what are some key traits about just
humans that every leader should know
well I think one of the things that we
forget is that we are a legacy machine
working in a very different environment
than we were designed for you know our
species sort of started showing up about
50,000 years ago there were other
hominid species that existed at the time
they died off we survived and it was
those evolutionary traits that gave us
the opportunity to outlive our
competition but also survive and thrive
even as the environment around has
changed we lived in populations that
were never bigger than about a hundred
and fifty people for forty thousand of
the fifty thousand years that we’ve
lived on this planet it’s only the past
ten thousand years with farming that
we’ve been living in populations that
were then we’re larger than that in
other words we’re not made for this
which means all the rules of being human
are exactly the same as they used to be
when we were living in populations of
about 150 and so if you can understand
those things you really understand what
works and what doesn’t work regardless
of the conditions the fact of the matter
is we are social animals and we respond
to the environments were in always our
very survival depends on our ability to
cooperate and trust with the people that
we live or work with right you can take
a good person and put them in a bad
environment and that person will do bad
things you can take a person who maybe
the group doesn’t trust maybe they’ve
even performed bad acts you put them in
a good environment and they’re capable
of turning their lives around and
becoming remarkable members of society
in other words it’s not the person it’s
the environment leaders are responsible
for that environment and I think it
leaders forget that leaders think that
they’re responsible for the results
there’s not a leader on the planet that
is responsible for the results a leader
is responsible for the people who are
responsible for the results and if you
take care of that take care of the
people take care of the environment
things go just fine
you know we’re obsessed with this idea
of like getting the right people on the
bus you know as if it’s this game that
you just sort of keep changing people
out you know some sort of
sort of mix-and-match or something but
we never asked which bus and who’s
driving the bus you know because it’s
not it’s it the bus matters yeah so I’m
I’m I’m more obsessed with what happens
to people when they come together and
protected or unprotected environments
and how we respond to those environments
leadership has nothing to do with rank
leadership is a responsibility as you
gain rank you may have more
responsibility over the lives of more
people but it doesn’t change the nature
of leadership I know many many people
who sit at the highest levels of
organizations who are not leaders they
have authority and we do as they tell us
because they have authority over us but
we wouldn’t follow them and yet I know
many people who’ve made a choice who
have no rank but they’ve made a choice
to look after the person to the left of
them and look after the person to the
right of them and we would follow them
anywhere and that’s what leadership it
is it’s the responsibility to take care
of the people around us the people with
whom we work and leadership is a
practice like any other it is a skill
that can be learned and that means it
requires practice you don’t just
suddenly get a promotion you’re now in a
management position then you’re a leader
right it’s not how it works
if only right if only I know the reality
is we have to learn it and we have to
practice it we have to get good at it
which is what the junior ranks are for
so even if you don’t have the ability to
make decisions that will impact the
entire organization you do have the
ability to make decisions that will
impact the life of another human being
how they feel about their own jobs how
well their responsibility goes how
easily they can get work done how
supported they feel how supported they
feel if they make a mistake you know do
they feel that they can turn to you and
ask you for help that’s all within your
control
it’s the same thing as being in a
relationship or being a friend with
being a good friend you know means that
our friends can rely on us that can
trusted us they can turn to us there’s
no difference it’s human beings as human
relationships at the end of the day
becoming a leader is about a transition
and everybody has to go through it if
you want to become a leader and as an
aside I will say leadership is like
parenting in the sense that everybody
has the capacity to be a parent that
doesn’t mean everybody wants to be a
parent and that doesn’t mean everybody
be a parent leadership is the same
everyone is the capacity to be a leader
it doesn’t mean everybody wants to be a
leader and it doesn’t mean everybody
should be a leader and the reason is it
comes with massive massive
responsibilities sometimes people just
don’t want it it’s a lifestyle they
choose not to Adam that’s fine that’s
absolutely fine but if someone chooses
that that is a lifestyle they would like
to have they would like to become a
leader then they have to acknowledge
that they will or need to go through a
transition when we’re very very junior
the only thing we have to do is be good
at our jobs that’s it right some people
go get advanced degrees and how to do
their jobs engineers or accountants and
if you’re good at your job they’ll
promote you and eventually you’ll get
promoted to a position where you’re now
responsible for the people who do the
