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Wrestling with who I am, 3 stories from my life | Mike Daniel | TEDxModesto


so this is me on the father a small
business owner and a member of the
[Applause]
[Applause]
so that’s the main event Mike Daniel of
villainous cowardly bad guy or a heel as
they call him in wrestling jargon so how
did I go from here to here tonight I
want to share three stories with you one
is about a person I know one is about a
person I’ve met and one is about a
person I admire and the bind is pro
wrestling and what has taught me this is
my grandma she found me on her doorstep
when I was three months old and when I
say on her doorstep I mean literally she
found me on her doorstep see my mother
held me at 16 it was a drug addict most
of her life until she died from the
disease when she was 19 I never knew my
dad and my grandfather was an alcoholic
and sort of in and out of our lives
so she was a real only real constant I
had in those early years now you can
imagine how raising two kids mostly
alone on a fixed income must have been
tough but my grandma persevered
something that was ingrained within her
you see she was a depression-era
desperate refugee from the Texas
Panhandle a lot of The Grapes of Wrath
she undoubtedly worked hard but struggle
along the way but as I was a kid I
wasn’t really I didn’t know about these
struggles we always had plenty of food
on the table and all the things that you
sort of need as a child that sort of
structure we were poor but I never
really felt poor what we lacked on money
we made up for her in her presence and
structure she provided for me we didn’t
have much money to do things so we had
to find something that was kind of a
bond that would bring us together that
didn’t cost a bunch of money so the one
thing we had was TV her favorite thing
to watch our growing up was was things
like Wild Kingdom in these shows so
early Shark Week think about this stuff
so on these four by three TVs that was
sort of her thing that was her escape
she loved watching these shows but we
shared another escape together that she
taught me about which was pro wrestling
it was something we had in common and
it’s kind of a weird thing to have in
common to your grandma right like Pro
Wrestling right so we had this in common
and it was something that she and I
would be able to talk about and connect
together over and was one of the few
times growing up that I actually saw her
get truly happy she would tell me
stories about characters like gorgeous
gorge Pat Patterson and Ray the Crippler
Stevens she would see these guys do
their thing at the Cow Palace and would
just tell me all these crazy stories
about being in the front row and seeing
all these things as a kid for me growing
up my generation had a Hulk Hogan the
Macho Man Randy Savage and the Ultimate
Warrior now my grandma wasn’t much for
violence she had seen plenty of this in
her for different marriages but there
was something about wrestling that was
always okay with her so when I was a
little boy she would tell me about
wrestling the weirdest thing
she would say you might learn something
from it little did she know how right
she was I was lucky enough to have my
grandma from the time I was three months
old until I was 15 at 15 she ended up
getting very sick and I found myself on
my own so at 15 years old I I sort of
started my life on my own putting myself
through high school on my own at one
point even living in my friend’s closet
unbeknownst to his parents by the way we
were able to pull this off it was really
really kind of an impressive thing that
we were able to do but it was something
that really sort of helped shape me at
that time and midway through my junior
year I found a group of kids who kind of
came from the same background as me and
we shared a passion together I bet you
can guess what it is
wrestling yes you’re right so we did
something called backyard wrestling and
for those who are curious what is
backyard wrestling we wrestled in a
backyard not me by the way
but our ragtag group many of who came
from the same sort of similar
socioeconomic backgrounds
weeba saw wrestling sort of an escape
for me from sort of where my life was at
15 being on my own for others from
poverty from others for others for
you know it’s really bad home life so we
came together with wrestling and it was
something that did something for me
early on in my life that was really
interesting
we took that passion and we started to
build upon it so we took this time on
mattresses in the backyard and we ended
up creating something with it started
designing costumes started developing
characters and it was somewhere I
actually learned a video production now
I own a business that does this I
learned how to do it in the backyard
wrestling on mattresses is how I learned
how to do this we had a public-access TV
show that aired in Stockton Modesto for
three years my business partner and I
met through this public-access wrestling
show 20 years ago I’m gonna share
another story about the second man
Hawkeye Shane Cody by the way does not
know I’m talking about him tonight nor
could he probably point me on a lineup
but Shane Cody comes from a wrestling
lineage he’s the second generation
wrestler the son of a promoter named
woody farmer who was a big promoter in
the Bay Area in the 1960s 1970s and is
also a part-time Hollywood actor
Shane Cody couldn’t point me out in a
