[Music]
[Applause]
hello you guys look so much less scarier
from in there I’m gonna start with
telling you guys a story so and it’s
nice and embarrassing so you’re allowed
to laugh just last Thursday I was
leaving my sociology class I put my
headphones in my head was down I was
avoiding all eye contact as I walked
across campus the introverts in the room
will know where I’m coming from and in
my antisocial haste I walked full force
into a very stationary very unmoving
yield sign I smacked right into it and
don’t worry it was daylight out so
literally everybody saw uh and some of
you may see this unfortunate incident as
just another millennial absorbed in her
technology so much so that she becomes a
mortifying sidewalk spectacle what you
guys don’t know is that I had just been
tagged in a meme now to some of you that
means absolutely nothing how many of you
know what a meme is okay so for those of
you aren’t quite sure what the kids are
up to these days this is what I was
tagged in at 12:34 p.m.
a meme such as this one generally takes
a funny image facial expression
pop-culture reference and adds text or
quote to it and generally refers to
experiences that we all have we don’t
really talk about because they’re
embarrassing or taboo and so we revert
to the online world to recognize the
hilarity of these experiences and on
that fateful afternoon with my imminent
graduation looming and the encroaching
fear of the real world impending my
feelings were most aptly captured with
this young baseball player meeting the
field with his face means are everywhere
all over social media sites liked by
friends and strangers alike and are
often characterized is just another way
for us to disconnect and as Millennials
are often chastised for our online
worlds understandably so I sometimes get
annoyed with my own peers who can’t seem
to put their phones down but what if we
looked at these things in a new way what
about them is so captivating what has
drawn an entire generation toward it
seems to be just an idiosyncratic
internet phenomenon I’d argue that the
importance of these memes come from
their universality and their ability to
touch on experiences and feelings we all
have we don’t talk about because society
has deemed them shameful oftentimes the
social media role is all about
presenting our best selves avoiding
anything imperfect flawed or human in an
effort to look our best and that’s
what’s great about memes they allow you
to call upon experience as we all have
but we don’t talk about because Society
has deemed them shameful and one of
these topics is mental illness believe
it or not particularly anxiety and
depression even if you have no personal
experience with mental illness you know
someone who does and you may not even
know it at least 25% of the US
population will struggle with a mental
illness at some point in their lives
that’s one in four so take a look to
your left to your right behind you and
right in front of you on this stage I’ve
struggled with major depressive disorder
since I was 16 years old and like so
many others have not only had to
confront the challenges of having a
mental illness but the stigma that comes
with it and the stigma that breeds a
feeling of being crazy and that if I
were to just think a little bit more
positively then it’ll go away as soon
becomes in a lot of different forms it
can come from the media it can come from
everyday interactions when I was 17 I
decided to open up to somebody about my
mental health challenge it was the first
person outside of my family and at the
time I felt so deeply sad despite my
year in therapy I felt as though these
feelings were never gonna go away
and nothing was gonna get better but to
everybody else I was doing great I was
better than great I was getting all A’s
in my classes I was the yearbook editor
I was on track to go to a great college
and I had friends and family who truly
loved and cared about me but my mind was
stuck in a thick fog unable to
internalize these external successes and
privileges and the best way I can
describe it to you is that it felt as
though I was in a hole where I could see
everyone but no one could really see me
and in an effort to get better I’d read
that it was important to talk about so I
decided to share and after sharing with
them they responded well you don’t look
sad you’re not crazy and while I
recognize this was meant to be a
compliment it really only perpetuated
the idea that health is only valid and
real if we see it with our naked eye and
even after trying to convince them of
the realness of my illness by telling
them I was seeking a professional help
they’ve rode their brow and said well
then why don’t you feel better as much
as I love to it’s not how it works
because in the same way that an athlete
has to go to practice each day to get
better I have to go to therapy and work
to get better in the same way that an
athlete gets injured I experience
setbacks in my own mental health
training therapy will not fix me no more
than a few practices will make an elite
athlete and after this interaction I
withdrew fearful that divulging any more
of my feelings or thoughts would indeed
convince them that I was crazy and
within this retreat it is a perfect
example of how stigma can be the nexus
between choosing to get help or choosing
to remain alone and it comes from the
lack of understanding
that the sadness that comes from
depression is deep it’s complex and it’s
unique to each person experience it
experiencing it and within this retreat
I had to find other ways to cope with
the stigma I was beginning to
internalize and I found comedy believe
it or not and the different types and
