[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
thank you so here’s a little issue we
have in America today there are
currently about 250,000 people a year
who are dying in our hospitals due to
due to preventable deaths and I’m not
talking about negligence I’m talking
about little accidents right I’m talking
about the doctor in the morning not
properly briefing the doctor for the
evening you know I’m talking about
things that you know we can’t sue
anybody there’s nothing there’s nothing
that we can see that’s wrong but there’s
250,000 preventable deaths every year
that’s about 20 747s going down every
single week that’s what’s the equivalent
to and the confusing thing is that we
have the best doctors in the world we
have the most advanced technology in the
world some of the medical equipment we
have is the best in the world the
medicines we have are the best in the
world so you start asking yourselves why
are these things happening and the
reason is not because of any of those
things the reasons are actually
something vastly more simple something
very very human 5% of hospital
administrators are doctors most of them
are number crunchers hospitals are run
like businesses hospitals are run by the
numbers and the problem isn’t the people
who are giving the care they’re very
highly trained the problem is the way
those people are cared for because what
we’ve done is we’ve created cultures and
hospitals where the people who are doing
the caring are cared for and so all of
these little preventable deaths are
happening because they don’t feel like
they’re a part of anything they’re just
doing their jobs and they don’t get
along that well and there’s not a lot of
camaraderie and the impact is death
right now I use this example because
it’s exaggerated because the impact is
so powerful but the problem is the same
in our own companies right which is we
come to work and we’re told you must
care for your clients you must care for
your customers you must make them the
focus of all you do
and yet why aren’t the people who are
managing us from the top caring about us
so yes in a hospital the impact is worse
but the impact that we’re having on the
outside world is just as bad in other
words we’re not working at our best we
don’t care for the things we’re doing
we’re not helping each other is the most
important part and the residual impact
is that we are unfulfilled by the work
that we do and when we run fulfilled by
the work that we do we focus on the
details and when we focus on the details
we retract from each other when we track
from each other we feel lonely and when
we feel lonely cancer goes up heart
disease goes up diabetes goes up in
other words by going to work we’re
killing ourselves literally there’s
another study that was released not that
long ago that says that parents who work
late the negative impact that it has on
their children is little to none they
may feel guilty as parents but the
negative impact that it has on the
raising of the children is little to
none however parents who come home from
jobs they hate or don’t love their kids
are more likely to be bullies at school
and now you think about the bullying
epidemic we have in America right where
there’s this disturbing number of young
children who are killing themselves
suicides because of bullies the problem
is not the schools and the problem isn’t
even the parenting the problem is the
jobs the parents have this is the
importance and this is the power of the
work that we do in the places we go to
work right most of us I mean like we
listen to the unemployment statistics
they say you know we’re all-time-high
record high 9 to 10 percent unemployment
right and people go Mike oh that’s
terrible and I hear that number and I go
well that means 91 percent still have a
job right now granted we want to get
that employment number up but that means
ninety-one percent is still going to
work the question is how many of them
coming home fulfilled by the work that
they do and how many of them are waking
up inspired to go back to work the next
day if we don’t love our works we don’t
look out for each other and if we don’t
look out for each other we feel lonely
if we don’t feel lonely all these
negative things happen so what example
can I share with a creative audience
about how to change this the United
States Marine Corps
I had the great honor last week of
spending a week with the Marines I spent
a couple days at Camp Lejeune and then I
went for a few days to Parris Island to
watch them go through boot camp and this
isn’t a room it’s a remarkable
remarkable human experiment that they’re
doing and even though they know what
works they don’t know why it works but
they don’t need to know why because they
know that it works right but what’s
happening is they’re taking a group of
strangers people who don’t know each
other who were showing up and within a
very very short period of time learn to
trust each other so much that they would
give their lives for each other right
and we know everyone sort of anyone
who’s ever worn a human reform knows
that no one runs into battle for God and
country it doesn’t happen it’s for the
guy to the left of me and the guy to the
right of me that’s the reason they do
what they do right and these sort of
remarkable stories of heroism where
people rush into very very dangerous
situations to save others and they
always ask the question why did you do
it why would you risk your life why
would you put yourself at risk for them
and the answer is always the same
because they would do it for me in other
words what gives them the confidence to
put themselves at great risk is the
knowledge that someone would do the same
for them we would put ourselves a great
risk for our companies if we knew that
our companies would put themselves a
great risk for us but they don’t so we
don’t now one of the things that’s
remarkable about the Marines and if you
go read and you know this is the most I
asked these young and they’re 21 22
years old some of these of these lance
corporals the grunts you know the guys
the infantry I mean this is the lowest
