it’s fascinates me about human beings
and it fascinates me about myself is
that we have such a high tolerance for
suckiness isn’t it crazy as long as the
suckiness is a routine but the second
you get thrown out of your routine or
the second that whether it’s because you
lose a job or somebody moves or somebody
dies or somebody breaks up with you or
you break like all of a sudden that
awakens the courage in you to make a
change because she you know either you
have no choice or down you got a problem
to solve
you know but fighting that inertia of
life is the most difficult thing in the
world I ended up getting a job with a
law firm because it was the path of
least resistance in Boston in Boston I
hated it because I went from being in
the courtroom to writing briefs all day
and luckily I got pregnant with our
first daughter who just is starting
college which makes me feel so ancient I
just want to like punch myself in the
face I have a 18 year old freshman in
college um thank you but I got pregnant
with her and when she was born I had
horrific postpartum depression Wow I
mean the really scary kind where you
can’t be alone with the baby you’re on
crazy meds that turn you at like not the
kind of you take recreationally yeah
these are the kind that like turn you
into a zombie and it was a really scary
thing and I when I kind of came out of
the eight-week trance of that I looked
up at Chris and said I’ve made a
decision and he said okay what would
that be and I said I don’t ever want to
answer the question what do you do for a
living with the response I’m a lawyer
and he said
okay you realize we’ve just bought this
house and we have a kid and we have
organs to pay and he said so here’s the
deal you’ve got exactly four weeks
before your maternity leave is over
you need to make $60,000 I don’t care
what you do for a living
that’s your problem go solve it and the
night before I was supposed to read so I
networked like a crazy person cuz again
if you’re a human being with the problem
you’ll solve it yeah and so if it
matters enough to you
and so I I got a job and this was the
first combo in Boston I got a job the
night before I was supposed to go back
the kind of person that believes you
should always make decisions with your
heart and soul you can use your brain
for math you can use your brain to look
at the fine print in a contract but when
it comes to the actual feel of the
decision you always want to go inward
and check it against your heart and soul
how do you do that here’s the simple
test does the decision that you’re about
to make expand you expand your future or
expand the possibilities of your life if
the answer is yes then the decision is
yes no matter how terrifying it is if
you conversely look at the choice that
you have to make and the decision will
shrink you will silence you will inhibit
you in some way then the answer is no no
matter how easy the decision is no
matter how safe the decision is the
answer is no now one of the things I
want to point out that when you start to
use this does it expand or does it
shrink me does it open possibilities or
does it keep things closed does it raise
my voice or does it silence me right is
that there’s always a short-term and a
long-term impact to the decision the
short-term impact to making an expansive
decision a decision that’s based in your
heart in your soul sometimes it’s
terrifying because sometimes it means
moving or it means changing a job or
changing a relationship or having a
difficult conversation or starting
something new and those sorts of things
are always uncomfortable so brace for
impact
put the force fields up but make the
decision anyway because the long-term
impact of making a decision from your
heart and soul that is where the best
life comes from because you’re living
for what’s true for you not what’s safe
in the moment I believe that passion is
another word for energy that’s it what
do you have energy for what energizes
you and that we naturally have a
tremendous amount of body wisdom about
that and that every one of us has an
internal fuel tank that is either empty
or full and if you’re empty you feel
depleted if you’re full you feel
energized and so if you simply are in
any situation I mean any situation and
you pay attention within five seconds –
does this person energize me they
deplete me where are they in the scale
you just gain some tremendous wisdom and
you the simple way to start to figure
out who you are and what you want is
start aligning yourself with more things
that energize you
so situationally if you’re lying in bed
and the snooze alarm goes or the alarm
goes off and you feel depleted and you
start reaching for the snooze button
that’s a really big sign that you need
to get out of bed now being depleted
versus energized has nothing to do with
whether or not things are hard or easy
it has to do with what naturally
actually either expands you or shrinks
you and so if you look at your client
list and measure it depleted versus
energized what shrinks versus expands me
you have the actual map and when you
start to find the courage to make
decisions
that energizes you and that expand you
whether they’re scariest or not that’s
when everything changes and so that’s
how I actually make business decisions
is this I don’t even like the money
conversation comes second
it’s does this deplete or energize me
and if it depletes me how do you move it
in that direction or how do I stay sane
oh if it energizes me how do I do more
because if you are energized or expanded
by something you will do it for no money
you will do it happily and you will
suddenly wake up and say oh my gosh like
my heart I’m pursuing my passion I
started to have these panic attacks and
I didn’t know what was wrong and I went
to see one of the like health people at
campus and they referred me to somebody
and the doctor said oh well you just
have anxiety and you’re having panic and
and then he said I think you should go
on Zoloft and then I had anxiety about
taking a drug because you know it might
change me heaven forbid right yeah I’m
so stable why would I want to be change
just like and that’s the funny thing is
that is that those of us that struggle
with these kinds of things
we’re terrified of taking any kind of
medication because we’re afraid of not
being ourselves and yet the anxiety or
the depression or whatever you struggle
with is actually keeping you from being
yourself the things I hear that’s the
inker yeah yeah
and so I argued with him like a lawyer
for six months and then finally I gave
in and started taking Zoloft and it was
like a miracle when I took it it was
literally as if somebody had taken a
volume dial and turned it to zero and
that voice that would sound off in my
head on a loop that triggered all the
body sensations we’re going to talk a
lot about this tomorrow like the
difference between worry and how that
triggers anxiety and then the difference
between anxiety and panic and then how
you can utilize the tools that I’m
talking about to curb the worrying to
control the anxiety to stabilize the
panic and like really self monitor and
see I think that is the single greatest
skill that anybody could have the
ability to self-monitor you could call
it mindset you could call it
self-awareness but truly to be so in
tune with yourself that in a nanosecond
you pick up when things are going south
with your thoughts feel stuck because
you’re waiting for some kind of external
force to either push you and pressure
you to change and to be great and to be
amazing or you’re waiting for somebody
to give you permission you’re either
sitting back because you need some sort
of external motivation from somebody
that’s gonna push you or praise you or
pressure you in order to change or some
life circumstance like maybe in your
past you’ve experienced trauma or you
face something really scary and that was
the thing that made you change and then
the second thing that people wait around
for is permission
look those may or may not come in your
life if you are somebody that is sitting
around waiting for some external force
to come and do the work for you that is
such a losing bet it’s unbelievable
maybe you’ll get lucky maybe somebody
will come but more than likely no one is
coming
the only kind of force that will truly
create change in your life is you the
internal kind of force I hate to say it
but for those of you that feel really
really stuck and you keep thinking that
somebody’s got to pick me or somebody’s
gonna discover me or somebody’s got to
give me permission to write this book
it’s it’s ridiculous this is external
versus internal force and what you have
to figure out if you’re stuck is are you
the kind of person that is guilty of
needing wanting and waiting for external
forces people out of
some outside force to kick you in the
ass they will finally do the stuff that
you’ve been dreaming about doing I want
to tell you something no one’s coming no
one the people in life that get what
they want are the ones that aren’t
waiting for an external force to
validate their dreams to inspire them to
give them permission it’s the people
that realize that success but happiness
that control it comes from the internal
force and what is the internal force
it’s you it’s you it’s you being able to
realize that no one’s going to do the
work for you it’s you realizing that
you’re never going to feel ready
in fact even as you start working toward
the things that you really want to do
you’re definitely not going to feel
ready and you’re going to feel outside
your comfort zone and that’s normal when
you start to feel like you’re stretching
yourself and you’re sticking your
scrawny neck out there and you’re taking
some risks that’s amazing cuz you’re
growing people have so many theories
about fear they talk about oh I’m afraid
of success know I’m afraid of failure
I’m afraid of intimacy I’m afraid of
heights I’m afraid of this I’m afraid of
that I’m afraid of the other thing
there’s actually only two fears only two
and if you’re in sales which you are or
even if you’re not
life is about persuading people life is
about influencing people and fear is the
invisible force that will make you
ineffective at that it will stop you now
I love JK Rollins as an example I mean
we all know the Harry Potter series but
what a lot of people don’t know about
her she talks a lot about fear she
struggled with major depression do you
know she was unemployed and she wrote
