2015 was the most challenging year of my
guys in March of that year I stopped
drinking alcohol and then eight months
later I was diagnosed with breast cancer
I told everybody about the cancer I told
my hairdresser and the poor woman it
only asked me where I was going on
holiday that year
I told traffic wardens because it’s a
great way to get off a parking ticket
and I told all the mums at the school
gate but when I stopped drinking I told
no one and I told no one because I was
ashamed and in a world where everyone
drinks I felt alone in being unable to
control alcohol and I was worried about
what people would think I thought that
if I confess to having a problem they
would assume that I was pouring vodka on
my cornflakes in the morning and that I
was a bad mother
people immediately leaped the
stereotypes of dramatic rock bottom’s
drunk driving and one-night stands my
drinking story my drinking story was not
like that there was no dramatic rock
bottom there was more a sort of gradual
realization that my best friend
white wine had somehow morphed into my
worst enemy I was trapped in an abusive
relationship with booze I was two stone
overweight I wasn’t terribly insomniac I
was anxious all the time and I was stuck
in a rut and I knew that the fact that I
was drinking a bottle of wine a day
sometimes more at weekends was to blame
I know now that I’m not alone in the UK
its well-educated middle-aged women who
are most likely to have a drink problem
not the world hedonistic youth an OECD
study concluded that one in five female
graduates in the UK drink hazardously
that’s defined it more than twice the
recommended level so after several
months of trying to drink more sensibly
I finally and I have to admit
reluctantly concluded that moderation
was never going to be my forte and I
quit altogether and I quickly realized
how deeply ingrained the stigma of
alcohol addiction is in society
and how different the alcohol is treated
from any other drug so who here has quit
smoking in the past yeah me too and you
might remember that when you quit
smoking the conversation goes something
like this
cigarette No thank you I’ve quit oh wow
well done you what willpower you should
be proud of yourself I bet you feel
amazing it’s not like that when you give
up drinking it goes more like this drink
no thanks I’ve quit silence then they go
did you have a problem are you an
alcoholic and oh go on don’t be a bore
just have one that won’t do you any harm
I hope you don’t expect me not to drink
because I can handle it
you see when you become addicted to
cigarettes people blame the nicotine but
when you become addicted to drinking
they blame you because nobody wants to
blame the nation’s favorite drug and no
one wants to think that their own
drinking have it might be a problem so
alcohol is the only drug that you have
to justify not taking and that means
that we the non drinkers are made to
feel ashamed and that makes quitting so
much harder at this point you might be
thinking that this comparison is unfair
and the alcohol is way less harmful than
nicotine or any other drug but that’s
where you’re wrong the 2010 nut report
into the relative harms of different
drugs on the individual when the alcohol
was the fourth most harmful drug tested
after crack cocaine heroin and crystal
meth and when you combine the harm with
the individual to the hunt with a harm
to society then alcohol is by far and
away the most dangerous drug available
nicotine comes in at number six a study
by the American Society of Clinical
Oncology found that alcohol was linked
to seven different types of cancer they
estimate that more than 1 in 20 cancer
deaths worldwide is caused by alcohol in
the UK alone 3200 women each year are
diagnosed with breast cancer because of
their drinking Dame Sally Davis the
chief medical officer was quoted as
saying that she thinks about her risk of
breast cancer
every time she considers pouring a glass
of wine needless to say that was not a
popular message and she was lambasted
for it
but alcohol kills more people globally
the malaria meningitis tuberculosis and
dengue fever put together of course most
people drink happily intensively and if
that’s you then I applaud you although
full disclosure I hate you a little bit
too because I was like you for many
years and then there came a day when I
realized I had stopped controlling
alcohol and it was controlling me and
there are millions of men and women like
me out there the all-or-nothing tribe
who can’t can’t play with an addictive
drug without getting their fingers burnt
and I just want to make life a little
bit easier for those superheroes who
pluck up the courage to quit by
addressing the shame and stigma around
alcohol addiction so here are three
things that we can all do to help
challenge that shame 1 we need to
remember to treat alcohol like a drug
it may be ubiquitous and the nation’s
favorite narcotic but it’s still an
addictive toxin if alcohol came on the
market today it wouldn’t be legalized
one of the things that makes it so much
harder to quit is that our Facebook
feeds are filled with jokes about wine
o’clock and mummys reward and we’re
encouraged to see alcohol is necessary
to cope with all the ups and downs of
everyday life is crucial for a
celebration or a commiseration or indeed
any form of recreation and I would get
ads on my social media for wine bangles
that’s bracelets filled with wine or
