what is your best piece of advice for
the next generations influencers you get
to work your butt off if you think that
you’re gonna go and accomplish something
really special and be the best in
anything in the world and you think you
can do it without working you make a big
mistake
because no matter what I did if it was a
bodybuilding or an acting or if it is in
the political arena it always took a lot
a lot of work and you gotta put out and
you got the you know something to make a
lot of sacrifices notice if you’re not
willing to work hard forget about it so
there’s another rule that is very
important you gotta have a plan
everybody’s got a dream
everybody’s got a goal what’s the plan
and your plan has got to have something
I call the c5 complex your plan has got
to be clear concise compelling
consistent and committed you’ve got to
have a plan and when you’re trying to do
something that you are truly passionate
about there is no plan B okay Plan B
okay so it’s as simple as that you gotta
have a plan I mean think about that for
a second mm three examples Michael
Jordan won six NBA championships with
the Chicago Bulls because he was
committed to playing a not plan B Oprah
Winfrey became the queen of all media
because she was committed to plan a not
Plan B whatever your politics are Barack
Obama is sitting in the White House
because he was committed to plan a not
Plan B okay Plan B sucks
most people have good great goals I want
to increase my income and lose weight
and get out of debt and be thin and
happy and healthy and have a wonderful
family but then then they decide but
before I start I’m going to take a
vacation to a beautiful place called
someday Isle and in my estimation 80% of
the population lives on some day I’ll
some day I’ll lose some weight and some
day I’ll read that book and listen to
that program and join the nest the YES
Network and there’s some day I’ll get
out of death some day I’ll increase my
income but it’s always some day I’ll if
you want to be a great success there’s
one simple rule is vote yourself off the
island for life if you decide you’re
going to do something do it you know
what they’ve done dozens and dozens of
studies over the years they find that
there’s one major difference between
successful people and unsuccessful
people as successful people launch they
start they get on with it they just do
it unsuccessful people get the same
ideas in the same information but
they’ve always got an excuse for not
starting so I get up super early
generally I have this thing where I like
beating the Sun up not just in terms of
what Sun comes and I have to get up and
how do I do it it’s just important to
find balance and I try and do things
really that I really enjoy doing and a
lot of times you know it’s like in life
right life brings like drama and you got
to deal with this person I think you
hear all these things you try and just
kind of balance them out as best I can
take care about everything and it starts
with yourself look yourself in the
mirror and ask yourself what do I want
to do every day for the rest of my life
do that I promise you can monetize that
if you love out
do an elf blog you collect Smurfs Smurfs
it up whatever you need to do do it so
many people are talking about I can’t
monetize I can’t monetize there’s a
billion seven-year-old douchebags that
are in control right now
but the number two person that 34 year
old lady she’s gonna buy your she’s
gonna put the advertising on your stuff
it’s coming stop crying and just keep
hustling tell the truth or at least
don’t lie yeah well it’s not that easy
to tell the truth because who knows
about the truth but you can learn not to
say things that you know to be false and
if you stop saying things that you know
to be false then your life will improve
a lot simplifies it and it puts you in
the lineman with reality and you should
be in alignment with reality because
there’s a lot more of it than there is a
view well most successful entrepreneurs
have gone bust you know Henry Ford an
old-time entrepreneur he went bust five
times
look at Steve Jobs his own board fired
him yeah you know Bill Gates was taken
before the Supreme Court for
monopolistic practices right even my
friend Donald Trump went down a billion
dollars yeah I only went down a million
so the average person is so afraid of
those losses they never get ahead
because at school they teach you if you
make a mistake or if you fail you’re a
failure that’s not real life
a baby alarms to walk by standing up and
falling down standing up and falling
down and our school system punishes you
for making mistakes that’s why my poor
dad an academic was so unsuccessful he
was terrified of making mistakes one of
the big challenges for everybody having
a unique idea and then taking it through
to fruition
there’s always hard right it’s never
easy there’s always people are going to
question you and being able to take that
first step and fight through all the
naysayers you know it it it’s a process
but once you start to get traction
whether it’s uber whoever maybe you know
and you’re taking steps that nobody else
has that’s when you really have to fight
and you know now particularly where we
don’t have an administration that’s
particularly tech literate I think
there’s going to be new challenges and
so the companies that are emerging today
maybe some of them are here at South by
Southwest you know maybe it’s gonna be a
little bit more difficult but still
there’s there’s no less need and it’s no
less important you know it’s as the
world changes and I think it’s going to
change more over the next 10 years
technologically than has the past 30
we’re going to need people to disrupt
and make our make the world better I
know that everybody’s problem comes down
to one pattern you’re repeating that you
can’t see and that pattern is getting
triggered by something that happened in
your past that left you with this
emotional scar and so for me the thing
that I always always always have to deal
with and myself is the fear of
disappointing somebody so if I’m in a
situation where I start to feel that
it’s an old trigger and so when you
finally have a word
describes in a visceral way this thing
you hate about yourself or this thing
that triggers you or whatever it may be
that’s where the power comes because now
you can name the thing that was once
controlling you and so if you can
identify first of all the pattern you
keep repeating that makes you miserable
or doesn’t serve you or makes you lose
your power or has you go numb then you
can start to go back and say well where
did I where did I first start doing this
and what was the experience that
triggered it because that’s the root of
the problem right there and when you
expose all of that the trigger and the
emotional button like my I’m afraid of
disappointing people I’m afraid of
disappointing people I’m not worthy I’m
not worthy
you know I’m pissed off that I that this
is happening to me now you have the
ability to change it forever discipline
I had to get into was all I was paying
myself first even when I had no money
and when I have all these bill
collectors calling me I use them as
inspiration oh wonder how the
government’s hounding you bill
collectors call that because I’ve been
broke okay you understand what it feels
like to me bro when those guys are
calling you instead of you know
shrinking and going into the shell and
eating my pizza I use it as motivation
to go out and make more money so I use
it I used my bill collectors as
motivation and that’s why I paid myself
first even though sometimes I would you
pay yourself I was blunt assets I buy a
house or I’d put money in the bank and
things like this but it was just a habit
exact what you’re talking about
it’s up here it’s about changing the way
you think the whole book is about that’s
because we’re our biggest asset we’re
also a biggest liability passion is not
an actionable word it’s correct you know
that those who do the things that
they’re passionate about do better but
it’s not helpful advice and so the
question is where does passion come from
passion is a result passion is an energy
passion is the feeling you have when
you’re engaged in something that you
love passion is the feeling you have
that you would probably do this for free
you know and you can’t believe somebody
pays you to do it you know and I think
we mistake that passion is something we
do in our private lives but it shouldn’t
be done you know in our careers for
example and I’m a firm believer that you
are who you are
and anybody who says I’m different at
home than I am at work and one of those
two places you’re lying and the goal is
to make everything you do in home and it
works something that you have excitement
to do so how do you find the things that
you’re excited to do well it’s actually
easier than you think what are the
things that you love to do what are the
things that you would do for free you
know how can you recreate that feeling
and and be pay for it so what are the
things that I do on the weekend right I
love I’m very involved in the art world
I love to go to museums and galleries
but I love to go see dance and
performances because I want to see how
others are interpreting the world so
that inspires me new ideas new thoughts
new ways of looking at the world are
things that interest me privately and I
seek it out and pay money for it right
so does that mean I have to have a
career in the arts no it means I have to
have a career where new ideas are
explored where people are experimenting
and trying things out and I have to
explore new ideas and try things out and
I’m just as excited to go to work
everyday as I am just you know go do
something on a Saturday night and so the
idea of finding your passion is
ironically simple because you should be
doing stuff that you enjoy sometimes
what is the stuff that you enjoy and
then what is the stuff that you love who
are the people that you love and what
are that’s where they all have in common
you got to get some haters you need
haters no school is gonna teach you how
to get a hater okay high school
elementary school colleges what do they
teach you want to be the most popular
person no you want haters okay the
companies that are hated are the
companies that are exploding the people
that are hated are the people that
explode if I don’t hate you if nobody
hates you nobody knows you so the reason
I’ll tweet for instance when we started
we had this that newsletter that I sent
out okay we sent it out every week we
were hitting people
once a month and we started getting
complaints you send stuff out too much
my office came to me we went to twice a
month
they came to me we have more people
pulling off of the newsletter good
double up again why I want haters okay
so we start sending out one every week
and then I started a Twitter account I
actually had people write grant cardone
social media people grant cardone is an
