in the short amount of time that I’ve
been up here you’ve probably noticed
some things about me you might have
noticed my height or the shape of my
face or the sound of my voice and you
might have taken all of this information
and plunked it into your little brain
calculator and you might have come to
the conclusion that I’m a woman you
would be wrong but it doesn’t where it’s
not your fault we are taught from birth
that there are only two genders a person
gets pregnant and the questions begin is
it a boy or is it a girl sometimes oh
right I need the clicker you gave me
that for a reason sometimes they do
gender reveals right they they kind of
put a cake or they rip open an envelope
or if your hometown is anything like
mine they shoot boxes of explosives from
the back of their track but even if you
don’t do a gender reveal eventually that
baby comes out and the doctor holds it
up and says congratulations that the boy
your congratulations that the girl and
that one phrase dictates what that tiny
human being is for the rest of their
life we find out what that person is
long before we find out who that person
is see we live in a society that is
obsessed with the gender binary and when
I say the gender binary I’m talking
about the idea that there are two
genders binary one two or one and zero
if you’re you know computery just men
and just women men women . those are
your only two options we see this
message absolutely everywhere in our
society in Western culture we see it in
books like men are from Mars Women are
from Venus we see it in the rom-coms
that raised me in the early 2000s we see
it in the idea that men and women are
somehow fundamentally different we even
see it in the way that we gender our
bathrooms so what does it mean to be
non-binary in this society it means that
my gender is something outside of that
gender binary outside of those two
options I’m not a man and I’m not a
woman and there are all sorts of
non-binary genders and they all use
various different terms and all of those
terms are valid but I just like the term
non-binary it’s very name is a
rushon I I get to be a disruption just
by existing lucky me
and so in this gendered society being
non-binary sometimes means that you know
you go against the binary you go against
the flow and sometimes people think that
means that you go against what’s normal
or what’s right because like a lot of
things that are everywhere in our
society we think that things are common
or we think that things are normal just
because they’re common and so because
it’s common to fall into a binary gender
we think that that means that it’s
normal because it’s uncommon to fall
into a non-binary gender we think that
that means it’s abnormal in some way but
a whole ton of things are normal that
are not super common blue eyes are
normal but uncommon red hair is normal
but uncommon being left-handed is normal
but uncommon statistically speaking
being in what is currently known as
Canada is super globally speaking super
uncommon right just statistically you’re
not gonna be Canadian but you don’t see
people going like oh you’re like
Canadian I’m sorry are you sure you’re
not just like an American in a toque I
just I my apologies but I just really
disagree with that whole Canadian
lifestyle but and if you think I’m
exaggerating about what people say about
non-binary people unfortunately I’m not
see that’s the thing about disrupting
people’s world just by existing people
super do not like it when their world is
disrupted so instead of saying hey lis
you know what I’ve thought about it and
I’ve realized that maybe gender is
socially constructed maybe I’ve just
been taught from birth that there are
binary genders maybe I should question
that in myself instead of doing any of
that they get out the greatest weapon
known to mankind humankind I should say
so they get off this grade 12 biology
textbook and they say hey hey Lee have
you ever thought about how there are
only men and there are women there are
just men and women those are your only
two options because the only genitalia
that exists are penises and vaginas have
you thought about that as a side note I
googled can I say the word penis in a
TED talk as it turns out I can but I do
but I do sincerely want to address this
idea that you know in grade 12 bio I
learned that there are X chromosomes and
Y chromosomes and depending on your mix
you either get an inny or an outy and
those are your only two options in here
and OD yeah because as it turns out even
biological sex is not binary there are
all sorts of chromosome combinations
there are all sorts of ambiguous and
unambiguous genitalia there are all
sorts of hormone varieties there are
people who are born intersex which is
when their genitalia does not clearly
fit the the binary the penis vagina
binary that I just mentioned and there
are intersex people who are gonna be way
better at speaking at this than I am but
I just think it’s really important that
we know that that whole binary idea
whether it’s a gender or whether it’s
