people are always talk about visions and
missions and all of this stuff and when
people ask me like what example should I
look – like what company should I’m like
here’s an organization with a vision a
cause it was founded with a cause it’s
an entrepreneurial venture it’s America
is an experiment it’s an entrepreneurial
venture where a bunch of people got
together and decided we needed to start
our own country because there were
certain obstacles that were getting in
the way of a vision that we had of a
better kind of country but a kind of
company right and they stated it right
at the beginning all men are created
equal endowed with these unalienable
rights among amongst which include life
liberty and the pursuit of happiness and
it’s not a it’s not just a competitive
statement like to be the best to be the
most respected that’s not what it was
and I’m amazed how many companies start
their visions or missions with those
that terribly egocentric language it was
an ideal and the amazing thing is is
we’ve been good at it and bad at it in
our history but it’s endured for 240
plus years because we fundamentally
believe that we are at our best when
we’re pursuing that but it is an ideal
we will never actually achieve all
people are equal but we will die trying
and that’s the point and it’s the same
for a company which is true vision
inside a company is something that has
nothing to do with your product it is an
ideal to which you will attempt to build
an advance that ideal through your
company with your product you’ll never
achieve the ideal but you’ll die trying
and this is what gives our work meaning
this is what it gives our lives purpose
right the difference between a vision
and a goal is the finish line a goal is
26.2 miles
you can simply count the metrics and
know when you’ve completed your goal a
vision is having a crystal-clear sense
of what the finish line looks like but
no idea of how far away it is and it’s
and the reality is you’ll spend your
entire life never actually crossing the
finish line but the joy that every
marathon you complete you feel like
you’re getting closer every milestone
that you accomplish makes you feel like
you’re getting closer and closer to the
ideal and this is what gives our life in
our work meaning I met my best
and I’m around people who believe what I
believe I know it seems silly but I try
very very hard to sort of stack the deck
you know to put myself in a position of
strength so for example you know
somebody asked me just yesterday have
you ever had sort of a bad you know
engagement I was thinking myself I’m
like not really but it’s not because I’m
some sort of sort of genius are they
sending anything like that it’s because
I stack the deck it’s because I want to
be there I want to be around people who
want me there in other words if I’m
somebody’s tenth choice and like you
know I’ll probably turn it down whereas
if I’m their first choice they really
won’t be there and so I’m more likely to
have a good engagement they’re
supportive of me I’m supportive of them
and so yeah I’m at my best was like when
I stack the deck when I choose to be in
an environment where where my strengths
are are there I think successes is is
seeing those around you work to their
natural best and creating momentum for a
vision towards a vision that will last
beyond yourself so a guy is driving a
bus for 20 years got to retire
he’s on Madison Avenue in New York
packed every day is people getting on
that bus and getting off mm-hmm he has
two kids wife lives in Queens hmm he
might call himself successful another
guy might be vice president of that
company will call self unsuccessful so
his success what you make of it its
success is a feeling it’s not it’s not a
series of checkmarks and goals
I think people define success as as
finish lines you know they well I ran a
marathon I’m successful the question is
a why did you run the marathon and what
happens after you’ve completed the
marathon do you just keep running
marathons what happens if you break your
leg and you can no longer run marathons
you know we set a lot of people set
financial goals I’m successful when they
make my first million okay now I have to
make my second million its success is a
feeling and and it’s the feeling of
contribution so your bus driver in
Queens if he has decided that his job as
a bus driver is to ensure that everyone
who gets on his bus feels better about
themselves because they got on his bus
and not another bus and so he greets
them with a smile he says good morning
he says goodbye that people remember
that that
that that ride that they took with him
versus the this vice president of the
company who’s made it about himself and
his financial goals
he’s the one who’s unhappy as opposed to
seeing those around him succeed and
those around him go home with a love of
their their day you know because they
come to work in his company every day
so I still believe success and and good
leadership are about service to others
passion is not an actionable word it’s
correct you know that those who do the
things that they’re passionate about do
better but it’s not helpful advice and
so the question is where does passion
come from passion is a result passion is
an energy passion is the feeling you
have when you’re engaged in something
that you love passion is the feeling you
have that you would probably do this for
free
you know and you can’t believe somebody
pays you to do it you know and I think
we mistake that passion is something we
do in our private lives but it shouldn’t
be done you know in our careers for
example and I’m a firm believer that you
are who you are and anybody who says I’m
different at home than I am at work and
one of those two places you’re lying and
the goal is to make everything you do in
home and it works something that you
have excitement to do so how do you find
the things that you’re excited to do
well it’s actually easier than you think
what are the things that you love to do
what are the things that you would do
for free you know how can you recreate
that feeling and and be paid for it so
what are the things that I do on the