the original idea for Harry Potter on a
napkin while she was on state benefits
she was then rejected by 12 publishing
houses and this by the way was after she
was divorced bankrupt and a single mom
of a kid pushed herself pushed herself
pushed herself she talks a lot about
fear and about failure well you know we
know the moral of the story she just
kept going of course she was afraid but
she had the good kind of fear not the
bad kind of fear you don’t ever start
you stay trapped in your head and if you
feel paralyzed if you’ve been spinning
the same ideas over and over and over
again then you know what I’m talking
about you see many of you are thinking
way too Vic you’re attaching way too
much pressure on the things that you’re
interested in until you start blogging
about fashion you won’t even know if you
like it
so thinking that you have a dream about
doing it and thinking that you have this
grand plan that you’re gonna do it
full-time
it is a complete and utter waste of your
time to be dreaming that big and let me
tell you why because oftentimes if
you’re the kind of person like Vicky
that’s getting trapped up here the
bigness of what you’re thinking about is
what’s stopping you what I want you to
do if you’re in Vicki’s situation is I
want you to stop dreaming and I want you
to just start doing small things I want
you to go back to curiosity and less
into crushing your big goals the thing
about life and business and success is
that you have to be willing to start and
for people that procrastinate starting
is the hardest part for
people that worry for people that think
too big starting is the hardest part
folks that study procrastination talk
about the fact that the only way to beat
procrastination is to create what they
call a starting ritual which is a way to
push yourself to get started because all
the research shows that if we can push
you to get started on something you’ll
likely keep going we spend a lot of time
talking about mindset from the
standpoint of think positive so positive
things happen and I do believe in having
a positive mindset obviously I think
that the actions that you take are way
more important in terms of developing
that mindset but we don’t spend enough
time on what you were just talking about
which is understanding how the automatic
nature of worrying about stuff all day
long how that is making you less money
how it is making you less happy how it
is disconnecting you from your spouse
how it is keeping you unhealthy and how
it is a habit that robs you of joy and
opportunity and power and it is one of
the easiest habits to break number one
your life happens in five-second windows
number two in five seconds you can
control what you think you can decide
what you’re going to do and you can
change absolutely anything which changes
absolutely everything and so the
five-second rule is a mind trick that’s
all that it is a fancy way to call it as
a you know it’s a form of metacognition
but it’s basically a hack it’s a cheat
code okay and the way that it works and
this is the challenge with getting it
out there is that it sounds so
profoundly stupid like a gimmick that it
took a while for people to actually take
it seriously
good
and to really stack up the science to
make you know anybody that interacts
with it go holy Sh like this actually
works yeah so here’s what it is
basically the moment you catch yourself
hesitating or doubting or starting to
worry or about to chicken out or shrink
or shut up or whatever it is that you’re
about to do that is shrinking your power
you just go 5 4 3 2 1 you count
backwards 5 4 3 2 1
what happens when you do that don’t do
it out loud because it’ll scare somebody
it’s like going although you know we say
it’s it’s so simple that people live
skit in the making because that means
I’ve really made it through your kids
will use it on you so my kids will use
it on me so if I have a certain tone
that comes out I’ll hear my child will
go 5 4 through watch that tone mom you
know just alright mom 5 4 3 2 and I
thought you’re gonna go to the gym yes
so by counting backwards the the kind of
cheat code that you’re doing in your
mind is you are interrupting what are
called habit loops that get encoded in
the central part of your brain and you
are starting up the prefrontal cortex
it’s a little trick that causes focus
and it’s it’s a lot like having a mantra
because you’re shifting gears but the
thing about having a mantra is and I
suppose that as you count backwards more
and more and more you become used to it
but it becomes a habit that triggers
action so what you do is go 5 4 3 2 1
cut off this part of the brain awaken
this part of the brain and then move and
what happens with the counting backwards
is there’s nowhere to go after one and
your mind is socialized in a countdown
situation to go and so counting up won’t
work because you can keep going forever
and you do it in many aspects of your
life so it’s actually not something that
requires any focus
I said simple I didn’t say easy and the
reason why it’s not easy is because you
have to deal with you and now we know
that you’re a control freak and you’re
stubborn and you got all these excuses
you’re a real pain and I’m gonna teach
you though the very very simple way to
get what you want there’s only one rule
when it comes to productivity there’s
only one rule when it comes to success
there’s only run rule to getting
everything you’ve ever wanted and here
it is you’re never gonna feel like it
ever in any area of your life that you
don’t have what you want whether it’s
the amount of money the amount of people
on your team the amount of sales the
amount of trips for your family the read
if you only did the things that you
don’t feel like doing you’d have
everything you’ve ever wanted those
areas where you’re happy you do the work
those areas where you’re complaining you
don’t feel like it you don’t do it so
it’s a lot like kids if you think about
it what’s your job as a parent it’s to
make kids do the things they don’t feel
like doing so they can grow up and move
out and become independent adults my son
never feels like getting off the Dia’s
he never feels like putting his feet
down when he’s caught in the car my
daughter never feels like cleaning up
the Barbies I have no idea why they’re
always naked by the way always naked
and the funny thing is when you grew up
and moved out your parents never said to
you guess what you are a total pain in
the rear end you never feel like doing
anything you don’t feel like doing your
homework you don’t feel like going out
you don’t feel like making your bed you
don’t feel like saying hello to
strangers you don’t feel like using your
manners you don’t feel like cleaning
your room good luck to you so the only
way to get what you want is to parent
yourself but I’m gonna make it easy for
you we’re about to move you’ve learned a
ton about the brain now the brain is
going to screw you over the brain is
gonna go into autopilot the brain is
going to tell you it doesn’t feel like
doing things it’s trickery you now know
that so how do you be effective with
yourself knowing that you’re never gonna
feel like doing all the work that it
takes to have this business be
everything that it possibly could so
you’re gonna use the five-second rule
and what that means is this
from the moment that you have the idea I
should email out the Fall collection I
should go through the contact list for
my college or university and reach out
to people I should go through my contact
lists and invite 23 people this week to
just take the dogs for a walk I should
make a request of a friend and ask if I
can come to a presentation at lunch at
his law firm from the second you have
that idea you’ve only got five seconds
to take action otherwise it’s gone your
brain will swoop in so fast uh-oh
there’s an idea whoa no way
no wait you don’t feel like it you’re
overwhelmed you you’ve got five seconds
and that’s it today I want you to
practice this because what you’re going
to notice is you’re gonna notice a
little bit later like in the networking
section and you know afterwards and in
some of these events after this
particular speech you’re gonna notice
that you have an impulse you have an
impulse to walk towards somebody that’s
really successful that’s built a team
that could possibly help you and guess
what you’re not gonna do it you’ve
probably had them the entire time that
you’ve been here oh I should go over and
talk to this person hey I’ll catch them
later oh that person looks really
interesting I don’t know I should really
take some photos of this fall line and
start to eat that might be too pushy so
what do you do how does it work you have
the thought you’ve got five seconds
that’s it and what do you need to do
just say something out loud that’s one
way you could start walking the second
you feel like you should meet somebody
because you’re drawn to them again it’s
from here it’s not from here
start walking because if you’re already
walking the likelihood is you’ll
actually make it to them and then you’re
gonna say something write it down
schedule it send an email to yourself or
make the request one of the things that
was so interesting about talking to Tara
this morning is it was clear that a
couple people had been in there sharing
their brains out about Jay Hilbert and
yet it never progressed into the side of
the conversation of would you like
information would you like to do it
and I’m sure whoever it was it was lying
on the table probably had that thought
like you know I should I should say
something should I
getting facial is it weird to be talking
about business at the same time five
seconds gone talk yourself out of it I
am here for you and I’m here for you
because I believe there is greatness in
you and I know you feel it don’t you you
feel that there is more you feel that
there is there is something to do and
there is and so I am here to teach you
how to push that greatness to the
surface how to use one simple tool one
simple tool to find the clarity to
listen to your inner wisdom and the
courage to take action in the confidence
to keep going to keep going despite what
goes on because what I’m about to show
you I’m going to prove it to you is that
you can change anything in five seconds
and that fact will change everything
about your life everything now this what
I’m about to talk about it this was my
secret weapon for a long time and I
never intended on sharing it with
