you’re gonna get out of your life where
you’ll accept stop trying to convince
everybody of what you’re saying people
do not need to believe what you’re
saying they need to believe you believe
what you’re saying it’s along the same
vein really as getting what you’ll
tolerate so there’s this misnomer and
you’ve watched this even in your own
life for the successful people you’ve
interviewed so there’s this thing people
think that like I’ll be happy when once
I get like this big amazing home or once
I get this car or once I get this
relationship or an amount of money then
I’ll allow myself some happiness the
problem is the finish line always moves
you never arrive there right the other
part is people think well if I enjoy
myself now I’m gonna lose my drive in
other words if I can just wire myself
with enough pain all the time I won’t
lose my driver ambition the truth is
there’s no correlation between the two
at all there’s no relationship between
you feeling complete pain all the time
and losing drive and so I talked about
living in a state of blissful
dissatisfaction and really the best
example of that would be like if you’ve
ever I love a good meal right you know
if I bite into a great piece of steak if
you’re a steak eater like I am you take
that first bite it’s like complete bliss
right there’s no correlation between how
great that tasted and your lack of
desire for the next bite in fact that
bliss causes you to want more of it and
so the more we can bin to a reward
ourselves with bliss we’re not gonna
lose our dissatisfaction we’re not gonna
we’re not gonna lose that and so for me
our brains this dopamine hit you get
when you do something successful if you
constantly cheat yourself out of that
get right biomechanically in your body
less and less in the future where you
want to achieve the next level the next
dream the next step and that’s why so
many people stall out in life they
didn’t they got to a certain point and
they cheated themselves out of the bliss
out of the celebration it’s important
that we celebrate our wins we celebrate
our lives because it causes us to want
the next bite it keeps us hungrier not
the reverse and so for me I want to live
in a state of being grateful and
blissful now not waiting for some future
place or date that may never arise I
talk a lot about so 8020 Reisman 80% of
my time thinking about the things that
are amazing in my life that I’m grateful
for the
beautiful things that I want to build
and create but I also spend 20% of my
time kicking myself in the ass because
otherwise you get really stagnant but
the feedback that I get from people is
they end up going down a dark path like
how do you help people not begin to
erode their self-confidence and and
maybe the right place to start with that
is where does self confidence come from
it’s important because there’s no
relationship between that and eroding
your self-confidence in other words self
confidence is really self trust so the
first thing is the people I know that
are really happy are very self-aware in
fact the best entrepreneurs I know are
very self-aware they’re aware of their
shortcomings right they want to improve
them they want to get to the next
version of themselves all the time and
so for me self confidence comes because
I didn’t have it and I think anytime you
meet somebody like yourself or myself
who might now appear self confident it’s
because I really had to find tools and
resources because I was so insecure and
shy and introverted
so I had to find techniques and
resources to build that up in me and for
me it’s very simple it’s the promises
that I keep to myself if I have a habit
over and over if you need to stack one
on top of the other of keeping promises
I make to me not other people in other
words the minute you begin to get
external in your life worrying about
what other people think about you right
you’ve out you’ve lost all control you
and it never fills you up and people’s
admiration people’s gratitude towards
you will never fill you up it’s your own
it’s your own inside and so for me self
confidence comes from keeping the
promises I make to myself and the other
part of it is being aware I’m doing it
in other words most people don’t give
themselves enough credit all the time
they’re very aware of these 20 percent
things and not aware of the 80 right and
that’s why the dosage is so important to
you’ve nailed it it should be 80/20
right because people get addicted to
this I’m not good at this people don’t
like this about me I don’t feel good if
instead of focusing on the 80 and
stacking it up wow I did eat what I said
I was going to today I did get up when I
said I was going to I made the amount of
phone calls I treated people in such a
way I promised myself it’s not just
doing those things it’s rewarding it
it’s being aware of it and stacking that
up when I work with athletes the
successful athletes I work with when
they’re in a slump it’s never that they
