so my story tonight’s gonna start with
Kashmir when you think it could mere
one-year Kashmiri what do you guys to
think of what comes to mind first
sweater
a good-luck Zeppelin song yeah most
people yeah biryani for me
Kashmiri was actually the source and
remains the source and motivation for my
work and my changemaker journey Kashmiri
is a place in between India and Pakistan
it’s one of my family is from and my
changemaker journey particularly started
in the early 90s at the height of the
conflict when my aunt aisha was murdered
because of the violence there and i went
back to connect with her son my cousin
and best friend at the time and it was a
particular
then i witnessed that has motivated my
work ever since it was actually a moment
where he arrested the narrative of his
life to the failures of the world around
him instead of seeing his life as a
series of choices he was living his life
as a consequence because of what was
taken from him it was a particular
moment he was standing greeting people
as they were tapping him on the Hagin
head and hugging him and kissing him
consoling him and it was an instant
where I saw his body change he was
looking out at the military bunker
across the street at the time
periodically looking back at the tent
filled with women crying reading Quran
and he would turn back and all of a
sudden I saw his hands ball up into a
fist
I saw his breathing he wasn’t in control
of his own breath his body tightened up
and his eyes were red this physical
event to happen to him change the
narrative of how he saw himself and what
his options were in life he was
physically literally in a place of
helplessness loss and humiliation
and the story that he told himself ever
since that moment impacted how he
treated himself and how he walked on
this earth how he communicated with
himself internally influenced his
behavior in the outside world and that
was contagious to me because when you
see someone you love go through
something like that you take that on and
I ended up having an us-versus-them
black and white mentality you know in
terms of how life works and I actually
hated anyone that had anything to do
with the Indian military because they
took my aunt away
and they hurt someone I loved until
years later after a wonderful night and
in the evening seeing a sunset at Dal
Lake driving in a car bomb went off
someone had blown themselves up and
there was a sudden pinging going on
around her car bullets hitting a steel
and in that moment my hands curled up
into a fist I lost control of my breath
I thought I was going to be a
consequence of a bullet hitting my skull
and somehow my mother calmly and coolly
pulled out of Kuran and just started
praying she didn’t even sweat but what
happened now for that is what changed my
us-versus-them mentality would change my
view about a world being black and white
instead of a world of colors and it was
getting out of that situation and
driving and all the sudden a spotlight
came on our car from the military camp
because all the lights were shut off
after the attack and in that spotlight
in that moment I made eye contact for
the first time in my life with an Indian
soldier and it was the first time in my
life where I communicated with him and
we didn’t say a word we were
communicating with each other without
saying a word and in that moment it
shattered that binary worldview that I
had that single narrative worldview that
I had because we both were saying the
same thing to each other I don’t want to
be here I don’t want to be here and that
made me question things about how the
narratives I was being fed were shaping
my behavior in world
and that got even further compounded
after 9/11 being a Muslim in America and
my American friends asked me why are you
guys trying to kill us and then going to
Kashmir and my Muslim friends saying why
are you guys trying to kill us and I was
in this weird place of trying to
communicate one side to the other so for
me communications and storytelling it is
not transactional it is not a blog post
it is not a snapchat it is not a post on
Instagram it is a process of healing and
empowerment in my work eight years
working with young people all over the
world I’m seeing a trend it’s troubling
which is young people accepting a single
narrative of their lives of who they are
one that is led by fear instead of
curiosity fear instead of curiosity
sounds familiar at this country at this
moment doesn’t it the reason this is
problematic well science shows us a lot
actually particularly when we work with
communities that have been impacted by
trauma and chronic stress and fear and
anxiety having your narrative led by
fear instead of curiosity translates to
isolation translates to an inability to
form pro-social relationships an
inability to have decision-making skills
and set goals neuroscience and
psychology are showing us the impacts of
this type of impact on people that are
going through stress and trauma right a
single narrative has all these impacts
and in a world where the only constant
is change
are we equipping young people to
understand how their mind and body
respond to change our world is on fire
right now so we must support young
people and understanding their own
resilience assets and being better able
to cope with the only constant in this
world and in this life at this moment in
our history as human beings which is
change
and that’s where me.we comes in all
right so hypothesis in me which is
something I founded years ago is an
Arrested narrative of oneself translates
to an Arrested Development of oneself
what is an Arrested Development look
like looks like communities of young
