that they’re here yeah yeah they’re here
it might not be what you think I mean if
you see zombies you’re gonna want to run
right and this is about escape that’s
the theme today escape except oh no man
when I think of escape I think it’s
something different I think of a South
Pacific I think of majestic mountains I
think of movies or books I don’t know
though that those are the main
ingredients of an escape I mean I’ve
never been to the South Pacific and I’m
told that the scenery is stunning that
the waters impossibly blue that the
breeze is transcendent and still I can’t
imagine those are the main features of
what it takes to get away and why do I
say that well we’ve all come back from
vacation right we’ve stanton something
like this one of these cubicles and yes
sometimes we feel like we got away but
other times we don’t man it’s awful and
some of those massively unsatisfying
vacations have taken place in those same
majestic mountains those same tropical
paradises so those can’t be the main
ingredients it just doesn’t make sense
I think escape is something smaller
I think it’s inside of us I mean when
you get away when you really get away
you sigh less you might not even sigh at
all your back doesn’t bother you and
these changes happen seamlessly they
might even happen unconsciously so what
I’m getting at is that Escape is nuanced
it’s subtle it’s sublime but that poses
a problem for my topic today all right I
mean zombies not so nuanced they’re not
as a rule known for being the sublime so
let’s let’s reboot this whole scenario
let’s go back to that tropical island
but this time there’s a zombie
apocalypse okay it’s happening you’ve
seen the movies this is not a surprise
so they’re coming out of the palm trees
and they’re staggering like this and one
of them
forward and grabs your spouse and takes
a bite out of her cheek and and you know
there’s nothing you can do but you’ve
seen the movie star gonna go help her
and your buddy he’s seen the movies too
he knows his lines he’s a man leave her
she’s dead she’s already bit it’s over
it’s just not a subtle moment this is
not nuanced so how am I gonna do this
how am I gonna make the case for all of
you that the concept of the zombie the
way I think of a zombie that the trope
of the zombie is intricately tied to
escape to the notion of escape I just
told you escape as sublime and I told
you that zombies are not sublime they
are not nuanced and yet there’s zombies
in the room right now right now somehow
they got their ticket punched so I got
to do this and that’s that’s a tough one
right that’s a tough question it’s like
a Zen riddle what is the sound of nuance
as you’re running for your life from a
zombie and that’s harder than the one
about the guy with one hand clapping so
I think what we need to do is turn to
the philosophers I need their help and
why well philosophers love zombies they
do I’m not making that up if you look in
the literature there are tons of
articles about zombies in the
philosophical literature and that’s
because there’s a whole school
philosophy devoted to the study of
consciousness and what’s the key
question when you discuss consciousness
with loss Furze it’s it’s how do you
know that being conscious is the same
thing as being aware that’s their big
question now this might strike you as
silly you might say to yourself well
wait wait a minute if I’m taking in data
if I’m in the South Pacific and I and I
breed that salt that salty air that I
feel that breeze I’m I’m aware and I’m
conscious they’re the same thing that’s
precisely why the philosophers love
zombies don’t ask you very seriously
both say could Assam be be rescued from
his admittedly pretty routine existence
if he were exposed to that same salty
air could a zombie be aware of the South
Pacific breeze and therefore escape
now if you’ve ever spent time with
philosophers you know that they will
have a crystal clear very
straightforward answer they will sit you
down and they will say it depends
they’ll say it depends on how you define
zombie and they’ll say it depends on how
you define human and most importantly
they’ll say it depends on how you define
that messy space in between what I’m
gonna argue today is that that messy
space in between it’s getting Messier
those worlds are colliding especially in
our modern world and that’s a problem
because remember what’s the key concept
when we talk consciousness with
philosophers it’s how do we know that
being aware is the same thing as being
conscious and they will tell you that a
zombie can be conscious but not aware we
can be aware and because zombies are
cautionary tales they remind us that by
being aware we can escape the everyday
doldrums of modern existence because
simply by being aware we have in fact
escaped I mean I mean think about it
what is the most heart-wrenching
moment in any zombie film it’s the
