good morning believe nation today we’re
going to talk about how you can deal
with loneliness and also as you watching
if you hear something that really
resonates with you please leave it in
the comments below and put it in quotes
so other people can be inspired as well
and when you write something down
yourself it’s much more likely to stick
for you as well enjoy
[Music]
what happens when you’re lonely you know
when you have this true feeling of
aloneness despite being all connected as
we are these days where there’s social
media everywhere we can follow all your
friends or all your family or all the
strangers of celebrities of the world
where you can keep connected to
everything but you’re not feeling
connected where you feel truly apart
from the world or apart from others or
you’re in a place where you’re just
feels so separate or you feel depressed
and truly alone you feel and sense of
loneliness in your life it’s a big topic
today because I think a lot of people
feel more of it than they’ve probably
ever felt before partially because so
much of what they’re seeing and
connecting with online isn’t real or
it’s trumped up as the best perfect
rendition of someone’s life and you’re
feeling like well my life isn’t that
good or you see all these shows on
television where there’s you know
there’s these friends and they have all
these other friends and there’s always
that adventure and amazingness and you
think wow the whole world is full of
extroverts who have 50 different friends
and are dating twelve different people
every single you know month that’s just
not real and so we have these unreal
expectations about our social world as
well and and sometimes it can make us
feel even more alone so what do you do
[Music]
a lot of people say I don’t fit in well
if you don’t fit into this world
maybe it’s because you’ll hear to create
a new one I didn’t know that though so
even when I was studying I was like
reading other books about the third eye
and stuff and I felt really alone
because everybody was just so left
brained and I’m talking about different
galaxies and stuff okay now this is what
I found out being a professional alone
person the first secret is that it’s
okay to be alone oh my gosh thank
goodness for that
say it again Ralph it’s okay to be alone
I get over a thousand messages every
single day and a lot of people write to
me saying Ralph I just can’t seem to
find anybody I can get on with so I’m
alone and I don’t like you it’s okay to
be alone the reason why a lot of people
experience a lot of loneliness is
because they are in resistance to being
alone and that was me actually I got a
story when I was young my mom was
actually very worried because she would
find me playing by myself and I would be
smiling right so I’ve always been used
to being alone and being okay with it
right it’s okay to be alone because have
you ever been around somebody and you
never ever see them alone they’ve always
got like a bunch of friends with them
they can’t put down their phone for like
two seconds and yeah I get it because
being alone is frightening for the
majority of the human race because being
alone means oh yeah you got to be with
yourself you got to go within a lot of
stuff is going to come out that’s why a
lot of us we want to always be with
friends but if you continue just to
follow the crowd
you will only go as far as the crowd if
there are people in your life wherever
it is try the plus one strategy you’re
going to go out to you know dinner with
a buddy
maybe it’s your only close friend in the
world ask your close friend in the world
say why don’t you bring someone to
dinner who we can just have the will
make it a instead of just the two of us
we’ll have three at dinner you know and
and start introducing one more person
into your social interactions asking
them questions sharing a little about
yourself and as that happens it’s not
about you know quantity it’s about
quality which is why I started with that
conversation engaging with real interest
in others sharing yourself with them and
being okay with that interaction but now
let’s just start amping it up one plus
if you and your spouse are going out
with somebody then ask that couple to
bring another couple just get used to
enlarging your social sphere a little
bit more because you know how it is
sometimes you do have a social sphere
but you don’t really connect with them
you know I mean maybe maybe maybe you’ve
got like three people in your life and
you’re like you know you’re like one of
them will ask all three to bring
somebody to the next thing you do and
now the odds are increasing that you’re
going to find somebody to connect with
because one new person connect what can
can change your outlook your mood your
life forever one new person can bring in
a whole new quality of energy into your
life just one but you have to be
proactive you can’t wait sit there oh I
hope I hope I hope you got to invite
people to stuff you know that’s the key
you got to start inviting people to
stuff and so that plus one strategy if
you’re going to do anything with another
person invite another person along with
that you’re going to start to see that
your social sphere grows and the odds
are you’ll find somebody in there to
connect with just the belief I like you
