as a competitive swimmer starting an
early elementary school my perception of
my body or my body image was shaped by
my physical abilities and experiences my
high school that had changed at age 15
after years of swim meets and daily
practices doing something I loved and
was good at I quit I didn’t quit because
I hated swimming I quit because I hated
the way I looked in my swimsuit so for
years I hid myself and I tried
relentlessly to fix myself but despite
all my best efforts I never felt truly
swimsuit worthy what I didn’t realize at
the time is that my body was never the
problem the problem was my body image so
when I sat in a classroom my freshman
year of college and learned for the
first time about the ways women’s bodies
are objectified and distorted in media
it shook me and it woke me up to a lot
of the ways I had suffered and held
myself back because my self-worth and my
body image were completely defined by my
appearance an appearance that never did
and never quite could live up to those
cultural ideals understanding this
problem of negative body image and how
to fix it became my academic and
personal passion and I guess I shouldn’t
have been surprised when my college
roommate discovered that same passion
because we not only shared a tiny dorm
room we also shared all of our DNA my
twin sister Lexi and I have been working
together to promote positive body image
since 2009 when we started our PhDs and
founded the nonprofit Beauty redefined
our approach to body image is a bit
different than most because we are
working to redefine not just the look of
beauty but its meaning and value in our
lives over the last 15 years or so
lots of well-meaning people and
companies have worked to improve women’s
body image by pushing the message that
all women are beautiful
flaws in all
this is a really nice message but it
isn’t fixing the problem
that’s because girls and women aren’t
only suffering because of the
unattainable ways beauty is being
defined they are suffering because they
are being defined by beauty
they are bodies first and people second
so rather than working to make sure more
women’s bodies are viewed as valuable we
are focused on making sure women are
valued as more than bodies to view
our work is founded on the premise the
positive body image isn’t believing your
body looks good it’s knowing your body
is good regardless of how it looks we
have to be able to see more in ourselves
and everyone else only then can we move
on and be able to be more more than
objects more than beautiful more than a
body we can start this process by
learning to see the invisible shame that
is a normal part of most of our lives
and that starts with body fixation
whether you feel like a perfect 10 or a
troll if you’re constantly thinking
about your appearance you’re falling
into this trap called self
objectification even if you’ve never
heard of this concept before it’s going
to sound completely familiar to most
girls and women and increasingly more
boys and men it feels like a mental task
list that Badgers you as you move
throughout your day if left to its own
devices mine sounds something like this
okay adjust your shirt
adjust your skirt oh I see those people
are looking at me so I’m gonna give him
my best angles make sure I suck it in Oh
chin up I feel that double chin creeping
in now I have to readjust my shirt
readjust my skirt and continue this
process until you die
self-objectification is the process of
monitoring your body from an outsider’s
perspective picturing what you look like
all day even when no one is looking at
you studies show if girls and women are
in a state of self objectification they
perform worse on math and reading
comprehension tests they can’t throw a
softball as hard or run as far or lift
as heavy of weights as they can when
they are not self-conscious of their
bodies if even a small part of your
mental energy is constantly dedicated to
your looks you are at a disadvantage and
this problem of self objectification
goes hand-in-hand with negative body
image about 3/4 of the women in our
dissertation studies felt very
negatively toward their bodies and
almost all of them were also self
objectifying this was especially clear
in the way they answered the first
question I asked how do you feel about
your body one woman said I feel like I’m
too fat or not skinny enough for the
world today I feel like I’m not good
enough for my husband because of my body
another woman said it’s never looked how
I wanted it to there are cellulite scars
veins things I try hard to keep hidden
as you can hear these women are
describing their feelings about their
own bodies as if they are outside
viewers looking at themselves it is
incredibly difficult to feel good about
your body if you were judging it solely
based on appearance especially over time
and especially considering these
unattainable ideals we’re up against but
some women do feel good about their
bodies and we need to figure out how
even when you feel positively towards
your body if you are thinking about it
in terms of appearance that’s likely to
change over time so we need to
understand how we can move on and not
only redefine beauty for ourselves in
ways that are better for our health but
redefine health for ourselves in ways
that have nothing to do with beauty too
many of us are judging our own fitness
in ways that have a lot to do with how
we look and very little to do with our
actual health but studies show a
person’s level of physical activity is
