instead of saying sorry try saying thank
you we need to stop using weak language
do you know you can talk yourself into
trouble rise and shine it’s an espresso
time what’s up believe nation it’s Evan
I believe in you and this channel is
designed to be a part of your daily
success routine so let’s start your day
off right together grab your coffee
unzip on today’s message be mindful of
how you speak over you Mel Robbins also
if you want to know what Mel Robbins and
other successful entrepreneurs have to
say about building unstoppable
confidence check out my 250 for
confidence series where every day for
the next 254 days I will send you a
morning video for free to help you build
your confidence to link to join is in
the description below everybody’s
problem comes down to one pattern your
repeating that you can’t see when you
set goals when you have an intention on
something that you want to change about
your life your brain helps you and if
you’re somebody that’s watching this and
you have no clue what you want I’m gonna
I can’t remember where who I learned
this from but I was recently somebody
else said oh well you know instead of
saying sorry try saying thank you
so when you run into a meeting in your
late oh sorry I’m late or to a call say
thank you for your patience and that one
line has changed everything for me and
what I’ve come to realize is that when I
say I’m sorry it’s all about me and I’m
making myself wrong and when I say thank
you I’m actually acknowledging the other
people around me and you can find that
you can substitute that line in almost
every instance and I was very surprised
by how often without even thinking about
it I was saying sorry I was telling
everybody the story that even yesterday
I was in a yoga class and somebody fell
over on the you know and kind of hit me
and I’m like oh I’m sorry what you know
I just like I could have said are you
okay instead of I’m sorry the other
thing I use so much qualifying language
when I speak and I never knew it until I
was on CNN and then you have the
horrifying experience of having to watch
yourself on video I had no idea how
often I said I think or actually or you
know like all of these qualifiers CB
yeah it takes the precision and the
force out of your language and the way
that you speak and I had no idea how
often I was being equivocal you have the
power to control your world how you
think how you act your mindset with the
words that you speak when you use weak
language you signal to yourself that you
are weak you signal to yourself that
your goals aren’t important you signal
to yourself that you are not worth it
you lose respect for yourself and the
people around you don’t respect you
either we need to stop using weak
language and pay attention to the words
that you’re speaking to others and to
yourself now this is not an easy task
because most of the words that you’re
using the way that you talk to others
into yourself you’re on autopilot you’re
on cruise control
it just happens you’ve been doing this
for years or decades and so switching it
is not going to happen overnight but if
you pay attention to the next three
things that I’m gonna share with you it
can have a dramatic impact on your
self-confidence and the goals that you
have for yourself and on the outcomes
you create for yourself in the world
let’s do it number one I can’t I’m not I
don’t what you say after those three
things shaped your identity it speaks to
how you think and speak about yourself
so I can’t I can’t be an entrepreneur I
can’t be a leader I can’t be a youtuber
I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t
especially this one when you say I can’t
pay very very very very very very close
attention to what follows and try and
try and try to shift it from I can’t to
either I choose not to or I can’t yet
I’m not I’m not a good salesperson I’m
not funny I’m not the kind of person who
follows through again pay close
attention and try to shift it to nothing
yet
I don’t I don’t program I don’t know how
to make money I don’t think like that
switch I don’t do I don’t yet I can’t
I’m not I don’t those statements are
final those statements don’t allow for
growth those statements are how you feel
about yourself and don’t allow for the
stretch they don’t allow you to get
better and so either eliminate them from
your vocabulary or change them to yet
number two is catch your cruise control
the way that you have been speaking
about yourself the way that you have
been talking to yourself has been
happening using the same words for years
maybe even decades it’s so automatic for
you you are on cruise control you’re on
autopilot you think small and talk
negatively about yourself without even
thinking about it you need to catch your
cruise control and listen don’t be too
hard on yourself this is so ingrained
these patterns have been around for so
long you are just Auto defaulting to
cruise control that most of these times
you will not even catch it you will not
