[Music]
is there a barista here because this
roast just got dark it’s offensive
comedy at its finest and culture if
you’re here who’s scaring the crows away
from our crops welcome to watchmojo.com
and today we’re counting down our picks
for the top 10 funniest celebrity
Roasters for this list we’re looking at
the funniest roaster since the advent of
the medium these are the fixtures of the
celebrity roasts who’ve made the roast
EES laugh cringe or cry depending on the
nerve they hit everybody in Hollywood is
talking about it and they all saying the
same thing I think that bitch gave me
herpes we’ll be judging the comedian’s
on their entire body of roast work
rather than any specific set such
phenomenal range
you’re like the Daniel day-lewis of only
doing one thing number 10
Anthony Jeselnik you’ve convinced more
women to have abortions than the
prenatal tests for Down syndrome
Jeselnik is the head of a new generation
of Roasters the stand-up comic started
as a behind-the-scenes writer for the
David Hasselhoff roast but producers
liked his style and he was offered a
performing role at the following event
the only difference between you and
Michael Douglas from the movie Wall
Street said no one’s gonna be sad when
you get cancer the 2011 roast of Donald
Trump springboarded his comedy career as
his dark foe Psychopaths Patrick Bateman
style mixed with masterful joke writing
may Jeselnik an instant comedy celebrity
making fun of Larry King for being old
is like making fun of Marlee Matlin for
being deaf it’s fun
he made mincemeat of his fellow Roasters
and of course the Donald himself and
would apply the same technique to later
roasts of Charlie Sheen and Roseanne
Barr before moving into different
comedic ventures last year my mom should
have been celebrating her 60th birthday
but because of drugs alcohol and other
terrible decisions we all forgot number
9 Nick DiPaolo Adam Carolla you know
Adam is half Hispanic which means not
only is his last name Corolla he was
probably conceived in one meanness
personified is Nick DiPaolo a
no-holds-barred take-no-prisoners
performer whose roasts sets our leagues
above the competition operation Dumbo
drop let me ask you what at what point
when you’re reading the script did you
say I have to do this can film huh
the veteran comedian first gained
national notice as a ball butcher on the
2003 roast of Denis Leary where he
eviscerated the stage and the grumpy
leery so well that he became a roast
regular this is ironic I finally meet
the girl of my dreams and I’m shitting
on you instead of the other way or
DiPaolo made additional appearances at
the Comedy Central roasts of Jeff
Foxworthy Pamela Anderson and Larry the
Cable Guy and brought the house down
every time I saw Larry backstage of the
longface sniffing his fingers I said
what’s the matter goes I miss my family
his lesser-known
but perhaps most revered appearance was
at the Howard Stern Roast of Artie Lange
where he blurred the line between
horrifying and horrifyingly hilarious
you couldn’t be more white trash if you
were McDonald’s bagged in a dumpster
filled with Courtney Love’s tampons
number eight Amy Schumer when someone
even mentions whose line is it anyway
Carrie Fisher yells out mine after
appearing on NBC’s Last Comic Standing
several years before Amy Schumer got her
big break with the 2011 Roast of Charlie
Sheen but there is no denying how famous
you are I mean it was international news
when you ruined the lives of those two
girls living with you you know your
daughters
six million people tuned in to see the
largely unknown comedian trounced the
competition like few others could but
now I can see a girl hooking up with you
Jeff I mean I would sit on your face
just so I wouldn’t have to look at it
Schumer was both hilarious and ruthless
and her dissection of Sheen and company
but courted controversy with a joke
aimed at steve-o about his jackass
co-star Ryan Dunn sin recent death sorry
for the loss of your friend Ryan Dunn I
know you must have been thinking it
could have been me and I know we were
all thinking Lauren wasn’t it there’s no
doubt that this was the set that
propelled her career and earned her
respect as a roaster Roseanne you have
the voice of a parakeet and the face of
a much fatter parakeet you know you’re
unattractive when Sara Gilbert is the
eye candy on set Schumer later appeared
on the Roast of Roseanne Barr the
