[Applause]
anxiety is fear that has become
conditioned in the mind sometimes our
fears are warranted the result of some
sort of external threat but other times
most times in fact our fears are
imagined
fear false evidence appearing real
when I was about five years old I had
many fears that felt very very real to
me like many of my friends I was fearful
of the monsters hiding under my bed I
used to love going to the beach and
swimming in the ocean until my parents
let me watch the movie Jaws for the
first time I was also really afraid of
ghosts and vampires and I’m a little
embarrassed to say the Easter Bunny I
know but those were normal fears for a
little girl my age looking back on that
time in my life now I realized that
there were some fears that weren’t so
normal for example when I was young I
had a fear that my family was going to
die in some tragic circumstance plane
crashes car accidents robberies
I even had a recurring dream that my
parents were drowning in a giant pool of
water and I was sitting on the sidelines
not able to do anything to help those
were some pretty intense thoughts and
emotions for a kid my age to have to
deal with overtime my anxiety began to
expand and grow and after about the age
of six I experienced my first bout real
bout of anxiety specifically separation
anxiety from my mom I used to carry this
picture around with me every day when I
went to school which made me look really
awesome to the other kids
but I didn’t care I could not be without
her I feared it what if something
terrible happened while we were apart
and I wasn’t there to help her or even
worse to say goodbye
over time these fears grew based on the
experiences that I had and the things
that I was exposed to as an adult my
separation anxiety expanded and when I
met my husband I could not be away from
him for more than a few hours without
panicking and breaking down that
something terrible had happened while we
were apart that’s the thing about fear
once the seed is planted it will grow
and consume your thoughts if you aren’t
prepared to fight against it let’s take
a minute to talk about middle school
shall we can anybody take a wild guess
as to what type of anxiety I developed
in middle school social anxiety yes one
of the leading causes of anxiety in our
society is based on this fear of not
being good enough on the outside even
today I was a bubbly confident outgoing
person but on the inside I was
constantly dissecting every conversation
I had worrying about what the other
people were thinking or saying against
about me now as I said earlier sometimes
our fears are imagined right sometimes
they are the result of some sort of
experience or thing that we’ve been
exposed to and other times anxiety comes
upon us and fear appears in the form of
a truly threatening situation when I was
in seventh grade I remember sitting in
mrs. il peas advisory class when all of
a sudden the voice of the principal came
over the loudspeaker he muttered
something that sounded kind of serious
but I had no idea what he was talking
about nobody understood
saying except for our fearless teacher
whose face turned pale and I remember
sitting there and hearing these phrases
being thrown around like terrorist
attack World Trade Center planes were
hijacked now I knew what the World Trade
Center was because I had just been there
two days before with my parents but the
other words didn’t make any sense to me
and so I sat as parents started arriving
to the school picking up my friends and
I remember thinking I wish my mom was
there with me cue my old friend
separation anxiety now as you all know
after that day everything changed those
fears became rooted in my thoughts and
my emotions my anxiety became like a
living thing in my mind and I could no
longer tell the difference between what
was a false threat appearing real and
what was truly threatening so what
happened from there I promise there is a
happy ending to this story and a lesson
to be learned but unfortunately things
tend to get worse before they can get
better like so many of the other 40
million adults in the United States who
are living with some form of an anxiety
disorder I never spoke about what I was
feeling
mainly because I didn’t understand it
and other people kept telling me that it
was normal so I thought it was okay
which ultimately made things a lot worse
but let me tell you anxiety is not just
stress normal levels of stress and even
anxiety are good the fight-or-flight
response is necessary and important for
our survival but when your stress
becomes chronic and when your fears
begin to intervene with your day-to-day
life it is worth it to reach out and say
something let me give you a little
lesson on anxiety here this is what I’ve
learned over time I promise this won’t
be too boring when the average person
perceives something as being threatening
a fear response is triggered in this
tiny area of the brain called the
amygdala so for example when my when we
heard the news on September 11th and I
noticed the rather shocked expression on
my teachers face a fear response was
triggered in my brain telling me that
something was wrong and preparing to
fight now at that point stress hormones
are released throughout the sympathetic
nervous system and another area of the
brain called the hippocampus helps the
brain to interpret whether the fear is
real imagined or temporary now for
someone like me that fear response is
often stored in the amygdala like a
memory so in other words you know that
feeling of relief that you get when the
perceived threat starts to disappear and
life goes back to normal
that relief doesn’t come so easily for
me so over time my body continued to
fight and my fears continued to build
and eventually everything came to a
point in March of 2017 I experienced the
worst panic attack I had ever