anybody because it sounds kind of stupid
when you talk about it hey you can
change your legs for five seconds you
know just count the five yeah right now
uh-huh you’re trying to sell a book I
know seriously I don’t want you to
dismiss the power in the ideas that I’m
about to share with you because they’re
so simple and what’s funny is I never
intended on talking about this I never
intended on talking about it because I
discovered it by mistake seriously about
eight years ago my life looked totally
different than it does today I was
unemployed
my husband had a small business that was
that was failing and failing miserably
and it took our home equity line and the
kids college savings and our 401k plans
right down the drain with it
and we have the liens hitting the house
we of course were fighting like crazy
because you know when life blows what do
you do you point the finger you say oh
it’s your fault oh it’s my boss’s fault
it’s the economy’s fault
oh this isn’t fair you know what’s
interesting about the way that human
beings are designed have you ever
noticed that when you blame somebody
else and you point the finger there’s
three fingers pointing right back at you
it’s a big reminder that the power is in
you but waking up every morning
unemployed I certainly didn’t feel
powerful you know what I needed I needed
confidence that was tapped out I needed
courage move nope didn’t have any of
that when the alarm rang this is what I
felt like doing with the clock have you
ever had one of those mornings right
where you’re like not today no not today
I do not want to get out of bed today I
would lie in bed the alarm would go off
and I would start thinking about the day
ahead and I would start feeling
overwhelmed and I would feel this sense
of dread and I would feel like such a
failure you know I remember this period
of our life and I remember having those
moments where I’d be at the grocery
store and the items would be scanning
and I would feel the fear rising up
because I didn’t know if the check card
was going to go through because I didn’t
have the courage to look at the bank
account
and so as I would lie in bed in the
morning and I would know by the way my
inner wisdom was there and your inner
wisdom is always there it’s always there
kind of nudging you pushing you begging
you to go forward my heroism was like
mal you need to get up and I’d be like
in the end I don’t feel like it I
developed this habit of hitting the
snooze button over and over and over
again every morning I became one of
those those parents where the kids were
always late and and you know here’s the
thing about life we don’t we don’t do
this we don’t ever kind of go to wake up
in the morning go go you know what I’m
gonna do today today today I’m gonna
screw up my life today I’m gonna hit the
snooze button four times I’m gonna blow
off exercise I’m gonna eat that whole
tray of donuts then I’m gonna go to work
and snap at people I’m gonna blow off
working at my business I’m gonna come
home and be mean to my spouse and
patient with my kids then I’m gonna
drink a ton it’s gonna be amazing
right you know we don’t do that what
happens is when you’re not paying
attention when you’re not really focused
on what you want when you’re not clear
you make these small decisions all day
long
that slowly take you off course
decisions based and self-doubt decisions
based in fear decisions based in panic
decisions based in resignation and
suddenly you wake up one morning like I
didn’t you’re like wait a minute wait
how did I get over there and more
importantly how do I get over here you
know we all know we need to change but
change is hard it’s hard when you don’t
feel confident it’s hard when you don’t
feel certain and that’s exactly how I
felt and I struggled and I struggled and
then one night it’s a really stupid
story I saw this rocket launching and
you know we’re gonna talk about this
word courage now when you hear the word
courage you think about the big stuff
don’t you you think about a
life-or-death moment you think about
your heroes I want you to consider that
courage is what you need every day that
there are conversations you have to have
that require courage
for me I need a courage to get out of
bed because our problems they just felt
so big so I struggled and struggled
because I knew what to do but I couldn’t
make myself do it if you ever felt that
way like so frustrated with yourself you
knew you need to exercise but you don’t
do it you know you need to drink less
but you don’t do it you know you need to
stop procrastinating but you don’t do it
you know you need to have the tough
conversations but you don’t do it you’re
stuck that’s how I was and then one
night I see this rocket launch and I say
oh my gosh that that’s it
that’s it I’m gonna launch myself out of
bed like a rocket ship tomorrow morning
it is gonna be amazing I’m gonna move so
fast that my mind cannot talk me out of
this now it could have been the four
manhattan’s talking you know that gave
me that idea because I had a drinking
problem that’s one of the things you do
you get emotional you reach for the
booze well for whatever reason the very
next morning I woke up I still had all
the same problems liens on the house
talking divorce with my husband of now
20 years just felt like such a loser I
did not feel like getting up I will
never forget this morning it was a cold
dark winter morning in February outside
of Boston Massachusetts and I just did
not feel like doing anything different
but I did one thing one thing that
changed everything I started counting
backwards five four three two one and
then all of a sudden I stood up and I
was like what the hell just happened and
the next morning five four three two one
I did it again and it worked five four
three two one I did it again and it
worked I couldn’t believe it and now
that I’m almost 50 I still use it at
2:30 in the morning when I wake up and I
have to go the bathroom and you know
like instead of like you know trying to
go back to bed five four three two one
and eat it here’s what I noticed I
noticed something that when I say this
to you you’re gonna be like oh my god
she’s right there is a five-second
window between the moment that your
inner wisdom tells you you need to speak
up you need to get to the gym you need
to say something you need to get to work
and your mind killing it
and if you start counting backwards five
four three two one you can close the gap
between the greatness and you that’s
dying to come to the surface and the
excuses that keep snuffing it down now I
never intended to tell anybody about
this because I started use this to get
up on time it started use it to
self-monitor so I didn’t snap at Chris
so I stopped drinking so much I started
to use it to go on job interviews and it
literally changed everything because I
started to change I stopped being the
kind of person that would think about
everything and I five four three two one
became the kind of person that started
acting and every time I took action I
started to build confidence now I gave
this talk a couple years ago about how
it changed my career so many times and
again I wasn’t gonna talk about the
five-second rule because it sounds
stupid and in full disclosure I didn’t
know why it worked and plus I didn’t
want you to have it this was working for
me
so why would I want you to have it right
so at the end of this talk this was the
spurge first speech I had ever given so
if you ever want to see somebody have a
twenty-one minute long panic attack this
is what it looks like I get off stage
and I’m like I’m never doing that again
and somebody puts the talk on line and
something crazy started to happen people
from around the world started to write
and they were all writing about this
stupid simple very powerful five-second
rule they were using it to find the
courage to reach out to people they were
using it to become number one in sales
they were sharing it with their teams we
know of 13 people that have stopped
themselves from committing suicide using
this rule this gentleman was a veteran
and he boarded the ferry with the
intention of jumping over he gets to the
railing and his inner wisdom kicks in I
don’t care how low you get I don’t care
how high you get your inner wisdom is
always there and when you hear it it is
magic when you listen to it it changes
everything as inner wisdom said this is
not the answer he went 5 4 3 2 1 and he
turned and he walked away we hear from
people all over the world people that
are using it to be more productive to
quit smoking after 23 years
license plates tattoos for crying out
loud look when people start tattooing
this thing on their body like I started
to feel a moral obligation to figure out
why it worked so I’m gonna tell you some
of the science behind this I’m gonna
explain how you can use it and then I’m
going to show you how five-second
decisions change everything so we all
hear this just do it right most famous
tagline in the world what’s the
difference between just do it and the
five-second rule
this is a concept concepts make you go
upstairs I don’t want you upstairs
this is behind enemy lines you’re not
gonna grow your business grow yourself
by thinking you got to take action right
before you’re about to do anything even
if you’re an Olympic athlete what do you
do you stop and you think and that’s the
kiss of death now stop and think if
you’re gonna get tattoo or sign a
contract but on the little stuff do not
stop and think because what happens when
your feelings of failure kick in and
they will you start to think and that
leads you to doubting yourself doesn’t
it and the same thing happens when you
feel nervous same thing happens when you
feel unsure the same thing happens when
you feel like you’re a fake the same
thing happens when you feel overwhelmed
look at all these feelings they’re
triggering you to think that’s the last
thing you should do this is what we call
a habit loop any pattern that you repeat
becomes a habit something you do without
even thinking so how do you break it you
train yourself to take action you train
yourself at the moment you feel nervous
you move why because when you take
action you actually build confidence
when you feel unsure and you move
forward anyway 5 4 3 2 1 you are
building the skill of confidence you are
bringing that greatness to the surface
now look south that’s normal feeling
overwhelmed is normal the people we
admire the most felt the same way you