job you used to do but nobody teaches us
how to do that and we just expect them
to be good at leadership right it’s as
if we put somebody in front of the
Machine and demanded results but never
showed them how to use the machine and
so the reason we get managers the reason
we get micro managers the reason we get
bad leaders is because nobody showed
them how to do the job of leadership for
one and two they can’t help themselves
of course they’re gonna tell you to do
it their way because they actually do
know how to do it better than you
because that’s what got them to the
promotion in the first place and the
transition we have to make is that we
are no longer responsible for the job
thank you as I said before we now become
responsible for the people for response
the job right there’s not a manager
around who’s responsible for the results
we’re responsible for the people who are
responsible for the results I love
talking to CEOs and I’m like what’s your
priority they say my priority is my
customer I’m like you don’t talk to a
customer in ten years you know you have
no impact on a customer at all what you
can do is screw with someone’s life who
will then impact your customer or
support someone who will then impact
your customer right leaders are
responsible for the people who are
responsible for the people who are
responsible for the people who are
responsible for the customer get that
chain right that is the chain of command
get that chain right and every end
everything goes just fine get that chain
wrong and then the people who are
touching the customer inventing the
product selling the product figuring out
ways how to build the company manage the
numbers manage the processes manage the
operations in other words all the heavy
lifting
get that chain wrong and those people
will spend more time protecting
themselves from you than doing their job
right any company for example where it
is standard practice in that company for
employees to feel the need to send a cya
email after every decision they make is
a sign that they’re taking time and
energy out of their job away from
advancing the company’s mission in order
to protect themselves from their own
company that’s what that is
any company where it is standard
practice for people to feel the need to
keep a folder of all the good things
they’ve done in their careers just in
case they need it you know is a sign
that they’re taking time and energy out
of their day away from doing their job
in order to protect themselves from
their own leaders that’s what that is
those are signs of bad leadership
politics gossip all of these things are
people acting out of self-interest
that’s what politics and gossip is right
in well led organizations you tend to
find very little politics and very
little gossip because we’re not
competing at that level we’re now
working together to compete at a at a
much higher level I’ll tell you one
quick story it’s a true story that
captures it’s just so perfectly I was
staying at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas
which is a wonderful hotel
and the service there is really great
the reason it’s such a great hotel is
because of the people who work there and
I had an experience with a young man by
the name of Noah and Noah’s a barista in
the coffee shop that they have just
there in the lobby and I was buying a
cup of coffee and Noah was charming and
funny and engaging and I think I gave a
hundred percent tip I think my five
dollar coffee I think I gave a five
dollar tip I mean this guy was great I
love talking to him he was a joy and I
asked him do you like your job he said
to me I love my job without skipping a
beat and I asked what is it that the
four seasons is doing that you love your
job so much he says with again without
skipping a beat he says throughout the
day managers will walk past and ask how
I’m doing that there’s anything that I
need
he said not just my manager any manager
he says I feel supported here he says
quote I can be myself right then magic
and then he says to me I also work at
Caesar’s Palace and they’re the managers
go around to make sure that we’re doing
everything right and catch us if we do
something wrong he says when I go to
work at Caesar’s Palace I keep my head
just under the radar because I don’t
want to get in trouble he said I just
want to get through the day and make a
paycheck right same person right the
experience that I have it the four
seasons will be diametrically opposite
to the experience that I have at
Caesar’s Palace
not because of Noah but because of
Noah’s leadership right and the joke is
if I were to go talk to the managers
over at Caesar’s Palace and say you know
it’s you they’ll say but you don’t
understand we cannot get good work out
of our peoples look look no matter how
hard we try and how hard we push them
they just don’t so we either have to
replace them and push them harder no we
respond to the environments we’re in get
the environment right you get the right
behavior get the environment wrong you
get the wrong behavior if that is what
is happening it is because of leadership
not because of the people I’m
embarrassed that I have a career you
know I talk about things like trust and
cooperation why is there demand for my
work you know but the fact that there is
I’ll take it as an opportunity but
what’s really sort of abominable is that
this is not a new idea like there are
books galore and speeches galore and
articles galore about what leadership is
you know we all kind of say the same
thing from a different angle so you can
pick your flavor whichever message
resonates most with you and yet people
