if you want to know how people like Mark
Zuckerberg Will Smith and Bruno Mars
take their shot then this video is for
you taking a shot take a shot what’s
that believe nation it’s Evan my one
word is believe and I believe in you I
believe you have an amazing gift inside
you that I want to see explode out onto
the world now I started the one rule
series to try to look at all the top 10
videos that I do and pull together the
rules that come up over and over and
over again and smoosh them together into
one video for you so today we’re gonna
learn how you can take a shot enjoy in a
world that’s changing so quickly the
biggest risk you can take is not taking
any risk and I really think that that’s
true right a lot of people I think think
that you know whatever it comes to
whatever you get yourself into a
position where you have to make some
some big shift and direction or do
something you know there are always
people are going to point to the
downside risks of that decision and
locally there may be right right I mean
if for any given decision that you’re
gonna make there’s upside and downside
but in aggregate if you are stagnant and
you don’t make those changes then then I
think you’re guaranteed to fail right
and not not catch up so to some degree I
think it’s really right that over time
the biggest risk that you can take is to
not take any risks don’t get me Stan I
avoid always gotta be the bad guys well
when you were on Conan you would ask to
give your best description of Brite and
you said think of it is the energy of
training day meets lured rings yes
which is a little bit baffling but is
surprisingly accurate
you confident that you could pull off
this odd cocktail no I wasn’t confident
at all but that’s what was exciting to
me it’s is so wonderfully weird I was
excited about taking a shot the fact
that it was so strange you know as an
artist it was it was a fun to get out on
that on that limb and hoping it doesn’t
break under your feet the last straight
job I had was 1981 head manager of a
haagen-dazs in Georgetown in Washington
DC on Wisconsin Avenue at the
intersection of Wisconsin and o’the
Street making three seventy five an hour
$4 an hour or something like that
working 40 to 60 hours a week I had a
small apartment which I shared with an
old pal of mine
I had a small record collection an
ailing VW automobile and a little tiny
life with my minimum wage job which I
rear I liked and I looked at my life and
realized this is probably as about as
good as it’s gonna get for me I might
quit this place and go work at my
friend’s record store cuz I like to
being around records that I could
probably run his store very well knowing
what I knew about retail at that point
and then I got a very lucky break
because at that same time I was very
frustrated I said well this is gonna be
a very tough life it’s gonna be a life
of a lot of standing on my feet a lot of
work taking it from other people and
having very little to show for it by
Friday you know Friday evening and then
Black Flag the famous band whose friends
of mine they played in New York I was in
Washington I took a ride up to go see
him because they weren’t coming down in
my town I jumped on stage and sang with
him that night a song because I had to
go back down to DC and go work like some
awful shift they called me a few days
later at the ice cream store and said
you know we’re looking for a singer
because the rhythm guitar player wants
to I’m sorry the vocalist wants to move
down to rhythm guitar til I told the
story before and we’re holding auditions
you want to crack at this because we saw
you on stage the other night you’re
pretty wild I looked at the ice cream
scoop in my hand my chocolate
bespattered
apron and my future in the world of
minimum wage work or I could go up to
New York and audition for this crazy
band who is my favorite what’s the worst
is going to happen to me I miss a day of
work ooh there goes 21 bucks and I get
humiliated in front of my favorite band
yeah humiliation and young people kind
of go together I was used to it and so I
I took a train up there I walked into
this practice place in the East Village
I’m standing there with the band with a
microphone in my hand they said pick the
tune and I sang every song they had you
know improvising most of it two times
through we did the set they said okay
you have a seat we’re gonna go have a
band meeting whatever that means and
they came back like 10 minutes later
said okay you’re in I said what do you
mean they said you’re the singer in
Black Flag I said so what do I do they
go he’ll quit your job you pack your
gear you meet us on the road here’s
here’s the tour itinerary here’s the
lyrics we’ll see you soon so fairly numb
I went back down to Washington with this
passel of lyrics in my hand went to my
boss and said I’m not exactly quitting
but here’s this thing that happened and
he said it’s your shot I said yeah he
said take it when I was 20 years old I
missed my shot because I was scared and
I vowed never to do it again I was in
Paris I was on vacation I was in
University and I’m sitting here with my
map outside the Notre Dame Cathedral in
Paris and a girl comes up and asked me
for directions but she was a French girl
and it didn’t twig until later that why
would a French girl be asking me for
directions in English didn’t really make
sense right and then I thought you know
what I should ask her out if you see
what she’s doing tonight should take her