transition moment it’s the moment when
the poor soul who’s been bit is more
zombie than human but still human enough
to know that he’s not gonna be human for
much longer and and his loved ones watch
on as his awareness leaks out of him and
and he begs them he says kill me man
kill me before I turn before a
transition you’ve seen that a thousand
times in a Walking Dead and it is silly
because once you transition once you’ve
become a zombie you won’t remember what
it’s like to be human you won’t care so
why not just take the last second of
humanity because that’s how much we
value that concept of being aware that
existential fear of losing the capacity
to be where it’s so powerful that that
moment makes tons of sense to us when we
watch The Walking Dead I think unless
we’re very careful in this modern
society we run the very real risk of
engaging in the oxymoron of zombie
consciousness why why do I say that
because the forces that turn us into
zombies are everywhere I mean how did
you feel the last time you were
subjected to elevator music to
not classical music el elevator music
how did you feel how did you feel the
last time you phoned your wireless
provider and you got a recording that
said your call is very important to us
and you know it’s not your call if
that’s Steve’s call because the next
verse is gonna get the same recording
right so they are Zomba fiying you right
they refuse to acknowledge you to be
aware that you are a unique individual
how did you feel the last time you went
to a shopping mall
that’s a screenshot from Dawn of the
Dead did you see no other zombie film
see god of the Dead
the original what was Romero saying
there he was saying that you don’t need
a contagion or radiation or the rage
virus to turn into a zombie what you
need is a shopping mall you need the
mindless consumerism of black Sunday
Black Friday whatever the new day is
when those doors aren’t yet open you’re
shuffling to get in before opening hours
these forces that turn us into zombies
this stuff of modern society some might
even say the stuff of civilized society
it’s it’s everywhere but you know what I
think that can rescue us as well because
we’re pack animals right zombies are
pack animals too
they don’t know that they’re pack
animals we know that we’re pack and also
because of that we do something else we
find out how we are unique within the
pack we find out how we’re special in
fact some B’s I would argue help us to
remember romance zombies don’t feel
romance some bees don’t get married
zombies don’t have a prom we have these
things because within the pack we have
to distinguish ourselves as being
special that’s actually absolutely
essential for our survival we’re wired
to connect with each other and we do
that by recognizing that which makes us
special this is why the zombie trope is
so powerful and so popular these days I
mean look at it this way if something’s
going to eviscerate me if a zombie is
going to eat my intestines I’d like it
to be about my intestines
I’d like my intestines to be special I
would like the zombie to have said I
want Steve’s intestines but he doesn’t
doesn’t care about my intestines I can
step this way to leave her intestines
it’s not about me
right and that is maddening in this well
that is maddening for our species we
need it to be about us we need to feel
like we matter
we need to feel special in order to be
aware and zombies robbed us of that we
will do just about anything to stop that
onslaught of anonymity that the zombie
trope pushes on us let’s see how it can
go south on you imagine your morning
commute the person who cuts you off is
not cutting you off he’s not cutting off
the short bald Harvard professor that’s
not what’s going on he’s cutting off the
car in front of him it has nothing to do
with me
but if I’m going to engage in road rage
which something I may have done every
now and then because I live in Boston
and that’s what happens there you know I
kind of make it personal I gotta say to
myself that guy is after me doesn’t he
know I have someplace to go doesn’t he
know how important I am road rage is
personal because we make it that way and
zombies as a rule they don’t get road
rage medicine I’m a physician what turns
us into zombies is all over the medical
world colonoscopies okay an amazing
procedure I mean nothing else has
screened so successfully for a horrific
disease colon cancer and in the
technology itself is amazing I mean you
thread this wire to the GI tract and in
a millisecond your insight is visible to
the outside you can tie it in a knot and
see through it that’s how amazing the
fiber optics are but now those of you’re
over 50 and those of you under 50 Pat of
colonoscopy think back to that
colonoscopy so the night before you do
the prep and whoever called it Golightly
had a terrible sense of humor because
there’s nothing light about the way you
