we live in a world that is hell-bent on
fitting us into boxes or you can’t be
this if you are that and the boxing
rules are theirs too they will ask you
to stick to one box at a time we also
live in a country that is hell-bent on
telling us that you have to be a certain
way in order to be a certain thing for
instance a stereotypical engineer should
not have too many girlfriends because if
he has a lot of girlfriends how will you
become an engineer in the same way a
stereotypical actor will have no brains
because obviously if you had greens you
would not choose to become an actor in
the same way a stereotypical writer
should not worry about how he or she
looks come on you’re an artist you
should not be worried about the way you
look you should be carefree similarly a
good mom is not supposed to have a life
beyond her kids because how can she be a
good mom if she thinks beyond the
periphery of the children we live in a
society where you just have to be a
certain way as I said to be a certain
thing and it starts right away from our
childhood the first question I remember
being asked when I was growing up and
raise your hand if you did too was a
buddy who could yeah but not shopping it
translated into English what do you want
to be when you grow up what what do you
want to be when you grow up we do not
ask our children who they want to be
when they grow up and I think the who is
more important do you want to become a
kind and a compassionate human being who
may not know geometry who may not know
how obtuse and acute angles work but a
child who grows up
to human being as knows that when we all
run in a parallel each other then we may
never ever mix I think it is very
important to raise a generation of kids
who are not obsessed with what they want
to become but a generation of kids who
want to think about who they want to be
when they grow up and of course what you
want to be will depend on who you are
rather than it being vice versa
we often let it dictate who we are
rather than letting who we are
dictate what we become and just like all
of you I too was obsessed with I wanted
to be it was such an obsession I had no
idea right so I grew up struggling about
what do I want to be Korea what do you
want to be when you grow up and the only
way to answer this question was by doing
a variety of things in my life I’m 30
years old and in the last 30 years I
think I’ve done almost 30 odd jobs are
chosen 30 professions to the year only
to find out that doing a variety of
things is what makes me who I am now
when somebody asks me priyah what do you
want to do and I’m sure you heard that
in my introduction as well it takes me a
minute and a half to explain what I do
for a living or how I pay my bills and
believe me I’m not looking forward to
the day when it takes me a second to
answer it or where it is just a one-word
answer
so I’ll tell you a little bit about
myself about how it all began and before
I tell you that story
there’s the disclaimer my story is not
the magnanimous narration of victory
over evil there is no hero no heroine no
villain doesn’t have a happy
melodramatic or a sad ending it is just
a story in progress and a very average
story I come from a normal middle-class
family in Dehradun yes the accent is
fake let’s get that out of the way
so I come from a normal middle-class
family in Dehradun a family with very
middle-class aspiration and there’s one
thing very special about middle-class
aspirations our aspirations are not in
the middle they’re always up there hi my
dad wanted me to become an engineer
because he wanted to but he could not my
mom wants me to become a doctor because
she wanted to that she could not I
became neither because neither did I
want to
nor did I choose to be but I was very
academic student I excelled at school
and students like mine who are super
academic usually conform you know they
fit into that box of what a good student
like I think act that way and their
choices are also dictated by being that
good student I would the nerdy rebel the
amount of my rebellion was the same as
my percentage in class 12 94.3% rebel
and I liked it that way I wanted to keep
it up after I finished class 12 I had to
answer what do you want to do Priya and
I had no idea so at 17 because I had a
love for literature I decided to do
honours in English literature by that
time my family’s circumstances had
changed I no longer had the Liberty to
pursue arts I had chosen us in class
11th and 12 even though I had done
really well it’s time I still remember
my mother’s reaction to me saying mama I
want to choose arts it was like an a
cockapoo serial mom you could zoom into
her face and she would go Kia yeah yeah
[Applause]
so I started doing my English honors
degree when I was 17 and there’s a funny
story that I remember that when I was 27
years old three years ago I was a high
school English teacher and a student in
Australia walked up to me and said yes
I’m 17 and I still don’t know what I
wanted to do I looked at her straight in
the eye and thread Melissa I’m 27 and I
while I was a high school teacher I
realized that I was trying really hard
to once again fit into that one box of
what a teacher is supposed to be like