to you know ask her out for coffee or
dinner or something see what she’s up to
but I was afraid I was afraid to do it I
was afraid to do it and I let her walk
away because really it was I was afraid
of rejection and as she’s walking away
the note Radames on a river and I’m on
one side of the river and she crosses
over t other side of the river
and I was so upset at myself I was so
upset that I didn’t take my shot I was
so upset that I didn’t try at least try
and what I did was end up taking a
picture and has I took the picture she
actually walked behind one of the market
stalls and I didn’t actually get her
picture it’s fine so I had this
beautiful picture of this French you
know Riverside and when I did when I got
home I was still upset about it so I
blew the picture up and I put it on my
wall I was actually trying to find the
picture to show you guys but I couldn’t
find anywhere in my files I blew it up
there when I put in my wall so I’m in
University I blow it up and put on my
wall everybody who walks in asked me
what the picture and it just looks like
a nice beautiful French scene but I
didn’t tell anybody what they’ve really
represented to me why I was really so
important and I looked at that picture
every day because the next time that I
had to take my shot I wanted to go out
and do it I didn’t want to be afraid I
wanted to conquer my fear and say yes
and this served me really well a year or
so later when I had to make the really
tough decision do I take this job that I
always wanted I had these high-paying
job opportunities and $100,000 started
shower with the companies that I really
wanted to go out or continue with my
startup that was failing that was making
$300 a month the logical practical safe
easy thing to do would have been to take
the job it’s what I thought I always
wanted so my friends want it’s what
you’re supposed to do coming out of
university I didn’t want to live with
the regret of not knowing what happened
with my business and looking at that
picture daily reminded me to take my
shot the next time it comes around and
so I gave myself a year to say I’m gonna
push off those jobs they’ll still be
there in a year you know it’s not those
jobs at some other job I’m gonna give
this a shot I can deal with the failure
I can deal with the rejection I can deal
with that not working out even though
that’s a really kind of short term
intense pain what I can’t deal with is
the regret
no because that’s not some short-term
minimal pain that’s forever if I chose
not to focus on my business and I took
that job I would forever look back on
that moment and think what if what if I
just tried a little bit harder what if I
gave it a little bit more yeah you know
but I wasn’t working I wasn’t getting
results but what if I gave it a little
bit more I did not want to live with
that regret and I’m sure you’ve had
moments in your life to what you didn’t
take the shot
when you had an opportunity right in
front of you and you didn’t go for it
like Eminem says if you had one shot one
opportunity to seize everything you ever
wanted would you take it and that
picture on the wall help me take my shot
and I hope sincerely that the next time
you get your chance at something that
you don’t shrink down that you don’t say
no out of fear that you don’t say no
because you find some practical reason
why you can’t do it that you take your
shot and if you’ve had those moments
that you regret where you wanted to take
your shot and you didn’t give yourself a
visual reminder like I did in my room to
say this is not happening again next
time I’m going to take my shot I hope
you take yours what’s the biggest risk
you’ve taken that you feel is paid off
the biggest risk I’ve taken that is paid
I want to say cookie I mean I was very
nervous when I received the script she
wasn’t the most likable character I’ve
played some pretty edgy characters but
this one was particularly a challenge
because it was primetime Network
television and I wasn’t sure how people
would receive her I mean she beat her
son with a broom even though he deserved
it um she called once on a faggot I mean
it was it was scary but
I’m the type of artist that if the role
doesn’t scare me I don’t want it because
it’s not gonna change me as a person so
I took a risk and that’s what you do as
artists you jump in feet first and you
see where it goes and I knew that we had
something special
I don’t just jump feet first for any
project I knew this was something
special I knew that what Fox was trying
to do with Lee Daniels and tani strong
we’re trying to do and what I was trying
to do was shake up television it’s too
safe you know life is not safe and I
think we did that with this show so I’m
so proud to be a part of this project
and I’m so proud that Fox believed in us
and took a chance because that’s what
art is about isn’t it taking chances
taking risks people told me that Black
Swan was an artistic risk a scary
challenge to try to portray a
professional ballet dancer but it didn’t
feel like courage or daring that drew me
to it
I was so oblivious to my own limits that
I did things I was woefully unprepared
to do and so the very inexperience that
in college had made me feel insecure and
made me want to play by other’s rules
now was making me actually take risks I
didn’t even realize were risks when
Darren asked me if I could do ballet I
told him that I was basically a
ballerina which by the way I