ever heard the story of Michelangelo so
in the late and early 1500s he had never
painted a thing the Pope goes over to
see him and in his studio as he’s
carving a statue in the Pope Julius the
second turns to Michelangelo and says
hey Michelangelo I got some frescoes I
want you to paint in Vatican City
you know what Michelangelo felt totally
unsure do you know what he did he left
town he hid from the Pope for two years
that’s how unsure he was you know what
the Pope that he stalked him for two
years
pushed him until he actually painted
those frescoes how about a more recent
one how many of you heard of Hamilton
yeah Hamilton hit musical guess what
three and a half years ago it wasn’t
even finished
lin-manuel the guy that wrote it was
busy messaging with his wife Vanessa
what was he saying he was saying
something you and I can relate to when
it doesn’t happen as fast as I’d like it
to I have a hard time finding the
balance between not beating myself up
and not wasting time can’t you relate to
that she’s like you’re not unique dude
we all struggle with this we all all all
need the encouragement and the push you
know in this myth this photo makes me
sad because when I think about this kid
right and standing there the longer he
looks the more he thinks about it the
less likely he’s going imagine the
difference that a push makes imagine a
coach behind him right all right a coach
a coach going come on Sammy you got this
buddy you got this or an older brother
the problem is in life usually there’s
nobody there to push you it’s up to you
that’s why the five-second rule is your
new best friend this is what you’re
gonna use to push yourself the moment
you have an instinct to act on a goal
you know you should do some but you
don’t feel like getting out of bed I
don’t care 5 4 3 2 1 you don’t feel like
being nice to your spouse I don’t care 5
4 3 2 1 use this for behaviors that you
need to do and for those things that are
emotional that are killing you drinking
too much eating a bunch of garbage
smoking gambling addiction
when you feel the emotion drawing you
towards it 5 4 3 2 1 physically move
away from it what is this actually doing
in your mind when you count backwards
it’s pretty remarkable how such a simple
thing that’s something extraordinary
when you start counting backwards it is
an action when you start counting
backwards it requires focus when you
start counting backwards you are
manually switching the part of the brain
that you’re using you’re activating your
prefrontal cortex you’re interrupting
the habit loops of self-doubt of
procrastination of fear of anxiety and
you are taking control one five-second
decision at a time it truly is that
simple I didn’t say it was easy but it
is this simple and it’s not gonna be
easy because you’re gonna fight yourself
now there are three ways that you can
use this we’ve heard of literally
hundreds of thousands of waves we’ve
heard of from hundreds of thousands of
people in 90 different countries that
are using this rule and they fall into
kind of three buckets you can use this
rule to change any behavior five four
three two one push yourself to do
something that you know you need to do
five four three two one pull yourself
away from something that you know you
should not be doing you can use it for
courage five four three two one step
into that risk five four three two one
push yourself outside your comfort zone
and the most important way you can use
it is you can use it for mind control
this one matters the most to me so let
me explain to you how to use it so a lot
of people see me on stage or on CNN and
they’re like who that chick was just
born very confident very annoying and I
don’t you laugh because it’s true
not true I suffered from panic attacks
for over 20 years they started when I
was 19 years old they got so bad that I
was on Zoloft it was a miracle drug for
me and as I started to use the
five-second rule to literally I mean
change everything to go from facing
bankruptcy to running multi-million
dollar companies joining the teams at
CNN being a contributor to dr. oz and
success changing my marriage and how I
behaved
changing my health habits changing
everything because what the rule does is
it gives you control over your decisions
it gives you control over those
five-second moments that change
everything for you because in those
five-second moments it’s where all the
opportunity and the joy in your life is
so I have wondered about five years ago
I wonder if you could use this simple
stupid
brilliant rule to cure yourself of
anxiety the answer is yes you can so
I’ve been off meds for five years I
haven’t had a panic attack since hell I
don’t even worry about anything yes
because I have used this rule to
completely rewire how I think you’re
gonna hear a lot about mindset today you
want to adopt a growth mindset you want
to change your habits
this is a starting ritual that you can
use for any of them let me explain how
you do it in the mental game so if you
ever noticed how your thoughts drift
right you’re sitting in a meeting and
suddenly your thoughts are like bla bla
bla bla bla garbage garbage garbage
you suck suck suck suck right you know
whatever it is the second that you get
your thoughts drifting you’re gonna go 5
4 3 2 1 and yang come back here now the
counting backwards is essential it
doesn’t work to just try to change your
thoughts inserting the
five-four-three-two-one interrupts the
pattern of bad talk to yourself and self
doubt and anxiety it awakens your
prefrontal cortex so your brain is ready
ready to receive a new thought you know
I’m going to use an example that we can
all relate to to explain specifically
how to do this because I think this is
so important I used to be a nutcase
about flying I would get to the airport
and I’d be in the boarding area and I’d
be looking for Bishop TD jakes and I’d
be looking for babies and men and women
in uniform because I would say if
they’re getting on my plane God is not
letting this go down so then I I get on
the plane and I would buckle up and then
I’d start to feel the panic rising and
as soon as we take off and the plane
does that scary thing where you get up
and then all of a sudden feels like it’s
like turning off as it’s leveling off
then I would start to panic and I would
pull out my phone and I would start
texting my children you know mommy loves
you emoji emoji emoji because if I’m
gonna die in a plane crash
I want the
to know that as my last act as a human
being was to be the best mom on the
planet and then plus they got it for the
eulogy when they do the PowerPoint so
they can prove it to everybody and you
giggle you giggle because we’re sick
human beings we’re all sick right if we
were to put a speaker on your head and
broadcast the garbage you say to
yourself you wouldn’t be at success live
you’ve been an insane asylum for crying
out loud
but here’s the problem we listen to it
we listen to it you let it rob you of
your precious lifetime you let it keep
you
from stepping into your greatness you
let it stop you from saying what you
really believe you don’t have to second
you catch yourself thinking anything
that doesn’t serve you five four three
two one
take control five four three two one
insert a different thought every time I
talk about this when I fly I step on the
plane with an anchor thought I think
about where I’m gonna go and I flew here
you know what I thought about I thought
about you so every time the turbulence
happened I went 5 4 3 2 1 I thought
about you and my brain went oh she’s not
nervous about the plane she is so
excited to see everybody at Success live
this makes sense one of you many of you
are gonna text me right after this and
be like I can’t believe this mal use
that stupid simple thing you just talked
about and this is the first time I’ve
ever been able to get on a plane you can
change how you think five seconds at a
time
do not ever underestimate your power to
change the things that matter most to
you this is one of the most shared
stories in the history of social media a
lot of you are gonna recognize this this
is Brittany and her dad Todd now what
you can’t tell from this story is that
it’s been a horrible decade for this
family
you see Brittany and Brittany’s dad and
her mom got divorced and it’s been an
ugly divorce you know a lot of fighting
and the spouses can’t the new spouses
can’t stand each other well today is
Brittany’s wedding day and Todd is
walking his new wife up the aisle and he
has this inner wisdom kick in and he
says to himself today I’m gonna heal
this family doesn’t stop and think he
turns he walks back down the aisle and
instead of grabbing his daughter he
grabs her stepfather a man he hates I
mean look at the expression on the lady
next to them for crying out loud
and he invites him to walk their
daughter down the aisle five seconds
changes everything but I can tell you
firsthand because we interviewed this
family for CNN it certainly changed this
one so whether you are going to use the
rule – five four three two one get out
of your head and start that nonprofit
you’ve been thinking about for two
decades or you’re just going to five
four three two one get yourself out of
bed because you said you would or you
find yourself in one of the darkest
places of your life like Adam did so on
March 1st Adam was over in London he’s a
lawyer over there and he was sitting
with a bottle of pills and he was three
pills in and his inner wisdom kicked in
he knew that this was not the answer and
he also knew the five-second rule and he
won five four three two one and he got
up and he got in his car and he drove to
his doctor’s office and he had the
courage to listen he had the clarity to
seek help and he’s been using it ever
since and it’s like he has a friend with
him and he uses it to not interrupt
judges when he gets mad and as he writes
to us he says it’s not only literally
saved his life but he’s actually doing
pretty good and I’d like to introduce
you to because he’s flown here
[Applause]
I’m so proud of you don’t ever doubt
your ability to change your life to
change your life you know you have power
in you and now you know thank you it is
a privilege to share this with you thank
you please please please use it and
please let me know how you use it
seriously I it is such a I feel like I’m
just a messenger for something that’s
making a difference for people
everywhere so thank you for the
opportunity to share this with you