example of what not to do with social
media
I said freaking just multiply just
increase it okay we were doing like four
tweets a day good due to an hour why
because I want my competition hating my
guts someone I’m talking about me I mean
I don’t really want hate people to hate
me you understand what I’m saying about
I want them so so energized that they
actually start pushing me they start
promoting me many people have this idea
I want to achieve something great or be
somebody great and they neglect the step
that leads to greatness they don’t honor
this step in this moment because they
have this idea of some future moment
where they are going to be great right
some people believe I’m doing great work
I mean I am because the consciousness is
moving through this form I don’t feel
personally responsible for what I do
it’s not but even there it is small
steps when the writing happens is a
notepad and a pen unless the present
moment and there’s a stillness very
small is not some idea I’m going to
create a work that’s going to change
everybody’s consciousness no I’m just
true to this moment what is this moment
requires it’s a blank piece of sheet of
paper and a pen and the stillness it’s a
small thing it’s all a sequence of very
small moments and fine being true to
this small moment something great arises
think big because then you’re gonna get
big then you’re gonna go and achieve big
things that is the most important thing
you know we don’t achieve big things by
accident so shoot for the top shoot for
the skies further you know
for the stars I love being a drummer
it’s such a nice position in a band
everyone thinks you’re dumb what they
don’t realize is that if it weren’t for
you their band would suck you know I’ve
always loved being the drummer I don’t
necessarily need to be the dude out
front I don’t I never imagined myself a
frontman at the same time I don’t mind
bringing the party the 85,000 people lip
at the stage being you know being the
frontman of the band it’s nice to have
both you know there’s that balance
between the two if you ever start
feeling like nobody’s paying attention
to me well then you go you be the singer
of the Foo Fighters for a while and when
you’re like goddamn I’m sick all this
Bush to being the drummer and the
vultures or whatever too many of us for
a long time they’ve confused our network
and ourself what your network is going
to fluctuate it’s going to go up and
down that’s what money does but your
self-worth should not who you are what’s
important to you how you live your
values should never be negotiable
compromised
and should never settle again we have
gotten to this point what we’ve got to
say to ourselves my net worth is not my
self-worth I think it’s really to be
true to yourself and listen as much as
one is able to other people whose
opinions you respect and look up to but
in the end it has to come from from you
and you you can’t really worry too much
by looking to the left or the right
about what the competition might be
doing or other people in your field
might be doing it has to be a true
vision from getting what you want life
is the boat story you tell yourself of
why you can’t have it get that what
stops there’s no way you can go what
imagine like the success in sales in
life it’s like a road map right you know
where you want to go and you have this
perfect strategy the straight line to
get there it’s a perfect strategy it’s
gonna get you there every single time
but if you don’t know your starting
point if you’re not getting Ozlem where
you actually are it doesn’t matter how
powerful the strategy is and it doesn’t
matter how powerful your goals I’m gonna
actually set a goal today write a 60 day
goal and let’s say you really set this
goal and I’ll show you how to do it in a
brilliant way so it’s visceral so it
makes you really feel it you see it you
sense if you smell a goal that’s step
one I’m gonna teach you this straight
line which is your strategy to get to
your goal but if you’re not honest with
where you are right now your starting
point the map is worthless there’s three
things that you need to know where you
are where you want to go and how you’re
gonna get there those are the three
things you must have to take advantage
of any opportunity I’m gonna give you
the strategy I’m gonna actually tell me
exactly where you want to go for
yourself
you gotta get honest don’t blame the
boss don’t blame the leaves don’t blame
your job double in the industry you’re
in just get out of it you don’t like
your industry find another one my life
changed a couple years ago and I
discovered something called the progress
principle it is a principle that was
written about in the Harvard Business
Review it’s based on a tremendous amount
of research done by a professor over
there and what she determined is that
people that feel happy and successful
and fulfilled by their lives and work
they all have one thing in common they
feel as though they’re making progress
on something that matters so I read this
little bit of research and I started
applying it to my life and what I do as
stupid as it sounds it really works I
don’t focus on balancing everything I
focus on just making sure that I make
progress on one thing a day that’s right
you heard me one thing a day that
matters to me now if I can make progress
on one thing a day that matters to me
then I can let go and let the rest of my
day get hijacked by kids by spouse by
phone calls by emails by social media by
all kinds of things that come up and
tend to hijack your day when you’re a
busy person when you have a family when
you’re married when you got a lot going
on and so by focusing on one thing a day
I feel the sense of control in the sense
of progress that science tells us will
make you happy and make you feel more
confident and actually make you more
effective at getting things done it also
frees me up to be more present with my
kids just having a debate with a friend
of mine and we got stuck when the
difference between fault
and responsibility she kept talked about
how something was somebody’s fault
somebody’s fault and I was like it
really don’t matter whose fault it is
that something is broken if it’s your
responsibility to fix it for example is
it’s not somebody’s fault if their
father was an abusive alcoholic but it’s
for damn sure their responsibility to
figure out how they’re gonna do with
those traumas and try to make a life out
of it it’s not your fault if your
partner
cheated and ruined your marriage but it
is for damn sure your responsibility to
figure out how to take that pain and how
to overcome that and build a happy life
for yourself fault and responsibility do
not go together it sucks but they don’t
when something is somebody’s fault we
want them to suffer we want them
punished we want them to pay and we want
it to be their responsibility to fix it
but that’s that’s not how it works
especially when it’s your heart your
heart your life your happiness is your
responsibility and your responsibility
alone as long as we’re pointing the
finger and and stuck in whose fault
something is we’re jamming and trapped
into victim mode when you’re in victim
mode you’re stuck in suffering the road
to power is in taking responsibility
your heart your life your happiness is
your responsibility and your
responsibility alone if you’re hungry
and you eat well that’s good but it’s
over and then you’re on to the next
thing right it’s not exactly sustaining
it’s just necessary that’s called
consumed Ettore reward by the way this
other reward system is incentive reward
and the incentive reward system works on
dopamine this neurochemical dopamine
which is also the neurochemical tracks
that opiates and cocaine and
amphetamines the drugs that people
really like to abuse alcohol often for
some people activate and so you might
say if you don’t have enough meaning in
your life then you’re more prone to
addiction and that’s definitely the case
even with rats if you take a rat you put
him in a cage by himself and he has
nothing to do and then you give him
access to cocaine he’ll get addicted to
the point where he won’t do anything but
take cocaine but if you throw the rat
back in with a bunch of other rats and
he gets to do rat things then it’s very
hard to get him addicted to cocaine and
so the purposeless rat is prone to
addiction well it’s the same with human
beings now here’s a corollary to that
which is really cool so the magnitude of
the reward you experience as you’re
moving towards a goal is proportionate
to the importance of the goal so that
means the more important
goal you pick the more possibility there
is for the kind of reward let’s say it’s
really a state of being that is
life-affirming
and it is directly life-affirming in
that you know like if you’re in a
football game and you’re and it’s an
important football game and maybe you
break a finger and you know normally
that’s that’s a problem it hurts and
you’re gonna stop doing whatever you’re
doing but if you’re right in the middle
of the game then you’ll be so amped up
on this reward system that its analgesic
it stops the pain it also suppresses
anxiety so if you have a purpose then
its analgesic it takes some of the pain
out of life it’s very positive in that
it motivates and energizes you and
focuses you and makes you able to
remember and pay attention and it quells
fear and so those things are all direct
and so then you might think well what’s
the best possible goal well and that’s
that’s the purpose I would say of
religious training and philosophical
training it’s like just what the hell
are you doing in the world you know
you’re always affected by opinion but
the more opinions there are of you the
more I the less I look at them because I
just can’t live my life based upon what
other people think about me so I can’t
concern myself too much with what other
people think you know it’s just not
healthy I don’t think I can I could
continue to do what I do if I was
constantly worrying about what somebody
thought about it one habit that I
developed when I when I was at college
it was actually very bad habit which was
I like to show people that I didn’t do
any work and that I didn’t go to classes
and I didn’t care and then at the very
last minute like two days before the
test I get serious about it and and
people people thought that was funny you
know that was my positioning the guy who
did nothing until the last minute then
when I went into business that was a
really bad habit and it took me a couple
years to get over that nobody praised me
because I would do things at the last
minute and I tried to reverse to
students I’d actually I didn’t think
that highly of who were always organized
and had things done on time
still working on it but procrastination
is not a good good habit bill can change
clothes in the car you stare at your
past and you’ll end up staying there
