yo mama’s so stupid it took her two
hours to watch 60 minutes
yo mama’s so ugly when she was born the
doctor slapped yo grandma uh-huh yo
mama’s so fat when she steps on the
scale it says to be continued
hey guys i’m rebecca from watch mojo and
today we’ll be counting down our picks
for the top 20 insults in movies listen
why don’t you just discuss love back to
kind of let them play around with your
tea and your cakes in horse before we
begin we publish new content every day
so be sure to subscribe to our channel
and ring the bell to get notified about
our latest videos in honor of WatchMojo
hitting 20 million subscribers thanks by
the way we will be serving you guys some
super-sized lists of 20 for this list
we’re looking at the most brutal and
you’re so ugly you could be a modern art
masterpiece number 20 have fun having a
baby at your prom bridesmaids Kristen
Wiig zani is already having a bit of a
rough day so when a teenage girl comes
into her jewelry shop looking for a
friendship necklace Annie can’t help but
chime in that sometimes friendship
doesn’t last forever
you’re weird I’m not weird okay yes no
no and you started it no you started it
did you forget to take your xanax this
morning the young girl responds by
calling her weird which kicks off an
unforgettable insult ridden back and
forth god I feel bad for your parents I
feel bad for your face okay well call me
when your boobs come in your call me
when yours come in what do you have for
boyfriends exactly yeah okay it’s hard
to choose a favorite line from this
hysterical exchange but when Annie asks
about the girls boyfriends well let’s
just say things get pretty inappropriate
from then on have fun having a baby at
your prom you look like an old mop you
know what you’re not as popular as you
think you are
I am very popular this side-splitting
argument may have gotten her fired but
it kept the audience in stitches and
gave us some very quotable moments
number 19
damnit in the loop if you take away
nothing else from this oscar-nominated
political satire
it’s that folks in suits aren’t exactly
Paragons of virtue why would I tell you
about I’ve told you of twice and yet
you’re still here the story follows the
fevered activities of British and
American political pundits as they
navigate a potential Middle East
invasion one such figure Malcolm Tucker
is the director of communications for
the British prime minister and boy does
he communicate the bulk of his dialogue
is profanity-laden even when he’s
seemingly not that upset and in one
scene simply discussing departmental
responsibilities with his colleague Judy
is enough to send him on a flowery
tirade Malcolm allow me to pulp a jaunty
little bonnet on your purview and run
out of the shitter with a lubricated
horse judy is not impressed though and
almost outshines him with this
effortless comeback your swearing does
not impress NEMA my husband works for
Tower Hamlets and believe me those kids
make you sound like Angela Lansbury
she’s married number eighteen sherab
looking 21 Jumpstreet
sir I know we come off as a couple of
lady killers but I promise you you would
be super professional on the job in this
film adaptation of the popular 80’s TV
show Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum play
Schmidt and Jenko rookie cops who are
recruited to infiltrate a high school
and sniff out a drug ring but before
they step foot onto the school’s campus
they have to get a briefing from their
Chief of Police who also happens to be
played by a delightfully angry ice cube
when he tries to warn the undercover
cops that getting romantically involved
with the students is off limits he’s
obviously targeting Jenko but Schmidt
hilariously misunderstands the captain
savagely shuts him down and throws this
classic burn his way clearly I wasn’t
talking to you big titties you cherub
looking I was talking to your partner
over here there’s nothing quite like
getting insulted by a former NWA member
playing a cop now you two sons of
bitches in my office now right man
number 17 your mom’s chest hair Mean
Girls Mean Girls taught us a lot of
things
I had a properly catalogue a burn book
or like the rules of feminism
ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to
friends I mean that’s just like the
rules of feminism but most importantly
it taught us how to expertly clap back
at bullies thanks to the pure genius of
Janis Ian the resident goth girl and
former best friend of popular girl
Regina George Janis is frequently the
target of errant abuse from random
students that doesn’t mean she can’t
deliver in the insult department herself
when one student throws a jab at her
while she’s having a conversation with
Katie she does not miss a beat throwing
one right back last week janice what’s
it made of your mom’s chest hair the
ease with which she absolutely destroys
this bully is something we can’t help
but admire number 16 take this quarter
Uncle Buck you so much as scowl at my
niece or any other kid in this school
and I hear about it I’m coming looking
