we’re built for struggle as human beings
you not after the bubbles of bliss that
Dostoyevsky described in in notes from
underground
we’re built to contend with the world
we’re built to contend with reality you
want a challenge and the best way that
you can take on a challenge because the
challenge fortifies you so you don’t
want to be secure you want to be strong
and you get strong by taking on optimal
challenges and so you lay out your
destiny in the world and you take the
slings and arrows of fate and you make
yourself stronger while you’re doing so
and you might fail and fortune might do
you in but it’s your best bet and you
know people have also people that have
extracted unbelievable successes out of
catastrophic failures and so and I’m not
saying that in a naive way I know
perfectly well what happens to people
you know you’re doing fine in life and
then you get cancer and then six months
later you’re dead and all the heroism in
the world isn’t going to save you at
that point but that’s not the point
that’s not the point life is bounded by
mortality but that doesn’t mean that you
don’t get out there and contend and you
develop by contending and you minimize
the net amount of suffering in the world
and that’s something man that’s
something to do you have to reverse
engineer who you’re trying to get to you
know if your sales person out there
right now if you’re trying to get to me
and so many of you are I get 50 70 bulk
emails bulk direct messages bulk Twitter
direct messages Instagram business cards
all sorts of weird stuff sent in the
mail I’m busy I’m busy and like I’m just
not interested in you selling to me not
because I don’t like you because I
respect the game it’s because I’m just
busy it’s nothing personal so I think
the first thing you have to do is
reverse engineer the person you know
because I’m not in the market to buy
anything I’m gonna be tougher but if I
need certain software if I need
something that’s a good time to attack
right so I think the number-one rule of
sales people is to listen know your
audience know what they did if you see
an M&A just happen if you see layoffs
just happening if you see one of their
come if I see Burger King doing
something I’m thinking what does
McDonald’s think of Russ I think a lot
of you are doing things that are
directly in front of you numbers that
they put in front of you you’re trying
to achieve that because you have a beach
house you want to buy
we’re going that vacation sales is a
funny game if you work in a big company
they manipulate numbers to create your
actions I believe that the best
salespeople are doing things in a
different way I think you need to care
about the customer for real
reverse-engineer them and give them what
they need the thing that I do at my
company that is very unusual is that we
are completely unreasonable without
reason without we don’t use yes I’m
logical okay yes I’m a sane person but
when it comes to achieving a target we
we do it with like we abandon reason and
logic we don’t talk about yeah but we
never start yeah but or no we can’t or
we couldn’t because or it didn’t happen
because any any time you’re talking
anytime you’re making sense of why
something didn’t work we don’t have the
budget we can’t do that because yeah but
we’re different you are being reasonable
the great things that have happened on
this planet and continue to happen or
because people are unreasonable
they literally abandon reason and logic
they defy the universe now if you look
around if you’re a logical person if
you’re a person has to make sense of it
beforehand then spend some time looking
around the universe look at nature look
at all the things that are done everyday
that literally defy gravity defy+ five
physics it’s all over the place if you
need to be reasonable now in my case I
don’t need to be reasonable because
there’s enough cases of super successful
people doing things that are amazing
whether it was a manufacturing a new
product or whether Steve Jobs coming
back to Apple and turn that company
around every day ever you look at the
Amazon
look what Amazon is done okay now you
look at it you’re like dude does a
no-brainer make it make all products
available online now it’s a no-brainer
now it’s like it’s so logical look at
Velcro velcro is like
I should have thought of that see but
beforehand it was completely out of
reason that you could stick things
together because they scratch one
another you understand what I’m saying
so look this is what I want you to try
try this in your life it’s gonna be very
difficult it’s one of the most difficult
things I do is being unreasonable
because all the people I’m surrounded by
or trying to make sense of why they
can’t do something quit making sense of
why you can’t do something and become
unreasonable until you do do something
true story
there was a former Undersecretary of
Defense who was invited to give a speech
at a large conference about a thousand
people and he was standing on the stage
with his cup of coffee in a Styrofoam
cup giving his prepared remarks with his
powerpoint behind him and he took a sip
of his coffee and he smiled and he
looked down at the Cuffy and then he
went off-script and he said you know
last year I spoke at this exact same
conference last year I was still the
undersecretary and when I spoke here
last year they flew me here business
class and when I arrived at the airport
there was somebody waiting for me to
take me to my hotel and they took me to
my hotel and they had already checked me
in and they just took me up to my room
and the next morning I came downstairs
and there was someone waiting in the
lobby to greet me and they drove me to
this here same venue they took me
through the back entrance and took me
into the green room and handed me a copy
cup of coffee in a beautiful ceramic cup
he says I’m no longer the undersecretary
a flew here coach I took a taxi to my
hotel and I checked myself in when I
came down the lobby this morning I took
another taxi to this venue I came in the
front door and found my way backstage
and when I asked someone do you have any
coffee he pointed to the coffee machine
in the corner and I poured myself a cup
of coffee into this here Styrofoam cup
he says the lesson is the ceramic cup
was never meant for me it was meant for
the position I held I deserve a
styrofoam cup remember this as you gain
fame as you gain fortune as you gain
position and seniority people will treat
you better they will hold doors open for
you they will get you a cup of tea and
coffee without you even asking they will
call you sir and ma’am and they will
give you stuff none of that stuff is
meant for you that stuff is meant for
the position you hold it is meant for
the level that you have achieved of
leader or success or whatever you want
to call it but you will always deserve a
Styrofoam cup remember that remember
that lesson of humility and gratitude
you can accept all the free stuff you
can accept all the perks absolutely you
can enjoy them but just be grateful for
them and know that they’re not for you I
remember getting off the Acela I took
the Acela from New York to Washington DC
and I got off the train like everybody
else and I was walking down the platform
like everyone else and I walked past
general norty Schwartz who used to be
the chief of staff of the United States
Air Force the head of the Air Force and
here I did you see a guy in a suit
slapping his own suitcase down the
platform just like me and just a couple
months ago he was flying on private jets
and a tan entourage and other people
carried his light luggage but he no
longer held the position and so now he
got to drag his own suitcase and never
did it sort of remind me more that none
of us deserve the perks that we get we
difference in the great coaches and the
average and ordinary coaches is the
ability to get momentum and to keep
momentum think about this folks
ayo Williams for 20 consecutive years
grew now during those 20 consecutive
years we changed companies five times I
had to terminate the number one producer
in our company on two different
occasions and it was almost impossible
to get terminated
you know from ayo Williams we had wars
with the regulator’s we were kicked out
of Mississippi for two weeks
Canada pass through where there was no
part-time recruits Texas limited the
number of recruits we could 350 a year
and with all of that al Williams grew
for 20 straight years now how do you
grow this is the difference in a pro a
real pro and an average and ordinary
coach there are three things you do now
to guarantee you keep momentum when you
get it going
number one you grow by multiplication
you’ve got to always be promoting people
the district leader to division leader
to RB P okay because once you get things
growing by multiplication then what you
have or you have hundreds then hundreds
or thousands of people that are doing
what you are trying to do okay
building friends praise and recognizing
people recruiting best friends does that
make sense and see once you have once
you’re growing by multiplication that’s