catch 99% of these moments of these
words of these languages that you’re
using for yourself but if you have the
awareness if they have the intention if
you have the desire every now and then
you will catch it another quick hack is
to enlist a friend and list the people
around you your wife your husband your
team your kids kids especially my son
Hayden loves calling me out on things
enlist their help
tell them this is where I want to play a
bigger game this is where I’m frustrated
with myself this is where I keep talking
badly about myself and putting myself
down these are the words the language
that I need to change and every time you
hear me talking this way I need you to
bring it to my awareness and let me know
because I want to catch my cruise
control for me personally it’s around
complaining any time I complain I want
my wife I want my team I want my son I
want the people around me to say Evan
you are complaining right there that was
a complaint eat it right I’m happy for
them to hug me with it to yell at me
with it I just want them to let me know
now when I told everybody they said
listen you barely complained you liked
the least complaining person that we
know awesome thank you I’m humbled but I
still complain and I probably complain a
lot and a lot of the times I’m missing
it and so please please please please
please please please even if you think
I’m great at it if you catch me
complaining I want you to call me out on
it so enlisting your friends can be
really helpful because you will likely
not catch most of them yourself but it’s
imperative that you start working on
catching your cruise control step number
three is manual override you have caught
your cruise control you have found the
autopilot it’s about to happen again
this negative talk that you’re about to
speak out into the world about yourself
or your ideas you putting yourself down
is about to come out again or has just
come out what do you do about it because
this is really important if you catch
yourself playing smaller talking
negatively about yourself if you catch
it and you don’t do anything it actually
makes it worse
it’s better that you don’t even catch it
at all if you catch it and you recognize
I am playing small right now and you
ignore it and you don’t change your
behavior you are building that identity
for yourself that you are somebody who
is playing small you are consciously
building that identity for yourself and
you need to stop it it makes it worse
where when you do catch it when you find
yourself fall into those patterns those
behaviors that you don’t want anymore
whether you find it yourself or
somebody’s calling you out on it what do
you do you need to kick your manual
override into action and take the action
that you want coz that starts building
the
have habit that starts building the
positive respect this is how you build
respect for yourself this is how you
start building the muscle this isn’t
just a zero-sum game this isn’t just we
go back to neutral when you catch it you
either go sliding down or you go
propelling up the choice is yours when
you catch yourself playing small when
you catch yourself coming out for cruise
control you have to do the thing that
builds the self-respect up and speak
positively about yourself and do the
thing that you are scared to do now is a
quick little bonus tip I like to catch
it in other people as well there are
some key phrases that when people say it
triggers me into calling somebody else
out on it in a really friendly way but
makes them think and so one of them for
me is when people sign off and say take
it easy when I’ve had a great
conversation with somebody or meeting
them one-on-one and we leave they say
take it easy I always stop maybe I’m
heading out the door remember with the
hang up the phone or I don’t use a phone
but on the computer I’m about to hang up
there both to get into their car or I’m
about to leave I stop I stop and I come
back in and they say never tell me to
take it easy
I get the intention the intention is is
good they’re just throwing words out
there the intention is good but what are
they saying I don’t want to take it easy
even if it means relaxing even if it
means I’m gonna go on vacation I’m gonna
have a great weekend I don’t want to
take it easy I want to have the best
weekend of my life I want to have the
best vacation of my life don’t tell me
to take it easy and so when I call
somebody out on it it forces them to not
only examine that one sentence it forces
them to examine the other words that
they’re just throwing out there and if I
do it enough for people the next time
they tells somebody else to take it easy
at the end they catch themselves too
because those are not the words that
they want to use if you sat down at the
end of a conversation say these are the
final words that I’m gonna tell somebody
before they go on with their day what do
I want those words to be it makes you
think cuz I probably won’t be take it
easy
now I’ve got a really special bonus clip
