so I’m embarrassed that I have a career
I talk about things like trust and
cooperation and there should be no
demand for my work but the fact of the
matter is is there is demand for my work
which means that there’s an opportunity
it means that trust and cooperation are
not yet standard in our organizations
and yet they should be and we know that
which is why we’re looking for ways to
bring those things to our organizations
so I thought I would do something a
little different today you know when
you’re speaking to tens of thousands of
people and you have the opportunity to
share a message of course most rational
people would say let’s go with something
I’ve talked about lots of times and I’m
really good at but I’m not normal so I’m
gonna do something completely new and I
hope this works out there are two things
that I think that great leaders need to
have empathy and perspective and I think
these things are very often forgotten
leaders are so often so concerned about
their status of their position in the
organization they actually forget their
real job and the real job of a leader is
not about being in charge it’s about
taking care of those in our charge and I
don’t think people realize this and I
don’t think people train for this when
we’re junior our only responsibility is
to be good at our jobs that’s all we
really have to do and some people
actually go get advanced education and
so that they can be really good at their
jobs accountants or whatever right and
you show up and you work hard and the
company will give us tons and tons of
training how to do our jobs they’ll show
us how to use the software they’ll send
us away for a few days to get trained in
whatever it is that we’re doing for the
company and then they expect us to go be
good at our jobs and that’s what we do
we work very hard and if you’re good at
your job they’ll promote you and at some
point you’ll get promoted to position
where we’re now responsible for the
people who do the job we used to do but
nobody shows us how to do that and
that’s why we get managers and not
leaders
because the reason our managers are
micromanaging us is because they
actually do know how did you do the job
better than us that’s what got them
promoted really what we have to do is go
through a transition some people make it
quickly some people make it slowly and
unfortunately some people will never
make that transition at all which is we
have to go this through this transition
of being responsible for the job and
then turning into somebody who’s now
responsible for the people who are
responsible for the job and as I said
before one of the great things that is
lacking in most of our companies is that
they are not teaching us how to lead and
leadership is a skill like any other is
a practice’ balloon able skill and it is
something that you work on it’s like a
muscle if you practice it all the days
you will get good at it and you will get
to become a strong leader if you stop
practicing you will become a weak leader
like parenting everyone has the capacity
to be a parent doesn’t mean everybody
wants to be a parent and doesn’t mean
everybody should be a parent leadership
is the same we all have the capacity to
be a leader doesn’t mean everybody
should be a leader and it doesn’t mean
everybody wants to be a leader and the
reason is because it comes at great
personal sacrifice remember you’re not
in charge you’re responsible for those
in your charge that means things like
when everything goes right you have to
give away all the credit and when
everything goes wrong you have to take
all the responsibility that sucks right
it’s things like staying late to show
somebody what to do it’s things like
when something does actually break when
something goes wrong instead of yelling
and screaming and taking over you say
try again when the overwhelming
pressures are not on them the
overwhelming pressures are on us at the
end of the day great leaders are not
responsible for the job they’re
responsible for the people who
responsible for the job they’re not even
responsible for the results I love
talking to CEOs and say what’s your
priority and they put their hands on
their hips all proud and say my priority
is my customer I’m like really even talk
there’s no CEO on the planet responsible
for the customer they’re just not
they’re responsible for the people who
responsible for the people who
responsible for the customer I’ll tell
you a true story a few months ago I
stayed at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas
it is a wonderful hotel and the reason
it’s a wonderful hotel is not because of
the fancy beds any hotel can go and buy
a fancy bed
the reason it’s a wonderful hotel is
because of the people who work there
if you walk past somebody at the Four
Seasons than this and they say hello to
you you get the feeling that they
actually wanted to say hello to you it’s
not that somebody told them that you
have to say hello to all the customers
say hello to all the guests right you
actually feel that they care now in
their Lobby they have a coffee stand and
I one afternoon I went to buy a cup of
coffee and there was a barista by the
name of Noah who was serving me Noah was