the greatest opportunity for you to keep
that momentum that you’ve kept okay that
makes sense all right number two the
second thing I mean keeping this
momentum once you have it is you’ve got
to have an enemy you’ve got to have some
kind of injustice out there you’re
trying to create you know you’ve got to
have an edge I don’t care if you in the
in the real estate business right if
somebody’s charging a charging a let’s
say a 10% commission on just raw land
that you sell out there then you do it
for eight and a half percent or
something right you’ve got to have an
edge over the enemy you’ve got to have
an enemy you’re trying to beat out there
right now we were fortunate to have the
worst enemy in the whole history of the
world right the trash value guys right
but but you’re selling a crusade there’s
nothing that energizes people and keep
that momentum going like a like a
crusade right you’re out there trying to
save the world you’re trying to make a
difference with your life right and then
the third thing is you have competition
competition inside the company I was a
master at promoting competition inside
the company right like Lawrence Walker
I’d get him taking on a dick Walker you
know down in Tampa Florida you know I
mean I was I had oh I had
gift of always egging people alone along
a little bit okay so if you want to if
you want to keep momentum once you get
it there are three keys you grow by
multiplication you keep recruiting this
folks for twenty years it’s present al
Williams the first thing I look for
every day on my desk
Cathy hearing my secretary the first
thing I did when I went in the office
before I talked to boo or anybody and
gotten and got in my million things I
needed to do okay the first thing I did
every morning was look at recruiting
numbers first thing I did every morning
the second thing I did was signed 200
gogo letters that’s the first thing I
did and got that out of the way first
thing every morning right and so you’ve
got to have a we’ll talk to you about
that in the morning to monitoring this
kind of stuff so when you know you can
tissa pate when you are slowing down
right when you’re you’re fixing hit a
brick wall down the road correct so if
you if you’re growing by multiplication
if you’ve got people out there
recruiting best friends you’re picking
up policies of best friends you know
making presentations to best friends
building friends were there recruits
praising recognizing people promoting
district managers promoting division
manager promoting our VPS and you’ve got
people you’re teaching people how to do
all these same kind of things to build
these powerful relationships right then
you’re guaranteed that you’re going to
keep that momentum going if you have an
enemy you’ve got to have an enemy you’ve
got to have something you get people
riled up about and then the third thing
is you create competition inside your
own organization or inside the company
I mean is the feeling that you’ve found
something you’re looking for or do you
accomplish something you set out to
accomplish
so you know that feeling you get when
you cross something off your to-do list
that’s dopamine feels awesome you know
when you when you have a goal to hit and
you achieve that goal you’re like yes
you feel like you’ve won something right
that’s dopamine the whole purpose of
dopamine is to make sure that we get
stuff done right
the historical reason for dopamine we
would never eat if we only waited to get
until we got hungry because there’s no
guarantee that we would find food
so dopamine exists to help us go looking
for food we get dopamine when we eat
which is one of the reasons we like
eating and so when you see something
that reminds you of something that feels
good we want to do the behavior that
helps us get that feeling right so let’s
say you’re out there going for a walk
and you see an apple tree in the
distance you get a small hit of dopamine
and then what it does is it focuses us
on our goals and now we start walking
towards the apple tree and has the apple
tree starts to get a little bigger we
feel like we’re making progress you get
another little shot of dopamine and
another little shadow dopamine until you
get to the Train you’re like yes okay
this is why we’re told you must write
down your goals your goals must be
tangible there’s a there’s a biological
reason for that we were very very
visually oriented animals you have to be
able to see the goal for it to
biologically stay focused right if you
don’t write down your goals if you can’t
see your goals it’s very hard to get
motivated to get inspired for example
think about corporate visions right a
corporate vision does have to be
something we can see right that’s why
it’s called a vision you can see it
right to be the biggest most respected
to be the fastest-growing are not
visions they’re nothing right what does
that even look like respected by whom
your mother yourself your friends your
shareholders who knows what’s the metric
dunno it’s Amorphis doesn’t motivate us
just like I can’t tell you you will get
a bonus if you achieve more you’re gonna
ask me how much more I’m gonna say more
doesn’t work you need a tangible goal
you need a tangible goal right here’s a
great vision Martin Luther King I have a
dream
that one day little black children the
little white children will play on the
playground together and hold hands
together we can imagine that we can set
our sights on that and every time we
achieve a goal and achieve a metric and
achieve a milestone that makes us feel
like we’re making progress to the
division we can see we keep going and
going and going until we achieve
something remarkable you have to be able
to see it dopamine
like I said dopamine is the feeling you
get when you set out to find something
you’re looking for as well I talked
about the to-do list I came home from a
trip just a couple days ago and I had a
bunch of errands to run and I wrote down
a little list of things I had to do and
off I went right and as I was walking
past I think was a drycleaners Irving
remember I was walking past something I
remembered who I have to do that and I
hadn’t written it down on my I hadn’t
written down on my to-do list so I went
in and I finished what I needed to do
and then when I came out I then wrote it
on my to-do list and then crossed it out
dopamine comes with a warning dopamine
is highly highly highly addictive here
are some other things that release
dopamine alcohol nicotine gambling your
cell phone
oh you think I’m joking okay we’ve all
been told that you know if you wake up
in the morning and you crave a drink you
might be an alcoholic well if you wake
up in the morning the first thing you do
is check your phone before you even get
out of bed might be an addict if you
walk from room to room in your own
you might be an addict when you’re
driving in your car and you get a text
and your phone goes beep we we hate
email true we love the beep the buzz the
ding oh right you’ll be there in 10
minutes
and yet you have to look at it right now
you might be an addict and even if you
read it and it says are you free for
dinner next Thursday and you have to
reply immediately you can’t wait the 10
minutes you might be an addict and for
all you Gen Y is out there who like to
think that you’re better at multitasking
beause you grew up with the technology
then why do you keep crashing your cars
when you’re texting you’re not you’re
not better at multitasking you’re better
getting distracted in fact if you look
at the statistics ad D and ADHD have
diagnosis of AD D and ADHD have risen
66% in the past 10 years ok
ad D and ADHD is a frontal lobe disorder
right are you telling me out of nowhere
66 percent of our youth has the frontal
lobe problem where did that come from no
it’s a misdiagnosis right what what are
the what are the symptoms of a dopamine
addiction to technology distractibility
inability to get things done easily
easily distracted you know shortness of
attention it’s all the same things so we
misdiagnosed things it’s this it’s the
addictive quality of dopamine we can
also get addicted to performance in our
companies when all they do is give us
numbers to hit numbers to hit numbers to
hit and a bonus you get and a bonus you
get and a bonus you get all they’re
doing is feeding us with dopamine and we
can’t help ourselves all we do is want
more more MORE it’s no surprise that the
bank’s destroyed the economy because one
of the things we know about dopamine
addict is they will do anything to get
another hit sometimes at the sacrifice
of their own resources and their
relationships ask any alcoholic gambling
addict or a drug addict
ask them how their relationships are
doing and if they’ve squandered any of
their resources it’s an addiction
dopamine is dangerous if it is
unbalanced it is hugely helpful when in
a comfortable and balanced system but
when unbalanced it’s dangerous and it’s
destructive
started with one employee his name was
crank Cardone I knew him and so I heard
him right he passed the drug test I
believed in him and for 15 years I was
