Ubuntu it’s a special word that was
taught to me by a mentor in my life
named Archbishop Desmond Tutu we were
sitting at dinner one night and I was
looking at him and I was quite nervous I
had a hard time communicating with him
and having conversation
midway through dinner he looked at me
and he said why aren’t you talking and I
said I’m not really good at small talk I
don’t really know how to engage in this
conversation with you you helped to end
the apartheid you never rose a fist I’m
not really sure how to start that
conversation and he reached over and he
put his hand on my hand and he said I’m
your grandfather
although I may be black in your white we
are a part of this human family
Ubuntu means I am Who I am because of
who we all are together let me tell you
a little bit about my story I am a
cyclist first and foremost I love
cycling all through middle school and
adolescence I had a major issue with
depression and anxiety
I used cycling as a way to deal with
that depression and anxiety my dad had a
bike shop growing up and so I was the
little girl in the back of the bike shop
that was basically trying to get my
hands dirty and learn everything I could
about cycling I loved it I loved cycling
when I got older into my teenage years
when everyone else was hitting the beach
and surfing I grew up in Daytona I would
want to be on my bike and I would want
to ride for hours and hours and hours
because of that rhythmic motion that
cadence that I was able to get in that
energy the feeling of the air that kind
of just tickles your little little cheek
hairs you know what I mean the feeling
of my hair moving in the wind my
connection to the world loved cycling as
I got older it became my means of
transportation to work my husband and I
took a job move to Connecticut I was
working for an international nonprofit
and I used to travel back and forth
twelve miles each way to work
it’s a beautiful ride as you know New
England is a gorgeous place so where we
live it’s the coastline of New England
so travel to work it was a beautiful
beautiful fall day it was actually seven
years ago this week as I got halfway
home leaves are falling off the trees
the beautiful smell of the ocean salt
air pumpkins everywhere colors
everywhere there’s a certain change in
the air right that’s going on with fall
and I was embracing it I was getting
ready to go home because I had the
chicken on the counter ready it was
defrosting for dinner
I had kissed my husband goodbye he was a
postal worker he was going off to work I
kissed our lab Sedona goodbye I’ll see
you in a couple hours I never made it
home halfway home a multi-ton freight
truck came down a side road I had enough
moments to look up and think all right
and I was getting run over run sets and
then back sets of tires the thing that I
loved the thing that connected me to the
world around me had now become something
that it literally pulled me apart
literally from the sternum down past my
knees I questioned because I didn’t lose
consciousness thankfully and not
thankfully I had been an EMT years prior
so I began to triage myself I’m probably
gonna die I thought I knew I needed to
scream and yell I knew if I was
screaming and yelling I was getting
blood and oxygen to my heart into my
brain I was Vaser dilating I knew that
little bit as an EMT and I knew that as
long as I was vasodilating I had more of
a chance of survival because if I went
unconscious my chances were much more
slim my paramedics one of whom is here
in the front showed up in record time
that me backboarded taken away
I was screaming and yelling I want to
survive I want to you know I want to be
a wife I want to be a mom someday we
were trying to have her firstborn human
connection one of the EMTs and the
ambulance put her hand on my heart a
beautiful act of psychological first aid
nothing really can replace it and she
prayed out loud that I would somehow be
saved that I would find some grace made
it to the hospital the world started
caving in and I flatlined 20 minutes of
CPR the first time cardiopulmonary
resuscitation if you haven’t been
trained you should if you break a rib
that’s okay they’re dead hands over
hands CPR compressions over 20 minutes
the first time and then I would have
multiple cardiac arrests thereafter once
I was stabilized enough I would go into
surgical intensive care I would be at a
coma for five and a half weeks locked in
the shell machines breathing for me and
my human family that I didn’t know all
the medical staff respiratory therapists
everyone coming in taking care of me
24/7 totally vulnerable I left there
after being able to breathe on my own I
went to a rehab hospital I started to
understand that I had over 78 units of
blood within the first 48 hours my
femoral artery had been ripped my pelvis
had been snapped in half lost a lot of
blood I didn’t die because my heart
wasn’t strong my heart was strong I was
an athlete I died because I ran out of
blood that life-saving blood that we all
have that beautiful red blood
I was out over 78 units including
platelets and plasma 20 bags of plasma
and over 20 of platelets so there needs
to be five people to donate in order to
get one bag of plasma that’s the sticky
stuff that the plasma and the placement
it’s like the sticky stuff that makes
the
blood stick so for trauma patients their
heart can continue beating so that’s
like well over 150 maybe 200 people that
had to roll up their sleeve not for the
juice box are the animal crackers right
but to roll up their sleeves and say I
want to be a hero I want to help
