I was 25 and I remember standing in
front of the bathroom mirror at home and
I was just about to make myself sick and
I had been making myself sick for 10
years and for that long I had been
ignoring the telltale signs of bulimia
red lines down my fingers and Knuckles
like road maps to my deepest
insecurities and as vividly as I
remember that moment
I also remember feeling completely and
utterly exhausted constantly thinking
about my body and how it looked what I
was going to eat how many calories it
had and when I would next exercise was a
full-time job and I was drained my body
was the enemy food and exercise where
weapons I used against her every single
day I thought making myself throw up was
my safety blanket a way for me to
pretend to the world that I was living a
normal life so no one could see just how
tormented my thoughts were around food
exercise and my body for over 10 years I
was running to the bathroom to make
myself throw up but with tears pricking
in my eyes in that moment I knew I was
about to make a decision that would
change my life forever
I felt like I was standing in the middle
of a crossroads one path would take me
further and further down the rabbit hole
or a body hate food restriction and
punishment exercise would consume me
become me and eventually be all I would
be remembered for or I could choose the
other path towards self-acceptance love
kindness and compassion and do as my mom
suggested all those years ago and
finally look at myself in the mirror and
say I love me too today we are made to
feel like loving our bodies is a
rebellious act that we are vain arrogant
conceited and full of ourselves if we
have the audacity to feel comfortable
our skin the media beauty and fashion
industry have conditioned us to fear our
bodies and to view them as flawed and as
imperfect yes the truth behind
self-acceptance would send these
industries to their knees
self-acceptance teaches us that there is
no wrong way to have a body that no body
is broken nor does it need to be fixed
or tweaked that our bodies are enough
exactly as they are yes there are women
in today’s day and age who will go to
extreme lengths to fix what they think
is broken but our bodies are not objects
the problem has never been our body we
are and always have been enough the
problem is how we think about our bodies
women will go to extreme lengths to
achieve a standard of beauty that is
forever changing they will take cream
and put it onto their face that contains
harmful ingredients they’ll take fat
from their ass and inject it into their
face they will ingest dieting pills and
laxatives without a moment’s hesitation
they will purge binge and they will make
themselves throw up they will restrict
food sark themselves and over exercise
and as a result women are suffering from
low self-esteem low body confidence low
self confidence
body dysmorphic disorder eating
disorders disordered eating the list
goes on for women who are living with
the overwhelming anxiety brought about
by body dysmorphic disorder they will go
to extreme lengths to fix what they
think is broken whilst most women who go
under the knife to pursue cosmetic
surgery will do so after measured
deliberation the fact remains that up to
20 percent of those who do go under the
knife may in fact be suffering from body
dysmorphic disorder our current reality
in Ireland is terrifying up to two
hundred thousand people
might be affected by an eating disorder
that represents 400 new cases every
single year and an estimated 80 deaths
annually out of those 200,000 people up
to 87 percent of them are women body
image or self image was identified as
the number one factor affecting the
mental health of our Irish teens one in
three of us will think about the parts
of our body that we don’t like anywhere
between one and three hours a day and up
to 40 percent of us will think about the
parts of our body that we don’t like
anywhere from three to eight hours a day
that’s a whole lot of life that’s not
getting lived because we’re so worried
about how we look I’m not gonna stand
here and pretend like I have all of the
answers but on my journey towards
self-acceptance and self-love I’ve
learned a couple of things and I want to
be able to share these things with you
guys today one of the most important
things that I’ve learned about
self-acceptance is to remember that it’s
not about trying to eliminate the parts
of our body that we don’t like its embed
and bracing the goods with the bad it’s
an unrealistic standard to set ourselves
that we must fall in love with every
atom of our being or else
self-acceptance teaches us to embrace
the good with the bad as a teenager in
my early twenties in my mid twenties and
a little bit into my late twenties I
used to hate my legs I called them my
chunky tree chunks tree stumps and I
went out of my way to keep them hidden
and covered because they didn’t look
like all of the girls legs in the
magazines but I remember one day when I
was going to a teenage disco I was
getting ready in the house I was about
15 years of age and I decided to wear a
little black dress like all of my
friends to a teenage disco and as I was
getting reading I caught a glimpse of
myself in the mirror
I couldn’t help but think how pretty I
looked I really really liked what I saw
so with gusto and pride I arrived at the
teenage disco but I immediately started
comparing myself to all of the other
girls around me my gosh they were slim
they were lean they were beautiful
they’re what beautiful girls look like
and I felt so badly at myself with every
comparison that I made so I called my
mom on the phone and I asked her to come
pick me up and as I was making my way to
the main road where my mom was parked a
boy on the other side of the carpark
looks at me and shouts love what are you
doing in a dress with those legs if only
