he’s the articulate alliterative analyst
whose mouth moves a mile a minute never
stick your dick in a pudding it might
still be good pudding and you can spend
all afternoon explaining that but no
one’s going to eat it because you stuck
your dick in it
welcome to watchmojo.com and today we’re
counting down our picks for the top 10
zero punctuation episodes before we
begin we publish new videos every day so
be sure to subscribe for more great
content for this list we’re looking at
the funniest and most memorable episodes
of this popular and unique game review
web series hosted by ben yahzee crow
Shaw published by escapist I guess that
means this review is a bit shorter than
normal so here’s something else to fill
the time number 10 ride to hell
retribution yes the biker themed
action-adventure melee to tier IV by Kia
fare sort of like full throttle without
absolutely zero self-awareness as if a
game of such deplorable ‘ti could escape
Yossi’s gaze sharing a distaste for the
title with many of his fellow critics
Yahtzee hilariously peels back the
layers about what makes this title so
damn bad to begin with ripping apart
everything from the music to the combat
to the cringe inducing sex scenes as you
might expect it’s filled with his
signature metaphors and dark humor for
example I do not know how the hell ride
to heck go clear to release unless the
entire QA team simultaneously resigned
to start a shotgun tasting business and
compares the in-game sex to fish people
fondling each other via navel ring
entanglement and yet he still wants
everyone to buy it just to witness the
travesty for themselves
we should have mass screenings of it get
everyone to dress up put upside down
peddle bins on their heads and then beat
their wives
number 9 Fallout New Vegas there’s one
interesting new Peter though hardcore
mode which have the need to regularly
eat sleep and drink while traveling
which sounded like fun in a bear grylls
II kind of way and this is a
role-playing game so let’s mother fing
roleplay this one’s a little different
since we actually get insight into how
yahtzee’s personal gaming experience
went in a game like Fallout where player
choice is everything we have expected to
be treated to a grand tale of survival
instead we got a hilarious recollection
of Yossi’s personal courier suffering
all manner of horrendous encounters this
includes constantly losing limbs
murdering his way to new Vegas only to
have the game crash on him moments after
it’s fair to say he didn’t exactly have
the best time on the strip welcome in
the doctor’s office with some guy
telling me I’ve been shot in the head
and may have suffered brain damage but
I’ve learned not to trust the opinion of
giant mustachioed spider people so I
made my excuses unless number 8 final
fantasy 13 I suppose I could have held
off for another way to play it some more
but the thing is I don’t want to uh ya
see quickly explains newcomers to this
expansive franchise may not want to pick
13 as their first entry to dive in due
to his commitment with opening his own
venue he admits that he only had a
chance to play five hours of it in total
oh but what a magical five hours they
were he comes down hard on the character
archetypes even comparing them to the
Final Fantasy equivalent of the Spice
Girls he has no idea what the plot is
hours in and also has huge issues with
disconnected gameplay if there’s a game
that can turn yahtzee’s opinion on JRPGs
around it isn’t this one some people
have told me that ff13 gets good about
20 hours in you know that’s not really a
point in its favor right put your hand
on a stove for 20 hours and yeah I’ll
probably stop feeling the pain but
you’ll have done serious damage to
yourself
number 7 Animal Crossing new leaf your
lower part of the brain a blue tiled
roof probably would solve our constant
crushing sense of emptiness oh gods dah
while many find the serenity of this hit
3ds title innocent and charming in
nature you can always count on Yaffe to
take a seemingly inoffensive concept and
refer to it as an exercise and
existential horror but we’ll be damned
if he doesn’t back it up with some
rather morbid yet hilarious evidence
existing with nothing to strive for is
no existence at all a life free of debt
you naive fool
death is your life despite finding some
aspects rather obnoxious Yahtzee does
eventually concede that even he can fall
victim to it’s addictive features well
one thing’s for sure you won’t be able
to play the game again without hearing
the word pawnshop ringing in your ears
oh thank you for this thoughtful gift of
a lovely sofa goose woman doesn’t go
with my place but it would just look
perfect at the pawnshop
number 6 The Witcher what quickly
becomes obvious is that which is very
much a PC exclusive game which are
typically designed to be as complex and
unintuitive as possible so that those
dirty console playing peasants don’t
ruin it for the glorious PC gaming
master race hee-haw
the episode that gave birth to the now
infamous memes known as PC master-race
so thanks for that yes regardless the
game that would one day give us the
excellent Witcher 3 Wild Hunt left quite
the impression on our host and not a
good one he actually found it so boring
complicated and padded city couldn’t
stomach more than a couple of hours not
sure the same can be said for the
abundance of sex scenes he had within
those few hours though this is a
monopoly a single player member will get
with no alliance dipshit t-bag in your
corpse but in the more good nonetheless
number 5 Resident Evil 5 so I was
watching someone beat their fists