fortunately I happened to go into a slam
poetry competition it was a district
slam and I told an angry poem on stage
I’m telling that angry poem on stage was
way more enlightening than my anger has
ever been I did really well in it and I
realized that as a teacher I could still
be a spoken word poet I didn’t have to
fit into that one box I could make the
boundaries of my own walks fluid and the
only person who could do that was myself
it was during spoken word poetry that I
decided that I want to start doing
stand-up comedy I realized I could be
telling an angry poem about war on one
stage and on the same night go to
another stage and talk about the
atrocities that happen at the border and
look at life through a sense of realism
while being humorous at the same time I
realized that the only person who could
move from one box to another one other
was myself and I did exactly that how
many of you here have watched Big Boss
or Big Brother it’s okay I won’t Church
you I can’t
a lot of intellectuals give me a lot of
flak for having done Big Brother and big
boss why because they want you to be
that typical reality TV contestant they
have a box for it that box where you’re
not supposed to have an opinion a box we
are only supposed to do certain kind of
work after you come out of that show and
I refuse to get into that box because I
haven’t created it for myself I did a
lot of degrees in my life after doing my
English honors I did a post-grad in
applied linguistics I did a masters in
teaching middle and secondary I did an
immense by research which was halfway
through a PhD and I realized that I was
doing all of that just to accumulate
degrees I think we all confuse literacy
with education all of these degrees I’ve
got four they have only made me literate
not educated because education I believe
is something really really beyond the
classroom and that’s exactly what I’m
doing in my life right now I’m educating
myself as I said I’ve done a lot of jobs
in India I worked as a call center
agents that’s where it all started
I worked as a quality analyst I worked
as a tutor I worked as a trainer then I
went to Australia I led my typical
immigrant lifestyle I started working as
an appointment setter
I gave fliers to people walking past in
the shopping centre which is why now I
always stop and take them I then became
a high school teacher and then I came
back to India now I do a variety of
things I act I write standup
I do spoken word poetry I’m still a
registered teacher I do radio for the
Australian Broadcasting Corporation
every now and then while I live in
Mumbai
I practice my fake accent every day I’m
an unapologetic feminist I’m still a big
brother and Big Boss contesters I
sometimes choose to fly business class
sometimes I take shared autos shared ABS
I do travel in the Mumbai locu I eat at
the finest restaurant in Mumbai
sometimes at other times I survive on
average oh and a cutting chai and a lot
of people ask me why it’s because this
professional fluidity is one thing I
want to give myself a lifestyle that is
also not boxed anywhere I want to offer
myself a variety of lifestyle which is
fluid where I can move from one box to
with everything that I do right now in
my life the biggest dilemma that I’ve
faced you know there these two boxes
there is one box that feeds my stomach
and then there is another box that feeds
my soul what’s happening right now in my
life is and should happen in everybody’s
life is an effort to combine these two
boxes it’s not always easy you will not
always do work that feeds you so you
will not always do work that feeds your
stomach but as long as you’re doing a
bit of both you’re all right and that’s
exactly what I’m trying to do in my life
with the Bourbons I still failed at
success I so succeeds at failure but in
doing so there’s one very particular
thing I don’t let my success or my
failure define me I let it educate me
because I think that is most important
things that I’ve got in my life
as much of realised banner a story
citizen I’ve not discovered radio have
not redefines the principles of breath
I’ve not suffered an extreme form of
tragedy any kind it’s just an average
story with a not so average lesson
in there it’s very cliche for people to
tell you stay out of the box what I’m
telling you here is stay in the box it’s
okay but make sure that the door is open
for you to choose other boxes if you
need to a close friend once told me what
would you do if you were not scared and
honest to god I would do exactly what
I’m doing in life at the moment a very
important to remember which I learned
the hard way
was that I don’t have to close one door
in order to open the other I didn’t have
to give up on being a school teacher in
order to be spoken with us I didn’t have
to give up on being a spoken word artist
in order to fit that stereotype of a
comedian I didn’t have to give up on
being a teacher a spoken word artist and
a comedian in order to become to be a
column writer I didn’t have to give up
all of those four boxes in order to do
radio and that’s exactly what I’m trying
to tell you here now when I look back
and somebody asks my ten year old self
what do you want to be my answer is
[Music] [Applause]