actually a much better indicator of
their health and fitness than their body
mass index their weight their size and
any other external measurement if we
really understood this health and
fitness could become something so much
more achievable and even empowering we
would be able to focus on how we feel
what our bodies can do and our internal
vitals and health rather than getting so
hung up on whether we have six-pack abs
or can fit into those old jeans in the
back of our closets we don’t care about
this is definitely a huge paradigm shift
for most people but I like to simplify
it and summarize it using my favorite
beauty redefined mantra my body is an
instrument not an ornament but like
once we can see more in ourselves than
ornaments to be looked at we can move on
to being more in our body obsessed
culture this is hard but some women do
feel good about their bodies regardless
of how they look so again how is this
possible our work at beauty redefined is
based on what we found by asking that
question when we looked at the women who
felt good about their bodies we found
they often had one thing in common they
also described very painful experiences
that had either created or magnified
their body shame at some point this
pointed us to a hopeful process and a
theoretical model called body image
resilience through this process some
women grow stronger and love their
bodies more not just in spite of the
pain they experience but because of what
they learn through that pain this is
possible because those painful
experiences can work as disruptions to
our body image pushing us out of our
comfort zones that might be filled with
self objectification and shame I say
comfort zone because those things are
normal for too many of us but they are
anything but comfortable a body image
disruption changes that because it
changes the way you perceive and relate
to your own body so whether you’re
disruption is being made fun of being
sexually assaulted having a baby or
putting on a swimsuit we all respond in
some way to deal with the shame that
those things stir up our research
identified three possible paths people
take in response to a body image
disruption the first path sinks us
deeper into shame through harmful coping
mechanisms like self-harm disordered
eating and abuse of alcohol or drugs a
13 year old girl shared her example with
me of initially sinking into this first
path she said I used to cut myself well
my last time doing that was yesterday
but I did it because I was bullied
everyday about my looks I was told that
no one would ever like me because of the
way I looked
just like this heartbreaking example if
you’re a response to a disruption numbs
you but ultimately leaves you worse off
than before it fits into this first and
worst response path the second path
keeps us clinging to those uncomfortable
comfort zones through hiding and fixing
hiding by avoiding events situations and
activities where you don’t want to be
looked at and fixing by trying to change
your appearance in some way to cope with
shame whether that’s through a liquid
only detox or liposuction even after I
quit swimming and spent years fixing my
supposed flaws or hiding them
successfully I still never felt any
better about my body that’s because this
second path doesn’t allow you to fight
against body shame it simply helps you
adapt to it by dressing it up or locking
it away to deal with later since shame
and body fixation are such normal parts
of so many of our comfort zones it’s
likely that we don’t even realize when
we are reacting to those issues so
sinking deeper into shame and clinging
to our comfort zones are probably just
our defaults and not deliberate choices
but no matter how many times you have
found yourself on one of these two paths
it is always possible to recognize your
disruptions and respond to them in a
better way for some of you listening to
me speak right now could be a body image
disruption because my words might be
shining a light on the shame you’ve
grown numb to or the self
objectification you’ve never lived
without that’s what happened for that
13-year old girl I mentioned just a
moment ago in the midst of her long
detour on that first path with self-harm
she reluctantly attended a beauty
redefined event where we spoke about how
to develop body image resilience and she
wrote to us afterward saying I thought
you would say you guys are all so
beautiful and then go home but you
helped me see that I’m worth so much
more than how I look to other people
like you guys said I can either use my
experiences to make me or break
me and I’m going to use them to make me
a stronger more compassionate person I
am so much more than what is on the
outside I’m going to work on believing
that
and she did get to work on believing
that she started practicing the
strategies we recommended in that event
and she stopped cutting herself she sent
us excited updates at 24 days and then
45 days with no self-harm and then
months and now years later saying it had
been very difficult but she was
receiving professional help and working
to help others with similar pain by
posting uplifting quotes around her
school as soon as she was able to see
the self objectification that had been
stinking her deeper into shame she was
able to see more in herself and then
fights to be more that day she chose a
better path the third path and started
rising with body image resilience it
took me years of clinging to my own
comfort zone refusing to swim before I
was able to find that better path all