of the low the ones we actually send in
to battle the frontlines and I asked
them are you misunderstood in America
and they said yes unanimously they all
nodded I said what what do people think
of you and one stood up and says they
think we’re baby killers I said how does
it feel he says it hurts
and when I say we’ll tell me a story
then that captures to you what it means
to be a Marine the feeling you have of
being a Marine tell me a story that
captures it and I expected to hear
stories of I took a hit and somebody
save me or I ran into a fire if I can
pull something I expected these stories
of heroism not a single story like that
came out now I’m sure those stories
exist but those aren’t the
the stories they told me that capture
what it means to be a marine one of the
stories they told me was a young boy in
Afghanistan who would come around every
morning and sell kebabs to the Marines
and then one day he showed up and he was
all beaten up and he didn’t go to his
parents for help and he didn’t go to his
friends to help he came to the Marines
for help because he trusted them more
than anyone else they told me a story
that captured how they feel of a sevilla
JH that had been overrun by the taliban
and the residents of the village could
couldn’t go home because they would be
killed by the Taliban and so they were
just living by the river the problem was
winter was coming and one of the the
elders came to the Marines knocked on
the door and said I need you to come
down to the river and kill us and the
Marine said what are you talking about
he says if we go back home we’ll be
killed by the Taliban and if we stay out
there we’re going to die slow deaths
this winter it’s easier if you just come
and kill us please
the Marines over ran the Taliban village
pushed the Taliban out a year later they
went back to this village and people
were playing volleyball these were the
stories they told me that capture what
it means to be a Marine they believed in
doing good for others and the
fulfillment they get when they put
themselves at risk so that others may
prevail is overwhelming this is not
unique to the Marine Corps this is all
human beings the feeling of fulfillment
comes from doing something for another
the feeling from fulfillment comes from
the exertion of time and energy for
someone else if you are walking to work
and you throw a few pennies in a cup and
you come to work and you say to your
friends hey guys I gave a dollar to
somebody homeless this morning what are
you friends going to say yeah good right
I gave 20 bucks to somebody homeless
they’d be like yeah good for you right
what have you come in in the morning you
say hey I gave up my Saturday night went
and paid missus painted a school in the
inner city people go whoa cool wow cool
and all of a sudden not only are they
inspired to do something good themselves
but the feeling that that you have
persists the amazing thing is that when
we do good for others that actually
inspires other
to do good for others this is provided
for us prymatt illogically
anthropologically it’s all part of the
survival of the species you know sex
feels good so that will do it so we can
procreate and perpetuate the species but
we’re social animals and so we have to
provide for the fact that we’ll maintain
strong bonds and build cultures right
because that’s what humans do we’re
cultural animals and so when we do good
for others and we look out for those in
our tribe we look out for those in our
group it actually feels good
biologically releases oxytocin this
chemical that’s released when you do
good for others is released and it makes
you feel good the amazing thing is the
more oxytocin and you have in your body
the more you want to do good for others
the problem is we replace this feeling
the exertion of time and energy with
digital communications we’ve replaced it
with headphones we’ve replaced it with
money right think about the invention of
money right it used to be money you know
used to be like you go to someone’s
house you cook them dinner and the deal
was they’ll do the dishes time and
energy exchange for time and energy and
someone said I’ll give you an IOU right
someone says I don’t feel like doing the
dishes so I’m going to give you an IOU
that I promise to do them another day
right and that’s what money is it is the
promise for future goods or services the
promise of future goods and services in
other words we’ve replaced our own time
and energy with promises for someone
else to do it another day right in other
words there’s no exertion of time and
energy and so the feeling people get is
that I did something for you and you did
nothing for me you replaced it with a
piece of paper with an eye are you with
a promise for future goods and services
the way we find fulfillment is by doing
good for others so how did the marine
zoo how do you get people to do good for
others we all know this intellectually
we know that it’s good to do good for
others but why don’t we do it then why
don’t we do it and what the Marines
learn is something that I completely did
not expect they can’t just yell at these
guys to help each other that’s not what
happens there’s a few things that they
have to do first so we all heard of the
obstacle course right the Marines have a
thing called the obstacle course and
this is where they build an aerobic
strength and aerobic strength muscle
strength and it’s timed and all of this
good stuff they have another course
called the confidence course and it’s
never timed and most of the obstacles on
this course cannot be completed by
yourself
they must be completed in teams you have
no choice that’s just how it’s designed
and what they say is the first two weeks
of boot camp everybody’s there to outdo
each other and prove that they’re strong
just kind of like when we start in a job
would prove we want to show how great we
are we’ll work a little harder we’ll do
good work look how good my design is
right it’s all about us and how good we
are right but they keep putting them in
situations where they can’t do things by
themselves and what starts to happen
very slowly they said after about two