experienced up to that point I was a
teacher at the time and I was escorted
home from work that day by the principal
who lovingly drove me 45 minutes back to
my house to make sure I was okay now I
left there feeling completely broken and
ashamed from that point I entered into a
state of depression that lasted about
seven days and in that time I retreated
into my mind and my mind took me to dark
places that I did not
No were there and that nobody else
understood by the way after a week of
questioning everything my life my
abilities my mind and my sanity I
finally broke free and here’s how I did
it I started working with my fear
instead of against it so think of it
this way anxiety is like a giant pimple
on your face what happens when you try
to pick at an unwanted blemish it gets
red tends to get bigger gets irritated
right so like a pimple anxiety is
painful it’s frustrating and it can
attract some unwanted attention but if
you pick at it in an emotional frenzy
and a desperate attempt to make it go
away what are you left with a scar so
you have to learn how to work with your
fears be patient
let’s take another look at our fear feel
your feelings examine your thoughts
anticipate your triggers release and
forgive this simple acronym is what led
to my healing feel your feelings but do
not become them stop blaming yourself
for feeling anxious or sad or angry it’s
so easy when those unwanted emotions
come up for us to look in the mirror and
say just stop it already you’re being
crazy let it go but when you’re feeling
badly about something yelling at
yourself we’re trying to ignore the
emotion altogether is only going to
amplify the issue examine your thoughts
think about it we talked to ourselves
more than we talked to anyone else in
life thoughts become things so keep them
anticipate your triggers when the fear
begins to rise up document it and ask
yourself the very important question of
why why am I so afraid right now why am
I feeling this way we asked other people
questions like this every day and yet
for some reason we deny ourselves the
same opportunity to discover what’s
wrong so take a moment breathe think and
finally release and forgive release the
negative emotion and most importantly
forgive yourself for not being perfect
in that moment now looking at all of you
I know some of you are thinking Amanda
that’s great but it sounds a lot easier
said than done and you are correct
healing takes time and it takes patience
and love and support and not just from
those around you but from yourself so
I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to
be afraid it’s okay to fail and to fall
down it’s okay to question who you are
and where you are you’re not supposed to
have all the answers but remember you
are not your fear you are not your
anxiety and you control more about your
life and your emotions than you ever thought possible thank you
anxiety is fear that has become
conditioned in the mind sometimes our
fears are warranted the result of some
sort of external threat but other times
most times in fact our fears are
imagined
fear false evidence appearing real
when I was about five years old I had
many fears that felt very very real to
me like many of my friends I was fearful
of the monsters hiding under my bed I
used to love going to the beach and
swimming in the ocean until my parents
let me watch the movie Jaws for the
first time I was also really afraid of
ghosts and vampires and I’m a little
embarrassed to say the Easter Bunny I
know but those were normal fears for a
little girl my age looking back on that
time in my life now I realized that
there were some fears that weren’t so
normal for example when I was young I
had a fear that my family was going to
die in some tragic circumstance plane
crashes car accidents robberies
I even had a recurring dream that my
parents were drowning in a giant pool of
water and I was sitting on the sidelines
not able to do anything to help those
were some pretty intense thoughts and
emotions for a kid my age to have to
deal with overtime my anxiety began to
expand and grow and after about the age
of six I experienced my first bout real
bout of anxiety specifically separation
anxiety from my mom I used to carry this
picture around with me every day when I
went to school which made me look really
awesome to the other kids
but I didn’t care I could not be without
her I feared it what if something
terrible happened while we were apart
and I wasn’t there to help her or even
worse to say goodbye
over time these fears grew based on the
experiences that I had and the things
that I was exposed to as an adult my
separation anxiety expanded and when I
met my husband I could not be away from
him for more than a few hours without
panicking and breaking down that
something terrible had happened while we
were apart that’s the thing about fear
once the seed is planted it will grow
and consume your thoughts if you aren’t
prepared to fight against it let’s take
a minute to talk about middle school
shall we can anybody take a wild guess
as to what type of anxiety I developed
in middle school social anxiety yes one
of the leading causes of anxiety in our
society is based on this fear of not
being good enough on the outside even
today I was a bubbly confident outgoing
person but on the inside I was
constantly dissecting every conversation
I had worrying about what the other
people were thinking or saying against
about me now as I said earlier sometimes
our fears are imagined right sometimes
they are the result of some sort of
experience or thing that we’ve been
exposed to and other times anxiety comes
upon us and fear appears in the form of
a truly threatening situation when I was
in seventh grade I remember sitting in
mrs. il peas advisory class when all of
a sudden the voice of the principal came
