good morning believe nation its Evan my
one word is believe I believe in you and
I want to see that thing you’ve got
inside you explode out into the universe
to have a big impact and so to help you
on your journey today we’re gonna learn
how to be more assertive rule number one
is my personal favorite and I’d love to
know which one you guys like the best
and as always guys as you’re watching if
you hear something that really resonates
with you please leave it down the
comments below and put quotes around it
so other people can be inspired and when
you write it down it’s much more likely
to stick with yourself as well
enjoy
[Music]
where’s Kathleen hi Kathleen I want to
say my question and inspired by my
wireless provider so I’ve been I’m not
the only one I’ve had a lot of problems
with my wireless provider and when I go
in and I am sweet as sugar yeah and kind
I am told well would you like to redo
your contract and buy another phone
because there’s nothing we can do for
you when I let’s just call it become
more assertive about my position I am
rewarded with overnight shipping a new
phone and a lot of other things so by
going to a very negative place I think I
am rewarded when I go and unpleasant and
kind and the sweet wonderful person that
I said that I am inside that is
negatively reinforced by them kind of
brushing me off assertion is not
negative being assertive is not being
negative there’s a difference between
the intention of being negative and the
intention of being assertive so it’s
difficult for them to deal with me
because I don’t just roll over and go
away because I am very insistent upon
what I consider an acceptable so okay
well that’s not negative karma spiritual
journey is standing on your own two feet
I felt the same way when you said when
I’m assertive sometimes I get that the
very things that I’m standing up for
what’s wrong with that if you do it with
love and truth its truth and this is
true for me that really doesn’t work for
me that’s very inconvenient for me it
doesn’t seem fair based on the contract
I signed I really think we can do better
here beautiful
[Music]
I’ve always taught people if you want to
change your mind or your motion the
fastest way is a radical change in your
body I’ve taught for decades that trying
to do that in your head to be more
assertive it’s hard cuz your brains like
hell yeah but what if this what if that
and Who am I to do this and the mind
plays these games if you see someone
who’s depressed without me telling you
anything you could tell me that what
person has a physiology to them a way of
using their body what’s their posture
like slumped where’s their head down are
they breathing full or shallow you know
shallow do they talk really loud and
fast or more quiet and more hesitant in
order for us to feel any emotion anger
frustration uncertainty excitement we
have to use our body a certain one
emotion comes from emotion so most of us
have habits of using our body our breath
our movement our facial muscles we have
80 different muscles interface
eight-zero 80 for most people this is
the largest area of unemployment in the
country if you want to change your life
and you want to be more assertive get
around more assertive people and model
them take on their posture move it seems
artificial and boy
stand with your hands on your hips
standing straight up as if you stand
that way for two minutes like Superman
Wonder Woman within two minutes the
testosterone in you male or female
increases an average of 20% and the
cortisol which is the stress hormone
that stresses you out drops 15% in two
minutes and all you’re doing is standing
like this and you’re one-third more
likely to take action be more assertive
do something you normally wouldn’t do I
have a ritual where even if you and my
closest friend I have boundaries
so just because it’s my company it
doesn’t mean I can take calls all day
right I have boundaries so you can’t
call me in a certain time why I’m
working so I’m gonna phone all day and
I’m saying this to entrepreneurs because
one of the gaps and we’ll talk about
this later in the show but you got to
find a gap and one of the gaps with
entrepreneurs is that they feel like
because they own their day they can
spend it like they want you cannot spend
it like you want to you saw you were
working for
IBM are you working for four where are
you working for you could be on the
phone all day I had a major corporation
talking on the pole so so why do you
allow yourself to talk on the phone is
your business my fact is your you should
probably you should make sure there’s no
phone calls board oh that’s your
business so one of my rituals is when
high kicks party there are no
interruptions when I get started I don’t
care if it’s my wife my children they
know that from a certain time train
I’m going all in and I can’t go all in
ants on the phone I can’t go all in and
watchin TV in the strike head I can’t go
in with the distraction and so some
entrepreneurs like why I blown up
because you don’t you’re not in
abstraction you don’t have that that
that moment of your day
I don’t care there’s two hours four
hours where you shut in try your world
out no Twitter no Facebook no you know
that no Instagram
we love that in Sudama so we’re just the
two hours I’m going in and once I come
out then we can do Instagram not be
honest your content probably would be
stronger if you had that that time of
isolation of solitude where you give
yourself a chance to think you give
yourself a chance to go in and when you
go in you go 120 percent so yeah I like
that you need to find your voice and
this is something that is incredibly
difficult to do if you’re not used to it
you know I see some people that you know
even some kids that are like screaming
at their mom and dad I’m just thinking