to try on I don’t need an excuse to feel
good what if I don’t need excuse to feel
good I just feel good for no good reason
how my life decided you say I
now notice notice when I first said it
you guys are kind of quiet processing it
like I don’t need to be a reason to feel
good oh how I notice feel good some
people see that sounds really naive
really most people don’t need a reason
to feel bad how’s it going feel like
crap
how come woke up and people go I
understand I understand what if you
would semi said how’s it gonna go I feel
so great how come I don’t know I just
feel good you don’t take that guy since
I kiyah trous right there they’re manic
they’re crazy but somebody else is
depressed and angry and frustrated you
think that’s totally normal
that’s the cultural hypnosis that we’ve
all been in no matter what country we
live in people come to me all the time
in a continent just logo mr. Robbins I
don’t know what it is
I just feel down all the time why do you
think I feel that way so I feel so up
what do you think I feel so up all the
time I don’t know maybe it’s your money
he’ll come up Tina go Miss Robbins I
don’t know what it is for for some
reason I’m angry all the time you know
what it is perhaps it’s your face see do
we get in habits and using our body our
face in a certain way over and over
again yes or no and those produce our
emotion once you’re in that state you’ll
behave in a way to create some more of
that emotion when you’re angry you’ll do
things that make you more angry when
you’re sad you didn’t to make you more
sad when you’re excited you’ll do things
make you more excited how many follow
say I so the secret is to build
emotional biceps emotional fitness by
going in these states over and over
again the only thing that causes
loneliness is our own thoughts so for
single people what happens
we tend to believe being in a
relationship would make me happy being
in a relationship would make me feel
complete and whole being a relationship
is how to be happiest and as soon as we
think that as soon as we create this
fantasy all of a sudden this moment is
insufficient this moment is lacking this
one isn’t good enough and that’s what
creates our loneliness so paradoxically
having a fantasy about what you think
will make you happy
create loneliness in this moment and
then we we constantly end up searching
for somebody to love us someone to be
with and that all just perpetuate the
loneliness so in other words what
creates our loneliness is the belief
that a relationship can make us happy so
if you want to stop feeling lonely you
need to question that belief happiness
is what remains when we lose the
thoughts that make us unhappy that’s it
so if you can see that a relationship
doesn’t have the ability to make you
happy and you can stop these fantasies
about whether you’re in a relationship
or you’re single doesn’t affect your
happiness only thoughts do so being
single being alone being by yourself
doesn’t create unhappiness only thought
to do so you’re not in a disadvantageous
position of being happy you can be you
can be happy and fulfilled just as
easily if somebody in relationship can
so your life is not lacking you are not
missing anything your life isn’t
insufficient just because you’re single
it’s okay doesn’t mean anything
it absolutely doesn’t mean you can’t be
happy so if you can see that and watch
the loneliness just subside Nick ask
it’s lonely as an entrepreneur sometime
how do you cope with that feeling you
know for me I’m built for it I want to
be lonely I want to
struggle and grind they have all the
pressure I’m going to take the last shot
in the game always every time if you
want the audacity to be a millionaire to
be successful to write books if you’re
lucky audacity don’t you understand the
crap that comes along with that like I
wanted the audacity to be in shape it’s
come with a lot of crap it’s been a lot
of work
I’m 18 months in and I’m like I said to
see that I’m not spent on my fitness
video I’m not sure I would do this
if I saw what I would look like 18
months later meaning I look a lot better
a payment I would be like really for
every single day for 18 months to wake
up at 4:00 in the morning you know like
I was like you know so you deal with it
because it’s a very small price to pay
for all the phenomenal stuff that you
headline read and you aspire to a new
dream for the problem is most of you
don’t want to eat that to get there for
me developing a strategy around solving
your loneliness really depends on the
type of person you are I think we all
have different needs for being around
people for me I’m more introverted I
need to have energy just by myself I
need to have time where I’m in a solo
space for a good chunk of time if I’m
around people too much then I get
depleted and I need to recharge and I
think the only the only caveat is when
I’m around entrepreneurs when I’m around
entrepreneurs and I’m helping them or
having an impact I can do that all day
long but if you’re looking at friends
and family and social functions it
really drains me and so I think what’s
really important is understanding how
much social time you need and devising
the strategy around it so as an example
if I’m around people all day if I’m
filming there’s people around me we’re