he knew the courage it took for me to
put on a dress that day but anyway I’ve
been called fat girls have made fun of
me and boys have broken up with me
because they thought they could do
better but nothing and I mean nothing
has been more hurtful painful or
degrading as the comments that I’ve used
to describe myself my body might meet
suit my home my friend I want you to
imagine this I want you to imagine that
you’ve just passed your bathroom at home
and you caught a glimpse of your young
daughter staring at herself in the
mirror whispering the words fat ugly and
worthless she’s grabbing her little
tummy and she’s shaking her arms her
bingo wings and she’s hoping and wishing
and praying that her flaps would just
melt away so she could be pretty like
all of the other girls are you going to
go up to your young daughter poke her in
the belly shake her arms and tell her
you’re right love we should put you on a
diet today restrict your calories and
we’ll go to the gym six days a week of
course we would never say this to a
young daughter we would never say this
to anyone that we love but since when
was it okay to
say these things to ourself I remember
being about 25 years of age stared at
myself in the bathroom mirror at home
and finally finally giving myself
permission to think for myself over time
I began to challenge the assumption that
I created about my body and my legs and
I realized that I had always been
beautiful because of the wonderful
things that my body can do I can give my
young cousin a piggyback for over 500
meters I can take heavy items of the top
shelves an Ikea I can carry as many bags
in one hand as some can carry into I can
jump skip run and play and who knows
maybe one day I will be lucky enough to
grow a human inside of me the moment I
started to feel gratitude and
appreciation from my body was like an
awakening the first of many and I really
began to feel beautiful I really began
to feel my inner strength and realize
that I had always been beautiful because
of the wonderful things that my body can
do there exist this grace face between
loving our bodies and hating our bodies
the medium beauty and fashion industry
have attempted to map out this path for
us come to my gym buy my product wear
this dress but only if you have this
body type I thought all I wanted was to
love my body and I felt that making
myself throw up was the only solution
but what I see now was that I actually
wanted to fall in love with my life I
wanted to experience until livers and
the perfect body it has nothing to do
with the perfect life in a world that
profits from our insecurities loving our
bodies is a rebellious act ladies let’s
be rebels I chose to end the war there
was and there
is more to my life than my body and how
I look I chose to love my body my
friends with all of my energy and all of
my time
I chose me and you can too
ladies let’s be rebels together thank
you so much
[Applause]
front of the bathroom mirror at home and
I was just about to make myself sick and
I had been making myself sick for 10
years and for that long I had been
ignoring the telltale signs of bulimia
red lines down my fingers and Knuckles
like road maps to my deepest
insecurities and as vividly as I
remember that moment
I also remember feeling completely and
utterly exhausted constantly thinking
about my body and how it looked what I
was going to eat how many calories it
had and when I would next exercise was a
full-time job and I was drained my body
was the enemy food and exercise where
weapons I used against her every single
day I thought making myself throw up was
my safety blanket a way for me to
pretend to the world that I was living a
normal life so no one could see just how
tormented my thoughts were around food
exercise and my body for over 10 years I
was running to the bathroom to make
myself throw up but with tears pricking
in my eyes in that moment I knew I was
about to make a decision that would
change my life forever
I felt like I was standing in the middle
of a crossroads one path would take me
further and further down the rabbit hole
or a body hate food restriction and
punishment exercise would consume me
become me and eventually be all I would
be remembered for or I could choose the
other path towards self-acceptance love
kindness and compassion and do as my mom
suggested all those years ago and
finally look at myself in the mirror and
say I love me too today we are made to
feel like loving our bodies is a
rebellious act that we are vain arrogant
conceited and full of ourselves if we
have the audacity to feel comfortable
our skin the media beauty and fashion
industry have conditioned us to fear our
bodies and to view them as flawed and as
imperfect yes the truth behind
self-acceptance would send these
industries to their knees
self-acceptance teaches us that there is
no wrong way to have a body that no body
is broken nor does it need to be fixed
or tweaked that our bodies are enough
exactly as they are yes there are women
in today’s day and age who will go to
extreme lengths to fix what they think
is broken but our bodies are not objects
the problem has never been our body we
are and always have been enough the
problem is how we think about our bodies
women will go to extreme lengths to
achieve a standard of beauty that is
forever changing they will take cream
and put it onto their face that contains
harmful ingredients they’ll take fat
from their ass and inject it into their
face they will ingest dieting pills and
laxatives without a moment’s hesitation
they will purge binge and they will make
themselves throw up they will restrict
food sark themselves and over exercise
and as a result women are suffering from
low self-esteem low body confidence low
self confidence
body dysmorphic disorder eating
disorders disordered eating the list
goes on for women who are living with