one guy and then one day I woke up a guy
actually out of a mentor of mine said
look you can’t scale with just yourself
you got to start building a business
here you’re gonna have a real business
you need employees you need people you
need to be willing to hire people and
I’m like man man I’m scared they cost
money he’s like not making sales 1 2 3
or these empty desk okay that’s what’s
costing you money staying small is
costing you money all this cost money
I have failures here I have
disappointments I have discouragements I
have people that work here for a little
while and I quit but you’re not gonna
get big by yourself the system must be
simple you know what I was coaching
football I thought I was I was a
quarterback in high school a quarterback
in college and I was assistant coach for
two years down in Thomasville Georgia
when I got my first head coaching job I
had a playbook there was about you know
this thick man I had everything figured
out I was an offensive Wiz you know and
when I went to my first coaching job I
had this you know complicated playbook
you know and and all that kind of stuff
my I was a head coach for five years in
Georgia in my last year when we won the
championship my playbook was seven pages
thick the system’s got to be simple you
know it’s got to be simple you know I
used this example about the Prudential
rate book when we kicked their butt 1984
look at that red book it was one inch
thick they had dozens and dozens of
different kind of products this is a
always William’s great book one page we
had one product we had one product we
sold the consumer term insurance
we sold term insurance a hundred percent
of the dadgum time we sold everybody the
same dadgum product we owned on our own
dadgum life ain’t that to what kind of
ain’t that the way ain’t that the kind
of country you want to be part of you
know you might not like us you might not
come to work with
us you might not buy our dadgum products
but you never have to back in the door
when you when you belong to a Oh
Williams we do us right for the consumer
every time we say you what we own in our
own life every time it’s got to be
simple and the bigger you get the more
complicated your job gets you’ve got to
have the ability to keep it simple and
to spend you know I use this little
formula 90% of your time on the
important things and the important
things in our business are always the
people things and that’s what you do
when you’re starting out you’re dealing
with the people you’re recruiting people
you’re motivating people you’re building
friends with your people and then all of
a sudden you get into compliance and you
get into administration and your job
becomes more meetings and planning and
all this kind of crap you know and and
before you know what you’re spending ten
percent of your time on the important
stuff people in ninety percent of your
time on administrative paperwork all
this kind of crap that doesn’t make any
money you’ve got to constantly strive to
keep your business simple and to focus
and spend your time on the important
because you’ll never earn your way to
financial fortune even people that make
just loads of money the actors the
actresses the athletes where are they 10
and 15 years later I mean 50 cent made a
hundred million dollars on vitamin water
he got a tip and he got like a two or
three hundred million dollar net worth
and he’s bankrupt
he bought Mike Tyson’s house 25 thousand
square feet and Mike Tyson made a half a
billion dollars in went bankrupt right
now I don’t have you saw a Johnny Depp I
don’t know if it’s gonna happen up at
the papers are saying he may go bankrupt
he made three quarters of a billion
dollars as a movie star but he spent
$30,000 a month
unwind he must be feeling good and
secondly he took Hunter Thompson the
reporter he burned his body and paid
three million dollars to blow his ashes
into the sky in a cannon so know how
much money make you could screw it up
right but if you will just decide
there’s a percentage of my income that
no matter what I’m gonna have it
automated I’m not gonna see it it’s
gonna go straight to an investment
account and I don’t know if it’s 10 or
15 or 20 those numbers sound gigantic
the most people even if you start with
five and built that income does not go
to anybody else and then you put that
into compounding so listen to this
there’s a young man true story a
Theodore Johnson 1950s worked for ups
never made more than $14,000 in annual
income in his entire life retired with
seventy million dollars and he didn’t
you know he didn’t inherit a dime he
gave away thirty five million while he’s
alive now how is that possible because
of compound interest whenever interview
all these investors would say what’s the
biggest mistake Americans make he said
but they all said they don’t tap into
compound adjust they know intellectually
a little bit what it means but they
don’t do it they don’t do it
consistently so what is it they just
means that the profits you make could go
back into the and keep reinvesting and
it keeps growing but it grows
geometrically right and so a friend of
his came to this man who worked for ups
and said I’m gonna make you rich we’re
gonna put a 20% tax on you he said I
can’t give up 20% he kept on my bills if
I do that he said listen if the
government raise your taxes 20% and you
claim you’d scream you cry you complain
and you’d pay it and you get adjusted to
it but he said this like I’m the
government this is going into an account
for your future and
that compounding is what made him that
much money in the book I give you an
example of a an 18 year old boy whose
father convinces him that he should save
300 ollars a month out of his income
she’s not a huge income that sounds like
a lot but when you automate it you
forget about it’s perfect you just well
he does this from 18 years old to 27 for
8 years so the total amount of money
$300 a months about four thousand a year
that’s twenty eight thousand dollars
total he then puts he leaves into the
market and never adds a dime to it from
28 years old on at sixty-five because
the market over those thirty years grew
ten percent his money has compounded so
much he has 1.8 million dollars you
don’t need a lot of money to be wealthy
you need time you asked me to coach your
business I’m not gonna think about how
to hold on to what you did last year
that’s what most people right now are
thinking here in March in January you
were like just gonna be a great year by
March you’re like man I just want to do
what we did last year if we just you’re
starting to make sense you’re becoming
reasonable okay I’m telling you that
because this is what your people do –
okay your people the people that you
hire they make sense of how to make 48
grand a year and if you have people in
your company they’re trying to make
sense of how to make 48 grand a year you
got a company it’s gonna die toys-r-us
filed bankruptcy this week I Heart Radio
the biggest radio station in the world
Bob for bankruptcy this week there’s
going to be massive disruption in the
marketplace why because these companies
thought about they kept they kept having
trophies about what they had rather than
what would what they could get who’s got
money who’s qualified to buy how can I
get their attention how can I tell them
what I want from them okay how fast can
I get to the marketplace fast speed is
be an inspiration to many people who
struggle with life does he feel that
pressure yeah that’s an intense question
so he’s in eighth grade
eighth grade yeah asking existential
questions how people feel or respond to
me
I don’t think about that actively
because it’s not I don’t I’m not what I
don’t do what I do to have that effect
because that would imply that I wake up
in the morning and say how can I tell no
I’m a perfect day for me is when the
phone does not ring and when my inbox is
empty that’s a perfect day and I can
stay home play with the kids watch a
movie on the couch with popcorn with
slightly too much butter and just veg
but what happens is I get called I get
called by the press because the universe
flinched I get called by a school they
call by a city but by organizers of a
theory you know or lecture halls and
they want to learn about the universe
and in that capacity I’m a servant of
the public’s curiosity about the cosmos
and in in that way I’m not asking myself
how am i affecting you I’m simply
offering all that I can and all that I
know of this beautiful universe in which
we live and that’s
that’s what I do her parents were
looking for 40 grand it doesn’t pay for
anything today so you need to change the
way you think
how many of you were taught when you ate
when mama brought you a meal she said
this she brought you the meal threw it
on the plate and said eat it all how
many were told that you know what she
was trying to tell you don’t waste money
that’s what she was trying to say what
she was really saying is I don’t know
how to make more money she was really
saying there’s a shortage of money eat
it all there’s people in China starving
I’m gonna get that message every day how
