[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
when we were born we were completely
dependent on older people to teach us to
walk and talk
feed bathe and dress ourselves later
these trusted adults helped us to learn
how to take care of our things and
manage money and drive a car in
childhood they gave us roots in
adolescence wings remember when you were
a teen feeling cool and confident as a
driver until you scratch the car and
then prayed no one noticed going to the
dentist for the first time on escorted
then completely forgetting what they
told you needed to be done in all those
arguments about what you were wearing
and where you were going and who you
were going with them when you were
coming home they were so aggravating
aside from the fact that our parents may
have been correct
it wasn’t the point we needed to look
and feel competent and independent
looking back now we know those arguments
were out of love and concern and not
judgment have you been dealing with this
with your teeth in your life lately well
how about the older folks are they
forgetting appointments and what they’ve
been told are they making poor choices
and then fighting any assistance and are
they putting more scratches and dents on
the car they say there’s a second
childhood but have you considered a
second adolescence one foot is still
firmly in independence the other is
slowly reluctantly sliding back into
dependence there are over forty point
four million unpaid caregivers in the
u.s. of older adults most of them take
care of more than one person and the
assistance consists more of errands and
household chores and home maintenance
rather than personal care or financial
as a professional organizer I help
people adapt to their environments and
their routines to their changing needs
and I first started thinking about
second adolescence when I realized that
my clients complaints about their older
folks we’re the same as a complaints
about their teens
yet the expectations were completely
different teens were expected to adapt
and become independent but somewhere
along the way most of my clients assume
that their older loved ones just now had
to be completely taken care of
and when I’d speak to the older loved
ones they thought I can adapt I need to
learn new ways to stay independent – so
why the difference attitude towards
second adolescence we’re not paying
attention hearing vision and physical
decline will change the way we interact
and communicate just like how you
interact and communicate now is
completely different from when you were
three or thirteen I was in a restaurant
recently watching a mom and her two
teenage boys having dinner with grandpa
typical restaurant little dim little
loud and as grandpa’s trying to make out
the menu mom and the boys keep leaning
together talk and then would break away
laughing when grandpa asked what they
were talking about and if we could
contribute to the conversation the
mother said pay attention and then the
boys just snickered and said he wouldn’t
get it
well when the waiter came and grandpa
asked for the specials to be repeated
again mom rolled her eyes and the boys
just smirked but the waiter instead of
just yelling louder he stepped closer
leaned in spoke directly to him and
helped him navigate the menu as the
waiter left mom berated grandpa again
turned back to the boys
basically dismissing him hurt
humiliation and loneliness washed over
that man’s face you could literally see
him withdraw and his walls go up he
lifted his chin squared his shoulders
and blankly gazed around until the food
arrived remember as a teen
maintain your dignity when you knew
you’d been snubbed and ridiculed but you
couldn’t leave the situation behaviour
like this are destructive isolating and
cruel no matter what your age or
relationship be more mindful of other
people’s challenges in your own
behaviors are they really ignoring you
someone with hearing loss may not even
be aware you’re speaking if you are
behind them or looking away when
speaking at home
piles grow around a recliner because
maybe that’s where the brightest light
in the house is located or it could be
because it’s more difficult to get up
once seated small tasks like splitting
envelopes changing light bulbs recapping
a pill bottle can become almost
impossible when you have arthritis or
other mild physical limitations and
things will get stacked on counters and
any available flat surface when it
becomes too difficult to reach overhead
or bend below to use a cabinet so ask
your older loved ones what what their
challenges are chances are you’ll find
them asking you to do things with them
more than for them let them be the
brains and you be the broad for the home
at the home projects group cooking days
let you relearn the family recipes teach
the younger ones to cook fill the
freezer and make memories as well as
meals and you’ll be surprised maybe a
little shocked at the stories you’ll
hear from grandma while helping her dust
tchotchkes or go through the basement
now the computer is the most contentious
object I see their loved or it’s hated
for those who grew up with that
technology is great it’s convenient
efficient and effective way to
communicate but for those who didn’t it
is impersonal confusing and unreliable
Facebook and email will never replace
personal phone calls in actual developed
photos
so ask them if they want to even use a
computer if their answer is no you kind
of have to respect that but if the
answer is yes put in all the safeguards
you can and walk them through it until
they are comfortable if you have to go
over email or Facebook 50 times do it
show them the same consideration in
patience they showed you when teaching
you how to read and write again second
adolescence is a uncomfortable reminder
that life continues to roll on with or
without us by combining assistance in
quality time together we allow people to
maintain their dignity and sense of
self-worth and we also foster deeper
richer connections to our legacies of
family and community so the next time
you find yourself dealing with second
adolescence remember the teen you were
the first time
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