don’t do it what’s the hang-up and so I
get this question a lot which is what do
you know what are the most important
characteristics about being a leader you
know vision charisma you know
I know some spectacular leaders who
don’t have big Steve Jobs Ian’s visions
they’re just not visionary you know and
I know some spectacular leaders who
really don’t have a lot of charisma they
kind of just shuffle around and you’re
like that’s the guy that’s the guy right
and they’re spectacular and people will
give blood sweat and tears for these
people the one thing I am comfortable
saying that all effective leaders must
have is courage because it is hard it is
hard to stand up against outside
pressure it is hard to stand up to an
external constituency who’s pushing you
to do something for their short-term
gain to do the right thing for your
people it is hard it is thankless
it is lonely it sometimes sometimes you
get fired sometimes you get in trouble
sometimes you’ll lose your job and the
next guy will get all the credit it’s
all true and the courage to do the right
thing in the face of overwhelming
pressure only the best leaders have that
courage only the best leaders and here’s
the folly courage is not some deep
internal fortitude you don’t dig down
deep and find the courage right it just
doesn’t exist
courage is external our courage comes
from the support we feel from others in
other words when someone when you feel
that someone has your back when you you
know that the day that you admit you
can’t do it someone will be there and
say I got you you can do this that’s
what gives you the courage to do the
difficult thing it’s not going off to an
ashram by yourself somewhere for four
weeks and coming back and finding the
car it’s not what happens it’s the
relationships that we foster it’s the
people around us who love us and care
about us and believe in us and when we
have those relationships we will find
the courage to do the right thing and
when you act with courage that in turn
will inspire those in your organization
to also act with courage in other words
it’s still an external thing that’s what
inspiration is right I’m inspired to
follow your example but those
relationships that we
stur over the course of a lifetime will
not only make us into the leaders we
need to be in and hope we can be but
they’ll often save your life they’ll
save you from depression they’ll save
you from giving up they’ll save you from
any matter of you know negative feelings
about your own capabilities your own
future when someone just says I love you
and I will follow you no matter what
being vulnerable doesn’t mean crying
being vulnerable means willing to admit
you made a mistake being vulnerable is
the willingness to say I need help being
vulnerable is the willingness to express
the feelings you have towards someone
without fear of what other people may
think of you by making that expression
and most people especially if they don’t
have a trusting environment or a strong
corporate culture most people don’t want
to feel vulnerable
it’s dangerous to feel vulnerable if you
admit you made a mistake but you don’t
know what you’re doing you’ve been
promoted into a job that you have no
clue or no business being in that job
lying hiding and faking is a much better
option right but for the fact that it’s
more stressful and ultimately the
results will falter right it’s it’s
counterintuitive but that’s what that’s
what a strong environment means it means
I can be vulnerable so the fact that you
can say that out loud
means that there’s a loving trusting
culture here that is okay with you being
vulnerable nobody’s thinking oh my god
this company’s going downhill this guy’s
nuts he’s you know he’s blubbering all
over the place you know that’s not what
people are think I mean some people are
probably thinking but generally that’s
not what people are thinking if anything
people are going cool and that then
inspires them
feel that they can also express
vulnerability like admitted mistake like
say they screwed up like say they need
help but say you know they want to offer
help to someone not fear that either so
that’s that’s one perspective the other
the other reason why stuff that I talk
about or that you’re talking about now
it’s so often ignored is just cuz it’s
hard to measure you know how do you
measure leadership how do you measure
gonna be one of my question how do you
measure how do you measure Trust you
know they lack good metrics it’s very
easy to measure revenues and profits and
market share so let’s focus on those
things because I can I can like pull a
lever here and see what happens over
there
right but in terms of like trust I’ll
pull it leave it here and I won’t see
anything for six months so it’s not that
I don’t know that it exists
everybody talks about the importance of
culture it nobody seems to be focused on
building it I’ve never met a CEO in my
in my life who doesn’t think people are
important and yet every day they’re
making decisions that prioritize a
number over a person that literally
don’t care about people they make
decisions that literally brush people
aside because it’s hard to measure in an
ultra speedy you know algorithmic world
that we live in what gets measured gets
done these things are measurable just
metrics are fine the metrics are fine
they’re just not in the short-term and
they’re just not fixed entirely so for
example do you love your wife yes right
prove it like what’s the metric give me
the number
that helps me know right because when
you met her you didn’t love her right
now you love her right tell me the day
