where every single worker can’t wait to
get to work and when they’re there they
give 100% of themselves and they love
every minute of it
can you imagine that perhaps not because
the reality is that many of us have seen
those memes on the internet write me at
work on the Friday night it’s Friday
night it’s 5 o’clock and it’s time to go
home and suddenly people start dancing
through the doors leaping into the lift
here awaiting through the car park and
why it’s like a scene from Fame the
musical and they are so happy if they
get two days of work what’s that all
about just surviving for five days I
love it every 7 wishing your lives away
until the weekend and why is it that we
want to get out of the work place so
quickly is it because when we have our
free time we get to spend that with
people that care about us empathy is
defined as the ability to understand the
feelings and the emotions of another
person and the Gallup Organization has
reported that when individuals feel that
their supervisor at work cares about
them they’re more likely to support
their fellow colleagues they’re more
likely to come up with new ideas and
they’re more likely to share more
information but the thing is only 40
percent of people think that their
supervisor cares about them at all so
most of the time when we go to work we
are just trying to lie learn and stay
hidden imagine you getting up for work
and you slip up
what we call your fake persona suit any
of you wore the suit like that before
you feel like you’ve got to pretend
because you’re going into work right and
I think of the suits being like one of
those old-fashioned suits that the
deep-sea divers used to wear you know
their suits that kind of make them look
like this at the bottom of the ocean
because it’s clumsy it’s cumbersome gets
in your way it stops you from doing your
very best and when you get home you’re
feeling suffocated and stifled you can’t
wait to take it off
until the next day when you’ve got to
put it back on again I used to wear a
suit just like that to work because I
knew that I had to wear it to fit in and
to get ahead I felt I needed to iron out
the kinks and be just like everybody
else but the thing is we all have our
story don’t we something that makes us a
little bit different from the next
person and it’s our story that gives us
our individuality and that makes us who
we are what’s your story my story is
that as a child I was busted and I was
busted by an elderly white English
couple and I had a very happy and loving
upbringing and it was also very British
every Saturday night we would watch
Elvis movies on TV and then when Elvis
wasn’t on telly it seemed like Bruce
Forsyth inhabited there’s the TV sets
and then every single Sunday without
fail we would have a roast to dinner
usually with brussel sprouts but by the
time I got into the workplace I realized
that it wasn’t okay to talk about being
frosted let alone by family of a
different race every single time
childhood stories came up and I
mentioned mine I see this panic look
appear on my colleagues space they were
basically thinking something like oh my
god that sounds really emotional
oh my god I’m frightened what am I
supposed to say
and what they did end up saying was
something like oh sure was it lunchtime
already see you later and they become
and so I realized that being different
in the workplace was bad the running
commentary in my head went something
like you were fostered it makes you
different you’re black that makes you
different difference isn’t good so lie
low keep a low profile and maybe no one
will notice you but the thing is if you
imagine an iceberg right an iceberg has
10% of itself visible above the water
and 90% is hidden but imagine you as the
iceberg in the workplace and that hidden
90% contains all the good stuff that
they hide you for in the first place
it contains your creativity your
initiative your productivity the thing
is we don’t need to hide ourselves away
like that if I think of those colleagues
all they needed to have said was
something like oh you were fostered how
was that for you they didn’t need to
have any answers and they didn’t need to
be afraid
but it would have been cool if they
perhaps just been curious and listened
but instead in the workplace we speak to
those usual safe topics don’t we
celebrity tip chats TV and of course the
sport because those topics keep us
zipped up inside that fake persona suit
and we don’t have to put anything at
risk but what about companies and
corporations what about them why should
they encourage us to show more emotion
in the workplace why should they
encourage us to be ourselves surely it’s
just a simple equation which is money in
equals productivity out because we
machines right but McKinsey reported
that when companies have more diverse
senior management teams and diverse
boards they make 35% higher profits then
companies that don’t have that same
diversity so there’s a really good
reason for women and diverse groups and
minorities to step up and reach those
senior positions in the workplace but on
the other hand there’s something else
going on where it’s been reported that
minorities tend to be scrutinized a lot
more in the workplace and that leads to
poor performance it leads to them ending
up sometimes even losing their jobs or
being disciplined so on the one hand we
need more minorities we need more women
to step up to take those senior roles
but organizations need to change so that
those people are being encouraged in the
first place and not being scrutinized
and treated differently so what’s the
problem here the main problem is that
people like people who are like
yourselves don’t they it’s a very human
problem and what that means is that
anybody who’s in a senior position tends
to want to encourage people who are just
like them so it becomes really hard for
anyone who’s had a different story or a
different background to find their seat
at the table
imagine a male executive and he’s got a
season ticket say to watch Chelsea play
every couple of weeks and he has a
female employee working for him and she
has a young son who goes to watch play
soccer at the local pitch every weekend
never to them might think they’re
completely different but if they would
only ask a simple question how was it
for you they may find they’ve got a lot
more in common than they first thought
because maybe they both watched their
team at the weekend and they’re both
feeling a sensation of pride in joy
because their team won but unless they
get beyond the what did you do to the
how did it feel how will they ever get