having conversations then at night I
don’t need to be around people I’m okay
just being by myself relaxing unwinding
doing some more work you know whatever
I’m doing I’m okay to be solo or just
with with Mina if I’ve spent the whole
day by myself and I haven’t had any
human contact beyond you know snapchat
Instagram YouTube that kind of stuff
then I find myself needing to have to go
out whether it’s coming to an event here
at Canada and salsa book in a meeting
going to an event something so that I
have more human contact I think what’s
really important is when you understand
how much you need that you devise a
strategy for it so that it consistently
happens in your
schedule and that you’re not stuck
last-minute feeling depressed that you
have nothing to do I think that’s where
it can get really scary think that’s
when we can get really lonely really
depressing is you know that you’re
spending your whole day by yourself you
know that at night you’re going to have
a hard time if you haven’t had any
social contact and then you get there
you’re in the moment at night and you
don’t have anybody to connect with where
if you know that that’s part of your
partner and you know how much you need
then you can sign up for a dance class
you can sign up for a meet-up you can
book of coffee appointment with somebody
you want to get to know we’re hanging
out with friends and so I think first of
all understanding of how much contact
you need with people to feel whole to
feel good and then devising a strategy
so it’s in your schedule and you plan
for it and you don’t get caught
last-minute on either spectrum of having
too much or having too little I think
when you can figure that out then you’ll
really combat loneliness and be happier
thank you guys so much for watching
I made this beauty because I’m our deep
ask me to because there’s a topic you
like me to cover in the next edition I
believe life please leave it down in the
comments below and I’ll see what I can
do
I’d also love to know which rule did you
like the best what did you learn the
most I’m watching this video what are
you going to take from it that you will
immediately apply somewhere in your in
life or your business I’d love to learn
and please leave it down in the comments
below I also want to give a quick share
to – Martin Martin thank you so much for
picking up a copy of my book your one
word it really really really means a lot
to man and I hope you’re enjoying the
read so thank you guys again for
watching
I hope you have an amazing day I believe
in you
I hope you continue to believe in
yourself and whatever your one word is
much love I’ll see you soon
going to talk about how you can deal
with loneliness and also as you watching
if you hear something that really
resonates with you please leave it in
the comments below and put it in quotes
so other people can be inspired as well
and when you write something down
yourself it’s much more likely to stick
for you as well enjoy
[Music]
what happens when you’re lonely you know
when you have this true feeling of
aloneness despite being all connected as
we are these days where there’s social
media everywhere we can follow all your
friends or all your family or all the
strangers of celebrities of the world
where you can keep connected to
everything but you’re not feeling
connected where you feel truly apart
from the world or apart from others or
you’re in a place where you’re just
feels so separate or you feel depressed
and truly alone you feel and sense of
loneliness in your life it’s a big topic
today because I think a lot of people
feel more of it than they’ve probably
ever felt before partially because so
much of what they’re seeing and
connecting with online isn’t real or
it’s trumped up as the best perfect
rendition of someone’s life and you’re
feeling like well my life isn’t that
good or you see all these shows on
television where there’s you know
there’s these friends and they have all
these other friends and there’s always
that adventure and amazingness and you
think wow the whole world is full of
extroverts who have 50 different friends
and are dating twelve different people
every single you know month that’s just
not real and so we have these unreal
expectations about our social world as
well and and sometimes it can make us
feel even more alone so what do you do
[Music]
a lot of people say I don’t fit in well
if you don’t fit into this world
maybe it’s because you’ll hear to create
a new one I didn’t know that though so
even when I was studying I was like
reading other books about the third eye
and stuff and I felt really alone
because everybody was just so left
brained and I’m talking about different
galaxies and stuff okay now this is what
I found out being a professional alone
person the first secret is that it’s
okay to be alone oh my gosh thank
goodness for that
say it again Ralph it’s okay to be alone
I get over a thousand messages every
single day and a lot of people write to
me saying Ralph I just can’t seem to
find anybody I can get on with so I’m
alone and I don’t like you it’s okay to
be alone the reason why a lot of people
experience a lot of loneliness is
because they are in resistance to being
alone and that was me actually I got a
story when I was young my mom was
actually very worried because she would