the love happened it’s an impossible
question right but it’s not that it
doesn’t exist it’s that it’s much easier
to prove overtime right
so all leadership is the same thing it’s
about transitions so if you were to if
you were to go to the gym right it’s
like exercise right if you go to the gym
and you work out and you come back and
you look in the mirror you will see
nothing and if you go to the gym the
next day and you come back and you look
so clearly there’s no results can’t be
measured it must not be effective so we
quit right or if you fundamentally
believe that this is the right course of
action and you stick with it like in a
relationship
I bought her flowers and I wished her a
happy birthday and she doesn’t let me
clearly I’ll give up you know that’s not
what happens if you if you believe
there’s something there you commit
yourself to act an act of service you
commit yourself to the regime the
exercise you couldn’t screw it up you
can eat chocolate cake one day you can
skip a skip a day or two you know it
allows for that but if you stick with it
consistently I’m not exactly sure what
day but I know you’ll start getting into
shape I know it and the same with the
relationship it’s not about the events
it’s not about intensity it’s about
consistency right you go to the dentist
twice a year your teeth will fall out
you have to brush your teeth every day
for two minutes what is brushing your
day twice a day for two minutes do
nothing unless you do it every day twice
a day for two minutes right it’s the
consistency going to the gym for nine
hours does not get you into shape
working out every day for 20 minutes
gets you into shape so the problem is we
treat leadership with intensity we have
a two-day off-site we would invite a
bunch of speakers we give everybody
certificate you’re a leader right those
things are like going to the dentist
they’re very important that good for
reminding us or getting us back on track
learning new lessons but it’s the daily
practice of all the monotonous little
boring things like brushing your teeth
that matter the most she didn’t fall in
love with you because you remembered her
birthday and bought her flowers in
Valentine’s Day she fell in love with
you because when you woke up in the
morning you said good morning to her
before you checked your phone she fell
in love with you because when you went
to the fridge to get yourself a drink
you got her one without even asking she
fell in love with you because when you
had an amazing day at work and she came
home and she had a terrible day at work
you didn’t say yeah yeah yeah but let me
tell you about my day you sat and
listened to her awful day and you didn’t
say a thing about your amazing day this
is why she fell in love with you I can’t
tell you exactly what day and it was no
specular thing you did it was the
accumulation of all of those little
things that she woke up one days and
this as if she pressed a button she go
I love him right leadership is exactly
the same there’s no event there’s no
thing I can tell you you have to do that
your people will trust you it just
doesn’t work that way it’s then it’s an
accumulation of lots and lots of little
things that anyone by themselves is
innocuous and useless literally
pointless by themselves people will look
at little things that are good
leadership practice and say that won’t
work and you’re absolutely right but if
you do it consistently and you do it in
combination with lots of other little
things like saying good morning to
someone that looking in the eye my
friend George who’s a three-star general
in the Marine Corps
he says his test for leadership and I
love this because his tests really a
good leaders if you ask somebody how
their day is going you actually care
about the answer and the number of times
were walking to a meeting we’re rushing
we go how are you not good I gotta get
to you later I got him late for a
meeting if you ask the question you were
standing there and you’re listening to
the answer it’s those little innocuous
things that you do over and over and
over and over that people will say I
love my job not I like my job I like my
job means yeah the challenge is great
they pay me well I like the people I
love my job means I don’t want to work
anywhere else I don’t care how much
somebody else was willing to pay me I’m
devoted to the people here that I cared
desperately about the people here as if
they were my family
in business we have colleagues and
co-workers in the military they have
brothers and sisters that’s how they
think of each other right if you really
have a strong corporate culture the
people will think of each other like
brothers and sisters like a family right
no brothers and sisters deep love fight
but the love doesn’t go away right
bicker the love doesn’t go away and I’ll
fight with my sister but if you threaten
my sister you’re gonna have to deal with
me right right we’ll fight internally
we’ll bicker with each other but
nobody’s gonna hurt each other and if
anything from the outside shows up you
got it you’re looking at a unified front
brothers and sisters now how do you
create brothers and sisters out of
strangers common beliefs common values
you know parents in other words
executives who care about their
children’s success who care to raise
their children teach them skills
discipline them when necessary help them
build their self-confidence so that they
couldn’t go on and achieve something
more than you could have ever imagined
achieving for yourself that’s leadership
an absolute love and devotion for the
people who’ve committed their lives to this enterprise