wine purses that’s hand bags of wine in
the lining and a tap on the outside and
seriously and I know that all of this
has meant in good fun but the impact of
treating an addictive drug so lightly is
that it normalizes excessive drinking
too we need to stop thinking in black
and white and the general assumption is
that the vast majority of the population
are normal drinkers who can handle their
booze and there’s a tiny tiny proportion
of alcoholics who can’t but the science
doesn’t support this the reality is far
more complex and nuanced alcohol
addiction or alcohol use disorder like
any addiction is progressive it’s a
spectrum of shades of grey now I spend
many an evening googling am I an
alcoholic and I would answer the
resulting quest
– no and it would ask questions like do
you drink alone and I would say no I’m
with my dog and inevitably I would
convince myself that I wasn’t an
alcoholic and I would pat myself on the
back and pour another glass of wine
despite knowing in my heart that it was
a problem there was no other drug that
treats its addicts like this when you
quit smoking you don’t become a nicotine
a holic you a million nonsmoker and the
fear and shame have been branded with
the badge alcoholic starts many people
like me the gray area drinkers from
seeking help before you really do reach
rock bottom which is a very difficult
place to claw your way back from
according to the NHS even the best
performing residential rehab centers
only have a 60 percent success rate and
for the worst form is it’s 20% rock
bottom is a very very dangerous place to
go 3 we need to change the words and the
imagery around going sober now I spent
20 years in advertising and building
brands that people want to be associated
with and I know if you want people to
join a club and to be proud of wearing a
badge you do not use words and imagery
like alcoholic recovery disease an
anonymous you use words an imagery like
alcohol-free clean drinker non drinker
and sober warrior we need to inspire
people to stop drinking not shame them
into it one of my favorite quotes from
The Hunger Games as President Snow who
says the only thing stronger than fear
is hope and that’s what we need to do
give people hope not shame one of my
favourite advertising case studies as
lucozade lucozade is the original energy
drink launched in 1927 to aid recovery
from illness but by the mid-1980s sales
were seriously flagging and lucozade was
relaunched as a brand not for sick
people but for energetic busy and
successful people who want to perform at
their best so the strap line went from
AIDS recovery to replace his lost energy
and a brand campaign was created
featuring Daley Thompson
the Olympic decathlete sales went
through the roof and lucozade became an
icon of the 1980s and that is what we
need to do for people going sober we
need to take it from something that you
have to do when you are sick and when
you have a disease to something that you
choose to do to live life at its to its
fullest we need to take it from AIDS
recovery to replace his lost energy
because that is what being sober does
and when we’ve done those three things
then we the newly sober can stop feeling
ashamed and stop being anonymous and I
realized I’m not one to talk here
because for three years after I stopped
drinking I stayed silent I told people
that I was driving or on on antibiotics
or that I’d given up for Lent but I had
to tell someone what I was going through
so I started a blog under a pseudonym
sober mummy and within a year despite
the fact that I didn’t publicize it at
all because I was far too embarrassed
within a year I had nearly a million
hits
I found men and women all over the world
who’d also become addicted to alcohol
who also felt ashamed and who also felt
alone until we found each other I turned
that that blog this the diary of my
first year sober into a book and for
three nights under my actual name I
didn’t sleep at all I was terrified
about exposing my vulnerability to the
world and felt a bit like the idea of
walking into a party naked which is the
sort of thing I might have done when I
was drinking but I certainly wasn’t
going to do sober however the deluge of
messages that I received since
publication have shown me that stories
really do change lives
they make people feel less alone and
they give people hope the time for
anonymity is gone we have to stop being
silent and ashamed and we have to shout
about how being sober is not miserable
or boring but it’s far more exhilarating
rewarding and reals in a life of
self-medication because the truth is
when you drink to blur all the edges of
life you blur all the good bits too and
the place to start is close to home and
so if you have a friend who quietly and
tentatively tells you that they’ve
stopped drinking then congratulate them
tell them that they are wise and brave
and extraordinary because they are and
don’t worry that they’ll be boring but
they’ll judge you and please don’t stop
inviting them to parties and finally if
this talk has made you feel a little bit
uncomfortable if you’re back where I was
then feeling sick and tired of feeling
sick and tired and asking Siri how to
stop drinking so much then why not
consider joining the sober revolution
because I can assure you three years on
booze free and cancer-free that there is
no shame in being sober only joy and
pride and freedom thank you [Applause]