myself man that’s incredible
not that it’s right or not that it’s
good they really should be more
respectable respectable they should be
more respectable and respectful but the
deal is the fact that they will stand up
for themselves in that capacity and that
intensely is mind-blowing to me find
your voice use I statements instead of
you statements
this way you can express what you want
without being accusatory to it what
follows is the wrong way to tell your
roommate to do the dishes you never do
the dishes there’s a pile of them in
this thing right now and it’s old enough
to be carbon-dated here’s the right way
I feel like I’ve been doing more than my
fair share of the dishes lately I’m
pretty tired when I get home from work
could you help me out see you expressed
your frustration without sounding like a
nag the assertive dis goldmine what is
it I truly want to start moving towards
it on a consistent basis before we know
the whole plan often you know a lot of
people think that you’re you know your
decision is your destiny and sometimes
I’m like I don’t know about that a lot
of people decide to lose weight a lot of
people decide to be a loving spouse a
lot of people decide to do something
good but they don’t it’s discipline
action that is your destiny right and
often some of the best decisions in your
life come after you have momentum at
something and then you’ve gained some
more perspective right but a lot of us
are waiting for the perfect plan the
perfect time the perfect person the
perfect thing to pursue our goals or our
dreams and is that waiting that often
dampens our confidence because we’re
where we’re at the external we’re sorta
at the whim of the world a little bit
maybe we get lucky maybe that person
comes in maybe the funding comes through
whatever it is we have to instead say
what can I do to begin this
what could I do now to begin because
even if you begin and you’re not sure
you don’t have to hold a whole path
right sometimes the whole stairway is
not looming until you take that first
step as we learn from Martin Luther King
right it’s like what is that for it
sometimes it’s that first step and then
the staircase emerges then we can see
and so for yourself as soon as you take
that first step that says in your mind
hey you know what I took a step good for
me and then you start making better and
better decisions because you’re able to
see more often you don’t know where
you’re going in life until you start
jogging towards something it still is
run in place run somewhere but as soon
as you run you start things open up to
say oh look at this look at this look at
this people haven’t say I wish I had
more vision for my life Brendan it’s
hard to have vision for your life you’ve
never seen anything get outside of the
house turn off the TV turn off the
computer go see the world a little bit
do gain a little more vision and with
more vision and momentum towards the
things you want you will have more
confidence
thank you guys so much for watching I
hope you enjoyed I love to know what do
you think of this video what did you
take home that you were going to
immediately apply somehow into your life
for your business please leave it down
the comments below I would love to hear
from you I also want to give a quick
Charlotte – Kelly Quinton from you and
Kelly Q comm Kelly thank you so much for
picking up ten copies of my book and
sharing it with your friends giving them
out as gifts
I really really appreciate all your
support I’m so glad you enjoyed the read
thank you guys again for watching have
an amazing day I believe in you hoping
continue to believe in yourself and
whatever your one word is much love I’ll
see you soon
until you’re at a place in your
confidence development where you feel
pretty good about yourself and know the
value that you bring you’re never going
to be able to be assertive because
assertiveness and asserting yourself
does require a degree of risk and most
of us are totally risk adverse but with
confidence and assertiveness they go
hand in hand be simple honest and direct
don’t be passive-aggressive or coy it’s
annoying if a waiter brings you a kale
salad and you ordered a cheeseburger
don’t wait until the end of the meal to
under tip have them send it back if
you’re honest and direct
rather than Watley and underhanded
things are more likely to work out in
your favor at the very least you’ve done
yourself a favor by making your needs
known person has struggled with
assertiveness myself I was always kind
of meek in the way that that I would
interact with people and I still am to a
certain degree I’ve worked on it a lot
but this kind of meekness really holds
you back because a lot of times you’ll
want something simple and you won’t be
able to get it simply because you give
up before your message has been
delivered and sometimes your message has
to be repeated and repeated and repeated
persistently until you get what you want
it can be just a very simple thing like
maybe you go to a hotel and they don’t
have your room for some reason they sold
your room to somebody else and now you
need to you need a room for the night so
basically what can you do well you can
just accept it as it is maybe ask them
about why they screwed up your
reservation then accept it or you can be
assertive you can be persistent you can
get the manager to come out you can get
his manager to come out you can kind of
pummel away at the problem until maybe
some something clicks and something
happens and you’d be surprised how how
often something like that where you’re
being assertive and being assertive
sometimes just some sort of spontaneous
solution presents itself whereas if you
were meek then you would have just been
hit he would have taken that hit and you
wouldn’t have ultimately gotten what you
wanted out of the situation