and it fascinates me about myself is
that we have such a high tolerance for
suckiness isn’t it crazy as long as the
suckiness is a routine but the second
you get thrown out of your routine or
the second that whether it’s because you
lose a job or somebody moves or somebody
dies or somebody breaks up with you or
you break like all of a sudden that
awakens the courage in you to make a
change because she you know either you
have no choice or down you got a problem
to solve
you know but fighting that inertia of
life is the most difficult thing in the
world I ended up getting a job with a
law firm because it was the path of
least resistance in Boston in Boston I
hated it because I went from being in
the courtroom to writing briefs all day
and luckily I got pregnant with our
first daughter who just is starting
college which makes me feel so ancient I
just want to like punch myself in the
face I have a 18 year old freshman in
college um thank you but I got pregnant
with her and when she was born I had
horrific postpartum depression Wow I
mean the really scary kind where you
can’t be alone with the baby you’re on
crazy meds that turn you at like not the
kind of you take recreationally yeah
these are the kind that like turn you
into a zombie and it was a really scary
thing and I when I kind of came out of
the eight-week trance of that I looked
up at Chris and said I’ve made a
decision and he said okay what would
that be and I said I don’t ever want to
answer the question what do you do for a
living with the response I’m a lawyer
and he said
okay you realize we’ve just bought this
house and we have a kid and we have
organs to pay and he said so here’s the
deal you’ve got exactly four weeks
before your maternity leave is over
you need to make $60,000 I don’t care
what you do for a living
that’s your problem go solve it and the
night before I was supposed to read so I
networked like a crazy person cuz again
if you’re a human being with the problem
you’ll solve it yeah and so if it
matters enough to you
and so I I got a job and this was the
first combo in Boston I got a job the
night before I was supposed to go back
the kind of person that believes you
should always make decisions with your
heart and soul you can use your brain
for math you can use your brain to look
at the fine print in a contract but when
it comes to the actual feel of the
decision you always want to go inward
and check it against your heart and soul
how do you do that here’s the simple
test does the decision that you’re about
to make expand you expand your future or
expand the possibilities of your life if
the answer is yes then the decision is
yes no matter how terrifying it is if
you conversely look at the choice that
you have to make and the decision will
shrink you will silence you will inhibit
you in some way then the answer is no no
matter how easy the decision is no
matter how safe the decision is the
answer is no now one of the things I
want to point out that when you start to
use this does it expand or does it
shrink me does it open possibilities or
does it keep things closed does it raise
my voice or does it silence me right is
that there’s always a short-term and a
long-term impact to the decision the
short-term impact to making an expansive
decision a decision that’s based in your
heart in your soul sometimes it’s
terrifying because sometimes it means
moving or it means changing a job or
changing a relationship or having a
difficult conversation or starting
something new and those sorts of things
are always uncomfortable so brace for
impact
put the force fields up but make the
decision anyway because the long-term
impact of making a decision from your
heart and soul that is where the best
life comes from because you’re living
for what’s true for you not what’s safe
in the moment I believe that passion is
another word for energy that’s it what
do you have energy for what energizes
you and that we naturally have a
tremendous amount of body wisdom about
that and that every one of us has an
internal fuel tank that is either empty
or full and if you’re empty you feel
depleted if you’re full you feel
energized and so if you simply are in
any situation I mean any situation and
you pay attention within five seconds –
does this person energize me they
deplete me where are they in the scale
you just gain some tremendous wisdom and
you the simple way to start to figure
out who you are and what you want is
start aligning yourself with more things
that energize you
so situationally if you’re lying in bed
and the snooze alarm goes or the alarm
goes off and you feel depleted and you
start reaching for the snooze button
that’s a really big sign that you need
to get out of bed now being depleted
versus energized has nothing to do with
whether or not things are hard or easy
it has to do with what naturally
actually either expands you or shrinks
you and so if you look at your client
list and measure it depleted versus
energized what shrinks versus expands me
you have the actual map and when you
start to find the courage to make
decisions
that energizes you and that expand you
whether they’re scariest or not that’s
when everything changes and so that’s
how I actually make business decisions
is this I don’t even like the money
conversation comes second
it’s does this deplete or energize me
and if it depletes me how do you move it
in that direction or how do I stay sane
oh if it energizes me how do I do more
because if you are energized or expanded
by something you will do it for no money
you will do it happily and you will
suddenly wake up and say oh my gosh like
my heart I’m pursuing my passion I
started to have these panic attacks and
I didn’t know what was wrong and I went
to see one of the like health people at
campus and they referred me to somebody
and the doctor said oh well you just
have anxiety and you’re having panic and
and then he said I think you should go
on Zoloft and then I had anxiety about
taking a drug because you know it might
change me heaven forbid right yeah I’m
so stable why would I want to be change
just like and that’s the funny thing is
that is that those of us that struggle
with these kinds of things
we’re terrified of taking any kind of
medication because we’re afraid of not
being ourselves and yet the anxiety or
the depression or whatever you struggle
with is actually keeping you from being
yourself the things I hear that’s the
inker yeah yeah
and so I argued with him like a lawyer
for six months and then finally I gave
in and started taking Zoloft and it was
like a miracle when I took it it was
literally as if somebody had taken a
volume dial and turned it to zero and
that voice that would sound off in my
head on a loop that triggered all the
body sensations we’re going to talk a
lot about this tomorrow like the
difference between worry and how that
triggers anxiety and then the difference
between anxiety and panic and then how
you can utilize the tools that I’m
talking about to curb the worrying to
control the anxiety to stabilize the
panic and like really self monitor and
see I think that is the single greatest
skill that anybody could have the
ability to self-monitor you could call
it mindset you could call it
self-awareness but truly to be so in
tune with yourself that in a nanosecond
you pick up when things are going south
with your thoughts feel stuck because
you’re waiting for some kind of external
force to either push you and pressure
you to change and to be great and to be
amazing or you’re waiting for somebody
to give you permission you’re either
sitting back because you need some sort
of external motivation from somebody
that’s gonna push you or praise you or
pressure you in order to change or some
life circumstance like maybe in your
past you’ve experienced trauma or you
face something really scary and that was
the thing that made you change and then
the second thing that people wait around
for is permission
look those may or may not come in your
life if you are somebody that is sitting
around waiting for some external force
to come and do the work for you that is
such a losing bet it’s unbelievable
maybe you’ll get lucky maybe somebody
will come but more than likely no one is
coming
the only kind of force that will truly
create change in your life is you the
internal kind of force I hate to say it
but for those of you that feel really
really stuck and you keep thinking that
somebody’s got to pick me or somebody’s
gonna discover me or somebody’s got to
give me permission to write this book
it’s it’s ridiculous this is external
versus internal force and what you have
to figure out if you’re stuck is are you
the kind of person that is guilty of
needing wanting and waiting for external
forces people out of
some outside force to kick you in the
ass they will finally do the stuff that
you’ve been dreaming about doing I want
to tell you something no one’s coming no
one the people in life that get what
they want are the ones that aren’t
waiting for an external force to
validate their dreams to inspire them to
give them permission it’s the people
that realize that success but happiness
that control it comes from the internal
force and what is the internal force
it’s you it’s you it’s you being able to
realize that no one’s going to do the
work for you it’s you realizing that
you’re never going to feel ready
in fact even as you start working toward
the things that you really want to do
you’re definitely not going to feel
ready and you’re going to feel outside
your comfort zone and that’s normal when
you start to feel like you’re stretching
yourself and you’re sticking your
scrawny neck out there and you’re taking
some risks that’s amazing cuz you’re
growing people have so many theories
about fear they talk about oh I’m afraid
of success know I’m afraid of failure
I’m afraid of intimacy I’m afraid of
heights I’m afraid of this I’m afraid of
that I’m afraid of the other thing
there’s actually only two fears only two
and if you’re in sales which you are or
even if you’re not
life is about persuading people life is
about influencing people and fear is the
invisible force that will make you
ineffective at that it will stop you now
I love JK Rollins as an example I mean
we all know the Harry Potter series but
what a lot of people don’t know about
her she talks a lot about fear she
struggled with major depression do you
know she was unemployed and she wrote
the original idea for Harry Potter on a
napkin while she was on state benefits
she was then rejected by 12 publishing
houses and this by the way was after she
was divorced bankrupt and a single mom
of a kid pushed herself pushed herself
pushed herself she talks a lot about
fear and about failure well you know we
know the moral of the story she just
kept going of course she was afraid but
she had the good kind of fear not the
bad kind of fear you don’t ever start
you stay trapped in your head and if you
feel paralyzed if you’ve been spinning
the same ideas over and over and over
again then you know what I’m talking
about you see many of you are thinking
way too Vic you’re attaching way too
much pressure on the things that you’re
interested in until you start blogging
about fashion you won’t even know if you
like it
so thinking that you have a dream about
doing it and thinking that you have this
grand plan that you’re gonna do it
full-time
it is a complete and utter waste of your
time to be dreaming that big and let me
tell you why because oftentimes if
you’re the kind of person like Vicky
that’s getting trapped up here the
bigness of what you’re thinking about is
what’s stopping you what I want you to
do if you’re in Vicki’s situation is I
want you to stop dreaming and I want you
to just start doing small things I want
you to go back to curiosity and less
into crushing your big goals the thing
about life and business and success is
that you have to be willing to start and
for people that procrastinate starting
is the hardest part for
people that worry for people that think
too big starting is the hardest part
folks that study procrastination talk
about the fact that the only way to beat
procrastination is to create what they
call a starting ritual which is a way to
push yourself to get started because all
the research shows that if we can push
you to get started on something you’ll
likely keep going we spend a lot of time
talking about mindset from the
standpoint of think positive so positive
things happen and I do believe in having
a positive mindset obviously I think
that the actions that you take are way
more important in terms of developing
that mindset but we don’t spend enough
time on what you were just talking about
which is understanding how the automatic
nature of worrying about stuff all day
long how that is making you less money
how it is making you less happy how it
is disconnecting you from your spouse
how it is keeping you unhealthy and how
it is a habit that robs you of joy and
opportunity and power and it is one of
the easiest habits to break number one
your life happens in five-second windows
number two in five seconds you can
control what you think you can decide
what you’re going to do and you can
change absolutely anything which changes
absolutely everything and so the
five-second rule is a mind trick that’s
all that it is a fancy way to call it as
a you know it’s a form of metacognition
but it’s basically a hack it’s a cheat
code okay and the way that it works and
this is the challenge with getting it
out there is that it sounds so
profoundly stupid like a gimmick that it
took a while for people to actually take
it seriously
good
and to really stack up the science to
make you know anybody that interacts
with it go holy Sh like this actually
works yeah so here’s what it is
basically the moment you catch yourself
hesitating or doubting or starting to
worry or about to chicken out or shrink
or shut up or whatever it is that you’re
about to do that is shrinking your power
you just go 5 4 3 2 1 you count
backwards 5 4 3 2 1
what happens when you do that don’t do
it out loud because it’ll scare somebody
it’s like going although you know we say
it’s it’s so simple that people live
skit in the making because that means
I’ve really made it through your kids
will use it on you so my kids will use
it on me so if I have a certain tone
that comes out I’ll hear my child will
go 5 4 through watch that tone mom you
know just alright mom 5 4 3 2 and I
thought you’re gonna go to the gym yes
so by counting backwards the the kind of
cheat code that you’re doing in your
mind is you are interrupting what are
called habit loops that get encoded in
the central part of your brain and you
are starting up the prefrontal cortex
it’s a little trick that causes focus
and it’s it’s a lot like having a mantra
because you’re shifting gears but the
thing about having a mantra is and I
suppose that as you count backwards more
and more and more you become used to it
but it becomes a habit that triggers
action so what you do is go 5 4 3 2 1
cut off this part of the brain awaken
this part of the brain and then move and
what happens with the counting backwards
is there’s nowhere to go after one and
your mind is socialized in a countdown
situation to go and so counting up won’t
work because you can keep going forever
and you do it in many aspects of your
life so it’s actually not something that
requires any focus
I said simple I didn’t say easy and the
reason why it’s not easy is because you
have to deal with you and now we know
that you’re a control freak and you’re
stubborn and you got all these excuses
you’re a real pain and I’m gonna teach
you though the very very simple way to
get what you want there’s only one rule
when it comes to productivity there’s
only one rule when it comes to success
there’s only run rule to getting
everything you’ve ever wanted and here
it is you’re never gonna feel like it
ever in any area of your life that you
don’t have what you want whether it’s
the amount of money the amount of people
on your team the amount of sales the
amount of trips for your family the read
if you only did the things that you
don’t feel like doing you’d have
everything you’ve ever wanted those
areas where you’re happy you do the work
those areas where you’re complaining you
don’t feel like it you don’t do it so
it’s a lot like kids if you think about
it what’s your job as a parent it’s to
make kids do the things they don’t feel
like doing so they can grow up and move
out and become independent adults my son
never feels like getting off the Dia’s
he never feels like putting his feet
down when he’s caught in the car my
daughter never feels like cleaning up
the Barbies I have no idea why they’re
always naked by the way always naked
and the funny thing is when you grew up
and moved out your parents never said to
you guess what you are a total pain in
the rear end you never feel like doing
anything you don’t feel like doing your
homework you don’t feel like going out
you don’t feel like making your bed you
don’t feel like saying hello to
strangers you don’t feel like using your
manners you don’t feel like cleaning
your room good luck to you so the only
way to get what you want is to parent
yourself but I’m gonna make it easy for
you we’re about to move you’ve learned a
ton about the brain now the brain is
going to screw you over the brain is
gonna go into autopilot the brain is
going to tell you it doesn’t feel like
doing things it’s trickery you now know
that so how do you be effective with
yourself knowing that you’re never gonna
feel like doing all the work that it
takes to have this business be
everything that it possibly could so
you’re gonna use the five-second rule
and what that means is this
from the moment that you have the idea I
should email out the Fall collection I
should go through the contact list for
my college or university and reach out
to people I should go through my contact
lists and invite 23 people this week to
just take the dogs for a walk I should
make a request of a friend and ask if I
can come to a presentation at lunch at
his law firm from the second you have
that idea you’ve only got five seconds
to take action otherwise it’s gone your
brain will swoop in so fast uh-oh
there’s an idea whoa no way
no wait you don’t feel like it you’re
overwhelmed you you’ve got five seconds
and that’s it today I want you to
practice this because what you’re going
to notice is you’re gonna notice a
little bit later like in the networking
section and you know afterwards and in
some of these events after this
particular speech you’re gonna notice
that you have an impulse you have an
impulse to walk towards somebody that’s
really successful that’s built a team
that could possibly help you and guess
what you’re not gonna do it you’ve
probably had them the entire time that
you’ve been here oh I should go over and
talk to this person hey I’ll catch them
later oh that person looks really
interesting I don’t know I should really
take some photos of this fall line and
start to eat that might be too pushy so
what do you do how does it work you have
the thought you’ve got five seconds
that’s it and what do you need to do
just say something out loud that’s one
way you could start walking the second
you feel like you should meet somebody
because you’re drawn to them again it’s
from here it’s not from here
start walking because if you’re already
walking the likelihood is you’ll
actually make it to them and then you’re
gonna say something write it down
schedule it send an email to yourself or
make the request one of the things that
was so interesting about talking to Tara
this morning is it was clear that a
couple people had been in there sharing
their brains out about Jay Hilbert and
yet it never progressed into the side of
the conversation of would you like
information would you like to do it
and I’m sure whoever it was it was lying
on the table probably had that thought
like you know I should I should say
something should I
getting facial is it weird to be talking
about business at the same time five
seconds gone talk yourself out of it I
am here for you and I’m here for you
because I believe there is greatness in
you and I know you feel it don’t you you
feel that there is more you feel that
there is there is something to do and
there is and so I am here to teach you
how to push that greatness to the
surface how to use one simple tool one
simple tool to find the clarity to
listen to your inner wisdom and the
courage to take action in the confidence
to keep going to keep going despite what
goes on because what I’m about to show
you I’m going to prove it to you is that
you can change anything in five seconds
and that fact will change everything
about your life everything now this what
I’m about to talk about it this was my
secret weapon for a long time and I
never intended on sharing it with
anybody because it sounds kind of stupid
when you talk about it hey you can
change your legs for five seconds you
know just count the five yeah right now
uh-huh you’re trying to sell a book I
know seriously I don’t want you to
dismiss the power in the ideas that I’m
about to share with you because they’re
so simple and what’s funny is I never
intended on talking about this I never
intended on talking about it because I
discovered it by mistake seriously about
eight years ago my life looked totally
different than it does today I was
unemployed
my husband had a small business that was
that was failing and failing miserably
and it took our home equity line and the
kids college savings and our 401k plans
right down the drain with it
and we have the liens hitting the house
we of course were fighting like crazy
because you know when life blows what do
you do you point the finger you say oh
it’s your fault oh it’s my boss’s fault
it’s the economy’s fault
oh this isn’t fair you know what’s
interesting about the way that human
beings are designed have you ever
noticed that when you blame somebody
else and you point the finger there’s
three fingers pointing right back at you
it’s a big reminder that the power is in
you but waking up every morning
unemployed I certainly didn’t feel
powerful you know what I needed I needed
confidence that was tapped out I needed
courage move nope didn’t have any of
that when the alarm rang this is what I
felt like doing with the clock have you
ever had one of those mornings right
where you’re like not today no not today
I do not want to get out of bed today I
would lie in bed the alarm would go off
and I would start thinking about the day
ahead and I would start feeling
overwhelmed and I would feel this sense
of dread and I would feel like such a
failure you know I remember this period
of our life and I remember having those
moments where I’d be at the grocery
store and the items would be scanning
and I would feel the fear rising up
because I didn’t know if the check card
was going to go through because I didn’t
have the courage to look at the bank
account
and so as I would lie in bed in the
morning and I would know by the way my
inner wisdom was there and your inner
wisdom is always there it’s always there
kind of nudging you pushing you begging
you to go forward my heroism was like
mal you need to get up and I’d be like
in the end I don’t feel like it I
developed this habit of hitting the
snooze button over and over and over
again every morning I became one of
those those parents where the kids were
always late and and you know here’s the
thing about life we don’t we don’t do
this we don’t ever kind of go to wake up
in the morning go go you know what I’m
gonna do today today today I’m gonna
screw up my life today I’m gonna hit the
snooze button four times I’m gonna blow
off exercise I’m gonna eat that whole
tray of donuts then I’m gonna go to work
and snap at people I’m gonna blow off
working at my business I’m gonna come
home and be mean to my spouse and
patient with my kids then I’m gonna
drink a ton it’s gonna be amazing
right you know we don’t do that what
happens is when you’re not paying
attention when you’re not really focused
on what you want when you’re not clear
you make these small decisions all day
long
that slowly take you off course
decisions based and self-doubt decisions
based in fear decisions based in panic
decisions based in resignation and
suddenly you wake up one morning like I
didn’t you’re like wait a minute wait
how did I get over there and more
importantly how do I get over here you
know we all know we need to change but
change is hard it’s hard when you don’t
feel confident it’s hard when you don’t
feel certain and that’s exactly how I
felt and I struggled and I struggled and
then one night it’s a really stupid
story I saw this rocket launching and
you know we’re gonna talk about this
word courage now when you hear the word
courage you think about the big stuff
don’t you you think about a
life-or-death moment you think about
your heroes I want you to consider that
courage is what you need every day that
there are conversations you have to have
that require courage
for me I need a courage to get out of
bed because our problems they just felt
so big so I struggled and struggled
because I knew what to do but I couldn’t
make myself do it if you ever felt that
way like so frustrated with yourself you
knew you need to exercise but you don’t
do it you know you need to drink less
but you don’t do it you know you need to
stop procrastinating but you don’t do it
you know you need to have the tough
conversations but you don’t do it you’re
stuck that’s how I was and then one
night I see this rocket launch and I say
oh my gosh that that’s it
that’s it I’m gonna launch myself out of
bed like a rocket ship tomorrow morning
it is gonna be amazing I’m gonna move so
fast that my mind cannot talk me out of
this now it could have been the four
manhattan’s talking you know that gave
me that idea because I had a drinking
problem that’s one of the things you do
you get emotional you reach for the
booze well for whatever reason the very
next morning I woke up I still had all
the same problems liens on the house
talking divorce with my husband of now
20 years just felt like such a loser I
did not feel like getting up I will
never forget this morning it was a cold
dark winter morning in February outside
of Boston Massachusetts and I just did
not feel like doing anything different
but I did one thing one thing that
changed everything I started counting
backwards five four three two one and
then all of a sudden I stood up and I
was like what the hell just happened and
the next morning five four three two one
I did it again and it worked five four
three two one I did it again and it
worked I couldn’t believe it and now
that I’m almost 50 I still use it at
2:30 in the morning when I wake up and I
have to go the bathroom and you know
like instead of like you know trying to
go back to bed five four three two one
and eat it here’s what I noticed I
noticed something that when I say this
to you you’re gonna be like oh my god
she’s right there is a five-second
window between the moment that your
inner wisdom tells you you need to speak
up you need to get to the gym you need
to say something you need to get to work
and your mind killing it
and if you start counting backwards five
four three two one you can close the gap
between the greatness and you that’s
dying to come to the surface and the
excuses that keep snuffing it down now I
never intended to tell anybody about
this because I started use this to get
up on time it started use it to
self-monitor so I didn’t snap at Chris
so I stopped drinking so much I started
to use it to go on job interviews and it
literally changed everything because I
started to change I stopped being the
kind of person that would think about
everything and I five four three two one
became the kind of person that started
acting and every time I took action I
started to build confidence now I gave
this talk a couple years ago about how
it changed my career so many times and
again I wasn’t gonna talk about the
five-second rule because it sounds
stupid and in full disclosure I didn’t
know why it worked and plus I didn’t
want you to have it this was working for
me
so why would I want you to have it right
so at the end of this talk this was the
spurge first speech I had ever given so
if you ever want to see somebody have a
twenty-one minute long panic attack this
is what it looks like I get off stage
and I’m like I’m never doing that again
and somebody puts the talk on line and
something crazy started to happen people
from around the world started to write
and they were all writing about this
stupid simple very powerful five-second
rule they were using it to find the
courage to reach out to people they were
using it to become number one in sales
they were sharing it with their teams we
know of 13 people that have stopped
themselves from committing suicide using
this rule this gentleman was a veteran
and he boarded the ferry with the
intention of jumping over he gets to the
railing and his inner wisdom kicks in I
don’t care how low you get I don’t care
how high you get your inner wisdom is
always there and when you hear it it is
magic when you listen to it it changes
everything as inner wisdom said this is
not the answer he went 5 4 3 2 1 and he
turned and he walked away we hear from
people all over the world people that
are using it to be more productive to
quit smoking after 23 years
license plates tattoos for crying out
loud look when people start tattooing
this thing on their body like I started
to feel a moral obligation to figure out
why it worked so I’m gonna tell you some
of the science behind this I’m gonna
explain how you can use it and then I’m
going to show you how five-second
decisions change everything so we all
hear this just do it right most famous
tagline in the world what’s the
difference between just do it and the
five-second rule
this is a concept concepts make you go
upstairs I don’t want you upstairs
this is behind enemy lines you’re not
gonna grow your business grow yourself
by thinking you got to take action right
before you’re about to do anything even
if you’re an Olympic athlete what do you
do you stop and you think and that’s the
kiss of death now stop and think if
you’re gonna get tattoo or sign a
contract but on the little stuff do not
stop and think because what happens when
your feelings of failure kick in and
they will you start to think and that
leads you to doubting yourself doesn’t
it and the same thing happens when you
feel nervous same thing happens when you
feel unsure the same thing happens when
you feel like you’re a fake the same
thing happens when you feel overwhelmed
look at all these feelings they’re
triggering you to think that’s the last
thing you should do this is what we call
a habit loop any pattern that you repeat
becomes a habit something you do without
even thinking so how do you break it you
train yourself to take action you train
yourself at the moment you feel nervous
you move why because when you take
action you actually build confidence
when you feel unsure and you move
forward anyway 5 4 3 2 1 you are
building the skill of confidence you are
bringing that greatness to the surface
now look south that’s normal feeling
overwhelmed is normal the people we
admire the most felt the same way you
ever heard the story of Michelangelo so
in the late and early 1500s he had never
painted a thing the Pope goes over to
see him and in his studio as he’s
carving a statue in the Pope Julius the
second turns to Michelangelo and says
hey Michelangelo I got some frescoes I
want you to paint in Vatican City
you know what Michelangelo felt totally
unsure do you know what he did he left
town he hid from the Pope for two years
that’s how unsure he was you know what
the Pope that he stalked him for two
years
pushed him until he actually painted
those frescoes how about a more recent
one how many of you heard of Hamilton
yeah Hamilton hit musical guess what
three and a half years ago it wasn’t
even finished
lin-manuel the guy that wrote it was
busy messaging with his wife Vanessa
what was he saying he was saying
something you and I can relate to when
it doesn’t happen as fast as I’d like it
to I have a hard time finding the
balance between not beating myself up
and not wasting time can’t you relate to
that she’s like you’re not unique dude
we all struggle with this we all all all
need the encouragement and the push you
know in this myth this photo makes me
sad because when I think about this kid
right and standing there the longer he
looks the more he thinks about it the
less likely he’s going imagine the
difference that a push makes imagine a
coach behind him right all right a coach
a coach going come on Sammy you got this
buddy you got this or an older brother
the problem is in life usually there’s
nobody there to push you it’s up to you
that’s why the five-second rule is your
new best friend this is what you’re
gonna use to push yourself the moment
you have an instinct to act on a goal
you know you should do some but you
don’t feel like getting out of bed I
don’t care 5 4 3 2 1 you don’t feel like
being nice to your spouse I don’t care 5
4 3 2 1 use this for behaviors that you
need to do and for those things that are
emotional that are killing you drinking
too much eating a bunch of garbage
smoking gambling addiction
when you feel the emotion drawing you
towards it 5 4 3 2 1 physically move
away from it what is this actually doing
in your mind when you count backwards
it’s pretty remarkable how such a simple
thing that’s something extraordinary
when you start counting backwards it is
an action when you start counting
backwards it requires focus when you
start counting backwards you are
manually switching the part of the brain
that you’re using you’re activating your
prefrontal cortex you’re interrupting
the habit loops of self-doubt of
procrastination of fear of anxiety and
you are taking control one five-second
decision at a time it truly is that
simple I didn’t say it was easy but it
is this simple and it’s not gonna be
easy because you’re gonna fight yourself
now there are three ways that you can
use this we’ve heard of literally
hundreds of thousands of waves we’ve
heard of from hundreds of thousands of
people in 90 different countries that
are using this rule and they fall into
kind of three buckets you can use this
rule to change any behavior five four
three two one push yourself to do
something that you know you need to do
five four three two one pull yourself
away from something that you know you
should not be doing you can use it for
courage five four three two one step
into that risk five four three two one
push yourself outside your comfort zone
and the most important way you can use
it is you can use it for mind control
this one matters the most to me so let
me explain to you how to use it so a lot
of people see me on stage or on CNN and
they’re like who that chick was just
born very confident very annoying and I
don’t you laugh because it’s true
not true I suffered from panic attacks
for over 20 years they started when I
was 19 years old they got so bad that I
was on Zoloft it was a miracle drug for
me and as I started to use the
five-second rule to literally I mean
change everything to go from facing
bankruptcy to running multi-million
dollar companies joining the teams at
CNN being a contributor to dr. oz and
success changing my marriage and how I
behaved
changing my health habits changing
everything because what the rule does is
it gives you control over your decisions
it gives you control over those
five-second moments that change
everything for you because in those
five-second moments it’s where all the
opportunity and the joy in your life is
so I have wondered about five years ago
I wonder if you could use this simple
stupid
brilliant rule to cure yourself of
anxiety the answer is yes you can so
I’ve been off meds for five years I
haven’t had a panic attack since hell I
don’t even worry about anything yes
because I have used this rule to
completely rewire how I think you’re
gonna hear a lot about mindset today you
want to adopt a growth mindset you want
to change your habits
this is a starting ritual that you can
use for any of them let me explain how
you do it in the mental game so if you
ever noticed how your thoughts drift
right you’re sitting in a meeting and
suddenly your thoughts are like bla bla
bla bla bla garbage garbage garbage
you suck suck suck suck right you know
whatever it is the second that you get
your thoughts drifting you’re gonna go 5
4 3 2 1 and yang come back here now the
counting backwards is essential it
doesn’t work to just try to change your
thoughts inserting the
five-four-three-two-one interrupts the
pattern of bad talk to yourself and self
doubt and anxiety it awakens your
prefrontal cortex so your brain is ready
ready to receive a new thought you know
I’m going to use an example that we can
all relate to to explain specifically
how to do this because I think this is
so important I used to be a nutcase
about flying I would get to the airport
and I’d be in the boarding area and I’d
be looking for Bishop TD jakes and I’d
be looking for babies and men and women
in uniform because I would say if
they’re getting on my plane God is not
letting this go down so then I I get on
the plane and I would buckle up and then
I’d start to feel the panic rising and
as soon as we take off and the plane
does that scary thing where you get up
and then all of a sudden feels like it’s
like turning off as it’s leveling off
then I would start to panic and I would
pull out my phone and I would start
texting my children you know mommy loves
you emoji emoji emoji because if I’m
gonna die in a plane crash
I want the
to know that as my last act as a human
being was to be the best mom on the
planet and then plus they got it for the
eulogy when they do the PowerPoint so
they can prove it to everybody and you
giggle you giggle because we’re sick
human beings we’re all sick right if we
were to put a speaker on your head and
broadcast the garbage you say to
yourself you wouldn’t be at success live
you’ve been an insane asylum for crying
out loud
but here’s the problem we listen to it
we listen to it you let it rob you of
your precious lifetime you let it keep
you
from stepping into your greatness you
let it stop you from saying what you
really believe you don’t have to second
you catch yourself thinking anything
that doesn’t serve you five four three
two one
take control five four three two one
insert a different thought every time I
talk about this when I fly I step on the
plane with an anchor thought I think
about where I’m gonna go and I flew here
you know what I thought about I thought
about you so every time the turbulence
happened I went 5 4 3 2 1 I thought
about you and my brain went oh she’s not
nervous about the plane she is so
excited to see everybody at Success live
this makes sense one of you many of you
are gonna text me right after this and
be like I can’t believe this mal use
that stupid simple thing you just talked
about and this is the first time I’ve
ever been able to get on a plane you can
change how you think five seconds at a
time
do not ever underestimate your power to
change the things that matter most to
you this is one of the most shared
stories in the history of social media a
lot of you are gonna recognize this this
is Brittany and her dad Todd now what
you can’t tell from this story is that
it’s been a horrible decade for this
family
you see Brittany and Brittany’s dad and
her mom got divorced and it’s been an
ugly divorce you know a lot of fighting
and the spouses can’t the new spouses
can’t stand each other well today is
Brittany’s wedding day and Todd is
walking his new wife up the aisle and he
has this inner wisdom kick in and he
says to himself today I’m gonna heal
this family doesn’t stop and think he
turns he walks back down the aisle and
instead of grabbing his daughter he
grabs her stepfather a man he hates I
mean look at the expression on the lady
next to them for crying out loud
and he invites him to walk their
daughter down the aisle five seconds
changes everything but I can tell you
firsthand because we interviewed this
family for CNN it certainly changed this
one so whether you are going to use the
rule – five four three two one get out
of your head and start that nonprofit
you’ve been thinking about for two
decades or you’re just going to five
four three two one get yourself out of
bed because you said you would or you
find yourself in one of the darkest
places of your life like Adam did so on
March 1st Adam was over in London he’s a
lawyer over there and he was sitting
with a bottle of pills and he was three
pills in and his inner wisdom kicked in
he knew that this was not the answer and
he also knew the five-second rule and he
won five four three two one and he got
up and he got in his car and he drove to
his doctor’s office and he had the
courage to listen he had the clarity to
seek help and he’s been using it ever
since and it’s like he has a friend with
him and he uses it to not interrupt
judges when he gets mad and as he writes
to us he says it’s not only literally
saved his life but he’s actually doing
pretty good and I’d like to introduce
you to because he’s flown here
[Applause]
I’m so proud of you don’t ever doubt
your ability to change your life to
change your life you know you have power
in you and now you know thank you it is
a privilege to share this with you thank
you please please please use it and
please let me know how you use it
seriously I it is such a I feel like I’m
just a messenger for something that’s
making a difference for people
everywhere so thank you for the
opportunity to share this with you
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