wholeheartedly believed when it quickly
became clear and preparing for the film
that I was maybe 15 years away from
being a ballerina it made me work a
million times harder and of course the
magic of cinema and body doubles helped
the final effect but the point is if I
had known my own limitations I never
would have taken the risk and the risk
led to one of my greatest artistic and
personal experiences and that I not only
felt completely free I also met my
husband during filming I encouraged the
view if you are sitting on an idea
whether it’s on your laptop whether it’s
in your garage whether it’s in your
basement whether it’s in the back of
your car give it a shot right and the
best advice I ever received find out if
your product and sell don’t let anybody
talk you out of it give it a chance try
make it happen this is our greatest
asset as a nation and one that we have
to continue to encourage
you don’t have to go broke you don’t
have to bet everything on it but you can
start one day at a time taking a chance
and seeing if you two can build a great
company after you moved to LA from
Hawaii you got there and what’s the
reason to leave Hawaii in the first
place
I think I needed to take a shot at the
big time I wanted to make my album and
start writing my own music and I
performed my whole life in Hawaii
Waikiki of parties and weddings and
shows and anything you could think of
restaurants bars and clubs
and you know I feel like I did a lot in
my way and I wanted to as soon as I
graduated high school wanted to take the
next step and hopefully do it even
bigger so you got that to LA apart with
the trust your suitcase probably mm-hmm
wasn’t even my suitcase any money
absolutely that I probably had about six
hundred bucks I saved up 700 maybe but
what was the plan then I mean how do you
how did you feel at this special moment
getting there and having no clues about
what’s going to happen next
it was exciting I was I was young my
sister helped me out you know she let me
stay with her for a year and I got
signed to Motown Records that didn’t
really work out but I had to learn you
know it’s such a it’s such a learning
process and a lot of rejection
I think me left understand that that’s
just a part of the the you know what it
takes to to kind of finally come up with
your own album is that you need to be
rejected over and over and everyone
telling you
good enough to kind of break through
that that’s what it takes I think people
have terrible risk calculus in general
even people who try to be really good
about this are bad at it um the answer I
think is almost always a you’re wrong
about what is risking what it’s not
risky and B most people don’t take
enough risk especially early in your
career being on young and unknown and
poor that is actually a great gift in
terms of the amount of risk you can take
and I think people don’t capitalize on
that enough I think what risk actually
looks like is not doing something that
you will then spend the rest of your
life regretting and there’s a quote you
know people regret way more the things
they didn’t do them things that they did
do so if you really believe in something
there’s an idea that you’re super
passionate about you know and you take a
calculated risk to start a company
realizing you may forego a couple of
years of studying come in and our job
and whatever else and you know maybe
people call you a failure or whatever
that’s a great risk to take and if you
don’t take that risk I think you have a
very high chance that you end up
regretting that I think the wrong kind
of risk to take is where people don’t
actually do things or don’t commit to
something because they don’t want to
fail and they over rate the risk of
failure and their reputation damage or
embarrassment or whatever I think one
really important thing to strive for in
your career is to be a doer not a talker
and the reason that people don’t do
stuff one is it’s hard and two is it’s
risky and so you have these people that
you know want to dabble on a bunch of
different projects but never be all-in
on one and I think it’s this combination
of work and risk and it’s you know I
think that’s really bad I think history
belongs to the doers and I think you
should take a risk actually do something
don’t just sit around and talk and
organize and bring together groups and
go to thought leadership conferences and
whatever it is these people spend their
time on other than actually building
something and just take the risk of
committing to what you you have
conviction
I go into the emergency room and I was
like Donald Smith and they’re like I’m
sorry
he passed and they took me into the room
there’s my father laying on a gurney
just dead
it still has a tube sticking out of him
and they’re trying to intubate him or
something like that but just motionless
quiet
no breathing whatsoever and it was weird
it was I mean to say the least you
always know eventually your parents
gonna go but I wasn’t ready I wasn’t
ready for that moment and then I walked
out and I went outside and had a
cigarette I still cigarette smoker in
those days and I was just thinking about
being half an orphan or halfway to being
an orphan or something like that my
brother comes out and I was like I can’t
believe it right he goes yeah it’s
pretty tough and I said how was it
because my brother was there he was
staying with my parents
and Donald without missing a beat my
brother goes dad died screaming and I