against the wall then running off to
hospital before coming back to do it
some more
and they used my medical insurance and
it’s my wall sorry Sheva
yeah see is not a fan more rather he’s
not a fan of your less than stellar AI
prior to this review Yahtzee had
constantly made fun of Capcom’s
unintentional racism in videos and yet
the racism issue only scratches the
surface of this games problem throwing
Chevys mismanaged AI capabilities an
inventory system he more than lows and
what he feels to be a lack of creativity
and there was little chance this one was
going to get a glowing review however
now it’s kind of impossible to unsee
Chris Redfield as part bridge Mahiro his
old hand Chris Redfield whose tiny dorky
head on absurdly muscled body looks like
someone left a chia pet on top of the
fridge number 4 mailbag showdown well
it’s certainly not you because you just
been upgrade it’s a dickhead and a
presumptuous dickhead of that for every
piece of criticism there will always be
those who rebuke it given that Yahtzee
crochet has verbally eviscerated popular
games with huge fan bases it’s not hard
to imagine that some overly devoted fans
would throw negative messages his way
well this is the episode where he bites
back all those poor souls as the hate
comments flood in largely due to a
previous Super Smash Brothers Brawl
review yeah see does what he does best
he breaks them down and deflects the
messages with some good old visceral wit
I’m not a fanboy as you are we’re not
sure who got burned worse by the end of
it the commenters or the 7th generation
consoles the way is an excitable little
yappy bastard good with children but a
little exhausting the ps3 is a big
dependable black monster slow but
lovingly bringing in your slippers every
morning and the 360 is just a good
all-round
only occasionally pisses itself and dies
number three the orange box if you like
blazing action peppered with variety and
cleverness you could do a hell of a lot
worse than half-life 2 episode 2
Manchester United mill this was the
review that made 0 punctuation the
breakout success it is today you’ll see
boom at the time was considered a critic
that hated everything actually praised
the games in this package causing the
episode to go viral it ended up
attracting millions of views and even
earned Yahtzee a plane ticket from valve
to visit their headquarters in Bellevue
Washington which is pretty extravagant
considering he was living in Australia
at the time and it’s not hard to see why
this video became so popular as he uses
his signature dry wit in unique and
creative ways to complement the
collection especially portal which he
claims has no fault please how’s that
for praise absolutely sublime from start
to finish and I will jam Forks into my
eyes if I ever use those words describe
anything else ever again number 2
Wolfenstein in the tumultuous time
before d-day there once was a man named
BJ with chocolate box hair and a face
like a bear and a jacket he picked up on
ebay while the game in and of itself is
a pretty poor entry in the franchise as
a whole what really makes this a jewel
of an episode is yahtzee’s bizarre yet
oh so welcomed decision to review it in
the form of a limerick
not only did Yahtzee show up a little of
his inner poet he also manages to
dissect what amounts to a frustrating
and generic title in such a hilariously
creative way that listening to him spit
out a couple of rhymes is better than
actually playing the game it’s almost a
shame that Wolfenstein the new order was
so good otherwise we might have gotten a
second edition well if you like starting
punch ups in bars or your head has been
bobbed up your ass will can finally give
at least some toy to bear but the wise
don’t bother to stars before we reveal
our number one pick here are some
honorable mentions the fact that fable
is allowed following is like the
existence of the appendix of the
biological compulsion to have 18 pigs
that is glue to the rednecks it’s one of
the little things about humanity I find
completely incomprehensible though we
didn’t make it in time so they were
going to make me do their whole being
mission again as the exasperated Chinese
zookeeper said to the last male panda in
the world that girl I just love killing
stuff they cry to fill every awkward
silence all the alive things are better
watch out because I’m the best – killing
stuff you don’t even know
and he just found one of them to go
could we talk about something else for
one fleeting second number one you can
you come forever well I don’t want to
spoil too much I was extremely moved by
the scene in which Duke tively reunited
his daughter eventually puts on a bikini
and dry humps his legs during the days
when it seemed like Duke Nukem Forever
was never going to be released yes II
took it upon himself to craft a mock
review that pokes fun at all the hype
surrounding the elusive title
aside from ad-libbing levels that in all
fairness sound way more fun than what we
actually got in the 2011 release he
manages to poke fun at the studio the
fandom and even Duke as a character with
satirical praise honestly it’s kind of a
shame they didn’t give Yahtzee creative
control of the game
couldn’t it turned out worse than what
we eventually got but anyway the point
was I’m just glad I don’t live in the
world where such scenarios exist now I
better stop here because I promised
Jimmy Hendrix that we’d go pony trekking
under the sea do you agree with our
picks check out these other great clips
from WatchMojo and subscribe for new
videos every day
[Music]