to bond and connect because human beings
bond on shared emotion
years ago I thought I had the job of my
dreams I was hired to be an Account
Director I was running a team of 12
people I had a blue tip client on my
roster but six months after I took that
job I was fired and I was fired because
I was too quiet doing meetings now I’m
an introvert and in Traverse don’t
typically tend to be very strong at
speaking up spontaneously in group
situations but my employer never
bothered to find that out about me and
they didn’t bother to learn that I’ve
been up working often till midnight or
till 1:00 in the morning trying to skill
up for the job and read reports and all
that good stuff and in fact the only
time I remember them asking anything
with curiosity about me was during my
job interview and then on the day they
and it was a very tough time because a
lot of my friends are doing really well
and I ended up cutting people out of my
life because I didn’t want them to think
and at the same time I also didn’t want
to share with my Nigerian parents that
I’ve been let go from her job can you
imagine it let go let go
what does that mean do you mean you were
fired I thought that was bad so that
conversation got delayed for a while but
in the meantime what I decided to do was
take my guitar and start singing on the
open mic circuit around London what I
discovered was something really amazing
I learned so much from those audiences
because instead of them shying away from
emotion I wanted more of it they were
hungry to hear stories and when I sang
about myself and told them stories of
things that happened but be yelling out
yeah me too or what happened next and I
realized that if I do that we shouldn’t
be showing emotion was rubbish and that
there was something really rotten in the
workplace that was encouraging us to be
there and to give so much of ourselves
without fully showing who we are and
fully allowing us to connect with each
other because it’s all very well for
companies to have these missions right
in our company mission our Charter is
this etc and to expect the workers to be
like obedient troops following along but
without empathy without emotion how can
we bond together in the first place so I
have a vision because these days I work
as a communications coach in a
professional singer and I have a vision
but in the workplace why shouldn’t more
emotion be encouraged because that’s
what allows us to connect with each
other why should we be asked to check
our emotions at the door on the Monday
morning or leave them at home
if we are allowed to show more emotion
at work there’d be no more need to be
icebergs with only 10% of ourselves
floating above and 90% of the good stuff
hidden away there’d be no more need for
these fake persona suits where we feel
clunky and stifled every day and we
can’t be ourselves and unfortunately
would be no more need for those crazy
memes that we see on the internet with
people feeling miserable on Monday and
fantastic from the Friday lights so I
think you may have heard of bring your
kids to work day or even bring your dog
to work day but I think we should have a
new day and we should call it the bring
yourself to work day but I think it
shouldn’t be just one day of the year it
should be every single day thank you [Applause]
get to work and when they’re there they
give 100% of themselves and they love
every minute of it
can you imagine that perhaps not because
the reality is that many of us have seen
those memes on the internet write me at
work on the Friday night it’s Friday
night it’s 5 o’clock and it’s time to go
home and suddenly people start dancing
through the doors leaping into the lift
here awaiting through the car park and
why it’s like a scene from Fame the
musical and they are so happy if they
get two days of work what’s that all
about just surviving for five days I
love it every 7 wishing your lives away
until the weekend and why is it that we
want to get out of the work place so
quickly is it because when we have our
free time we get to spend that with
people that care about us empathy is
defined as the ability to understand the
feelings and the emotions of another
person and the Gallup Organization has
reported that when individuals feel that
their supervisor at work cares about
them they’re more likely to support
their fellow colleagues they’re more
likely to come up with new ideas and
they’re more likely to share more
information but the thing is only 40
percent of people think that their
supervisor cares about them at all so
most of the time when we go to work we
are just trying to lie learn and stay
hidden imagine you getting up for work
and you slip up
what we call your fake persona suit any
of you wore the suit like that before
you feel like you’ve got to pretend
because you’re going into work right and
I think of the suits being like one of
those old-fashioned suits that the
deep-sea divers used to wear you know
their suits that kind of make them look
like this at the bottom of the ocean
because it’s clumsy it’s cumbersome gets
in your way it stops you from doing your
very best and when you get home you’re
feeling suffocated and stifled you can’t
wait to take it off
until the next day when you’ve got to
put it back on again I used to wear a
suit just like that to work because I
knew that I had to wear it to fit in and
to get ahead I felt I needed to iron out
the kinks and be just like everybody
else but the thing is we all have our
story don’t we something that makes us a
little bit different from the next
person and it’s our story that gives us
our individuality and that makes us who
we are what’s your story my story is
that as a child I was busted and I was
busted by an elderly white English
couple and I had a very happy and loving
upbringing and it was also very British
every Saturday night we would watch
Elvis movies on TV and then when Elvis
wasn’t on telly it seemed like Bruce
Forsyth inhabited there’s the TV sets
and then every single Sunday without
fail we would have a roast to dinner
usually with brussel sprouts but by the
time I got into the workplace I realized
that it wasn’t okay to talk about being
frosted let alone by family of a
different race every single time
childhood stories came up and I
mentioned mine I see this panic look
appear on my colleagues space they were
basically thinking something like oh my
god that sounds really emotional
oh my god I’m frightened what am I
supposed to say
and what they did end up saying was
something like oh sure was it lunchtime
already see you later and they become
and so I realized that being different