humans that every leader should know
well I think one of the things that we
forget is that we are a legacy machine
working in a very different environment
than we were designed for you know our
species sort of started showing up about
50,000 years ago there were other
hominid species that existed at the time
they died off we survived and it was
those evolutionary traits that gave us
the opportunity to outlive our
competition but also survive and thrive
even as the environment around has
changed we lived in populations that
were never bigger than about a hundred
and fifty people for forty thousand of
the fifty thousand years that we’ve
lived on this planet it’s only the past
ten thousand years with farming that
we’ve been living in populations that
were then we’re larger than that in
other words we’re not made for this
which means all the rules of being human
are exactly the same as they used to be
when we were living in populations of
about 150 and so if you can understand
those things you really understand what
works and what doesn’t work regardless
of the conditions the fact of the matter
is we are social animals and we respond
to the environments were in always our
very survival depends on our ability to
cooperate and trust with the people that
we live or work with right you can take
a good person and put them in a bad
environment and that person will do bad
things you can take a person who maybe
the group doesn’t trust maybe they’ve
even performed bad acts you put them in
a good environment and they’re capable
of turning their lives around and
becoming remarkable members of society
in other words it’s not the person it’s
the environment leaders are responsible
for that environment and I think it
leaders forget that leaders think that
they’re responsible for the results
there’s not a leader on the planet that
is responsible for the results a leader
is responsible for the people who are
responsible for the results and if you
take care of that take care of the
people take care of the environment
things go just fine
you know we’re obsessed with this idea
of like getting the right people on the
bus you know as if it’s this game that
you just sort of keep changing people
out you know some sort of
sort of mix-and-match or something but
we never asked which bus and who’s
driving the bus you know because it’s
not it’s it the bus matters yeah so I’m
I’m I’m more obsessed with what happens
to people when they come together and
protected or unprotected environments
and how we respond to those environments
leadership has nothing to do with rank
leadership is a responsibility as you
gain rank you may have more
responsibility over the lives of more
people but it doesn’t change the nature
of leadership I know many many people
who sit at the highest levels of
organizations who are not leaders they
have authority and we do as they tell us
because they have authority over us but
we wouldn’t follow them and yet I know
many people who’ve made a choice who
have no rank but they’ve made a choice
to look after the person to the left of
them and look after the person to the
right of them and we would follow them
anywhere and that’s what leadership it
is it’s the responsibility to take care
of the people around us the people with
whom we work and leadership is a
practice like any other it is a skill
that can be learned and that means it
requires practice you don’t just
suddenly get a promotion you’re now in a
management position then you’re a leader
right it’s not how it works
if only right if only I know the reality
is we have to learn it and we have to
practice it we have to get good at it
which is what the junior ranks are for
so even if you don’t have the ability to
make decisions that will impact the
entire organization you do have the
ability to make decisions that will
impact the life of another human being
how they feel about their own jobs how
well their responsibility goes how
easily they can get work done how
supported they feel how supported they
feel if they make a mistake you know do
they feel that they can turn to you and
ask you for help that’s all within your
control
it’s the same thing as being in a
relationship or being a friend with
being a good friend you know means that
our friends can rely on us that can
trusted us they can turn to us there’s
no difference it’s human beings as human
relationships at the end of the day
becoming a leader is about a transition
and everybody has to go through it if
you want to become a leader and as an
aside I will say leadership is like
parenting in the sense that everybody
has the capacity to be a parent that
doesn’t mean everybody wants to be a
parent and that doesn’t mean everybody
be a parent leadership is the same
everyone is the capacity to be a leader
it doesn’t mean everybody wants to be a
leader and it doesn’t mean everybody
should be a leader and the reason is it
comes with massive massive
responsibilities sometimes people just
don’t want it it’s a lifestyle they
choose not to Adam that’s fine that’s
absolutely fine but if someone chooses
that that is a lifestyle they would like
to have they would like to become a
leader then they have to acknowledge
that they will or need to go through a
transition when we’re very very junior
the only thing we have to do is be good
at our jobs that’s it right some people
go get advanced degrees and how to do
their jobs engineers or accountants and
if you’re good at your job they’ll
promote you and eventually you’ll get
promoted to a position where you’re now
responsible for the people who do the
job you used to do but nobody teaches us