one word is believe I believe in you and
I want to see that thing you’ve got
inside you explode out into the universe
to have a big impact and so to help you
on your journey today we’re gonna learn
how to be more assertive rule number one
is my personal favorite and I’d love to
know which one you guys like the best
and as always guys as you’re watching if
you hear something that really resonates
with you please leave it down the
comments below and put quotes around it
so other people can be inspired and when
you write it down it’s much more likely
to stick with yourself as well
enjoy
[Music]
where’s Kathleen hi Kathleen I want to
say my question and inspired by my
wireless provider so I’ve been I’m not
the only one I’ve had a lot of problems
with my wireless provider and when I go
in and I am sweet as sugar yeah and kind
I am told well would you like to redo
your contract and buy another phone
because there’s nothing we can do for
you when I let’s just call it become
more assertive about my position I am
rewarded with overnight shipping a new
phone and a lot of other things so by
going to a very negative place I think I
am rewarded when I go and unpleasant and
kind and the sweet wonderful person that
I said that I am inside that is
negatively reinforced by them kind of
brushing me off assertion is not
negative being assertive is not being
negative there’s a difference between
the intention of being negative and the
intention of being assertive so it’s
difficult for them to deal with me
because I don’t just roll over and go
away because I am very insistent upon
what I consider an acceptable so okay
well that’s not negative karma spiritual
journey is standing on your own two feet
I felt the same way when you said when
I’m assertive sometimes I get that the
very things that I’m standing up for
what’s wrong with that if you do it with
love and truth its truth and this is
true for me that really doesn’t work for
me that’s very inconvenient for me it
doesn’t seem fair based on the contract
I signed I really think we can do better
here beautiful
[Music]
I’ve always taught people if you want to
change your mind or your motion the
fastest way is a radical change in your
body I’ve taught for decades that trying
to do that in your head to be more
assertive it’s hard cuz your brains like
hell yeah but what if this what if that
and Who am I to do this and the mind
plays these games if you see someone
who’s depressed without me telling you
anything you could tell me that what
person has a physiology to them a way of
using their body what’s their posture
like slumped where’s their head down are
they breathing full or shallow you know
shallow do they talk really loud and
fast or more quiet and more hesitant in
order for us to feel any emotion anger
frustration uncertainty excitement we
have to use our body a certain one
emotion comes from emotion so most of us
have habits of using our body our breath
our movement our facial muscles we have
80 different muscles interface
eight-zero 80 for most people this is
the largest area of unemployment in the
country if you want to change your life
and you want to be more assertive get
around more assertive people and model
them take on their posture move it seems
artificial and boy
stand with your hands on your hips
standing straight up as if you stand
that way for two minutes like Superman
Wonder Woman within two minutes the
testosterone in you male or female
increases an average of 20% and the
cortisol which is the stress hormone
that stresses you out drops 15% in two
minutes and all you’re doing is standing
like this and you’re one-third more
likely to take action be more assertive
do something you normally wouldn’t do I
have a ritual where even if you and my
closest friend I have boundaries
so just because it’s my company it
doesn’t mean I can take calls all day
right I have boundaries so you can’t
call me in a certain time why I’m
working so I’m gonna phone all day and
I’m saying this to entrepreneurs because
one of the gaps and we’ll talk about
this later in the show but you got to
find a gap and one of the gaps with
entrepreneurs is that they feel like
because they own their day they can
spend it like they want you cannot spend
it like you want to you saw you were
working for
IBM are you working for four where are
you working for you could be on the
phone all day I had a major corporation
talking on the pole so so why do you
allow yourself to talk on the phone is
your business my fact is your you should
probably you should make sure there’s no
phone calls board oh that’s your
business so one of my rituals is when
high kicks party there are no
interruptions when I get started I don’t
care if it’s my wife my children they
know that from a certain time train
I’m going all in and I can’t go all in
ants on the phone I can’t go all in and
watchin TV in the strike head I can’t go
in with the distraction and so some
entrepreneurs like why I blown up
because you don’t you’re not in
abstraction you don’t have that that
that moment of your day
I don’t care there’s two hours four
hours where you shut in try your world
out no Twitter no Facebook no you know
that no Instagram
we love that in Sudama so we’re just the
two hours I’m going in and once I come
out then we can do Instagram not be
honest your content probably would be
stronger if you had that that time of
isolation of solitude where you give
yourself a chance to think you give
yourself a chance to go in and when you
go in you go 120 percent so yeah I like
that you need to find your voice and
this is something that is incredibly
difficult to do if you’re not used to it
you know I see some people that you know
even some kids that are like screaming
at their mom and dad I’m just thinking
myself man that’s incredible
not that it’s right or not that it’s