people being unable to form goals
communities of young people that when
you ask them a question they put their
eyes down and they start to cry right
the world isn’t gonna get better if
we’re not reframing that for them how
can we flip the narrative and help them
reclaim control of the narrative of
themselves and of their lives stories
for me are formulas for change stories
or formulas for change stories are not
linear
that’s where shifts happen good or bad
and if stories are formulas for change
that means stories aren’t static and
guess what human beings are not static
our brains are not static there is a TED
talk about how we’re not stuck with the
brains that were born with human beings
are also formulas of change human beings
are living breathing stories where our
words impact our chemistry and how we
treat ourselves in the world around us
so with me we we have a methodology
where we use communications as a tool to
promote mental health psychosocial
support and empowerment of marginalized
youth communities all over the world
what we’re most known for is something
called hashtag me we Syria where I’m
equipping young Syrians to experience
the program these are teachers these are
youth activists and they self replicate
an entrepreneur their own me.we hubs and
they’re doing it right now in eight
cities across three countries on their
own because they believe in it with the
methodology we have a particular way we
do things which is very kind of weird to
explain but we frame communications in
three ways internal communication
interpersonal communication and then
public but we start with an internal and
this is where the
Communications and healing components
coming together specifically in three
ways interoception goal-setting and
building relationships okay well what is
interception its awareness of your body
your physical body your senses of your
body the psychologist dr. van der Kolk
says knowing what we feel is the first
step to knowing why we feel right so we
have an exercise in our program where we
do something called body mapping where
we read certain words and the young
refugees map out way where they are
feeling these words on their bodies in
another exercise we have them understand
the story construct of a hero’s journey
and they then do a hero’s journey of
their own brains creating dialogue
between the automatic and the slower
systems of the brain how does a brain
where the different dialogues happening
within one’s brain so you see through
communications we’re making accessible
self-awareness trying to resync the mind
with with the heart and the breath which
is what storytelling is another
communications component related to
healing is goal-setting extremely
important right he who has a why can
bear almost any how each a said right
purpose having a destination can pull
you from where you’re trapped in right
and Viktor Frankl really promoted this
work he’s a psychotherapist that
survived a concentration camp and he
noticed that the people that died
quickest were the ones that couldn’t
formulate or think of a goal or a
purpose so an me we we have an exercise
several exercises the one of them is
called future to present where they’re
creating a narrative from their future
self to their present self it’s between
themselves in 2028 talking to themselves
in 2018 it’s a powerful exercise and the
way that we do it it’s internal
interpersonal public they start with
mindfulness reflection right breathing
body awareness and then they write and
record creative writing imaginative
thinking and then they do peer to peer
sharing so that interpersonal
communications component and then they
share it publicly
and one of the ways I surely is through
video blogging which is the images you
see above me and this is one of my
favorite parts of the program because if
you look at the top right at Hoda in
Turkey this is similar for a lot of
girls and women that are going through
this exercise this is the first time
they’re looking at themselves on a
camera now a lot of us in this room have
pushed a button before hit a record
button right there’s plenty of cameramen
here doing the same thing right now
but for a lot of the people that we work
with before they never had an
opportunity to push a button there’s a
moment of hesitancy where all these
things all the narratives in their body
that are telling them no don’t push that
button it ain’t worth it you can’t you
can’t do it they stop themselves there’s
this hesitancy that always happens and
then there is a sink that happens when
they push that button they’re detonating
all the limitations that have kept them
from sinking their mind in their heart
with their breath and how the
beautifully captured this moment and she
turned around to me with a smile and she
said this is the first time I’ve had a
conversation with myself imagine she’s
50 plus years old this is the first time
she’s having a conversation with herself
now what’s happening through this
methodology well the data still needs to
be verified and we have to improve our
measuring because as I just mentioned
even the act of doing a pre and
post-assessment with our young people
can trigger them the act of asking a
question can be seen as an investigation
not as something that’s trying to help
them but we’re noticing some patterns
that are really important that speak to
the power of storytelling as a tool for
healing and empowerment one is we’re
noticing that through pre-imposed self
assessments that young people are
reporting higher capacities for empathy
there promote their reporting greater
awareness of stresses as they’re coming
on and their coping mechanisms to
overcome them and another interesting
point is their their reporting and
enhanced capacity for collaborating with
others which goes into this pro-social
element of healing as dr. van der Kolk
also says healing
not happen in isolation your body and
mind try and trick you into thinking
that you need to be isolated but
actually the cure is not isolation it’s
relationships right so through me we
what we have now and we’re doing this in
Honduras by the way and we’re seeing
similar results recently we piloted
Honduras but through me what we have now
is over the last two years we’ve trained
50 Syrian refugees who have experienced
the program have entrepreneur dit and
have been localizing it and spreading it
to refugees in their own communities and
they’ve reached more than 1400 on their
own and each hub is a safe space where
relationships are being formed and young
people are literally and physically re
authoring their future that’s change
right that’s the power of storytelling a
three take takeaways that I just want to
leave with you but before I get to that
I just need to explain this picture
because it’s very powerful okay this is
a bracelet made by Nadia who is a Syrian
refugee nadia was in Turkey going
through the program she didn’t say a
word to me the whole training not a word
until the last day she pulled me aside
she told me to close my eyes and open my
hand and she took off this bracelet that
she made with her own hands and dropped
it in my hand and I said what is this
she said I made this when the war
started when I was home and I’ve carried
it with me ever since
ever since I witnessed the traumas ever
since I had to leave my home and
everything I knew I’ve carried it with
me for five years she said now I can
give it to you I can let go of it that
is change that’s social and emotional
learning and development that young
people need to thrive in a world in
constant disruption and change alright
three takeaways words are events they
change things they do things one of my
favorite writers
Ursula Levin said that second thing
communications and storytelling is not
transactional
I’m a storyteller and it’s a word that
gets butchered to death everywhere and I
hate it
storytelling is the transference of
energy to shift the mindsets
it’s the transference of energy to shift
mindsets
that’s what storytelling is and that’s
why storytelling can be used as a tool
for healing and empowerment and the last
thing I’ll say that I would leave with
you about storytelling is that the
stories we tell ourselves about
ourselves shapes how we treat ourselves
and how we treat ourselves influences
how we walk on this earth and the
choices we make every day so when you
guys are brushing your teeth tomorrow
morning looking in the mirror I want you
to ask yourself where do I feel the
stories in me and am I in control of
them thank you [Applause]
Kashmir when you think it could mere
one-year Kashmiri what do you guys to
think of what comes to mind first
sweater
a good-luck Zeppelin song yeah most
people yeah biryani for me
Kashmiri was actually the source and
remains the source and motivation for my
work and my changemaker journey Kashmiri
is a place in between India and Pakistan
it’s one of my family is from and my
changemaker journey particularly started
in the early 90s at the height of the
conflict when my aunt aisha was murdered
because of the violence there and i went
back to connect with her son my cousin
and best friend at the time and it was a
particular
then i witnessed that has motivated my
work ever since it was actually a moment
where he arrested the narrative of his
life to the failures of the world around
him instead of seeing his life as a
series of choices he was living his life
as a consequence because of what was
taken from him it was a particular
moment he was standing greeting people
as they were tapping him on the Hagin
head and hugging him and kissing him
consoling him and it was an instant
where I saw his body change he was
looking out at the military bunker
across the street at the time
periodically looking back at the tent
filled with women crying reading Quran
and he would turn back and all of a
sudden I saw his hands ball up into a
fist
I saw his breathing he wasn’t in control
of his own breath his body tightened up
and his eyes were red this physical
event to happen to him change the
narrative of how he saw himself and what
his options were in life he was
physically literally in a place of
helplessness loss and humiliation
and the story that he told himself ever
since that moment impacted how he
treated himself and how he walked on
this earth how he communicated with
himself internally influenced his
behavior in the outside world and that
was contagious to me because when you
see someone you love go through
something like that you take that on and
I ended up having an us-versus-them
black and white mentality you know in
terms of how life works and I actually
hated anyone that had anything to do
with the Indian military because they
took my aunt away
and they hurt someone I loved until
years later after a wonderful night and
in the evening seeing a sunset at Dal
Lake driving in a car bomb went off
someone had blown themselves up and
there was a sudden pinging going on
around her car bullets hitting a steel
and in that moment my hands curled up
into a fist I lost control of my breath
I thought I was going to be a
consequence of a bullet hitting my skull
and somehow my mother calmly and coolly
pulled out of Kuran and just started
praying she didn’t even sweat but what
happened now for that is what changed my
us-versus-them mentality would change my
view about a world being black and white
instead of a world of colors and it was