whose mouth moves a mile a minute never
stick your dick in a pudding it might
still be good pudding and you can spend
all afternoon explaining that but no
one’s going to eat it because you stuck
your dick in it
welcome to watchmojo.com and today we’re
counting down our picks for the top 10
zero punctuation episodes before we
begin we publish new videos every day so
be sure to subscribe for more great
content for this list we’re looking at
the funniest and most memorable episodes
of this popular and unique game review
web series hosted by ben yahzee crow
Shaw published by escapist I guess that
means this review is a bit shorter than
normal so here’s something else to fill
the time number 10 ride to hell
retribution yes the biker themed
action-adventure melee to tier IV by Kia
fare sort of like full throttle without
absolutely zero self-awareness as if a
game of such deplorable ‘ti could escape
Yossi’s gaze sharing a distaste for the
title with many of his fellow critics
Yahtzee hilariously peels back the
layers about what makes this title so
damn bad to begin with ripping apart
everything from the music to the combat
to the cringe inducing sex scenes as you
might expect it’s filled with his
signature metaphors and dark humor for
example I do not know how the hell ride
to heck go clear to release unless the
entire QA team simultaneously resigned
to start a shotgun tasting business and
compares the in-game sex to fish people
fondling each other via navel ring
entanglement and yet he still wants
everyone to buy it just to witness the
travesty for themselves
we should have mass screenings of it get
everyone to dress up put upside down
peddle bins on their heads and then beat
their wives
number 9 Fallout New Vegas there’s one
interesting new Peter though hardcore
mode which have the need to regularly
eat sleep and drink while traveling
which sounded like fun in a bear grylls
II kind of way and this is a
role-playing game so let’s mother fing
roleplay this one’s a little different
since we actually get insight into how
yahtzee’s personal gaming experience
went in a game like Fallout where player
choice is everything we have expected to
be treated to a grand tale of survival
instead we got a hilarious recollection
of Yossi’s personal courier suffering
all manner of horrendous encounters this
includes constantly losing limbs
murdering his way to new Vegas only to
have the game crash on him moments after
it’s fair to say he didn’t exactly have
the best time on the strip welcome in
the doctor’s office with some guy
telling me I’ve been shot in the head
and may have suffered brain damage but
I’ve learned not to trust the opinion of
giant mustachioed spider people so I
made my excuses unless number 8 final
fantasy 13 I suppose I could have held
off for another way to play it some more
but the thing is I don’t want to uh ya
see quickly explains newcomers to this
expansive franchise may not want to pick
13 as their first entry to dive in due
to his commitment with opening his own
venue he admits that he only had a
chance to play five hours of it in total
oh but what a magical five hours they
were he comes down hard on the character
archetypes even comparing them to the
Final Fantasy equivalent of the Spice
Girls he has no idea what the plot is
hours in and also has huge issues with
disconnected gameplay if there’s a game
that can turn yahtzee’s opinion on JRPGs
around it isn’t this one some people
have told me that ff13 gets good about
20 hours in you know that’s not really a
point in its favor right put your hand
on a stove for 20 hours and yeah I’ll
probably stop feeling the pain but
you’ll have done serious damage to
yourself
number 7 Animal Crossing new leaf your
lower part of the brain a blue tiled
roof probably would solve our constant
crushing sense of emptiness oh gods dah
while many find the serenity of this hit
3ds title innocent and charming in
nature you can always count on Yaffe to
take a seemingly inoffensive concept and
refer to it as an exercise and
existential horror but we’ll be damned
if he doesn’t back it up with some
rather morbid yet hilarious evidence
existing with nothing to strive for is
no existence at all a life free of debt
you naive fool
death is your life despite finding some
aspects rather obnoxious Yahtzee does
eventually concede that even he can fall
victim to it’s addictive features well
one thing’s for sure you won’t be able
to play the game again without hearing
the word pawnshop ringing in your ears
oh thank you for this thoughtful gift of
a lovely sofa goose woman doesn’t go
with my place but it would just look
perfect at the pawnshop
number 6 The Witcher what quickly
becomes obvious is that which is very
much a PC exclusive game which are
typically designed to be as complex and
unintuitive as possible so that those
dirty console playing peasants don’t
ruin it for the glorious PC gaming
master race hee-haw
the episode that gave birth to the now
infamous memes known as PC master-race
so thanks for that yes regardless the
game that would one day give us the
excellent Witcher 3 Wild Hunt left quite
the impression on our host and not a
good one he actually found it so boring
complicated and padded city couldn’t
stomach more than a couple of hours not
sure the same can be said for the
abundance of sex scenes he had within
those few hours though this is a
monopoly a single player member will get
with no alliance dipshit t-bag in your
corpse but in the more good nonetheless
number 5 Resident Evil 5 so I was
watching someone beat their fists
against the wall then running off to