was like what and he goes dad died
screaming I said what do you mean it’s
like well he woke up and he was kicking
the sheets off and screaming about being
on fire and he was so hot and so hot and
get him water and screaming the
screaming got louder and louder and it
reached a fever pitch and he died and I
don’t know how else to say it but dad
died screaming and that hit me like a
Mack truck and I remember thinking oh my
god in this world where even a good man
like my old man is gonna die screaming
there’s no point and not trying to
achieve everything dream that I have
this is my eventual end one day that’s
it and and I really felt like man that’s
like this I can’t this is my future
we’re all probably gonna go out
screaming so the best thing to do prior
to that is to try to pack that life with
as much wonderfulness fun productivity
surround yourself with people that are
going to help you do that you know cuz
in this world there’s not a lot of
support a lot of negativity there’s a
lot of cynicism even as I sit here and
tell that story about my father dying I
guarantee you there’s a cynical head in
this house maybe more sitting there
going who cares move on tell a joke the
world is full of why man you tell people
something they’ll tell you why throw a
rock and you’ll hit somebody with Y like
hey man I want to make a movie why why
do you think you could do that
why why nobody else is doing it why are
you doing it there’s so much why you go
out and you find why not you surround
yourself with why not people are just
like why not we’re you like hey man I’m
gonna try something like why not let’s
give it a shot people who try to help
you do your dreams make your dreams come
true and you do the same for them we’re
all in this together and it costs
nothing to encourage an artist that’s
why I get up here for almost 20 years
now after the movie man I mean a lot of
filmmakers get up after the movie and
spend more time than the movie itself
talking but I’ve been trying to impart
one simple lesson for nearly 25 years
anybody can do this you know what I’m
saying like I wasn’t born into a
business or the film business or born
with a mic in my hands I have no
discernible talent whatsoever man I have
no connections to the business we’re
from New Jersey and stuff I got lucky
somebody picked up the movie and boom I
was off and running and part of that
manifest when you’re in brought into the
indie film community part of your your
your job part of your honor part of your
privilege is to make sure that keeps
going to encourage other people you know
to tell people it’s worth the shot just
like Wayne Gretzky said like you miss a
hundred percent of the shots you never
take it’s always worth the shot now if
you’re talking about leg if what your
shot is usually like I’ve always wanted
to kill 12 children Kevin don’t take
that shot at all I’m not talking about
that you know I’m talking about
artsy you know writing a blog and making
some music making a movie making a
cupcake store in a knitting store
putting together of a YouTube clip just
anything that’s just not oh we must do
this because it’s part of my job or this
will get money some you just do just to
see if it can get be done live a why not
life man because we’re all gonna die
screaming so make sure when you die
screaming you’re totally fulfilled you
like I took all the shots I did it I did
I went after everything I wanted to or
at least tried take the shot the shot is
always worth taking whether it’s a dopey
thing like podcasting or writing a book
or writing a blog think about the
encouragement you get when you encourage
an artist think about the potential that
comes out of it you tell a dude good job
man that person maybe one day writes
that blog
that you mean out to the entire world
because it says exactly what you always
wanted to say but couldn’t yourself or
they write that song that you play over
and over after a loved one dies because
it means the world to you they they make
that movie that is the one you cling to
when everything is going wrong in life
all you pop that in and things aren’t
bad for two hours all that comes from
encouraging an artist nothing good comes
from discouraging an artist so for 20
years I keep coming up here and going go
out and do it why the fuck aren’t you
doing this it’s so fun you should do it
take your shot I took my shot and it’s
nothing but pussy and donut’s you know
just so I’m here to tell you man give it
a shot go out and try thank you guys so
much for watching I hope you enjoyed I’d
love to know what do you think of this
video whose point resonated the most
with you and how are you now going to
take your shot I’d love to hear from you
please leave your comments down below I
also want to give a quick shout out to
Frankie dela Torre Frankie thank you so
much for picking up a copy of both of my
books and posting that awesome rockin
picture on social I hate all the support
men and enjoy the reads so thank you
guys again for watching I believe in you
I hope you continue to believe in
yourself and whatever your one where it
is much love I’ll see you soon if you
had to think of one word that’s most
important to you that sums you Apple
that would be collect a little beacon
pay believe nation if you want to know
what the most important one word is for
Tony Robbins Gary Vaynerchuk Oprah
Winfrey will.i.am and Howard Schultz I
have a very special secret video for you
check the description for details
[Music]