weeks they start cheering for each other
now they get in trouble when they do but
they start cheering for each other and
then before too long you see them
organically start helping each other and
what happens is if there’s one person
who’s weak and refuses to help each
others or even if there’s one person
who’s strong who’s you know I was the
star college athlete and they get to
every the end of every obstacle they
just stand there and wait for everybody
to finish and they don’t help each other
what starts to happen as organically the
group starts to ostracize that person
organically they get ostracized until
they learn that the only way that they
will get through this thing the only way
they will survive boot camp is if they
ask for help because they have no option
the problem is no one will help them
until they’re willing to help another
it’s the deal we have to make it’s
called vulnerability and risk we have to
take the risk to make ourselves
vulnerable yes you might do something
for someone else and they may not do
something back for you that’s the risk
you run that’s the risk you run it’s not
about it’s not about giving everything
to them and and sort of huge big
overwhelming risk it’s about little
things and little things it’s like going
on a date right it’s like if I went on a
date with somebody I came home and I
said after one date I said I’m marrying
her they’d be like what are you nuts
I’d be like I’m in love they’re like
what your this is crazy I’m like I know
I’m in love
she feels the same way we both know it’s
nuts right now you know that you’re
gonna be like go on a couple more dates
right we know instinctively that the
strong bun that’s create that that needs
to be created first takes more than a
week right we know that right but if
I’ve been dating somebody for seven
years and we haven’t you know married
you’ll be like dude what is wrong right
in other words we know that it takes
more than seven days and we know that it
takes less than seven years the problem
is we don’t know how long it takes
somewhere in the middle all human buns
are the same like when you show up at
work when you show for the first time
when you’re new don’t expect that people
will look out for you and they won’t
expect you to look out for them in seven
days
it won’t happen but if you’ve been
working at a job for a few years and you
don’t have the uh the sort of the
absolute confidence that if you turn
your back you will not get stabbed you
can rely on somebody you can give them
something nothing will go wrong you will
share the credit no one will throw you
under the bus if you don’t have that in
a few years something’s wrong
something’s wrong I don’t know how long
it takes but I know that’s more than a
week and I know it’s less than seven
years and the Marines fundamentally
understand that before anyone is willing
to put themselves out for another they
have to have self-confidence real
self-confidence you have to be confident
in yourself and your own ability before
you’re willing to help another if you’re
insecure at all about your own ability
it’s an oxy it’s sort of a paradox right
how am I can I overcome my confidence
you know my self-confidence and we all
have ego issues at all times you know we
all do right but if I’m not confident
myself I won’t help another it’s a
paradox because then we need someone to
look out for us before we’re willing to
help our peers right this is what
management is supposed to do the drill
instructors the school they are they’re
our parents they are there for one
reason and one reason only to help us
feel strong and good about ourselves but
look at the way we talk to each other
Villa pizza look a budgets been cut and
so what do you get told I need you guys
to do more with less right that’s what
we’re told hey guys I need you guys to
do more with less that’s we’re told by
our clients by our bosses by our parents
is what we’re told right that’s like
your parents telling you when you’re
young
no you’re stupid figure it out right
you’re not as smart as the other kids
what do you want me to do right it’s the
exact same thing I need you to do more
with less right what we need to be
telling people is I need you I need you
to do more with what you have right you
have capacity you have strength you have
talent you have kapap ability I need you
to do more with what you have we don’t
celebrate what we’ve got we criticize
for what we don’t have this is the
responsibility of management to take us
under their wing and help us understand
our own value to ourselves
close your eyes and think back to high
school and think of that one teacher who
took you under their wing and cared for
you and looked after you and helped you
realize that you are capable of more
than you thought you were and you and
you you probably are the person you are
today in some part because of that
person right you have that name what’s
the name tell me the name tell me the
name of the teacher okay give me the
name okay I can point to anybody and you
can tell me that name now tell me the
names of all the other teachers you had
that day can’t remember them can you
this is the power of those who teaches
confidence we will literally carry their
names around with us for the rest of our
lives wouldn’t you want to be that
person wouldn’t you want to be the
person that twenty years from now 30
years from now 40 years from now I can
do this exercise with somebody and they
will tell me your name this is the power
of helping others realize their own
strengths this is what management and
leadership is supposed to be doing
they’re supposed to be caring for us and
helping us realize our own value and by
the way if you have anybody who reports
to your works for you your
responsibility is not to make them meet
the deadline your responsibility is not
to make sure that they do as you say
your responsibility is to make sure that
they understand their own strengths
their own value and that they are way
way more talented than they think they
are and the only way they will learn
that
is if you put them in situations in
which they can fail and you hold them