when we were born we were completely
dependent on older people to teach us to
walk and talk
feed bathe and dress ourselves later
these trusted adults helped us to learn
how to take care of our things and
manage money and drive a car in
childhood they gave us roots in
adolescence wings remember when you were
a teen feeling cool and confident as a
driver until you scratch the car and
then prayed no one noticed going to the
dentist for the first time on escorted
then completely forgetting what they
told you needed to be done in all those
arguments about what you were wearing
and where you were going and who you
were going with them when you were
coming home they were so aggravating
aside from the fact that our parents may
have been correct
it wasn’t the point we needed to look
and feel competent and independent
looking back now we know those arguments
were out of love and concern and not
judgment have you been dealing with this
with your teeth in your life lately well
how about the older folks are they
forgetting appointments and what they’ve
been told are they making poor choices
and then fighting any assistance and are
they putting more scratches and dents on
the car they say there’s a second
childhood but have you considered a
second adolescence one foot is still
firmly in independence the other is
slowly reluctantly sliding back into
dependence there are over forty point
four million unpaid caregivers in the
u.s. of older adults most of them take
care of more than one person and the
assistance consists more of errands and
household chores and home maintenance
rather than personal care or financial
as a professional organizer I help
people adapt to their environments and
their routines to their changing needs
and I first started thinking about
second adolescence when I realized that
my clients complaints about their older
folks we’re the same as a complaints
about their teens
yet the expectations were completely
different teens were expected to adapt
and become independent but somewhere
along the way most of my clients assume
that their older loved ones just now had
to be completely taken care of
and when I’d speak to the older loved
ones they thought I can adapt I need to
learn new ways to stay independent – so
why the difference attitude towards
second adolescence we’re not paying
attention hearing vision and physical
decline will change the way we interact
and communicate just like how you
interact and communicate now is
completely different from when you were
three or thirteen I was in a restaurant
recently watching a mom and her two
teenage boys having dinner with grandpa
typical restaurant little dim little
loud and as grandpa’s trying to make out
the menu mom and the boys keep leaning
together talk and then would break away
laughing when grandpa asked what they
were talking about and if we could
contribute to the conversation the
mother said pay attention and then the
boys just snickered and said he wouldn’t
get it
well when the waiter came and grandpa
asked for the specials to be repeated
again mom rolled her eyes and the boys
just smirked but the waiter instead of
just yelling louder he stepped closer
leaned in spoke directly to him and
helped him navigate the menu as the
waiter left mom berated grandpa again
turned back to the boys
basically dismissing him hurt
humiliation and loneliness washed over
that man’s face you could literally see
him withdraw and his walls go up he
lifted his chin squared his shoulders
and blankly gazed around until the food
arrived remember as a teen
maintain your dignity when you knew
you’d been snubbed and ridiculed but you
couldn’t leave the situation behaviour
like this are destructive isolating and
cruel no matter what your age or
relationship be more mindful of other
people’s challenges in your own
behaviors are they really ignoring you
someone with hearing loss may not even
be aware you’re speaking if you are
behind them or looking away when
speaking at home
piles grow around a recliner because
maybe that’s where the brightest light
in the house is located or it could be
because it’s more difficult to get up
once seated small tasks like splitting
envelopes changing light bulbs recapping
a pill bottle can become almost
impossible when you have arthritis or
other mild physical limitations and
things will get stacked on counters and
any available flat surface when it
becomes too difficult to reach overhead
or bend below to use a cabinet so ask
your older loved ones what what their
challenges are chances are you’ll find
them asking you to do things with them
more than for them let them be the
brains and you be the broad for the home
at the home projects group cooking days
let you relearn the family recipes teach
the younger ones to cook fill the
freezer and make memories as well as
meals and you’ll be surprised maybe a
little shocked at the stories you’ll
hear from grandma while helping her dust
tchotchkes or go through the basement
now the computer is the most contentious
object I see their loved or it’s hated
for those who grew up with that
technology is great it’s convenient
efficient and effective way to
communicate but for those who didn’t it
is impersonal confusing and unreliable
Facebook and email will never replace
personal phone calls in actual developed
photos
so ask them if they want to even use a
computer if their answer is no you kind
of have to respect that but if the
answer is yes put in all the safeguards
you can and walk them through it until
they are comfortable if you have to go
over email or Facebook 50 times do it
show them the same consideration in
patience they showed you when teaching
you how to read and write again second
adolescence is a uncomfortable reminder
that life continues to roll on with or
without us by combining assistance in
quality time together we allow people to
maintain their dignity and sense of
self-worth and we also foster deeper
richer connections to our legacies of
family and community so the next time
you find yourself dealing with second
adolescence remember the teen you were
the first time
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
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