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Top 10 Barney Stinson Pick-Up Lines

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welcome to and today we’re
counting down our picks for the top 10
Barney Stinson pick ups from How I Met
Your Mother
once again I’m Lorenzo von Matterhorn I
spelled like it sounds to tease Lorenzo
von Matterhorn
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this list we’re looking at the best
pick-up lines and schemes used by the
incorrigibles on dog Barney Stinson on
How I Met Your Mother
we’re ranking them based on how funny or
entertaining they are and we’ll be
excluding lines he uses in his capacity
number 10 the don’t drink that
everything from basic moves like that
don’t drink that lots of guys have
certain lines they like to use on women
time and time again but Barney Stinson
wrote the book on the subject literally
his so called playbook contains a myriad
of hilarious and elaborate pickup lines
which also make up the majority of our
entries here don’t drink that
I saw some guys slip something in there
the first of these is the don’t drink
that which involves Barney warning a
girl not to drink from a glass claiming
to have seen another guy slip something
into it thereby instantly coming across
as a white knight the fact that in this
instance he throws Ted under the bus in
the process of selling it just makes it
funnier Thank You number nine the
airport pick up first we got to pick
someone up at the airport okay that’s
about doors in this episode
Barney proposes a legendary night
between him and Ted for starters they
need to pick someone up at the airport
but not in the traditional sense we mean
the Barney way wait so when you said you
were going to pick someone up at the
airport you meant you were going to pick
someone up at the airport pretending to
be international businessmen Barney soon
drags Ted on a series of events that end
with them licking the Liberty Bell go
lick the Liberty Bell good because we’re
while not Barney’s most successful
scheme although it is implied he’s done
it in multiple times his and Ted’s
Airport caper is one of the first times
viewers got to see just how far Barney
was willing to go in the name of a
hookup in this case it was Philadelphia
so what brings you guys to Philly we’re
visiting our boyfriends I think we’re
just gonna propose this weekend great so
number eight call an ambulance are you
doing this or what she’s Barney don’t do
this I have to it’s my birthday present
to Ted as a favor to Ted on his birthday
Barney tries this ridiculous pick-up
line which involves him approaching a
woman acting as if she’s injured asking
for 900 to be called call it an
ambulance and then once the paramedics
have arrived saying that he could have
sworn she fell from heaven because she’s
an angel you’ve had a terrible fall no I
haven’t really cuz I could swear you
fell straight out of heaven
he then eggs the crowd on for them to
absurd and cheesy is all get out this
pickup puts an over-the-top Barney level
spin on a tired line just don’t try it
at home maybe she really does have a
brain injury thank you everyone thank
you everyone it’s been fun it’s Wendy
the waitress tipper well number seven
the he’s not coming I will be performing
the he’s not coming returning to the
playbook here we have a scheme that sees
Barney going to the top of the Empire
State Building whose observation deck is
a famed locale for reunions between lost
lovers here he tells women that he’s not
coming there by allowing him to swoop in
to comfort them about their supposedly
callous former man he’s not coming what
are you talking about nevermind although
it makes Barney come across as a
complete scumbag for breaking up couples
and possibly true love in the name of a
one-night stand this pick up strategy is
so utterly audacious creative and
dastardly that we still can’t help but
laugh at it
number six the snåsa wow you’re an
many of Barney’s pickup strategies are
master classes in overcomplicated lies
and manipulations this is not one of
those in the snåsa Barney tells a girl
that he’s an astronaut who works for a
secret version of the space program NASA
or snåsa and that he goes on missions to
the secret moon or spoon not the moon
you’re familiar with though I have been
to the smooth though quite possibly the
lamest and most easily seen through play
in the playbook that’s also what makes
this NASA so memorably silly when his
natural charisma and a gullible target
Barney still manages to sell it pretty
number-5 daddy’s home what’s our big
opening line I was daddy’s home another
early one first demonstrated during the
infamous pineapple incident
Barney tries to convince Ted to approach
a group of women and pick them up with
the line daddy’s home at first it
appears successful with Barney returning
with a number and a name then daddy
wouldn’t have gotten this seven digit
Father’s Day card from Amy what however
it’s later revealed to have been a
failure with Barney writing the number
himself to prove a point to Ted daddy’s
and granddaddy settlement tonight
rocks so Barney’s always up for turning
his fortunes around though and
thereafter he frequently uses daddy’s
home as a line upon entering a room
daddy’s home or just to indicate that
he’s cruising for chicks
cue the Peter Gunn theme
daddy’s home number four the Lorenzo von
Matterhorn to perform the Lorenzo von
Matterhorn here’s what you’ll need basic
knowledge of website design and a very
unique fake name we’re getting into the
best of the best now for this playbook
plan Barney sets up a series of fake
websites and articles detailing the life
of a fictional alias with the eponymous
bizarre / awesome name
he then pretends to be surprised that a
girly tries to pick up who happens to
have a phone doesn’t recognize him
I’m Lorenzo von Matterhorn he goes away
for a bit to give her a chance to look
him up and see how famous and/or
well-endowed Barney supposedly is which
causes her to eagerly accept when he
returns to ask her out that ladies and
gentlemen is commitment can I buy you a
cup of coffee yes what does coffee go
for these days fifty dollars and it is
on number three bang to the future you
there what’s your name your name woman
what’s your name speaking of commitment
mr. Stinson’s sure can’t sell a
character donning old man makeup barney
tells a woman at a bar that he’s on a
mission from the future proving it with
a prediction with a little help from his
friends the future the future and I can
prove it to you in exactly four seconds
the woman at that booth is going to slap
he then goes on to claim that in order
for his younger self to stop global
warming in the future she must sleep
with him that’s hype with Barney Stinson
tonight in whatever way he wants it or
he won’t be able to find the solution to
global warming that saves the human race
after rushing back to his time machine
Barney then returns after removing his
makeup and amazingly the plan works
whatever else he is barney is a
fantastic actor and has a very inventive
imagination oh my god can I buy you a
I suppose I have time for one drink and
45 minutes to an hour of some other
activity number two the scuba diver step
tell him meddlesome female friend about
the playbook step two run a play on one
of her co-workers making her so angry
she steals the playbook our final entry
from the playbook this is arguably its
greatest and most elaborate scheme of
all to achieve it
Barney first reveals the playbook to
Lily he then uses a play on one of
Lily’s friends causing her to try to
sabotage him when he tries to pull a
play called the scuba diver on a girl by
warning his target about the playbook
when Lily and the girl asked what the
scuba diver is take off your mask
give them some spiel about your
deep-seated insecurities which don’t
really exist because let’s face it
you’re awesome
Barney then tells Lily about his
supposed insecurities which leads her to
talk him up to the girl instead
fulfilling his goal of going out with
the girl in a sequence of events so
convoluted we can’t help but applaud
this masterpiece the work of a mad man
though it might be and it is before we
get to our number one entry if you’re a
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more and now back to our list number one
do you like magic what a magic tricks
specifically those involving fire actor
Neil Patrick Harris is a trained
magician in real life and his talent is
integrated into the show throughout the
Barney performs many feats of
legerdemain and other tricks do you like
however in keeping with his personality
his overuse of it is a bit unhealthy at
least if his friends intervention is
anything to go by naturally barney also
uses magic to impress women and perhaps
his most impressive trick involves him
asking a girl if she likes magic
throwing and catching a fireball and
then revealing her exact responses
written on his hands making for a truly
magical pick-up line Amy do you like
magic I hate you I am so sorry this
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