it is the best part of my day
now I know what y’all are thinking how
bad is this guy’s life if 45 minutes in
the car every day is the best part of
his day but I assure you it has nothing
to do with the fact that I treat my car
is an island between the worries of work
and the horrors of home it has nothing
to do with that those 45 minutes it’s
the best part of my day because in the
back seat of the car sits a six-year-old
girl who looks out the window and sees
the world in ways that I don’t I looked
out the windshield and I see a line of
slow-moving traffic she looks out the
window she trees she sees a tree speed
by I see the clock I think about
deadlines she sees the Sun thinks about
going fishing
I hear the squeal the tires I gripped
that steering wheel she hears the music
on the radio she dances in her heart she
doesn’t say a whole lot before I drop
off at school every morning but what she
does say it’s not throwaway material she
shares her perspectives her observations
her hopes for the day and I’m reminded
that frequently the world is what we
choose to focus on whether it’s a line
of seemingly unending brake lights
whether it’s a lie the vibrantly colored
trees because I value her perspective
recently I let her know I’d have the
opportunity to be here with you all
today and I asked her what she thought I
should share with you all now as a
lawyer I experienced more than my fair
share of the Socratic method in law
school right we all know what this is
this is where a curmudgeonly professor
stands at the head of the class leans
over the lectern points at the students
and has them recite the lessons that
they should be learning and I’ll admit
that is possible possible that the
Socratic method has crept into my
parenting style right
and so my six-year-old daughter she did
what I would have done in that situation
when I asked her what message she
thought I should share she responded by
saying daddy that is a great question
what do you think you should talk about
it’s a proud papa moment for me but I
let her know I thought I should talk
about the research I’m involved in about
mentoring and how it impacts with
significance the positivity not only in
our careers but also on our mental
health her response
daddy doesn’t sound very interesting
alright so I pitched again what if I
talked about the importance of
leadership education for university
students because the opportunities are
around us every day to influence the
world our colleagues our co-workers or
communities in positive ways daddy
that’s better but it still kind of
boring now at this point she could sense
that I was struggling right so she threw
out an idea of her own daddy why don’t
you tell them how to make the world a
better place out of the mouths of babes
right now she had a very specific idea
of the message I should share with you
all about how to make the world a better
place not littering but I’m not sure I’m
the guy to talk with you all about
environmental sustainability but her
words did resonate with me daddy what if
you told them how to make the world a
better place that’s a tall order and I
can’t promise to tell you how to make
the world a better place
but how about this how about I share
with you one story story that has a
profound impact on my life in making my
life a better place in the lives of some
of those around me the very least I can
tell my six-year-old daughter that I
tried right some time ago I had the
opportunity to take a journey a large
plane it was one of those that had three
seats on the aisle five seats in the
middle and another three seats on the
aisle and I remember two things when I
got on board that plane I looked to the
left and I looked to the right and the
seats seemed to stretch on as far as the
eye could see and those seats they were
green so help me they were green because
I made my way to the back of the plane
because of course I was sitting in the
back of the plane as I got to my
assigned row which I think was like 986
double Z I had a moment of realization I
was not sitting in the middle seat I was
gonna sit next to the window and you all
know this feeling right it’s like
winning the plane ticket lottery so
immediately I sat down and appropriately
and properly packed my carry-on bag
underneath the seat in front of me and I
immediately brought down the armrest
right you need to claim my territory
because that’s what we do
we put the barrier up between us and the
passenger sitting next to us now I was
one of the first on the plane and so I
had the opportunity to watch all my
fellow passengers come on board the
plane and they slowly walked on like
condemned prisoners and I glanced out
the window and happened to notice that
there were dark and menacing clouds that
were approaching the airport and I knew
immediately what that meant and sure
enough in a few moments the captain came
on the intercom and announced that we
would be delayed for at least an hour to
an hour and a half and an audible groan
emanated from all the passengers now
sensing that he was on the verge of
mutiny the captain made a prudent
decision he turned on the in-flight
entertainment system to at least allow