tastes and mediums of comedy I used to
cope with my depression over the last
six years has evolved and changed but
was most important was the laughter
because laughter allowed to cut moments
of intense negativity and remind me that
joy and happiness is achievable even in
the darkest of places and in the darkest
moments and additionally it allowed me
to even laugh at the absurdity of how my
depression manifested itself taking away
from the power of the Goblin that held
on to my mind and that’s because even
Neville couldn’t be scared when Snape
was wearing his grandmother’s clothes so
what is it about laughter about humor
that allows us to address our most of
the sural fears or the darkest parts of
ourselves I’d argue that laughter and by
extension comedy makes us feel safe and
why does it make us feel safe because it
makes us feel understood when you laugh
with someone there’s an understanding
that is transcends any sort of
conversation in your and developed a
sense of empathy and warmth that you
really can’t experience anywhere else
and that is the exact opposite of what
it’s like to be depressed it’s an
intense feeling of isolation and the
belief that no one understands you and
no one believes me and as such no one
cares about me and then you don’t care
about yourself and humor help shatter
this fallacy for me by showing me that
the people I laugh with things that I
laugh at matter and the people who want
to laugh with me care about me not laugh
at me I mean there’s sometimes the same
thing but
and humor and memes go hand in hand they
were designed with the sole purpose of
making us laugh and to be shared with
the people around us without knowing yet
we’ve created we’ve designed creative
outlets to begin addressing issues that
are all part of the human experience but
are just not something that we like to
talk about
additionally don’t worry only everyone’s
looking at you so what about them is
such an integral part of our lives
especially as young people so let me ask
you when someone tags you in a meme
sends you a picture that makes you smile
or an article that piques your curiosity
what does that say to you to me it says
I thought of you I want you to know that
and this connection is important to me
because you’re important to me and means
allow us to connect on a variety of
different tastes interests and topics
they could apply to your cinematic
tastes
your political propensity x’ those days
weeks months or lifetimes when you feel
overwhelmed
and lastly when you’re on deck to give
your TEDx talk and based on the laughter
in the room my evil plan has worked and
you can all see that we can connect to
each one of these memes in some way and
we can all relate to each other maybe
you found one funnier than the other and
that’s okay cuz we’re all different but
we all laugh together and there’s a
closeness that comes from that laughter
and a sense of community and in the same
way that one of you may have found a dog
in a burning room funnier than mr.
Potatohead yelling expletives oftentimes
the memes that make me laugh apply to my
depression a good friend of mine also
struggles with anxiety and depression
and often times our text threads are a
series of memes sent back and forth back
and forth no text necessary no
explanation required most recently she
sent me this
I have been struggling with my
depression lately and feeling quite
anxious and nervous with the prospect
and privilege of speaking with you all
here today and she knew that
and the way she let me know that she’s
thinking of me and that she understands
me and that she’s there for me is by
sending this it’s an implicit means of
support and acceptance of my mental
illness is something that’s real but
also something that I can laugh about
not laugh at but laugh about and it also
opens a doorway of conversation because
I establish a connection with somebody
else and that person says you matter to
me and I’m here for you and we can talk
about it if you want to and I feel most
validated because this is how my brain
actually works and that’s where the
hilarity of this meme comes from each
day I’m confronted with my rationality
and my anxiety and depression in this
ironic car crash and it’s kind of funny
and being able to laugh at it does not
lessen its seriousness or the intensity
of what I’m feeling but allows me a
brief moment of relief from the
inundation of negativity and it also
offers an understanding with another
person when all I feel is alone and
while I also recognize that to some of
you you may not found this as funny as
some of the other ones and that’s okay
maybe your brain doesn’t work like mine
kind of jealous but you know it’s okay
but memes has still shown us that we can
connect on issues of mental illness
whether you have it or don’t I realized
that we all have symptoms of these
illnesses but the degree of it tends to
bury so how many of you ever been sad
okay
everyone should raise their hands we’ve
all been side guys
but this kind of sad
[Music]
we’ve all been sad and for some odd
irrational reason we’ve all dealt with
that sadness by listening to even sadder
music doesn’t make sense but it’s
something that we do but for those with
depression sadness comes with a more
visceral intensity and stays for a
prolonged period of time and because it
is distinctive in this way it makes it
difficult to talk about difficult for
those who have it because they don’t
want to appear crazy or misunderstood
difficult for those who don’t because I
don’t really know what it is and may be
afraid of saying the wrong thing but
that’s the beauty of this mean this
means about 54,000 973 likes on