lineup then or now but he did something
for me when I was just 20 years old that
has stuck with me my adult life so about
two years into into the backyard thing I
was like you know what this isn’t really
enough for me I want to do something
more and several of us felt that way so
we took the mattresses and traded them
in for pro wrestling school becoming
professional wrestlers did you guys know
there was an actual thing called pro
wrestling school so I went to pro
wrestling school that’s where I went to
college guys was pro wrestling school so
they didn’t offer sweaters we didn’t
have a football team nothing like that
but that was my university but what what
pro wrestling school taught me about was
sacrifice taught me a lot about what
goes into just really toiling a little
bit in life I would say because what we
would do is once we were trained then we
were ready to go travel all over the
west coast for $20 in Elks lodges car
dealership pocket parking lots and these
sorts of things just to get our head
by guys like Shane Cody so about two
years into my wrestling journey I was
booked on a show for a promotion out of
the Bay Area and they’re having a big
show up in Eureka Northern California
and it was it was it was a company that
I really wanted to work for because they
they sort of had a 6-degree Kevin Bacon
connection to the WWE for those who are
familiar with this now my five foot
eight hundred sixty pound body thought
at that time hey I can make it to WWE
why not so I was booked on this show I
got to know the promoter he became a
little bit familiar with my background
doing video production and things like
that so he would hire me to produce
commercials for their promotion and what
he would do is say well since you’re
doing this for us why don’t you come
wrestle on our shows so I wrestle on
their shows so I was working very low on
the undercard meaning that I was very
bottom of the totem pole but you know
I’m doing commercials for this guy I’m
feeling pretty good I learned so much
you know over my couple of years I was
bringing all this with me and I made a
mistake that I have not forgot to this
day so you see Shane Cody was the
promoters henchmen meaning that every
locker room in wrestling has someone
who’s kind of watching the locker room
to make sure that you’re doing what
you’re supposed to do with these sort of
quiet unwritten rules you know nothing
about frankly especially if you’re as
new and as green and as mouthy as I am
so the story goes I was booked on the
show and there was this wrestler named
Emperor who was a diminutive French
character Ilan Napoleon I wanted him on
one of my shows at this point now on
booking shows up here in the Modesto
area I’ve promoted shows a mile away
from here so I wanted him on this show
so I have a conversation with him
thinking nothing of it right you know
I’m gonna I’m gonna book low and let him
for a no big deal so I have this
conversation with him go sit down to get
ready for my match and the promoter
comes up to me screaming he’s like what
are you doing this is my locker room you
don’t go out there and talk to my
wrestlers blah blah blah blah blah right
so I’m like I don’t know what’s
happening here I’m getting yelled at by
this dude and all I see is Shane Cody
looking at me probably about 10 feet
away the whole time so I say to myself
okay
I just got yelled at by the promoter in
front of the entire locker room this
can’t be good for me
what does this mean so you know I I let
him do his thing he yelled at me and
then eventually he says you know I think
he’s gonna kick me out right I mean the
assumption would be get out of my locker
room go home
he says it’s cool get ready for the
battle royal and for those of you who
don’t know what a battle royal is it’s
you get a bunch of wrestlers the whole
locker room in a ring that throw someone
over the top rope the last person wins
right so I think to myself okay he
didn’t kick me out I’m clearly dumb to
him but I’m not stupid
and Shane Cody’s staring at me what does
this mean so I say to myself I have a
couple options either one I just put on
my clothes and get out of there or two I
stick around and see what happens so
being 20 I say to myself okay I’m gonna
stick around so I stay for the show so
the the villainous coward or the
villainous main event McDaniel you know
usually walks like this I must have
looked like this walking to the ring I
mean I was just probably white as a
ghost
so we get into the ring the bell rings
about ten feet away from me there’s a 20
by 20 the rings are 20 by 20 I see Shane
Cody and I’m like this dude’s coming for
me I just feel it
so you remember in Chariots of Fire has
anyone seen that movie when the person’s
moving really slow that’s what he looked
like coming at me with his cowbell I’m
like this can’t be good so as he comes
at me someone else jumps in the way
takes the cowbell right to his head bust
him open and and not fake like really
busts his head open so he does that then
he gets up and then that wrestler throws
me out of the ring and I’m like okay
what just happened here this is super
weird I don’t know why he hit him not me
like I’m not really following right so I
get backstage and I go up to this
wrestler and I say to him like hey man
like why did you take that for me and he
said something to me that really stuck
didn’t really know what he meant so I’m
just kind of like I don’t know I learned