can’t hit a ball
wurst make a shot or swing a golf club
they’ve lost their self-confidence
somewhere along the way they’ve lost the
ability to focus on the things they are
great at and stacking those promises
they making themselves and the way I get
them to break their slump is not
correcting their swing or getting them
positive it’s getting them to
acknowledge the small promises showing
up the batting practice early hitting
that extra bucket of balls beginning to
reward themselves for the extra promises
they keep to themselves
puts them back in a state of self
confidence all of a sudden they’re
hitting the ball grading how did you
begin to build yourself confidence when
like you’re teaching people how to do
something that you don’t you haven’t
actually done in your life which like
that moment is where most people get
trapped right they see you now
successful and they just write you off a
little bit because it’s like what you’ve
done it but if they can see you at that
moment and understand what you’re
telling yourself
mm-hmm and and get to like the the
reality of your velcroing your car to
look like a Mercedes right so there’s
this really weird like you’re not quite
like just fully accepting where you are
but yet you really do accomplish it if
we really go back and we look at it I
had a couple good things happen for me
or to me one was at that time my wife
did get frank with me this is not who
you are this is not what you’re about I
don’t recognize this person this is who
you are and I had an other person to my
benefit pointing out to me the things
that were great about me
and this is gonna sound hokey but I’m
gonna give you the big one and this is
why life gives you these great tests I
had a really good friend of mine I went
to lunch and he said yeah I don’t know
who this guy is here in front of me and
he goes let me ask you a question
honestly right now what are you grateful
for and at the lunch I said jack
nothing brother there’s nothing good in
my life right now and I’m not
exaggerating this to you when I tell you
this and this is a factual story as I’m
mouthing these words two people walked
in with an older man both of them
clearly were fighting cancer somehow
both had lost their hair one of the
ladies had a bonnet on and they were
barely moving in both walked by our
table and gave me the most warm greeting
the warmest smile as a stranger and he
goes that’s pretty freaking pathetic you
can’t find anything in your life to be
grateful for right now and on the drive
home I’m not kidding you I started this
gratitude I started to taking inventory
because if you can find things to be
grateful for in that space man as your
life going to be rich when there really
are external things to be grateful for
so my first mechanism out of that space
was honestly to stack the things I was
grateful for and I started reinforcing
it over and over and over again and what
happens is there’s this reticular
activating system in our brains right
and all of a sudden because that’s the
messaging I was giving myself all of a
sudden all these things start to come
into my awareness that I’m grateful for
I start to magnetized to myself some
people that I needed to find into my
life and that was the next layer I
started to see things to be grateful for
my health my fitness people who loved me
what it is it changed my state when I
stacked gratitude I changed what I did
in the morning and I changed what I did
in the evening and so somehow by
grabbing control of my morning and by
grabbing control of my evening I got
some measure of control over the middle
of my day I wasn’t out of control person
back in those days meaning this I woke
up worried stressed fearful and I
immediately started thinking about a
bill I had to pay something that was
wrong and I’m in a state of reaction to
begin every sound talk within six
minutes of waking up six seconds most
people listening this that’s what they
do I said I got to grab control of my
morning and I set up routines in my
morning
maybe they served me maybe they didn’t
but they were things I could deliver on
doing for myself and so not only did
that give me control over the day but I
started to stack my self-confidence too
and what were some of those things that
you grabbed onto huge so and I have a
bad about pitching this but I do have
audios out on this stuff too that people
can go get for free but right by the way
are amazing thank you man
thanks 100% I really hope people dive in
like your content is incredible thank
you so is yours which is why I wanted to
find you
and it’s I’ve been for a long time
wanted to be in your presence so my
morning routines are really detailed I
get up and I hydrate the second thing I
do every morning is I do something cold
something cold so whether that’s I jump
in the ocean because now I live in the
ocean but in those days it was taking a
cold shower or splashes with cold water
in my face or walking out when it was
