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Social Monogamy vs. Sexual Monogamy | StarTalk


we are not a naturally monogamous
species we are a pair bonding species
but there’s social monogamy which is the
parabot and their sexual monogamy which
is never touching anybody ever again
with your genitals and we are not never
flip that before no we need to split it
we all of these birds we used to look to
and think why can’t we be monogamous
like like the Eagles and yeah certain
geese and little birds that would mate
and it would make for life and would and
we would measure our failure as humans
to live up to the standards set by these
damn birds well along comes genetic
testing and we find out that these birds
are screwing around on each other
constantly that they are socially
monogamous pair bonded but they’re not
sexually monogamous no primates with
testicles our size are our monogamous
sexually monogamous women hidden menses
I’m not saying all this to say that
people shouldn’t go from monogamy if
monogamy is something they want I’m not
saying this to argue that people that
made a monogamous commitment have
license to violate that monogamous
commitment and of course that’s what
headlines would do when they hear a
phrase that comes out of your mouth and
they do that what I’m saying is we are
not naturally monogamous
it is a difficult struggle for us Chris
Ryan sex writer in his book sex it on
before you just know all these sex
writers well I do I read them all he
points out that you know all these
cultures you know the sky religions
death penalty for adultery well at the
same time we run around arguing that
monogamy comes naturally to us as a
species
well no other species has to be
threatened with death to do that which
comes naturally to it we don’t point
guns at dolphins and say swim right but
we point guns at each other and say
don’t cheat because monogamy comes
naturally to us and so I’m not my
argument then isn’t you shouldn’t have
it you shouldn’t do it my argument is we
should be a little compassionate
understanding by the fact that monogamy
is a struggle that a monogamous we said
we believe what we’re told as children
is one day you will grow up and fall in
love with someone and you will make a
monogamous commitment to them and that
means you’re in love with them and when
you’re in love you won’t want to have
sex with other people and the truth is
if you make a monogamous commitment to
someone you love you will still want to
have sex with other people you will
refrain from it it will be difficult and
so perhaps we need to look at people
who’ve been in 50-year marriages and
only cheated on each other once or two
and say they were good at monogamy not
bad at it good at it and give them some
credit for having done this thing that
was difficult in a natural as a token of
their love and affection and commitment
almost completely successfully 50 it’s
like somebody standing on one foot for
50 years that’s kind of amazing if they
touch the ground two or three times to
get their balance we wouldn’t go they
sucked at standing on their foot for 50
years on one foot
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