and you support them and you give them
talent and you give them skills and you
give them education and you watch their
backs and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up and if
they follow the you carriage them to get
back up and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up until they
figure it out themselves
it’s called confidence it’s your
responsibility to help others find it
and others responsibility to help you
you find yours and the amazing thing is
as soon as you start feeling comforted
in your own ability you naturally help
each other that’s what happens it’s
called trust in the military they give
medals to people who are willing to
sacrifice themselves so that others may
gain in business we are willing to give
bonuses to people who will sacrifice
others so that we may gain we have it
backwards and then we complain about how
we don’t love our jobs and we complain
about how the work is suffering and we
complain about how budgets are being cut
and we can complain and complain
complain and the first thing we do is
blame each other and become more selfish
and worry about my pay and my benefits
and my this and this is what happens
when we are unfulfilled we look at the
metrics and we say they’re not good
enough when we are fulfilled we don’t
care about the metrics this is why when
you have a job you love and you get a
call that says I’ll offer you tons more
money and great benefits you like I’m
not interested I’m not interested I I’m
not interested I’m very happy here but
we’ll give you more that’s not the
reason I’m here I’m here because I love
it I’m here because I care for the
people I work with and I’m here because
the people I work with care for me this
is the world I imagine this is the world
I imagine and here’s the great thing if
you take little risks I’m not talking
about big things little things if you
start doing little things for each other
the amazing anthropological response is
other people will start doing little
things for others – I was walking down
the street two days ago and a guy’s
backpack was open and a whole bunch of
paper fell out as he was walking down
the street and I happen to be behind him
and so my friend and I just sort of we
were in mid conversation and in mid
conversation we never even stopped
talking we just bent down sort of helped
him gather his papers and them back to
him sort of pointed out that his bet
book bag was his you know
was unzipped and he said thanks and we
walked out it was like no big deal right
we get to the end of the the street we
stand at that we’re waiting it to cross
the street we’re still talking we
haven’t stopped talking and the guy in
front of us turns to us and says I saw
you help that guy that was really cool
but here’s what’s great about that the
guy will go do something for someone
else simply because he saw us bend down
and pick up paper for someone else he
will actually go do something for
someone else because of it right he he
won’t give to charity because he sees me
put a dollar in a cup but he will
actually help someone because he saw
someone also helps someone little things
hold a door open for someone say thank
you to the person hold the door open for
you smile to the barista little little
things you’re you know put your foot in
the subway when the door is closing so
someone who’s running will make it hit
the open at the elevator don’t go or
pretend you didn’t see that’s the best
one you know oh I would if I saw sorry
right do it a little time and a little
energy and you’ll find a round work that
people give a little time and a little
energy back to you and you’ll give a
little more time and a little more
energy you go for a coffee with someone
then you go for a two-hour coffee and
you go for a coffee and a lunch then you
go for a lunch and a dinner then you go
for a dinner and a movie and then you
sleep over and then you sleep over two
nights and then you go on holiday
together and eventually you get married
right it’s slow it takes time and we
can’t rush it you know if when we rush
it it’s all fake
do things for others and watch watch how
much others do for you but you know go
you go get yourself a cup of coffee from
the coffee chute machine in the morning
make one for someone else it takes a
little extra time it takes a little
extra energy that’s the point that’s the
point and here’s the best part you will
feel so good at the end of the day so
good thank you very much
thank you next month is Bre Pettis who
is one of the founders of MakerBot he’s
going to be speaking a seriously excited
and the funny thing is I ran into him
about four weeks ago in a playground and
I saw him sitting there I’ve never met
him but I recognized him from videos
that have watched about MakerBot and
like while I’m chasing my kid is like
can I go up to him this is weird it’s a
stall key can I do this so eventually I
just go pull everything together went up
it was like you’re to make a buck guy
alright he goes yup and his wife looks
at me you’re Swiss Miss I recognize your
kids from Instagram so ever and the next
thing you know he’s speaking next month
how awesome is this and then for those
of you who’ve been here in November at
11 11 11 who has been at the rainbow
birthday parade well you should partake
next Saturday because jesse has another
rainbow birthday parade and she’s
actually trying to break a world record
and having the longest rainbow birthday
parade ever that watches over the
Brooklyn Bridge and there’s a ginormous
marching band gonna be here and Chris
who’s our audio/video guy he’s actually
in that band it’s called them uh now I’m
blanking on it
the hungry March band yes I can’t
believe I just blanked on it so if you
want to partake in this you should it’s
so much fun you need to dress in one
color we’re going to line up
monochromatic aliy rainbow style and
March so and you have to sign up at the
largest rainbow parade eventbrite.com
please come it’s super fun bring your
kids if you have kids that’s it see you
next month I hope thank you for coming
out and thank you again Simon
you