many of you when you walked out of your
bedroom your mama said turn off those
lights what was she telling you I don’t
know how to get new money that’s what
she was telling you my dad died when I
was 10 my mom was left to bring up five
kids okay and those are the messages I
got every day the same message was this
contract get small back up protect
yourself I can’t win anything like this
I cannot succeed for my family like this
I do not want my kids to see me like
this
I want them I want my kids to see me on
attack right confidence in the
marketplace how do you get confidence
you read man you guys got to read okay
the app the average American reads less
than one book a year half those books
are romance novels now I don’t have my
books with me today but we I’ve written
four books since 2009 for this new
economy I wrote those books for me I
didn’t write them for other people I did
not write them to get known I wrote
those books because I was trying to
figure out how do I get myself out of
this problem the way I do branding I
sell so infrequently that I think some
of you that are watching me the hardest
core you need to hear this which is it’s
okay to sell especially if you believe
in something look if you believe in what
you’re selling and that’s what I’m
spending a lot of time on now trying to
spend more time
on really getting to a place where I
really believe in stuff instead of just
passive not creating so it wasn’t
selling because I didn’t believe you
know and just letting everything come to
me but as I create these you know events
Vayner experienced a lot of dents very
big on events events are so valuable
just watching the four DS crew value and
like how it’s impacting their business
for ten thousand dollars right there and
you see I know you get the emails the
wine club like $150 worth wine for fifty
five bucks like I’ve just locked in
November’s it’s gonna make all your
Thanksgivings ridiculous the conference
$500 two-hour session in my stomping
grounds good deal compared to like other
conferences that I speak at but you’re
giving the wine for free or you’re
getting the talk to freedom you’re
getting the wine so like I’m very
fascinated because I’m putting more
pressure on myself to create things that
I really believe in which then allows me
to sell more and I just think for a lot
of you selling the ask the right hook is
very difficult you’re passive you like
the idea of like feeling good about like
giving out content this and that your is
better how many of you agree with this
okay if you can live on 900 grand the
only people that won’t go to nine
million are the people that are selfish
unselfish people grow their businesses
selfish people don’t okay if you’re
taking notes if you’re gonna walk away
with something today I’m talking to the
able people here give me the name of a
great company that has seven employees
I’m waiting give me the name of a great
company that doesn’t spend a load of
money on advertising who is this company
tell me give me one name one name of any
company that’s great
see see you you built a business on a
fantasy right like I’m gonna get a stay
for I’m gonna get a stay for I’m gonna
get an all-state company imma imma be an
Allstate guy and I’m gonna make nine
hundred grand a year you’re selfish
folks see see what I’m saying about the
selfish person makes what they need the
unselfish person says I’m gonna make
more than I need primary motive as a
clinical psychologist and educator is to
help individuals live more meaningful
and productive lives in harmony with
their families and their community
that’s my motive and the evidence for
that I think is well if people go online
and first of all you could watch the
lectures and decide for yourself but you
can also go there’s I suspect probably
maybe two hundred and fifty thousand
people have commented on the lectures
and their effects on them and so that’s
what people say I’m watching the
lectures yeah I’m trying to develop a
vision for my life I’m trying to become
more responsible and its really helping
and that’s and that’s what I hear all
the time when I do these public lectures
which aren’t political but when we gain
success we raise the bar we set our
ambitions higher I mean what is your end
game what do you want that’s all that’s
what I want I want I want to help as
many individuals as possible become more
courageous more truthful and more
engaged in the pursuit of individual
familial and social harmony either
depression or despair and no direction
what I do is this
I show up I show up man
buddy mine told me when I was hit look
super low point in my life
he said hey man show up even if your
life’s if your eyes are bleeding and
you are unusually fearless and willing
to go in the face of other people
telling you something that’s crazy and I
know a lot of pretty crazy people you
still stand out where does that come
from or how do you think about making a
decision when everyone tells you this is
a crazy idea where do you get the
internal strength to do that I will
first of all I’d say I actually think I
feel fair quite strongly so it’s not as
though I just have the absence of fear
I’ve I feel it quite strongly but there
are times when if something is important
enough that you’ve leave it enough that
you do you do it in spite of fear so
speaking of important things like people
shouldn’t think I I should think well I
feel fear about this and therefore I
should do it it’s normal to be to feel
fair like you’d have to definitely
something mentally wrong you shouldn’t
feel fair so you just feel it and let
the importance of it drive you to do it
anyway yeah you know actually we’re
something that can be helpful as
fatalism some degree if you just think
if you just accept the probabilities
then that diminishes fear so my starting
SpaceX I thought the odds of success
were less than 10%
and I just accepted that actually
probably I would just lose lose
everything but that maybe would make
some progress if we could just move the
ball forward even if we died maybe some
other company could pick up the baton
and move and keep moving it forward so
that was still do some good yeah same
with Tesla I thought the odds of a car
company succeeding were extremely low
but brilliant leader by the name of
David mark hey who wrote a book called
turn the ship around and he had an
experience as a submarine captain on the
USS Santa Fe where he realized that as
much as he knew about submarining
you know he’d been a submarine or his
whole career that put on this new
submarine he learned the hard way they
actually didn’t know how the submarine
work he made an order that nobody knew
how to do it because there was that
didn’t exist on that cell and so he
realized he had no choice but to trust
his people and he went through this
transformation as a leader of telling
everybody what to do to allowing people
to tell him what should be done and I’ve
learned a lot from him and I highly
recommend his book and and I’ve really
learned that which is you know at the
top of the organization as David says
the people have all the authority the
leaders have all the authority but at
the bottom they have all the context
right and so you can’t just push all the
context up you have to push the
authority down and so the
responsibilities of leadership is to
train people make sure that they have
the skillset help build their confidence
that they have the confidence to do what
needs to be done they have to have
competence and confidence and that’s
that’s your job that’s the only job of
the leader makes it’s like like a parent
make sure they have competence and
confidence you know make sure your kids
get schooling and make sure that they
believe in themselves and then leave
them you know and so I’ve done the same
thing instead of sort of showing people
how I would do it I want them to learn
how it’s done you know and feel good
about themselves and then just however
they do it is how they do it yeah you
know and the result is remarkable and
people feel better about coming to work
they feel like they have something to
contribute they feel more valuable as
opposed to just being told this is how I
would do it or I’m going to do
this way or do it my way so yeah
completely changing my understanding of
my job as more like a parent than a
that your real work is to figure out
where your power base is and to work on
the alignment of your personality your
gifts that you have to give with the
real reason why you’re here that’s
that’s the number one thing you have to
do is to work on yourself and to fill
your self up and keep your cup full keep
yourself full now I used to be afraid of
that I used to be afraid particularly
from people who say L oh she said she’s
something like them she’s so close or so
and now I embrace it I I considered a
compliment that I am full of myself
because you only when you’re full I’m
full I’m overflowing my cup runneth over
I have so much I have so much to offer
and so much to give and I am not afraid
of honoring myself you know it’s miraculous when you think about it