for you in this classic 80s comedy John
Candy plays buck a man who’s tasked with
watching his nieces and nephew in the
midst of a family emergency
as he adjusts to life as a temporary
parental unit he hits a few bumps in the
road but I know a good kid when I see
one
because they’re all good kids until
dried out brain-dead Skaggs like you
drag them down and convince them they’re
no good when he’s called into a meeting
with the assistant principal that his
youngest nieces school their encounter
seems doomed from the start
as buck cannot stop referencing the mole
on her chin I’m I’m the warden
she’s my tumor Mike my growth my my
pimple I’m uncle wart just old buck wart
Russell that’s what they call me after
she calls his six-year-old niece a bad
egg buck does not hold himself back in
defending Maisie and makes a comment
about the obvious growth protruding from
the woman’s face take this quarter go
downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing
off your face the look of utter shock on
her face is priceless and oh so
satisfying number 15 teeth on fire
Encino man a teen movie just isn’t a
teen movie without a bully and this
movie does not fail to deliver No stop
stop it why do you make me do this while
the story follows a recently defrosted
caveman and his adventures in modern
times
it also focuses on the woes of the
teenage boy Dave who befriends him Dave
is painfully in love with Robin but she
is dating the school bully Matt Matt
uses Dave’s love for Robin as a constant
source of ridicule and his insults are
enough to send even the happiest of kids
into an instant depression some of us
punk and some of us slump she tried some
punk Morgan might clear up your acne so
when he sees Dave talking to Robin he
doesn’t hesitate to put him in his place
I know about your stupid palm King
bullshit forget it Robin wouldn’t piss
on your gums if your teeth are on fire
yes she would number 14 Michael Bolton
office space it’s gotta suck sharing a
name with someone you loathe and
probably worse if that person happens to
be famous Michael Bolton that’s me
this 90s hit centers on a group of
disgruntled employees and their desire
for revenge on their employer while the
plot focuses mainly on the story of
Peter the emotionally numb protagonist
there’s also Michael Bolton who’s got
his own set of problems with a thankless
job that’s on the line at a company he
hates being reminded that he also shares
a name with a famous singer is enough to
give him some major resentment issues at
least your name isn’t Michael Bolton you
know there’s nothing wrong with that
name there was nothing wrong with it
until I was about 12 years old and that
no-talent ass clown became famous and
started winning Grammys it also leads to
some pretty hilarious insults especially
when he discusses the issue with a
co-worker why don’t you just go by Mike
instead of Michael no way
what should I change he’s the one who
sucks number thirteen get out of the
road the 40 year old virgin sometimes
when you’ve just chased your fleeing
girlfriend across town and crashed
through a moving billboard in the middle
of traffic you’d like a moment of
privacy I’m a virgin I always have been
it is that what all this was about
unfortunately for Steve Carell’s
character Andy he’s afforded no such
courtesy after he and his girlfriend get
into an argument that sees her bolt from
his house and he follows her on his
bicycle and winds up flat on his back
following a tumble through a two-sided
sign on the back of a truck
he finally gains the courage to inform
his girlfriend that all of their
troubles have been connected to his
virginity Oh scared and just when you
think they’re approaching a moment of
intimate honesty a random dude in a car
hurls this unforgettable insult their
way number 12
really thirsty Conair event CD conozco
the anteater escargot stevia lassi on
when you’re a convict who’s done his
time and is just trying to get back to
his wife and a strange daughter the last
thing you want is to be caught up in
some plain bound criminal shenanigans
Nic Cage as character Cameron Poe has
boarded a plane with the intention of
reuniting with his family after
completing an eight-year stint in the
clink but a few of the prisoners on
board have other plans call me Johnny
600 if they knew the truth and doesn’t
have quite the same ring to it
anyway I despise rapist case in point is
Cyrus the virus who doesn’t appear
particularly fond of one of the less
savory prisoners and makes absolutely no
pretense about it
describing this serial rapist in the
most unpleasant way possible for me
you’re somewhere between a cockroach and
that white stuff that accumulates at the
corner in your mouth when you’re really
thirsty hey even murderers have to have
standards number 11
sheep lying no-good National Lampoon’s
Christmas vacation look Frank surely my
boss right here tonight when you spent
the bulk of your professional life
working for a boss you can’t stand at a
company that you can barely tolerate you