sex doesn’t always work it just doesn’t
reflect reality life is always way more
complicated than just two options also
unless you’ve had genetic testing you
probably don’t know what your chromosome
levels are where your chromosomes are or
your homework hormone levels also I
don’t know how to say this other than it
is super super weird to categorize
people by their genitalia like I know
we’ve just kind of decided as a society
that that’s a thing that we do but it’s
super super weird I’m not a woman
because I have a vagina any more than
I’m a woman because I have elbows or
eyebrows or feet but that’s what we do
in our binary gendered Society we look
at a sonogram and we look at what’s
between its legs and we go oh yes this
will dictate whether this human being
likes blue or pink this will dictate
whether this human being likes trucks
are tutus this will dictate whether this
human being is gonna make $1 or 78 cents
[Laughter]
[Applause]
I’m so glad you like that joke and so
this is probably the part of the
presentation we were going likely I get
it gender is socially constructed okay
you’ve liked hard on that point like I
get it but the problem or the solution
is just to eliminate gender roles let
boys play with dolls unlike girls play
with trucks and let’s just see people as
people and like maybe big picture maybe
that’s eventually where we kind of want
to be but that’s also ignoring this
gigantic socio-political context of
gender like is gender socially
constructed absolutely money is also
socially constructed but that does not
mean that it is not real because
apparently I still need to pay my rent
there are all sorts of aspects to being
non-binary that I could talk about I
could talk about how I could talk about
how there are all sorts of non-binary
genders and how they all used they all
might use different terms and how all of
those are valid I could talk about how
non-binary genders have existed
throughout tons of cultures and
throughout the past and in the present
and we will continue to exist in the
future I could talk about how the gender
binary it was actually a tool of
colonialism it was used to force
colonized populations into rigid
European gender roles I could talk about
how important gender neutral washrooms
are and I could talk about how
frustrating it is that our entire
identity is get reduced to where we pee
I could talk about all the things that
gender is not I could talk about how we
are not our bodies we are not our
clothing we are not our hair or makeup
or what society expects of us I could
talk about all of these things but we
don’t have all day you’ve all been very
patient with me so far so I’m gonna talk
about exactly one word and that word is
they so talking about the word they I’m
talking about they as a pronoun
specifically they as a singular
gender-neutral pronoun so not they as in
well that crowd at TEDx U and B all of
those individuals they look so good not
like that
we’re talking about wow that individual
on stage at TEDx knew and be vey sure
look good thank you I appreciate that
we use the singular they all the time
it’s already very much a part of how we
speak we say you know someone told me a
joke the other day what is their Twitter
handle all jokes happen on Twitter for
me apparently someone left you a package
every day where did they leave it we use
the singular way all the time
even when we are arguing against using
the singular they
I don’t recognize another person’s right
to determine what pronouns I use to
address them this is super awkward but
the singular gender-neutral day is
already very much a part of our lexicon
it’s already very much a part of what we
say and so when you don’t use the
singular they for someone who has asked
you to use the singular they it’s like
dehumanizing absolutely it’s kind of
saying like I know your life better than
you know your life but it’s also just
rude really it’s like if you met a new
person and you were like hi nice to meet
you and they said hi my name is Steven
and he said hey Stevie what’s up and
they were like oh like no worries but I
actually prefer that I actually prefer
Steven and you go okay well like steven
is just a lot for me to like get my
mouth around and it’s just really
inconvenient for me and it makes me kind
of uncomfortable and so I’m just gonna
go ahead and call you Stevie you’re
you’re cool with that right another
argument that I hear about the singular
they is that it’s grammatically
incorrect I have a English degree from
the University of New Brunswick woo and
so I’m actually super willing to argue
with you about this I’m desperate to put
so a couple of grammatical arguments one
is that we have been using the singular
they for a lot longer than we kind of
arbitrarily decided that we should stop
using it
the other thing is that language shifts
and changes and grows language is
designed to be descriptive not
prescriptive that means things exist in
the world and we find language to
describe them not we are limiting what
exists in the world based on what
language we have the other thing is is