fantastic he was friendly and fun and he
was engaging with me and I had so much
fun buying a cup of coffee I actually
think I gave a hundred percent tip right
he was wonderful so as is my nature I
asked Noah do you like your job and
without skipping a beat Noah says I love
my job and so I followed up I said what
is it that the four seasons is doing
that would make you say to me I love my
job and without skipping a beat Noah
said throughout the day managers will
walk past me and ask me how I’m doing if
there’s anything that I need to do my
job better
he said not just my manager any manager
and then he said something magical he
says I also work at Caesars Palace and
Caesars at Caesar’s Palace the managers
are trying to make sure we’re doing
everything right they catch us when we
do things wrong he says when I go to
work there I like to keep my head under
the radar and just get through the day
so I can get my paycheck he says here at
the Four Seasons I feel I can be myself
same person entirely a different
experience from the from the customer
who will engage with Noah so we in
leadership are always criticizing the
people we’re always saying we’ve got to
get the right people on
of us I’ve got to fill my trunk my team
I gotta get the right people but the
reality is it’s not the people it’s the
leadership if we create the right
environment we will get people like Noah
at the four seasons if we create the
wrong environment we will get people
like Noah at Caesar’s Palace it’s not
the people and yet we’re so quick to
hire and fire you can’t hire and fire
your children if there’s if your kids
are struggling we don’t say you got to
see at school you’re up for adoption so
why is it that when somebody has
performance problems at work why is it
that our instinct is to say you’re out
we do not practice empathy what does
empathy look like here’s the lack of
empathy this is normal in our business
world you walk into someone’s office
someone walks into our office and says
your numbers have been down for the
third quarter in a row you have to pick
up your numbers otherwise I can’t
guarantee what the future will look like
how inspired you think that person is to
come to work the next day here’s what
empathy looks like you walk into
someone’s office someone walks into your
office and says your numbers are down
for the third quarter in a row are you
okay
I’m worried about you what’s going on
we all have performance issues maybe
someone’s kid is sick maybe they having
problems in their marriage maybe one of
their parents is dying we don’t know
what’s going on in their lives and of
course it will affect performance at
work empathy is being concerned about
the human being not just their output we
have for some reason our work world has
changed in the past 20 and 30 years we
are suffering the side effects of
business theories left over from the 80s
and 90s and they are bad for people and
they are bad for business let me give
you an example the concept of
shareholder supremacy was a theory
proposed in the late 1970s and it was
popularized in the 80s and 90s it is now
standard form today you talk to any
public company and you ask them their
priority and they say maximize
shareholder value
really that’s like a coach prioritizing
the needs of the fans over the needs of
the players how you gonna build a
winning team with that model but that’s
normal today we don’t even perceive it
as broken or damaged or wrong or
outdated remember the 80s and 90s were
boom years with relative peace and a
kinder gentler cold war nobody was
practicing hiding under their desks in
school anymore we are no longer in those
times these are no longer boom years
these are no longer peaceful times and
those models cannot work today
here’s another one mass layoffs using
someone’s livelihood to balance the
books right it’s so normal in America
today that we don’t even understand how
broken and how damaging it is not only
to human beings but to business you know
companies talk about how they want to
build trust in cooperation then they
announce a round of layoffs do you know
the quickest way to destroy trust and
destroy cooperation in a business
literally in one day lay people off and
everyone gets scared all right can you
imagine sending someone home to say
honey I can no longer provide for our
family because the company missed its
arbitrary projections this year and
forget about the people who lost their
job think about the people who kept
their jobs because every single decision
a company makes as a piece of
communication and the company cut the
company has just communicated to
everybody else this is not a meritocracy
we don’t care how hard you work or how
long you’ve worked here if we miss our
numbers and you happen to fall on the
wrong side of the spreadsheet I’m sorry
we cannot guarantee employment in other
words we come to work every day afraid
and we’re asking our youngest generation
to work in environments where how would
any of us ever stand up and admit I made
a mistake
we’re custom being told you have to be
vulnerable leaders are vulnerable what
does that even mean it doesn’t mean you
walk around crying I’m vulnerable right