weekend right I love I’m very involved
in the art world I love to go to museums
and galleries but I love to go see dance
and performances because I want to see
how others are interpreting the world so
that inspires me new ideas new thoughts
new ways of looking at the world are
things that interest me privately and I
seek it out and pay money for it right
so does that mean I have to have a
career in the arts no it means I have to
have a career where new ideas are
explored where people are experimenting
and trying things out and I have to
explore new ideas and try things out and
I’m just as excited to go to work
everyday as I am just you know go do
something on a Saturday night
and so the idea of finding your passion
is ironically simple because you should
be doing stuff that you enjoy sometimes
what is the stuff that you enjoy and
then what is the stuff that you love who
the people you love and what are those
let me tell you a story so a friend of
mine and I we went for a run in Central
Park the Roadrunners organization on the
weekends they host races and it’s very
common at the end of the race they’ll
have a sponsor who will give away
something apples or bagels or something
and on this particular day when we got
to the end of the run there were some
free bagels and they had picnic tables
set up and on one side was a group of
volunteers on the table were boxes of
bagels and on the other side was a long
line of runners waiting to get their
free bagel so I said to my friend let’s
let’s get a bagel and he looked at me
and said that lines too long and I said
free bagel and he said I don’t want to
wait in line and I was like free bagel
and he says not that’s it’s too long and
that’s when I realized that there’s two
ways to see the world some people see
the thing that they want and some people
see the thing that prevents them from
getting the thing that they want I could
only see the bagels he could only see
the line and so I walked up to the line
I leaned in between two people put my
hand in the box and pulled out two
bagels and no one get mad at me because
the rule is you can go after whatever
you want
you just cannot deny anyone else to go
after whatever they want
now I had to sacrifice choice I didn’t
get to choose which bagel I got I got
whatever I pulled out but I didn’t have
to wait in line so the point is is you
don’t have to wait in line you don’t
have to do it the way everybody else has
done it you can do it your way you can
break the rules you just can’t get in
the way of somebody else getting what
they want that’s rule number one talk to
so many smart fantastic ambitious
idealistic hard-working kids and they’re
right out of college they’re in their
entry-level jobs and I’ll ask them how
is it going and they’ll say I think I’m
gonna quit and I’m like why they say to
me I’m not making an impact I’m like you
they treat the sense of fulfillment or
even love like it’s a scavenger hunt
like it’s something you look for my
millennial friends they’ve gone through
so many jobs they’re either getting
fired I mean it was mutual or they’re
quitting because they’re not making an
impact or they’re not finding the thing
they’re looking for they’re not feeling
fulfilled as if it’s a scavenger hunt
love a job you find joy from is not
something you discover it’s not like I
found love here it is I found a job I
love that’s not how it works both of
those things require hard work you are
in love because you work very hard every
single day of your life to stay in love
you find a job that brings you ultimate
joy because you work hard every single
day to serve those around you and you
maintain that joy it’s not a discovery
but the problem is the sense of
impatience it’s as if an entire
generation is standing at the foot of a
mountain they know exactly what they
want they can see the summit what they
can’t see is the mountain this large
amove Abul object that doesn’t mean you
have to do your time that’s not what I’m
talking about take a helicopter climb I
don’t care but there’s still a mountain
life career fulfillment relationships
our journeys the problem is this entire
generation has an institutionalized
sense of impatience and do they have the
patience to go on the journey to
maintain love to feel fulfilled or do
they just quit and on to the next dump
and on to the next ghost and on to the
next pressure whether it’s me or anybody
else is the same you know I have the
same pressures as anyone else there’s
time there’s performance there’s
financial I mean there
you know there’s deadlines my pressures
are not unique the situation’s may be
different or you know but but everybody
has the same kinds of pressures but what
I found or what I find fascinating is
the interpretation of the stimuli if let
me let me explain so I was watching the
Olympics this last Summer Olympics and I
was amazed at how bad the questions were
that the reporters would ask all the
athletes and almost always they asked
the same question whether they were
about to compete or after they competed
were you nervous right and to a tee all
the athletes went no right and what I
realized is it’s not that they’re not
nervous it’s their interpretation of
what’s happening in their bodies I mean
what it what happens when you’re nervous
right your heart rate starts to go
you’re you know you sort of get a little
tense you get a little sweaty right you
have expectation of what’s coming and we
interpreted that is I’m nervous now
what’s the interpretation of excited
your heart rate starts to go you become
you’re anticipating what’s coming right
you get a little sort of like tense it’s
all the same thing it’s the same stimuli
except these athletes these these
Olympic quality athletes have learned to
interpret the stimuli that the rest of
us would say is nervous as excited they
also the same thing no I’m not nervous
I’m excited and so I’ve actually
practiced it just to tell myself when I
start to get nervous that this is
excitement you know and so where when
you used to be speaking for the large
audience and somebody’d say how do you
feel I say a little nervous now when
somebody says how do you feel like
really excited actually
and it it came from just sort of telling
myself no no this is excitement and it
becomes a little bit automatic later on
but it’s kind of a remarkable thing to
deal with pressure by interpreting what
your body is experiencing as excitement
rather than nerves and it’s really kind
of effective it makes you want to rush
for is rather than pull back and yet
it’s the same experience
in the 18th century there was something
that spread across Europe and eventually
made its way to America where pole fever
also known as the Black Death of child
bed basically what was happening is
women were giving birth and they would
die within 48 hours after giving birth
this black death of childbirth was the
ravage of Europe and it got worse and
worse and worse over the course of over
a century in some hospitals it was as
high as 70% of women who gave birth who
would die as a result of giving birth
but this was the Renaissance this was
the time of empirical data and science
and we had thrown away things like
tradition and mysticism these were men
of science these were doctors and these
doctors and men of science wanted to
study and try and find the reason for
this black death of child bed and so
they got to work studying and they would
study the corpses of the of the women
who had died and in the morning they
would conduct autopsies and then in the
afternoon they would go and deliver
babies and finish their rounds and it
wasn’t until somewhere in the mid 1800s
that dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes father of
Supreme Court justice Oliver Wendell
Holmes realized that all of these
doctors who conducting autopsies in the
morning weren’t washing their hands
before they delivered babies in the
afternoon and he pointed it out and said
guys you’re the problem and they ignored
him and called him crazy for 30 years
until finally somebody realized that if
they simply washed their hands it would
go away and that’s exactly what happened
when they started sterilizing their
instruments and washing their hands the
black death of childbed disappeared my
point is the lesson here is sometimes
you’re the problem
we’ve seen this happen all too recently
with our new men of science and
empirical studies and these men of
Finance who are smarter than the rest of
us until the thing collapsed and they
blamed everything else except themselves
and my point is is take accountability
for your actions you can take all the
credit in the world for the things that
you do right as long as you also take
responsibility for the things you do
wrong it must be a balanced equation you
don’t get it one way and not the other
you get to take credit when you also
take accountability spoke at an
education summit for Microsoft I also
spoke at an education summit for Apple
that’s education from Mike at the
education summit for Microsoft I would
say that 70% of the executives spent
about 70% of their presentations talking
about how to beat Apple at the Apple
education summit a hundred percent of
the executives spent a hundred percent
of their presentations talking about how
to help teachers teach and how to help
students learn one is playing this way
and one is playing that way one is
playing finite and the other one is
playing infinite guess which one gets
frustrated so at the end of my talk at
Microsoft that gave me a gift they gave
me the new Zune when it was a thing and
let me tell you this thing was
spectacular
it was the most elegant piece of
technology I’d ever used the user
interface was incredible the design was
spectacular I absolutely loved it it was
easy to use and it was bright and
gorgeous and it didn’t work on iTunes
which is a different problem so I
couldn’t use it but but it was amazing
and elegant my god it was elegant
so I’m sitting in the back of the taxi
with a very senior Apple executive sort
of employee number 12 kind of guy and
you know I like to stir pots so I turned
him I said you know Microsoft gave me
their new zoom and it is so much better
than your iPod Touch and he turned to me
and he said I have no doubt conversation
over because the infinite player
understands sometimes your head and
sometimes your behind sometimes your
product is better and sometimes it’s
worse the goal isn’t to be the best
every day the goal isn’t out to outdo
your competition every day
that’s a finite construction if I had
said to Microsoft I’ve got the new iPod
touch and it’s so much better than your
Zune they would have said can we see it
what does it do react react react react
finite players play to be bet to beat
the people around them infinite players
play to be better than themselves to
wake up every single day and say how can
we make our company a better version of
itself today than it was yesterday how
can we create a product this week that’s
better than the product we created last
week we also have to play the infinite
game it’s not about being ranked number
one it’s not about having more followers
on Twitter than your friends it’s not
about outdoing anyone it’s about how to
outdo yourself it’s not about selling
more books or getting more Ted views
than somebody else it’s about how to
make sure that the work that you’re
producing is better than your work
you’ve produced before you are your
competition and that is what ensures you
stay in the game the longest and that is
what ensures you find joy because the
joy comes not from comparison but from
advancement every decision we make in
our lives as individuals or as
organizations is a piece of
communication it’s our way of saying
something about who we are and what we
believe this is why authenticity matters
this is why you have to say
and do the things you actually believe
because the things you say and do are
symbols of who you are and we look for
those symbols so we can find people who
believe what we believe our very
survival depends on it so if you’re
putting out false symbols you will
attract people to those symbols but you
won’t be able to form trust with them
this is what Tiger Woods did to us he
lied he lied he told us what he thought
we wanted to hear and it was great and
we were drawn to it and all of us who
kind of liked that idea of the sort of
the good guy were drawn to it until we
found out it was a lie he could have
been the bad boy of golf he could have
had all the same endorsements and had a
fantastic career and still been hailed
as one of the great athletes of our day
but he didn’t he chose to lie
good luck forming trust again tiger we
don’t believe you we don’t trust you the
goal of putting something out there if
you say what you believe and you do what
you believe you will attract people who
believe what you believe if you go to
one of your friends and you say to one
of your friends how would you like me to
dress so that you’ll like me better
how would do you want me to address you
how do you want me to speak so that
you’ll like me more right your friends
are gonna look at you be like what are
you talking about yeah come on come on
come on what should I wear so that
you’ll find me more appealing and how
would you like me to speak to you so
that you’ll like me more and your
friends are gonna tell you just be
yourself that’s why I like you I don’t
just be yourself now think about what we
do in industry what do we do we do
market research and we go and we ask the
customers what kind of things the way we
what style should we speak to you how
should we decorate ourselves what kind
of things are you drawn to so that we
can do those things do you like us more
it’s just as ridiculous it’s just as
ridiculous organizations should say and
do the things they actually believe and
they will attract people who believe
what they believe or they can choose to
lie and at the slightest hint that they
might be lying cynicism sets in and
people start saying I’m not sure I can
trust these guys because there’s not a
lot of consistency and all the things
they say and
which means they can’t have a very
strong belief set or they’re lying to me
and we call them it authentic the entire
process of asking other people who we
should be is inauthentic that’s
hilarious to me all these positioning
studies we do are inherent
we’re going to do a study to find out
from people so we can be more authentic
that’s hilarious
say and do what you actually believe and
the symbols you put out there the things
you say and the things you do those red
hats are ways that people can find you
what you have the ability to do as
designers is create those symbols and
allow people to use those things to say
something about who they are work for
companies work for clients work for
people who you believe what they believe
show up and feel a part of something
bigger than yourself and your part is to
put what they believe into pictures and
words and symbols and graphics so that
other people can use those things to say
something about who they are people put
harley-davidson logos on their body to
say something about who they are
corporate logo ain’t no Procter &
Gamble’s tattooed on anybody’s on
because Harley means something they
stand for something people put that
tattoo on their not to tell you that
they own a motorcycle they put that
tattoo there to tell you something about
themselves do you ever see anybody with
a with a Mac laptop put a sticker over
that beautiful shining Apple ain’t never
gonna happen then how will you know who
I am
you ever see anybody with a PC break out
the Windex to clean out their computer
Mac people have you ever seen a dirty
Mac doesn’t exist does not exist why
because it’s Who I am
these are symbols we use the companies
that are crystal-clear and what they
believe and they’re disciplined and how
they do it and they’re consistent of
what they do and everything they say and
everything they do serves as a symbol of
the set of values and beliefs we use
those symbols to say something about who
we are we surround ourselves with the
people and the products and the brands
that say something about who we are and
when we confine the people who believe
what we believe
we’re weirdly
them because our very survival depends
on it
we need it and so the more you can give
of yourself the more you can give of
what you believe the more you can
discipline with discipline saying boo
and do the things you actually believe
strange things start to happen Nelson
Mandela is a particularly special case
study in the leadership world because he
is universally regarded as a great
leader you can take other personalities
and depending on the nation you go to we
have different opinions about other
personalities but Nelson Mandela across
the world is universally regarded as a
great leader he was actually the son of
a tribal chief and he was asked one day
how did you learn to be a great leader
and he responded that he would go with
his father to tribal meetings and he
remembers two things when his father
would meet with other elders one they
would always sit in a circle and to his
father was always the last to speak you
will be told your whole life that you
need to learn to listen I would say that
you need to learn to be the last to
speak I see it in boardrooms every day
of the week even people who consider
themselves good leaders who may actually
be decent leaders will walk into a room
and say here’s the problem here’s what I
think but I’m interested in your opinion
let’s go around the room it’s too late
the skill to hold your opinions to
yourself until everyone has spoken does
two things one it gives everybody else
the feeling that they have been heard it
give me it gives everyone else the
ability to feel that they have
contributed and two you get the benefit
of hearing what everybody else has to
think before you render your opinion the
skill is really to keep your opinions to
yourself
if you agree with somebody don’t nod yes
if you disagree with somebody don’t not
know simply sit there take it all in and
the only thing you’re allowed to do is
ask questions so that you can understand
what they mean and why they have the
opinion that they have you must
from where they are speaking why they
have the opinion they have not just what
they are saying and at the end you will
get your turn it sounds easy it’s not
practice being the last to speak that’s what Nelson Mandela did
missions and all of this stuff and when
people ask me like what example should I
look – like what company should I’m like
here’s an organization with a vision a
cause it was founded with a cause it’s
an entrepreneurial venture it’s America
is an experiment it’s an entrepreneurial
venture where a bunch of people got
together and decided we needed to start
our own country because there were
certain obstacles that were getting in
the way of a vision that we had of a
better kind of country but a kind of
company right and they stated it right
at the beginning all men are created
equal endowed with these unalienable
rights among amongst which include life
liberty and the pursuit of happiness and
it’s not a it’s not just a competitive
statement like to be the best to be the
most respected that’s not what it was
and I’m amazed how many companies start
their visions or missions with those
that terribly egocentric language it was
an ideal and the amazing thing is is
we’ve been good at it and bad at it in
our history but it’s endured for 240
plus years because we fundamentally
believe that we are at our best when
we’re pursuing that but it is an ideal
we will never actually achieve all
people are equal but we will die trying
and that’s the point and it’s the same
for a company which is true vision
inside a company is something that has
nothing to do with your product it is an
ideal to which you will attempt to build
an advance that ideal through your
company with your product you’ll never
achieve the ideal but you’ll die trying
and this is what gives our work meaning
this is what it gives our lives purpose
right the difference between a vision
and a goal is the finish line a goal is
26.2 miles
you can simply count the metrics and
know when you’ve completed your goal a
vision is having a crystal-clear sense
of what the finish line looks like but
no idea of how far away it is and it’s
and the reality is you’ll spend your
entire life never actually crossing the
finish line but the joy that every
marathon you complete you feel like
you’re getting closer every milestone
that you accomplish makes you feel like
you’re getting closer and closer to the
ideal and this is what gives our life in
our work meaning I met my best
and I’m around people who believe what I
believe I know it seems silly but I try
very very hard to sort of stack the deck
you know to put myself in a position of
strength so for example you know
somebody asked me just yesterday have
you ever had sort of a bad you know
engagement I was thinking myself I’m
like not really but it’s not because I’m
some sort of sort of genius are they
sending anything like that it’s because
I stack the deck it’s because I want to
be there I want to be around people who
want me there in other words if I’m
somebody’s tenth choice and like you
know I’ll probably turn it down whereas
if I’m their first choice they really
won’t be there and so I’m more likely to
have a good engagement they’re
supportive of me I’m supportive of them
and so yeah I’m at my best was like when
I stack the deck when I choose to be in
an environment where where my strengths
are are there I think successes is is
seeing those around you work to their
natural best and creating momentum for a
vision towards a vision that will last
beyond yourself so a guy is driving a
bus for 20 years got to retire
he’s on Madison Avenue in New York
packed every day is people getting on
that bus and getting off mm-hmm he has
two kids wife lives in Queens hmm he
might call himself successful another
guy might be vice president of that
company will call self unsuccessful so
his success what you make of it its
success is a feeling it’s not it’s not a
series of checkmarks and goals
I think people define success as as
finish lines you know they well I ran a
marathon I’m successful the question is
a why did you run the marathon and what
happens after you’ve completed the
marathon do you just keep running
marathons what happens if you break your
leg and you can no longer run marathons
you know we set a lot of people set
financial goals I’m successful when they
make my first million okay now I have to
make my second million its success is a
feeling and and it’s the feeling of
contribution so your bus driver in
Queens if he has decided that his job as
a bus driver is to ensure that everyone
who gets on his bus feels better about
themselves because they got on his bus
and not another bus and so he greets
them with a smile he says good morning
he says goodbye that people remember
that that
that that ride that they took with him
versus the this vice president of the
company who’s made it about himself and
his financial goals
he’s the one who’s unhappy as opposed to
seeing those around him succeed and
those around him go home with a love of
their their day you know because they
come to work in his company every day
so I still believe success and and good
leadership are about service to others
passion is not an actionable word it’s
correct you know that those who do the
things that they’re passionate about do
better but it’s not helpful advice and
so the question is where does passion
come from passion is a result passion is
an energy passion is the feeling you
have when you’re engaged in something
that you love passion is the feeling you
have that you would probably do this for
free
you know and you can’t believe somebody
pays you to do it you know and I think
we mistake that passion is something we
do in our private lives but it shouldn’t
be done you know in our careers for
example and I’m a firm believer that you
are who you are and anybody who says I’m
different at home than I am at work and
one of those two places you’re lying and
the goal is to make everything you do in
home and it works something that you
have excitement to do so how do you find
the things that you’re excited to do
well it’s actually easier than you think
what are the things that you love to do
what are the things that you would do
for free you know how can you recreate
that feeling and and be paid for it so
what are the things that I do on the
weekend right I love I’m very involved
in the art world I love to go to museums
and galleries but I love to go see dance
and performances because I want to see
how others are interpreting the world so
that inspires me new ideas new thoughts
new ways of looking at the world are
things that interest me privately and I
seek it out and pay money for it right
so does that mean I have to have a
career in the arts no it means I have to
have a career where new ideas are
explored where people are experimenting
and trying things out and I have to
explore new ideas and try things out and
I’m just as excited to go to work
everyday as I am just you know go do
something on a Saturday night
and so the idea of finding your passion
is ironically simple because you should
be doing stuff that you enjoy sometimes
what is the stuff that you enjoy and
then what is the stuff that you love who
the people you love and what are those
let me tell you a story so a friend of
mine and I we went for a run in Central
Park the Roadrunners organization on the
weekends they host races and it’s very
common at the end of the race they’ll
have a sponsor who will give away
something apples or bagels or something
and on this particular day when we got
to the end of the run there were some
free bagels and they had picnic tables
set up and on one side was a group of
volunteers on the table were boxes of
bagels and on the other side was a long
line of runners waiting to get their
free bagel so I said to my friend let’s
let’s get a bagel and he looked at me
and said that lines too long and I said
free bagel and he said I don’t want to
wait in line and I was like free bagel
and he says not that’s it’s too long and
that’s when I realized that there’s two
ways to see the world some people see
the thing that they want and some people
see the thing that prevents them from
getting the thing that they want I could
only see the bagels he could only see
the line and so I walked up to the line
I leaned in between two people put my
hand in the box and pulled out two
bagels and no one get mad at me because
the rule is you can go after whatever
you want
you just cannot deny anyone else to go
after whatever they want
now I had to sacrifice choice I didn’t
get to choose which bagel I got I got
whatever I pulled out but I didn’t have
to wait in line so the point is is you
don’t have to wait in line you don’t
have to do it the way everybody else has
done it you can do it your way you can
break the rules you just can’t get in
the way of somebody else getting what
they want that’s rule number one talk to
so many smart fantastic ambitious
idealistic hard-working kids and they’re
right out of college they’re in their
entry-level jobs and I’ll ask them how
is it going and they’ll say I think I’m
gonna quit and I’m like why they say to
me I’m not making an impact I’m like you
they treat the sense of fulfillment or
even love like it’s a scavenger hunt
like it’s something you look for my
millennial friends they’ve gone through
so many jobs they’re either getting
fired I mean it was mutual or they’re
quitting because they’re not making an
impact or they’re not finding the thing
they’re looking for they’re not feeling
fulfilled as if it’s a scavenger hunt
love a job you find joy from is not
something you discover it’s not like I
found love here it is I found a job I
love that’s not how it works both of
those things require hard work you are
in love because you work very hard every
single day of your life to stay in love
you find a job that brings you ultimate
joy because you work hard every single
day to serve those around you and you
maintain that joy it’s not a discovery
but the problem is the sense of
impatience it’s as if an entire
generation is standing at the foot of a
mountain they know exactly what they
want they can see the summit what they
can’t see is the mountain this large
amove Abul object that doesn’t mean you
have to do your time that’s not what I’m
talking about take a helicopter climb I
don’t care but there’s still a mountain
life career fulfillment relationships
our journeys the problem is this entire
generation has an institutionalized
sense of impatience and do they have the
patience to go on the journey to
maintain love to feel fulfilled or do
they just quit and on to the next dump
and on to the next ghost and on to the
next pressure whether it’s me or anybody
else is the same you know I have the
same pressures as anyone else there’s
time there’s performance there’s
financial I mean there
you know there’s deadlines my pressures
are not unique the situation’s may be
different or you know but but everybody
has the same kinds of pressures but what
I found or what I find fascinating is
the interpretation of the stimuli if let
me let me explain so I was watching the
Olympics this last Summer Olympics and I
was amazed at how bad the questions were
that the reporters would ask all the
athletes and almost always they asked
the same question whether they were
about to compete or after they competed
were you nervous right and to a tee all
the athletes went no right and what I
realized is it’s not that they’re not
nervous it’s their interpretation of
what’s happening in their bodies I mean
what it what happens when you’re nervous
right your heart rate starts to go
you’re you know you sort of get a little
tense you get a little sweaty right you
have expectation of what’s coming and we
interpreted that is I’m nervous now
what’s the interpretation of excited
your heart rate starts to go you become
you’re anticipating what’s coming right
you get a little sort of like tense it’s
all the same thing it’s the same stimuli
except these athletes these these
Olympic quality athletes have learned to
interpret the stimuli that the rest of
us would say is nervous as excited they
also the same thing no I’m not nervous
I’m excited and so I’ve actually
practiced it just to tell myself when I
start to get nervous that this is
excitement you know and so where when
you used to be speaking for the large
audience and somebody’d say how do you
feel I say a little nervous now when
somebody says how do you feel like
really excited actually
and it it came from just sort of telling
myself no no this is excitement and it
becomes a little bit automatic later on
but it’s kind of a remarkable thing to
deal with pressure by interpreting what
your body is experiencing as excitement
rather than nerves and it’s really kind
of effective it makes you want to rush
for is rather than pull back and yet
it’s the same experience
in the 18th century there was something
that spread across Europe and eventually
made its way to America where pole fever
also known as the Black Death of child
bed basically what was happening is
women were giving birth and they would
die within 48 hours after giving birth
this black death of childbirth was the
ravage of Europe and it got worse and
worse and worse over the course of over
a century in some hospitals it was as
high as 70% of women who gave birth who
would die as a result of giving birth
but this was the Renaissance this was
the time of empirical data and science
and we had thrown away things like
tradition and mysticism these were men
of science these were doctors and these
doctors and men of science wanted to
study and try and find the reason for
this black death of child bed and so
they got to work studying and they would
study the corpses of the of the women
who had died and in the morning they
would conduct autopsies and then in the
afternoon they would go and deliver
babies and finish their rounds and it
wasn’t until somewhere in the mid 1800s
that dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes father of
Supreme Court justice Oliver Wendell
Holmes realized that all of these
doctors who conducting autopsies in the
morning weren’t washing their hands
before they delivered babies in the
afternoon and he pointed it out and said
guys you’re the problem and they ignored
him and called him crazy for 30 years
until finally somebody realized that if
they simply washed their hands it would
go away and that’s exactly what happened
when they started sterilizing their
instruments and washing their hands the
black death of childbed disappeared my
point is the lesson here is sometimes
you’re the problem
we’ve seen this happen all too recently
with our new men of science and
empirical studies and these men of
Finance who are smarter than the rest of
us until the thing collapsed and they
blamed everything else except themselves
and my point is is take accountability
for your actions you can take all the
credit in the world for the things that
you do right as long as you also take
responsibility for the things you do
wrong it must be a balanced equation you
don’t get it one way and not the other
you get to take credit when you also
take accountability spoke at an
education summit for Microsoft I also
spoke at an education summit for Apple
that’s education from Mike at the
education summit for Microsoft I would
say that 70% of the executives spent
about 70% of their presentations talking
about how to beat Apple at the Apple
education summit a hundred percent of
the executives spent a hundred percent
of their presentations talking about how
to help teachers teach and how to help
students learn one is playing this way
and one is playing that way one is
playing finite and the other one is
playing infinite guess which one gets
frustrated so at the end of my talk at
Microsoft that gave me a gift they gave
me the new Zune when it was a thing and
let me tell you this thing was
spectacular
it was the most elegant piece of
technology I’d ever used the user
interface was incredible the design was
spectacular I absolutely loved it it was
easy to use and it was bright and
gorgeous and it didn’t work on iTunes
which is a different problem so I
couldn’t use it but but it was amazing
and elegant my god it was elegant
so I’m sitting in the back of the taxi
with a very senior Apple executive sort
of employee number 12 kind of guy and
you know I like to stir pots so I turned
him I said you know Microsoft gave me
their new zoom and it is so much better
than your iPod Touch and he turned to me
and he said I have no doubt conversation
over because the infinite player
understands sometimes your head and
sometimes your behind sometimes your
product is better and sometimes it’s
worse the goal isn’t to be the best
every day the goal isn’t out to outdo
your competition every day
that’s a finite construction if I had
said to Microsoft I’ve got the new iPod
touch and it’s so much better than your
Zune they would have said can we see it
what does it do react react react react
finite players play to be bet to beat
the people around them infinite players
play to be better than themselves to
wake up every single day and say how can
we make our company a better version of
itself today than it was yesterday how
can we create a product this week that’s
better than the product we created last
week we also have to play the infinite
game it’s not about being ranked number
one it’s not about having more followers
on Twitter than your friends it’s not
about outdoing anyone it’s about how to
outdo yourself it’s not about selling
more books or getting more Ted views
than somebody else it’s about how to
make sure that the work that you’re
producing is better than your work
you’ve produced before you are your
competition and that is what ensures you
stay in the game the longest and that is
what ensures you find joy because the
joy comes not from comparison but from
advancement every decision we make in
our lives as individuals or as
organizations is a piece of
communication it’s our way of saying
something about who we are and what we
believe this is why authenticity matters
this is why you have to say
and do the things you actually believe
because the things you say and do are
symbols of who you are and we look for
those symbols so we can find people who
believe what we believe our very
survival depends on it so if you’re
putting out false symbols you will
attract people to those symbols but you
won’t be able to form trust with them
this is what Tiger Woods did to us he
lied he lied he told us what he thought
we wanted to hear and it was great and
we were drawn to it and all of us who
kind of liked that idea of the sort of