Zuckerberg Will Smith and Bruno Mars
take their shot then this video is for
you taking a shot take a shot what’s
that believe nation it’s Evan my one
word is believe and I believe in you I
believe you have an amazing gift inside
you that I want to see explode out onto
the world now I started the one rule
series to try to look at all the top 10
videos that I do and pull together the
rules that come up over and over and
over again and smoosh them together into
one video for you so today we’re gonna
learn how you can take a shot enjoy in a
world that’s changing so quickly the
biggest risk you can take is not taking
any risk and I really think that that’s
true right a lot of people I think think
that you know whatever it comes to
whatever you get yourself into a
position where you have to make some
some big shift and direction or do
something you know there are always
people are going to point to the
downside risks of that decision and
locally there may be right right I mean
if for any given decision that you’re
gonna make there’s upside and downside
but in aggregate if you are stagnant and
you don’t make those changes then then I
think you’re guaranteed to fail right
and not not catch up so to some degree I
think it’s really right that over time
the biggest risk that you can take is to
not take any risks don’t get me Stan I
avoid always gotta be the bad guys well
when you were on Conan you would ask to
give your best description of Brite and
you said think of it is the energy of
training day meets lured rings yes
which is a little bit baffling but is
surprisingly accurate
you confident that you could pull off
this odd cocktail no I wasn’t confident
at all but that’s what was exciting to
me it’s is so wonderfully weird I was
excited about taking a shot the fact
that it was so strange you know as an
artist it was it was a fun to get out on
that on that limb and hoping it doesn’t
break under your feet the last straight
job I had was 1981 head manager of a
haagen-dazs in Georgetown in Washington
DC on Wisconsin Avenue at the
intersection of Wisconsin and o’the
Street making three seventy five an hour
$4 an hour or something like that
working 40 to 60 hours a week I had a
small apartment which I shared with an
old pal of mine
I had a small record collection an
ailing VW automobile and a little tiny
life with my minimum wage job which I
rear I liked and I looked at my life and
realized this is probably as about as
good as it’s gonna get for me I might
quit this place and go work at my
friend’s record store cuz I like to
being around records that I could
probably run his store very well knowing
what I knew about retail at that point
and then I got a very lucky break
because at that same time I was very
frustrated I said well this is gonna be
a very tough life it’s gonna be a life
of a lot of standing on my feet a lot of
work taking it from other people and
having very little to show for it by
Friday you know Friday evening and then
Black Flag the famous band whose friends
of mine they played in New York I was in
Washington I took a ride up to go see
him because they weren’t coming down in
my town I jumped on stage and sang with
him that night a song because I had to
go back down to DC and go work like some
awful shift they called me a few days
later at the ice cream store and said
you know we’re looking for a singer
because the rhythm guitar player wants
to I’m sorry the vocalist wants to move
down to rhythm guitar til I told the
story before and we’re holding auditions
you want to crack at this because we saw
you on stage the other night you’re
pretty wild I looked at the ice cream
scoop in my hand my chocolate
bespattered
apron and my future in the world of
minimum wage work or I could go up to
New York and audition for this crazy
band who is my favorite what’s the worst
is going to happen to me I miss a day of
work ooh there goes 21 bucks and I get
humiliated in front of my favorite band
yeah humiliation and young people kind
of go together I was used to it and so I
I took a train up there I walked into
this practice place in the East Village
I’m standing there with the band with a
microphone in my hand they said pick the
tune and I sang every song they had you
know improvising most of it two times
through we did the set they said okay
you have a seat we’re gonna go have a
band meeting whatever that means and
they came back like 10 minutes later
said okay you’re in I said what do you
mean they said you’re the singer in
Black Flag I said so what do I do they
go he’ll quit your job you pack your
gear you meet us on the road here’s
here’s the tour itinerary here’s the
lyrics we’ll see you soon so fairly numb
I went back down to Washington with this
passel of lyrics in my hand went to my
boss and said I’m not exactly quitting
but here’s this thing that happened and
he said it’s your shot I said yeah he
said take it when I was 20 years old I
missed my shot because I was scared and
I vowed never to do it again I was in
Paris I was on vacation I was in
University and I’m sitting here with my
map outside the Notre Dame Cathedral in
Paris and a girl comes up and asked me
for directions but she was a French girl
and it didn’t twig until later that why
would a French girl be asking me for
directions in English didn’t really make
sense right and then I thought you know
what I should ask her out if you see
what she’s doing tonight should take her
to you know ask her out for coffee or