hospital before coming back to do it
some more
and they used my medical insurance and
it’s my wall sorry Sheva
yeah see is not a fan more rather he’s
not a fan of your less than stellar AI
prior to this review Yahtzee had
constantly made fun of Capcom’s
unintentional racism in videos and yet
the racism issue only scratches the
surface of this games problem throwing
Chevys mismanaged AI capabilities an
inventory system he more than lows and
what he feels to be a lack of creativity
and there was little chance this one was
going to get a glowing review however
now it’s kind of impossible to unsee
Chris Redfield as part bridge Mahiro his
old hand Chris Redfield whose tiny dorky
head on absurdly muscled body looks like
someone left a chia pet on top of the
fridge number 4 mailbag showdown well
it’s certainly not you because you just
been upgrade it’s a dickhead and a
presumptuous dickhead of that for every
piece of criticism there will always be
those who rebuke it given that Yahtzee
crochet has verbally eviscerated popular
games with huge fan bases it’s not hard
to imagine that some overly devoted fans
would throw negative messages his way
well this is the episode where he bites
back all those poor souls as the hate
comments flood in largely due to a
previous Super Smash Brothers Brawl
review yeah see does what he does best
he breaks them down and deflects the
messages with some good old visceral wit
I’m not a fanboy as you are we’re not
sure who got burned worse by the end of
it the commenters or the 7th generation
consoles the way is an excitable little
yappy bastard good with children but a
little exhausting the ps3 is a big
dependable black monster slow but
lovingly bringing in your slippers every
morning and the 360 is just a good
all-round
only occasionally pisses itself and dies
number three the orange box if you like
blazing action peppered with variety and
cleverness you could do a hell of a lot
worse than half-life 2 episode 2
Manchester United mill this was the
review that made 0 punctuation the
breakout success it is today you’ll see
boom at the time was considered a critic
that hated everything actually praised
the games in this package causing the
episode to go viral it ended up
attracting millions of views and even
earned Yahtzee a plane ticket from valve
to visit their headquarters in Bellevue
Washington which is pretty extravagant
considering he was living in Australia
at the time and it’s not hard to see why
this video became so popular as he uses
his signature dry wit in unique and
creative ways to complement the
collection especially portal which he
claims has no fault please how’s that
for praise absolutely sublime from start
to finish and I will jam Forks into my
eyes if I ever use those words describe
anything else ever again number 2
Wolfenstein in the tumultuous time
before d-day there once was a man named
BJ with chocolate box hair and a face
like a bear and a jacket he picked up on
ebay while the game in and of itself is
a pretty poor entry in the franchise as
a whole what really makes this a jewel
of an episode is yahtzee’s bizarre yet
oh so welcomed decision to review it in
the form of a limerick
not only did Yahtzee show up a little of
his inner poet he also manages to
dissect what amounts to a frustrating
and generic title in such a hilariously
creative way that listening to him spit
out a couple of rhymes is better than
actually playing the game it’s almost a
shame that Wolfenstein the new order was
so good otherwise we might have gotten a
second edition well if you like starting
punch ups in bars or your head has been
bobbed up your ass will can finally give
at least some toy to bear but the wise
don’t bother to stars before we reveal
our number one pick here are some
honorable mentions the fact that fable
is allowed following is like the
existence of the appendix of the
biological compulsion to have 18 pigs
that is glue to the rednecks it’s one of
the little things about humanity I find
completely incomprehensible though we
didn’t make it in time so they were
going to make me do their whole being
mission again as the exasperated Chinese
zookeeper said to the last male panda in
the world that girl I just love killing
stuff they cry to fill every awkward
silence all the alive things are better
watch out because I’m the best – killing
stuff you don’t even know
and he just found one of them to go
could we talk about something else for
one fleeting second number one you can
you come forever well I don’t want to
spoil too much I was extremely moved by
the scene in which Duke tively reunited
his daughter eventually puts on a bikini
and dry humps his legs during the days
when it seemed like Duke Nukem Forever
was never going to be released yes II
took it upon himself to craft a mock
review that pokes fun at all the hype
surrounding the elusive title
aside from ad-libbing levels that in all
fairness sound way more fun than what we
actually got in the 2011 release he
manages to poke fun at the studio the
fandom and even Duke as a character with
satirical praise honestly it’s kind of a
shame they didn’t give Yahtzee creative
control of the game
couldn’t it turned out worse than what
we eventually got but anyway the point
was I’m just glad I don’t live in the
world where such scenarios exist now I
better stop here because I promised
Jimmy Hendrix that we’d go pony trekking
under the sea do you agree with our
picks check out these other great clips
from WatchMojo and subscribe for new
videos every day
[Music]
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