that whether or not something is
grammatically correct
is never going to be as important as
whether a phrase recognizes the dignity
of another human being like I’m sorry
I’m sure there was another point I was
gonna make and now I forget what it is
so we’re here to talk about disruption
so I want to talk about disrupting the
language that we use
oh I remembered what I was gonna say so
a little story about grammar I know you
were all super excited about grammar so
a little story about grammar I one time
went to lunch with this um with this
professor an older woman who spent a
good amount of time talking about how
when she was younger she used ms instead
of Miss or mrs. back before it was kind
of a popular thing to do and she said
you know what it’s no one’s business
whether or not I’m married and in my
mind I thought yes language is political
the way that we describe ourselves makes
a political difference absolutely and I
thought it really made sense about how
these binaries continue to do a
disservice to so many people and then
she spent the next half of the lunch
talking about how she doesn’t accept
singular they on any of the assignments
that her students pass in so you might
yeah Twitter loved that joke so we’re
here to talk about disruption so I want
to talk about disrupting the language
that we use I want to talk about using
language as a tool to disrupt oppressive
systems in our society because using
different language might seem like a
really simple thing but language is a
political language is important and
language is powerful if it wasn’t
political important and powerful people
would not get so mad when you ask them
to use different words so language is
one tool that we have at our disposal to
start disrupting these systems so when
you use the singular they when you use
they pronouns for someone who asks you
to use they pronouns for them you’re
recognizing that person’s humanity you
are not giving us humanity for what it’s
worth um we already have that humanity
we get it by being born human but you’re
recognizing another person’s humanity
and when you recognize another person’s
humanity and I mean recognizing everyone
else’s humanity
regardless of how much you know about
the whole gender thing as it’s often
called regardless of whether or not you
can name LGBTQ regardless of how you
feel about those things when you
recognize another person’s humanity
their innate humanity that’s gonna be a
big disruption and that disruption just
might make the world a better place at
the very least it’s worth a shot that’s
my presentation thank you all so much [Applause]
been up here you’ve probably noticed
some things about me you might have
noticed my height or the shape of my
face or the sound of my voice and you
might have taken all of this information
and plunked it into your little brain
calculator and you might have come to
the conclusion that I’m a woman you
would be wrong but it doesn’t where it’s
not your fault we are taught from birth
that there are only two genders a person
gets pregnant and the questions begin is
it a boy or is it a girl sometimes oh
right I need the clicker you gave me
that for a reason sometimes they do
gender reveals right they they kind of
put a cake or they rip open an envelope
or if your hometown is anything like
mine they shoot boxes of explosives from
the back of their track but even if you
don’t do a gender reveal eventually that
baby comes out and the doctor holds it
up and says congratulations that the boy
your congratulations that the girl and
that one phrase dictates what that tiny
human being is for the rest of their
life we find out what that person is
long before we find out who that person
is see we live in a society that is
obsessed with the gender binary and when
I say the gender binary I’m talking
about the idea that there are two
genders binary one two or one and zero
if you’re you know computery just men
and just women men women . those are
your only two options we see this
message absolutely everywhere in our
society in Western culture we see it in
books like men are from Mars Women are
from Venus we see it in the rom-coms
that raised me in the early 2000s we see
it in the idea that men and women are
somehow fundamentally different we even
see it in the way that we gender our
bathrooms so what does it mean to be
non-binary in this society it means that
my gender is something outside of that
gender binary outside of those two
options I’m not a man and I’m not a
woman and there are all sorts of
non-binary genders and they all use
various different terms and all of those
terms are valid but I just like the term
non-binary it’s very name is a
rushon I I get to be a disruption just
by existing lucky me
and so in this gendered society being
non-binary sometimes means that you know
you go against the binary you go against
the flow and sometimes people think that
means that you go against what’s normal
or what’s right because like a lot of
things that are everywhere in our
society we think that things are common
or we think that things are normal just