that I didn’t get hit that’s great
so I wait for Shane Cody to go and sit
down and Shane wasn’t exactly what we
call a talker he doesn’t look like he’s
the most gregarious guy in the planet so
I go up to him and I for whatever reason
I was kind of outside of myself at this
point I go to and I and I and I put out
my hand and I say thank you and he sort
of looks down then he sort of looks up
and then he says to me kid did you learn
something I did learn something which
I’ll share a little bit here later so
the third person I want to talk about is
someone I’ve never met but I admire
dearly who’s heard of the Nature Boy Ric
Flair see this is my kind of crowd so
for those who do not know how to woo the
Nature Boy Ric Flair is sort of a icon
in professional wrestling let’s call him
our Michael Jordan multi time world
champion been in the wrestling business
for over 40 years just someone who’s
really sort of looked upon as an idol he
was someone that I looked up to as a
child because he was everything I wasn’t
he was jet flying limousine ride and he
had all these things that I wanted to
have in life but didn’t have I was
immediately drawn to him he had a posse
he had all the things that I wanted to
be but I just wasn’t the interesting
thing that I learned about Ric Flair is
just how much alike he and I truly were
just like me he was abandoned as a child
so he was raised he was adopted where I
was in a different situation but he used
athletics and his lifestyle to create
sort of this persona and this gimmick
that really helped him through at a
young age and then it carried on into
his later life not too long ago he ended
up changing his lifestyle though there
was something about him that was part of
his character but not necessarily
something that was known that was a big
part of who he was he he had a problem
with drinking and it was something that
ultimately started taking over his life
to the point where he almost actually
died from complications to drinking it
was something that
really sort of came home for me because
I’ve also too suffered with alcoholism
so I understand what Ric Flair had went
through and to see someone who comes
from a similar background that or comes
from a similar background that I do who
is someone I really looked up to who had
the same problems I did really made me
think to myself that you know we’re not
all that much different so I look at Ric
Flair who’s my idol I see a lot of
myself he started with nothing no
education and he ended up becoming
something big that ended up happening
for me in my own way too I started out
poor but I was able to grow a career and
eventually own my own business which is
something I’m very proud of him being
so what I took from the lessons learned
by my grandma
Shane Cody and Ric Flair began to lay
together what lessons did I learn how do
I apply them to my life so I want to
share three story or three lessons that
I learned from them the first one is
you’re gonna take bumps tuck your chin
so there’s this term in wrestling when
you take a bump and you fall you’ll
you’ll notice people put their head in
like this it’s called tucking your chin
and what that really means is protect
your head right because you never know
if the last if the next bump isn’t gonna
be your last so we all take bumps in
wrestling you’ll take 50-plus per match
so one of the things that I learned is
to take a bump keep myself safe and they
get back up I had plenty of times in my
life where I took those bumps and I got
back up I didn’t let them be my last
bump second is that wrestling and life
are team sports I can’t remember the guy
who took that cowbell shot I really
don’t know he could be here right now
I’m really dude that was me that was me
I never saw him again
I can’t repay him but he and she and
Cody taught me something that night that
still stuck with me for many years we’re
playing a team sport and the actions of
others impact your life and vice versa
I’ve learned to work as a team and I’ll
be prepared protected as a small
business owner and a father I think all
the time about how my actions directly
affect my team and I never want them
taking the cowbell shot for me and the
third part is knowing and trusting your
character Ric Flair taught me that the
outwardly confident people may be
fighting some battles that we don’t know
that you know if we’re scared of
something sometime we need to work
through that living in fear is our own
creation it’s something we frankly can’t
control so I’ve learned not to fear Who
I am
and to embrace what makes me who I am
I’m uneducated but I’m experienced I’m
short but I stand tall I’m nerdy but I
whether anyone agrees with my
characterization of myself is irrelevant
I know who I am and I’m comfortable in
my own skin and most importantly
something I want to share for you guys
tonight is to be comfortable in your own
skin no I’m not stripping by the way
[Music]
[Applause]
okay so I may not have the body I had 20
years ago but those bumps and bruises
along the way brought me here I’m
confident I feel good in my own skin
this may be the last time by the way I
ever stand in my underwear in front of a
group of people ever again but if I do
it’s the most confident and prepared
I’ll ever be I challenge you to find
that moment within yourself
what’s your cowbell moment what’s your
underwear moment thank you
[Applause]
you [Applause]
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