my second question we’re all my good
girls that listen it’s a little harder
to answer this one I know I know but
maybe this will resonate with you if you
are I have spent the majority of my life
living under the belief that in order to
take a step in life I needed someone’s
approval on what that thing was and
somebody’s permission to move I realize
now looking back that I might not have
had that exactly correct especially when
it came to following the trail of my
that little good girl is me she’s got a
certificate so it’s very official this
was taken right before my family moved
from our long time home a border town in
South Texas and we moved here to
Littleton Colorado I remember my first
day of school nine years old fourth
grade I came out onto the playground
looking around the kids on the monkey
bars chasing each other around and I
became keenly aware that one of these
things was not like the other nobody
looked like me I thought no problem I
got this I’ve never had trouble making
friends so although it was very
self-conscious I was optimistic so I
went in a class teacher asked a question
I raised my hand good girl style waited
for the permission to speak I did and
just as I did a girl across the room
stood up she looked at me with disdain
in her eyes and she said shut up you
insert racial comment here I was
devastated because well not only did she
get my ethnicity wrong she called me out
for being different and she said because
I was I didn’t deserve to speak so I
stood up tears pouring down my face and
I said that is the most insulting thing
anyone has ever said to me and wouldn’t
you know it for standing up for myself I
got in trouble
later that day you would found me curled
into a little ball crying in my parents
bathroom floor for hours I didn’t
understand quite what had happened but I
knew I had been changed it wasn’t until
years later when I look back at that I
realized two things happen that day one
that was the first time I ever realized
that I was other and to that’s when I
first started believing that my voice
didn’t matter fast forward some 27 years
later to this past August when I did
something crazy
yeah yes that’s right I left a great job
with nothing lined up and no plan I know
this is because my heart my soul my
intuition were whispering and then
screaming at me that I was on the wrong
path and as I mentioned before I always
looked for external validation people
telling me when it was okay to move I
wanted someone to say it’s okay for you
to lead and lead with the gifts that you
have and the way you want to use them
chorus life doesn’t work like that
I remember beginning of my career
sitting in meetings with this Hermione
Granger type energy just so excited I
had to sit on my hands because I wanted
to speak so badly till later in my
career when it just became this quiet
dejection because I thought well if
somebody even did call on me to speak
what I had to say wouldn’t matter anyway
so I got quiet and my light to my inner
light dimmed so low I had this sadness
just carried around with me everywhere
and I felt honestly worthless I didn’t
know why I was here and my closest
friends and family didn’t even know
because I’m a good girl you guys I smile
I tell you I’m fine and then I asked how
can I help you well listen it’s not that
I didn’t have great jobs over my
lifetime it wasn’t that it’s just that I
can fit this chelli shaped peg into this
round hole and I did not fit I had to
disconnect from myself in order to
survive and I realized that’s not the
way it was gonna be for me the cost of
living a life that was wrong for me was
going to be greater then the risk of
perhaps maybe not having a paycheck for
a while so I took this big running leap
knowing that no matter what I would land
on my feet but that’s not what this is
about
I wanted to fly so I took the big leap
and I made a blog about it because you
know that’s what we do and I wanted to
share my stories because I thought if
even one person said you know what I
find comfort in that because
two would like to live my life’s purpose
then for me it would be worth it
so what stops us from doing that thing
fear fear of failure fear of being seen
differently by people who are used to
seeing you a certain way feared not
having the resources to make it through
a transition like this what about the
fear that the message you feel in your
heart is the one you are meant to bring
it’s already being said by someone else
let me tell you though two people can
say the exact same thing and have
completely different meanings for
example if I were to say to you
the tragedy is not to die but to be
wasted
that might hit you differently than the
yeah Hannibal Lecter and I may resonate
with you differently all that does it
speak your heart anyway there is nobody
more qualified to speak your truth than
you how would it feel to have the
freedom to be you everywhere you went Oh
freedom that is a good word I feel that
in my body when I say freedom to me my
breath drops into my belly my chest
expands and I get these tingles across
my upper back when something is true
when I’m on the wrong path I feel like
I’m carrying a sack of rocks in my
stomach and my chest contracts my breath
gets small and I get very lethargic our
bodies are so wise they tell us things
we don’t even realize are happening and
I bet if you thought about it you could
identify those things within you too so
what happens when we choose to ignore
those things there is a cost to that to
our bodies our minds our spirit our