humanity I don’t know where are my
Bloods glowing but I want to help save
going back to Archbishop Desmond Tutu we
all bleed red white Asian Hispanic black
Muslim Christian Hindu atheist gay
straight we are a human family we are
all so vastly different and so vastly
connected over the next several years I
would have 30 surgeries I have another
surgery coming up in a couple more weeks
I learned through those surgeries that I
wanted to make myself as strong as
possible and that in order for me to not
get incredibly depressed because I had
already had depression going into this
now what’s my identity I’m certainly not
a cyclist anymore I can’t be a mom my
womb was ripped apart I can’t be the
wife that I want to be I can’t even be
physical with my husband anymore
everything’s been trashed Who am I what
am I so we started signing up for races
so even though I had a wheelchair or I
had a walker
I could show up and everyone that shows
up at a race has a story I’m not gonna
place anymore I can’t place I’m barely
gonna finish but you know what if I
finish I’m gonna get a medal I need to
do something to give back so I started
earning medals to give to my heroes it’s
not about me I’m this vessel of love and
light in order for me to survive and not
give in to this incredible depression
and anger which I think I have every
right to do so I want to say thank you
because I’m afforded this gift of life
we are afforded this gift of life we
have now done over a hundred races we
have another half mirror
on this weekend the metals already I
already know who it’s going to I want to
share a story with you about this little
glass heart that’s in my pocket so as I
mentioned I was an athlete so I was a
cyclist for fun and for therapy not
really knowing it was for therapy as a
teenager just because I loved to do it
and then as I got older I realized wow
I’m actually really good at this whole
thing I think I’ll get into triathlon
and I was really good at triathlons I
really loved it I got into running
because it was kind of a necessary evil
as a triathlete but after my trauma
after I had been ripped apart and had to
learn to sort of walk again the only
thing I wanted to do was run because if
something’s taken away from you you kind
of wanted that much more right so I had
got to a point that I was finally able
to drive by myself I was very terrified
but I wanted to get out and drive my
husband was at work so I knew that he
wouldn’t stop me I got my sneakers on by
myself with my physical therapy tools my
little reach at stick and got myself
dressed drove myself to the park and I
thought I’m gonna run I couldn’t run but
I was going to do what I thought I was
potentially a run so I got out of the
car and I went maybe a couple hundred
yard well no wouldn’t if you didn’t in a
couple hundred yards maybe a hundred
yards maybe from the car my heart
started pounding and beating I was so
afraid of my heartbeat because it
triggered me back to death
I remember my heartbeat pounding so hard
and I remember the world going black I
remember being locked in a coma I don’t
want to go there again so I stood in the
field and I cried and I looked up into
the the air I looked up into the heavens
and I said God what am I supposed to do
Who am I
I can’t I can’t be an athlete I can’t
hear my heartbeat I can’t feel my
heartbeat I’m so afraid how do I live if
I can’t listen to the music of my own
heart and I learned that day that if we
ask and we’re open we can receive it
doesn’t necessarily mean like a big
is gonna drop out of the sky and say
like your answer is french fries however
if we’re open different things manifest
for me that day this little glass heart
was in a field and I picked it up and I
held it in my hand as my heart was
pounding and pounding and pounding and
pounding and I was crying thinking Who
am I what am I supposed to do with my
life
I can’t even I can’t even walk away from
my car without being afraid I’m gonna
die I don’t want to die again and I
realized my heart beating was beating
the music of hundreds of people it’s not
just my heart my heart blood it’s the
blood of this human family I’m part of
something so powerful we are part of
something so powerful
Ubuntu I am Who I am because of who we
all aren’t together Wow so I picked up
the little heart cried like probably an
ugly cry walk myself back to the car and
held on to it and I went back the next
day and the next day and I tried to make
it work we cannot control what happens
in our life we can’t we don’t know what
the next second of this life is going to
bring us none of us do two things are
certain in this life every one of us in
this room have been born congratulations
every one of us in this room at some
point will have their final breath it’s
a fact how do you choose to live your
life you have an amazing opportunity
every day how do you choose to react to
the uncontrollables think about that I
consider myself a product of Heroes
myself being one of those heroes because
I worked pretty hard to you all have the
opportunity to be a hero
yourself to your community to your
family to your world at large and to
focus on the things that you are more
alike than different whether it’s going
and donating blood whether it’s
volunteering at a shelter
whether it’s going and advocating for
cycling safety whether it is spending
that precious time that you’re not
spending being gentle to yourself and
we’re all guilty of that how are you
going to make a positive footprint and
be that gratitude in motion what a
beautiful gift we are given thank you so
much [Applause]