might get a little disgruntled at a
less-than-stellar Christmas bonus
especially when you were planning on
using it to put in a swimming pool one
year membership and the jelly of the
Month Club and this exact situation was
precisely enough to send Chevy Chase’s
character on an extended insult field
tirade aimed at his less than generous
employer in this holiday comedy lying
lowlife snake licking dirt eating inbred
overstuffed ignorant this rant seems to
go on forever and we loved every second
of it dog kissing brainless dickless
hopeless heartless fat ass bug-eyed
stiff-legged spotty lip we’re headed
sack of monkey shit he is but what’s
most important is that he got it all off
his chest and we got to laugh heartily
at his unhappiness number 10 homeless
shelter white men can’t jump this top
class setup and perfect punchline really
hit home no matter how good their
competition is on the court no one
stands a chance against Billy Hoyle
sharp tongue a trash-talking Master
Woody Harrelson is the bad cop – Wesley
Snipes good and this public put-down is
jail worthy what what are you doing I’m
making them mad most guys don’t play
good when they’re man look you know
you’re embarrassing me that’s what
you’re doing yeah well that’s the other
thing I’m doing trying to psych-out the
competition into making a mistake
Billy accuses his opponents of throwing
up bricks and throws out a jab that hits
way below the belt let’s stop right now
and let’s just gather up all these
bricks
and let’s build a shelter for the
homeless so that maybe your mother has a
place to live we’re to the wise if you
really want to hit your opponent where
it hurts drag his mother and sister into
it it is a priceless play and a savage
slam dunk it’s also one of many classic
yomomma jabs in this sports comedy when
your love is so qua Cena kicking can
down the street I said what you doing
she said movin gravy poured our number
nine but that’s an Ohio Revenge of the
Nerds
when the nerd faces off against the
jerky jock
we got a roof for the underdog and when
it comes to their classic exchange we’re
sure we pick the right side when big man
on campus Stan Gable rolls up and yells
at em from his motorcycle
Dudley booger Dawson casually delivers
one of the greatest lines in insult
history to no one in particular you
I thought I was looking at my mother’s
old douche bag but that’s an Ohio he
comes up with this quip so fast it gives
us whiplash it’s just a shame Stan
didn’t get to hear it though maybe it’s
for the best because that surely would
not have ended well for booger number
eight yes it’s true Ghostbusters this
verbal low blow is heard loud and proud
by the mayor of New York no less okay
making the Environmental Protection
Agency the bad guy in your movie is a
bit of a hot take but in ghostbusters
that felon is personified by a classic
smug 80s douche everything was mine with
our system until the power grid was shut
off by dickless here after ray gives an
irate Walter pack an unflattering
nickname Pete Venkman uses his dry wit
to go straight for the jugular is this
true yes it’s true this man has no dick
what makes this line especially funny is
how straight-faced Venkman is knowing
that the mayor was most definitely not
asking about that part of Ray’s comment
nothing says screw you like mocking a
guy’s manhood and it gets an appropriate
response for mr. pecker no Peck sorry if
there’s something strange in your
neighborhood insulting its reproductive
organs may be a good idea number seven
if my dog was as ugly as you the Sandlot
ah the ugly joke will it ever get old
not for us and not for ham Porter as we
learned from white men can’t jump
there is no better way to psych out an
opponent than to hit him right in the
ego it helps that Porter’s delivery is
spot-on as he lowers his voice and
heightens the hilarity with this classic
whip achieve is but you tell them to
walk backwards a dog can be ugly hits
but even more so but if your face is
worse than Fido shorn derriere you are
doing something seriously wrong Porter
also goes for another tried-and-true
tactic bringing up your opponent’s
Porter
take note batters and take a look in the
mirror number six
motivational insults dodgeball a true
underdog story an insult spouting legend
patches o’houlihan strikes comic goal
during his terrific team pep talks
the average joe’s with their less than
average performance are in need of
motivation
so this dodgeball legend rolls in to
help are you sure that this is
completely necessary necessary is it
necessary for me to drink my own urine
probably not no but I do it anyway
however patches motivational style
involves breaking his team down and then
building them back up again letting them
know just how inadequate they really are
water fell out of a oh it also involves
sending them out into oncoming traffic
and throwing wrenches at them if you can
questionable as his techniques may be
they work one of patches more memorable
comments compares the teams running to
what happens inside his shorts hey