go when you do that prep but you do it
right and you make it through the night
and you show up the next morning and you
feel kind of proud that you made it to
pee you’re also worried because you know
they’re screening for colon cancer or
making is another maybe they come blood
maybe they’re actually
looking for something that they think
might be there and you’ve got a wife and
you’ve got kids and a dog and a job and
you’re scared and then what happens they
hand you a Johnny and the hand the
person next to you a Johnny and the
person next to that person at Johnny and
everyone’s blood is hanging out but you
can’t even enjoy that because you got to
sit on a chair so everybody’s sitting
down in these chairs and just like that
you’re transformed from a from a Rachel
with a wife or barber with kids or a
Steve with two daughters and a wife and
two dogs into a Colin that’s it you’re
just a : just another colonoscopy and
look I apologized to the
gastroenterologist in the audience
because I know that is not the intention
none of us went to medical school for
that but the conveyor belt of modern
existence actually puts us on that path
unless we push back against it look if
you want to go someplace and see people
turn into zombies without a contagion go
to the DMV okay dad look what have you
arrived they take away your name they
give you a number you stand in this long
line and you shuffle forward and I got
to tell you zombies don’t care about the
DMV it doesn’t bother them they eat the
person in front of them and they move on
that’s it okay we don’t like the DMV but
because we have these brains we can be
aware of the other things at the DMV the
last time I was at the DMV and I swear
I’m not making this up the last time I
was there the music on the loudspeaker
was I believe in miracles that was the
song that the DMV over the loudspeaker
actually called me a sexy thing now at
my age this hairline I don’t want to
miss those moments so when was the last
time you stopped when you were stuck in
traffic and looked at the sunset no is
this a cliche so I’m you’re rolling your
eyes yes of course it’s a cliche zombies
are super cliched I’ve hung out with the
guys who make zombie movies I’ve written
a zombie novel zombies don’t die just
like cliches don’t die right that’s what
they have in common there’s a problem to
all of us though there’s a very dark
side of this there’s a reason zombies
exist
the horror cannon when something robs us
of our personhood when something doesn’t
recognize us as unique and special we
react with violence and hate and rage
this woman from The Walking Dead is
killing that zombie you think that
zombie cares no somebody doesn’t care
something won’t even remember she can’t
stand that that zombie doesn’t care so
she’s going to kill that zombie if you
give a man a shotgun and you show Mazon
be right there the chances are he’ll use
the last of his ammunition to blow that
zombies head off
he doesn’t have to well it’s got to do
is walk slightly faster this way right I
mean you can eat a sandwich while you’re
getting away from a zombie that’s how
easy they can’t even while they can’t
open windows but he won’t he won’t he’s
gonna use the last of the ammunition and
he’s gonna blow off that zombies head
precisely because that zombie steals
from him everything that he thinks
matters everything that makes him
special
we need to feel special if something
takes that from us we can become violent
scariest thing about a zombie movie it’s
not the zombies come on that’s like a
National Geographic special about snails
get a movie only about zombies they
would just bump into each other the
whole movie you would get bored the
scariest thing about a zombie movie is
how we respond to the zombies and even
worse how we respond to each other that
guy with the shotgun he’s gonna blow the
head off that zombie and he’s gonna blow
out the head of that zombie and then
that saw me and pretty soon he’s gonna
run out of zombies and he’s gonna start
blowing the head off other humans and
before you know it he will have become
the very thing he’s fighting against
even though he has the brain to know
better right that’s the most savage
nightmare of modern existence but we
don’t have to go there today is about
escape that’s about pushing reset
that’s about seeing new things or or
maybe even seeing the same thing but
from a different point of view
zombies zombies can’t do that zombies
can’t go to the DMV and find the person
to take the problem right that hasn’t
happened to a zombie but we can we have
a choice we can choose to see the world
as filled by being aware with these
incredible experiences like today
or we can be a zombie and we can shuffle
through life in that route nice
mechanized way like they do in Shaun of
the Dead so ask yourself which one would
you choose
thank you
[Applause] [Music]