it’s okay to look back and admire it
but you carry on I’m not I’m not in the
business of staring staring back at it
you know I mean I’m getting lost back
there it’s people say you can people say
a loss can make a break a fight that but
trust me a win can also make a break a
fire because they get comfortable with
it with a win people can get comfortable
with it with a win and and and slack off
then slack off on the train and slack
off on the diet they’ve won more they’re
winners now that’s not me you know you
sleep on a you sleep on a win and you’ll
wake up with a loss so I just carry on
keep doing what I’m doing and that’s why
these turnaround is so good for me
Vegas straight away the Fighting Irish
head to the fighting capital it’s it’s
perfect continue on this path the
freight train straight to the top I
talked to so many smart fantastic
ambitious idealistic hard-working kids
and they’re right out of college they’re
in their entry-level jobs and I’ll ask
them how is it going and they’ll say I
think I’m gonna quit and I’m like why
they say to me I’m not making an impact
I’m like you know you’ve been here eight
months right they treat the sense of
fulfillment or even love like it’s a
scavenger hunt like it’s something you
look for my millennial friends they’ve
gone through so many jobs they’re either
getting fired I mean it was mutual or
they’re quitting because they’re not
making an impact or they’re not finding
the thing they’re looking for they’re
not feeling fulfilled as if it’s a
scavenger hunt
love a job you find joy from is not
something you discover it’s not like I
found love here it is I found a job I
love that’s not how it works both of
those things require hard work you are
in love because you work very hard every
single day of your life to stay in love
you find a
job that brings you ultimate joy because
you work hard every single day to serve
those around you and you maintain that
joy it’s not a discovery but the problem
is the sense of impatience it’s as if an
entire generation is standing at the
foot of a mountain they know exactly
what they want they can see the summit
what they can’t see is the mountain this
large amove Abul object that doesn’t
mean you have to do your time that’s not
what I’m talking about take a helicopter
climb I don’t care but there’s still a
mountain life career fulfillment
relationships our journeys the problem
is this entire generation has an
institutionalized sense of impatience
and do they have the patience to go on
the journey to maintain love to feel
fulfilled or do they just quit and on to
the next dump and on to the next ghost
and on to the next the nature of
capitalism is that people want to come
in and take your capsules perfectly
understandable I mean if I’m solving
television sucks or something there’s
gonna be ten other people are gonna try
and sell a better television set if I
have a restaurant here in Omaha people
are gonna try and copy my menu and get
more parking and take my chef and so on
so capitalism is all about somebody
coming and trying to take the castle now
what you need is you need a castle that
has some durable competitive advantage
some castle that has a moat around it
and that moat that’s one of the best
moats in many respects is to be a
low-cost producer but sometimes the
motors just having more talent I mean if
you’re the heavyweight champion of the
world and keep knocking out people
you’ve got a competitive advantage as
long as you can keep doing it and it’s
very profitable if you’re the one that
happens to be able to do it if you can
turn out great motion pictures I mean
you know Steven Spielberg I mean he he
he’s a fella but on and and it has
enormous economic value make a list of
ten things ten goals that you’d like to
accomplish in the next year or so and
ask this question if I could only
accomplish one goal on this list which
one goal would have the greatest
positive impact on my life if you could
only accomplish one goal in life which
one goal would have the greatest
positive impact
your life now for most people especially
when you’re maturing in your career when
you’re growing up the biggest goal is
money if you had money then you could
buy a house home car family lifestyle
and so on so that’s quite normal for
other people it may be a health goal for
business owners may be a business goal
for people with relationship problems
may be a relationship goal but ask
yourself if you could achieve one goal
or resolve one problem and remember a
problem unsolved is merely a goal
unachieved which one would it be and
write that down and make that that the
major a definite purpose of your life
make it the central organizing principle
of your life you can’t give away what
you don’t have now it sounds ridiculous
okay but it’s more than what meets the
ear as you hear this you can’t give away
what you don’t have people who are not
good at giving away love can’t give away
love because they don’t have it to give
away if I want to give you a dozen
oranges I can’t give you those dozen
oranges unless I go out and pick up
twelve oranges someplace
otherwise all it is is just empty
rhetoric and the same thing is true of
virtually everything in your life you
can’t give away love for others if you
don’t have love in here to give away if
what you have in here is contempt if
what you have in here is anger if you
haven’t here is fear then these are the
things you’re going to be giving away in
your life talking about past and future
and excessive emphasis on past and
future in your life yes of course you
need to have it there’s nothing wrong
with having a certain intention of what
you want to achieve take steps to Ward’s
it it’s a it’s part of living here in
this dimension you can’t just say I’m
never going to plan anything anymore
just take life as it comes
well some people try to do that but
they’re not that happy either after a
while so then your life will get very
diffused and so to have an intention to
have to make a plan perfectly fine what
you either short term plan like I got to
meet you tomorrow at 4 o’clock how would
you ever meet anybody if we didn’t have
time and and future and a practical
level of course it’s needed the question
is whether future takes over your mind
being able to use it for practical
purposes it will cause great but I call
it clock time is fine but psychological
time is when the future takes over your
mind and your entire sort patterns are
geared only towards future and you treat
the present moment as either just a
means to an end because enables you to
get to the next one you’re always
reaching out so to speak internally to
the next yet never quite here always
looking for some fulfillment there so
you can never embrace the fullness of
now all you make them now into even an
enemy some people are always unhappy
with you perhaps we all know some one or
two people like that 3 we all who are
wherever they are they’re they
complaining is never quite right
wherever they are or whoever they are
ways after a little while they’re very
uncomfortable again there should be
somewhere else you know the bumper
sticker that you see in some cars in
Gila various versions of it says I’d
rather be golfing and then another one
says I’d rather be fishing I’d rather be
this I’d rather be there when I visited
the the spiritual teacher Ram Das who
lives in Hawaii he has a bumper sticker
on about Ram Dass was the person who in
the 70s wrote the book be here now that
anyway he has a bumper sticker on his
car that says I’d rather be here now so
and and then you realize you can
actually you can still pursue whatever
an intense where you want to get to a
plan I called it it’s a bit like a
journey your life is a journey you’re
going you know you want to go from here
to there whether you’re going to get
there we don’t know maybe on the way
you’ll branch out to somewhere else but
at least you have a certain direction
it’s good to have some direction in your
life but while you are traveling if the
that your destination takes up most of
your attention and you’re continuously
focusing on there you miss all the
journey really you can’t enjoy the
journey anymore and most of your life is
the journey the arriving is relatively
and a few more graduation but so those
moments are not that fine feel between
so the rest is the journey and if you
can’t enjoy the journey which means the
step you’re taking at this moment it’s
really the most important thing yes of
course you know you’re going that way
but this step is still to be enjoyed
because that’s ultimately your whole
life consists of the step you are taking
at this moment there is never anything
else complete the day and leave no tasks
that I have to finish in the morning
it’s that that’s it and so it’s not
necessarily that I have a specific word
but there are particular things that I
do number one totally set up the kids so
that means pack their lunches it means
get the backpacks ready it’s school
season and get them by the door it means
if there’s any forms that need to be
filled out or printed or anything else
that they are printed then you’re ready
to go so kids are handled second thing I
love the kitchen clean I don’t ever want
to wake up in the morning and walk in
there and see crap that I have to do
I don’t want dishes in the sink I don’t
want things on the counter and so I make
sure that the kitchen is clean that the
counters are cleared off and that there
is no nothing that you need to do in the
kitchen because it will distract me in
the morning I would feel guilt
I don’t feel obligated to get that done
third thing that I do is I try to set
out the stuff for breakfast and the
reason why I do that is because my kids
will wake up at various times and so if
I’ve got that thing set up I’ve just
bought myself a couple more minutes of
quiet in the morning before the parade
of children come running down the stairs
starving and wanting breakfast the other
thing that I do is I go to my computer
and I print out the day calendar for the
day ahead and then I take that printout
and I take my notebook that has all of
my travel
kind of everything that’s laid out for
the business that I run my speaking
schedule and stuff relating to the kids
and I move it all to the kitchen now my
mailings I’m doing this so that when I
leave my bedroom in the morning and I
walk into the kitchen and to have thirty
minutes of quiet time for myself to get
focused and plan my priorities
everything set it’s all been handled
there’s no thinking involved it’s
amazing then once that’s all handled I
turn off all the lights I lock the front
door
when I walk into my bedroom the very
first thing that I do
I accept my alarm and then I plug my
phone in in my closet if you want to
make progress and things I think that
but the the best analytical framework
for us and in future is physics
I’d recommend studying the the thinking
process around physics like not just not