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
thank you so here’s a little issue we
have in America today there are
currently about 250,000 people a year
who are dying in our hospitals due to
due to preventable deaths and I’m not
talking about negligence I’m talking
about little accidents right I’m talking
about the doctor in the morning not
properly briefing the doctor for the
evening you know I’m talking about
things that you know we can’t sue
anybody there’s nothing there’s nothing
that we can see that’s wrong but there’s
250,000 preventable deaths every year
that’s about 20 747s going down every
single week that’s what’s the equivalent
to and the confusing thing is that we
have the best doctors in the world we
have the most advanced technology in the
world some of the medical equipment we
have is the best in the world the
medicines we have are the best in the
world so you start asking yourselves why
are these things happening and the
reason is not because of any of those
things the reasons are actually
something vastly more simple something
very very human 5% of hospital
administrators are doctors most of them
are number crunchers hospitals are run
like businesses hospitals are run by the
numbers and the problem isn’t the people
who are giving the care they’re very
highly trained the problem is the way
those people are cared for because what
we’ve done is we’ve created cultures and
hospitals where the people who are doing
the caring are cared for and so all of
these little preventable deaths are
happening because they don’t feel like
they’re a part of anything they’re just
doing their jobs and they don’t get
along that well and there’s not a lot of
camaraderie and the impact is death
right now I use this example because
it’s exaggerated because the impact is
so powerful but the problem is the same
in our own companies right which is we
come to work and we’re told you must
care for your clients you must care for
your customers you must make them the
focus of all you do
and yet why aren’t the people who are
managing us from the top caring about us
so yes in a hospital the impact is worse
but the impact that we’re having on the
outside world is just as bad in other
words we’re not working at our best we
don’t care for the things we’re doing
we’re not helping each other is the most
important part and the residual impact
is that we are unfulfilled by the work
that we do and when we run fulfilled by
the work that we do we focus on the
details and when we focus on the details
we retract from each other when we track
from each other we feel lonely and when
we feel lonely cancer goes up heart
disease goes up diabetes goes up in
other words by going to work we’re
killing ourselves literally there’s
another study that was released not that
long ago that says that parents who work
late the negative impact that it has on
their children is little to none they
may feel guilty as parents but the
negative impact that it has on the
raising of the children is little to
none however parents who come home from
jobs they hate or don’t love their kids
are more likely to be bullies at school
and now you think about the bullying
epidemic we have in America right where
there’s this disturbing number of young
children who are killing themselves
suicides because of bullies the problem
is not the schools and the problem isn’t
even the parenting the problem is the
jobs the parents have this is the
importance and this is the power of the
work that we do in the places we go to
work right most of us I mean like we
listen to the unemployment statistics
they say you know we’re all-time-high
record high 9 to 10 percent unemployment
right and people go Mike oh that’s
terrible and I hear that number and I go
well that means 91 percent still have a
job right now granted we want to get
that employment number up but that means
ninety-one percent is still going to
work the question is how many of them
coming home fulfilled by the work that
they do and how many of them are waking
up inspired to go back to work the next
day if we don’t love our works we don’t
look out for each other and if we don’t
look out for each other we feel lonely
if we don’t feel lonely all these
negative things happen so what example
can I share with a creative audience
about how to change this the United
States Marine Corps
I had the great honor last week of
spending a week with the Marines I spent
a couple days at Camp Lejeune and then I
went for a few days to Parris Island to
watch them go through boot camp and this
isn’t a room it’s a remarkable
remarkable human experiment that they’re
doing and even though they know what
works they don’t know why it works but
they don’t need to know why because they
know that it works right but what’s
happening is they’re taking a group of
strangers people who don’t know each
other who were showing up and within a
very very short period of time learn to
trust each other so much that they would
give their lives for each other right
and we know everyone sort of anyone
who’s ever worn a human reform knows
that no one runs into battle for God and
country it doesn’t happen it’s for the
guy to the left of me and the guy to the
right of me that’s the reason they do
what they do right and these sort of
remarkable stories of heroism where
people rush into very very dangerous
situations to save others and they
always ask the question why did you do
it why would you risk your life why
would you put yourself at risk for them
and the answer is always the same
because they would do it for me in other
words what gives them the confidence to
put themselves at great risk is the
knowledge that someone would do the same
for them we would put ourselves a great
risk for our companies if we knew that
our companies would put themselves a
great risk for us but they don’t so we
don’t now one of the things that’s
remarkable about the Marines and if you
go read and you know this is the most I
asked these young and they’re 21 22
years old some of these of these lance
corporals the grunts you know the guys
the infantry I mean this is the lowest
of the low the ones we actually send in