dinner or something see what she’s up to
but I was afraid I was afraid to do it I
was afraid to do it and I let her walk
away because really it was I was afraid
of rejection and as she’s walking away
the note Radames on a river and I’m on
one side of the river and she crosses
over t other side of the river
and I was so upset at myself I was so
upset that I didn’t take my shot I was
so upset that I didn’t try at least try
and what I did was end up taking a
picture and has I took the picture she
actually walked behind one of the market
stalls and I didn’t actually get her
picture it’s fine so I had this
beautiful picture of this French you
know Riverside and when I did when I got
home I was still upset about it so I
blew the picture up and I put it on my
wall I was actually trying to find the
picture to show you guys but I couldn’t
find anywhere in my files I blew it up
there when I put in my wall so I’m in
University I blow it up and put on my
wall everybody who walks in asked me
what the picture and it just looks like
a nice beautiful French scene but I
didn’t tell anybody what they’ve really
represented to me why I was really so
important and I looked at that picture
every day because the next time that I
had to take my shot I wanted to go out
and do it I didn’t want to be afraid I
wanted to conquer my fear and say yes
and this served me really well a year or
so later when I had to make the really
tough decision do I take this job that I
always wanted I had these high-paying
job opportunities and $100,000 started
shower with the companies that I really
wanted to go out or continue with my
startup that was failing that was making
$300 a month the logical practical safe
easy thing to do would have been to take
the job it’s what I thought I always
wanted so my friends want it’s what
you’re supposed to do coming out of
university I didn’t want to live with
the regret of not knowing what happened
with my business and looking at that
picture daily reminded me to take my
shot the next time it comes around and
so I gave myself a year to say I’m gonna
push off those jobs they’ll still be
there in a year you know it’s not those
jobs at some other job I’m gonna give
this a shot I can deal with the failure
I can deal with the rejection I can deal
with that not working out even though
that’s a really kind of short term
intense pain what I can’t deal with is
the regret
no because that’s not some short-term
minimal pain that’s forever if I chose
not to focus on my business and I took
that job I would forever look back on
that moment and think what if what if I
just tried a little bit harder what if I
gave it a little bit more yeah you know
but I wasn’t working I wasn’t getting
results but what if I gave it a little
bit more I did not want to live with
that regret and I’m sure you’ve had
moments in your life to what you didn’t
take the shot
when you had an opportunity right in
front of you and you didn’t go for it
like Eminem says if you had one shot one
opportunity to seize everything you ever
wanted would you take it and that
picture on the wall help me take my shot
and I hope sincerely that the next time
you get your chance at something that
you don’t shrink down that you don’t say
no out of fear that you don’t say no
because you find some practical reason
why you can’t do it that you take your
shot and if you’ve had those moments
that you regret where you wanted to take
your shot and you didn’t give yourself a
visual reminder like I did in my room to
say this is not happening again next
time I’m going to take my shot I hope
you take yours what’s the biggest risk
you’ve taken that you feel is paid off
the biggest risk I’ve taken that is paid
I want to say cookie I mean I was very
nervous when I received the script she
wasn’t the most likable character I’ve
played some pretty edgy characters but
this one was particularly a challenge
because it was primetime Network
television and I wasn’t sure how people
would receive her I mean she beat her
son with a broom even though he deserved
it um she called once on a faggot I mean
it was it was scary but
I’m the type of artist that if the role
doesn’t scare me I don’t want it because
it’s not gonna change me as a person so
I took a risk and that’s what you do as
artists you jump in feet first and you
see where it goes and I knew that we had
something special
I don’t just jump feet first for any
project I knew this was something
special I knew that what Fox was trying
to do with Lee Daniels and tani strong
we’re trying to do and what I was trying
to do was shake up television it’s too
safe you know life is not safe and I
think we did that with this show so I’m
so proud to be a part of this project
and I’m so proud that Fox believed in us
and took a chance because that’s what
art is about isn’t it taking chances
taking risks people told me that Black
Swan was an artistic risk a scary
challenge to try to portray a
professional ballet dancer but it didn’t
feel like courage or daring that drew me
to it
I was so oblivious to my own limits that
I did things I was woefully unprepared
to do and so the very inexperience that
in college had made me feel insecure and
made me want to play by other’s rules
now was making me actually take risks I
didn’t even realize were risks when
Darren asked me if I could do ballet I
told him that I was basically a
ballerina which by the way I
wholeheartedly believed when it quickly