how to do that and we just expect them
to be good at leadership right it’s as
if we put somebody in front of the
Machine and demanded results but never
showed them how to use the machine and
so the reason we get managers the reason
we get micro managers the reason we get
bad leaders is because nobody showed
them how to do the job of leadership for
one and two they can’t help themselves
of course they’re gonna tell you to do
it their way because they actually do
know how to do it better than you
because that’s what got them to the
promotion in the first place and the
transition we have to make is that we
are no longer responsible for the job
thank you as I said before we now become
responsible for the people for response
the job right there’s not a manager
around who’s responsible for the results
we’re responsible for the people who are
responsible for the results I love
talking to CEOs and I’m like what’s your
priority they say my priority is my
customer I’m like you don’t talk to a
customer in ten years you know you have
no impact on a customer at all what you
can do is screw with someone’s life who
will then impact your customer or
support someone who will then impact
your customer right leaders are
responsible for the people who are
responsible for the people who are
responsible for the people who are
responsible for the customer get that
chain right that is the chain of command
get that chain right and every end
everything goes just fine get that chain
wrong and then the people who are
touching the customer inventing the
product selling the product figuring out
ways how to build the company manage the
numbers manage the processes manage the
operations in other words all the heavy
lifting
get that chain wrong and those people
will spend more time protecting
themselves from you than doing their job
right any company for example where it
is standard practice in that company for
employees to feel the need to send a cya
email after every decision they make is
a sign that they’re taking time and
energy out of their job away from
advancing the company’s mission in order
to protect themselves from their own
company that’s what that is
any company where it is standard
practice for people to feel the need to
keep a folder of all the good things
they’ve done in their careers just in
case they need it you know is a sign
that they’re taking time and energy out
of their day away from doing their job
in order to protect themselves from
their own leaders that’s what that is
those are signs of bad leadership
politics gossip all of these things are
people acting out of self-interest
that’s what politics and gossip is right
in well led organizations you tend to
find very little politics and very
little gossip because we’re not
competing at that level we’re now
working together to compete at a at a
much higher level I’ll tell you one
quick story it’s a true story that
captures it’s just so perfectly I was
staying at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas
which is a wonderful hotel
and the service there is really great
the reason it’s such a great hotel is
because of the people who work there and
I had an experience with a young man by
the name of Noah and Noah’s a barista in
the coffee shop that they have just
there in the lobby and I was buying a
cup of coffee and Noah was charming and
funny and engaging and I think I gave a
hundred percent tip I think my five
dollar coffee I think I gave a five
dollar tip I mean this guy was great I
love talking to him he was a joy and I
asked him do you like your job he said
to me I love my job without skipping a
beat and I asked what is it that the
four seasons is doing that you love your
job so much he says with again without
skipping a beat he says throughout the
day managers will walk past and ask how
I’m doing that there’s anything that I
need
he said not just my manager any manager
he says I feel supported here he says
quote I can be myself right then magic
and then he says to me I also work at
Caesar’s Palace and they’re the managers
go around to make sure that we’re doing
everything right and catch us if we do
something wrong he says when I go to
work at Caesar’s Palace I keep my head
just under the radar because I don’t
want to get in trouble he said I just
want to get through the day and make a
paycheck right same person right the
experience that I have it the four
seasons will be diametrically opposite
to the experience that I have at
Caesar’s Palace
not because of Noah but because of
Noah’s leadership right and the joke is
if I were to go talk to the managers
over at Caesar’s Palace and say you know
it’s you they’ll say but you don’t
understand we cannot get good work out
of our peoples look look no matter how
hard we try and how hard we push them
they just don’t so we either have to
replace them and push them harder no we
respond to the environments we’re in get
the environment right you get the right
behavior get the environment wrong you
get the wrong behavior if that is what
is happening it is because of leadership
not because of the people I’m
embarrassed that I have a career you
know I talk about things like trust and
cooperation why is there demand for my
work you know but the fact that there is
I’ll take it as an opportunity but
what’s really sort of abominable is that
this is not a new idea like there are
books galore and speeches galore and
articles galore about what leadership is
you know we all kind of say the same
thing from a different angle so you can
pick your flavor whichever message
resonates most with you and yet people
don’t do it what’s the hang-up and so I