to battle the frontlines and I asked
them are you misunderstood in America
and they said yes unanimously they all
nodded I said what what do people think
of you and one stood up and says they
think we’re baby killers I said how does
it feel he says it hurts
and when I say we’ll tell me a story
then that captures to you what it means
to be a Marine the feeling you have of
being a Marine tell me a story that
captures it and I expected to hear
stories of I took a hit and somebody
save me or I ran into a fire if I can
pull something I expected these stories
of heroism not a single story like that
came out now I’m sure those stories
exist but those aren’t the
the stories they told me that capture
what it means to be a marine one of the
stories they told me was a young boy in
Afghanistan who would come around every
morning and sell kebabs to the Marines
and then one day he showed up and he was
all beaten up and he didn’t go to his
parents for help and he didn’t go to his
friends to help he came to the Marines
for help because he trusted them more
than anyone else they told me a story
that captured how they feel of a sevilla
JH that had been overrun by the taliban
and the residents of the village could
couldn’t go home because they would be
killed by the Taliban and so they were
just living by the river the problem was
winter was coming and one of the the
elders came to the Marines knocked on
the door and said I need you to come
down to the river and kill us and the
Marine said what are you talking about
he says if we go back home we’ll be
killed by the Taliban and if we stay out
there we’re going to die slow deaths
this winter it’s easier if you just come
and kill us please
the Marines over ran the Taliban village
pushed the Taliban out a year later they
went back to this village and people
were playing volleyball these were the
stories they told me that capture what
it means to be a Marine they believed in
doing good for others and the
fulfillment they get when they put
themselves at risk so that others may
prevail is overwhelming this is not
unique to the Marine Corps this is all
human beings the feeling of fulfillment
comes from doing something for another
the feeling from fulfillment comes from
the exertion of time and energy for
someone else if you are walking to work
and you throw a few pennies in a cup and
you come to work and you say to your
friends hey guys I gave a dollar to
somebody homeless this morning what are
you friends going to say yeah good right
I gave 20 bucks to somebody homeless
they’d be like yeah good for you right
what have you come in in the morning you
say hey I gave up my Saturday night went
and paid missus painted a school in the
inner city people go whoa cool wow cool
and all of a sudden not only are they
inspired to do something good themselves
but the feeling that that you have
persists the amazing thing is that when
we do good for others that actually
inspires other
to do good for others this is provided
for us prymatt illogically
anthropologically it’s all part of the
survival of the species you know sex
feels good so that will do it so we can
procreate and perpetuate the species but
we’re social animals and so we have to
provide for the fact that we’ll maintain
strong bonds and build cultures right
because that’s what humans do we’re
cultural animals and so when we do good
for others and we look out for those in
our tribe we look out for those in our
group it actually feels good
biologically releases oxytocin this
chemical that’s released when you do
good for others is released and it makes
you feel good the amazing thing is the
more oxytocin and you have in your body
the more you want to do good for others
the problem is we replace this feeling
the exertion of time and energy with
digital communications we’ve replaced it
with headphones we’ve replaced it with
money right think about the invention of
money right it used to be money you know
used to be like you go to someone’s
house you cook them dinner and the deal
was they’ll do the dishes time and
energy exchange for time and energy and
someone said I’ll give you an IOU right
someone says I don’t feel like doing the
dishes so I’m going to give you an IOU
that I promise to do them another day
right and that’s what money is it is the
promise for future goods or services the
promise of future goods and services in
other words we’ve replaced our own time
and energy with promises for someone
else to do it another day right in other
words there’s no exertion of time and
energy and so the feeling people get is
that I did something for you and you did
nothing for me you replaced it with a
piece of paper with an eye are you with
a promise for future goods and services
the way we find fulfillment is by doing
good for others so how did the marine
zoo how do you get people to do good for
others we all know this intellectually
we know that it’s good to do good for
others but why don’t we do it then why
don’t we do it and what the Marines
learn is something that I completely did
not expect they can’t just yell at these
guys to help each other that’s not what
happens there’s a few things that they
have to do first so we all heard of the
obstacle course right the Marines have a
thing called the obstacle course and
this is where they build an aerobic
strength and aerobic strength muscle
strength and it’s timed and all of this
good stuff they have another course
called the confidence course and it’s
never timed and most of the obstacles on
this course cannot be completed by
yourself
they must be completed in teams you have
no choice that’s just how it’s designed
and what they say is the first two weeks
of boot camp everybody’s there to outdo
each other and prove that they’re strong
just kind of like when we start in a job
would prove we want to show how great we
are we’ll work a little harder we’ll do
good work look how good my design is
right it’s all about us and how good we
are right but they keep putting them in
situations where they can’t do things by
themselves and what starts to happen
very slowly they said after about two