you not after the bubbles of bliss that
Dostoyevsky described in in notes from
underground
we’re built to contend with the world
we’re built to contend with reality you
want a challenge and the best way that
you can take on a challenge because the
challenge fortifies you so you don’t
want to be secure you want to be strong
and you get strong by taking on optimal
challenges and so you lay out your
destiny in the world and you take the
slings and arrows of fate and you make
yourself stronger while you’re doing so
and you might fail and fortune might do
you in but it’s your best bet and you
know people have also people that have
extracted unbelievable successes out of
catastrophic failures and so and I’m not
saying that in a naive way I know
perfectly well what happens to people
you know you’re doing fine in life and
then you get cancer and then six months
later you’re dead and all the heroism in
the world isn’t going to save you at
that point but that’s not the point
that’s not the point life is bounded by
mortality but that doesn’t mean that you
don’t get out there and contend and you
develop by contending and you minimize
the net amount of suffering in the world
and that’s something man that’s
something to do you have to reverse
engineer who you’re trying to get to you
know if your sales person out there
right now if you’re trying to get to me
and so many of you are I get 50 70 bulk
emails bulk direct messages bulk Twitter
direct messages Instagram business cards
all sorts of weird stuff sent in the
mail I’m busy I’m busy and like I’m just
not interested in you selling to me not
because I don’t like you because I
respect the game it’s because I’m just
busy it’s nothing personal so I think
the first thing you have to do is
reverse engineer the person you know
because I’m not in the market to buy
anything I’m gonna be tougher but if I
need certain software if I need
something that’s a good time to attack
right so I think the number-one rule of
sales people is to listen know your
audience know what they did if you see
an M&A just happen if you see layoffs
just happening if you see one of their
come if I see Burger King doing
something I’m thinking what does
McDonald’s think of Russ I think a lot
of you are doing things that are
directly in front of you numbers that
they put in front of you you’re trying
to achieve that because you have a beach
house you want to buy
we’re going that vacation sales is a
funny game if you work in a big company
they manipulate numbers to create your
actions I believe that the best
salespeople are doing things in a
different way I think you need to care
about the customer for real
reverse-engineer them and give them what
they need the thing that I do at my
company that is very unusual is that we
are completely unreasonable without
reason without we don’t use yes I’m
logical okay yes I’m a sane person but
when it comes to achieving a target we
we do it with like we abandon reason and
logic we don’t talk about yeah but we
never start yeah but or no we can’t or
we couldn’t because or it didn’t happen
because any any time you’re talking
anytime you’re making sense of why
something didn’t work we don’t have the
budget we can’t do that because yeah but
we’re different you are being reasonable
the great things that have happened on
this planet and continue to happen or
because people are unreasonable
they literally abandon reason and logic
they defy the universe now if you look
around if you’re a logical person if
you’re a person has to make sense of it
beforehand then spend some time looking
around the universe look at nature look
at all the things that are done everyday
that literally defy gravity defy+ five
physics it’s all over the place if you
need to be reasonable now in my case I
don’t need to be reasonable because
there’s enough cases of super successful
people doing things that are amazing
whether it was a manufacturing a new
product or whether Steve Jobs coming
back to Apple and turn that company
around every day ever you look at the
Amazon
look what Amazon is done okay now you
look at it you’re like dude does a
no-brainer make it make all products
available online now it’s a no-brainer
now it’s like it’s so logical look at
Velcro velcro is like
I should have thought of that see but
beforehand it was completely out of
reason that you could stick things
together because they scratch one
another you understand what I’m saying
so look this is what I want you to try
try this in your life it’s gonna be very
difficult it’s one of the most difficult
things I do is being unreasonable
because all the people I’m surrounded by
or trying to make sense of why they
can’t do something quit making sense of
why you can’t do something and become
unreasonable until you do do something
true story
there was a former Undersecretary of
Defense who was invited to give a speech
at a large conference about a thousand
people and he was standing on the stage
with his cup of coffee in a Styrofoam
cup giving his prepared remarks with his
powerpoint behind him and he took a sip
of his coffee and he smiled and he
looked down at the Cuffy and then he
went off-script and he said you know
last year I spoke at this exact same
conference last year I was still the
undersecretary and when I spoke here
last year they flew me here business
class and when I arrived at the airport
there was somebody waiting for me to
take me to my hotel and they took me to
my hotel and they had already checked me
in and they just took me up to my room
and the next morning I came downstairs
and there was someone waiting in the
lobby to greet me and they drove me to
this here same venue they took me
through the back entrance and took me
into the green room and handed me a copy
cup of coffee in a beautiful ceramic cup
he says I’m no longer the undersecretary
a flew here coach I took a taxi to my
hotel and I checked myself in when I
came down the lobby this morning I took
another taxi to this venue I came in the
front door and found my way backstage
and when I asked someone do you have any
coffee he pointed to the coffee machine
in the corner and I poured myself a cup
of coffee into this here Styrofoam cup
he says the lesson is the ceramic cup
was never meant for me it was meant for
the position I held I deserve a
styrofoam cup remember this as you gain
fame as you gain fortune as you gain
position and seniority people will treat
you better they will hold doors open for
you they will get you a cup of tea and
coffee without you even asking they will
call you sir and ma’am and they will
give you stuff none of that stuff is
meant for you that stuff is meant for
the position you hold it is meant for
the level that you have achieved of
leader or success or whatever you want
to call it but you will always deserve a
Styrofoam cup remember that remember
that lesson of humility and gratitude
you can accept all the free stuff you
can accept all the perks absolutely you
can enjoy them but just be grateful for
them and know that they’re not for you I
remember getting off the Acela I took
the Acela from New York to Washington DC
and I got off the train like everybody
else and I was walking down the platform
like everyone else and I walked past
general norty Schwartz who used to be
the chief of staff of the United States
Air Force the head of the Air Force and
here I did you see a guy in a suit
slapping his own suitcase down the
platform just like me and just a couple
months ago he was flying on private jets
and a tan entourage and other people
carried his light luggage but he no
longer held the position and so now he
got to drag his own suitcase and never
did it sort of remind me more that none
of us deserve the perks that we get we
difference in the great coaches and the
average and ordinary coaches is the
ability to get momentum and to keep
momentum think about this folks
ayo Williams for 20 consecutive years
grew now during those 20 consecutive
years we changed companies five times I
had to terminate the number one producer
in our company on two different
occasions and it was almost impossible
to get terminated
you know from ayo Williams we had wars
with the regulator’s we were kicked out
of Mississippi for two weeks
Canada pass through where there was no
part-time recruits Texas limited the
number of recruits we could 350 a year
and with all of that al Williams grew
for 20 straight years now how do you
grow this is the difference in a pro a
real pro and an average and ordinary
coach there are three things you do now
to guarantee you keep momentum when you
get it going
number one you grow by multiplication
you’ve got to always be promoting people
the district leader to division leader
to RB P okay because once you get things
growing by multiplication then what you
have or you have hundreds then hundreds
or thousands of people that are doing
what you are trying to do okay
building friends praise and recognizing
people recruiting best friends does that
make sense and see once you have once
you’re growing by multiplication that’s
the greatest opportunity for you to keep