whatever works number five
Cartman’s song South Park bigger Longer
& uncut after mrs. Broflovski complains
about the negative influence TV has on
kids and wages war on Terrance and
Phillips home country of Canada Eric
Cartman has had enough when he can’t
hold it in anymore his rage bursts forth
in the form of an unforgettable song and
dance number that crosses lines of
[Music]
it’s so catchy
Cartman even get some back up from his
schoolyard chums Cartman stand is
hilariously rude a rise against parents
and a teenage anthem to top it all off
Kyle’s mom arrives just in time to catch
the end of the song we can’t imagine she
loved it right number four questionable
living arrangements Parenthood ah young
love at one moment it can burn as
brightly as the Sun the next moment it
can turn sour but rarely is that
downward spiral expressed so eloquently
and with such pizzazz is in this film
after Todd breaks Julie’s heart he
bursts through the door to apologize and
declare his love I thought I’d find you
here
what does that make you Sherlock Holmes
I live here however he is quickly sent
packing with a ringing in his ears
Julie sums up her to staying for him in
the harshest way possible live with me
with you flooded with pitch and you
lived in a tree sharp and with sizzle it
is a very harsh prize put down and the
fact that it’s sent to Keanu Reeves is
just the icing on the cake number three
smelly pirate anchorman The Legend of
Ron Burgundy
Ron is furious after Veronica reads the
news while he’s trapped in a glass case
of emotion and the two do not handle
their mutual anger very well it can’t
seem to be near each other without
verbally sparring when Veronica cuts in
on Ron’s TV time to watch a tape the two
engage in war of words that has us
crying with laughter mr. burgundy you
are acting like a baby I’m not a baby
I’m a man I am an anchorman you are not
a man you are a big fat joke I’m a man
who discovered the wheel and built the
Eiffel Tower out of metal undeterred by
the watching crowd the anchorman
confidently delivers his zingers with a
steely eye and a stiff upper lip
mustachioed as it may be I will have you
know that I have more talent and more
intelligence in my little finger than
you do in your entire body sir you are a
smelly pirate hooker you look like a
blueberry miss Corningstone get some
comebacks in there but we barely heard
we were laughing so hard at the pirate
hooker thing unfortunately Ron did and
let’s just say he didn’t take it too
well
well you have bad hair what did you say
I said your hair looks stupid
number two may God have mercy on your
soul
Billy Madison fresh off a speech that
leaves the crowd cheering comes a
judicial jibe that cuts deep Billy at
his moment of triumph is hit with a long
and eloquent insult so hilariously
hyperbolized it leaves us as
shell-shocked to Sandler’s character mr.
Madison what you just said is one of the
most insanely idiotic things I have ever
heard at no point in your rambling
incoherent response were you even close
to anything that could be considered a
rational thought the combination of the
harsh words and the ultra-cool delivery
ensures that this sentiment shall not be
forgotten the add a touch of may God
have mercy on your soul really pushes
this speech over the line making it all
the more comically harsh everyone in
this room is now Dumber for having
listened to it I award you no points and
may God have mercy on your soul whoo
laughs don’t stop there though as
Billy’s response makes us laugh even
harder okay a simple wrong would have
done just fine but then way to cut a man
down in his moment of glory before we
unveil our number one pick here are some
honorable mentions last time I saw your
ass looks like about 150 pounds that you
yeah I got a question it’s Barry Manilow
know that you raid his wardrobe give you
the answer to that question mr. bender
next Saturday if Benjamin were an ice
cream flavor he’d be pralines
and dick number one French hunter Monty
Python and the Holy Grail what are you
doing in England mind your own business
Monty Python’s French Hunter has heckled
his way to the top and deservedly so
a warrior of words with a certain
genesee quoi
he sits atop the castle wall at a wait
to time when he’s able to give passing
English monarchs what for ah blow my
nose I do scorn but the cream of the
crop when it comes to his verbal
sparring
it’s a taunt from the turrets that will
stand the test of time every last word
he says is endlessly quote worthy talk –
no now go away or I shall taunt you is
second timer decades may have passed
since this classic film came out but we
still have yet to hear a better insult
then in your direction your mother was a
hamster and your father’s mate okay
so fun fact when I was in high school my
friends and I recreated some scenes for
Monty Python and the Holy Grail so I
know that movie very well and I’m very
happy that it’s number one on this list
anyway thank you guys again for helping
us get to 20 million subscribers and
thanks in advance for hitting that like