good they really should be more
respectable respectable they should be
more respectable and respectful but the
deal is the fact that they will stand up
for themselves in that capacity and that
intensely is mind-blowing to me find
your voice use I statements instead of
you statements
this way you can express what you want
without being accusatory to it what
follows is the wrong way to tell your
roommate to do the dishes you never do
the dishes there’s a pile of them in
this thing right now and it’s old enough
to be carbon-dated here’s the right way
I feel like I’ve been doing more than my
fair share of the dishes lately I’m
pretty tired when I get home from work
could you help me out see you expressed
your frustration without sounding like a
nag the assertive dis goldmine what is
it I truly want to start moving towards
it on a consistent basis before we know
the whole plan often you know a lot of
people think that you’re you know your
decision is your destiny and sometimes
I’m like I don’t know about that a lot
of people decide to lose weight a lot of
people decide to be a loving spouse a
lot of people decide to do something
good but they don’t it’s discipline
action that is your destiny right and
often some of the best decisions in your
life come after you have momentum at
something and then you’ve gained some
more perspective right but a lot of us
are waiting for the perfect plan the
perfect time the perfect person the
perfect thing to pursue our goals or our
dreams and is that waiting that often
dampens our confidence because we’re
where we’re at the external we’re sorta
at the whim of the world a little bit
maybe we get lucky maybe that person
comes in maybe the funding comes through
whatever it is we have to instead say
what can I do to begin this
what could I do now to begin because
even if you begin and you’re not sure
you don’t have to hold a whole path
right sometimes the whole stairway is
not looming until you take that first
step as we learn from Martin Luther King
right it’s like what is that for it
sometimes it’s that first step and then
the staircase emerges then we can see
and so for yourself as soon as you take
that first step that says in your mind
hey you know what I took a step good for
me and then you start making better and
better decisions because you’re able to
see more often you don’t know where
you’re going in life until you start
jogging towards something it still is
run in place run somewhere but as soon
as you run you start things open up to
say oh look at this look at this look at
this people haven’t say I wish I had
more vision for my life Brendan it’s
hard to have vision for your life you’ve
never seen anything get outside of the
house turn off the TV turn off the
computer go see the world a little bit
do gain a little more vision and with
more vision and momentum towards the
things you want you will have more
confidence
thank you guys so much for watching I
hope you enjoyed I love to know what do
you think of this video what did you
take home that you were going to
immediately apply somehow into your life
for your business please leave it down
the comments below I would love to hear
from you I also want to give a quick
Charlotte – Kelly Quinton from you and
Kelly Q comm Kelly thank you so much for
picking up ten copies of my book and
sharing it with your friends giving them
out as gifts
I really really appreciate all your
support I’m so glad you enjoyed the read
thank you guys again for watching have
an amazing day I believe in you hoping
continue to believe in yourself and
whatever your one word is much love I’ll
see you soon
until you’re at a place in your
confidence development where you feel
pretty good about yourself and know the
value that you bring you’re never going
to be able to be assertive because
assertiveness and asserting yourself
does require a degree of risk and most
of us are totally risk adverse but with
confidence and assertiveness they go
hand in hand be simple honest and direct
don’t be passive-aggressive or coy it’s
annoying if a waiter brings you a kale
salad and you ordered a cheeseburger
don’t wait until the end of the meal to
under tip have them send it back if
you’re honest and direct
rather than Watley and underhanded
things are more likely to work out in
your favor at the very least you’ve done
yourself a favor by making your needs
known person has struggled with
assertiveness myself I was always kind
of meek in the way that that I would
interact with people and I still am to a
certain degree I’ve worked on it a lot
but this kind of meekness really holds
you back because a lot of times you’ll
want something simple and you won’t be
able to get it simply because you give
up before your message has been
delivered and sometimes your message has
to be repeated and repeated and repeated
persistently until you get what you want
it can be just a very simple thing like
maybe you go to a hotel and they don’t
have your room for some reason they sold
your room to somebody else and now you
need to you need a room for the night so
basically what can you do well you can
just accept it as it is maybe ask them
about why they screwed up your
reservation then accept it or you can be
assertive you can be persistent you can
get the manager to come out you can get
his manager to come out you can kind of
pummel away at the problem until maybe
some something clicks and something
happens and you’d be surprised how how
often something like that where you’re
being assertive and being assertive
sometimes just some sort of spontaneous
solution presents itself whereas if you
were meek then you would have just been
hit he would have taken that hit and you
wouldn’t have ultimately gotten what you
wanted out of the situation
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