fitting us into boxes or you can’t be
this if you are that and the boxing
rules are theirs too they will ask you
to stick to one box at a time we also
live in a country that is hell-bent on
telling us that you have to be a certain
way in order to be a certain thing for
instance a stereotypical engineer should
not have too many girlfriends because if
he has a lot of girlfriends how will you
become an engineer in the same way a
stereotypical actor will have no brains
because obviously if you had greens you
would not choose to become an actor in
the same way a stereotypical writer
should not worry about how he or she
looks come on you’re an artist you
should not be worried about the way you
look you should be carefree similarly a
good mom is not supposed to have a life
beyond her kids because how can she be a
good mom if she thinks beyond the
periphery of the children we live in a
society where you just have to be a
certain way as I said to be a certain
thing and it starts right away from our
childhood the first question I remember
being asked when I was growing up and
raise your hand if you did too was a
buddy who could yeah but not shopping it
translated into English what do you want
to be when you grow up what what do you
want to be when you grow up we do not
ask our children who they want to be
when they grow up and I think the who is
more important do you want to become a
kind and a compassionate human being who
may not know geometry who may not know
how obtuse and acute angles work but a
child who grows up
to human being as knows that when we all
run in a parallel each other then we may
never ever mix I think it is very
important to raise a generation of kids
who are not obsessed with what they want
to become but a generation of kids who
want to think about who they want to be
when they grow up and of course what you
want to be will depend on who you are
rather than it being vice versa
we often let it dictate who we are
rather than letting who we are
dictate what we become and just like all
of you I too was obsessed with I wanted
to be it was such an obsession I had no
idea right so I grew up struggling about
what do I want to be Korea what do you
want to be when you grow up and the only
way to answer this question was by doing
a variety of things in my life I’m 30
years old and in the last 30 years I
think I’ve done almost 30 odd jobs are
chosen 30 professions to the year only
to find out that doing a variety of
things is what makes me who I am now
when somebody asks me priyah what do you
want to do and I’m sure you heard that
in my introduction as well it takes me a
minute and a half to explain what I do
for a living or how I pay my bills and
believe me I’m not looking forward to
the day when it takes me a second to
answer it or where it is just a one-word
answer
so I’ll tell you a little bit about
myself about how it all began and before
I tell you that story
there’s the disclaimer my story is not
the magnanimous narration of victory
over evil there is no hero no heroine no
villain doesn’t have a happy
melodramatic or a sad ending it is just
a story in progress and a very average
story I come from a normal middle-class
family in Dehradun yes the accent is
fake let’s get that out of the way
so I come from a normal middle-class
family in Dehradun a family with very
middle-class aspiration and there’s one
thing very special about middle-class
aspirations our aspirations are not in
the middle they’re always up there hi my
dad wanted me to become an engineer
because he wanted to but he could not my
mom wants me to become a doctor because
she wanted to that she could not I
became neither because neither did I
want to
nor did I choose to be but I was very
academic student I excelled at school
and students like mine who are super
academic usually conform you know they
fit into that box of what a good student
like I think act that way and their
choices are also dictated by being that
good student I would the nerdy rebel the
amount of my rebellion was the same as
my percentage in class 12 94.3% rebel
and I liked it that way I wanted to keep
it up after I finished class 12 I had to
answer what do you want to do Priya and
I had no idea so at 17 because I had a
love for literature I decided to do
honours in English literature by that
time my family’s circumstances had
changed I no longer had the Liberty to
pursue arts I had chosen us in class
11th and 12 even though I had done
really well it’s time I still remember
my mother’s reaction to me saying mama I
want to choose arts it was like an a
cockapoo serial mom you could zoom into
her face and she would go Kia yeah yeah
[Applause]
so I started doing my English honors
degree when I was 17 and there’s a funny
story that I remember that when I was 27
years old three years ago I was a high
school English teacher and a student in
Australia walked up to me and said yes
I’m 17 and I still don’t know what I
wanted to do I looked at her straight in
the eye and thread Melissa I’m 27 and I
while I was a high school teacher I
realized that I was trying really hard
to once again fit into that one box of
what a teacher is supposed to be like
fortunately I happened to go into a slam