through high school and college just
being invited to go swimming had become
a regular body image disruption in my
life one I always responded to by hiding
and fixing so at age 21 when my friends
and my boyfriend invited me to go swim
at a lake on a perfect summer day I
responded to that little disruption the
same way I always did without even
thinking about it I automatically fired
off all my best excuses to hide while I
mentally made plans to fix myself so I
could go next time
but that day those standard excuses rang
hollow to even me
they almost felt like self betrayal
because I realized that despite what I
was hearing myself say out loud I really
did want to go in that moment I caught
my first glimpse of the way I had been
drowning in body shame even as I had
avoided the water for years I stood
there in my bathroom alone and I did
some serious self-reflection and I
decided I was going to face my
disruption in a new way head-on I
quietly worked up the courage to put on
a swimsuit and I tried so hard to not
care that everyone could see me as I
hesitantly waded into that Lake
but that care that exhausting
self-objectification washed away the
moment I immerse myself in the water as
I swam my first few strokes in years I
was overwhelmed with this familiar
feeling that I was powerful I was
capable I was able to see how I had been
on this endless loop of trying to fix my
body that never needed to be fixed and
in order to do something I never stopped
being able to do I was still a swimmer
and any fear I had about how I looked
that day disappeared because I was
finally experiencing my body as an
instrument for my youth rather than an
ornament to be looked at I had tried for
so long to qualify to swim without shame
but it was only when I could see my
shame and choose to swim against it that
I was able to find that better path the
third path to the brave new world of
body image resilience that path has
become my passion and in the ten years
since that experience earning a PhD with
my twin sister along the way I’ve worked
to help others understand and tap into
their own power to face body image
disruptions and come out stronger for it
developing body image resilience is a
continuous ongoing process but the
crucial first step is what we are
already doing right now we’re learning
to see more we have to be able to see
more in our media and cultural messages
that objectify and distort our views of
beauty health and individual worth only
then can we see more in everyone around
us and especially in ourselves when we
can see more we can be more more than
objects more than beautiful more than a
body see more by redefining beauty for
yourself be more by refusing to be
defined by beauty thank you
[Applause]
early elementary school my perception of
my body or my body image was shaped by
my physical abilities and experiences my
high school that had changed at age 15
after years of swim meets and daily
practices doing something I loved and
was good at I quit I didn’t quit because
I hated swimming I quit because I hated
the way I looked in my swimsuit so for
years I hid myself and I tried
relentlessly to fix myself but despite
all my best efforts I never felt truly
swimsuit worthy what I didn’t realize at
the time is that my body was never the
problem the problem was my body image so
when I sat in a classroom my freshman
year of college and learned for the
first time about the ways women’s bodies
are objectified and distorted in media
it shook me and it woke me up to a lot
of the ways I had suffered and held
myself back because my self-worth and my
body image were completely defined by my
appearance an appearance that never did
and never quite could live up to those
cultural ideals understanding this
problem of negative body image and how
to fix it became my academic and
personal passion and I guess I shouldn’t
have been surprised when my college
roommate discovered that same passion
because we not only shared a tiny dorm
room we also shared all of our DNA my
twin sister Lexi and I have been working
together to promote positive body image
since 2009 when we started our PhDs and
founded the nonprofit Beauty redefined
our approach to body image is a bit
different than most because we are
working to redefine not just the look of
beauty but its meaning and value in our
lives over the last 15 years or so
lots of well-meaning people and
companies have worked to improve women’s
body image by pushing the message that
all women are beautiful
flaws in all
this is a really nice message but it
isn’t fixing the problem
that’s because girls and women aren’t
only suffering because of the
unattainable ways beauty is being
defined they are suffering because they
are being defined by beauty
they are bodies first and people second
so rather than working to make sure more
women’s bodies are viewed as valuable we
are focused on making sure women are
valued as more than bodies to view
our work is founded on the premise the
positive body image isn’t believing your
body looks good it’s knowing your body
is good regardless of how it looks we
have to be able to see more in ourselves
and everyone else only then can we move
on and be able to be more more than
objects more than beautiful more than a
body we can start this process by
learning to see the invisible shame that
is a normal part of most of our lives
and that starts with body fixation
whether you feel like a perfect 10 or a
troll if you’re constantly thinking
about your appearance you’re falling