that I think you’re gonna enjoy but
before that it’s time for the question
of the day I want to know what is the
one phrase or self-talk that you need to
be more mindful of leave your answer in
let’s clean up our mouths how we say
what we say and who we say it to do you
know you can talk yourself into trouble
a lot easier than you can talk yourself
out of it but if you become mindful
about what you’re speaking it’ll be a
lot easier to handle some of the things
that come up in your life with speaking
years and years and years ago I learned
a secret I used to open my pocketbook my
purse I’d get right down over and I’d
say fill yourself with divine substance
right now are you look at all that
named everything and I speak to
everything my car got a name I say
Gracie how you doing this morning come
on we going traveling my house got a
name Villanova the big vision a mindful
of my mouth because I know that what
comes out of my mouth must be created
everything begins with a word so we even
want to stop speaking about how horrible
our children are doing or how bad people
are doing or how bad things in here what
his affirmation oh my I can hardly wait
to see the good that’s gonna come out of
this no matter what it is as opposed to
you ain’t using our power to continue to
affirm what’s wrong what’s broke one
ain’t working what’s not happening how
horrible it is let’s speak life into
things let’s speak life into our
children let’s speak life into our
families into our relationships I can’t
tell you the number of people who write
me and say I need you to help me with my
I don’t even know that kind of crazy you
got over there this is just what I’d be
thinking and I blessed my head so that
that thought will go away but what if we
started saying WOW I know it looks like
booboo my cousin is having difficulty
right now but I see a brighter day for
you
it’s what Emma Fox called gold peeing
where you key something up with the
radiant richness of what you wanted to
be as opposed to a firmament as it is
right now as it is right now so we want
to clean up our mouths and what we say
about each other if you had to think of
one word that’s most important to you or
that sums you up or that would be kind
of like a little beacon if you guys want
more Mel Robbins check out the video we
did on the five hacks to transform your
life the link is right there next to me
I think you’ll enjoy continue to believe
and I’ll see you there my name is very simple completed today and no
you we need to stop using weak language
do you know you can talk yourself into
trouble rise and shine it’s an espresso
time what’s up believe nation it’s Evan
I believe in you and this channel is
designed to be a part of your daily
success routine so let’s start your day
off right together grab your coffee
unzip on today’s message be mindful of
how you speak over you Mel Robbins also
if you want to know what Mel Robbins and
other successful entrepreneurs have to
say about building unstoppable
confidence check out my 250 for
confidence series where every day for
the next 254 days I will send you a
morning video for free to help you build
your confidence to link to join is in
the description below everybody’s
problem comes down to one pattern your
repeating that you can’t see when you
set goals when you have an intention on
something that you want to change about
your life your brain helps you and if
you’re somebody that’s watching this and
you have no clue what you want I’m gonna
I can’t remember where who I learned
this from but I was recently somebody
else said oh well you know instead of
saying sorry try saying thank you
so when you run into a meeting in your
late oh sorry I’m late or to a call say
thank you for your patience and that one
line has changed everything for me and
what I’ve come to realize is that when I
say I’m sorry it’s all about me and I’m
making myself wrong and when I say thank
you I’m actually acknowledging the other
people around me and you can find that
you can substitute that line in almost
every instance and I was very surprised
by how often without even thinking about
it I was saying sorry I was telling
everybody the story that even yesterday
I was in a yoga class and somebody fell
over on the you know and kind of hit me
and I’m like oh I’m sorry what you know
I just like I could have said are you
okay instead of I’m sorry the other
thing I use so much qualifying language
when I speak and I never knew it until I
was on CNN and then you have the
horrifying experience of having to watch
yourself on video I had no idea how
often I said I think or actually or you
know like all of these qualifiers CB
yeah it takes the precision and the
force out of your language and the way
that you speak and I had no idea how
often I was being equivocal you have the
power to control your world how you
think how you act your mindset with the
words that you speak when you use weak
language you signal to yourself that you
are weak you signal to yourself that