know what vulnerability means is you
create an environment in which someone
feels safe enough to raise their hand
and say
I don’t know what I’m doing you’ve given
me a job and I haven’t been trained to
do it
I need help I made a mistake
I screwed something up I’m scared
I’m worried all of these things no one
would ever admit inside a company
because it puts a target on your head in
case there’s another round and so we
keep it to ourselves and how can a
company ever do well if nobody’s ever
willing to admit they made a mistake
that’s scared or they don’t know what
they’re doing and so we’ve literally
created cultures in which every single
day everybody comes to work and liya hai
lies hides and fakes and we’re asking
our youngest generation to work and
succeed and find themselves and build
their confidence and overcome their
addiction to technology and build strong
relationships at work we’re asking to do
this and these lis environments we’ve
created we keep saying to them you’re
the future leaders we’re the leaders now
we’re in control what are we doing this
is what empathy means it means if
there’s an entire generation struggling
maybe it’s not them
it’s like you know the only thing that I
that the common factor in all my failed
relationships me same thing Oh II just
can’t get the right Apple you know the
right performance out of our people
maybe it’s you right
it’s not a generation it’s not them
they’re not difficult or hard to
understand they’re human beings like the
rest of us trying to find their way
trying to work in a place where they
feel that someone cares about them as a
human being by the way that’s what we
all want in other words it’s not even
generational it’s all of us this is the
practice of empathy that of wish
struggling to communicate to someone if
it’s struggling to help someone be at
their natural best I’m tired of people
saying to me how do I get the best out
of my people really that’s what you want
there like a towel just Wingham how can
get the most out of them know how do I
help my people be at their natural best
right we’re not asking these questions
we are not practicing empathy we have to
start by practicing empathy and real
late what they may be going through and
it will profoundly change the decisions
we make it will profoundly change the
way we see the world someone’s driving
to work you’re driving to work and
someone wants to cut into your lane what
do you do do you pull your car up would
you let them in most of us pull our cars
up and go like this you wait your turn
now let’s practice empathy I don’t know
maybe they’ve been out of work for six
months maybe they had trouble getting
the kids out to school this morning and
now they’re running late for a really
important interview and they just have
to get to this interview and they’re
gonna cut into our lane or maybe they’re
just a bastard I don’t know but that’s
the point we don’t know we don’t know
and the practice of empathy we’ll say
I’ll let them in and I’ll arrive to work
one car lengths late right we don’t
always have to be right we’d always have
to be in charge we don’t have to be the
one who succeeds it’s not about winning
or losing
and that’s where I go to the second
point after empathy comes perspective
where it’s not about winning or losing
in game theory there are two kinds of
games there are finite games and there
are infinite games and this is how
you’re gonna change your perspective
right a finite game is defined as known
players fixed rules and an agreed upon
objective baseball for example we know
the rules we all agree to the rules and
whoever has more runs at the end of nine
innings is the winner and the game is
over no one ever says if we can just
play two more innings I know we can come
back doesn’t work that way the game is
over right that’s a finite game then you
have an infinite game infinite games are
defined as known and unknown players the
rules are changeable and the objective
is to keep the game in play to
perpetuate the game when you pit a
finite player versus a finite player
this system is stable
baseball is stable right when you pit an
infant an infinite player versus an
infinite player this system is also
stable like
the Cold War for example because there
cannot be a winner and a loser there are
no winners and losers in an infinite
game right it doesn’t exist and because
there are no winners or losers what ends
up happening in the infinite contest is
players drop out when they run out of
the will or the resources to play but
there’s no winners or losers problems
arise when you pit a finite player
versus an infinite player because in a
finite player is playing to win and an
infinite player is to playing to keep
the game going right this is what
happened to us in Vietnam we were
playing to win and the Vietnamese were
fighting for their lives we were the
ones who got stuck in quagmire this is
the Soviet Union in Afghanistan they
were trying to beat the Mujahideen and
the Mujahideen would fight for as long
as is necessary quagmire now let’s look
at business the game of business has
pre-existed or has existed long before
every single company that exists on this
planet today and it will outlast every