Instagram 54,000 973 people related to
this feeling on some level and it
instantly created a community and
network of relatable things around a
negative emotion which is not something
we generally rally around you know and
if we can recognize the connection in
the unity that comes from this we can
change the perception that negative
feelings are something to be ashamed of
and we can start having conversations
that we aren’t having by recognizing
that we’re all connected and we’re all
united and we can all be there for each
other and that’s also because humor is
one of the primary tools used to open us
up in awkward difficult or challenging
situations
for the students in the room I invite
you to think back to your orientation
experience if you’re anything like me
you’re probably anxious nervous crave
some sort of social familiarity what
helped you in those moments maybe it was
the orientation leader that made a
cliche joke or the icebreaker activity
that made you quack like a duck what do
those moments do they allowed you to
laugh at something laugh with someone
and maybe that’s how you met your best
friend or maybe you just got to be more
comfortable being yourself and that’s
because humor has this unique ability of
leveling the playing field and allowing
us to feel comfortable to confront
things that are awkward unknown or
challenging and because humor can do
this we can utilize it every single day
and we can recognize that the depth of
depressive feelings may be rare and
severe sadness isn’t it’s something we
all feel so why do we stigmatize those
who feel it more frequently the answer
is we don’t have to we all have a role
in reclaiming the narrative surrounding
depression anxiety mental health and you
can recognize that by using your humor
to just mitigate the intensity of a very
serious topic for a brief moment you can
offer a window to a conversation and
memes are certainly no cure for
depression and no amount of laughter has
ever made me not depressed but you can
we can use it as a tool to start having
conversations we aren’t having for those
on both sides and so for people who
don’t feel validated to begin feeling
validated so use your words use your
humor use your empathy continue to hit
light continue to share continue to tag
your friends in those means but remember
that each of those moments go beyond a
fleeting click or a like that you have
the power to take control of those
moments and start having conversations
we aren’t having and maybe you’ll be the
one to pull somebody out of their thick
fog or their hole and you have the power
to do that every time you unlock
phone maybe just avoid walking into any
polls thank you
[Applause]
[Applause]
hello you guys look so much less scarier
from in there I’m gonna start with
telling you guys a story so and it’s
nice and embarrassing so you’re allowed
to laugh just last Thursday I was
leaving my sociology class I put my
headphones in my head was down I was
avoiding all eye contact as I walked
across campus the introverts in the room
will know where I’m coming from and in
my antisocial haste I walked full force
into a very stationary very unmoving
yield sign I smacked right into it and
don’t worry it was daylight out so
literally everybody saw uh and some of
you may see this unfortunate incident as
just another millennial absorbed in her
technology so much so that she becomes a
mortifying sidewalk spectacle what you
guys don’t know is that I had just been
tagged in a meme now to some of you that
means absolutely nothing how many of you
know what a meme is okay so for those of
you aren’t quite sure what the kids are
up to these days this is what I was
tagged in at 12:34 p.m.
a meme such as this one generally takes
a funny image facial expression
pop-culture reference and adds text or
quote to it and generally refers to
experiences that we all have we don’t
really talk about because they’re
embarrassing or taboo and so we revert
to the online world to recognize the
hilarity of these experiences and on
that fateful afternoon with my imminent
graduation looming and the encroaching
fear of the real world impending my
feelings were most aptly captured with
this young baseball player meeting the
field with his face means are everywhere
all over social media sites liked by
friends and strangers alike and are
often characterized is just another way
for us to disconnect and as Millennials
are often chastised for our online
worlds understandably so I sometimes get
annoyed with my own peers who can’t seem
to put their phones down but what if we
looked at these things in a new way what
about them is so captivating what has
drawn an entire generation toward it
seems to be just an idiosyncratic
internet phenomenon I’d argue that the
importance of these memes come from
their universality and their ability to
touch on experiences and feelings we all
have we don’t talk about because society
has deemed them shameful oftentimes the
social media role is all about
presenting our best selves avoiding
anything imperfect flawed or human in an
effort to look our best and that’s
what’s great about memes they allow you
to call upon experience as we all have
but we don’t talk about because Society
has deemed them shameful and one of
these topics is mental illness believe
it or not particularly anxiety and
depression even if you have no personal
experience with mental illness you know
someone who does and you may not even
know it at least 25% of the US
population will struggle with a mental
illness at some point in their lives
that’s one in four so take a look to
your left to your right behind you and
right in front of you on this stage I’ve