the equations I mean equations certainly
they’re helpful but the the way of
thinking in physics is the that’s the
best framework for understanding things
that are counterintuitive and and you
know always taking the position that you
are some degree wrong and your goal is
to be less wrong over time the one of
the biggest mistakes people generally
make and I’m guilty of it too is wishful
thinking you know like you want
something to be true even if it isn’t
true and so you ignore the things that
you’ve know the real truth because of
what you want to be true this is a very
difficult trap to avoid and like I said
certainly one that I find myself in
having problems with but if you just
take that approach of your oyster some
degree wrong and your goal is to be less
wrong and and solicit critical feedback
particularly from friends
like your friends particularly friends
if somebody loves you they want the best
for you they don’t want to tell you the
bad things so you have to ask them okay
you know it said really I really do want
to know and then they’ll tell you you
can do more you can do more than you
ever imagined I was broke at 25 years
old broke okay
every two years I get one of these cars
the people at rolls-royce like like I
want to send you another one of those
cars okay how you want it how you want
to dress what color you want it that
gets crazy it’s crazy the life I’m
living right now we did a we did a
conference it was ten thousand people in
the room and another ten thousand people
in line
all of them paid to be there I remember
when I couldn’t get two people to show
up at a party in high school because I
was so disliked you can do more than you
think you can
it’s my message to you today you will
live longer than you think I promise you
okay you can do more than you think you
can I’m always looking for new ways to
explain the power of the 5-second role
and the power of 5-second decisions and
I read something that Tim Ferriss said
that really resonated with me and he had
this one line buried in a podcast
somewhere that just jumped out and it’s
it’s it’s stuck it and what he said is
he said something about how there’s a
gap between the world and the things
that trigger you and your response and
your entire life is that gap when you
start to this is not what he said he I
kind of identified this gap and I of
course intrinsically was like well
absolutely that’s the five-second window
between instinct or stimulus and your
reaction and when you start to
understand that your whole life plays
out in this five-second gap and that
there’s a gap that’s five seconds long
between fear and courage and there’s a
gap that’s five seconds long between
self-doubt and confidence that is your
life and what’s super cool about
understanding
that your whole life is inside this gap
is it so small everybody that you have
the ability to control it life’s always
gonna throw triggers at you and there
will always be all kinds of cool things
that inspire you your wisdom and you get
to choose what happens in that gap do
you succumb to an excuse or do you push
yourself forward when you start to speak
up in business you’ll be shocked at how
you start to speak up and your
relationships when you start to make
hard phone calls whether it’s in a
selling situation you’ll be surprised at
how you’ll start to close the gap and
have hard conversations in your personal
life and so that gap is everywhere and
it’s the same everywhere and when you
start to go to work in controlling how
you live in that gap between stimulus or
idea and your response that’s where the
magic is I talked to my dad I talked to
Warren I had talked to my wife Melinda
so I I have enough people that know me
and actually know where my judgment
isn’t its strongest where I might get
overexcited about something or you know
forget to think about something and so
they’re good at correcting particularly
Melinda good at correcting whatever
those blind spots are and I think it’s
good to encourage your friends and
advisers to really give them that
license you know I can go to a party and
forget to say hello to various people or
something that’s a very minor example of
my clients a small number of people that
you can turn to on on certain key things
is a great great asset every gym has a
set way of doing things don’t do it this
way do it that way so that was just a
normal thing that I talked I thought
just people just have their own set way
and you must do it that way you must
stand this way you must kick this way
you must punch this way but with John
when I went to John I met my coach John
cabinet a straight black team it wasn’t
like that he had a more open mind and he
encouraged different movements and I’d
never experienced that before I’ve never
heard a coach say that to me before
and I stuck my head in I thought to
myself
guy is thinking outside the box you know
I mean that he has a vision that
everything works and he encourages every
movement because ultimately there is a
time and a place for every single move
so I just I just near 1 when I met John
and I when he spoke it made complete
sense to me and that was he I stuck with
him and he stuck with me and the rest is
history and because it’s fun you’re
willing to work your face off and
working your face off is actually the
gateway it’s not the fun the fun is the
doorway that gets you to put in the work
that gets you the results because d-roc
loves filming like the 24/7 nature of
what he does is you know is why so many
kids want to film and do this but they
don’t want to it’s not fun enough for
them you have to love it the cost of
entry now is you see understand you have
to love like for me building brands
whether it’s my own brand brands for
other people other things the why it’s
so the only thing I give a about
that I’m willing to put in the 19 that
it takes because the problem is now with
the internet like we were just saying
being the middleman
and everybody can play there is some kid
now what’s amazing is though the biggest
thing I didn’t know is that’s some fun
but there’s so much that all those
little that are gonna put in the 19 are
gonna get theirs too and that makes me
happy yeah so I would say funs a great
gateway to fun is the precursor to
ridiculous amount of work which then
gets you there yeah right when I was a
young man I had a revelation that
changed my life I had read articles and
sometimes books on time management over
the years and made some lists and set
some priorities and things like that and
I always felt however that my life was
the Sun and that all the different
factors of my life were like planets
that orbited around my life and whether
there was physical fitness or
socializing or work or time management
they were all planets in orbit what
changed my life was when I realized that
time management is the Sun and
everything that I do is the planets in
or
everything we do in life revolves around
time because time is life is time is the
substance of our life is that the
quality of your life is determined by
the quality of your time management that
everything we have or our or ever will
be will be a direct result of how we use
our time and the wonderful thing is
we’re always free to use choose how we
use our time we bought into this this
complete falsehood that at some point
you’re gonna have the courage at some
point you’re gonna have the confidence
and it’s total bull frankly I don’t
really like to swear a table so it’s
it’s complete garbage
and so there are so many people in the
world and and and you know you may be
watching this right now and you have
these incredible ideas and what you
think is missing is motivation and
that’s not true because the way that our
minds are wired and the fact about human
beings is that we are not designed to do
things that are uncomfortable or scary
or difficult our brains are designed to
protect us from those things because our
brains are trying to keep us alive and
in order to change in order to build a
business in order to be the best parent
of a spouse to do all those things that
you know you want to do with your life
with your work with your dreams you’re
gonna have to do things that are
difficult uncertain or scary which sets
up this problem for all of us you’re
never gonna feel like it motivations
garbage you you only feel motivated to
do the things that are easy right
what do you think that is oh I know
exactly why that is because I I’ve
studied this so much because for me one
of the hardest things to figure out was
why is it so hard to do the little
things that would improve my life and
what I’ve come to realize and what we’ll
talk a lot about today is that the way
that our minds are designed is our minds
are designed to stop you at all costs
from doing anything that might hurt you
and the way that that that that this all
happens is it all starts with something
super subtle that none of us ever catch
and that is with this habit that all of
us have that nobody’s talking about we
all have a habit of hesitating hmm
we have an idea you’re sitting in a
meeting you have this incredible idea
and instead of just you know saying it
you stop and you hesitate now what none
of us realize is that when you hesitate
just that moment that micro moment that
small hesitation it sends a stress
signal to your brain it wakes your brain
up and your brain all of a sudden goes
oh wait a minute wait why is he
hesitating he didn’t hesitate when he
put on his killer spiky sneakers he
didn’t hesitate with the really cool
track pants he didn’t hesitate with the
NASA t-shirt now he’s hesitating to talk
something must be up
so then your brain goes to work to
protect you it has a million different
ways to protect you one of them is
called the spotlight effect it’s a known
phenomenon where your brain magnifies
risk Y to pull you away from something
that it perceives to be a problem and so
you can truly trace every single problem
or complaint in your life to silence and
hesitation those are decisions and what
I do and what’s changed my life is
waking up and realizing that motivations
garbage I’m never gonna feel like doing
the things that are tough for difficult
or uncertain or scary or new so I need
to stop waiting until I feel like it and
number two I am one decision away from a
totally different marriage a totally
different life a totally different job a
totally different income a totally
different relationship with my kids
not like one decision I’m divorcing you
in in the marriage example but one
decision on you know you could be having
a conversation with your spouse and you
feel your emotions rise up and within a
tiny window those emotions can take over
and can impact how your marriage goes or
you can learn how to take control of
that micro moment and make a decision to
act in a way that actually shifts your
marriage
your life comes down to your decisions
and if you change your decisions you will change everything