single company that it lives that exist
on this planet today there’s no winning
the game of business and the reason is
is because we haven’t agreed to the
rules I get such a kick out of this you
realize how many companies actually
don’t know the game they’re in right
listen to the language of the companies
use we’re trying to beat our competition
we’re trying to be number one did you
know that we were ranked number one look
at the listing based on what criteria
revenues profits market share square
footage number of employees based on
what time frame a quarter a year five
years ten years 20 years 50 years 100
years I haven’t agreed to those
standards
how can you declare yourself the winner
how can you declare yourself number one
where no one else in the game has agreed
to the rules it’s arbitrary
there is no winning because there’s no
end in other words companies are playing
finite games listen to their language
they’re trying to beat their competition
what does that even mean
it’s the leaders and the companies that
understand the game that they’re in and
organize their resources and their
decision-making around the infinite
contest that outlast and frustrate their
competition all the companies that we’ve
referred to as the exceptions
Southwest Airlines Apple computers
harley-davidson they’re the exception no
they’re playing the infinite contest
they frustrate their competition is what
happens that’s what happens because
they’re not playing to win
Jim Senegal the founder of Costco which
is the company only real company that
gives Walmart a run for its money
he says public companies are looking to
succeed for the quarter says we’re
looking for the next 50 years you could
hear him he’s playing the infinite
contest I spoke at a Leadership Summit
for Microsoft I also spoke at a
Leadership Summit for Apple now at the
Microsoft summit I would say 70% of the
executives and this was under the Steve
Ballmer days I would say about 70% of
the executives spend about 70% of their
presentations talking about how to beat
Apple at the Apple Summit a hundred
percent of the executives spent a
hundred percent of their presentations
talking about how to help teachers teach
and how to help students learn one was
obsessed with their competition
the other one was obsessed with where
they’re going so at the end of my
presentation at Microsoft they gave me a
gift they gave me the new Zune which was
the competitor to the iPod touch when it
was a thing right and I have to tell you
this piece of technology was spectacular
it was beautiful the user interface was
incredible the design was amazing it was
intuitive it was one of the most
beautiful elegant pieces of technology
I’d ever seen right now.they it didn’t
work with iTunes which is an entirely
but that’s something else I’m sitting in
the back of a taxi with a senior Apple
executive sort of employee number twelve
kind of guy and I decide to stir the pot
and I turned him I say you know I spoke
at a Microsoft summit and they gave me
their new Zune and I have to tell you it
is so much better than your iPod touch
and he turned to me and said I have no
doubt conversation over because the
infinite player isn’t playing to be
number one every day with every product
they’re playing to outlast the
competition if I had said to Microsoft
oh I’ve got the new iPod touch it’s so
much better than your new Zune it wasn’t
can we see it what does it do how we
have to see it because one is obsessed
with their competition the other is
obsessed with why they do what they do
the other is obsessed with where they’re
going and the reason Apple frustrates
their competition is because secretly
they’re not even competing against them
they’re competing against themselves and
they understand that sometimes you’re a
little bit ahead and sometimes you’re a
little bit behind and sometimes your
product is better and sometimes you’re
not but if you wake up every single
morning and compete against yourself how
do I make our products better than they
were yesterday how do I take care of our
customers better than we did yesterday
how do we advance our cause more
efficiently more productively than we
did yesterday how do we find new
solutions to advance our calling our
cause our purpose our belief are why
every single day what you’ll find is
over time you will probably be ahead
more often those who play the infinite
game understand it’s not about the
battle it’s about the war and they don’t
play to win every day and they frustrate
their competition until their
competition drops out of the game every
single bankruptcy almost every merger
and acquisition is basically a company
saying we no longer have the will or the
resources to continue to play and we
have no choice to either drop out of the
game
or merge our resources with another
player so that we can stay in the game
that’s what that is and if you think
about the number of bankruptcies and
mergers and acquisitions it’s kind of
proof that most companies don’t even
know the game they’re in you want to be
a great leader start with empathy you
want a group be a great leader change
your perspective and play the game you’re actually playing