into this trap called self
objectification even if you’ve never
heard of this concept before it’s going
to sound completely familiar to most
girls and women and increasingly more
boys and men it feels like a mental task
list that Badgers you as you move
throughout your day if left to its own
devices mine sounds something like this
okay adjust your shirt
adjust your skirt oh I see those people
are looking at me so I’m gonna give him
my best angles make sure I suck it in Oh
chin up I feel that double chin creeping
in now I have to readjust my shirt
readjust my skirt and continue this
process until you die
self-objectification is the process of
monitoring your body from an outsider’s
perspective picturing what you look like
all day even when no one is looking at
you studies show if girls and women are
in a state of self objectification they
perform worse on math and reading
comprehension tests they can’t throw a
softball as hard or run as far or lift
as heavy of weights as they can when
they are not self-conscious of their
bodies if even a small part of your
mental energy is constantly dedicated to
your looks you are at a disadvantage and
this problem of self objectification
goes hand-in-hand with negative body
image about 3/4 of the women in our
dissertation studies felt very
negatively toward their bodies and
almost all of them were also self
objectifying this was especially clear
in the way they answered the first
question I asked how do you feel about
your body one woman said I feel like I’m
too fat or not skinny enough for the
world today I feel like I’m not good
enough for my husband because of my body
another woman said it’s never looked how
I wanted it to there are cellulite scars
veins things I try hard to keep hidden
as you can hear these women are
describing their feelings about their
own bodies as if they are outside
viewers looking at themselves it is
incredibly difficult to feel good about
your body if you were judging it solely
based on appearance especially over time
and especially considering these
unattainable ideals we’re up against but
some women do feel good about their
bodies and we need to figure out how
even when you feel positively towards
your body if you are thinking about it
in terms of appearance that’s likely to
change over time so we need to
understand how we can move on and not
only redefine beauty for ourselves in
ways that are better for our health but
redefine health for ourselves in ways
that have nothing to do with beauty too
many of us are judging our own fitness
in ways that have a lot to do with how
we look and very little to do with our
actual health but studies show a
person’s level of physical activity is
actually a much better indicator of
their health and fitness than their body
mass index their weight their size and
any other external measurement if we
really understood this health and
fitness could become something so much
more achievable and even empowering we
would be able to focus on how we feel
what our bodies can do and our internal
vitals and health rather than getting so
hung up on whether we have six-pack abs
or can fit into those old jeans in the
back of our closets we don’t care about
this is definitely a huge paradigm shift
for most people but I like to simplify
it and summarize it using my favorite
beauty redefined mantra my body is an
instrument not an ornament but like
once we can see more in ourselves than
ornaments to be looked at we can move on
to being more in our body obsessed
culture this is hard but some women do
feel good about their bodies regardless
of how they look so again how is this
possible our work at beauty redefined is
based on what we found by asking that
question when we looked at the women who
felt good about their bodies we found
they often had one thing in common they
also described very painful experiences
that had either created or magnified
their body shame at some point this
pointed us to a hopeful process and a
theoretical model called body image
resilience through this process some
women grow stronger and love their
bodies more not just in spite of the
pain they experience but because of what
they learn through that pain this is
possible because those painful
experiences can work as disruptions to
our body image pushing us out of our
comfort zones that might be filled with
self objectification and shame I say
comfort zone because those things are
normal for too many of us but they are
anything but comfortable a body image
disruption changes that because it
changes the way you perceive and relate
to your own body so whether you’re
disruption is being made fun of being
sexually assaulted having a baby or
putting on a swimsuit we all respond in
some way to deal with the shame that
those things stir up our research
identified three possible paths people
take in response to a body image
disruption the first path sinks us
deeper into shame through harmful coping
mechanisms like self-harm disordered
eating and abuse of alcohol or drugs a
13 year old girl shared her example with
me of initially sinking into this first
path she said I used to cut myself well
my last time doing that was yesterday
but I did it because I was bullied
everyday about my looks I was told that
no one would ever like me because of the
way I looked
just like this heartbreaking example if
you’re a response to a disruption numbs
you but ultimately leaves you worse off
than before it fits into this first and
worst response path the second path