button and if a super-sized list isn’t
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hours to watch 60 minutes
yo mama’s so ugly when she was born the
doctor slapped yo grandma uh-huh yo
mama’s so fat when she steps on the
scale it says to be continued
hey guys i’m rebecca from watch mojo and
today we’ll be counting down our picks
for the top 20 insults in movies listen
why don’t you just discuss love back to
kind of let them play around with your
tea and your cakes in horse before we
begin we publish new content every day
so be sure to subscribe to our channel
and ring the bell to get notified about
our latest videos in honor of WatchMojo
hitting 20 million subscribers thanks by
the way we will be serving you guys some
super-sized lists of 20 for this list
we’re looking at the most brutal and
you’re so ugly you could be a modern art
masterpiece number 20 have fun having a
baby at your prom bridesmaids Kristen
Wiig zani is already having a bit of a
rough day so when a teenage girl comes
into her jewelry shop looking for a
friendship necklace Annie can’t help but
chime in that sometimes friendship
doesn’t last forever
you’re weird I’m not weird okay yes no
no and you started it no you started it
did you forget to take your xanax this
morning the young girl responds by
calling her weird which kicks off an
unforgettable insult ridden back and
forth god I feel bad for your parents I
feel bad for your face okay well call me
when your boobs come in your call me
when yours come in what do you have for
boyfriends exactly yeah okay it’s hard
to choose a favorite line from this
hysterical exchange but when Annie asks
about the girls boyfriends well let’s
just say things get pretty inappropriate
from then on have fun having a baby at
your prom you look like an old mop you
know what you’re not as popular as you
think you are
I am very popular this side-splitting
argument may have gotten her fired but
it kept the audience in stitches and
gave us some very quotable moments
number 19
damnit in the loop if you take away
nothing else from this oscar-nominated
political satire
it’s that folks in suits aren’t exactly
Paragons of virtue why would I tell you
about I’ve told you of twice and yet
you’re still here the story follows the
fevered activities of British and
American political pundits as they
navigate a potential Middle East
invasion one such figure Malcolm Tucker
is the director of communications for
the British prime minister and boy does
he communicate the bulk of his dialogue
is profanity-laden even when he’s
seemingly not that upset and in one
scene simply discussing departmental
responsibilities with his colleague Judy
is enough to send him on a flowery
tirade Malcolm allow me to pulp a jaunty
little bonnet on your purview and run
out of the shitter with a lubricated
horse judy is not impressed though and
almost outshines him with this
effortless comeback your swearing does
not impress NEMA my husband works for
Tower Hamlets and believe me those kids
make you sound like Angela Lansbury
she’s married number eighteen sherab
looking 21 Jumpstreet
sir I know we come off as a couple of
lady killers but I promise you you would
be super professional on the job in this
film adaptation of the popular 80’s TV
show Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum play
Schmidt and Jenko rookie cops who are
recruited to infiltrate a high school
and sniff out a drug ring but before
they step foot onto the school’s campus
they have to get a briefing from their
Chief of Police who also happens to be
played by a delightfully angry ice cube
when he tries to warn the undercover
cops that getting romantically involved
with the students is off limits he’s
obviously targeting Jenko but Schmidt
hilariously misunderstands the captain
savagely shuts him down and throws this
classic burn his way clearly I wasn’t
talking to you big titties you cherub
looking I was talking to your partner
over here there’s nothing quite like
getting insulted by a former NWA member
playing a cop now you two sons of
bitches in my office now right man
number 17 your mom’s chest hair Mean
Girls Mean Girls taught us a lot of
things
I had a properly catalogue a burn book
or like the rules of feminism
ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to
friends I mean that’s just like the
rules of feminism but most importantly
it taught us how to expertly clap back
at bullies thanks to the pure genius of
Janis Ian the resident goth girl and
former best friend of popular girl
Regina George Janis is frequently the
target of errant abuse from random
students that doesn’t mean she can’t
deliver in the insult department herself
when one student throws a jab at her
while she’s having a conversation with
Katie she does not miss a beat throwing
one right back last week janice what’s
it made of your mom’s chest hair the
ease with which she absolutely destroys
this bully is something we can’t help
but admire number 16 take this quarter
Uncle Buck you so much as scowl at my