your goals aren’t important you signal
to yourself that you are not worth it
you lose respect for yourself and the
people around you don’t respect you
either we need to stop using weak
language and pay attention to the words
that you’re speaking to others and to
yourself now this is not an easy task
because most of the words that you’re
using the way that you talk to others
into yourself you’re on autopilot you’re
on cruise control
it just happens you’ve been doing this
for years or decades and so switching it
is not going to happen overnight but if
you pay attention to the next three
things that I’m gonna share with you it
can have a dramatic impact on your
self-confidence and the goals that you
have for yourself and on the outcomes
you create for yourself in the world
let’s do it number one I can’t I’m not I
don’t what you say after those three
things shaped your identity it speaks to
how you think and speak about yourself
so I can’t I can’t be an entrepreneur I
can’t be a leader I can’t be a youtuber
I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t
especially this one when you say I can’t
pay very very very very very very close
attention to what follows and try and
try and try to shift it from I can’t to
either I choose not to or I can’t yet
I’m not I’m not a good salesperson I’m
not funny I’m not the kind of person who
follows through again pay close
attention and try to shift it to nothing
yet
I don’t I don’t program I don’t know how
to make money I don’t think like that
switch I don’t do I don’t yet I can’t
I’m not I don’t those statements are
final those statements don’t allow for
growth those statements are how you feel
about yourself and don’t allow for the
stretch they don’t allow you to get
better and so either eliminate them from
your vocabulary or change them to yet
number two is catch your cruise control
the way that you have been speaking
about yourself the way that you have
been talking to yourself has been
happening using the same words for years
maybe even decades it’s so automatic for
you you are on cruise control you’re on
autopilot you think small and talk
negatively about yourself without even
thinking about it you need to catch your
cruise control and listen don’t be too
hard on yourself this is so ingrained
these patterns have been around for so
long you are just Auto defaulting to
cruise control that most of these times
you will not even catch it you will not
catch 99% of these moments of these
words of these languages that you’re
using for yourself but if you have the
awareness if they have the intention if
you have the desire every now and then
you will catch it another quick hack is
to enlist a friend and list the people
around you your wife your husband your
team your kids kids especially my son
Hayden loves calling me out on things
enlist their help
tell them this is where I want to play a
bigger game this is where I’m frustrated
with myself this is where I keep talking
badly about myself and putting myself
down these are the words the language
that I need to change and every time you
hear me talking this way I need you to
bring it to my awareness and let me know
because I want to catch my cruise
control for me personally it’s around
complaining any time I complain I want
my wife I want my team I want my son I
want the people around me to say Evan
you are complaining right there that was
a complaint eat it right I’m happy for
them to hug me with it to yell at me
with it I just want them to let me know
now when I told everybody they said
listen you barely complained you liked
the least complaining person that we
know awesome thank you I’m humbled but I
still complain and I probably complain a
lot and a lot of the times I’m missing
it and so please please please please
please please please even if you think
I’m great at it if you catch me
complaining I want you to call me out on
it so enlisting your friends can be
really helpful because you will likely
not catch most of them yourself but it’s
imperative that you start working on
catching your cruise control step number
three is manual override you have caught
your cruise control you have found the
autopilot it’s about to happen again
this negative talk that you’re about to
speak out into the world about yourself
or your ideas you putting yourself down
is about to come out again or has just
come out what do you do about it because
this is really important if you catch
yourself playing smaller talking
negatively about yourself if you catch
it and you don’t do anything it actually
makes it worse
it’s better that you don’t even catch it
at all if you catch it and you recognize
I am playing small right now and you
ignore it and you don’t change your
behavior you are building that identity
for yourself that you are somebody who
is playing small you are consciously
building that identity for yourself and
you need to stop it it makes it worse
where when you do catch it when you find
yourself fall into those patterns those
