isn’t this amazing we’re all sitting
here tonight together alive breathing in
and out in these magnificent beautiful
and mysterious bodies bodies that digest
food and send nutrients where they need
to go without us even thinking about it
bodies that feel the weight and warmth
of the clothing on our skin bodies that
through our lenses and our gelatinous
eyeballs capture images and send those
images through our brain through the
circuitry of the neurological web that
we are in our gray matter and translates
what we’re seeing into meaning we’re
amazing we are so incredible and yet
what if there was more to us than what
we know right now what if we had hidden
talents genius beauty in us that we had
no idea existed what if we missed that
what if we were to die and not realize
our potential that almost happened to me
but if it and the reason I’m here
tonight is because I don’t want it to
happen to anyone we are here for a brief
time a very short period and if we don’t
stop and open ourselves up to the
possibility of what is in us we will
have a story to tell you has two parts
they both happen they both started in
2009 the first was a surgery I had
following a dislocated hip I have had
two hips replaced one of them dislocated
twice once well in the bar of a
second-floor restaurant and the waiter
in the head chef
to carry me down the stairs so I could
go to the hospital where the emergency
room doctor wrapped a sheet around my
leg and yanked my hip bagging into place
it worked but it wasn’t the preferred
way of going about business so they did
another surgery the second surgery and
the surgery they did was fine for a few
days and then I developed a staph
infection at the site of the incision I
don’t know if any of you have ever had a
staph infection but it’s not good they
go back in they treat it very
aggressively they go back to another
surgery remove the prosthesis clean
everything out fleshy with antibiotics
would replace the prosthesis again it’s
pretty serious business you don’t want
to have a staph infection and what
because what what they do then is they
put a PICC line in your arm and and fill
you with antibiotics intravenous
antibiotics that travel through your
body in my case for months I had a
visiting nurse that came regularly to
visit me I had my own walker
I had a basket on my Walker I was
trapped at home and I don’t like being
trapped at this time one of my two
artist sisters came to stay with me
while I recovered and she brought with
her canvasses brushes oil paints two of
my sisters are artists my father was an
artist he had recently passed away and
she brought the some of his supplies and
she said to me we’re going to paint you
know I had no choice really is just
going to do whatever she said so I did
it was early summer the peonies in the
garden were in full bloom fuchsia pink
you know they’re gorgeous Hedy with a
Roma beautiful she went out and picked
the flowers brought them in we sat on my
front porch me with my walker her with
her her tea and she said now look at the
flowers and paint what you see so I said
okay and this is what I painted I
thought it was pretty good first
painting visiting nurse thought it was
good my sister thought it was good my
husband thought it was good so
Oh what happened to me in that moment
was amazing something went off in my
head something blew up in the part of
the brain that recognizes pleasure and
desire I felt something I hadn’t felt
before I felt a possibility of doing
something that I didn’t know I could do
I started painting studying I took
classes I studied with my sisters I
studied with artists and I paint every
didn’t know I could do that
I had no idea fortunately I had that
nice staph infection my sister came to
visit she brought it worked out
perfectly I could have missed that I
could have missed that opportunity and I
didn’t I was able to harness that
particular part of me that had been
stuck and trapped inside my body inside
my being and I could have died I mean I
was pretty old at that point I could
have died without knowing that I
continued painting this is my first
landscape painting when you paint what’s
something that happens to me and I think
to other artists is that you see things
differently you see things through a
lens that you didn’t realize you haven’t
I always thought it was observant but
not really I didn’t really look at
things I didn’t look at the colors in
the clouds I didn’t look at the shadows
on the grass in the way that I do now I
didn’t realize that every 15 minutes
when the Sun is out the shape the
shadows change I saw a life so
differently how what would have happened
if I had died and missed that we work so
hard at living we get up in the morning
we hit the ground running we go to work
to get money to buy sneakers for the
kids send them to college
we take classes we study we’re
constantly working and when we work we
close our
selves up not intentionally but where we
get tight we look just right in front of
us we look at where we need to go next
and enclosing ourselves up we don’t give
ourselves that space and room for
possibility I really believe this and I
don’t want it to happen to you what I
suggest is that you take a breath that
you take a break and give yourselves a
chance to be open a chance for that
beauty inside of you to find the way out
a chance to discover something that
you’ve always been interested in but
maybe never took the time to do give
something a try you can only win there’s
no failure the older I get the less I’m
afraid of failure
so I paint now is sort of reckless
abandon I have a studio at home and the
windows I have doors to the porch the
windows are covered with spattered
painting every couple weeks my husband
goes out and scrapes the paint off and I
apologize it I’m sorry I did that
however it’s because I am not afraid of
making mistakes I paint with the desire
and the love for what I’m doing with
reckless abandon and it works it
absolutely works so what I’m going to
suggest that you do is that you go to
your kitchen window and you look out the
window or any window and you stand there
and breathe and you look at the colors
in the clouds you look at every tree
until you’ve seen all of them you look
at the birds landing on the feeder and
realize that they have feathers that are
calculated for a flight and comfort and
beauty and they are beyond your your
imagination they’re gorgeous
and you stand there and breathe and take
it in and open yourselves up and forgive
yourself for what you didn’t do today or
what didn’t go well and don’t worry
about tomorrow you’re going to get there
it will
get done just take that time and then
when you’re making dinner chop the
garlic very very finely chop it until it
is just fine fine grains and savor the
smell crush the tomatoes with a wooden
spoon stir them together add the
rosemary even if the recipe doesn’t call
for it and embrace that moment and let
yourself be and think about what you
love and what you’ve always wanted to
try and never did because you were too
busy living life the place where the sky
meets the ocean is a place of undeniable
mystery and beauty and if you take the
time to really stop and look at that you
will be filled with a sense of wonder
and imagination and if you paint it it
might look like that don’t work so hard
at life that you miss living I almost
did but I didn’t just in the nick of
time and I hope you don’t either find
your artistry find your artery deep
inside of you and live your life don’t
be afraid take a chance thank [Applause]