find me playing by myself and I would be
smiling right so I’ve always been used
to being alone and being okay with it
right it’s okay to be alone because have
you ever been around somebody and you
never ever see them alone they’ve always
got like a bunch of friends with them
they can’t put down their phone for like
two seconds and yeah I get it because
being alone is frightening for the
majority of the human race because being
alone means oh yeah you got to be with
yourself you got to go within a lot of
stuff is going to come out that’s why a
lot of us we want to always be with
friends but if you continue just to
follow the crowd
you will only go as far as the crowd if
there are people in your life wherever
it is try the plus one strategy you’re
going to go out to you know dinner with
a buddy
maybe it’s your only close friend in the
world ask your close friend in the world
say why don’t you bring someone to
dinner who we can just have the will
make it a instead of just the two of us
we’ll have three at dinner you know and
and start introducing one more person
into your social interactions asking
them questions sharing a little about
yourself and as that happens it’s not
about you know quantity it’s about
quality which is why I started with that
conversation engaging with real interest
in others sharing yourself with them and
being okay with that interaction but now
let’s just start amping it up one plus
if you and your spouse are going out
with somebody then ask that couple to
bring another couple just get used to
enlarging your social sphere a little
bit more because you know how it is
sometimes you do have a social sphere
but you don’t really connect with them
you know I mean maybe maybe maybe you’ve
got like three people in your life and
you’re like you know you’re like one of
them will ask all three to bring
somebody to the next thing you do and
now the odds are increasing that you’re
going to find somebody to connect with
because one new person connect what can
can change your outlook your mood your
life forever one new person can bring in
a whole new quality of energy into your
life just one but you have to be
proactive you can’t wait sit there oh I
hope I hope I hope you got to invite
people to stuff you know that’s the key
you got to start inviting people to
stuff and so that plus one strategy if
you’re going to do anything with another
person invite another person along with
that you’re going to start to see that
your social sphere grows and the odds
are you’ll find somebody in there to
connect with just the belief I like you
to try on I don’t need an excuse to feel
good what if I don’t need excuse to feel
good I just feel good for no good reason
how my life decided you say I
now notice notice when I first said it
you guys are kind of quiet processing it
like I don’t need to be a reason to feel
good oh how I notice feel good some
people see that sounds really naive
really most people don’t need a reason
to feel bad how’s it going feel like
crap
how come woke up and people go I
understand I understand what if you
would semi said how’s it gonna go I feel
so great how come I don’t know I just
feel good you don’t take that guy since
I kiyah trous right there they’re manic
they’re crazy but somebody else is
depressed and angry and frustrated you
think that’s totally normal
that’s the cultural hypnosis that we’ve
all been in no matter what country we
live in people come to me all the time
in a continent just logo mr. Robbins I
don’t know what it is
I just feel down all the time why do you
think I feel that way so I feel so up
what do you think I feel so up all the
time I don’t know maybe it’s your money
he’ll come up Tina go Miss Robbins I
don’t know what it is for for some
reason I’m angry all the time you know
what it is perhaps it’s your face see do
we get in habits and using our body our
face in a certain way over and over
again yes or no and those produce our
emotion once you’re in that state you’ll
behave in a way to create some more of
that emotion when you’re angry you’ll do
things that make you more angry when
you’re sad you didn’t to make you more
sad when you’re excited you’ll do things
make you more excited how many follow
say I so the secret is to build
emotional biceps emotional fitness by
going in these states over and over
again the only thing that causes
loneliness is our own thoughts so for
single people what happens
we tend to believe being in a
relationship would make me happy being
in a relationship would make me feel
complete and whole being a relationship
is how to be happiest and as soon as we
think that as soon as we create this
fantasy all of a sudden this moment is
insufficient this moment is lacking this
one isn’t good enough and that’s what
creates our loneliness so paradoxically
having a fantasy about what you think
will make you happy
create loneliness in this moment and
then we we constantly end up searching
for somebody to love us someone to be
with and that all just perpetuate the
loneliness so in other words what
creates our loneliness is the belief
that a relationship can make us happy so
if you want to stop feeling lonely you
need to question that belief happiness
is what remains when we lose the
thoughts that make us unhappy that’s it