over the loudspeaker he muttered
something that sounded kind of serious
but I had no idea what he was talking
about nobody understood
saying except for our fearless teacher
whose face turned pale and I remember
sitting there and hearing these phrases
being thrown around like terrorist
attack World Trade Center planes were
hijacked now I knew what the World Trade
Center was because I had just been there
two days before with my parents but the
other words didn’t make any sense to me
and so I sat as parents started arriving
to the school picking up my friends and
I remember thinking I wish my mom was
there with me cue my old friend
separation anxiety now as you all know
after that day everything changed those
fears became rooted in my thoughts and
my emotions my anxiety became like a
living thing in my mind and I could no
longer tell the difference between what
was a false threat appearing real and
what was truly threatening so what
happened from there I promise there is a
happy ending to this story and a lesson
to be learned but unfortunately things
tend to get worse before they can get
better like so many of the other 40
million adults in the United States who
are living with some form of an anxiety
disorder I never spoke about what I was
feeling
mainly because I didn’t understand it
and other people kept telling me that it
was normal so I thought it was okay
which ultimately made things a lot worse
but let me tell you anxiety is not just
stress normal levels of stress and even
anxiety are good the fight-or-flight
response is necessary and important for
our survival but when your stress
becomes chronic and when your fears
begin to intervene with your day-to-day
life it is worth it to reach out and say
something let me give you a little
lesson on anxiety here this is what I’ve
learned over time I promise this won’t
be too boring when the average person
perceives something as being threatening
a fear response is triggered in this
tiny area of the brain called the
amygdala so for example when my when we
heard the news on September 11th and I
noticed the rather shocked expression on
my teachers face a fear response was
triggered in my brain telling me that
something was wrong and preparing to
fight now at that point stress hormones
are released throughout the sympathetic
nervous system and another area of the
brain called the hippocampus helps the
brain to interpret whether the fear is
real imagined or temporary now for
someone like me that fear response is
often stored in the amygdala like a
memory so in other words you know that
feeling of relief that you get when the
perceived threat starts to disappear and
life goes back to normal
that relief doesn’t come so easily for
me so over time my body continued to
fight and my fears continued to build
and eventually everything came to a
point in March of 2017 I experienced the
worst panic attack I had ever
experienced up to that point I was a
teacher at the time and I was escorted
home from work that day by the principal
who lovingly drove me 45 minutes back to
my house to make sure I was okay now I
left there feeling completely broken and
ashamed from that point I entered into a
state of depression that lasted about
seven days and in that time I retreated
into my mind and my mind took me to dark
places that I did not
No were there and that nobody else
understood by the way after a week of
questioning everything my life my
abilities my mind and my sanity I
finally broke free and here’s how I did
it I started working with my fear
instead of against it so think of it
this way anxiety is like a giant pimple
on your face what happens when you try
to pick at an unwanted blemish it gets
red tends to get bigger gets irritated
right so like a pimple anxiety is
painful it’s frustrating and it can
attract some unwanted attention but if
you pick at it in an emotional frenzy
and a desperate attempt to make it go
away what are you left with a scar so
you have to learn how to work with your
fears be patient
let’s take another look at our fear feel
your feelings examine your thoughts
anticipate your triggers release and
forgive this simple acronym is what led
to my healing feel your feelings but do
not become them stop blaming yourself
for feeling anxious or sad or angry it’s
so easy when those unwanted emotions
come up for us to look in the mirror and
say just stop it already you’re being
crazy let it go but when you’re feeling
badly about something yelling at
yourself we’re trying to ignore the
emotion altogether is only going to
amplify the issue examine your thoughts
think about it we talked to ourselves
more than we talked to anyone else in
life thoughts become things so keep them
anticipate your triggers when the fear
begins to rise up document it and ask
yourself the very important question of
why why am I so afraid right now why am
I feeling this way we asked other people
questions like this every day and yet
for some reason we deny ourselves the
same opportunity to discover what’s
wrong so take a moment breathe think and
finally release and forgive release the
negative emotion and most importantly
forgive yourself for not being perfect
in that moment now looking at all of you
I know some of you are thinking Amanda
that’s great but it sounds a lot easier
said than done and you are correct
healing takes time and it takes patience
and love and support and not just from
those around you but from yourself so
I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to
be afraid it’s okay to fail and to fall
down it’s okay to question who you are
and where you are you’re not supposed to
have all the answers but remember you
are not your fear you are not your
anxiety and you control more about your
life and your emotions than you ever thought possible thank you
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