I have two rules that guide me through
this world number one I follow the good
word of the Lord Jesus Christ and number
two I bang his minute bitches as I can
our next ads is from the UK which stands
for England you ever orgasm so hard that
your legs curl up like when Dorothy
dropped the house on that winch bragging
you had sex with a prostitute is like
bragging that you got some Doritos from
a vending machine the first guy that
persuaded a blind person they needed
sunglasses he must have been a hell of a
Salesman I don’t like throwing out the
pickle juice it just feels wasteful so
Lily I’ve been dipping my fingers in the
pickle juice and then I flick it on my
sandwiches for flavor like that oh you I
can’t already kill yourself I wish
vampires were real if I have me a
vampire boyfriend it will be off the
chain it’s three to seven days bullshit
be 24 hours I’ll be like a vampire Eddie
you hungry
I hope you don’t feel like I’m wasting
your time tonight I’ve been addicted to
drugs and alcohol okay you can’t compare
sex addiction to something like that
it’s horseshit nobody ends up so sex
addicted that they’re crying on the
floor of their bedroom curled up the
fetal position watching spiders rise up
from the pattern in the carpet and you
know they’re not there but you can’t
make it stop cuz you haven’t slept in
four days and you can’t calm down cuz
Julio won’t pick up the phone I thought
it would be romantic to take my
girlfriend back to where we first met
but she said don’t let me go back there
mr. Jimmy I’ll cook I clean I be better
I loved my grandfather like I like a
brother I mean I I really did like a
like a grandfather but older like I
loved him like he was a priest without
touching he had that skeevy breath you
know I go give give me a kiss boy here’s
a quarter it’s gonna take you 12 quarter
Grandpop together to get a kiss out of
good kid like me I gotta tell you breath
smells like stale whiskey and wine the
beard I hate it when a man precious
their beard against me I mean you know I
had to make it through college to like a
lot of you but I’m talking about talking
about without getting paid for you know
I mean whenever I’m cooking I always
make sure there are vegetarian options
they can make do or they can cough why
did you bring up now that’s true we got
reg another 1d you giving a rich make
sure you do shit a lot of dudes in my
neighborhood damn handlebar mustache
which is cool you want to have a
handlebar mustache but don’t try to have
a conversation with me like you don’t
have a handlebar mustache and try to
talk about regular stuff like music and
politics like dude you got a handlebar
mustache Oliver you talk about in
slinkies and kazoos and that’s it talk
about kazoos for 15 minutes do you ha
put unicycle and juggle you carnival
face mother you’re not creepy with a
mustache you’re not but like you’d be
less creepy without one
this world number one I follow the good
word of the Lord Jesus Christ and number
two I bang his minute bitches as I can
our next ads is from the UK which stands
for England you ever orgasm so hard that
your legs curl up like when Dorothy
dropped the house on that winch bragging
you had sex with a prostitute is like
bragging that you got some Doritos from
a vending machine the first guy that
persuaded a blind person they needed
sunglasses he must have been a hell of a
Salesman I don’t like throwing out the
pickle juice it just feels wasteful so
Lily I’ve been dipping my fingers in the
pickle juice and then I flick it on my
sandwiches for flavor like that oh you I
can’t already kill yourself I wish
vampires were real if I have me a
vampire boyfriend it will be off the
chain it’s three to seven days bullshit
be 24 hours I’ll be like a vampire Eddie
you hungry
I hope you don’t feel like I’m wasting
your time tonight I’ve been addicted to
drugs and alcohol okay you can’t compare
sex addiction to something like that
it’s horseshit nobody ends up so sex
addicted that they’re crying on the
floor of their bedroom curled up the
fetal position watching spiders rise up
from the pattern in the carpet and you
know they’re not there but you can’t
make it stop cuz you haven’t slept in
four days and you can’t calm down cuz
Julio won’t pick up the phone I thought
it would be romantic to take my
girlfriend back to where we first met
but she said don’t let me go back there
mr. Jimmy I’ll cook I clean I be better
I loved my grandfather like I like a
brother I mean I I really did like a
like a grandfather but older like I
loved him like he was a priest without
touching he had that skeevy breath you
know I go give give me a kiss boy here’s
a quarter it’s gonna take you 12 quarter
Grandpop together to get a kiss out of
good kid like me I gotta tell you breath
smells like stale whiskey and wine the
beard I hate it when a man precious
their beard against me I mean you know I
had to make it through college to like a
lot of you but I’m talking about talking
about without getting paid for you know
I mean whenever I’m cooking I always
make sure there are vegetarian options
they can make do or they can cough why
did you bring up now that’s true we got
reg another 1d you giving a rich make
sure you do shit a lot of dudes in my
neighborhood damn handlebar mustache
which is cool you want to have a
handlebar mustache but don’t try to have
a conversation with me like you don’t
have a handlebar mustache and try to
talk about regular stuff like music and
politics like dude you got a handlebar
mustache Oliver you talk about in
slinkies and kazoos and that’s it talk
about kazoos for 15 minutes do you ha
put unicycle and juggle you carnival
face mother you’re not creepy with a
mustache you’re not but like you’d be
less creepy without one
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