became clear and preparing for the film
that I was maybe 15 years away from
being a ballerina it made me work a
million times harder and of course the
magic of cinema and body doubles helped
the final effect but the point is if I
had known my own limitations I never
would have taken the risk and the risk
led to one of my greatest artistic and
personal experiences and that I not only
felt completely free I also met my
husband during filming I encouraged the
view if you are sitting on an idea
whether it’s on your laptop whether it’s
in your garage whether it’s in your
basement whether it’s in the back of
your car give it a shot right and the
best advice I ever received find out if
your product and sell don’t let anybody
talk you out of it give it a chance try
make it happen this is our greatest
asset as a nation and one that we have
to continue to encourage
you don’t have to go broke you don’t
have to bet everything on it but you can
start one day at a time taking a chance
and seeing if you two can build a great
company after you moved to LA from
Hawaii you got there and what’s the
reason to leave Hawaii in the first
place
I think I needed to take a shot at the
big time I wanted to make my album and
start writing my own music and I
performed my whole life in Hawaii
Waikiki of parties and weddings and
shows and anything you could think of
restaurants bars and clubs
and you know I feel like I did a lot in
my way and I wanted to as soon as I
graduated high school wanted to take the
next step and hopefully do it even
bigger so you got that to LA apart with
the trust your suitcase probably mm-hmm
wasn’t even my suitcase any money
absolutely that I probably had about six
hundred bucks I saved up 700 maybe but
what was the plan then I mean how do you
how did you feel at this special moment
getting there and having no clues about
what’s going to happen next
it was exciting I was I was young my
sister helped me out you know she let me
stay with her for a year and I got
signed to Motown Records that didn’t
really work out but I had to learn you
know it’s such a it’s such a learning
process and a lot of rejection
I think me left understand that that’s
just a part of the the you know what it
takes to to kind of finally come up with
your own album is that you need to be
rejected over and over and everyone
telling you
good enough to kind of break through
that that’s what it takes I think people
have terrible risk calculus in general
even people who try to be really good
about this are bad at it um the answer I
think is almost always a you’re wrong
about what is risking what it’s not
risky and B most people don’t take
enough risk especially early in your
career being on young and unknown and
poor that is actually a great gift in
terms of the amount of risk you can take
and I think people don’t capitalize on
that enough I think what risk actually
looks like is not doing something that
you will then spend the rest of your
life regretting and there’s a quote you
know people regret way more the things
they didn’t do them things that they did
do so if you really believe in something
there’s an idea that you’re super
passionate about you know and you take a
calculated risk to start a company
realizing you may forego a couple of
years of studying come in and our job
and whatever else and you know maybe
people call you a failure or whatever
that’s a great risk to take and if you
don’t take that risk I think you have a
very high chance that you end up
regretting that I think the wrong kind
of risk to take is where people don’t
actually do things or don’t commit to
something because they don’t want to
fail and they over rate the risk of
failure and their reputation damage or
embarrassment or whatever I think one
really important thing to strive for in
your career is to be a doer not a talker
and the reason that people don’t do
stuff one is it’s hard and two is it’s
risky and so you have these people that
you know want to dabble on a bunch of
different projects but never be all-in
on one and I think it’s this combination
of work and risk and it’s you know I
think that’s really bad I think history
belongs to the doers and I think you
should take a risk actually do something
don’t just sit around and talk and
organize and bring together groups and
go to thought leadership conferences and
whatever it is these people spend their
time on other than actually building
something and just take the risk of
committing to what you you have
conviction
I go into the emergency room and I was
like Donald Smith and they’re like I’m
sorry
he passed and they took me into the room
there’s my father laying on a gurney
just dead
it still has a tube sticking out of him
and they’re trying to intubate him or
something like that but just motionless
quiet
no breathing whatsoever and it was weird
it was I mean to say the least you
always know eventually your parents
gonna go but I wasn’t ready I wasn’t
ready for that moment and then I walked
out and I went outside and had a
cigarette I still cigarette smoker in
those days and I was just thinking about
being half an orphan or halfway to being
an orphan or something like that my
brother comes out and I was like I can’t
believe it right he goes yeah it’s
pretty tough and I said how was it
because my brother was there he was
staying with my parents
and Donald without missing a beat my
brother goes dad died screaming and I
was like what and he goes dad died
screaming I said what do you mean it’s