struggled with major depressive disorder
since I was 16 years old and like so
many others have not only had to
confront the challenges of having a
mental illness but the stigma that comes
with it and the stigma that breeds a
feeling of being crazy and that if I
were to just think a little bit more
positively then it’ll go away as soon
becomes in a lot of different forms it
can come from the media it can come from
everyday interactions when I was 17 I
decided to open up to somebody about my
mental health challenge it was the first
person outside of my family and at the
time I felt so deeply sad despite my
year in therapy I felt as though these
feelings were never gonna go away
and nothing was gonna get better but to
everybody else I was doing great I was
better than great I was getting all A’s
in my classes I was the yearbook editor
I was on track to go to a great college
and I had friends and family who truly
loved and cared about me but my mind was
stuck in a thick fog unable to
internalize these external successes and
privileges and the best way I can
describe it to you is that it felt as
though I was in a hole where I could see
everyone but no one could really see me
and in an effort to get better I’d read
that it was important to talk about so I
decided to share and after sharing with
them they responded well you don’t look
sad you’re not crazy and while I
recognize this was meant to be a
compliment it really only perpetuated
the idea that health is only valid and
real if we see it with our naked eye and
even after trying to convince them of
the realness of my illness by telling
them I was seeking a professional help
they’ve rode their brow and said well
then why don’t you feel better as much
as I love to it’s not how it works
because in the same way that an athlete
has to go to practice each day to get
better I have to go to therapy and work
to get better in the same way that an
athlete gets injured I experience
setbacks in my own mental health
training therapy will not fix me no more
than a few practices will make an elite
athlete and after this interaction I
withdrew fearful that divulging any more
of my feelings or thoughts would indeed
convince them that I was crazy and
within this retreat it is a perfect
example of how stigma can be the nexus
between choosing to get help or choosing
to remain alone and it comes from the
lack of understanding
that the sadness that comes from
depression is deep it’s complex and it’s
unique to each person experience it
experiencing it and within this retreat
I had to find other ways to cope with
the stigma I was beginning to
internalize and I found comedy believe
it or not and the different types and
tastes and mediums of comedy I used to
cope with my depression over the last
six years has evolved and changed but
was most important was the laughter
because laughter allowed to cut moments
of intense negativity and remind me that
joy and happiness is achievable even in
the darkest of places and in the darkest
moments and additionally it allowed me
to even laugh at the absurdity of how my
depression manifested itself taking away
from the power of the Goblin that held
on to my mind and that’s because even
Neville couldn’t be scared when Snape
was wearing his grandmother’s clothes so
what is it about laughter about humor
that allows us to address our most of
the sural fears or the darkest parts of
ourselves I’d argue that laughter and by
extension comedy makes us feel safe and
why does it make us feel safe because it
makes us feel understood when you laugh
with someone there’s an understanding
that is transcends any sort of
conversation in your and developed a
sense of empathy and warmth that you
really can’t experience anywhere else
and that is the exact opposite of what
it’s like to be depressed it’s an
intense feeling of isolation and the
belief that no one understands you and
no one believes me and as such no one
cares about me and then you don’t care
about yourself and humor help shatter
this fallacy for me by showing me that
the people I laugh with things that I
laugh at matter and the people who want
to laugh with me care about me not laugh
at me I mean there’s sometimes the same
thing but
and humor and memes go hand in hand they
were designed with the sole purpose of
making us laugh and to be shared with
the people around us without knowing yet
we’ve created we’ve designed creative
outlets to begin addressing issues that
are all part of the human experience but
are just not something that we like to
talk about
additionally don’t worry only everyone’s
looking at you so what about them is
such an integral part of our lives
especially as young people so let me ask
you when someone tags you in a meme
sends you a picture that makes you smile
or an article that piques your curiosity
what does that say to you to me it says
I thought of you I want you to know that
and this connection is important to me
because you’re important to me and means
allow us to connect on a variety of
different tastes interests and topics
they could apply to your cinematic
tastes
your political propensity x’ those days
weeks months or lifetimes when you feel
overwhelmed
and lastly when you’re on deck to give
your TEDx talk and based on the laughter
in the room my evil plan has worked and
you can all see that we can connect to
each one of these memes in some way and
we can all relate to each other maybe
you found one funnier than the other and
that’s okay cuz we’re all different but
we all laugh together and there’s a
closeness that comes from that laughter
and a sense of community and in the same
way that one of you may have found a dog
in a burning room funnier than mr.