cold it shocks our nervous system our
fight-or-flight kicks in we’re at a
cellular electric alive state I
obviously do some prayer and meditation
every single morning I’ve still not
touched my tell
so there’s a rule there’s 30 minutes I
cannot touch my telephone when I wake up
that’s the hardest thing to do in the
world and the thing that could benefit
you the most because what’s ever on that
phone you have to react to and typically
it’s stuff that’s not great and so I
don’t touch that I do my meditation on
my prayer and I do some stretching I do
some breathing exercises and then at
that point I allow myself to enter the
world after I’ve got my state control
and I work out every morning except for
Sunday so I work out every morning talk
to me about working out that’s something
that completely changed my life
obviously and and every time somebody
asks me a question about you know how do
I I’m lost I feel you know completely
out of control I don’t have confidence
my answer is work out me too
so why well I think everything in our
body everything in our life starts with
our body if you’re a person of faith you
believe that’s where your soul is housed
right and so it’s the you you do
emotions you don’t just feel them you do
them in other words and you know this
from things you’ve learned in your life
but like joy is an actual action not
just an emotion we feel a certain Joy’s
of certain breathing a certain movement
in our body depression and sadness is
something we do were more hunched over
our breathing is more shallow right and
so there’s a correlation between the way
you move your body and your emotions
they’re directly this is even before we
get to dopamine hits and our nervous
system being I’m just telling you that
the way you move your body is an emotion
you do emotions and so when you move
your body you can’t be in full workout
mode moving your body running walking
jumping jacks jump rope and be depressed
they don’t go together Simon Says
because your body doesn’t get the
connection I’m moving like I’m joyful
I’m moving like I’m having sex I’m
moving like I’m happy these are all
joyful states you can’t be depressed
simultaneously so the quickest way to
change our behavior our emotions in our
state is with our body all right now
let’s talk about the like n sets the
ones that really burn and really hurt
one thing that I found is and you’ve
talked about this with entrepreneurship
and generally said it’s the the greatest
like self-awareness mechanism you’re
gonna find out who you are what you’re
capable of how hard you’re willing to
push do most people though getting into
that position like it’s hard right that
that’s a sort of a bridge too far yes
but
when you start in the gym and it’s like
do I do this extra set or not do I push
myself do I do an extra exercise you
going back to confidence and self trust
it’s like you begin to learn something
about yourself
I’m stealing that from you no please
meant and that like legitimately changed
my life and so when I when I see guys
that are successful entrepreneurs and
they’re jacked yeah that never surprises
me either so I play these very strange
games with myself when I’m at the gym
when I’m working out I always do one
extra rep one extra set because it it’s
a promise I kept to myself and here’s
the biggest thing it’s a pattern it’s a
pattern I keep of me I always do a
little extra I always go the extra inch
and the quickest and easiest place to do
it is the gym because I can always grab
one more weight one more set and it was
what it does it shifts your identity I
was at the gym yesterday and a woman
drove by me in a wheelchair at the gym I
was working out pretty hard and she
wheeled by me heavyset lady in a
wheelchair I’d be honest with you I
watched her wheel past me she inspired
me you know what courage it takes to get
in your wheelchair inside I’m gonna go
to the gym right I’m gonna go to the gym
she’s heavyset awkward that inspired me
far more than the jacked up dude doing
60 pound curls I mean that’s inspiring
but you see that a woman in a wheelchair
at a gym with her two pound dumbbells
because her legs don’t work but she went
in there anyway and you know how
unsecure she was about going in there
she’s the only person in a wheelchair
she doesn’t know what she’s gonna see
how people are gonna react to her she’s
not in shape just never full makeup on
and her little you know halter top like
the other girls in there and she’s right
in there she was right in there working
out right next to them right I couldn’t
take my eyes off her I couldn’t take my
eyes off her and I ended up telling her
she’s leaving I left what I was doing I
walked over ice I just want you to know
something you’re inspiring me this is
wonderful her face just lit up
you know how such how insecure she was
about being in their most inspiring
persons one overcoming the fear of doing something not the person who’s excellent