behaviors that you don’t want anymore
whether you find it yourself or
somebody’s calling you out on it what do
you do you need to kick your manual
override into action and take the action
that you want coz that starts building
the
have habit that starts building the
positive respect this is how you build
respect for yourself this is how you
start building the muscle this isn’t
just a zero-sum game this isn’t just we
go back to neutral when you catch it you
either go sliding down or you go
propelling up the choice is yours when
you catch yourself playing small when
you catch yourself coming out for cruise
control you have to do the thing that
builds the self-respect up and speak
positively about yourself and do the
thing that you are scared to do now is a
quick little bonus tip I like to catch
it in other people as well there are
some key phrases that when people say it
triggers me into calling somebody else
out on it in a really friendly way but
makes them think and so one of them for
me is when people sign off and say take
it easy when I’ve had a great
conversation with somebody or meeting
them one-on-one and we leave they say
take it easy I always stop maybe I’m
heading out the door remember with the
hang up the phone or I don’t use a phone
but on the computer I’m about to hang up
there both to get into their car or I’m
about to leave I stop I stop and I come
back in and they say never tell me to
take it easy
I get the intention the intention is is
good they’re just throwing words out
there the intention is good but what are
they saying I don’t want to take it easy
even if it means relaxing even if it
means I’m gonna go on vacation I’m gonna
have a great weekend I don’t want to
take it easy I want to have the best
weekend of my life I want to have the
best vacation of my life don’t tell me
to take it easy and so when I call
somebody out on it it forces them to not
only examine that one sentence it forces
them to examine the other words that
they’re just throwing out there and if I
do it enough for people the next time
they tells somebody else to take it easy
at the end they catch themselves too
because those are not the words that
they want to use if you sat down at the
end of a conversation say these are the
final words that I’m gonna tell somebody
before they go on with their day what do
I want those words to be it makes you
think cuz I probably won’t be take it
easy
now I’ve got a really special bonus clip
that I think you’re gonna enjoy but
before that it’s time for the question
of the day I want to know what is the
one phrase or self-talk that you need to
be more mindful of leave your answer in
let’s clean up our mouths how we say
what we say and who we say it to do you
know you can talk yourself into trouble
a lot easier than you can talk yourself
out of it but if you become mindful
about what you’re speaking it’ll be a
lot easier to handle some of the things
that come up in your life with speaking
years and years and years ago I learned
a secret I used to open my pocketbook my
purse I’d get right down over and I’d
say fill yourself with divine substance
right now are you look at all that
named everything and I speak to
everything my car got a name I say
Gracie how you doing this morning come
on we going traveling my house got a
name Villanova the big vision a mindful
of my mouth because I know that what
comes out of my mouth must be created
everything begins with a word so we even
want to stop speaking about how horrible
our children are doing or how bad people
are doing or how bad things in here what
his affirmation oh my I can hardly wait
to see the good that’s gonna come out of
this no matter what it is as opposed to
you ain’t using our power to continue to
affirm what’s wrong what’s broke one
ain’t working what’s not happening how
horrible it is let’s speak life into
things let’s speak life into our
children let’s speak life into our
families into our relationships I can’t
tell you the number of people who write
me and say I need you to help me with my
I don’t even know that kind of crazy you
got over there this is just what I’d be
thinking and I blessed my head so that
that thought will go away but what if we
started saying WOW I know it looks like
booboo my cousin is having difficulty
right now but I see a brighter day for
you
it’s what Emma Fox called gold peeing
where you key something up with the
radiant richness of what you wanted to
be as opposed to a firmament as it is
right now as it is right now so we want
to clean up our mouths and what we say
about each other if you had to think of
one word that’s most important to you or
that sums you up or that would be kind
of like a little beacon if you guys want
more Mel Robbins check out the video we
did on the five hacks to transform your
life the link is right there next to me
I think you’ll enjoy continue to believe
and I’ll see you there my name is very simple completed today and no
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