following year serving another cocktail
of razor-sharp quips before ascending to
a higher level of show business he was a
drunk he once apologized to me for
missing a volleyball game that he was at
number seven Gilbert Gottfried David
Hasselhoff walks into a bar every
morning at any station till it closes
Gilbert Godfried is perhaps best known
for his obnoxious voice but comedy fans
know him as a rare fearless genius if
only the Simpsons would wipe its ass in
front of Seth MacFarlane he could learn
to do it too
Gottfried is also a legend in roasts
dating back to the 2001 Friars Club
roast of Hugh Hefner where he made an
infamous joke about the very recent 9/11
terror attacks winding a comedic yarn as
no other performer could Gilbert weaves
outlandish stories into his act along
with sharp one-liners to create a roasts
performance unlike most Dajjal don’t
wait sense money can’t buy happiness but
it can buy the best Eastern European
horns New York City axe to wall park
Godfried was embraced by Comedy Central
for their
roasts and luckily he’s never wavered
from his offbeat and off-color style of
humor as of 2016 he’s performed at seven
of their roasts allowing comedy fans to
bask in his offensive glow they should
call him asshole Hoff number six Norma
Donald did you know instead of an
umbilical cord John was born with a
bungee cord Norma Donald made just one
roast appearance but it’s the most
conceptually hilarious set we’ve ever
seen greg Giraldo is here he has the
grace of a swan the wisdom an owl and
the eye of an eagle ladies and gentlemen
this man is for the birds
in direct response to a producer telling
him to be shocking norm decided to
borrow material from a 1950’s retirement
party book so that meant egregiously
corny and outdated jokes that countered
the brutal Comedy Central Roast formula
hey she may be a vegetarian but she’s
still full of baloney in my book I what
followed was a performance that confused
stunned and shook the audience I heard
you have hair on your chest Bob and well
let me tell you something that isn’t
your only resemblance to Rin Tin Tin as
the comic delivered benign jokes with
feigned sincerity effectively roasting
the concept of a roast sure the audience
was disoriented but the rest of the
panel was doubled over laughing as were
those viewers who were in the know about
norms abstract and provocative nature
no single roast set is more infamous or
admired he’s a good guy he’s a good guy
he’s never bought Christmas seals he
told me he wouldn’t know what to feed
them
number five Lisa Lampanelli you are the
ultimate proof that money can buy
good-looking pussy try as they might no
one can go shot-for-shot with Lisa
Lampanelli the queen of mean became
famous solely from her roast
performances which started back in 2002
at the Friars Club roast of Chevy Chase
he’s tall I love tall guys cuz I date a
little guy
in fact there might be one still inside
me lampanelli’s no boundaries sharp wit
proved to be a perfect fit and she
saddled up for ten years of near annual
roast appearances this day is stinks
usually I feel bad that guys don’t want
to pork me tonight I feel lucky her
shocking material in bold delivery had a
profound effect on her contemporaries
who had never seen a woman hold her own
so well in a male-dominated game what
are you laughing at Foxworthy with your
70s porn mustache Lampanelli would do
more than hold her own as she became the
prized attraction at the Comedy Central
roasts and a fearless master of a brutal
craft she has dated Scott Baio the
singer from poison and the drummer from
Motley Crue her life story should be a
show on vh1 called I the 80s
number four Richard Pryor sitting next
to him is a fat ugly person Richard
Pryor is often considered the greatest
stand-up comedian in history and with
his profane yet profound humor it’s no
surprise he’d be a perfect roaster next
to him is a woman whose past for white 4
years used to be a hole in Detroit Pryor
was a roast virgin when the short-lived
Richard Pryor show decided to hold a
roast he’s raised a lot of money for
young students in fact he’s paid half
the girls at the local high school to
keep their mouths shut
he sat hunched and quiet as many of
showbusiness top stars ridiculed and
insulted him including Paul Mooney and
Robin Williams all he wants is a loose
director a tight script in a warm place
to rehearse