you’ll accept stop trying to convince
everybody of what you’re saying people
do not need to believe what you’re
saying they need to believe you believe
what you’re saying it’s along the same
vein really as getting what you’ll
tolerate so there’s this misnomer and
you’ve watched this even in your own
life for the successful people you’ve
interviewed so there’s this thing people
think that like I’ll be happy when once
I get like this big amazing home or once
I get this car or once I get this
relationship or an amount of money then
I’ll allow myself some happiness the
problem is the finish line always moves
you never arrive there right the other
part is people think well if I enjoy
myself now I’m gonna lose my drive in
other words if I can just wire myself
with enough pain all the time I won’t
lose my driver ambition the truth is
there’s no correlation between the two
at all there’s no relationship between
you feeling complete pain all the time
and losing drive and so I talked about
living in a state of blissful
dissatisfaction and really the best
example of that would be like if you’ve
ever I love a good meal right you know
if I bite into a great piece of steak if
you’re a steak eater like I am you take
that first bite it’s like complete bliss
right there’s no correlation between how
great that tasted and your lack of
desire for the next bite in fact that
bliss causes you to want more of it and
so the more we can bin to a reward
ourselves with bliss we’re not gonna
lose our dissatisfaction we’re not gonna
we’re not gonna lose that and so for me
our brains this dopamine hit you get
when you do something successful if you
constantly cheat yourself out of that
get right biomechanically in your body
less and less in the future where you
want to achieve the next level the next
dream the next step and that’s why so
many people stall out in life they
didn’t they got to a certain point and
they cheated themselves out of the bliss
out of the celebration it’s important
that we celebrate our wins we celebrate
our lives because it causes us to want
the next bite it keeps us hungrier not
the reverse and so for me I want to live
in a state of being grateful and
blissful now not waiting for some future
place or date that may never arise I
talk a lot about so 8020 Reisman 80% of
my time thinking about the things that
are amazing in my life that I’m grateful
for the
beautiful things that I want to build
and create but I also spend 20% of my
time kicking myself in the ass because
otherwise you get really stagnant but
the feedback that I get from people is
they end up going down a dark path like
how do you help people not begin to
erode their self-confidence and and
maybe the right place to start with that
is where does self confidence come from
it’s important because there’s no
relationship between that and eroding
your self-confidence in other words self
confidence is really self trust so the
first thing is the people I know that
are really happy are very self-aware in
fact the best entrepreneurs I know are
very self-aware they’re aware of their
shortcomings right they want to improve
them they want to get to the next
version of themselves all the time and
so for me self confidence comes because
I didn’t have it and I think anytime you
meet somebody like yourself or myself
who might now appear self confident it’s
because I really had to find tools and
resources because I was so insecure and
shy and introverted
so I had to find techniques and
resources to build that up in me and for
me it’s very simple it’s the promises
that I keep to myself if I have a habit
over and over if you need to stack one
on top of the other of keeping promises
I make to me not other people in other
words the minute you begin to get
external in your life worrying about
what other people think about you right
you’ve out you’ve lost all control you
and it never fills you up and people’s
admiration people’s gratitude towards
you will never fill you up it’s your own
it’s your own inside and so for me self
confidence comes from keeping the
promises I make to myself and the other
part of it is being aware I’m doing it
in other words most people don’t give
themselves enough credit all the time
they’re very aware of these 20 percent
things and not aware of the 80 right and
that’s why the dosage is so important to
you’ve nailed it it should be 80/20
right because people get addicted to
this I’m not good at this people don’t
like this about me I don’t feel good if
instead of focusing on the 80 and
stacking it up wow I did eat what I said
I was going to today I did get up when I
said I was going to I made the amount of
phone calls I treated people in such a
way I promised myself it’s not just
doing those things it’s rewarding it
it’s being aware of it and stacking that
up when I work with athletes the
successful athletes I work with when
they’re in a slump it’s never that they
can’t hit a ball
wurst make a shot or swing a golf club