keeps us clinging to those uncomfortable
comfort zones through hiding and fixing
hiding by avoiding events situations and
activities where you don’t want to be
looked at and fixing by trying to change
your appearance in some way to cope with
shame whether that’s through a liquid
only detox or liposuction even after I
quit swimming and spent years fixing my
supposed flaws or hiding them
successfully I still never felt any
better about my body that’s because this
second path doesn’t allow you to fight
against body shame it simply helps you
adapt to it by dressing it up or locking
it away to deal with later since shame
and body fixation are such normal parts
of so many of our comfort zones it’s
likely that we don’t even realize when
we are reacting to those issues so
sinking deeper into shame and clinging
to our comfort zones are probably just
our defaults and not deliberate choices
but no matter how many times you have
found yourself on one of these two paths
it is always possible to recognize your
disruptions and respond to them in a
better way for some of you listening to
me speak right now could be a body image
disruption because my words might be
shining a light on the shame you’ve
grown numb to or the self
objectification you’ve never lived
without that’s what happened for that
13-year old girl I mentioned just a
moment ago in the midst of her long
detour on that first path with self-harm
she reluctantly attended a beauty
redefined event where we spoke about how
to develop body image resilience and she
wrote to us afterward saying I thought
you would say you guys are all so
beautiful and then go home but you
helped me see that I’m worth so much
more than how I look to other people
like you guys said I can either use my
experiences to make me or break
me and I’m going to use them to make me
a stronger more compassionate person I
am so much more than what is on the
outside I’m going to work on believing
that
and she did get to work on believing
that she started practicing the
strategies we recommended in that event
and she stopped cutting herself she sent
us excited updates at 24 days and then
45 days with no self-harm and then
months and now years later saying it had
been very difficult but she was
receiving professional help and working
to help others with similar pain by
posting uplifting quotes around her
school as soon as she was able to see
the self objectification that had been
stinking her deeper into shame she was
able to see more in herself and then
fights to be more that day she chose a
better path the third path and started
rising with body image resilience it
took me years of clinging to my own
comfort zone refusing to swim before I
was able to find that better path all
through high school and college just
being invited to go swimming had become
a regular body image disruption in my
life one I always responded to by hiding
and fixing so at age 21 when my friends
and my boyfriend invited me to go swim
at a lake on a perfect summer day I
responded to that little disruption the
same way I always did without even
thinking about it I automatically fired
off all my best excuses to hide while I
mentally made plans to fix myself so I
could go next time
but that day those standard excuses rang
hollow to even me
they almost felt like self betrayal
because I realized that despite what I
was hearing myself say out loud I really
did want to go in that moment I caught
my first glimpse of the way I had been
drowning in body shame even as I had
avoided the water for years I stood
there in my bathroom alone and I did
some serious self-reflection and I
decided I was going to face my
disruption in a new way head-on I
quietly worked up the courage to put on
a swimsuit and I tried so hard to not
care that everyone could see me as I
hesitantly waded into that Lake
but that care that exhausting
self-objectification washed away the
moment I immerse myself in the water as
I swam my first few strokes in years I
was overwhelmed with this familiar
feeling that I was powerful I was
capable I was able to see how I had been
on this endless loop of trying to fix my
body that never needed to be fixed and
in order to do something I never stopped
being able to do I was still a swimmer
and any fear I had about how I looked
that day disappeared because I was
finally experiencing my body as an
instrument for my youth rather than an
ornament to be looked at I had tried for
so long to qualify to swim without shame
but it was only when I could see my
shame and choose to swim against it that
I was able to find that better path the
third path to the brave new world of
body image resilience that path has
become my passion and in the ten years
since that experience earning a PhD with
my twin sister along the way I’ve worked
to help others understand and tap into
their own power to face body image
disruptions and come out stronger for it
developing body image resilience is a
continuous ongoing process but the
crucial first step is what we are
already doing right now we’re learning
to see more we have to be able to see
more in our media and cultural messages
that objectify and distort our views of
beauty health and individual worth only
then can we see more in everyone around
us and especially in ourselves when we
can see more we can be more more than
objects more than beautiful more than a
body see more by redefining beauty for
yourself be more by refusing to be
defined by beauty thank you
[Applause]
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