that momentum that you’ve kept okay that
makes sense all right number two the
second thing I mean keeping this
momentum once you have it is you’ve got
to have an enemy you’ve got to have some
kind of injustice out there you’re
trying to create you know you’ve got to
have an edge I don’t care if you in the
in the real estate business right if
somebody’s charging a charging a let’s
say a 10% commission on just raw land
that you sell out there then you do it
for eight and a half percent or
something right you’ve got to have an
edge over the enemy you’ve got to have
an enemy you’re trying to beat out there
right now we were fortunate to have the
worst enemy in the whole history of the
world right the trash value guys right
but but you’re selling a crusade there’s
nothing that energizes people and keep
that momentum going like a like a
crusade right you’re out there trying to
save the world you’re trying to make a
difference with your life right and then
the third thing is you have competition
competition inside the company I was a
master at promoting competition inside
the company right like Lawrence Walker
I’d get him taking on a dick Walker you
know down in Tampa Florida you know I
mean I was I had oh I had
gift of always egging people alone along
a little bit okay so if you want to if
you want to keep momentum once you get
it there are three keys you grow by
multiplication you keep recruiting this
folks for twenty years it’s present al
Williams the first thing I look for
every day on my desk
Cathy hearing my secretary the first
thing I did when I went in the office
before I talked to boo or anybody and
gotten and got in my million things I
needed to do okay the first thing I did
every morning was look at recruiting
numbers first thing I did every morning
the second thing I did was signed 200
gogo letters that’s the first thing I
did and got that out of the way first
thing every morning right and so you’ve
got to have a we’ll talk to you about
that in the morning to monitoring this
kind of stuff so when you know you can
tissa pate when you are slowing down
right when you’re you’re fixing hit a
brick wall down the road correct so if
you if you’re growing by multiplication
if you’ve got people out there
recruiting best friends you’re picking
up policies of best friends you know
making presentations to best friends
building friends were there recruits
praising recognizing people promoting
district managers promoting division
manager promoting our VPS and you’ve got
people you’re teaching people how to do
all these same kind of things to build
these powerful relationships right then
you’re guaranteed that you’re going to
keep that momentum going if you have an
enemy you’ve got to have an enemy you’ve
got to have something you get people
riled up about and then the third thing
is you create competition inside your
own organization or inside the company
I mean is the feeling that you’ve found
something you’re looking for or do you
accomplish something you set out to
accomplish
so you know that feeling you get when
you cross something off your to-do list
that’s dopamine feels awesome you know
when you when you have a goal to hit and
you achieve that goal you’re like yes
you feel like you’ve won something right
that’s dopamine the whole purpose of
dopamine is to make sure that we get
stuff done right
the historical reason for dopamine we
would never eat if we only waited to get
until we got hungry because there’s no
guarantee that we would find food
so dopamine exists to help us go looking
for food we get dopamine when we eat
which is one of the reasons we like
eating and so when you see something
that reminds you of something that feels
good we want to do the behavior that
helps us get that feeling right so let’s
say you’re out there going for a walk
and you see an apple tree in the
distance you get a small hit of dopamine
and then what it does is it focuses us
on our goals and now we start walking
towards the apple tree and has the apple
tree starts to get a little bigger we
feel like we’re making progress you get
another little shot of dopamine and
another little shadow dopamine until you
get to the Train you’re like yes okay
this is why we’re told you must write
down your goals your goals must be
tangible there’s a there’s a biological
reason for that we were very very
visually oriented animals you have to be
able to see the goal for it to
biologically stay focused right if you
don’t write down your goals if you can’t
see your goals it’s very hard to get
motivated to get inspired for example
think about corporate visions right a
corporate vision does have to be
something we can see right that’s why
it’s called a vision you can see it
right to be the biggest most respected
to be the fastest-growing are not
visions they’re nothing right what does
that even look like respected by whom
your mother yourself your friends your
shareholders who knows what’s the metric
dunno it’s Amorphis doesn’t motivate us
just like I can’t tell you you will get
a bonus if you achieve more you’re gonna
ask me how much more I’m gonna say more
doesn’t work you need a tangible goal
you need a tangible goal right here’s a
great vision Martin Luther King I have a
dream
that one day little black children the
little white children will play on the
playground together and hold hands
together we can imagine that we can set
our sights on that and every time we
achieve a goal and achieve a metric and
achieve a milestone that makes us feel
like we’re making progress to the
division we can see we keep going and
going and going until we achieve
something remarkable you have to be able
to see it dopamine
like I said dopamine is the feeling you
get when you set out to find something
you’re looking for as well I talked
about the to-do list I came home from a
trip just a couple days ago and I had a
bunch of errands to run and I wrote down
a little list of things I had to do and
off I went right and as I was walking
past I think was a drycleaners Irving
remember I was walking past something I
remembered who I have to do that and I
hadn’t written it down on my I hadn’t
written down on my to-do list so I went
in and I finished what I needed to do
and then when I came out I then wrote it
on my to-do list and then crossed it out
dopamine comes with a warning dopamine
is highly highly highly addictive here
are some other things that release
dopamine alcohol nicotine gambling your
cell phone
oh you think I’m joking okay we’ve all
been told that you know if you wake up
in the morning and you crave a drink you
might be an alcoholic well if you wake
up in the morning the first thing you do
is check your phone before you even get
out of bed might be an addict if you
walk from room to room in your own
you might be an addict when you’re
driving in your car and you get a text
and your phone goes beep we we hate
email true we love the beep the buzz the
ding oh right you’ll be there in 10
minutes
and yet you have to look at it right now
you might be an addict and even if you
read it and it says are you free for
dinner next Thursday and you have to
reply immediately you can’t wait the 10
minutes you might be an addict and for
all you Gen Y is out there who like to
think that you’re better at multitasking
beause you grew up with the technology
then why do you keep crashing your cars
when you’re texting you’re not you’re
not better at multitasking you’re better
getting distracted in fact if you look
at the statistics ad D and ADHD have
diagnosis of AD D and ADHD have risen
66% in the past 10 years ok
ad D and ADHD is a frontal lobe disorder
right are you telling me out of nowhere
66 percent of our youth has the frontal
lobe problem where did that come from no
it’s a misdiagnosis right what what are
the what are the symptoms of a dopamine
addiction to technology distractibility
inability to get things done easily
easily distracted you know shortness of
attention it’s all the same things so we
misdiagnosed things it’s this it’s the
addictive quality of dopamine we can
also get addicted to performance in our
companies when all they do is give us
numbers to hit numbers to hit numbers to
hit and a bonus you get and a bonus you
get and a bonus you get all they’re
doing is feeding us with dopamine and we
can’t help ourselves all we do is want
more more MORE it’s no surprise that the
bank’s destroyed the economy because one
of the things we know about dopamine
addict is they will do anything to get
another hit sometimes at the sacrifice
of their own resources and their
relationships ask any alcoholic gambling
addict or a drug addict
ask them how their relationships are
doing and if they’ve squandered any of
their resources it’s an addiction
dopamine is dangerous if it is
unbalanced it is hugely helpful when in
a comfortable and balanced system but
when unbalanced it’s dangerous and it’s
destructive
started with one employee his name was
crank Cardone I knew him and so I heard
him right he passed the drug test I
believed in him and for 15 years I was
one guy and then one day I woke up a guy