they’ve lost their self-confidence
somewhere along the way they’ve lost the
ability to focus on the things they are
great at and stacking those promises
they making themselves and the way I get
them to break their slump is not
correcting their swing or getting them
positive it’s getting them to
acknowledge the small promises showing
up the batting practice early hitting
that extra bucket of balls beginning to
reward themselves for the extra promises
they keep to themselves
puts them back in a state of self
confidence all of a sudden they’re
hitting the ball grading how did you
begin to build yourself confidence when
like you’re teaching people how to do
something that you don’t you haven’t
actually done in your life which like
that moment is where most people get
trapped right they see you now
successful and they just write you off a
little bit because it’s like what you’ve
done it but if they can see you at that
moment and understand what you’re
telling yourself
mm-hmm and and get to like the the
reality of your velcroing your car to
look like a Mercedes right so there’s
this really weird like you’re not quite
like just fully accepting where you are
but yet you really do accomplish it if
we really go back and we look at it I
had a couple good things happen for me
or to me one was at that time my wife
did get frank with me this is not who
you are this is not what you’re about I
don’t recognize this person this is who
you are and I had an other person to my
benefit pointing out to me the things
that were great about me
and this is gonna sound hokey but I’m
gonna give you the big one and this is
why life gives you these great tests I
had a really good friend of mine I went
to lunch and he said yeah I don’t know
who this guy is here in front of me and
he goes let me ask you a question
honestly right now what are you grateful
for and at the lunch I said jack
nothing brother there’s nothing good in
my life right now and I’m not
exaggerating this to you when I tell you
this and this is a factual story as I’m
mouthing these words two people walked
in with an older man both of them
clearly were fighting cancer somehow
both had lost their hair one of the
ladies had a bonnet on and they were
barely moving in both walked by our
table and gave me the most warm greeting
the warmest smile as a stranger and he
goes that’s pretty freaking pathetic you
can’t find anything in your life to be
grateful for right now and on the drive
home I’m not kidding you I started this
gratitude I started to taking inventory
because if you can find things to be
grateful for in that space man as your
life going to be rich when there really
are external things to be grateful for
so my first mechanism out of that space
was honestly to stack the things I was
grateful for and I started reinforcing
it over and over and over again and what
happens is there’s this reticular
activating system in our brains right
and all of a sudden because that’s the
messaging I was giving myself all of a
sudden all these things start to come
into my awareness that I’m grateful for
I start to magnetized to myself some
people that I needed to find into my
life and that was the next layer I
started to see things to be grateful for
my health my fitness people who loved me
what it is it changed my state when I
stacked gratitude I changed what I did
in the morning and I changed what I did
in the evening and so somehow by
grabbing control of my morning and by
grabbing control of my evening I got
some measure of control over the middle
of my day I wasn’t out of control person
back in those days meaning this I woke
up worried stressed fearful and I
immediately started thinking about a
bill I had to pay something that was
wrong and I’m in a state of reaction to
begin every sound talk within six
minutes of waking up six seconds most
people listening this that’s what they
do I said I got to grab control of my
morning and I set up routines in my
morning
maybe they served me maybe they didn’t
but they were things I could deliver on
doing for myself and so not only did
that give me control over the day but I
started to stack my self-confidence too
and what were some of those things that
you grabbed onto huge so and I have a
bad about pitching this but I do have
audios out on this stuff too that people
can go get for free but right by the way
are amazing thank you man
thanks 100% I really hope people dive in
like your content is incredible thank
you so is yours which is why I wanted to
find you
and it’s I’ve been for a long time
wanted to be in your presence so my
morning routines are really detailed I
get up and I hydrate the second thing I
do every morning is I do something cold
something cold so whether that’s I jump
in the ocean because now I live in the
ocean but in those days it was taking a
cold shower or splashes with cold water
in my face or walking out when it was
cold it shocks our nervous system our