niece or any other kid in this school
and I hear about it I’m coming looking
for you in this classic 80s comedy John
Candy plays buck a man who’s tasked with
watching his nieces and nephew in the
midst of a family emergency
as he adjusts to life as a temporary
parental unit he hits a few bumps in the
road but I know a good kid when I see
one
because they’re all good kids until
dried out brain-dead Skaggs like you
drag them down and convince them they’re
no good when he’s called into a meeting
with the assistant principal that his
youngest nieces school their encounter
seems doomed from the start
as buck cannot stop referencing the mole
on her chin I’m I’m the warden
she’s my tumor Mike my growth my my
pimple I’m uncle wart just old buck wart
Russell that’s what they call me after
she calls his six-year-old niece a bad
egg buck does not hold himself back in
defending Maisie and makes a comment
about the obvious growth protruding from
the woman’s face take this quarter go
downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing
off your face the look of utter shock on
her face is priceless and oh so
satisfying number 15 teeth on fire
Encino man a teen movie just isn’t a
teen movie without a bully and this
movie does not fail to deliver No stop
stop it why do you make me do this while
the story follows a recently defrosted
caveman and his adventures in modern
times
it also focuses on the woes of the
teenage boy Dave who befriends him Dave
is painfully in love with Robin but she
is dating the school bully Matt Matt
uses Dave’s love for Robin as a constant
source of ridicule and his insults are
enough to send even the happiest of kids
into an instant depression some of us
punk and some of us slump she tried some
punk Morgan might clear up your acne so
when he sees Dave talking to Robin he
doesn’t hesitate to put him in his place
I know about your stupid palm King
bullshit forget it Robin wouldn’t piss
on your gums if your teeth are on fire
yes she would number 14 Michael Bolton
office space it’s gotta suck sharing a
name with someone you loathe and
probably worse if that person happens to
be famous Michael Bolton that’s me
this 90s hit centers on a group of
disgruntled employees and their desire
for revenge on their employer while the
plot focuses mainly on the story of
Peter the emotionally numb protagonist
there’s also Michael Bolton who’s got
his own set of problems with a thankless
job that’s on the line at a company he
hates being reminded that he also shares
a name with a famous singer is enough to
give him some major resentment issues at
least your name isn’t Michael Bolton you
know there’s nothing wrong with that
name there was nothing wrong with it
until I was about 12 years old and that
no-talent ass clown became famous and
started winning Grammys it also leads to
some pretty hilarious insults especially
when he discusses the issue with a
co-worker why don’t you just go by Mike
instead of Michael no way
what should I change he’s the one who
sucks number thirteen get out of the
road the 40 year old virgin sometimes
when you’ve just chased your fleeing
girlfriend across town and crashed
through a moving billboard in the middle
of traffic you’d like a moment of
privacy I’m a virgin I always have been
it is that what all this was about
unfortunately for Steve Carell’s
character Andy he’s afforded no such
courtesy after he and his girlfriend get
into an argument that sees her bolt from
his house and he follows her on his
bicycle and winds up flat on his back
following a tumble through a two-sided
sign on the back of a truck
he finally gains the courage to inform
his girlfriend that all of their
troubles have been connected to his
virginity Oh scared and just when you
think they’re approaching a moment of
intimate honesty a random dude in a car
hurls this unforgettable insult their
way number 12
really thirsty Conair event CD conozco
the anteater escargot stevia lassi on
when you’re a convict who’s done his
time and is just trying to get back to
his wife and a strange daughter the last
thing you want is to be caught up in
some plain bound criminal shenanigans
Nic Cage as character Cameron Poe has
boarded a plane with the intention of
reuniting with his family after
completing an eight-year stint in the
clink but a few of the prisoners on
board have other plans call me Johnny
600 if they knew the truth and doesn’t
have quite the same ring to it
anyway I despise rapist case in point is
Cyrus the virus who doesn’t appear
particularly fond of one of the less
savory prisoners and makes absolutely no
pretense about it
describing this serial rapist in the
most unpleasant way possible for me
you’re somewhere between a cockroach and
that white stuff that accumulates at the
corner in your mouth when you’re really
thirsty hey even murderers have to have
standards number 11
sheep lying no-good National Lampoon’s
Christmas vacation look Frank surely my
boss right here tonight when you spent
the bulk of your professional life
working for a boss you can’t stand at a