the next generations influencers you get
to work your butt off if you think that
you’re gonna go and accomplish something
really special and be the best in
anything in the world and you think you
can do it without working you make a big
mistake
because no matter what I did if it was a
bodybuilding or an acting or if it is in
the political arena it always took a lot
a lot of work and you gotta put out and
you got the you know something to make a
lot of sacrifices notice if you’re not
willing to work hard forget about it so
there’s another rule that is very
important you gotta have a plan
everybody’s got a dream
everybody’s got a goal what’s the plan
and your plan has got to have something
I call the c5 complex your plan has got
to be clear concise compelling
consistent and committed you’ve got to
have a plan and when you’re trying to do
something that you are truly passionate
about there is no plan B okay Plan B
okay so it’s as simple as that you gotta
have a plan I mean think about that for
a second mm three examples Michael
Jordan won six NBA championships with
the Chicago Bulls because he was
committed to playing a not plan B Oprah
Winfrey became the queen of all media
because she was committed to plan a not
Plan B whatever your politics are Barack
Obama is sitting in the White House
because he was committed to plan a not
Plan B okay Plan B sucks
most people have good great goals I want
to increase my income and lose weight
and get out of debt and be thin and
happy and healthy and have a wonderful
family but then then they decide but
before I start I’m going to take a
vacation to a beautiful place called
someday Isle and in my estimation 80% of
the population lives on some day I’ll
some day I’ll lose some weight and some
day I’ll read that book and listen to
that program and join the nest the YES
Network and there’s some day I’ll get
out of death some day I’ll increase my
income but it’s always some day I’ll if
you want to be a great success there’s
one simple rule is vote yourself off the
island for life if you decide you’re
going to do something do it you know
what they’ve done dozens and dozens of
studies over the years they find that
there’s one major difference between
successful people and unsuccessful
people as successful people launch they
start they get on with it they just do
it unsuccessful people get the same
ideas in the same information but
they’ve always got an excuse for not
starting so I get up super early
generally I have this thing where I like
beating the Sun up not just in terms of
what Sun comes and I have to get up and
how do I do it it’s just important to
find balance and I try and do things
really that I really enjoy doing and a
lot of times you know it’s like in life
right life brings like drama and you got
to deal with this person I think you
hear all these things you try and just
kind of balance them out as best I can
take care about everything and it starts
with yourself look yourself in the
mirror and ask yourself what do I want
to do every day for the rest of my life
do that I promise you can monetize that
if you love out
do an elf blog you collect Smurfs Smurfs
it up whatever you need to do do it so
many people are talking about I can’t
monetize I can’t monetize there’s a
billion seven-year-old douchebags that
are in control right now
but the number two person that 34 year
old lady she’s gonna buy your she’s
gonna put the advertising on your stuff
it’s coming stop crying and just keep
hustling tell the truth or at least
don’t lie yeah well it’s not that easy
to tell the truth because who knows
about the truth but you can learn not to
say things that you know to be false and
if you stop saying things that you know
to be false then your life will improve
a lot simplifies it and it puts you in
the lineman with reality and you should
be in alignment with reality because
there’s a lot more of it than there is a
view well most successful entrepreneurs
have gone bust you know Henry Ford an
old-time entrepreneur he went bust five
times
look at Steve Jobs his own board fired
him yeah you know Bill Gates was taken
before the Supreme Court for
monopolistic practices right even my
friend Donald Trump went down a billion
dollars yeah I only went down a million
so the average person is so afraid of
those losses they never get ahead
because at school they teach you if you
make a mistake or if you fail you’re a
failure that’s not real life
a baby alarms to walk by standing up and
falling down standing up and falling
down and our school system punishes you
for making mistakes that’s why my poor
dad an academic was so unsuccessful he
was terrified of making mistakes one of
the big challenges for everybody having
a unique idea and then taking it through
to fruition
there’s always hard right it’s never
easy there’s always people are going to
question you and being able to take that
first step and fight through all the
naysayers you know it it it’s a process
but once you start to get traction
whether it’s uber whoever maybe you know
and you’re taking steps that nobody else
has that’s when you really have to fight
and you know now particularly where we
don’t have an administration that’s
particularly tech literate I think
there’s going to be new challenges and
so the companies that are emerging today
maybe some of them are here at South by
Southwest you know maybe it’s gonna be a
little bit more difficult but still
there’s there’s no less need and it’s no
less important you know it’s as the
world changes and I think it’s going to
change more over the next 10 years
technologically than has the past 30
we’re going to need people to disrupt
and make our make the world better I
know that everybody’s problem comes down
to one pattern you’re repeating that you
can’t see and that pattern is getting
triggered by something that happened in
your past that left you with this
emotional scar and so for me the thing
that I always always always have to deal
with and myself is the fear of
disappointing somebody so if I’m in a
situation where I start to feel that
it’s an old trigger and so when you
finally have a word
describes in a visceral way this thing
you hate about yourself or this thing
that triggers you or whatever it may be
that’s where the power comes because now
you can name the thing that was once
controlling you and so if you can
identify first of all the pattern you
keep repeating that makes you miserable
or doesn’t serve you or makes you lose
your power or has you go numb then you
can start to go back and say well where
did I where did I first start doing this
and what was the experience that
triggered it because that’s the root of
the problem right there and when you
expose all of that the trigger and the
emotional button like my I’m afraid of
disappointing people I’m afraid of
disappointing people I’m not worthy I’m
not worthy
you know I’m pissed off that I that this
is happening to me now you have the
ability to change it forever discipline
I had to get into was all I was paying
myself first even when I had no money
and when I have all these bill
collectors calling me I use them as
inspiration oh wonder how the
government’s hounding you bill
collectors call that because I’ve been
broke okay you understand what it feels
like to me bro when those guys are
calling you instead of you know
shrinking and going into the shell and
eating my pizza I use it as motivation
to go out and make more money so I use
it I used my bill collectors as
motivation and that’s why I paid myself
first even though sometimes I would you
pay yourself I was blunt assets I buy a
house or I’d put money in the bank and
things like this but it was just a habit
exact what you’re talking about
it’s up here it’s about changing the way
you think the whole book is about that’s
because we’re our biggest asset we’re
also a biggest liability passion is not
an actionable word it’s correct you know
that those who do the things that
they’re passionate about do better but
it’s not helpful advice and so the
question is where does passion come from
passion is a result passion is an energy
passion is the feeling you have when
you’re engaged in something that you
love passion is the feeling you have
that you would probably do this for free
you know and you can’t believe somebody
pays you to do it you know and I think
we mistake that passion is something we
do in our private lives but it shouldn’t
be done you know in our careers for
example and I’m a firm believer that you
are who you are
and anybody who says I’m different at
home than I am at work and one of those
two places you’re lying and the goal is
to make everything you do in home and it
works something that you have excitement
to do so how do you find the things that
you’re excited to do well it’s actually
easier than you think what are the
things that you love to do what are the
things that you would do for free you
know how can you recreate that feeling
and and be pay for it so what are the
things that I do on the weekend right I
love I’m very involved in the art world
I love to go to museums and galleries
but I love to go see dance and
performances because I want to see how
others are interpreting the world so
that inspires me new ideas new thoughts
new ways of looking at the world are
things that interest me privately and I
seek it out and pay money for it right
so does that mean I have to have a
career in the arts no it means I have to
have a career where new ideas are
explored where people are experimenting
and trying things out and I have to
explore new ideas and try things out and
I’m just as excited to go to work
everyday as I am just you know go do
something on a Saturday night and so the
idea of finding your passion is
ironically simple because you should be
doing stuff that you enjoy sometimes
what is the stuff that you enjoy and
then what is the stuff that you love who
are the people that you love and what
are that’s where they all have in common
you got to get some haters you need
haters no school is gonna teach you how
to get a hater okay high school
elementary school colleges what do they
teach you want to be the most popular
person no you want haters okay the
companies that are hated are the
companies that are exploding the people
that are hated are the people that
explode if I don’t hate you if nobody
hates you nobody knows you so the reason
I’ll tweet for instance when we started
we had this that newsletter that I sent
out okay we sent it out every week we
were hitting people
once a month and we started getting
complaints you send stuff out too much
my office came to me we went to twice a
month
they came to me we have more people
pulling off of the newsletter good
double up again why I want haters okay
so we start sending out one every week
and then I started a Twitter account I
actually had people write grant cardone
social media people grant cardone is an
example of what not to do with social