getting out of that situation and
driving and all the sudden a spotlight
came on our car from the military camp
because all the lights were shut off
after the attack and in that spotlight
in that moment I made eye contact for
the first time in my life with an Indian
soldier and it was the first time in my
life where I communicated with him and
we didn’t say a word we were
communicating with each other without
saying a word and in that moment it
shattered that binary worldview that I
had that single narrative worldview that
I had because we both were saying the
same thing to each other I don’t want to
be here I don’t want to be here and that
made me question things about how the
narratives I was being fed were shaping
my behavior in world
and that got even further compounded
after 9/11 being a Muslim in America and
my American friends asked me why are you
guys trying to kill us and then going to
Kashmir and my Muslim friends saying why
are you guys trying to kill us and I was
in this weird place of trying to
communicate one side to the other so for
me communications and storytelling it is
not transactional it is not a blog post
it is not a snapchat it is not a post on
Instagram it is a process of healing and
empowerment in my work eight years
working with young people all over the
world I’m seeing a trend it’s troubling
which is young people accepting a single
narrative of their lives of who they are
one that is led by fear instead of
curiosity fear instead of curiosity
sounds familiar at this country at this
moment doesn’t it the reason this is
problematic well science shows us a lot
actually particularly when we work with
communities that have been impacted by
trauma and chronic stress and fear and
anxiety having your narrative led by
fear instead of curiosity translates to
isolation translates to an inability to
form pro-social relationships an
inability to have decision-making skills
and set goals neuroscience and
psychology are showing us the impacts of
this type of impact on people that are
going through stress and trauma right a
single narrative has all these impacts
and in a world where the only constant
is change
are we equipping young people to
understand how their mind and body
respond to change our world is on fire
right now so we must support young
people and understanding their own
resilience assets and being better able
to cope with the only constant in this
world and in this life at this moment in
our history as human beings which is
change
and that’s where me.we comes in all
right so hypothesis in me which is
something I founded years ago is an
Arrested narrative of oneself translates
to an Arrested Development of oneself
what is an Arrested Development look
like looks like communities of young
people being unable to form goals
communities of young people that when
you ask them a question they put their
eyes down and they start to cry right
the world isn’t gonna get better if
we’re not reframing that for them how
can we flip the narrative and help them
reclaim control of the narrative of
themselves and of their lives stories
for me are formulas for change stories
or formulas for change stories are not
linear
that’s where shifts happen good or bad
and if stories are formulas for change
that means stories aren’t static and
guess what human beings are not static
our brains are not static there is a TED
talk about how we’re not stuck with the
brains that were born with human beings
are also formulas of change human beings
are living breathing stories where our
words impact our chemistry and how we
treat ourselves in the world around us
so with me we we have a methodology
where we use communications as a tool to
promote mental health psychosocial
support and empowerment of marginalized
youth communities all over the world
what we’re most known for is something
called hashtag me we Syria where I’m
equipping young Syrians to experience
the program these are teachers these are
youth activists and they self replicate
an entrepreneur their own me.we hubs and
they’re doing it right now in eight
cities across three countries on their
own because they believe in it with the
methodology we have a particular way we
do things which is very kind of weird to
explain but we frame communications in
three ways internal communication
interpersonal communication and then
public but we start with an internal and
this is where the
Communications and healing components
coming together specifically in three
ways interoception goal-setting and
building relationships okay well what is
interception its awareness of your body
your physical body your senses of your
body the psychologist dr. van der Kolk
says knowing what we feel is the first
step to knowing why we feel right so we
have an exercise in our program where we
do something called body mapping where
we read certain words and the young
refugees map out way where they are
feeling these words on their bodies in
another exercise we have them understand
the story construct of a hero’s journey
and they then do a hero’s journey of
their own brains creating dialogue
between the automatic and the slower
systems of the brain how does a brain
where the different dialogues happening
within one’s brain so you see through
communications we’re making accessible
self-awareness trying to resync the mind
with with the heart and the breath which
is what storytelling is another
communications component related to
healing is goal-setting extremely
important right he who has a why can
bear almost any how each a said right
purpose having a destination can pull
you from where you’re trapped in right
and Viktor Frankl really promoted this