get this question a lot which is what do
you know what are the most important
characteristics about being a leader you
know vision charisma you know
I know some spectacular leaders who
don’t have big Steve Jobs Ian’s visions
they’re just not visionary you know and
I know some spectacular leaders who
really don’t have a lot of charisma they
kind of just shuffle around and you’re
like that’s the guy that’s the guy right
and they’re spectacular and people will
give blood sweat and tears for these
people the one thing I am comfortable
saying that all effective leaders must
have is courage because it is hard it is
hard to stand up against outside
pressure it is hard to stand up to an
external constituency who’s pushing you
to do something for their short-term
gain to do the right thing for your
people it is hard it is thankless
it is lonely it sometimes sometimes you
get fired sometimes you get in trouble
sometimes you’ll lose your job and the
next guy will get all the credit it’s
all true and the courage to do the right
thing in the face of overwhelming
pressure only the best leaders have that
courage only the best leaders and here’s
the folly courage is not some deep
internal fortitude you don’t dig down
deep and find the courage right it just
doesn’t exist
courage is external our courage comes
from the support we feel from others in
other words when someone when you feel
that someone has your back when you you
know that the day that you admit you
can’t do it someone will be there and
say I got you you can do this that’s
what gives you the courage to do the
difficult thing it’s not going off to an
ashram by yourself somewhere for four
weeks and coming back and finding the
car it’s not what happens it’s the
relationships that we foster it’s the
people around us who love us and care
about us and believe in us and when we
have those relationships we will find
the courage to do the right thing and
when you act with courage that in turn
will inspire those in your organization
to also act with courage in other words
it’s still an external thing that’s what
inspiration is right I’m inspired to
follow your example but those
relationships that we
stur over the course of a lifetime will
not only make us into the leaders we
need to be in and hope we can be but
they’ll often save your life they’ll
save you from depression they’ll save
you from giving up they’ll save you from
any matter of you know negative feelings
about your own capabilities your own
future when someone just says I love you
and I will follow you no matter what
being vulnerable doesn’t mean crying
being vulnerable means willing to admit
you made a mistake being vulnerable is
the willingness to say I need help being
vulnerable is the willingness to express
the feelings you have towards someone
without fear of what other people may
think of you by making that expression
and most people especially if they don’t
have a trusting environment or a strong
corporate culture most people don’t want
to feel vulnerable
it’s dangerous to feel vulnerable if you
admit you made a mistake but you don’t
know what you’re doing you’ve been
promoted into a job that you have no
clue or no business being in that job
lying hiding and faking is a much better
option right but for the fact that it’s
more stressful and ultimately the
results will falter right it’s it’s
counterintuitive but that’s what that’s
what a strong environment means it means
I can be vulnerable so the fact that you
can say that out loud
means that there’s a loving trusting
culture here that is okay with you being
vulnerable nobody’s thinking oh my god
this company’s going downhill this guy’s
nuts he’s you know he’s blubbering all
over the place you know that’s not what
people are think I mean some people are
probably thinking but generally that’s
not what people are thinking if anything
people are going cool and that then
inspires them
feel that they can also express
vulnerability like admitted mistake like
say they screwed up like say they need
help but say you know they want to offer
help to someone not fear that either so
that’s that’s one perspective the other
the other reason why stuff that I talk
about or that you’re talking about now
it’s so often ignored is just cuz it’s
hard to measure you know how do you
measure leadership how do you measure
gonna be one of my question how do you
measure how do you measure Trust you
know they lack good metrics it’s very
easy to measure revenues and profits and
market share so let’s focus on those
things because I can I can like pull a
lever here and see what happens over
there
right but in terms of like trust I’ll
pull it leave it here and I won’t see
anything for six months so it’s not that
I don’t know that it exists
everybody talks about the importance of
culture it nobody seems to be focused on
building it I’ve never met a CEO in my
in my life who doesn’t think people are
important and yet every day they’re
making decisions that prioritize a
number over a person that literally
don’t care about people they make
decisions that literally brush people
aside because it’s hard to measure in an
ultra speedy you know algorithmic world
that we live in what gets measured gets
done these things are measurable just
metrics are fine the metrics are fine
they’re just not in the short-term and
they’re just not fixed entirely so for
example do you love your wife yes right
prove it like what’s the metric give me
the number
that helps me know right because when
you met her you didn’t love her right
now you love her right tell me the day
the love happened it’s an impossible
question right but it’s not that it