I talk about things like trust and
cooperation and there should be no
demand for my work but the fact of the
matter is is there is demand for my work
which means that there’s an opportunity
it means that trust and cooperation are
not yet standard in our organizations
and yet they should be and we know that
which is why we’re looking for ways to
bring those things to our organizations
so I thought I would do something a
little different today you know when
you’re speaking to tens of thousands of
people and you have the opportunity to
share a message of course most rational
people would say let’s go with something
I’ve talked about lots of times and I’m
really good at but I’m not normal so I’m
gonna do something completely new and I
hope this works out there are two things
that I think that great leaders need to
have empathy and perspective and I think
these things are very often forgotten
leaders are so often so concerned about
their status of their position in the
organization they actually forget their
real job and the real job of a leader is
not about being in charge it’s about
taking care of those in our charge and I
don’t think people realize this and I
don’t think people train for this when
we’re junior our only responsibility is
to be good at our jobs that’s all we
really have to do and some people
actually go get advanced education and
so that they can be really good at their
jobs accountants or whatever right and
you show up and you work hard and the
company will give us tons and tons of
training how to do our jobs they’ll show
us how to use the software they’ll send
us away for a few days to get trained in
whatever it is that we’re doing for the
company and then they expect us to go be
good at our jobs and that’s what we do
we work very hard and if you’re good at
your job they’ll promote you and at some
point you’ll get promoted to position
where we’re now responsible for the
people who do the job we used to do but
nobody shows us how to do that and
that’s why we get managers and not
leaders
because the reason our managers are
micromanaging us is because they
actually do know how did you do the job
better than us that’s what got them
promoted really what we have to do is go
through a transition some people make it
quickly some people make it slowly and
unfortunately some people will never
make that transition at all which is we
have to go this through this transition
of being responsible for the job and
then turning into somebody who’s now
responsible for the people who are
responsible for the job and as I said
before one of the great things that is
lacking in most of our companies is that
they are not teaching us how to lead and
leadership is a skill like any other is
a practice’ balloon able skill and it is
something that you work on it’s like a
muscle if you practice it all the days
you will get good at it and you will get
to become a strong leader if you stop
practicing you will become a weak leader
like parenting everyone has the capacity
to be a parent doesn’t mean everybody
wants to be a parent and doesn’t mean
everybody should be a parent leadership
is the same we all have the capacity to
be a leader doesn’t mean everybody
should be a leader and it doesn’t mean
everybody wants to be a leader and the
reason is because it comes at great
personal sacrifice remember you’re not
in charge you’re responsible for those
in your charge that means things like
when everything goes right you have to
give away all the credit and when
everything goes wrong you have to take
all the responsibility that sucks right
it’s things like staying late to show
somebody what to do it’s things like
when something does actually break when
something goes wrong instead of yelling
and screaming and taking over you say
try again when the overwhelming
pressures are not on them the
overwhelming pressures are on us at the
end of the day great leaders are not
responsible for the job they’re
responsible for the people who
responsible for the job they’re not even
responsible for the results I love
talking to CEOs and say what’s your
priority and they put their hands on
their hips all proud and say my priority
is my customer I’m like really even talk
there’s no CEO on the planet responsible
for the customer they’re just not
they’re responsible for the people who
responsible for the people who
responsible for the customer I’ll tell
you a true story a few months ago I
stayed at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas
it is a wonderful hotel and the reason
it’s a wonderful hotel is not because of
the fancy beds any hotel can go and buy
a fancy bed
the reason it’s a wonderful hotel is
because of the people who work there
if you walk past somebody at the Four
Seasons than this and they say hello to
you you get the feeling that they
actually wanted to say hello to you it’s
not that somebody told them that you
have to say hello to all the customers
say hello to all the guests right you
actually feel that they care now in
their Lobby they have a coffee stand and
I one afternoon I went to buy a cup of
coffee and there was a barista by the
name of Noah who was serving me Noah was
fantastic he was friendly and fun and he