but when Pryor was given his chance to
respond he torched the room the god of
obscene comedy left the other Roasters
in ruins and the audience in comedic
heaven as you notice he’s trying out for
a Wolf Man next week is holid hair on
his hands and
it’s obviously Jax all funny because
number three don rickles a great
politician of all time he laughs at
anything my brother died
[Music]
long before Comedy Central took over the
Dean Martin celebrity roasts were the
apex of the medium hosted by the famous
crooner the roasts were ratings
blockbusters and the king of these
events was the legendary ballbuster Don
Rickles it can be argued that Rickles is
responsible for the mean nature of
today’s roasts as no one was more brutal
in the comparatively wholesome 60s and
70s entertainment industry no topic or
person was off limits as Rickles made
fun of every facet of show business and
people laughed harder than biologically
possible I never tell the truth I
exaggerate I make fun of blacks whites
Jewish Atwell Jews based on the sheer
audience of the Dean Martin roasts it’s
likely that Don will stand as the most
popular roaster in history 30 years ago
you a handsome and now I’m gonna put
Goodyear on your face and fly over the
beach crab number two greg Giraldo you
look like King Lear got trapped in a
forest fire undeniably one of the most
hilarious Roasters of all time greg
Giraldo is an icon of the medium a
Harvard Law School graduate Geraldo
passed up a life of prestige for a life
of chicken wings and drunks on the
comedy club circuit good to see at least
I’ve never seen a circus bear in a
pantsuit before like Lampanelli
he began his televised roast career in
2002 at the Chevy Chase gala impressing
the crowd with his remarkable wit and
killer lines and he was soon
commissioned for other roasts a comedy
icon and living proof that you could
actually snort the funniness right out
of yourself from 2005 until his death in
2010 Geraldo performed at every Comedy
Central Roast a total of eight
appearances the some of which accounts
for what we can only assume is the
highest volume of roast laughs speaking
of anal wards good to see Courtney Love
here
need proof just check out the Larry the
Cable Guy Flavor Flav or Hasselhoff
roasts and doubt no more your liver is
so shriveled black and dead if you put
your ear to your side you can hear echo
what you talked about with us before we
unveil our number one pick here are some
honorable mentions seems like only
yesterday you were discovered on YouTube
time flies when you’re a piece of shit
you know most guys go to girlfriend’s
names at least hears that you know hey
blondie is not his cute nickname for you
Jonah actually gained 50 pounds for his
role in the new Marty Scorsese film
because the producers wanted the
character to be a Jonah Hill type
ghosting Smitty chase is not as easy as
shooting fish in a barrel
it’s as easy as looking at efficient
about disaster you’re always wearing
like spandex around your crotch you have
less sperm in your balls than pam has in
her mouth right now
number one Jeff Ross found Trump is such
an egomaniac he makes Hitler seem like
he wasn’t completely sure how he felt
about Jewish people with roasting as his
specialty it’s fitting that he’s been
called the meanest man in comedy
starting as a fresh-faced 33 year old at
the Friars Club roast of Drew Carey
Ross’s style was tailor-made for the
medium as he stunned everyone with a
perfect inaugural set this would launch
a career that spanned dozens of roasts
from the Friars Club to Comedy Central
if there’s a roast Ross will be there
come on man Charlie if you’re winning
then this must not be a child custody
hearing only time your kids get to see
you is in reruns he even inspired a Club
hosted roast battle circuit that’s
making waves in the industry and
launching the careers of young comedians
now Comedy Central has taken that
concept to the small screen and Ross is
the obvious architect
well he’s called the roastmaster general
for a reason Mike the ironic thing is
after all the faces you bashed in the
one you fucked up the most is your own
do you agree with our list who’s your
favorite celebrity roaster you are the
king joffrey of pop for more hilarious
top 10s published every day be sure to
subscribe to watchmojo.com hey James
knock-knock
oh he’s there I think about you when I
jerk off
you
[Music]