media
I said freaking just multiply just
increase it okay we were doing like four
tweets a day good due to an hour why
because I want my competition hating my
guts someone I’m talking about me I mean
I don’t really want hate people to hate
me you understand what I’m saying about
I want them so so energized that they
actually start pushing me they start
promoting me many people have this idea
I want to achieve something great or be
somebody great and they neglect the step
that leads to greatness they don’t honor
this step in this moment because they
have this idea of some future moment
where they are going to be great right
some people believe I’m doing great work
I mean I am because the consciousness is
moving through this form I don’t feel
personally responsible for what I do
it’s not but even there it is small
steps when the writing happens is a
notepad and a pen unless the present
moment and there’s a stillness very
small is not some idea I’m going to
create a work that’s going to change
everybody’s consciousness no I’m just
true to this moment what is this moment
requires it’s a blank piece of sheet of
paper and a pen and the stillness it’s a
small thing it’s all a sequence of very
small moments and fine being true to
this small moment something great arises
think big because then you’re gonna get
big then you’re gonna go and achieve big
things that is the most important thing
you know we don’t achieve big things by
accident so shoot for the top shoot for
the skies further you know
for the stars I love being a drummer
it’s such a nice position in a band
everyone thinks you’re dumb what they
don’t realize is that if it weren’t for
you their band would suck you know I’ve
always loved being the drummer I don’t
necessarily need to be the dude out
front I don’t I never imagined myself a
frontman at the same time I don’t mind
bringing the party the 85,000 people lip
at the stage being you know being the
frontman of the band it’s nice to have
both you know there’s that balance
between the two if you ever start
feeling like nobody’s paying attention
to me well then you go you be the singer
of the Foo Fighters for a while and when
you’re like goddamn I’m sick all this
Bush to being the drummer and the
vultures or whatever too many of us for
a long time they’ve confused our network
and ourself what your network is going
to fluctuate it’s going to go up and
down that’s what money does but your
self-worth should not who you are what’s
important to you how you live your
values should never be negotiable
compromised
and should never settle again we have
gotten to this point what we’ve got to
say to ourselves my net worth is not my
self-worth I think it’s really to be
true to yourself and listen as much as
one is able to other people whose
opinions you respect and look up to but
in the end it has to come from from you
and you you can’t really worry too much
by looking to the left or the right
about what the competition might be
doing or other people in your field
might be doing it has to be a true
vision from getting what you want life
is the boat story you tell yourself of
why you can’t have it get that what
stops there’s no way you can go what
imagine like the success in sales in
life it’s like a road map right you know
where you want to go and you have this
perfect strategy the straight line to
get there it’s a perfect strategy it’s
gonna get you there every single time
but if you don’t know your starting
point if you’re not getting Ozlem where
you actually are it doesn’t matter how
powerful the strategy is and it doesn’t
matter how powerful your goals I’m gonna
actually set a goal today write a 60 day
goal and let’s say you really set this
goal and I’ll show you how to do it in a
brilliant way so it’s visceral so it
makes you really feel it you see it you
sense if you smell a goal that’s step
one I’m gonna teach you this straight
line which is your strategy to get to
your goal but if you’re not honest with
where you are right now your starting
point the map is worthless there’s three
things that you need to know where you
are where you want to go and how you’re
gonna get there those are the three
things you must have to take advantage
of any opportunity I’m gonna give you
the strategy I’m gonna actually tell me
exactly where you want to go for
yourself
you gotta get honest don’t blame the
boss don’t blame the leaves don’t blame
your job double in the industry you’re
in just get out of it you don’t like
your industry find another one my life
changed a couple years ago and I
discovered something called the progress
principle it is a principle that was
written about in the Harvard Business
Review it’s based on a tremendous amount
of research done by a professor over
there and what she determined is that
people that feel happy and successful
and fulfilled by their lives and work
they all have one thing in common they
feel as though they’re making progress
on something that matters so I read this
little bit of research and I started
applying it to my life and what I do as
stupid as it sounds it really works I
don’t focus on balancing everything I
focus on just making sure that I make
progress on one thing a day that’s right
you heard me one thing a day that
matters to me now if I can make progress
on one thing a day that matters to me
then I can let go and let the rest of my
day get hijacked by kids by spouse by
phone calls by emails by social media by
all kinds of things that come up and
tend to hijack your day when you’re a
busy person when you have a family when
you’re married when you got a lot going
on and so by focusing on one thing a day
I feel the sense of control in the sense
of progress that science tells us will
make you happy and make you feel more
confident and actually make you more
effective at getting things done it also
frees me up to be more present with my
kids just having a debate with a friend
of mine and we got stuck when the
difference between fault
and responsibility she kept talked about
how something was somebody’s fault
somebody’s fault and I was like it
really don’t matter whose fault it is
that something is broken if it’s your
responsibility to fix it for example is
it’s not somebody’s fault if their
father was an abusive alcoholic but it’s
for damn sure their responsibility to
figure out how they’re gonna do with
those traumas and try to make a life out
of it it’s not your fault if your
partner
cheated and ruined your marriage but it
is for damn sure your responsibility to
figure out how to take that pain and how
to overcome that and build a happy life
for yourself fault and responsibility do
not go together it sucks but they don’t
when something is somebody’s fault we
want them to suffer we want them
punished we want them to pay and we want
it to be their responsibility to fix it
but that’s that’s not how it works
especially when it’s your heart your
heart your life your happiness is your
responsibility and your responsibility
alone as long as we’re pointing the
finger and and stuck in whose fault
something is we’re jamming and trapped
into victim mode when you’re in victim
mode you’re stuck in suffering the road
to power is in taking responsibility
your heart your life your happiness is
your responsibility and your
responsibility alone if you’re hungry
and you eat well that’s good but it’s
over and then you’re on to the next
thing right it’s not exactly sustaining
it’s just necessary that’s called
consumed Ettore reward by the way this
other reward system is incentive reward
and the incentive reward system works on
dopamine this neurochemical dopamine
which is also the neurochemical tracks
that opiates and cocaine and
amphetamines the drugs that people
really like to abuse alcohol often for
some people activate and so you might
say if you don’t have enough meaning in
your life then you’re more prone to
addiction and that’s definitely the case
even with rats if you take a rat you put
him in a cage by himself and he has
nothing to do and then you give him
access to cocaine he’ll get addicted to
the point where he won’t do anything but
take cocaine but if you throw the rat
back in with a bunch of other rats and
he gets to do rat things then it’s very
hard to get him addicted to cocaine and
so the purposeless rat is prone to
addiction well it’s the same with human
beings now here’s a corollary to that
which is really cool so the magnitude of
the reward you experience as you’re
moving towards a goal is proportionate
to the importance of the goal so that
means the more important
goal you pick the more possibility there
is for the kind of reward let’s say it’s
really a state of being that is
life-affirming
and it is directly life-affirming in
that you know like if you’re in a
football game and you’re and it’s an
important football game and maybe you
break a finger and you know normally
that’s that’s a problem it hurts and
you’re gonna stop doing whatever you’re
doing but if you’re right in the middle
of the game then you’ll be so amped up
on this reward system that its analgesic
it stops the pain it also suppresses
anxiety so if you have a purpose then
its analgesic it takes some of the pain
out of life it’s very positive in that
it motivates and energizes you and
focuses you and makes you able to
remember and pay attention and it quells
fear and so those things are all direct
and so then you might think well what’s
the best possible goal well and that’s
that’s the purpose I would say of
religious training and philosophical
training it’s like just what the hell
are you doing in the world you know
you’re always affected by opinion but
the more opinions there are of you the
more I the less I look at them because I
just can’t live my life based upon what
other people think about me so I can’t
concern myself too much with what other
people think you know it’s just not
healthy I don’t think I can I could
continue to do what I do if I was
constantly worrying about what somebody
thought about it one habit that I
developed when I when I was at college
it was actually very bad habit which was
I like to show people that I didn’t do
any work and that I didn’t go to classes
and I didn’t care and then at the very
last minute like two days before the
test I get serious about it and and
people people thought that was funny you
know that was my positioning the guy who
did nothing until the last minute then
when I went into business that was a
really bad habit and it took me a couple
years to get over that nobody praised me
because I would do things at the last
minute and I tried to reverse to
students I’d actually I didn’t think
that highly of who were always organized
and had things done on time
still working on it but procrastination
is not a good good habit bill can change
clothes in the car you stare at your
past and you’ll end up staying there
it’s okay to look back and admire it
but you carry on I’m not I’m not in the