company that you can barely tolerate you
might get a little disgruntled at a
less-than-stellar Christmas bonus
especially when you were planning on
using it to put in a swimming pool one
year membership and the jelly of the
Month Club and this exact situation was
precisely enough to send Chevy Chase’s
character on an extended insult field
tirade aimed at his less than generous
employer in this holiday comedy lying
lowlife snake licking dirt eating inbred
overstuffed ignorant this rant seems to
go on forever and we loved every second
of it dog kissing brainless dickless
hopeless heartless fat ass bug-eyed
stiff-legged spotty lip we’re headed
sack of monkey shit he is but what’s
most important is that he got it all off
his chest and we got to laugh heartily
at his unhappiness number 10 homeless
shelter white men can’t jump this top
class setup and perfect punchline really
hit home no matter how good their
competition is on the court no one
stands a chance against Billy Hoyle
sharp tongue a trash-talking Master
Woody Harrelson is the bad cop – Wesley
Snipes good and this public put-down is
jail worthy what what are you doing I’m
making them mad most guys don’t play
good when they’re man look you know
you’re embarrassing me that’s what
you’re doing yeah well that’s the other
thing I’m doing trying to psych-out the
competition into making a mistake
Billy accuses his opponents of throwing
up bricks and throws out a jab that hits
way below the belt let’s stop right now
and let’s just gather up all these
bricks
and let’s build a shelter for the
homeless so that maybe your mother has a
place to live we’re to the wise if you
really want to hit your opponent where
it hurts drag his mother and sister into
it it is a priceless play and a savage
slam dunk it’s also one of many classic
yomomma jabs in this sports comedy when
your love is so qua Cena kicking can
down the street I said what you doing
she said movin gravy poured our number
nine but that’s an Ohio Revenge of the
Nerds
when the nerd faces off against the
jerky jock
we got a roof for the underdog and when
it comes to their classic exchange we’re
sure we pick the right side when big man
on campus Stan Gable rolls up and yells
at em from his motorcycle
Dudley booger Dawson casually delivers
one of the greatest lines in insult
history to no one in particular you
I thought I was looking at my mother’s
old douche bag but that’s an Ohio he
comes up with this quip so fast it gives
us whiplash it’s just a shame Stan
didn’t get to hear it though maybe it’s
for the best because that surely would
not have ended well for booger number
eight yes it’s true Ghostbusters this
verbal low blow is heard loud and proud
by the mayor of New York no less okay
making the Environmental Protection
Agency the bad guy in your movie is a
bit of a hot take but in ghostbusters
that felon is personified by a classic
smug 80s douche everything was mine with
our system until the power grid was shut
off by dickless here after ray gives an
irate Walter pack an unflattering
nickname Pete Venkman uses his dry wit
to go straight for the jugular is this
true yes it’s true this man has no dick
what makes this line especially funny is
how straight-faced Venkman is knowing
that the mayor was most definitely not
asking about that part of Ray’s comment
nothing says screw you like mocking a
guy’s manhood and it gets an appropriate
response for mr. pecker no Peck sorry if
there’s something strange in your
neighborhood insulting its reproductive
organs may be a good idea number seven
if my dog was as ugly as you the Sandlot
ah the ugly joke will it ever get old
not for us and not for ham Porter as we
learned from white men can’t jump
there is no better way to psych out an
opponent than to hit him right in the
ego it helps that Porter’s delivery is
spot-on as he lowers his voice and
heightens the hilarity with this classic
whip achieve is but you tell them to
walk backwards a dog can be ugly hits
but even more so but if your face is
worse than Fido shorn derriere you are
doing something seriously wrong Porter
also goes for another tried-and-true
tactic bringing up your opponent’s
Porter
take note batters and take a look in the
mirror number six
motivational insults dodgeball a true
underdog story an insult spouting legend
patches o’houlihan strikes comic goal
during his terrific team pep talks
the average joe’s with their less than
average performance are in need of
motivation
so this dodgeball legend rolls in to
help are you sure that this is
completely necessary necessary is it
necessary for me to drink my own urine
probably not no but I do it anyway
however patches motivational style
involves breaking his team down and then
building them back up again letting them
know just how inadequate they really are
water fell out of a oh it also involves
sending them out into oncoming traffic
and throwing wrenches at them if you can
questionable as his techniques may be
they work one of patches more memorable
comments compares the teams running to