so if you can see that a relationship
doesn’t have the ability to make you
happy and you can stop these fantasies
about whether you’re in a relationship
or you’re single doesn’t affect your
happiness only thoughts do so being
single being alone being by yourself
doesn’t create unhappiness only thought
to do so you’re not in a disadvantageous
position of being happy you can be you
can be happy and fulfilled just as
easily if somebody in relationship can
so your life is not lacking you are not
missing anything your life isn’t
insufficient just because you’re single
it’s okay doesn’t mean anything
it absolutely doesn’t mean you can’t be
happy so if you can see that and watch
the loneliness just subside Nick ask
it’s lonely as an entrepreneur sometime
how do you cope with that feeling you
know for me I’m built for it I want to
be lonely I want to
struggle and grind they have all the
pressure I’m going to take the last shot
in the game always every time if you
want the audacity to be a millionaire to
be successful to write books if you’re
lucky audacity don’t you understand the
crap that comes along with that like I
wanted the audacity to be in shape it’s
come with a lot of crap it’s been a lot
of work
I’m 18 months in and I’m like I said to
see that I’m not spent on my fitness
video I’m not sure I would do this
if I saw what I would look like 18
months later meaning I look a lot better
a payment I would be like really for
every single day for 18 months to wake
up at 4:00 in the morning you know like
I was like you know so you deal with it
because it’s a very small price to pay
for all the phenomenal stuff that you
headline read and you aspire to a new
dream for the problem is most of you
don’t want to eat that to get there for
me developing a strategy around solving
your loneliness really depends on the
type of person you are I think we all
have different needs for being around
people for me I’m more introverted I
need to have energy just by myself I
need to have time where I’m in a solo
space for a good chunk of time if I’m
around people too much then I get
depleted and I need to recharge and I
think the only the only caveat is when
I’m around entrepreneurs when I’m around
entrepreneurs and I’m helping them or
having an impact I can do that all day
long but if you’re looking at friends
and family and social functions it
really drains me and so I think what’s
really important is understanding how
much social time you need and devising
the strategy around it so as an example
if I’m around people all day if I’m
filming there’s people around me we’re
having conversations then at night I
don’t need to be around people I’m okay
just being by myself relaxing unwinding
doing some more work you know whatever
I’m doing I’m okay to be solo or just
with with Mina if I’ve spent the whole
day by myself and I haven’t had any
human contact beyond you know snapchat
Instagram YouTube that kind of stuff
then I find myself needing to have to go
out whether it’s coming to an event here
at Canada and salsa book in a meeting
going to an event something so that I
have more human contact I think what’s
really important is when you understand
how much you need that you devise a
strategy for it so that it consistently
happens in your
schedule and that you’re not stuck
last-minute feeling depressed that you
have nothing to do I think that’s where
it can get really scary think that’s
when we can get really lonely really
depressing is you know that you’re
spending your whole day by yourself you
know that at night you’re going to have
a hard time if you haven’t had any
social contact and then you get there
you’re in the moment at night and you
don’t have anybody to connect with where
if you know that that’s part of your
partner and you know how much you need
then you can sign up for a dance class
you can sign up for a meet-up you can
book of coffee appointment with somebody
you want to get to know we’re hanging
out with friends and so I think first of
all understanding of how much contact
you need with people to feel whole to
feel good and then devising a strategy
so it’s in your schedule and you plan
for it and you don’t get caught
last-minute on either spectrum of having
too much or having too little I think
when you can figure that out then you’ll
really combat loneliness and be happier
thank you guys so much for watching
I made this beauty because I’m our deep
ask me to because there’s a topic you
like me to cover in the next edition I
believe life please leave it down in the
comments below and I’ll see what I can
do
I’d also love to know which rule did you
like the best what did you learn the
most I’m watching this video what are
you going to take from it that you will
immediately apply somewhere in your in
life or your business I’d love to learn
and please leave it down in the comments
below I also want to give a quick share
to – Martin Martin thank you so much for
picking up a copy of my book your one
word it really really really means a lot
to man and I hope you’re enjoying the
read so thank you guys again for
watching
I hope you have an amazing day I believe
in you
I hope you continue to believe in
yourself and whatever your one word is
much love I’ll see you soon
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