weeks they start cheering for each other
now they get in trouble when they do but
they start cheering for each other and
then before too long you see them
organically start helping each other and
what happens is if there’s one person
who’s weak and refuses to help each
others or even if there’s one person
who’s strong who’s you know I was the
star college athlete and they get to
every the end of every obstacle they
just stand there and wait for everybody
to finish and they don’t help each other
what starts to happen as organically the
group starts to ostracize that person
organically they get ostracized until
they learn that the only way that they
will get through this thing the only way
they will survive boot camp is if they
ask for help because they have no option
the problem is no one will help them
until they’re willing to help another
it’s the deal we have to make it’s
called vulnerability and risk we have to
take the risk to make ourselves
vulnerable yes you might do something
for someone else and they may not do
something back for you that’s the risk
you run that’s the risk you run it’s not
about it’s not about giving everything
to them and and sort of huge big
overwhelming risk it’s about little
things and little things it’s like going
on a date right it’s like if I went on a
date with somebody I came home and I
said after one date I said I’m marrying
her they’d be like what are you nuts
I’d be like I’m in love they’re like
what your this is crazy I’m like I know
I’m in love
she feels the same way we both know it’s
nuts right now you know that you’re
gonna be like go on a couple more dates
right we know instinctively that the
strong bun that’s create that that needs
to be created first takes more than a
week right we know that right but if
I’ve been dating somebody for seven
years and we haven’t you know married
you’ll be like dude what is wrong right
in other words we know that it takes
more than seven days and we know that it
takes less than seven years the problem
is we don’t know how long it takes
somewhere in the middle all human buns
are the same like when you show up at
work when you show for the first time
when you’re new don’t expect that people
will look out for you and they won’t
expect you to look out for them in seven
days
it won’t happen but if you’ve been
working at a job for a few years and you
don’t have the uh the sort of the
absolute confidence that if you turn
your back you will not get stabbed you
can rely on somebody you can give them
something nothing will go wrong you will
share the credit no one will throw you
under the bus if you don’t have that in
a few years something’s wrong
something’s wrong I don’t know how long
it takes but I know that’s more than a
week and I know it’s less than seven
years and the Marines fundamentally
understand that before anyone is willing
to put themselves out for another they
have to have self-confidence real
self-confidence you have to be confident
in yourself and your own ability before
you’re willing to help another if you’re
insecure at all about your own ability
it’s an oxy it’s sort of a paradox right
how am I can I overcome my confidence
you know my self-confidence and we all
have ego issues at all times you know we
all do right but if I’m not confident
myself I won’t help another it’s a
paradox because then we need someone to
look out for us before we’re willing to
help our peers right this is what
management is supposed to do the drill
instructors the school they are they’re
our parents they are there for one
reason and one reason only to help us
feel strong and good about ourselves but
look at the way we talk to each other
Villa pizza look a budgets been cut and
so what do you get told I need you guys
to do more with less right that’s what
we’re told hey guys I need you guys to
do more with less that’s we’re told by
our clients by our bosses by our parents
is what we’re told right that’s like
your parents telling you when you’re
young
no you’re stupid figure it out right
you’re not as smart as the other kids
what do you want me to do right it’s the
exact same thing I need you to do more
with less right what we need to be
telling people is I need you I need you
to do more with what you have right you
have capacity you have strength you have
talent you have kapap ability I need you
to do more with what you have we don’t
celebrate what we’ve got we criticize
for what we don’t have this is the
responsibility of management to take us
under their wing and help us understand
our own value to ourselves
close your eyes and think back to high
school and think of that one teacher who
took you under their wing and cared for
you and looked after you and helped you
realize that you are capable of more
than you thought you were and you and
you you probably are the person you are
today in some part because of that
person right you have that name what’s
the name tell me the name tell me the
name of the teacher okay give me the
name okay I can point to anybody and you
can tell me that name now tell me the
names of all the other teachers you had
that day can’t remember them can you
this is the power of those who teaches
confidence we will literally carry their
names around with us for the rest of our
lives wouldn’t you want to be that
person wouldn’t you want to be the
person that twenty years from now 30
years from now 40 years from now I can
do this exercise with somebody and they
will tell me your name this is the power
of helping others realize their own
strengths this is what management and
leadership is supposed to be doing
they’re supposed to be caring for us and
helping us realize our own value and by
the way if you have anybody who reports
to your works for you your
responsibility is not to make them meet
the deadline your responsibility is not
to make sure that they do as you say
your responsibility is to make sure that
they understand their own strengths
their own value and that they are way
way more talented than they think they
are and the only way they will learn
that
is if you put them in situations in
which they can fail and you hold them