like well he woke up and he was kicking
the sheets off and screaming about being
on fire and he was so hot and so hot and
get him water and screaming the
screaming got louder and louder and it
reached a fever pitch and he died and I
don’t know how else to say it but dad
died screaming and that hit me like a
Mack truck and I remember thinking oh my
god in this world where even a good man
like my old man is gonna die screaming
there’s no point and not trying to
achieve everything dream that I have
this is my eventual end one day that’s
it and and I really felt like man that’s
like this I can’t this is my future
we’re all probably gonna go out
screaming so the best thing to do prior
to that is to try to pack that life with
as much wonderfulness fun productivity
surround yourself with people that are
going to help you do that you know cuz
in this world there’s not a lot of
support a lot of negativity there’s a
lot of cynicism even as I sit here and
tell that story about my father dying I
guarantee you there’s a cynical head in
this house maybe more sitting there
going who cares move on tell a joke the
world is full of why man you tell people
something they’ll tell you why throw a
rock and you’ll hit somebody with Y like
hey man I want to make a movie why why
do you think you could do that
why why nobody else is doing it why are
you doing it there’s so much why you go
out and you find why not you surround
yourself with why not people are just
like why not we’re you like hey man I’m
gonna try something like why not let’s
give it a shot people who try to help
you do your dreams make your dreams come
true and you do the same for them we’re
all in this together and it costs
nothing to encourage an artist that’s
why I get up here for almost 20 years
now after the movie man I mean a lot of
filmmakers get up after the movie and
spend more time than the movie itself
talking but I’ve been trying to impart
one simple lesson for nearly 25 years
anybody can do this you know what I’m
saying like I wasn’t born into a
business or the film business or born
with a mic in my hands I have no
discernible talent whatsoever man I have
no connections to the business we’re
from New Jersey and stuff I got lucky
somebody picked up the movie and boom I
was off and running and part of that
manifest when you’re in brought into the
indie film community part of your your
your job part of your honor part of your
privilege is to make sure that keeps
going to encourage other people you know
to tell people it’s worth the shot just
like Wayne Gretzky said like you miss a
hundred percent of the shots you never
take it’s always worth the shot now if
you’re talking about leg if what your
shot is usually like I’ve always wanted
to kill 12 children Kevin don’t take
that shot at all I’m not talking about
that you know I’m talking about
artsy you know writing a blog and making
some music making a movie making a
cupcake store in a knitting store
putting together of a YouTube clip just
anything that’s just not oh we must do
this because it’s part of my job or this
will get money some you just do just to
see if it can get be done live a why not
life man because we’re all gonna die
screaming so make sure when you die
screaming you’re totally fulfilled you
like I took all the shots I did it I did
I went after everything I wanted to or
at least tried take the shot the shot is
always worth taking whether it’s a dopey
thing like podcasting or writing a book
or writing a blog think about the
encouragement you get when you encourage
an artist think about the potential that
comes out of it you tell a dude good job
man that person maybe one day writes
that blog
that you mean out to the entire world
because it says exactly what you always
wanted to say but couldn’t yourself or
they write that song that you play over
and over after a loved one dies because
it means the world to you they they make
that movie that is the one you cling to
when everything is going wrong in life
all you pop that in and things aren’t
bad for two hours all that comes from
encouraging an artist nothing good comes
from discouraging an artist so for 20
years I keep coming up here and going go
out and do it why the fuck aren’t you
doing this it’s so fun you should do it
take your shot I took my shot and it’s
nothing but pussy and donut’s you know
just so I’m here to tell you man give it
a shot go out and try thank you guys so
much for watching I hope you enjoyed I’d
love to know what do you think of this
video whose point resonated the most
with you and how are you now going to
take your shot I’d love to hear from you
please leave your comments down below I
also want to give a quick shout out to
Frankie dela Torre Frankie thank you so
much for picking up a copy of both of my
books and posting that awesome rockin
picture on social I hate all the support
men and enjoy the reads so thank you
guys again for watching I believe in you
I hope you continue to believe in
yourself and whatever your one where it
is much love I’ll see you soon if you
had to think of one word that’s most
important to you that sums you Apple
that would be collect a little beacon
pay believe nation if you want to know
what the most important one word is for
Tony Robbins Gary Vaynerchuk Oprah
Winfrey will.i.am and Howard Schultz I
have a very special secret video for you
check the description for details
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