is there a barista here because this
roast just got dark it’s offensive
comedy at its finest and culture if
you’re here who’s scaring the crows away
from our crops welcome to watchmojo.com
and today we’re counting down our picks
for the top 10 funniest celebrity
Roasters for this list we’re looking at
the funniest roaster since the advent of
the medium these are the fixtures of the
celebrity roasts who’ve made the roast
EES laugh cringe or cry depending on the
nerve they hit everybody in Hollywood is
talking about it and they all saying the
same thing I think that bitch gave me
herpes we’ll be judging the comedian’s
on their entire body of roast work
rather than any specific set such
phenomenal range
you’re like the Daniel day-lewis of only
doing one thing number 10
Anthony Jeselnik you’ve convinced more
women to have abortions than the
prenatal tests for Down syndrome
Jeselnik is the head of a new generation
of Roasters the stand-up comic started
as a behind-the-scenes writer for the
David Hasselhoff roast but producers
liked his style and he was offered a
performing role at the following event
the only difference between you and
Michael Douglas from the movie Wall
Street said no one’s gonna be sad when
you get cancer the 2011 roast of Donald
Trump springboarded his comedy career as
his dark foe Psychopaths Patrick Bateman
style mixed with masterful joke writing
may Jeselnik an instant comedy celebrity
making fun of Larry King for being old
is like making fun of Marlee Matlin for
being deaf it’s fun
he made mincemeat of his fellow Roasters
and of course the Donald himself and
would apply the same technique to later
roasts of Charlie Sheen and Roseanne
Barr before moving into different
comedic ventures last year my mom should
have been celebrating her 60th birthday
but because of drugs alcohol and other
terrible decisions we all forgot number
9 Nick DiPaolo Adam Carolla you know
Adam is half Hispanic which means not
only is his last name Corolla he was
probably conceived in one meanness
personified is Nick DiPaolo a
no-holds-barred take-no-prisoners
performer whose roasts sets our leagues
above the competition operation Dumbo
drop let me ask you what at what point
when you’re reading the script did you
say I have to do this can film huh
the veteran comedian first gained
national notice as a ball butcher on the
2003 roast of Denis Leary where he
eviscerated the stage and the grumpy
leery so well that he became a roast
regular this is ironic I finally meet
the girl of my dreams and I’m shitting
on you instead of the other way or
DiPaolo made additional appearances at
the Comedy Central roasts of Jeff
Foxworthy Pamela Anderson and Larry the
Cable Guy and brought the house down
every time I saw Larry backstage of the
longface sniffing his fingers I said
what’s the matter goes I miss my family
his lesser-known
but perhaps most revered appearance was
at the Howard Stern Roast of Artie Lange
where he blurred the line between
horrifying and horrifyingly hilarious
you couldn’t be more white trash if you
were McDonald’s bagged in a dumpster
filled with Courtney Love’s tampons
number eight Amy Schumer when someone
even mentions whose line is it anyway
Carrie Fisher yells out mine after
appearing on NBC’s Last Comic Standing
several years before Amy Schumer got her
big break with the 2011 Roast of Charlie
Sheen but there is no denying how famous
you are I mean it was international news
when you ruined the lives of those two
girls living with you you know your
daughters
six million people tuned in to see the
largely unknown comedian trounced the
competition like few others could but
now I can see a girl hooking up with you
Jeff I mean I would sit on your face
just so I wouldn’t have to look at it
Schumer was both hilarious and ruthless
and her dissection of Sheen and company
but courted controversy with a joke
aimed at steve-o about his jackass
co-star Ryan Dunn sin recent death sorry
for the loss of your friend Ryan Dunn I
know you must have been thinking it
could have been me and I know we were
all thinking Lauren wasn’t it there’s no
doubt that this was the set that
propelled her career and earned her
respect as a roaster Roseanne you have
the voice of a parakeet and the face of
a much fatter parakeet you know you’re
unattractive when Sara Gilbert is the
eye candy on set Schumer later appeared
on the Roast of Roseanne Barr the