us the opportunity to watch an in-flight
movie to pass the time now I don’t know
if it was because I wasn’t interested in
the movie but I decided to take
unprecedented action I decided to try
and engage the person next to me in
conversation because yes I am that guy
now while I had won the plane ticket
lottery and got to sit next to the
window the passenger next to me she had
in fact lost the plane ticket lottery
because not only was she in the middle
seat but she had to sit next to me
anyway the conversation began with my
asking her where she was headed
Washington DC she replied which of
course was not unexpected because that
was in fact where the plane was headed
but when I asked her where her journey
began she gave the unexpected response
the South Pole now at this point I
couldn’t tell if she was tired of
talking with me I mean who could blame
her right or if she was testing to see
if I was listening so I repeated a
response in a quizzical fashion the
South Pole she then explained that she
was a research scientist she worked for
the National Science Foundation and she
had just spent the last eight months
living at the Edmonds of Scott South
Pole Research Station now to me this was
fascinating much better than any
inflight movie so I began to pepper her
with questions really deep really
thoughtful questions questions like
did you see any penguins turns out there
are no penguins at the exact location
the South Pole how many people live
there well in this summer looks like yes
even the South Pole has a summer who
knew right
150 and in the winter about 50 i guess
that the summer and maybe his tourist
season his house without pole who knows
I asked her what she did in her free
time she explained they didn’t have a
lot because their leanly staffed but
when they do have free time they spend
their time and sing-alongs and playing
board games and in that moment I knew
that the South Pole Station did not have
access to Wi-Fi because who else is
going to engage in sing-alongs right
then I asked her the all-important
question is there really a pole at the
South Pole it turns out there is in fact
there are several you see the South Pole
sits on a constantly moving sheet of ice
and every year the exact location of the
South Pole drifts approximately 10
meters and she explained how it’s the
responsibility of the residents of the
South Pole Station to each year first to
identify the location of the
southernmost point on the globe and
second to design and create the new pole
marker that will locate the direction of
true South every year on New Year’s Day
the residents of the South Pole Station
celebrate New Year’s by placing the
South Pole marker the new pole marker at
the direction of the southernmost point
in the globe this conversation had a
profound impact on me
for starters taught me to talk to people
on planes who knows who you’re sitting
next to hopefully someone more
interesting than I but you’ll never know
if you don’t ask but more importantly it
taught me about three things Direction
authenticity and reflection
with respect to direction my travel
companion explained how the first thing
the residents of the South Pole Station
do is to first identify the location of
true South because every year that ice
sheet moves that reminded me of the
importance of each of us as individuals
to step back and really think about our
location in life and more importantly
our direction each year the residents of
the South Pole Station have the same
goal to make sure that they know where
the South Pole is located and then it’s
properly marked why because each year
moves like wise in our own lives there
are many moving pieces and sometimes
just like the South Pole it feels as if
the very ground is shifting beneath our
feet as individuals it’s critical we
take the time to determine our location
whether it’s more we want to be located
as individuals it’s critical we take the
time to determine whether our direction
is where we need to be pointed as
leaders it’s imperative that we take
time to determine the location of our
organization’s of our teams and
determine whether our organizations and
our teams are headed in the appropriate
direction as we experience these
tectonic shifts in our lives in our
markets in our organizations and in our
world we need to adapt to make sure that
we are true to our direction this is not
only important to us as individuals but
also for all those who look to us for
leadership and guidance just like the
rest of the world looks to the residents
of the South Pole Station to make sure
the location of the South Pole is
appropriately marked so too do others
look to us for leadership and guidance
if the ground is shifted and we’ve not
adapted to maintain our true direction
not only will we be off course that’s so
all those who look to us for leadership
and guidance on the other side of the
coin imagine the power that comes from
having confidence in being sure of your
location imagine the power that comes
from the confidence that you’re headed
in the right direction with respect to
authenticity my travel companion
explained how each and every year the
