hi welcome to watchmojo.com I’m world
famous comedian John Hastings and ladies
and gentlemen I have found hell hell is
not under the ground as was foretold by
the Christians or up in the sky as
foretold by the Egyptians no ladies and
gentlemen hell is on earth and not
surprisingly hell was created by a guy
who really likes computers yes hell is
the apple store I know what you’re
thinking but John I love the apple store
they have feist they have justin long
they have pretty girls dancing around
and neon t-shirts asking how may I help
you sir how may I help you we’ll have
you spent any large amount of time in an
apple store because pretty soon the
sound of an apple computer turning on in
Justin Lansing hahahahaha these days and
suddenly you’re standing in front of
Paris Hilton on a pillar of fire and she
says yes I am the one who is the dark
one ttyn talk to you never yes I had to
go into this hellish place because you
see I had broken my ipod I’d identified
the problem the problem was it was
broken the solution was it’s under
warranty give me a new one so I walk in
and one of the neon lady says of course
we’d love to help you but I can’t help
you you need to talk to the genius
anyone who’s professionally known as the
genius is an asshole remember that so I
say perfect let me speak to the genius
air quotes were included in the actual
situation and they say I’m sorry the
genius is busy so say when can I see the
genius and maybe can I see the Wizard of
Oz too and i say i’ll just make an
appointment sir no need for the attitude
well i make an appointment i come back
at the arranged time and the genius is
running late remember what I said about
genius is being assholes case in point
if he’s such a genius how can he be late
he should be able to predict something
like this
so I wait fire and imagery of children
crying and all sorts of other hellish
demonic things running through my mind
when finally I’m called before the
genius I was unaware prerequisite to be
a genius was 400 pounds an intimate
knowledge of Star Trek and dorito stains
upon their hands but he looked at my
ipod and he says do you have a warranty
I say yes do you want a new one I say
yes he hands me a new ipod and I leave
just as I had predicted so just a
reminder kids by Microsoft and stay away
from these guys for the Internet I’m
John Hastings
famous comedian John Hastings and ladies
and gentlemen I have found hell hell is
not under the ground as was foretold by
the Christians or up in the sky as
foretold by the Egyptians no ladies and
gentlemen hell is on earth and not
surprisingly hell was created by a guy
who really likes computers yes hell is
the apple store I know what you’re
thinking but John I love the apple store
they have feist they have justin long
they have pretty girls dancing around
and neon t-shirts asking how may I help
you sir how may I help you we’ll have
you spent any large amount of time in an
apple store because pretty soon the
sound of an apple computer turning on in
Justin Lansing hahahahaha these days and
suddenly you’re standing in front of
Paris Hilton on a pillar of fire and she
says yes I am the one who is the dark
one ttyn talk to you never yes I had to
go into this hellish place because you
see I had broken my ipod I’d identified
the problem the problem was it was
broken the solution was it’s under
warranty give me a new one so I walk in
and one of the neon lady says of course
we’d love to help you but I can’t help
you you need to talk to the genius
anyone who’s professionally known as the
genius is an asshole remember that so I
say perfect let me speak to the genius
air quotes were included in the actual
situation and they say I’m sorry the
genius is busy so say when can I see the
genius and maybe can I see the Wizard of
Oz too and i say i’ll just make an
appointment sir no need for the attitude
well i make an appointment i come back
at the arranged time and the genius is
running late remember what I said about
genius is being assholes case in point
if he’s such a genius how can he be late
he should be able to predict something
like this
so I wait fire and imagery of children
crying and all sorts of other hellish
demonic things running through my mind
when finally I’m called before the
genius I was unaware prerequisite to be
a genius was 400 pounds an intimate
knowledge of Star Trek and dorito stains
upon their hands but he looked at my
ipod and he says do you have a warranty
I say yes do you want a new one I say
yes he hands me a new ipod and I leave
just as I had predicted so just a
reminder kids by Microsoft and stay away
from these guys for the Internet I’m
John Hastings
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