actually out of a mentor of mine said
look you can’t scale with just yourself
you got to start building a business
here you’re gonna have a real business
you need employees you need people you
need to be willing to hire people and
I’m like man man I’m scared they cost
money he’s like not making sales 1 2 3
or these empty desk okay that’s what’s
costing you money staying small is
costing you money all this cost money
I have failures here I have
disappointments I have discouragements I
have people that work here for a little
while and I quit but you’re not gonna
get big by yourself the system must be
simple you know what I was coaching
football I thought I was I was a
quarterback in high school a quarterback
in college and I was assistant coach for
two years down in Thomasville Georgia
when I got my first head coaching job I
had a playbook there was about you know
this thick man I had everything figured
out I was an offensive Wiz you know and
when I went to my first coaching job I
had this you know complicated playbook
you know and and all that kind of stuff
my I was a head coach for five years in
Georgia in my last year when we won the
championship my playbook was seven pages
thick the system’s got to be simple you
know it’s got to be simple you know I
used this example about the Prudential
rate book when we kicked their butt 1984
look at that red book it was one inch
thick they had dozens and dozens of
different kind of products this is a
always William’s great book one page we
had one product we had one product we
sold the consumer term insurance
we sold term insurance a hundred percent
of the dadgum time we sold everybody the
same dadgum product we owned on our own
dadgum life ain’t that to what kind of
ain’t that the way ain’t that the kind
of country you want to be part of you
know you might not like us you might not
come to work with
us you might not buy our dadgum products
but you never have to back in the door
when you when you belong to a Oh
Williams we do us right for the consumer
every time we say you what we own in our
own life every time it’s got to be
simple and the bigger you get the more
complicated your job gets you’ve got to
have the ability to keep it simple and
to spend you know I use this little
formula 90% of your time on the
important things and the important
things in our business are always the
people things and that’s what you do
when you’re starting out you’re dealing
with the people you’re recruiting people
you’re motivating people you’re building
friends with your people and then all of
a sudden you get into compliance and you
get into administration and your job
becomes more meetings and planning and
all this kind of crap you know and and
before you know what you’re spending ten
percent of your time on the important
stuff people in ninety percent of your
time on administrative paperwork all
this kind of crap that doesn’t make any
money you’ve got to constantly strive to
keep your business simple and to focus
and spend your time on the important
because you’ll never earn your way to
financial fortune even people that make
just loads of money the actors the
actresses the athletes where are they 10
and 15 years later I mean 50 cent made a
hundred million dollars on vitamin water
he got a tip and he got like a two or
three hundred million dollar net worth
and he’s bankrupt
he bought Mike Tyson’s house 25 thousand
square feet and Mike Tyson made a half a
billion dollars in went bankrupt right
now I don’t have you saw a Johnny Depp I
don’t know if it’s gonna happen up at
the papers are saying he may go bankrupt
he made three quarters of a billion
dollars as a movie star but he spent
$30,000 a month
unwind he must be feeling good and
secondly he took Hunter Thompson the
reporter he burned his body and paid
three million dollars to blow his ashes
into the sky in a cannon so know how
much money make you could screw it up
right but if you will just decide
there’s a percentage of my income that
no matter what I’m gonna have it
automated I’m not gonna see it it’s
gonna go straight to an investment
account and I don’t know if it’s 10 or
15 or 20 those numbers sound gigantic
the most people even if you start with
five and built that income does not go
to anybody else and then you put that
into compounding so listen to this
there’s a young man true story a
Theodore Johnson 1950s worked for ups
never made more than $14,000 in annual
income in his entire life retired with
seventy million dollars and he didn’t
you know he didn’t inherit a dime he
gave away thirty five million while he’s
alive now how is that possible because
of compound interest whenever interview
all these investors would say what’s the
biggest mistake Americans make he said
but they all said they don’t tap into
compound adjust they know intellectually
a little bit what it means but they
don’t do it they don’t do it
consistently so what is it they just
means that the profits you make could go
back into the and keep reinvesting and
it keeps growing but it grows
geometrically right and so a friend of
his came to this man who worked for ups
and said I’m gonna make you rich we’re
gonna put a 20% tax on you he said I
can’t give up 20% he kept on my bills if
I do that he said listen if the
government raise your taxes 20% and you
claim you’d scream you cry you complain
and you’d pay it and you get adjusted to
it but he said this like I’m the
government this is going into an account
for your future and
that compounding is what made him that
much money in the book I give you an
example of a an 18 year old boy whose
father convinces him that he should save
300 ollars a month out of his income
she’s not a huge income that sounds like
a lot but when you automate it you
forget about it’s perfect you just well
he does this from 18 years old to 27 for
8 years so the total amount of money
$300 a months about four thousand a year
that’s twenty eight thousand dollars
total he then puts he leaves into the
market and never adds a dime to it from
28 years old on at sixty-five because
the market over those thirty years grew
ten percent his money has compounded so
much he has 1.8 million dollars you
don’t need a lot of money to be wealthy
you need time you asked me to coach your
business I’m not gonna think about how
to hold on to what you did last year
that’s what most people right now are
thinking here in March in January you
were like just gonna be a great year by
March you’re like man I just want to do
what we did last year if we just you’re
starting to make sense you’re becoming
reasonable okay I’m telling you that
because this is what your people do –
okay your people the people that you
hire they make sense of how to make 48
grand a year and if you have people in
your company they’re trying to make
sense of how to make 48 grand a year you
got a company it’s gonna die toys-r-us
filed bankruptcy this week I Heart Radio
the biggest radio station in the world
Bob for bankruptcy this week there’s
going to be massive disruption in the
marketplace why because these companies
thought about they kept they kept having
trophies about what they had rather than
what would what they could get who’s got
money who’s qualified to buy how can I
get their attention how can I tell them
what I want from them okay how fast can
I get to the marketplace fast speed is
be an inspiration to many people who
struggle with life does he feel that
pressure yeah that’s an intense question
so he’s in eighth grade
eighth grade yeah asking existential
questions how people feel or respond to
me
I don’t think about that actively
because it’s not I don’t I’m not what I
don’t do what I do to have that effect
because that would imply that I wake up
in the morning and say how can I tell no
I’m a perfect day for me is when the
phone does not ring and when my inbox is
empty that’s a perfect day and I can
stay home play with the kids watch a
movie on the couch with popcorn with
slightly too much butter and just veg
but what happens is I get called I get
called by the press because the universe
flinched I get called by a school they
call by a city but by organizers of a
theory you know or lecture halls and
they want to learn about the universe
and in that capacity I’m a servant of
the public’s curiosity about the cosmos
and in in that way I’m not asking myself
how am i affecting you I’m simply
offering all that I can and all that I
know of this beautiful universe in which
we live and that’s
that’s what I do her parents were
looking for 40 grand it doesn’t pay for
anything today so you need to change the
way you think
how many of you were taught when you ate
when mama brought you a meal she said
this she brought you the meal threw it
on the plate and said eat it all how
many were told that you know what she
was trying to tell you don’t waste money
that’s what she was trying to say what
she was really saying is I don’t know
how to make more money she was really
saying there’s a shortage of money eat
it all there’s people in China starving
I’m gonna get that message every day how
many of you when you walked out of your
