old woman that start running 20
kilometers every day and not just that
she even did heart exercises like curl
ups push ups
she also adopted a calorie restricting
diet eating only fresh fruit and
vegetables to lose weight isn’t it
strange what inspired her to do so was
she trying to look good again was she
trying to reclaim her youth was she
preparing for a special event or someone
well mrs. Wang was told by her doctor
that her son ding Wei was at the end
stage of urania is a fatal kidney
disease and that a transplant was needed
now for the operation to be successful
the donor needs to be somewhat similar
weight as the patient knowing that her
son’s time was running out this is why
I’ll put on running shoes I started
running 20 kilometers every day for half
a year
and she was able to lose 44 pounds and
made the donation save her son’s life in
an interview mrs. waak said she never
feared death never feared disease never
thought of losing her weight seriously
and no man in this world could make her
give in except for her son there was
nothing more frightful than losing my
beloved son this is true altruism and is
what I call unconditional love
what is unconditional love
well many research have shown that an
infant
lacking unconditional love runs the risk
psychological and cognitive dysfunctions
or even dyes us humans we need
unconditional love for our own physical
and emotional health as well as
spiritual well-being now unconditional
love literally translates into the kind
of love that demands no conditions right
it is basically loving a person without
questioning whether you feel any other
way towards that person it sounds easy
right yeah what if I tell you it is far
easier and more natural to love
conditionally and to bring disaster into
relationships any kinds of relationships
for example a man and a woman fall in
because the man sees in the woman as
someone that can provide him with
physical and emotional needs now the
woman season the man as someone that can
provide her with protection financial
stability or some secret sauce but you
see each person is looking after his or
her own needs conditional love begins
when we see the other person our partner
as a source for our own gratifications
and this is completely natural to us
whether we admit it or not because we
were born that way ever since we were
young we received warmth protection and
tender loving kindness from our parents
or our caretakers now we carry that same
mentality of sugar spice and everything
nice far into our adulthood we’ve also
been taught by life to be sensible
defensive and
vigilant y’all always scanning for
dangerous threats security and keeping
things in control now unfortunately
thanks to all that we’re still children
when it comes love we tend to demand too
much from up from our partner without us
actually giving we tend to be selfish to
a partner we see our partner with
disenchantment and let down because he
or she just doesn’t seem to understand
our emotions and our feelings properly
we become hurt when our needs are not
met
we’re upset just because our partner
just doesn’t seem to fit that that that
picture that picture of the lover that
we’ve been imagining so then it becomes
our natural instinct to just be unkind
to our partner it’s much easier for us
to just curl up into this ball of
insecurity and neediness we then we then
overthink we fight we bite we argue and
then we act without even asking why did
we begin this entire relationship why
well the truth is we’re all hurt not
because our partner because we simply
have to grow up now before I go deeper
into unconditional love let’s rethink
about love what is love even google
knows knows what love is love is an
intense affection for another human
being love is also a nature’s secret
method of tricking us humans into
love is the act of giving and caring for
the other person knowing that his or her
well-being and Happiness is off your
priority love is the ability to hand
over to someone a gun a fully loaded gun
aimed straight at your heart and
unconditional love has all these
characteristics but without conditions
now parental love think about my point
earlier is a good example of
unconditional love when we were little
our parents looked after us in every way
they made us feel safe they nurtured us
and even indulged us and you know what
the good thing was we didn’t have to
reciprocate we they didn’t need us to
ask about their day they didn’t need us
to look after them they didn’t need us
to know all of their problems and how to
solve them our responsibility was
painfully simple we just have to exist
and then every little things we did from
crawling on the ground or grabbing a
teddy bear in without tiny little hands
just fill our parents heart with
happiness they did us quite the honor of
not showing us what kind of pain labor
and burden that looking after us had
imposed on them they maintained a calm
and cheerful facade while keeping that
that argument up in the bedroom a secret
to all of us we were loved and we didn’t
have to love it was in love it wasn’t a
long time ago that I realized what kind
of troubles my single mother had to go
through she struggled with debts so
struggling now struggle with immense
stress from work struggling with her own
physical illnesses and then the pain of
loneliness to which she still carefully
concealed today yet she sacrificed
everything for my well-being