the good guy were drawn to it until we
found out it was a lie he could have
been the bad boy of golf he could have
had all the same endorsements and had a
fantastic career and still been hailed
as one of the great athletes of our day
but he didn’t he chose to lie
good luck forming trust again tiger we
don’t believe you we don’t trust you the
goal of putting something out there if
you say what you believe and you do what
you believe you will attract people who
believe what you believe if you go to
one of your friends and you say to one
of your friends how would you like me to
dress so that you’ll like me better
how would do you want me to address you
how do you want me to speak so that
you’ll like me more right your friends
are gonna look at you be like what are
you talking about yeah come on come on
come on what should I wear so that
you’ll find me more appealing and how
would you like me to speak to you so
that you’ll like me more and your
friends are gonna tell you just be
yourself that’s why I like you I don’t
just be yourself now think about what we
do in industry what do we do we do
market research and we go and we ask the
customers what kind of things the way we
what style should we speak to you how
should we decorate ourselves what kind
of things are you drawn to so that we
can do those things do you like us more
it’s just as ridiculous it’s just as
ridiculous organizations should say and
do the things they actually believe and
they will attract people who believe
what they believe or they can choose to
lie and at the slightest hint that they
might be lying cynicism sets in and
people start saying I’m not sure I can
trust these guys because there’s not a
lot of consistency and all the things
they say and
which means they can’t have a very
strong belief set or they’re lying to me
and we call them it authentic the entire
process of asking other people who we
should be is inauthentic that’s
hilarious to me all these positioning
studies we do are inherent
we’re going to do a study to find out
from people so we can be more authentic
that’s hilarious
say and do what you actually believe and
the symbols you put out there the things
you say and the things you do those red
hats are ways that people can find you
what you have the ability to do as
designers is create those symbols and
allow people to use those things to say
something about who they are work for
companies work for clients work for
people who you believe what they believe
show up and feel a part of something
bigger than yourself and your part is to
put what they believe into pictures and
words and symbols and graphics so that
other people can use those things to say
something about who they are people put
harley-davidson logos on their body to
say something about who they are
corporate logo ain’t no Procter &
Gamble’s tattooed on anybody’s on
because Harley means something they
stand for something people put that
tattoo on their not to tell you that
they own a motorcycle they put that
tattoo there to tell you something about
themselves do you ever see anybody with
a with a Mac laptop put a sticker over
that beautiful shining Apple ain’t never
gonna happen then how will you know who
I am
you ever see anybody with a PC break out
the Windex to clean out their computer
Mac people have you ever seen a dirty
Mac doesn’t exist does not exist why
because it’s Who I am
these are symbols we use the companies
that are crystal-clear and what they
believe and they’re disciplined and how
they do it and they’re consistent of
what they do and everything they say and
everything they do serves as a symbol of
the set of values and beliefs we use
those symbols to say something about who
we are we surround ourselves with the
people and the products and the brands
that say something about who we are and
when we confine the people who believe
what we believe
we’re weirdly
them because our very survival depends
on it
we need it and so the more you can give
of yourself the more you can give of
what you believe the more you can
discipline with discipline saying boo
and do the things you actually believe
strange things start to happen Nelson
Mandela is a particularly special case
study in the leadership world because he
is universally regarded as a great
leader you can take other personalities
and depending on the nation you go to we
have different opinions about other
personalities but Nelson Mandela across
the world is universally regarded as a
great leader he was actually the son of
a tribal chief and he was asked one day
how did you learn to be a great leader
and he responded that he would go with
his father to tribal meetings and he
remembers two things when his father
would meet with other elders one they
would always sit in a circle and to his
father was always the last to speak you
will be told your whole life that you
need to learn to listen I would say that
you need to learn to be the last to
speak I see it in boardrooms every day
of the week even people who consider
themselves good leaders who may actually
be decent leaders will walk into a room
and say here’s the problem here’s what I
think but I’m interested in your opinion
let’s go around the room it’s too late
the skill to hold your opinions to
yourself until everyone has spoken does
two things one it gives everybody else
the feeling that they have been heard it
give me it gives everyone else the
ability to feel that they have
contributed and two you get the benefit
of hearing what everybody else has to
think before you render your opinion the
skill is really to keep your opinions to
yourself
if you agree with somebody don’t nod yes
if you disagree with somebody don’t not
know simply sit there take it all in and
the only thing you’re allowed to do is
ask questions so that you can understand
what they mean and why they have the
opinion that they have you must
from where they are speaking why they
have the opinion they have not just what
they are saying and at the end you will
get your turn it sounds easy it’s not
practice being the last to speak that’s what Nelson Mandela did
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