bedroom your mama said turn off those
lights what was she telling you I don’t
know how to get new money that’s what
she was telling you my dad died when I
was 10 my mom was left to bring up five
kids okay and those are the messages I
got every day the same message was this
contract get small back up protect
yourself I can’t win anything like this
I cannot succeed for my family like this
I do not want my kids to see me like
this
I want them I want my kids to see me on
attack right confidence in the
marketplace how do you get confidence
you read man you guys got to read okay
the app the average American reads less
than one book a year half those books
are romance novels now I don’t have my
books with me today but we I’ve written
four books since 2009 for this new
economy I wrote those books for me I
didn’t write them for other people I did
not write them to get known I wrote
those books because I was trying to
figure out how do I get myself out of
this problem the way I do branding I
sell so infrequently that I think some
of you that are watching me the hardest
core you need to hear this which is it’s
okay to sell especially if you believe
in something look if you believe in what
you’re selling and that’s what I’m
spending a lot of time on now trying to
spend more time
on really getting to a place where I
really believe in stuff instead of just
passive not creating so it wasn’t
selling because I didn’t believe you
know and just letting everything come to
me but as I create these you know events
Vayner experienced a lot of dents very
big on events events are so valuable
just watching the four DS crew value and
like how it’s impacting their business
for ten thousand dollars right there and
you see I know you get the emails the
wine club like $150 worth wine for fifty
five bucks like I’ve just locked in
November’s it’s gonna make all your
Thanksgivings ridiculous the conference
$500 two-hour session in my stomping
grounds good deal compared to like other
conferences that I speak at but you’re
giving the wine for free or you’re
getting the talk to freedom you’re
getting the wine so like I’m very
fascinated because I’m putting more
pressure on myself to create things that
I really believe in which then allows me
to sell more and I just think for a lot
of you selling the ask the right hook is
very difficult you’re passive you like
the idea of like feeling good about like
giving out content this and that your is
better how many of you agree with this
okay if you can live on 900 grand the
only people that won’t go to nine
million are the people that are selfish
unselfish people grow their businesses
selfish people don’t okay if you’re
taking notes if you’re gonna walk away
with something today I’m talking to the
able people here give me the name of a
great company that has seven employees
I’m waiting give me the name of a great
company that doesn’t spend a load of
money on advertising who is this company
tell me give me one name one name of any
company that’s great
see see you you built a business on a
fantasy right like I’m gonna get a stay
for I’m gonna get a stay for I’m gonna
get an all-state company imma imma be an
Allstate guy and I’m gonna make nine
hundred grand a year you’re selfish
folks see see what I’m saying about the
selfish person makes what they need the
unselfish person says I’m gonna make
more than I need primary motive as a
clinical psychologist and educator is to
help individuals live more meaningful
and productive lives in harmony with
their families and their community
that’s my motive and the evidence for
that I think is well if people go online
and first of all you could watch the
lectures and decide for yourself but you
can also go there’s I suspect probably
maybe two hundred and fifty thousand
people have commented on the lectures
and their effects on them and so that’s
what people say I’m watching the
lectures yeah I’m trying to develop a
vision for my life I’m trying to become
more responsible and its really helping
and that’s and that’s what I hear all
the time when I do these public lectures
which aren’t political but when we gain
success we raise the bar we set our
ambitions higher I mean what is your end
game what do you want that’s all that’s
what I want I want I want to help as
many individuals as possible become more
courageous more truthful and more
engaged in the pursuit of individual
familial and social harmony either
depression or despair and no direction
what I do is this
I show up I show up man
buddy mine told me when I was hit look
super low point in my life
he said hey man show up even if your
life’s if your eyes are bleeding and
you are unusually fearless and willing
to go in the face of other people
telling you something that’s crazy and I
know a lot of pretty crazy people you
still stand out where does that come
from or how do you think about making a
decision when everyone tells you this is
a crazy idea where do you get the
internal strength to do that I will
first of all I’d say I actually think I
feel fair quite strongly so it’s not as
though I just have the absence of fear
I’ve I feel it quite strongly but there
are times when if something is important
enough that you’ve leave it enough that
you do you do it in spite of fear so
speaking of important things like people
shouldn’t think I I should think well I
feel fear about this and therefore I
should do it it’s normal to be to feel
fair like you’d have to definitely
something mentally wrong you shouldn’t
feel fair so you just feel it and let
the importance of it drive you to do it
anyway yeah you know actually we’re
something that can be helpful as
fatalism some degree if you just think
if you just accept the probabilities
then that diminishes fear so my starting
SpaceX I thought the odds of success
were less than 10%
and I just accepted that actually
probably I would just lose lose
everything but that maybe would make
some progress if we could just move the
ball forward even if we died maybe some
other company could pick up the baton
and move and keep moving it forward so
that was still do some good yeah same
with Tesla I thought the odds of a car
company succeeding were extremely low
but brilliant leader by the name of
David mark hey who wrote a book called
turn the ship around and he had an
experience as a submarine captain on the
USS Santa Fe where he realized that as
much as he knew about submarining
you know he’d been a submarine or his
whole career that put on this new
submarine he learned the hard way they
actually didn’t know how the submarine
work he made an order that nobody knew
how to do it because there was that
didn’t exist on that cell and so he
realized he had no choice but to trust
his people and he went through this
transformation as a leader of telling
everybody what to do to allowing people
to tell him what should be done and I’ve
learned a lot from him and I highly
recommend his book and and I’ve really
learned that which is you know at the
top of the organization as David says
the people have all the authority the
leaders have all the authority but at
the bottom they have all the context
right and so you can’t just push all the
context up you have to push the
authority down and so the
responsibilities of leadership is to
train people make sure that they have
the skillset help build their confidence
that they have the confidence to do what
needs to be done they have to have
competence and confidence and that’s
that’s your job that’s the only job of
the leader makes it’s like like a parent
make sure they have competence and
confidence you know make sure your kids
get schooling and make sure that they
believe in themselves and then leave
them you know and so I’ve done the same
thing instead of sort of showing people
how I would do it I want them to learn
how it’s done you know and feel good
about themselves and then just however
they do it is how they do it yeah you
know and the result is remarkable and
people feel better about coming to work
they feel like they have something to
contribute they feel more valuable as
opposed to just being told this is how I
would do it or I’m going to do
this way or do it my way so yeah
completely changing my understanding of
my job as more like a parent than a
that your real work is to figure out
where your power base is and to work on
the alignment of your personality your
gifts that you have to give with the
real reason why you’re here that’s
that’s the number one thing you have to
do is to work on yourself and to fill
your self up and keep your cup full keep
yourself full now I used to be afraid of
that I used to be afraid particularly
from people who say L oh she said she’s
something like them she’s so close or so
and now I embrace it I I considered a
compliment that I am full of myself
because you only when you’re full I’m
full I’m overflowing my cup runneth over
I have so much I have so much to offer
and so much to give and I am not afraid
of honoring myself you know it’s miraculous when you think about it
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