so I can be here today and so I can have
a better future my mother loves me
unconditionally this is not a job this
is not an obligation it’s a choice so
now that we kind of get the idea of
unconditional love how can we apply that
to our partner our spouse well number
one you have to be willing to put the
health of the relationship above
everything else you should also you must
now when it comes to love Alexander the
Great once asked Socrates hey what’s the
Socrates answer was hey if you like the
flower you just pluck it if you love a
flower you water it every day the same
thing goes for unconditional love you
never withhold love just to get what you
want or what you need you will want the
best for the person you will respect the
person for who he or she really is you
will teach as well as learn from the
person you will give the person without
expecting anything in return and you
will trust a person enough to let him or
her just venture into the outside world
and believing that they’ll come back to
you they’ll come back to you now please
remember that you will not always be
happy all the time
or having your expectations met because
nobody is perfect the sooner you realize
is the better when you first start
showing unconditional love okay you
probably expect your partner to
be somewhat grateful or at least happy
to receive it right that’s not always
the case see some people have been
treated with hostility they’ve been used
to being treated with hostility or just
never experienced this kind of love
before therefore they don’t know how to
respond to it that’s okay
you also don’t want to try to change the
person don’t change the person but
instead learn to just respect and love
embrace those differences learn to
compromise not because you’re a weak but
because you’re strong enough to just
make a change for the better to just
love the person to build a strong
relationship and to make it work have an
open communication with your partner but
also learn to calmly express any hurts
and concerns just because you care about
your partner’s feelings and your kind
forgive and forget
any mistakes and flaws but learn from
them let go of any small and trifle
things that may bother annoy you and
instead focus on the good qualities that
your partner has and always appreciate
love okay love is never to be taken for
granted
we take love for granted without knowing
it you know the next morning you wake up
and you still have your partner there
you guys are still alive still in love
should be happy and grateful for it you
should feel lucky about it
so how do we appreciate love small acts
of kindness or just loving words like
thank you how can I make your day better
honey and then this is important be
vulnerable because transparency
authenticity and humility helps build a
meaningful connection between the two of
we don’t rise until
we fall in love take that fall surrender
give yourself up oh but that’s quite mad
shut up your partner never loved you at
first now he or she might have a really
strong affections for you strong
feelings for you your partner loves you
because every day before you roll out of
bed or check your phone check your email
you always turn on him or her and just
say good morning sweetheart did you
sleep well your partner loves you
because every time you walk down that
coffee shop down the road you always
grab her a medium latte not because she
asked for it because you care the
partner loves you because every time he
or she is having a bad day you just you
just offered to sit there just sit there
and and listen and just because you know
that sadness and pain is part of life
and it is important that you help your
partner feel it through see
unconditional love requires kindness
generosity and patience what are
ourselves shouldn’t our well-being being
as equally important – yes
when you’re on an airplane right and
then the air pressure plummets the
oxygen mask drop what do you do you have
to put the mask on yourself before you
help others the same thing goes with
unconditional love you have to love
yourself unconditionally first before
you give that love to another person now
what do I mean by that I mean that we
should take the necessary step to grow
we should take care of our own physical
and emotional health we should make an
effort to improve our self-awareness and
self-esteem
we should also learn to forgive others
and ourselves we should be kind
ourselves but also half a certain degree
of kindness to just everyone not because
they are necessarily kind to us but
because we are if you if we want
something so badly out there in life
then encourage yourself to just go get
it but have responsibility and don’t pay
too much attention about what any other
people say about us because in the end
it is actually just our own opinions on
you should love anyone believing that
him or her will fill in the gap or will
make you complete right uncle true
unconditional love starts from you to
now before we walk out of this room
tonight I want us to understand that
true love or unconditional love it’s not
about what you get it’s about what you
before I closed my speech I’d like to
acknowledge my girlfriend Jim she’s
actually not here and now she’s 9,000
miles away she’s been an inspiration for
me to write this beautiful speech as
well as become a better person that I am
today
be willing to love unconditionally thank
you for your time [Applause]