fight-or-flight kicks in we’re at a
cellular electric alive state I
obviously do some prayer and meditation
every single morning I’ve still not
touched my tell
so there’s a rule there’s 30 minutes I
cannot touch my telephone when I wake up
that’s the hardest thing to do in the
world and the thing that could benefit
you the most because what’s ever on that
phone you have to react to and typically
it’s stuff that’s not great and so I
don’t touch that I do my meditation on
my prayer and I do some stretching I do
some breathing exercises and then at
that point I allow myself to enter the
world after I’ve got my state control
and I work out every morning except for
Sunday so I work out every morning talk
to me about working out that’s something
that completely changed my life
obviously and and every time somebody
asks me a question about you know how do
I I’m lost I feel you know completely
out of control I don’t have confidence
my answer is work out me too
so why well I think everything in our
body everything in our life starts with
our body if you’re a person of faith you
believe that’s where your soul is housed
right and so it’s the you you do
emotions you don’t just feel them you do
them in other words and you know this
from things you’ve learned in your life
but like joy is an actual action not
just an emotion we feel a certain Joy’s
of certain breathing a certain movement
in our body depression and sadness is
something we do were more hunched over
our breathing is more shallow right and
so there’s a correlation between the way
you move your body and your emotions
they’re directly this is even before we
get to dopamine hits and our nervous
system being I’m just telling you that
the way you move your body is an emotion
you do emotions and so when you move
your body you can’t be in full workout
mode moving your body running walking
jumping jacks jump rope and be depressed
they don’t go together Simon Says
because your body doesn’t get the
connection I’m moving like I’m joyful
I’m moving like I’m having sex I’m
moving like I’m happy these are all
joyful states you can’t be depressed
simultaneously so the quickest way to
change our behavior our emotions in our
state is with our body all right now
let’s talk about the like n sets the
ones that really burn and really hurt
one thing that I found is and you’ve
talked about this with entrepreneurship
and generally said it’s the the greatest
like self-awareness mechanism you’re
gonna find out who you are what you’re
capable of how hard you’re willing to
push do most people though getting into
that position like it’s hard right that
that’s a sort of a bridge too far yes
but
when you start in the gym and it’s like
do I do this extra set or not do I push
myself do I do an extra exercise you
going back to confidence and self trust
it’s like you begin to learn something
about yourself
I’m stealing that from you no please
meant and that like legitimately changed
my life and so when I when I see guys
that are successful entrepreneurs and
they’re jacked yeah that never surprises
me either so I play these very strange
games with myself when I’m at the gym
when I’m working out I always do one
extra rep one extra set because it it’s
a promise I kept to myself and here’s
the biggest thing it’s a pattern it’s a
pattern I keep of me I always do a
little extra I always go the extra inch
and the quickest and easiest place to do
it is the gym because I can always grab
one more weight one more set and it was
what it does it shifts your identity I
was at the gym yesterday and a woman
drove by me in a wheelchair at the gym I
was working out pretty hard and she
wheeled by me heavyset lady in a
wheelchair I’d be honest with you I
watched her wheel past me she inspired
me you know what courage it takes to get
in your wheelchair inside I’m gonna go
to the gym right I’m gonna go to the gym
she’s heavyset awkward that inspired me
far more than the jacked up dude doing
60 pound curls I mean that’s inspiring
but you see that a woman in a wheelchair
at a gym with her two pound dumbbells
because her legs don’t work but she went
in there anyway and you know how
unsecure she was about going in there
she’s the only person in a wheelchair
she doesn’t know what she’s gonna see
how people are gonna react to her she’s
not in shape just never full makeup on
and her little you know halter top like
the other girls in there and she’s right
in there she was right in there working
out right next to them right I couldn’t
take my eyes off her I couldn’t take my
eyes off her and I ended up telling her
she’s leaving I left what I was doing I
walked over ice I just want you to know
something you’re inspiring me this is
wonderful her face just lit up
you know how such how insecure she was
about being in their most inspiring
persons one overcoming the fear of doing something not the person who’s excellent
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