residents of the South Pole station
designed the new South Pole marker not
only do they design it but they
manufactured in their machine shop she
explained how part of that manufacturing
process is making sure that the name
each resident of the South Pole Station
for the prior year is inscribed
somewhere on that pole did you get that
their names are literally written on
their direction marker they make it
their own they own it every day we are
bombarded with messages from society
from social media from hopefully
well-meaning friends and family and
often these messages will contain at
least implicitly if not explicitly
suggestions on how we should live our
lives on what we should pursue what our
value should be on what it means to be
successful but if we’re pursuing someone
else’s values if we’re pursuing someone
else’s definition of success then at the
risk of being redundant we’re pursuing
someone else’s values we’re pursuing
someone else’s definition of success we
need to take a page out of the book of
our friends the South Pole we need to
put our name on a direction marker we
need to make it our own one potential
way for doing this is to think about our
ideal selves what does our ideal self
look like in 1/3 or even 20 years what
do they think what do they say what do
they do how would you describe that
person how would others describe that
person think about your organization
what does your ideal team or
organization look like in 1 2 or even 3
years we need to own that vision we need
to be authentic to our true direction
otherwise we’re pursuing someone else’s
poll marker and even if we reach it will
we really care own your poll marker make
it yours with respect to reflection my
travel companion explained how the
residents of the South Pole Station
engaged in this process every year of
identifying the location of true South
and placing the poll marker each and
every year why because they know that
the ice sheet is moving they recognize
like it’s been said but the one constant
is change
yes it’s important for us to engage in
this reflective process but it’s not
something we do once and call it good
the residents of the South Pole station
they engage in this reflective process
annually each and every year
perhaps for us annually is too
frequently
perhaps for us annually is too
infrequent it’s probable that the
frequency with which we need to engage
in this process will be determined by
the dramatic nature of the moves and the
speed at which the ground is moving but
we need to engage in that reflective
process periodically because the ground
is moving and if we don’t think that it
is we’re just not paying attention and
so that’s it one story one story that’s
had a profound impact on my life
why profound because a few moments ago I
shared with you about how the best part
of my day or those 45 minutes in the car
with my daughter but I wouldn’t have
those 45 minutes if I had not engaged in
the process of finding my true direction
of making my own and periodically
evaluating to make sure that I’m
pursuing my true direction when my wife
and I adopted our six-year-old daughter
the ground shifted for me as I engaged
in that reflective process I realized
that I was not pursuing my true values I
needed to make changes both personally
and professionally and so I did and in
many ways he was painful although I was
practicing law at the time with a large
and prestigious law firm and although I
was practicing with attorneys that I
respected and looked to his mentors and
although I was engaged in cases that
were fascinating and challenging
I was not pursuing my version of my
ideal self you see I would describe my
version of my ideal self as someone
whose working in the public sector
someone who’s involved in his community
someone who’s working with individuals
on a daily basis to try and help them
improve their lives and so I looked for
opportunities to bring my true values to
life through my profession and in many
ways I started over professionally when
I moved from the private sector to the
public sector and I discovered many
things
one of those things is that for me at
least not all remuneration is financial
which is important because you ready be
letting on a little secret working in
the public sector is not as lucrative as
working in the private sector but it
affords me the opportunity to pursue my
true values and importantly for today’s
conversation it provides me with those
45 minutes with my daughter in the car
because you see it’s not I that drive
her does she that drives me
she is my South Pole more specifically
helping her and other young people like
her become their best selves is my pole
marker and so I adapt to make sure that
I’m pursuing my true direction and that
it’s truly mine and so my friends I have
two invitations for us today first
please put down your phones talk to
people on planes you never know if
you’re sitting next to and second find
your South Pole make it yours I hope
that at least one person is sort of
message about making the world a better
place today it’ll make my six-year-old
daughter very happy thank you [Applause]