relationships how about the job you’re
doing now do you show
every day halfway because you’re an
inspired you don’t feel appreciated you
just show up till you can clock out and
then you come home and you have a glass
or bottle of wine take the edge off
forget about things for a little while
then you do it again the next day and
the next and you start to get irritated
because your loved ones keep wanting
things from you and you just explode at
them because you weren’t able to
identify the things that you needed for
help did you disconnect from your own
inner voice so much that you don’t even
know what it says anymore
and have you become your own worst bully
what about your pocketbook how much are
you spending on things to just make you
happy for a little while right how much
money do we spend on that and what about
our time how many minutes a day are you
wouldn’t it be better to just take the
leap already I did and let me tell you I
do not have a home of the answers I am
still figuring this out as I go
but you know what I know now I’m back on
path as one of my teachers with Becca
Campbell put so beautifully I am
following the trail of things that light
me up and for me that’s building
community speaking teaching healing
singing and dancing writing I’m not nine
years old anymore and I know now that my
voice matters because in here I know it
matters I look back at that little girl
with so much compassion and with so much
love for feeling that she had to play
small to stay safe and for believing
that she had no choice but to give away
her power and now I know it’s time to
let her go so my wish for you my
invitation is that when you have some
time for yourself take a piece of paper
sit down
tune in and think to yourself what is
that thing in my wildest dreams that
I would do if I wasn’t scared and then
make a list write down all the ways that
it’s costing you to stay on a path that
is not right for you and realize you can
choose that at any time you just have to
make that decision you’re the only one
who can do that but I’m just gonna say
it it might not be easy things might get
worse before they get better
there will be sacrifices involved money
or relationships or what-have-you but
for my money when you look back years
down the line to this moment
you’re gonna thank yourself and say
because I was brave I was able to change
my life forever and look at where I am
now so what is the world missing out on
while you wait for permission I can
promise you that each and every single
one of you is filled with gifts and
talents that are just waiting to be seen
please don’t let your gifts go and
realize because it’s like I always say
the tragedy is not to die but to be
wasted
thank you
[Applause]
you [Music]
girls that listen it’s a little harder
to answer this one I know I know but
maybe this will resonate with you if you
are I have spent the majority of my life
living under the belief that in order to
take a step in life I needed someone’s
approval on what that thing was and
somebody’s permission to move I realize
now looking back that I might not have
had that exactly correct especially when
it came to following the trail of my
that little good girl is me she’s got a
certificate so it’s very official this
was taken right before my family moved
from our long time home a border town in
South Texas and we moved here to
Littleton Colorado I remember my first
day of school nine years old fourth
grade I came out onto the playground
looking around the kids on the monkey
bars chasing each other around and I
became keenly aware that one of these
things was not like the other nobody
looked like me I thought no problem I
got this I’ve never had trouble making
friends so although it was very
self-conscious I was optimistic so I
went in a class teacher asked a question
I raised my hand good girl style waited
for the permission to speak I did and
just as I did a girl across the room
stood up she looked at me with disdain
in her eyes and she said shut up you
insert racial comment here I was
devastated because well not only did she
get my ethnicity wrong she called me out
for being different and she said because
I was I didn’t deserve to speak so I
stood up tears pouring down my face and
I said that is the most insulting thing
anyone has ever said to me and wouldn’t
you know it for standing up for myself I
got in trouble
later that day you would found me curled
into a little ball crying in my parents
bathroom floor for hours I didn’t
understand quite what had happened but I
knew I had been changed it wasn’t until
years later when I look back at that I
realized two things happen that day one
that was the first time I ever realized
that I was other and to that’s when I
first started believing that my voice
didn’t matter fast forward some 27 years
later to this past August when I did
something crazy
yeah yes that’s right I left a great job
with nothing lined up and no plan I know
this is because my heart my soul my
intuition were whispering and then
screaming at me that I was on the wrong
path and as I mentioned before I always
looked for external validation people
telling me when it was okay to move I
wanted someone to say it’s okay for you
to lead and lead with the gifts that you
have and the way you want to use them
chorus life doesn’t work like that
I remember beginning of my career
sitting in meetings with this Hermione
Granger type energy just so excited I
had to sit on my hands because I wanted
to speak so badly till later in my