business of staring staring back at it
you know I mean I’m getting lost back
there it’s people say you can people say
a loss can make a break a fight that but
trust me a win can also make a break a
fire because they get comfortable with
it with a win people can get comfortable
with it with a win and and and slack off
then slack off on the train and slack
off on the diet they’ve won more they’re
winners now that’s not me you know you
sleep on a you sleep on a win and you’ll
wake up with a loss so I just carry on
keep doing what I’m doing and that’s why
these turnaround is so good for me
Vegas straight away the Fighting Irish
head to the fighting capital it’s it’s
perfect continue on this path the
freight train straight to the top I
talked to so many smart fantastic
ambitious idealistic hard-working kids
and they’re right out of college they’re
in their entry-level jobs and I’ll ask
them how is it going and they’ll say I
think I’m gonna quit and I’m like why
they say to me I’m not making an impact
I’m like you know you’ve been here eight
months right they treat the sense of
fulfillment or even love like it’s a
scavenger hunt like it’s something you
look for my millennial friends they’ve
gone through so many jobs they’re either
getting fired I mean it was mutual or
they’re quitting because they’re not
making an impact or they’re not finding
the thing they’re looking for they’re
not feeling fulfilled as if it’s a
scavenger hunt
love a job you find joy from is not
something you discover it’s not like I
found love here it is I found a job I
love that’s not how it works both of
those things require hard work you are
in love because you work very hard every
single day of your life to stay in love
you find a
job that brings you ultimate joy because
you work hard every single day to serve
those around you and you maintain that
joy it’s not a discovery but the problem
is the sense of impatience it’s as if an
entire generation is standing at the
foot of a mountain they know exactly
what they want they can see the summit
what they can’t see is the mountain this
large amove Abul object that doesn’t
mean you have to do your time that’s not
what I’m talking about take a helicopter
climb I don’t care but there’s still a
mountain life career fulfillment
relationships our journeys the problem
is this entire generation has an
institutionalized sense of impatience
and do they have the patience to go on
the journey to maintain love to feel
fulfilled or do they just quit and on to
the next dump and on to the next ghost
and on to the next the nature of
capitalism is that people want to come
in and take your capsules perfectly
understandable I mean if I’m solving
television sucks or something there’s
gonna be ten other people are gonna try
and sell a better television set if I
have a restaurant here in Omaha people
are gonna try and copy my menu and get
more parking and take my chef and so on
so capitalism is all about somebody
coming and trying to take the castle now
what you need is you need a castle that
has some durable competitive advantage
some castle that has a moat around it
and that moat that’s one of the best
moats in many respects is to be a
low-cost producer but sometimes the
motors just having more talent I mean if
you’re the heavyweight champion of the
world and keep knocking out people
you’ve got a competitive advantage as
long as you can keep doing it and it’s
very profitable if you’re the one that
happens to be able to do it if you can
turn out great motion pictures I mean
you know Steven Spielberg I mean he he
he’s a fella but on and and it has
enormous economic value make a list of
ten things ten goals that you’d like to
accomplish in the next year or so and
ask this question if I could only
accomplish one goal on this list which
one goal would have the greatest
positive impact on my life if you could
only accomplish one goal in life which
one goal would have the greatest
positive impact
your life now for most people especially
when you’re maturing in your career when
you’re growing up the biggest goal is
money if you had money then you could
buy a house home car family lifestyle
and so on so that’s quite normal for
other people it may be a health goal for
business owners may be a business goal
for people with relationship problems
may be a relationship goal but ask
yourself if you could achieve one goal
or resolve one problem and remember a
problem unsolved is merely a goal
unachieved which one would it be and
write that down and make that that the
major a definite purpose of your life
make it the central organizing principle
of your life you can’t give away what
you don’t have now it sounds ridiculous
okay but it’s more than what meets the
ear as you hear this you can’t give away
what you don’t have people who are not
good at giving away love can’t give away
love because they don’t have it to give
away if I want to give you a dozen
oranges I can’t give you those dozen
oranges unless I go out and pick up
twelve oranges someplace
otherwise all it is is just empty
rhetoric and the same thing is true of
virtually everything in your life you
can’t give away love for others if you
don’t have love in here to give away if
what you have in here is contempt if
what you have in here is anger if you
haven’t here is fear then these are the
things you’re going to be giving away in
your life talking about past and future
and excessive emphasis on past and
future in your life yes of course you
need to have it there’s nothing wrong
with having a certain intention of what
you want to achieve take steps to Ward’s
it it’s a it’s part of living here in
this dimension you can’t just say I’m
never going to plan anything anymore
just take life as it comes
well some people try to do that but
they’re not that happy either after a
while so then your life will get very
diffused and so to have an intention to
have to make a plan perfectly fine what
you either short term plan like I got to
meet you tomorrow at 4 o’clock how would
you ever meet anybody if we didn’t have
time and and future and a practical
level of course it’s needed the question
is whether future takes over your mind
being able to use it for practical
purposes it will cause great but I call
it clock time is fine but psychological
time is when the future takes over your
mind and your entire sort patterns are
geared only towards future and you treat
the present moment as either just a
means to an end because enables you to
get to the next one you’re always
reaching out so to speak internally to
the next yet never quite here always
looking for some fulfillment there so
you can never embrace the fullness of
now all you make them now into even an
enemy some people are always unhappy
with you perhaps we all know some one or
two people like that 3 we all who are
wherever they are they’re they
complaining is never quite right
wherever they are or whoever they are
ways after a little while they’re very
uncomfortable again there should be
somewhere else you know the bumper
sticker that you see in some cars in
Gila various versions of it says I’d
rather be golfing and then another one
says I’d rather be fishing I’d rather be
this I’d rather be there when I visited
the the spiritual teacher Ram Das who
lives in Hawaii he has a bumper sticker
on about Ram Dass was the person who in
the 70s wrote the book be here now that
anyway he has a bumper sticker on his
car that says I’d rather be here now so
and and then you realize you can
actually you can still pursue whatever
an intense where you want to get to a
plan I called it it’s a bit like a
journey your life is a journey you’re
going you know you want to go from here
to there whether you’re going to get
there we don’t know maybe on the way
you’ll branch out to somewhere else but
at least you have a certain direction
it’s good to have some direction in your
life but while you are traveling if the
that your destination takes up most of
your attention and you’re continuously
focusing on there you miss all the
journey really you can’t enjoy the
journey anymore and most of your life is
the journey the arriving is relatively
and a few more graduation but so those
moments are not that fine feel between
so the rest is the journey and if you
can’t enjoy the journey which means the
step you’re taking at this moment it’s
really the most important thing yes of
course you know you’re going that way
but this step is still to be enjoyed
because that’s ultimately your whole
life consists of the step you are taking
at this moment there is never anything
else complete the day and leave no tasks
that I have to finish in the morning
it’s that that’s it and so it’s not
necessarily that I have a specific word
but there are particular things that I
do number one totally set up the kids so
that means pack their lunches it means
get the backpacks ready it’s school
season and get them by the door it means
if there’s any forms that need to be
filled out or printed or anything else
that they are printed then you’re ready
to go so kids are handled second thing I
love the kitchen clean I don’t ever want
to wake up in the morning and walk in
there and see crap that I have to do
I don’t want dishes in the sink I don’t
want things on the counter and so I make
sure that the kitchen is clean that the
counters are cleared off and that there
is no nothing that you need to do in the
kitchen because it will distract me in
the morning I would feel guilt
I don’t feel obligated to get that done
third thing that I do is I try to set
out the stuff for breakfast and the
reason why I do that is because my kids
will wake up at various times and so if
I’ve got that thing set up I’ve just
bought myself a couple more minutes of
quiet in the morning before the parade
of children come running down the stairs
starving and wanting breakfast the other
thing that I do is I go to my computer
and I print out the day calendar for the
day ahead and then I take that printout
and I take my notebook that has all of
my travel
kind of everything that’s laid out for
the business that I run my speaking
schedule and stuff relating to the kids
and I move it all to the kitchen now my
mailings I’m doing this so that when I
leave my bedroom in the morning and I
walk into the kitchen and to have thirty
minutes of quiet time for myself to get
focused and plan my priorities
everything set it’s all been handled
there’s no thinking involved it’s
amazing then once that’s all handled I
turn off all the lights I lock the front
door
when I walk into my bedroom the very
first thing that I do
I accept my alarm and then I plug my
phone in in my closet if you want to
make progress and things I think that
but the the best analytical framework
for us and in future is physics
I’d recommend studying the the thinking
process around physics like not just not
the equations I mean equations certainly
they’re helpful but the the way of