work he’s a psychotherapist that
survived a concentration camp and he
noticed that the people that died
quickest were the ones that couldn’t
formulate or think of a goal or a
purpose so an me we we have an exercise
several exercises the one of them is
called future to present where they’re
creating a narrative from their future
self to their present self it’s between
themselves in 2028 talking to themselves
in 2018 it’s a powerful exercise and the
way that we do it it’s internal
interpersonal public they start with
mindfulness reflection right breathing
body awareness and then they write and
record creative writing imaginative
thinking and then they do peer to peer
sharing so that interpersonal
communications component and then they
share it publicly
and one of the ways I surely is through
video blogging which is the images you
see above me and this is one of my
favorite parts of the program because if
you look at the top right at Hoda in
Turkey this is similar for a lot of
girls and women that are going through
this exercise this is the first time
they’re looking at themselves on a
camera now a lot of us in this room have
pushed a button before hit a record
button right there’s plenty of cameramen
here doing the same thing right now
but for a lot of the people that we work
with before they never had an
opportunity to push a button there’s a
moment of hesitancy where all these
things all the narratives in their body
that are telling them no don’t push that
button it ain’t worth it you can’t you
can’t do it they stop themselves there’s
this hesitancy that always happens and
then there is a sink that happens when
they push that button they’re detonating
all the limitations that have kept them
from sinking their mind in their heart
with their breath and how the
beautifully captured this moment and she
turned around to me with a smile and she
said this is the first time I’ve had a
conversation with myself imagine she’s
50 plus years old this is the first time
she’s having a conversation with herself
now what’s happening through this
methodology well the data still needs to
be verified and we have to improve our
measuring because as I just mentioned
even the act of doing a pre and
post-assessment with our young people
can trigger them the act of asking a
question can be seen as an investigation
not as something that’s trying to help
them but we’re noticing some patterns
that are really important that speak to
the power of storytelling as a tool for
healing and empowerment one is we’re
noticing that through pre-imposed self
assessments that young people are
reporting higher capacities for empathy
there promote their reporting greater
awareness of stresses as they’re coming
on and their coping mechanisms to
overcome them and another interesting
point is their their reporting and
enhanced capacity for collaborating with
others which goes into this pro-social
element of healing as dr. van der Kolk
also says healing
not happen in isolation your body and
mind try and trick you into thinking
that you need to be isolated but
actually the cure is not isolation it’s
relationships right so through me we
what we have now and we’re doing this in
Honduras by the way and we’re seeing
similar results recently we piloted
Honduras but through me what we have now
is over the last two years we’ve trained
50 Syrian refugees who have experienced
the program have entrepreneur dit and
have been localizing it and spreading it
to refugees in their own communities and
they’ve reached more than 1400 on their
own and each hub is a safe space where
relationships are being formed and young
people are literally and physically re
authoring their future that’s change
right that’s the power of storytelling a
three take takeaways that I just want to
leave with you but before I get to that
I just need to explain this picture
because it’s very powerful okay this is
a bracelet made by Nadia who is a Syrian
refugee nadia was in Turkey going
through the program she didn’t say a
word to me the whole training not a word
until the last day she pulled me aside
she told me to close my eyes and open my
hand and she took off this bracelet that
she made with her own hands and dropped
it in my hand and I said what is this
she said I made this when the war
started when I was home and I’ve carried
it with me ever since
ever since I witnessed the traumas ever
since I had to leave my home and
everything I knew I’ve carried it with
me for five years she said now I can
give it to you I can let go of it that
is change that’s social and emotional
learning and development that young
people need to thrive in a world in
constant disruption and change alright
three takeaways words are events they
change things they do things one of my
favorite writers
Ursula Levin said that second thing
communications and storytelling is not
transactional
I’m a storyteller and it’s a word that
gets butchered to death everywhere and I
hate it
storytelling is the transference of
energy to shift the mindsets
it’s the transference of energy to shift
mindsets
that’s what storytelling is and that’s
why storytelling can be used as a tool
for healing and empowerment and the last
thing I’ll say that I would leave with
you about storytelling is that the
stories we tell ourselves about
ourselves shapes how we treat ourselves
and how we treat ourselves influences
how we walk on this earth and the
choices we make every day so when you
guys are brushing your teeth tomorrow
morning looking in the mirror I want you
to ask yourself where do I feel the
stories in me and am I in control of
them thank you [Applause]
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