Potatohead yelling expletives oftentimes
the memes that make me laugh apply to my
depression a good friend of mine also
struggles with anxiety and depression
and often times our text threads are a
series of memes sent back and forth back
and forth no text necessary no
explanation required most recently she
sent me this
I have been struggling with my
depression lately and feeling quite
anxious and nervous with the prospect
and privilege of speaking with you all
here today and she knew that
and the way she let me know that she’s
thinking of me and that she understands
me and that she’s there for me is by
sending this it’s an implicit means of
support and acceptance of my mental
illness is something that’s real but
also something that I can laugh about
not laugh at but laugh about and it also
opens a doorway of conversation because
I establish a connection with somebody
else and that person says you matter to
me and I’m here for you and we can talk
about it if you want to and I feel most
validated because this is how my brain
actually works and that’s where the
hilarity of this meme comes from each
day I’m confronted with my rationality
and my anxiety and depression in this
ironic car crash and it’s kind of funny
and being able to laugh at it does not
lessen its seriousness or the intensity
of what I’m feeling but allows me a
brief moment of relief from the
inundation of negativity and it also
offers an understanding with another
person when all I feel is alone and
while I also recognize that to some of
you you may not found this as funny as
some of the other ones and that’s okay
maybe your brain doesn’t work like mine
kind of jealous but you know it’s okay
but memes has still shown us that we can
connect on issues of mental illness
whether you have it or don’t I realized
that we all have symptoms of these
illnesses but the degree of it tends to
bury so how many of you ever been sad
okay
everyone should raise their hands we’ve
all been side guys
but this kind of sad
[Music]
we’ve all been sad and for some odd
irrational reason we’ve all dealt with
that sadness by listening to even sadder
music doesn’t make sense but it’s
something that we do but for those with
depression sadness comes with a more
visceral intensity and stays for a
prolonged period of time and because it
is distinctive in this way it makes it
difficult to talk about difficult for
those who have it because they don’t
want to appear crazy or misunderstood
difficult for those who don’t because I
don’t really know what it is and may be
afraid of saying the wrong thing but
that’s the beauty of this mean this
means about 54,000 973 likes on
Instagram 54,000 973 people related to
this feeling on some level and it
instantly created a community and
network of relatable things around a
negative emotion which is not something
we generally rally around you know and
if we can recognize the connection in
the unity that comes from this we can
change the perception that negative
feelings are something to be ashamed of
and we can start having conversations
that we aren’t having by recognizing
that we’re all connected and we’re all
united and we can all be there for each
other and that’s also because humor is
one of the primary tools used to open us
up in awkward difficult or challenging
situations
for the students in the room I invite
you to think back to your orientation
experience if you’re anything like me
you’re probably anxious nervous crave
some sort of social familiarity what
helped you in those moments maybe it was
the orientation leader that made a
cliche joke or the icebreaker activity
that made you quack like a duck what do
those moments do they allowed you to
laugh at something laugh with someone
and maybe that’s how you met your best
friend or maybe you just got to be more
comfortable being yourself and that’s
because humor has this unique ability of
leveling the playing field and allowing
us to feel comfortable to confront
things that are awkward unknown or
challenging and because humor can do
this we can utilize it every single day
and we can recognize that the depth of
depressive feelings may be rare and
severe sadness isn’t it’s something we
all feel so why do we stigmatize those
who feel it more frequently the answer
is we don’t have to we all have a role
in reclaiming the narrative surrounding
depression anxiety mental health and you
can recognize that by using your humor
to just mitigate the intensity of a very
serious topic for a brief moment you can
offer a window to a conversation and
memes are certainly no cure for
depression and no amount of laughter has
ever made me not depressed but you can
we can use it as a tool to start having
conversations we aren’t having for those
on both sides and so for people who
don’t feel validated to begin feeling
validated so use your words use your
humor use your empathy continue to hit
light continue to share continue to tag
your friends in those means but remember
that each of those moments go beyond a
fleeting click or a like that you have
the power to take control of those
moments and start having conversations
we aren’t having and maybe you’ll be the
one to pull somebody out of their thick
fog or their hole and you have the power
to do that every time you unlock
phone maybe just avoid walking into any
polls thank you
[Applause]
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