poetry competition it was a district
slam and I told an angry poem on stage
I’m telling that angry poem on stage was
way more enlightening than my anger has
ever been I did really well in it and I
realized that as a teacher I could still
be a spoken word poet I didn’t have to
fit into that one box I could make the
boundaries of my own walks fluid and the
only person who could do that was myself
it was during spoken word poetry that I
decided that I want to start doing
stand-up comedy I realized I could be
telling an angry poem about war on one
stage and on the same night go to
another stage and talk about the
atrocities that happen at the border and
look at life through a sense of realism
while being humorous at the same time I
realized that the only person who could
move from one box to another one other
was myself and I did exactly that how
many of you here have watched Big Boss
or Big Brother it’s okay I won’t Church
you I can’t
a lot of intellectuals give me a lot of
flak for having done Big Brother and big
boss why because they want you to be
that typical reality TV contestant they
have a box for it that box where you’re
not supposed to have an opinion a box we
are only supposed to do certain kind of
work after you come out of that show and
I refuse to get into that box because I
haven’t created it for myself I did a
lot of degrees in my life after doing my
English honors I did a post-grad in
applied linguistics I did a masters in
teaching middle and secondary I did an
immense by research which was halfway
through a PhD and I realized that I was
doing all of that just to accumulate
degrees I think we all confuse literacy
with education all of these degrees I’ve
got four they have only made me literate
not educated because education I believe
is something really really beyond the
classroom and that’s exactly what I’m
doing in my life right now I’m educating
myself as I said I’ve done a lot of jobs
in India I worked as a call center
agents that’s where it all started
I worked as a quality analyst I worked
as a tutor I worked as a trainer then I
went to Australia I led my typical
immigrant lifestyle I started working as
an appointment setter
I gave fliers to people walking past in
the shopping centre which is why now I
always stop and take them I then became
a high school teacher and then I came
back to India now I do a variety of
things I act I write standup
I do spoken word poetry I’m still a
registered teacher I do radio for the
Australian Broadcasting Corporation
every now and then while I live in
Mumbai
I practice my fake accent every day I’m
an unapologetic feminist I’m still a big
brother and Big Boss contesters I
sometimes choose to fly business class
sometimes I take shared autos shared ABS
I do travel in the Mumbai locu I eat at
the finest restaurant in Mumbai
sometimes at other times I survive on
average oh and a cutting chai and a lot
of people ask me why it’s because this
professional fluidity is one thing I
want to give myself a lifestyle that is
also not boxed anywhere I want to offer
myself a variety of lifestyle which is
fluid where I can move from one box to
with everything that I do right now in
my life the biggest dilemma that I’ve
faced you know there these two boxes
there is one box that feeds my stomach
and then there is another box that feeds
my soul what’s happening right now in my
life is and should happen in everybody’s
life is an effort to combine these two
boxes it’s not always easy you will not
always do work that feeds you so you
will not always do work that feeds your
stomach but as long as you’re doing a
bit of both you’re all right and that’s
exactly what I’m trying to do in my life
with the Bourbons I still failed at
success I so succeeds at failure but in
doing so there’s one very particular
thing I don’t let my success or my
failure define me I let it educate me
because I think that is most important
things that I’ve got in my life
as much of realised banner a story
citizen I’ve not discovered radio have
not redefines the principles of breath
I’ve not suffered an extreme form of
tragedy any kind it’s just an average
story with a not so average lesson
in there it’s very cliche for people to
tell you stay out of the box what I’m
telling you here is stay in the box it’s
okay but make sure that the door is open
for you to choose other boxes if you
need to a close friend once told me what
would you do if you were not scared and
honest to god I would do exactly what
I’m doing in life at the moment a very
important to remember which I learned
the hard way
was that I don’t have to close one door
in order to open the other I didn’t have
to give up on being a school teacher in
order to be spoken with us I didn’t have
to give up on being a spoken word artist
in order to fit that stereotype of a
comedian I didn’t have to give up on
being a teacher a spoken word artist and
a comedian in order to become to be a
column writer I didn’t have to give up
all of those four boxes in order to do
radio and that’s exactly what I’m trying
to tell you here now when I look back
and somebody asks my ten year old self
what do you want to be my answer is
[Music] [Applause]
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