was engaging with me and I had so much
fun buying a cup of coffee I actually
think I gave a hundred percent tip right
he was wonderful so as is my nature I
asked Noah do you like your job and
without skipping a beat Noah says I love
my job and so I followed up I said what
is it that the four seasons is doing
that would make you say to me I love my
job and without skipping a beat Noah
said throughout the day managers will
walk past me and ask me how I’m doing if
there’s anything that I need to do my
job better
he said not just my manager any manager
and then he said something magical he
says I also work at Caesars Palace and
Caesars at Caesar’s Palace the managers
are trying to make sure we’re doing
everything right they catch us when we
do things wrong he says when I go to
work there I like to keep my head under
the radar and just get through the day
so I can get my paycheck he says here at
the Four Seasons I feel I can be myself
same person entirely a different
experience from the from the customer
who will engage with Noah so we in
leadership are always criticizing the
people we’re always saying we’ve got to
get the right people on
of us I’ve got to fill my trunk my team
I gotta get the right people but the
reality is it’s not the people it’s the
leadership if we create the right
environment we will get people like Noah
at the four seasons if we create the
wrong environment we will get people
like Noah at Caesar’s Palace it’s not
the people and yet we’re so quick to
hire and fire you can’t hire and fire
your children if there’s if your kids
are struggling we don’t say you got to
see at school you’re up for adoption so
why is it that when somebody has
performance problems at work why is it
that our instinct is to say you’re out
we do not practice empathy what does
empathy look like here’s the lack of
empathy this is normal in our business
world you walk into someone’s office
someone walks into our office and says
your numbers have been down for the
third quarter in a row you have to pick
up your numbers otherwise I can’t
guarantee what the future will look like
how inspired you think that person is to
come to work the next day here’s what
empathy looks like you walk into
someone’s office someone walks into your
office and says your numbers are down
for the third quarter in a row are you
okay
I’m worried about you what’s going on
we all have performance issues maybe
someone’s kid is sick maybe they having
problems in their marriage maybe one of
their parents is dying we don’t know
what’s going on in their lives and of
course it will affect performance at
work empathy is being concerned about
the human being not just their output we
have for some reason our work world has
changed in the past 20 and 30 years we
are suffering the side effects of
business theories left over from the 80s
and 90s and they are bad for people and
they are bad for business let me give
you an example the concept of
shareholder supremacy was a theory
proposed in the late 1970s and it was
popularized in the 80s and 90s it is now
standard form today you talk to any
public company and you ask them their
priority and they say maximize
shareholder value
really that’s like a coach prioritizing
the needs of the fans over the needs of
the players how you gonna build a
winning team with that model but that’s
normal today we don’t even perceive it
as broken or damaged or wrong or
outdated remember the 80s and 90s were
boom years with relative peace and a
kinder gentler cold war nobody was
practicing hiding under their desks in
school anymore we are no longer in those
times these are no longer boom years
these are no longer peaceful times and
those models cannot work today
here’s another one mass layoffs using
someone’s livelihood to balance the
books right it’s so normal in America
today that we don’t even understand how
broken and how damaging it is not only
to human beings but to business you know
companies talk about how they want to
build trust in cooperation then they
announce a round of layoffs do you know
the quickest way to destroy trust and
destroy cooperation in a business
literally in one day lay people off and
everyone gets scared all right can you
imagine sending someone home to say
honey I can no longer provide for our
family because the company missed its
arbitrary projections this year and
forget about the people who lost their
job think about the people who kept
their jobs because every single decision
a company makes as a piece of
communication and the company cut the
company has just communicated to
everybody else this is not a meritocracy
we don’t care how hard you work or how
long you’ve worked here if we miss our
numbers and you happen to fall on the
wrong side of the spreadsheet I’m sorry
we cannot guarantee employment in other
words we come to work every day afraid
and we’re asking our youngest generation
to work in environments where how would
any of us ever stand up and admit I made
a mistake
we’re custom being told you have to be
vulnerable leaders are vulnerable what
does that even mean it doesn’t mean you
walk around crying I’m vulnerable right
know what vulnerability means is you