doesn’t exist it’s that it’s much easier
to prove overtime right
so all leadership is the same thing it’s
about transitions so if you were to if
you were to go to the gym right it’s
like exercise right if you go to the gym
and you work out and you come back and
you look in the mirror you will see
nothing and if you go to the gym the
next day and you come back and you look
so clearly there’s no results can’t be
measured it must not be effective so we
quit right or if you fundamentally
believe that this is the right course of
action and you stick with it like in a
relationship
I bought her flowers and I wished her a
happy birthday and she doesn’t let me
clearly I’ll give up you know that’s not
what happens if you if you believe
there’s something there you commit
yourself to act an act of service you
commit yourself to the regime the
exercise you couldn’t screw it up you
can eat chocolate cake one day you can
skip a skip a day or two you know it
allows for that but if you stick with it
consistently I’m not exactly sure what
day but I know you’ll start getting into
shape I know it and the same with the
relationship it’s not about the events
it’s not about intensity it’s about
consistency right you go to the dentist
twice a year your teeth will fall out
you have to brush your teeth every day
for two minutes what is brushing your
day twice a day for two minutes do
nothing unless you do it every day twice
a day for two minutes right it’s the
consistency going to the gym for nine
hours does not get you into shape
working out every day for 20 minutes
gets you into shape so the problem is we
treat leadership with intensity we have
a two-day off-site we would invite a
bunch of speakers we give everybody
certificate you’re a leader right those
things are like going to the dentist
they’re very important that good for
reminding us or getting us back on track
learning new lessons but it’s the daily
practice of all the monotonous little
boring things like brushing your teeth
that matter the most she didn’t fall in
love with you because you remembered her
birthday and bought her flowers in
Valentine’s Day she fell in love with
you because when you woke up in the
morning you said good morning to her
before you checked your phone she fell
in love with you because when you went
to the fridge to get yourself a drink
you got her one without even asking she
fell in love with you because when you
had an amazing day at work and she came
home and she had a terrible day at work
you didn’t say yeah yeah yeah but let me
tell you about my day you sat and
listened to her awful day and you didn’t
say a thing about your amazing day this
is why she fell in love with you I can’t
tell you exactly what day and it was no
specular thing you did it was the
accumulation of all of those little
things that she woke up one days and
this as if she pressed a button she go
I love him right leadership is exactly
the same there’s no event there’s no
thing I can tell you you have to do that
your people will trust you it just
doesn’t work that way it’s then it’s an
accumulation of lots and lots of little
things that anyone by themselves is
innocuous and useless literally
pointless by themselves people will look
at little things that are good
leadership practice and say that won’t
work and you’re absolutely right but if
you do it consistently and you do it in
combination with lots of other little
things like saying good morning to
someone that looking in the eye my
friend George who’s a three-star general
in the Marine Corps
he says his test for leadership and I
love this because his tests really a
good leaders if you ask somebody how
their day is going you actually care
about the answer and the number of times
were walking to a meeting we’re rushing
we go how are you not good I gotta get
to you later I got him late for a
meeting if you ask the question you were
standing there and you’re listening to
the answer it’s those little innocuous
things that you do over and over and
over and over that people will say I
love my job not I like my job I like my
job means yeah the challenge is great
they pay me well I like the people I
love my job means I don’t want to work
anywhere else I don’t care how much
somebody else was willing to pay me I’m
devoted to the people here that I cared
desperately about the people here as if
they were my family
in business we have colleagues and
co-workers in the military they have
brothers and sisters that’s how they
think of each other right if you really
have a strong corporate culture the
people will think of each other like
brothers and sisters like a family right
no brothers and sisters deep love fight
but the love doesn’t go away right
bicker the love doesn’t go away and I’ll
fight with my sister but if you threaten
my sister you’re gonna have to deal with
me right right we’ll fight internally
we’ll bicker with each other but
nobody’s gonna hurt each other and if
anything from the outside shows up you
got it you’re looking at a unified front
brothers and sisters now how do you
create brothers and sisters out of
strangers common beliefs common values
you know parents in other words
executives who care about their
children’s success who care to raise
their children teach them skills
discipline them when necessary help them
build their self-confidence so that they
couldn’t go on and achieve something
more than you could have ever imagined
achieving for yourself that’s leadership
an absolute love and devotion for the
people who’ve committed their lives to this enterprise
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