taught to me by a mentor in my life
named Archbishop Desmond Tutu we were
sitting at dinner one night and I was
looking at him and I was quite nervous I
had a hard time communicating with him
and having conversation
midway through dinner he looked at me
and he said why aren’t you talking and I
said I’m not really good at small talk I
don’t really know how to engage in this
conversation with you you helped to end
the apartheid you never rose a fist I’m
not really sure how to start that
conversation and he reached over and he
put his hand on my hand and he said I’m
your grandfather
although I may be black in your white we
are a part of this human family
Ubuntu means I am Who I am because of
who we all are together let me tell you
a little bit about my story I am a
cyclist first and foremost I love
cycling all through middle school and
adolescence I had a major issue with
depression and anxiety
I used cycling as a way to deal with
that depression and anxiety my dad had a
bike shop growing up and so I was the
little girl in the back of the bike shop
that was basically trying to get my
hands dirty and learn everything I could
about cycling I loved it I loved cycling
when I got older into my teenage years
when everyone else was hitting the beach
and surfing I grew up in Daytona I would
want to be on my bike and I would want
to ride for hours and hours and hours
because of that rhythmic motion that
cadence that I was able to get in that
energy the feeling of the air that kind
of just tickles your little little cheek
hairs you know what I mean the feeling
of my hair moving in the wind my
connection to the world loved cycling as
I got older it became my means of
transportation to work my husband and I
took a job move to Connecticut I was
working for an international nonprofit
and I used to travel back and forth
twelve miles each way to work
it’s a beautiful ride as you know New
England is a gorgeous place so where we
live it’s the coastline of New England
so travel to work it was a beautiful
beautiful fall day it was actually seven
years ago this week as I got halfway
home leaves are falling off the trees
the beautiful smell of the ocean salt
air pumpkins everywhere colors
everywhere there’s a certain change in
the air right that’s going on with fall
and I was embracing it I was getting
ready to go home because I had the
chicken on the counter ready it was
defrosting for dinner
I had kissed my husband goodbye he was a
postal worker he was going off to work I
kissed our lab Sedona goodbye I’ll see
you in a couple hours I never made it
home halfway home a multi-ton freight
truck came down a side road I had enough
moments to look up and think all right
and I was getting run over run sets and
then back sets of tires the thing that I
loved the thing that connected me to the
world around me had now become something
that it literally pulled me apart
literally from the sternum down past my
knees I questioned because I didn’t lose
consciousness thankfully and not
thankfully I had been an EMT years prior
so I began to triage myself I’m probably
gonna die I thought I knew I needed to
scream and yell I knew if I was
screaming and yelling I was getting
blood and oxygen to my heart into my
brain I was Vaser dilating I knew that
little bit as an EMT and I knew that as
long as I was vasodilating I had more of
a chance of survival because if I went
unconscious my chances were much more
slim my paramedics one of whom is here
in the front showed up in record time
that me backboarded taken away
I was screaming and yelling I want to
survive I want to you know I want to be
a wife I want to be a mom someday we
were trying to have her firstborn human
connection one of the EMTs and the
ambulance put her hand on my heart a
beautiful act of psychological first aid
nothing really can replace it and she
prayed out loud that I would somehow be
saved that I would find some grace made
it to the hospital the world started
caving in and I flatlined 20 minutes of
CPR the first time cardiopulmonary
resuscitation if you haven’t been
trained you should if you break a rib
that’s okay they’re dead hands over
hands CPR compressions over 20 minutes
the first time and then I would have
multiple cardiac arrests thereafter once
I was stabilized enough I would go into
surgical intensive care I would be at a
coma for five and a half weeks locked in
the shell machines breathing for me and
my human family that I didn’t know all
the medical staff respiratory therapists
everyone coming in taking care of me
24/7 totally vulnerable I left there
after being able to breathe on my own I
went to a rehab hospital I started to
understand that I had over 78 units of
blood within the first 48 hours my
femoral artery had been ripped my pelvis
had been snapped in half lost a lot of
blood I didn’t die because my heart
wasn’t strong my heart was strong I was
an athlete I died because I ran out of
blood that life-saving blood that we all
have that beautiful red blood
I was out over 78 units including
platelets and plasma 20 bags of plasma
and over 20 of platelets so there needs
to be five people to donate in order to
get one bag of plasma that’s the sticky
stuff that the plasma and the placement
it’s like the sticky stuff that makes
the
blood stick so for trauma patients their
heart can continue beating so that’s
like well over 150 maybe 200 people that
had to roll up their sleeve not for the
juice box are the animal crackers right
but to roll up their sleeves and say I
want to be a hero I want to help
humanity I don’t know where are my