create an environment in which someone
feels safe enough to raise their hand
and say
I don’t know what I’m doing you’ve given
me a job and I haven’t been trained to
do it
I need help I made a mistake
I screwed something up I’m scared
I’m worried all of these things no one
would ever admit inside a company
because it puts a target on your head in
case there’s another round and so we
keep it to ourselves and how can a
company ever do well if nobody’s ever
willing to admit they made a mistake
that’s scared or they don’t know what
they’re doing and so we’ve literally
created cultures in which every single
day everybody comes to work and liya hai
lies hides and fakes and we’re asking
our youngest generation to work and
succeed and find themselves and build
their confidence and overcome their
addiction to technology and build strong
relationships at work we’re asking to do
this and these lis environments we’ve
created we keep saying to them you’re
the future leaders we’re the leaders now
we’re in control what are we doing this
is what empathy means it means if
there’s an entire generation struggling
maybe it’s not them
it’s like you know the only thing that I
that the common factor in all my failed
relationships me same thing Oh II just
can’t get the right Apple you know the
right performance out of our people
maybe it’s you right
it’s not a generation it’s not them
they’re not difficult or hard to
understand they’re human beings like the
rest of us trying to find their way
trying to work in a place where they
feel that someone cares about them as a
human being by the way that’s what we
all want in other words it’s not even
generational it’s all of us this is the
practice of empathy that of wish
struggling to communicate to someone if
it’s struggling to help someone be at
their natural best I’m tired of people
saying to me how do I get the best out
of my people really that’s what you want
there like a towel just Wingham how can
get the most out of them know how do I
help my people be at their natural best
right we’re not asking these questions
we are not practicing empathy we have to
start by practicing empathy and real
late what they may be going through and
it will profoundly change the decisions
we make it will profoundly change the
way we see the world someone’s driving
to work you’re driving to work and
someone wants to cut into your lane what
do you do do you pull your car up would
you let them in most of us pull our cars
up and go like this you wait your turn
now let’s practice empathy I don’t know
maybe they’ve been out of work for six
months maybe they had trouble getting
the kids out to school this morning and
now they’re running late for a really
important interview and they just have
to get to this interview and they’re
gonna cut into our lane or maybe they’re
just a bastard I don’t know but that’s
the point we don’t know we don’t know
and the practice of empathy we’ll say
I’ll let them in and I’ll arrive to work
one car lengths late right we don’t
always have to be right we’d always have
to be in charge we don’t have to be the
one who succeeds it’s not about winning
or losing
and that’s where I go to the second
point after empathy comes perspective
where it’s not about winning or losing
in game theory there are two kinds of
games there are finite games and there
are infinite games and this is how
you’re gonna change your perspective
right a finite game is defined as known
players fixed rules and an agreed upon
objective baseball for example we know
the rules we all agree to the rules and
whoever has more runs at the end of nine
innings is the winner and the game is
over no one ever says if we can just
play two more innings I know we can come
back doesn’t work that way the game is
over right that’s a finite game then you
have an infinite game infinite games are
defined as known and unknown players the
rules are changeable and the objective
is to keep the game in play to
perpetuate the game when you pit a
finite player versus a finite player
this system is stable
baseball is stable right when you pit an
infant an infinite player versus an
infinite player this system is also
stable like
the Cold War for example because there
cannot be a winner and a loser there are
no winners and losers in an infinite
game right it doesn’t exist and because
there are no winners or losers what ends
up happening in the infinite contest is
players drop out when they run out of
the will or the resources to play but
there’s no winners or losers problems
arise when you pit a finite player
versus an infinite player because in a
finite player is playing to win and an
infinite player is to playing to keep
the game going right this is what
happened to us in Vietnam we were
playing to win and the Vietnamese were
fighting for their lives we were the
ones who got stuck in quagmire this is
the Soviet Union in Afghanistan they
were trying to beat the Mujahideen and
the Mujahideen would fight for as long
as is necessary quagmire now let’s look
at business the game of business has
pre-existed or has existed long before
every single company that exists on this
planet today and it will outlast every
single company that it lives that exist