career when it just became this quiet
dejection because I thought well if
somebody even did call on me to speak
what I had to say wouldn’t matter anyway
so I got quiet and my light to my inner
light dimmed so low I had this sadness
just carried around with me everywhere
and I felt honestly worthless I didn’t
know why I was here and my closest
friends and family didn’t even know
because I’m a good girl you guys I smile
I tell you I’m fine and then I asked how
can I help you well listen it’s not that
I didn’t have great jobs over my
lifetime it wasn’t that it’s just that I
can fit this chelli shaped peg into this
round hole and I did not fit I had to
disconnect from myself in order to
survive and I realized that’s not the
way it was gonna be for me the cost of
living a life that was wrong for me was
going to be greater then the risk of
perhaps maybe not having a paycheck for
a while so I took this big running leap
knowing that no matter what I would land
on my feet but that’s not what this is
about
I wanted to fly so I took the big leap
and I made a blog about it because you
know that’s what we do and I wanted to
share my stories because I thought if
even one person said you know what I
find comfort in that because
two would like to live my life’s purpose
then for me it would be worth it
so what stops us from doing that thing
fear fear of failure fear of being seen
differently by people who are used to
seeing you a certain way feared not
having the resources to make it through
a transition like this what about the
fear that the message you feel in your
heart is the one you are meant to bring
it’s already being said by someone else
let me tell you though two people can
say the exact same thing and have
completely different meanings for
example if I were to say to you
the tragedy is not to die but to be
wasted
that might hit you differently than the
yeah Hannibal Lecter and I may resonate
with you differently all that does it
speak your heart anyway there is nobody
more qualified to speak your truth than
you how would it feel to have the
freedom to be you everywhere you went Oh
freedom that is a good word I feel that
in my body when I say freedom to me my
breath drops into my belly my chest
expands and I get these tingles across
my upper back when something is true
when I’m on the wrong path I feel like
I’m carrying a sack of rocks in my
stomach and my chest contracts my breath
gets small and I get very lethargic our
bodies are so wise they tell us things
we don’t even realize are happening and
I bet if you thought about it you could
identify those things within you too so
what happens when we choose to ignore
those things there is a cost to that to
our bodies our minds our spirit our
relationships how about the job you’re
doing now do you show
every day halfway because you’re an
inspired you don’t feel appreciated you
just show up till you can clock out and
then you come home and you have a glass
or bottle of wine take the edge off
forget about things for a little while
then you do it again the next day and
the next and you start to get irritated
because your loved ones keep wanting
things from you and you just explode at
them because you weren’t able to
identify the things that you needed for
help did you disconnect from your own
inner voice so much that you don’t even
know what it says anymore
and have you become your own worst bully
what about your pocketbook how much are
you spending on things to just make you
happy for a little while right how much
money do we spend on that and what about
our time how many minutes a day are you
wouldn’t it be better to just take the
leap already I did and let me tell you I
do not have a home of the answers I am
still figuring this out as I go
but you know what I know now I’m back on
path as one of my teachers with Becca
Campbell put so beautifully I am
following the trail of things that light
me up and for me that’s building
community speaking teaching healing
singing and dancing writing I’m not nine
years old anymore and I know now that my
voice matters because in here I know it
matters I look back at that little girl
with so much compassion and with so much
love for feeling that she had to play
small to stay safe and for believing
that she had no choice but to give away
her power and now I know it’s time to
let her go so my wish for you my
invitation is that when you have some
time for yourself take a piece of paper
sit down
tune in and think to yourself what is
that thing in my wildest dreams that
I would do if I wasn’t scared and then
make a list write down all the ways that
it’s costing you to stay on a path that
is not right for you and realize you can
choose that at any time you just have to
make that decision you’re the only one
who can do that but I’m just gonna say
it it might not be easy things might get
worse before they get better
there will be sacrifices involved money
or relationships or what-have-you but
for my money when you look back years
down the line to this moment
you’re gonna thank yourself and say
because I was brave I was able to change
my life forever and look at where I am
now so what is the world missing out on
while you wait for permission I can
promise you that each and every single
one of you is filled with gifts and
talents that are just waiting to be seen
please don’t let your gifts go and
realize because it’s like I always say
the tragedy is not to die but to be
wasted
thank you
[Applause]
you [Music]
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