following year serving another cocktail
of razor-sharp quips before ascending to
a higher level of show business he was a
drunk he once apologized to me for
missing a volleyball game that he was at
number seven Gilbert Gottfried David
Hasselhoff walks into a bar every
morning at any station till it closes
Gilbert Godfried is perhaps best known
for his obnoxious voice but comedy fans
know him as a rare fearless genius if
only the Simpsons would wipe its ass in
front of Seth MacFarlane he could learn
to do it too
Gottfried is also a legend in roasts
dating back to the 2001 Friars Club
roast of Hugh Hefner where he made an
infamous joke about the very recent 9/11
terror attacks winding a comedic yarn as
no other performer could Gilbert weaves
outlandish stories into his act along
with sharp one-liners to create a roasts
performance unlike most Dajjal don’t
wait sense money can’t buy happiness but
it can buy the best Eastern European
horns New York City axe to wall park
Godfried was embraced by Comedy Central
for their
roasts and luckily he’s never wavered
from his offbeat and off-color style of
humor as of 2016 he’s performed at seven
of their roasts allowing comedy fans to
bask in his offensive glow they should
call him asshole Hoff number six Norma
Donald did you know instead of an
umbilical cord John was born with a
bungee cord Norma Donald made just one
roast appearance but it’s the most
conceptually hilarious set we’ve ever
seen greg Giraldo is here he has the
grace of a swan the wisdom an owl and
the eye of an eagle ladies and gentlemen
this man is for the birds
in direct response to a producer telling
him to be shocking norm decided to
borrow material from a 1950’s retirement
party book so that meant egregiously
corny and outdated jokes that countered
the brutal Comedy Central Roast formula
hey she may be a vegetarian but she’s
still full of baloney in my book I what
followed was a performance that confused
stunned and shook the audience I heard
you have hair on your chest Bob and well
let me tell you something that isn’t
your only resemblance to Rin Tin Tin as
the comic delivered benign jokes with
feigned sincerity effectively roasting
the concept of a roast sure the audience
was disoriented but the rest of the
panel was doubled over laughing as were
those viewers who were in the know about
norms abstract and provocative nature
no single roast set is more infamous or
admired he’s a good guy he’s a good guy
he’s never bought Christmas seals he
told me he wouldn’t know what to feed
them
number five Lisa Lampanelli you are the
ultimate proof that money can buy
good-looking pussy try as they might no
one can go shot-for-shot with Lisa
Lampanelli the queen of mean became
famous solely from her roast
performances which started back in 2002
at the Friars Club roast of Chevy Chase
he’s tall I love tall guys cuz I date a
little guy
in fact there might be one still inside
me lampanelli’s no boundaries sharp wit
proved to be a perfect fit and she
saddled up for ten years of near annual
roast appearances this day is stinks
usually I feel bad that guys don’t want
to pork me tonight I feel lucky her
shocking material in bold delivery had a
profound effect on her contemporaries
who had never seen a woman hold her own
so well in a male-dominated game what
are you laughing at Foxworthy with your
70s porn mustache Lampanelli would do
more than hold her own as she became the
prized attraction at the Comedy Central
roasts and a fearless master of a brutal
craft she has dated Scott Baio the
singer from poison and the drummer from
Motley Crue her life story should be a
show on vh1 called I the 80s
number four Richard Pryor sitting next
to him is a fat ugly person Richard
Pryor is often considered the greatest
stand-up comedian in history and with
his profane yet profound humor it’s no
surprise he’d be a perfect roaster next
to him is a woman whose past for white 4
years used to be a hole in Detroit Pryor
was a roast virgin when the short-lived
Richard Pryor show decided to hold a
roast he’s raised a lot of money for
young students in fact he’s paid half
the girls at the local high school to
keep their mouths shut
he sat hunched and quiet as many of
showbusiness top stars ridiculed and
insulted him including Paul Mooney and
Robin Williams all he wants is a loose
director a tight script in a warm place
to rehearse