Bloods glowing but I want to help save
going back to Archbishop Desmond Tutu we
all bleed red white Asian Hispanic black
Muslim Christian Hindu atheist gay
straight we are a human family we are
all so vastly different and so vastly
connected over the next several years I
would have 30 surgeries I have another
surgery coming up in a couple more weeks
I learned through those surgeries that I
wanted to make myself as strong as
possible and that in order for me to not
get incredibly depressed because I had
already had depression going into this
now what’s my identity I’m certainly not
a cyclist anymore I can’t be a mom my
womb was ripped apart I can’t be the
wife that I want to be I can’t even be
physical with my husband anymore
everything’s been trashed Who am I what
am I so we started signing up for races
so even though I had a wheelchair or I
had a walker
I could show up and everyone that shows
up at a race has a story I’m not gonna
place anymore I can’t place I’m barely
gonna finish but you know what if I
finish I’m gonna get a medal I need to
do something to give back so I started
earning medals to give to my heroes it’s
not about me I’m this vessel of love and
light in order for me to survive and not
give in to this incredible depression
and anger which I think I have every
right to do so I want to say thank you
because I’m afforded this gift of life
we are afforded this gift of life we
have now done over a hundred races we
have another half mirror
on this weekend the metals already I
already know who it’s going to I want to
share a story with you about this little
glass heart that’s in my pocket so as I
mentioned I was an athlete so I was a
cyclist for fun and for therapy not
really knowing it was for therapy as a
teenager just because I loved to do it
and then as I got older I realized wow
I’m actually really good at this whole
thing I think I’ll get into triathlon
and I was really good at triathlons I
really loved it I got into running
because it was kind of a necessary evil
as a triathlete but after my trauma
after I had been ripped apart and had to
learn to sort of walk again the only
thing I wanted to do was run because if
something’s taken away from you you kind
of wanted that much more right so I had
got to a point that I was finally able
to drive by myself I was very terrified
but I wanted to get out and drive my
husband was at work so I knew that he
wouldn’t stop me I got my sneakers on by
myself with my physical therapy tools my
little reach at stick and got myself
dressed drove myself to the park and I
thought I’m gonna run I couldn’t run but
I was going to do what I thought I was
potentially a run so I got out of the
car and I went maybe a couple hundred
yard well no wouldn’t if you didn’t in a
couple hundred yards maybe a hundred
yards maybe from the car my heart
started pounding and beating I was so
afraid of my heartbeat because it
triggered me back to death
I remember my heartbeat pounding so hard
and I remember the world going black I
remember being locked in a coma I don’t
want to go there again so I stood in the
field and I cried and I looked up into
the the air I looked up into the heavens
and I said God what am I supposed to do
Who am I
I can’t I can’t be an athlete I can’t
hear my heartbeat I can’t feel my
heartbeat I’m so afraid how do I live if
I can’t listen to the music of my own
heart and I learned that day that if we
ask and we’re open we can receive it
doesn’t necessarily mean like a big
is gonna drop out of the sky and say
like your answer is french fries however
if we’re open different things manifest
for me that day this little glass heart
was in a field and I picked it up and I
held it in my hand as my heart was
pounding and pounding and pounding and
pounding and I was crying thinking Who
am I what am I supposed to do with my
life
I can’t even I can’t even walk away from
my car without being afraid I’m gonna
die I don’t want to die again and I
realized my heart beating was beating
the music of hundreds of people it’s not
just my heart my heart blood it’s the
blood of this human family I’m part of
something so powerful we are part of
something so powerful
Ubuntu I am Who I am because of who we
all aren’t together Wow so I picked up
the little heart cried like probably an
ugly cry walk myself back to the car and
held on to it and I went back the next
day and the next day and I tried to make
it work we cannot control what happens
in our life we can’t we don’t know what
the next second of this life is going to
bring us none of us do two things are
certain in this life every one of us in
this room have been born congratulations
every one of us in this room at some
point will have their final breath it’s
a fact how do you choose to live your
life you have an amazing opportunity
every day how do you choose to react to
the uncontrollables think about that I
consider myself a product of Heroes
myself being one of those heroes because
I worked pretty hard to you all have the
opportunity to be a hero
yourself to your community to your
family to your world at large and to
focus on the things that you are more
alike than different whether it’s going
and donating blood whether it’s
volunteering at a shelter
whether it’s going and advocating for
cycling safety whether it is spending
that precious time that you’re not
spending being gentle to yourself and
we’re all guilty of that how are you
going to make a positive footprint and
be that gratitude in motion what a
beautiful gift we are given thank you so
much [Applause]
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