and you support them and you give them
talent and you give them skills and you
give them education and you watch their
backs and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up and if
they follow the you carriage them to get
back up and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up until they
figure it out themselves
it’s called confidence it’s your
responsibility to help others find it
and others responsibility to help you
you find yours and the amazing thing is
as soon as you start feeling comforted
in your own ability you naturally help
each other that’s what happens it’s
called trust in the military they give
medals to people who are willing to
sacrifice themselves so that others may
gain in business we are willing to give
bonuses to people who will sacrifice
others so that we may gain we have it
backwards and then we complain about how
we don’t love our jobs and we complain
about how the work is suffering and we
complain about how budgets are being cut
and we can complain and complain
complain and the first thing we do is
blame each other and become more selfish
and worry about my pay and my benefits
and my this and this is what happens
when we are unfulfilled we look at the
metrics and we say they’re not good
enough when we are fulfilled we don’t
care about the metrics this is why when
you have a job you love and you get a
call that says I’ll offer you tons more
money and great benefits you like I’m
not interested I’m not interested I I’m
not interested I’m very happy here but
we’ll give you more that’s not the
reason I’m here I’m here because I love
it I’m here because I care for the
people I work with and I’m here because
the people I work with care for me this
is the world I imagine this is the world
I imagine and here’s the great thing if
you take little risks I’m not talking
about big things little things if you
start doing little things for each other
the amazing anthropological response is
other people will start doing little
things for others – I was walking down
the street two days ago and a guy’s
backpack was open and a whole bunch of
paper fell out as he was walking down
the street and I happen to be behind him
and so my friend and I just sort of we
were in mid conversation and in mid
conversation we never even stopped
talking we just bent down sort of helped
him gather his papers and them back to
him sort of pointed out that his bet
book bag was his you know
was unzipped and he said thanks and we
walked out it was like no big deal right
we get to the end of the the street we
stand at that we’re waiting it to cross
the street we’re still talking we
haven’t stopped talking and the guy in
front of us turns to us and says I saw
you help that guy that was really cool
but here’s what’s great about that the
guy will go do something for someone
else simply because he saw us bend down
and pick up paper for someone else he
will actually go do something for
someone else because of it right he he
won’t give to charity because he sees me
put a dollar in a cup but he will
actually help someone because he saw
someone also helps someone little things
hold a door open for someone say thank
you to the person hold the door open for
you smile to the barista little little
things you’re you know put your foot in
the subway when the door is closing so
someone who’s running will make it hit
the open at the elevator don’t go or
pretend you didn’t see that’s the best
one you know oh I would if I saw sorry
right do it a little time and a little
energy and you’ll find a round work that
people give a little time and a little
energy back to you and you’ll give a
little more time and a little more
energy you go for a coffee with someone
then you go for a two-hour coffee and
you go for a coffee and a lunch then you
go for a lunch and a dinner then you go
for a dinner and a movie and then you
sleep over and then you sleep over two
nights and then you go on holiday
together and eventually you get married
right it’s slow it takes time and we
can’t rush it you know if when we rush
it it’s all fake
do things for others and watch watch how
much others do for you but you know go
you go get yourself a cup of coffee from
the coffee chute machine in the morning
make one for someone else it takes a
little extra time it takes a little
extra energy that’s the point that’s the
point and here’s the best part you will
feel so good at the end of the day so
good thank you very much
thank you next month is Bre Pettis who
is one of the founders of MakerBot he’s
going to be speaking a seriously excited
and the funny thing is I ran into him
about four weeks ago in a playground and
I saw him sitting there I’ve never met
him but I recognized him from videos
that have watched about MakerBot and
like while I’m chasing my kid is like
can I go up to him this is weird it’s a
stall key can I do this so eventually I
just go pull everything together went up
it was like you’re to make a buck guy
alright he goes yup and his wife looks
at me you’re Swiss Miss I recognize your
kids from Instagram so ever and the next
thing you know he’s speaking next month
how awesome is this and then for those
of you who’ve been here in November at
11 11 11 who has been at the rainbow
birthday parade well you should partake
next Saturday because jesse has another
rainbow birthday parade and she’s
actually trying to break a world record
and having the longest rainbow birthday
parade ever that watches over the
Brooklyn Bridge and there’s a ginormous
marching band gonna be here and Chris
who’s our audio/video guy he’s actually
in that band it’s called them uh now I’m
blanking on it
the hungry March band yes I can’t
believe I just blanked on it so if you
want to partake in this you should it’s
so much fun you need to dress in one
color we’re going to line up
monochromatic aliy rainbow style and
March so and you have to sign up at the
largest rainbow parade eventbrite.com
please come it’s super fun bring your
kids if you have kids that’s it see you
next month I hope thank you for coming
out and thank you again Simon
you
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