the overwhelming anxiety brought about
by body dysmorphic disorder they will go
to extreme lengths to fix what they
think is broken whilst most women who go
under the knife to pursue cosmetic
surgery will do so after measured
deliberation the fact remains that up to
20 percent of those who do go under the
knife may in fact be suffering from body
dysmorphic disorder our current reality
in Ireland is terrifying up to two
hundred thousand people
might be affected by an eating disorder
that represents 400 new cases every
single year and an estimated 80 deaths
annually out of those 200,000 people up
to 87 percent of them are women body
image or self image was identified as
the number one factor affecting the
mental health of our Irish teens one in
three of us will think about the parts
of our body that we don’t like anywhere
between one and three hours a day and up
to 40 percent of us will think about the
parts of our body that we don’t like
anywhere from three to eight hours a day
that’s a whole lot of life that’s not
getting lived because we’re so worried
about how we look I’m not gonna stand
here and pretend like I have all of the
answers but on my journey towards
self-acceptance and self-love I’ve
learned a couple of things and I want to
be able to share these things with you
guys today one of the most important
things that I’ve learned about
self-acceptance is to remember that it’s
not about trying to eliminate the parts
of our body that we don’t like its embed
and bracing the goods with the bad it’s
an unrealistic standard to set ourselves
that we must fall in love with every
atom of our being or else
self-acceptance teaches us to embrace
the good with the bad as a teenager in
my early twenties in my mid twenties and
a little bit into my late twenties I
used to hate my legs I called them my
chunky tree chunks tree stumps and I
went out of my way to keep them hidden
and covered because they didn’t look
like all of the girls legs in the
magazines but I remember one day when I
was going to a teenage disco I was
getting ready in the house I was about
15 years of age and I decided to wear a
little black dress like all of my
friends to a teenage disco and as I was
getting reading I caught a glimpse of
myself in the mirror
I couldn’t help but think how pretty I
looked I really really liked what I saw
so with gusto and pride I arrived at the
teenage disco but I immediately started
comparing myself to all of the other
girls around me my gosh they were slim
they were lean they were beautiful
they’re what beautiful girls look like
and I felt so badly at myself with every
comparison that I made so I called my
mom on the phone and I asked her to come
pick me up and as I was making my way to
the main road where my mom was parked a
boy on the other side of the carpark
looks at me and shouts love what are you
doing in a dress with those legs if only
he knew the courage it took for me to
put on a dress that day but anyway I’ve
been called fat girls have made fun of
me and boys have broken up with me
because they thought they could do
better but nothing and I mean nothing
has been more hurtful painful or
degrading as the comments that I’ve used
to describe myself my body might meet
suit my home my friend I want you to
imagine this I want you to imagine that
you’ve just passed your bathroom at home
and you caught a glimpse of your young
daughter staring at herself in the
mirror whispering the words fat ugly and
worthless she’s grabbing her little
tummy and she’s shaking her arms her
bingo wings and she’s hoping and wishing
and praying that her flaps would just
melt away so she could be pretty like
all of the other girls are you going to
go up to your young daughter poke her in
the belly shake her arms and tell her
you’re right love we should put you on a
diet today restrict your calories and
we’ll go to the gym six days a week of
course we would never say this to a
young daughter we would never say this
to anyone that we love but since when
was it okay to
say these things to ourself I remember
being about 25 years of age stared at
myself in the bathroom mirror at home
and finally finally giving myself
permission to think for myself over time
I began to challenge the assumption that
I created about my body and my legs and
I realized that I had always been
beautiful because of the wonderful
things that my body can do I can give my
young cousin a piggyback for over 500
meters I can take heavy items of the top
shelves an Ikea I can carry as many bags
in one hand as some can carry into I can
jump skip run and play and who knows
maybe one day I will be lucky enough to
grow a human inside of me the moment I
started to feel gratitude and
appreciation from my body was like an
awakening the first of many and I really
began to feel beautiful I really began
to feel my inner strength and realize
that I had always been beautiful because
of the wonderful things that my body can
do there exist this grace face between
loving our bodies and hating our bodies
the medium beauty and fashion industry
have attempted to map out this path for
us come to my gym buy my product wear
this dress but only if you have this
body type I thought all I wanted was to
love my body and I felt that making
myself throw up was the only solution
but what I see now was that I actually
wanted to fall in love with my life I
wanted to experience until livers and
the perfect body it has nothing to do
with the perfect life in a world that
profits from our insecurities loving our
bodies is a rebellious act ladies let’s
be rebels I chose to end the war there
was and there
is more to my life than my body and how
I look I chose to love my body my
friends with all of my energy and all of
my time
I chose me and you can too
ladies let’s be rebels together thank
you so much
[Applause]
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