what happens inside his shorts hey
whatever works number five
Cartman’s song South Park bigger Longer
& uncut after mrs. Broflovski complains
about the negative influence TV has on
kids and wages war on Terrance and
Phillips home country of Canada Eric
Cartman has had enough when he can’t
hold it in anymore his rage bursts forth
in the form of an unforgettable song and
dance number that crosses lines of
[Music]
it’s so catchy
Cartman even get some back up from his
schoolyard chums Cartman stand is
hilariously rude a rise against parents
and a teenage anthem to top it all off
Kyle’s mom arrives just in time to catch
the end of the song we can’t imagine she
loved it right number four questionable
living arrangements Parenthood ah young
love at one moment it can burn as
brightly as the Sun the next moment it
can turn sour but rarely is that
downward spiral expressed so eloquently
and with such pizzazz is in this film
after Todd breaks Julie’s heart he
bursts through the door to apologize and
declare his love I thought I’d find you
here
what does that make you Sherlock Holmes
I live here however he is quickly sent
packing with a ringing in his ears
Julie sums up her to staying for him in
the harshest way possible live with me
with you flooded with pitch and you
lived in a tree sharp and with sizzle it
is a very harsh prize put down and the
fact that it’s sent to Keanu Reeves is
just the icing on the cake number three
smelly pirate anchorman The Legend of
Ron Burgundy
Ron is furious after Veronica reads the
news while he’s trapped in a glass case
of emotion and the two do not handle
their mutual anger very well it can’t
seem to be near each other without
verbally sparring when Veronica cuts in
on Ron’s TV time to watch a tape the two
engage in war of words that has us
crying with laughter mr. burgundy you
are acting like a baby I’m not a baby
I’m a man I am an anchorman you are not
a man you are a big fat joke I’m a man
who discovered the wheel and built the
Eiffel Tower out of metal undeterred by
the watching crowd the anchorman
confidently delivers his zingers with a
steely eye and a stiff upper lip
mustachioed as it may be I will have you
know that I have more talent and more
intelligence in my little finger than
you do in your entire body sir you are a
smelly pirate hooker you look like a
blueberry miss Corningstone get some
comebacks in there but we barely heard
we were laughing so hard at the pirate
hooker thing unfortunately Ron did and
let’s just say he didn’t take it too
well
well you have bad hair what did you say
I said your hair looks stupid
number two may God have mercy on your
soul
Billy Madison fresh off a speech that
leaves the crowd cheering comes a
judicial jibe that cuts deep Billy at
his moment of triumph is hit with a long
and eloquent insult so hilariously
hyperbolized it leaves us as
shell-shocked to Sandler’s character mr.
Madison what you just said is one of the
most insanely idiotic things I have ever
heard at no point in your rambling
incoherent response were you even close
to anything that could be considered a
rational thought the combination of the
harsh words and the ultra-cool delivery
ensures that this sentiment shall not be
forgotten the add a touch of may God
have mercy on your soul really pushes
this speech over the line making it all
the more comically harsh everyone in
this room is now Dumber for having
listened to it I award you no points and
may God have mercy on your soul whoo
laughs don’t stop there though as
Billy’s response makes us laugh even
harder okay a simple wrong would have
done just fine but then way to cut a man
down in his moment of glory before we
unveil our number one pick here are some
honorable mentions last time I saw your
ass looks like about 150 pounds that you
yeah I got a question it’s Barry Manilow
know that you raid his wardrobe give you
the answer to that question mr. bender
next Saturday if Benjamin were an ice
cream flavor he’d be pralines
and dick number one French hunter Monty
Python and the Holy Grail what are you
doing in England mind your own business
Monty Python’s French Hunter has heckled
his way to the top and deservedly so
a warrior of words with a certain
genesee quoi
he sits atop the castle wall at a wait
to time when he’s able to give passing
English monarchs what for ah blow my
nose I do scorn but the cream of the
crop when it comes to his verbal
sparring
it’s a taunt from the turrets that will
stand the test of time every last word
he says is endlessly quote worthy talk –
no now go away or I shall taunt you is
second timer decades may have passed
since this classic film came out but we
still have yet to hear a better insult
then in your direction your mother was a
hamster and your father’s mate okay
so fun fact when I was in high school my
friends and I recreated some scenes for
Monty Python and the Holy Grail so I
know that movie very well and I’m very
happy that it’s number one on this list
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