thinking in physics is the that’s the
best framework for understanding things
that are counterintuitive and and you
know always taking the position that you
are some degree wrong and your goal is
to be less wrong over time the one of
the biggest mistakes people generally
make and I’m guilty of it too is wishful
thinking you know like you want
something to be true even if it isn’t
true and so you ignore the things that
you’ve know the real truth because of
what you want to be true this is a very
difficult trap to avoid and like I said
certainly one that I find myself in
having problems with but if you just
take that approach of your oyster some
degree wrong and your goal is to be less
wrong and and solicit critical feedback
particularly from friends
like your friends particularly friends
if somebody loves you they want the best
for you they don’t want to tell you the
bad things so you have to ask them okay
you know it said really I really do want
to know and then they’ll tell you you
can do more you can do more than you
ever imagined I was broke at 25 years
old broke okay
every two years I get one of these cars
the people at rolls-royce like like I
want to send you another one of those
cars okay how you want it how you want
to dress what color you want it that
gets crazy it’s crazy the life I’m
living right now we did a we did a
conference it was ten thousand people in
the room and another ten thousand people
in line
all of them paid to be there I remember
when I couldn’t get two people to show
up at a party in high school because I
was so disliked you can do more than you
think you can
it’s my message to you today you will
live longer than you think I promise you
okay you can do more than you think you
can I’m always looking for new ways to
explain the power of the 5-second role
and the power of 5-second decisions and
I read something that Tim Ferriss said
that really resonated with me and he had
this one line buried in a podcast
somewhere that just jumped out and it’s
it’s it’s stuck it and what he said is
he said something about how there’s a
gap between the world and the things
that trigger you and your response and
your entire life is that gap when you
start to this is not what he said he I
kind of identified this gap and I of
course intrinsically was like well
absolutely that’s the five-second window
between instinct or stimulus and your
reaction and when you start to
understand that your whole life plays
out in this five-second gap and that
there’s a gap that’s five seconds long
between fear and courage and there’s a
gap that’s five seconds long between
self-doubt and confidence that is your
life and what’s super cool about
understanding
that your whole life is inside this gap
is it so small everybody that you have
the ability to control it life’s always
gonna throw triggers at you and there
will always be all kinds of cool things
that inspire you your wisdom and you get
to choose what happens in that gap do
you succumb to an excuse or do you push
yourself forward when you start to speak
up in business you’ll be shocked at how
you start to speak up and your
relationships when you start to make
hard phone calls whether it’s in a
selling situation you’ll be surprised at
how you’ll start to close the gap and
have hard conversations in your personal
life and so that gap is everywhere and
it’s the same everywhere and when you
start to go to work in controlling how
you live in that gap between stimulus or
idea and your response that’s where the
magic is I talked to my dad I talked to
Warren I had talked to my wife Melinda
so I I have enough people that know me
and actually know where my judgment
isn’t its strongest where I might get
overexcited about something or you know
forget to think about something and so
they’re good at correcting particularly
Melinda good at correcting whatever
those blind spots are and I think it’s
good to encourage your friends and
advisers to really give them that
license you know I can go to a party and
forget to say hello to various people or
something that’s a very minor example of
my clients a small number of people that
you can turn to on on certain key things
is a great great asset every gym has a
set way of doing things don’t do it this
way do it that way so that was just a
normal thing that I talked I thought
just people just have their own set way
and you must do it that way you must
stand this way you must kick this way
you must punch this way but with John
when I went to John I met my coach John
cabinet a straight black team it wasn’t
like that he had a more open mind and he
encouraged different movements and I’d
never experienced that before I’ve never
heard a coach say that to me before
and I stuck my head in I thought to
myself
guy is thinking outside the box you know
I mean that he has a vision that
everything works and he encourages every
movement because ultimately there is a
time and a place for every single move
so I just I just near 1 when I met John
and I when he spoke it made complete
sense to me and that was he I stuck with
him and he stuck with me and the rest is
history and because it’s fun you’re
willing to work your face off and
working your face off is actually the
gateway it’s not the fun the fun is the
doorway that gets you to put in the work
that gets you the results because d-roc
loves filming like the 24/7 nature of
what he does is you know is why so many
kids want to film and do this but they
don’t want to it’s not fun enough for
them you have to love it the cost of
entry now is you see understand you have
to love like for me building brands
whether it’s my own brand brands for
other people other things the why it’s
so the only thing I give a about
that I’m willing to put in the 19 that
it takes because the problem is now with
the internet like we were just saying
being the middleman
and everybody can play there is some kid
now what’s amazing is though the biggest
thing I didn’t know is that’s some fun
but there’s so much that all those
little that are gonna put in the 19 are
gonna get theirs too and that makes me
happy yeah so I would say funs a great
gateway to fun is the precursor to
ridiculous amount of work which then
gets you there yeah right when I was a
young man I had a revelation that
changed my life I had read articles and
sometimes books on time management over
the years and made some lists and set
some priorities and things like that and
I always felt however that my life was
the Sun and that all the different
factors of my life were like planets
that orbited around my life and whether
there was physical fitness or
socializing or work or time management
they were all planets in orbit what
changed my life was when I realized that
time management is the Sun and
everything that I do is the planets in
or
everything we do in life revolves around
time because time is life is time is the
substance of our life is that the
quality of your life is determined by
the quality of your time management that
everything we have or our or ever will
be will be a direct result of how we use
our time and the wonderful thing is
we’re always free to use choose how we
use our time we bought into this this
complete falsehood that at some point
you’re gonna have the courage at some
point you’re gonna have the confidence
and it’s total bull frankly I don’t
really like to swear a table so it’s
it’s complete garbage
and so there are so many people in the
world and and and you know you may be
watching this right now and you have
these incredible ideas and what you
think is missing is motivation and
that’s not true because the way that our
minds are wired and the fact about human
beings is that we are not designed to do
things that are uncomfortable or scary
or difficult our brains are designed to
protect us from those things because our
brains are trying to keep us alive and
in order to change in order to build a
business in order to be the best parent
of a spouse to do all those things that
you know you want to do with your life
with your work with your dreams you’re
gonna have to do things that are
difficult uncertain or scary which sets
up this problem for all of us you’re
never gonna feel like it motivations
garbage you you only feel motivated to
do the things that are easy right
what do you think that is oh I know
exactly why that is because I I’ve
studied this so much because for me one
of the hardest things to figure out was
why is it so hard to do the little
things that would improve my life and
what I’ve come to realize and what we’ll
talk a lot about today is that the way
that our minds are designed is our minds
are designed to stop you at all costs
from doing anything that might hurt you
and the way that that that that this all
happens is it all starts with something
super subtle that none of us ever catch
and that is with this habit that all of
us have that nobody’s talking about we
all have a habit of hesitating hmm
we have an idea you’re sitting in a
meeting you have this incredible idea
and instead of just you know saying it
you stop and you hesitate now what none
of us realize is that when you hesitate
just that moment that micro moment that
small hesitation it sends a stress
signal to your brain it wakes your brain
up and your brain all of a sudden goes
oh wait a minute wait why is he
hesitating he didn’t hesitate when he
put on his killer spiky sneakers he
didn’t hesitate with the really cool
track pants he didn’t hesitate with the
NASA t-shirt now he’s hesitating to talk
something must be up
so then your brain goes to work to
protect you it has a million different
ways to protect you one of them is
called the spotlight effect it’s a known
phenomenon where your brain magnifies
risk Y to pull you away from something
that it perceives to be a problem and so
you can truly trace every single problem
or complaint in your life to silence and
hesitation those are decisions and what
I do and what’s changed my life is
waking up and realizing that motivations
garbage I’m never gonna feel like doing
the things that are tough for difficult
or uncertain or scary or new so I need
to stop waiting until I feel like it and
number two I am one decision away from a
totally different marriage a totally
different life a totally different job a
totally different income a totally
different relationship with my kids
not like one decision I’m divorcing you
in in the marriage example but one
decision on you know you could be having
a conversation with your spouse and you
feel your emotions rise up and within a
tiny window those emotions can take over
and can impact how your marriage goes or
you can learn how to take control of
that micro moment and make a decision to
act in a way that actually shifts your
marriage
your life comes down to your decisions
and if you change your decisions you will change everything
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