but when Pryor was given his chance to
respond he torched the room the god of
obscene comedy left the other Roasters
in ruins and the audience in comedic
heaven as you notice he’s trying out for
a Wolf Man next week is holid hair on
his hands and
it’s obviously Jax all funny because
number three don rickles a great
politician of all time he laughs at
anything my brother died
[Music]
long before Comedy Central took over the
Dean Martin celebrity roasts were the
apex of the medium hosted by the famous
crooner the roasts were ratings
blockbusters and the king of these
events was the legendary ballbuster Don
Rickles it can be argued that Rickles is
responsible for the mean nature of
today’s roasts as no one was more brutal
in the comparatively wholesome 60s and
70s entertainment industry no topic or
person was off limits as Rickles made
fun of every facet of show business and
people laughed harder than biologically
possible I never tell the truth I
exaggerate I make fun of blacks whites
Jewish Atwell Jews based on the sheer
audience of the Dean Martin roasts it’s
likely that Don will stand as the most
popular roaster in history 30 years ago
you a handsome and now I’m gonna put
Goodyear on your face and fly over the
beach crab number two greg Giraldo you
look like King Lear got trapped in a
forest fire undeniably one of the most
hilarious Roasters of all time greg
Giraldo is an icon of the medium a
Harvard Law School graduate Geraldo
passed up a life of prestige for a life
of chicken wings and drunks on the
comedy club circuit good to see at least
I’ve never seen a circus bear in a
pantsuit before like Lampanelli
he began his televised roast career in
2002 at the Chevy Chase gala impressing
the crowd with his remarkable wit and
killer lines and he was soon
commissioned for other roasts a comedy
icon and living proof that you could
actually snort the funniness right out
of yourself from 2005 until his death in
2010 Geraldo performed at every Comedy
Central Roast a total of eight
appearances the some of which accounts
for what we can only assume is the
highest volume of roast laughs speaking
of anal wards good to see Courtney Love
here
need proof just check out the Larry the
Cable Guy Flavor Flav or Hasselhoff
roasts and doubt no more your liver is
so shriveled black and dead if you put
your ear to your side you can hear echo
what you talked about with us before we
unveil our number one pick here are some
honorable mentions seems like only
yesterday you were discovered on YouTube
time flies when you’re a piece of shit
you know most guys go to girlfriend’s
names at least hears that you know hey
blondie is not his cute nickname for you
Jonah actually gained 50 pounds for his
role in the new Marty Scorsese film
because the producers wanted the
character to be a Jonah Hill type
ghosting Smitty chase is not as easy as
shooting fish in a barrel
it’s as easy as looking at efficient
about disaster you’re always wearing
like spandex around your crotch you have
less sperm in your balls than pam has in
her mouth right now
number one Jeff Ross found Trump is such
an egomaniac he makes Hitler seem like
he wasn’t completely sure how he felt
about Jewish people with roasting as his
specialty it’s fitting that he’s been
called the meanest man in comedy
starting as a fresh-faced 33 year old at
the Friars Club roast of Drew Carey
Ross’s style was tailor-made for the
medium as he stunned everyone with a
perfect inaugural set this would launch
a career that spanned dozens of roasts
from the Friars Club to Comedy Central
if there’s a roast Ross will be there
come on man Charlie if you’re winning
then this must not be a child custody
hearing only time your kids get to see
you is in reruns he even inspired a Club
hosted roast battle circuit that’s
making waves in the industry and
launching the careers of young comedians
now Comedy Central has taken that
concept to the small screen and Ross is
the obvious architect
well he’s called the roastmaster general
for a reason Mike the ironic thing is
after all the faces you bashed in the
one you fucked up the most is your own
do you agree with our list who’s your
favorite celebrity roaster you are the
king joffrey of pop for more hilarious
top 10s published every day be sure to
subscribe to watchmojo.com hey James
knock-knock
oh he’s there I think about you when I
jerk off
you
[Music]
Please follow and like us: