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Mel Robbins MOTIVATION – #MentorMeMel

what’s that believe nation it’s Evan my
one word is believe and I believe in you
I believe in your potential and I want
to see it be unleashed into the world to
create something special for you your
family in the world and so to help you
on your journey I started to mentor me
series to try to learn from people who
have done a lot more than us who’ve
reach for the stars and if we can learn
about their mindset their mentality how
they approach life hopefully some of
that seeps into us to help us become the
best version of ourselves so today we’re
gonna learn from Mel Robbins and some of
her best motivation mentor me Mel and as
always guys as you’re watching if you
hear something that really resonates
with you please leave it down in the
comments below and put it in quotes so
other people can be inspired and when
you write it down it’s much more likely
to stick with yourself as well enjoy
there are so many people in the world
and and you know you may be watching
this right now and you have these
incredible ideas and what you think is
missing is motivation and that’s not
true because the way that our minds are
wired and the fact about human beings is
that we are not designed to do things
that are uncomfortable or scary or
difficult our brains are designed to
protect us from those things because our
brains are trying to keep us alive and
in order to change in order to build a
business in order to be the best parent
the best spouse to do all those things
that you know you want to do with your
life with your work with your dreams
you’re gonna have to do things that are
difficult uncertain or scary which sets
up this problem for all of us you’re
never gonna feel like it motivations
garbage you you only feel motivated to
do the things that are easy we all have
a habit of hesitating we have an idea
you’re sitting in a meeting you have
this incredible idea and instead of just
you know saying it you stop and you
hesitate you can truly trace every
single problem or complaint in your life
to silence and hesitation those are
decisions and what I do and what’s
changed my life is waking up and
realizing that motivations garbage I’m
never gonna feel like doing the things
that are tough for difficult or in
certain or scarier news so I need to
stop waiting until I feel like it and
number two I am one decision away from a
totally different marriage a totally
different life a totally different job a
totally different income a totally
different relationship with my kids
your life comes down to your decisions
and if you change your decisions you
will change everything I’m the kind of
person that believes you should always
make decisions with your heart and soul
you can use your brain for math you can
use your brain to look at the fine print
in a contract but when it comes to the
actual feel of the decision you always
want to go inward
and check it against your heart and soul
how do you do that here’s the simple
test does the decision that you’re about
to make expand you expand your future or
expand the possibilities of your life if
the answer is yes then the decision is
yes no matter how terrifying it is if
you conversely look at the choice that
you have to make and the decision will
shrink you will silence you will inhibit
you in some way then the answer is no no
matter how easy the decision is no
matter how safe the decision is the
answer is no now one of the things I
want to point out that when you start to
use this does it expand or does it
shrink me does it open possibilities or
does it keep things closed does it raise
my voice or does it silence me right is
that there’s always a short-term and a
long-term impact to the decision the
short-term impact to making an expansive
decision a decision that’s based in your
heart in your soul sometimes it’s
terrifying because sometimes it means
moving or it means changing a job or
changing a relationship or having a
difficult conversation or starting
something new and those sorts of things
are always uncomfortable so brace for
impact put the force fields up but make
the decision anyway because the
long-term impact of making a decision
from your heart and soul that is where
the best life comes from because you’re
living for what’s true for you not
what’s safe in the moment I keep talking
about how you can change your life in
five seconds and that’s because in five
seconds flat
worry can hijack your mind fear can take
over and the smallest moves that you
really want to make consume terrifying
the opposite is also true in five
seconds flat you can take control back
do you know how often you hesitate and
stop yourself all day long there’s
actually a neurological reason why
change is so hard your brain is designed
to stop you from
changing let me explain you see change
requires you to do things that are
uncertain scary or new your brain is
designed to protect you from doing
things that are uncertain scary or new
what’s your brains favorite way to
protect you to trap you in your head by
making you overthink now activation
energy is something that was first
introduced into the field of human
behavior in psychology several decades
ago by a rockstar professor at the
University of Chicago that studied a
state of flow
his name was me Hyde Csikszentmihalyi
and he studied was one of the first
really to study human behavior human
performance and he coined this term
activation energy actually borrowed it
from chemistry and it’s a term that
describes this phenomenon in order to
start any kind of chemical reaction it
takes a tremendous amount of energy to
create that initial spark a lot more
energy to start it than to keep it going
there’s a direct correlation to you and
me have you ever noticed how hard it is
to just get started how hard it is to
get to the gym how hard it is to get out
of bed how hard it is to put down the
bottle when you go to pour a second
drink and you know you shouldn’t that
feeling how hard it is to get started
this is what me highs talking about you
need activation energy to start the
chain to start to sit down to start to
get out of bed to start to walk out the
door that’s the key to creating any kind
of change this activation energy inside
of you that causes the initial foam and
then what do we hear over time once you
start there’s a chain reaction and that
allows you to keep going so what’s this
have to do with the five-second rule
freaking everything the five-second rule
creates activation energy in you the
five-second rule is how you activate
change inside of you it is a tool when
you start counting 5 4 3 2 1
you awaken your prefrontal cortex you
begin the process of changing you push
yourself in a new direction that first
push that’s gonna be the hardest once
you get moving it gets so much easier if
you took money off the table if you
didn’t give a what anybody else
thought what’s the thing you would love
to be doing with your life seriously do
you dream of being a professional
photographer do you want to open your
own restaurant you always thought about
traveling the world and entertaining
kids with your juggling skills I don’t
know it’s your life you get to choose
what you want to do be honest with
yourself what is it that you would want
to do with your life if you didn’t have
to pay the bills doing it another thing
you can ask yourself who do you find
yourself sort of envious of you know
like you look at their life and you just
think gosh how awesome that they get to
do that well once you have that answer
for yourself you’ve gotten really honest
you push the bullet aside and you’ve
really asked it for yourself and
answered the question honestly all you
got to do is explore it that’s it just
find one thing that you can do to enrich
and expand your knowledge about it find
one course online Google the topic stalk
people that are pursuing this line of
work that’s how you start to do it one
step of time so start with answering the
question what do you really want with a
massive dose of honesty google the topic
and find one thing that you can do just
one push yourself and start to explore
if you were to wake up and do that every
single day spend 10 minutes a day you
would be startled astonished by what
your life looks like in a matter of a
year or two and I think everybody has
fear all wrong people have so many
theories about fear they talk about oh
I’m afraid of success know I’m afraid of
failure I’m afraid of intimacy I’m
afraid of heights I’m afraid of this I’m
afraid of that I’m afraid of the other
thing there’s actually only two fears
only two and if you’re in sales which
you are or even if you’re not life is
about persuading people life is about
influencing people
and fear is the invisible force that
will make you ineffective at that it
will stop you now I love JK Rollins as
an example I mean we all know the Harry
Potter series but what a lot of people
don’t know about her she talks a lot
about fear she struggled with major
depression do you know she was
unemployed and she wrote the original
idea for Harry Potter on a napkin while
she was on state benefits
she was then rejected by 12 publishing
houses and this by the way was after she
was divorced bankrupt and a single mom
of a kid pushed herself pushed herself
pushed herself she talks a lot about
fear and about failure well you know we
know the moral of the story she just
kept going of course she was afraid but
she had the good kind of fear not the
bad kind of fear we live in the most
amazing moment in time so that thing
that you have up here whatever it may be
you want to use healthy eating to cure
your diabetes you want to figure out how
to take care of the elders and start a
new hospice center you want to move to
Africa and build a school guess what you
can walk into a bookstore right now and
buy at least 10 books written by
credentialed experts on how the hell you
you could google it and you could
probably find at least I don’t know a
thousand blogs documenting the step by
step by step transformation that
somebody else is already doing you can
find anybody online and cyberstalk them
you can just walk in their footsteps and
let that you know just use the science
of drafting follow what everyone else
has done cuz somebody else is already
doing it
so why don’t you have what you want when
you have all the information that you
need you have the contacts that you need
there are probably free tools online
that allow you to start a business or
join a group or do whatever the heck you
want it all comes down to one word
shut the front door you know what I’m
talking about
the f-bomb it’s everywhere you hear it
all the time and I honestly don’t
understand what the appeal is of the
word I mean you don’t sound smart when
you say it and it’s really not
expressing how you really feel
it’s sort of a cheap you know shot to
take and of course you know I’m talking
about the word fine how you doing I’m
fine oh really
you are drag it around those extra 40
pounds you’re fine
feeling like roommates with your spouse
and you’re fine you haven’t had sex in
four months you’re fine really I don’t
think so
but see here’s the deal with saying that
you’re fine it’s actually genius because
if you’re fine you don’t have to do
anything about it but when you think
about this word fine it just makes me so
angry I mean here we are at a conference
about being alive and you’re gonna
describe the experience of being alive
as fine a flimsy and feeble word your
crappy say your crappy if you’re amazing
say you’re amazing tell the truth and
this not only goes for the social
construct oh I don’t want to burden you
with the fact that I hate my life or you
know I am amazing but that would make
you feel terrible
the bigger issue the bigger issue with
fine is that you say it to yourself that
thing that you want I guarantee you
you’ve convinced yourself that you’re
fine not having it that’s why you’re not
pushing yourself it’s the areas in your
life where you’ve given up where you’ve
said oh I’m fine
my mom’s never gonna change so I just
can’t have that conversation I’m fine
you know we got to wait until the kids
graduate before we get divorced so we’ll
just sleep in separate bedrooms I’m fine
I lost my job I can barely pay my bills
but whatever it’s hard to get a job and
you know one of the reasons why this
word also just
annoys me so much is scientists have
calculated oh yeah I’m coming down
scientists have calculated the odds of
you being born that’s right they’ve
crunched the numbers I see you up there
they have crunched the numbers on you
yeah no you guys standing up you want to
sit down for this they’ve crunched the
numbers on you being born and they took
into account all of the wars and the
natural disasters and the dinosaurs and
everything else and do you realize that
the odds the odds of you yeah right here
put your computer way stand up for me
son so the odds of Doug here turn around
say hi to everybody the odds yeah of
Doug Doug being born at the moment in
time he was born to the parents you were
born to with the DNA structure that you
have a hundred or no one and four
hundred trillion isn’t that amazing
so lucky yes you’re not fine you’re
you have life-changing ideas for a
reason and it’s not the torture yourself
thank you thank you Doug you know
Christine was right when she said all of
you could be on stage because all of you
are all in this category one and four
hundred trillion all day long you have
ideas that could change your life that
could change the world that could change
the way that you feel and what do you do
with them nothing oh hopefully it won’t
moon you
you didn’t pay for that you must come up
with a morning routine that you do every
single morning or at least more mornings
than not that puts you in control of
yourself and in control of your day this
is what I do and I cannot explain the
power that I get from starting my day
off and being bigger than my excuses and
being in control
first and foremost wake up on time when
that alarm goes off get your butt out of
bed 5 4 3 2 1 go why is that important
for persistence the reason why is
because the first decision that you’re
making of the day is to actually get up
and get moving that means you are
persistently bigger than your excuses
you are persistently bigger than feeling
lazy and you are persistently beating
the feelings that typically stop you the
second thing that I want you to do
before you look at your email before you
answer your phone
before you start surfing box advice and
BuzzFeed and you know team stream and
checking out the sales on Zappos and
looking at your Facebook newsfeed before
you pick up the damn phone please please
please figure out your two priorities
for the day these are the things that
matter to you whether it’s saving money
and making sure you’re focused on that
or showing up at work and being a
contributor or whether it’s changing how
you treat your spouse or your kids or
the person that you’re with her hack
getting to the gym because you said you
would whatever it is that your two
priorities are put them in your head
before you pick up the phone why the
reason why is because of persistence the
reason why is because I want you to have
a good day
do you know what makes for a bad day
what makes for a bad day is snoozing
starting your day off late starting your
day off tired starting your day off by
mainlining everybody else’s newsfeed on
social media and looking at everybody
else’s life and and saying to yourself
oh my god they’re on vacation or gosh
they look so great or your friends are
so fancy or my gosh they’ve got so money
you start off your day looking at that
you’re never gonna have a good day
you got to start off your day by getting
up on time figuring out your priorities
and then getting to work on them do not
pick up your phone until you have done
those two things I think the single
biggest reason why people have bad days
is because they start them off by
looking around at everybody else and
seeing what they’re doing instead of
having the focus and the discipline to
actually start your day off with you in
control and with your priorities front
and center so you want a bonus rad
exercise every day that’s right get up
on time figure out your pre-trip
priorities and exercise you do those
three things you’ll be kicking ass every
single day thank you guys so much for
watching I hope you enjoyed I’d love to
know what did you take in this video
what are you going to immediately apply
somehow to your life or to your business
please leave your thoughts down in the
comments below I look forward to hearing
what you have to say I also want to give
a quick shout out to surge wisdom thank
you so much for picking up a copy of my
book your one word and making those
awesome YouTube videos on it as well I
really really appreciate the support and
I’m so glad you enjoyed the read
so thank you guys so much for watching I
believe in you I hope you continue to
believe in yourself and whatever your
one word is much love guys I’ll see you
soon the most important work ever if you
had to think of one word that’s most
important to you that sums you Apple
that would be collect a little beacon
pay believe nation if you want to know
what the most important one word is for
Tony Robbins Gary Vaynerchuk
Oprah Winfrey and Howard
Schultz I have a very special secret
video for you check the description for
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