in the workplace was bad the running
commentary in my head went something
like you were fostered it makes you
different you’re black that makes you
different difference isn’t good so lie
low keep a low profile and maybe no one
will notice you but the thing is if you
imagine an iceberg right an iceberg has
10% of itself visible above the water
and 90% is hidden but imagine you as the
iceberg in the workplace and that hidden
90% contains all the good stuff that
they hide you for in the first place
it contains your creativity your
initiative your productivity the thing
is we don’t need to hide ourselves away
like that if I think of those colleagues
all they needed to have said was
something like oh you were fostered how
was that for you they didn’t need to
have any answers and they didn’t need to
be afraid
but it would have been cool if they
perhaps just been curious and listened
but instead in the workplace we speak to
those usual safe topics don’t we
celebrity tip chats TV and of course the
sport because those topics keep us
zipped up inside that fake persona suit
and we don’t have to put anything at
risk but what about companies and
corporations what about them why should
they encourage us to show more emotion
in the workplace why should they
encourage us to be ourselves surely it’s
just a simple equation which is money in
equals productivity out because we
machines right but McKinsey reported
that when companies have more diverse
senior management teams and diverse
boards they make 35% higher profits then
companies that don’t have that same
diversity so there’s a really good
reason for women and diverse groups and
minorities to step up and reach those
senior positions in the workplace but on
the other hand there’s something else
going on where it’s been reported that
minorities tend to be scrutinized a lot
more in the workplace and that leads to
poor performance it leads to them ending
up sometimes even losing their jobs or
being disciplined so on the one hand we
need more minorities we need more women
to step up to take those senior roles
but organizations need to change so that
those people are being encouraged in the
first place and not being scrutinized
and treated differently so what’s the
problem here the main problem is that
people like people who are like
yourselves don’t they it’s a very human
problem and what that means is that
anybody who’s in a senior position tends
to want to encourage people who are just
like them so it becomes really hard for
anyone who’s had a different story or a
different background to find their seat
at the table
imagine a male executive and he’s got a
season ticket say to watch Chelsea play
every couple of weeks and he has a
female employee working for him and she
has a young son who goes to watch play
soccer at the local pitch every weekend
never to them might think they’re
completely different but if they would
only ask a simple question how was it
for you they may find they’ve got a lot
more in common than they first thought
because maybe they both watched their
team at the weekend and they’re both
feeling a sensation of pride in joy
because their team won but unless they
get beyond the what did you do to the
how did it feel how will they ever get
to bond and connect because human beings
bond on shared emotion
years ago I thought I had the job of my
dreams I was hired to be an Account
Director I was running a team of 12
people I had a blue tip client on my
roster but six months after I took that
job I was fired and I was fired because
I was too quiet doing meetings now I’m
an introvert and in Traverse don’t
typically tend to be very strong at
speaking up spontaneously in group
situations but my employer never
bothered to find that out about me and
they didn’t bother to learn that I’ve
been up working often till midnight or
till 1:00 in the morning trying to skill
up for the job and read reports and all
that good stuff and in fact the only
time I remember them asking anything
with curiosity about me was during my
job interview and then on the day they
and it was a very tough time because a
lot of my friends are doing really well
and I ended up cutting people out of my
life because I didn’t want them to think
and at the same time I also didn’t want
to share with my Nigerian parents that
I’ve been let go from her job can you
imagine it let go let go
what does that mean do you mean you were
fired I thought that was bad so that
conversation got delayed for a while but
in the meantime what I decided to do was
take my guitar and start singing on the
open mic circuit around London what I
discovered was something really amazing
I learned so much from those audiences
because instead of them shying away from
emotion I wanted more of it they were
hungry to hear stories and when I sang
about myself and told them stories of
things that happened but be yelling out
yeah me too or what happened next and I
realized that if I do that we shouldn’t
be showing emotion was rubbish and that
there was something really rotten in the
workplace that was encouraging us to be
there and to give so much of ourselves
without fully showing who we are and
fully allowing us to connect with each
other because it’s all very well for
companies to have these missions right
in our company mission our Charter is
this etc and to expect the workers to be
like obedient troops following along but
without empathy without emotion how can
we bond together in the first place so I
have a vision because these days I work
as a communications coach in a
professional singer and I have a vision
but in the workplace why shouldn’t more
emotion be encouraged because that’s
what allows us to connect with each
other why should we be asked to check
our emotions at the door on the Monday
morning or leave them at home
if we are allowed to show more emotion
at work there’d be no more need to be
icebergs with only 10% of ourselves
floating above and 90% of the good stuff
hidden away there’d be no more need for
these fake persona suits where we feel
clunky and stifled every day and we
can’t be ourselves and unfortunately
would be no more need for those crazy
memes that we see on the internet with
people feeling miserable on Monday and
fantastic from the Friday lights so I
think you may have heard of bring your
kids to work day or even bring your dog
to work day but I think we should have a
new day and we should call it the bring
yourself to work day but I think it
shouldn’t be just one day of the year it
should be every single day thank you [Applause]
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