on this planet today there’s no winning
the game of business and the reason is
is because we haven’t agreed to the
rules I get such a kick out of this you
realize how many companies actually
don’t know the game they’re in right
listen to the language of the companies
use we’re trying to beat our competition
we’re trying to be number one did you
know that we were ranked number one look
at the listing based on what criteria
revenues profits market share square
footage number of employees based on
what time frame a quarter a year five
years ten years 20 years 50 years 100
years I haven’t agreed to those
standards
how can you declare yourself the winner
how can you declare yourself number one
where no one else in the game has agreed
to the rules it’s arbitrary
there is no winning because there’s no
end in other words companies are playing
finite games listen to their language
they’re trying to beat their competition
what does that even mean
it’s the leaders and the companies that
understand the game that they’re in and
organize their resources and their
decision-making around the infinite
contest that outlast and frustrate their
competition all the companies that we’ve
referred to as the exceptions
Southwest Airlines Apple computers
harley-davidson they’re the exception no
they’re playing the infinite contest
they frustrate their competition is what
happens that’s what happens because
they’re not playing to win
Jim Senegal the founder of Costco which
is the company only real company that
gives Walmart a run for its money
he says public companies are looking to
succeed for the quarter says we’re
looking for the next 50 years you could
hear him he’s playing the infinite
contest I spoke at a Leadership Summit
for Microsoft I also spoke at a
Leadership Summit for Apple now at the
Microsoft summit I would say 70% of the
executives and this was under the Steve
Ballmer days I would say about 70% of
the executives spend about 70% of their
presentations talking about how to beat
Apple at the Apple Summit a hundred
percent of the executives spent a
hundred percent of their presentations
talking about how to help teachers teach
and how to help students learn one was
obsessed with their competition
the other one was obsessed with where
they’re going so at the end of my
presentation at Microsoft they gave me a
gift they gave me the new Zune which was
the competitor to the iPod touch when it
was a thing right and I have to tell you
this piece of technology was spectacular
it was beautiful the user interface was
incredible the design was amazing it was
intuitive it was one of the most
beautiful elegant pieces of technology
I’d ever seen right now.they it didn’t
work with iTunes which is an entirely
but that’s something else I’m sitting in
the back of a taxi with a senior Apple
executive sort of employee number twelve
kind of guy and I decide to stir the pot
and I turned him I say you know I spoke
at a Microsoft summit and they gave me
their new Zune and I have to tell you it
is so much better than your iPod touch
and he turned to me and said I have no
doubt conversation over because the
infinite player isn’t playing to be
number one every day with every product
they’re playing to outlast the
competition if I had said to Microsoft
oh I’ve got the new iPod touch it’s so
much better than your new Zune it wasn’t
can we see it what does it do how we
have to see it because one is obsessed
with their competition the other is
obsessed with why they do what they do
the other is obsessed with where they’re
going and the reason Apple frustrates
their competition is because secretly
they’re not even competing against them
they’re competing against themselves and
they understand that sometimes you’re a
little bit ahead and sometimes you’re a
little bit behind and sometimes your
product is better and sometimes you’re
not but if you wake up every single
morning and compete against yourself how
do I make our products better than they
were yesterday how do I take care of our
customers better than we did yesterday
how do we advance our cause more
efficiently more productively than we
did yesterday how do we find new
solutions to advance our calling our
cause our purpose our belief are why
every single day what you’ll find is
over time you will probably be ahead
more often those who play the infinite
game understand it’s not about the
battle it’s about the war and they don’t
play to win every day and they frustrate
their competition until their
competition drops out of the game every
single bankruptcy almost every merger
and acquisition is basically a company
saying we no longer have the will or the
resources to continue to play and we
have no choice to either drop out of the
game
or merge our resources with another
player so that we can stay in the game
that’s what that is and if you think
about the number of bankruptcies and
mergers and acquisitions it’s kind of
proof that most companies don’t even
know the game they’re in you want to be
a great leader start with empathy you
want a group be a great leader change
your perspective and play the game you’re actually playing
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