because they’re common and so because
it’s common to fall into a binary gender
we think that that means that it’s
normal because it’s uncommon to fall
into a non-binary gender we think that
that means it’s abnormal in some way but
a whole ton of things are normal that
are not super common blue eyes are
normal but uncommon red hair is normal
but uncommon being left-handed is normal
but uncommon statistically speaking
being in what is currently known as
Canada is super globally speaking super
uncommon right just statistically you’re
not gonna be Canadian but you don’t see
people going like oh you’re like
Canadian I’m sorry are you sure you’re
not just like an American in a toque I
just I my apologies but I just really
disagree with that whole Canadian
lifestyle but and if you think I’m
exaggerating about what people say about
non-binary people unfortunately I’m not
see that’s the thing about disrupting
people’s world just by existing people
super do not like it when their world is
disrupted so instead of saying hey lis
you know what I’ve thought about it and
I’ve realized that maybe gender is
socially constructed maybe I’ve just
been taught from birth that there are
binary genders maybe I should question
that in myself instead of doing any of
that they get out the greatest weapon
known to mankind humankind I should say
so they get off this grade 12 biology
textbook and they say hey hey Lee have
you ever thought about how there are
only men and there are women there are
just men and women those are your only
two options because the only genitalia
that exists are penises and vaginas have
you thought about that as a side note I
googled can I say the word penis in a
TED talk as it turns out I can but I do
but I do sincerely want to address this
idea that you know in grade 12 bio I
learned that there are X chromosomes and
Y chromosomes and depending on your mix
you either get an inny or an outy and
those are your only two options in here
and OD yeah because as it turns out even
biological sex is not binary there are
all sorts of chromosome combinations
there are all sorts of ambiguous and
unambiguous genitalia there are all
sorts of hormone varieties there are
people who are born intersex which is
when their genitalia does not clearly
fit the the binary the penis vagina
binary that I just mentioned and there
are intersex people who are gonna be way
better at speaking at this than I am but
I just think it’s really important that
we know that that whole binary idea
whether it’s a gender or whether it’s
sex doesn’t always work it just doesn’t
reflect reality life is always way more
complicated than just two options also
unless you’ve had genetic testing you
probably don’t know what your chromosome
levels are where your chromosomes are or
your homework hormone levels also I
don’t know how to say this other than it
is super super weird to categorize
people by their genitalia like I know
we’ve just kind of decided as a society
that that’s a thing that we do but it’s
super super weird I’m not a woman
because I have a vagina any more than
I’m a woman because I have elbows or
eyebrows or feet but that’s what we do
in our binary gendered Society we look
at a sonogram and we look at what’s
between its legs and we go oh yes this
will dictate whether this human being
likes blue or pink this will dictate
whether this human being likes trucks
are tutus this will dictate whether this
human being is gonna make $1 or 78 cents
[Laughter]
[Applause]
I’m so glad you like that joke and so
this is probably the part of the
presentation we were going likely I get
it gender is socially constructed okay
you’ve liked hard on that point like I
get it but the problem or the solution
is just to eliminate gender roles let
boys play with dolls unlike girls play
with trucks and let’s just see people as
people and like maybe big picture maybe
that’s eventually where we kind of want
to be but that’s also ignoring this
gigantic socio-political context of
gender like is gender socially
constructed absolutely money is also
socially constructed but that does not
mean that it is not real because
apparently I still need to pay my rent
there are all sorts of aspects to being
non-binary that I could talk about I
could talk about how I could talk about
how there are all sorts of non-binary
genders and how they all used they all
might use different terms and how all of
those are valid I could talk about how
non-binary genders have existed
throughout tons of cultures and
throughout the past and in the present
and we will continue to exist in the
future I could talk about how the gender
binary it was actually a tool of
colonialism it was used to force
colonized populations into rigid
European gender roles I could talk about
how important gender neutral washrooms
are and I could talk about how
frustrating it is that our entire
identity is get reduced to where we pee
I could talk about all the things that
gender is not I could talk about how we
are not our bodies we are not our
clothing we are not our hair or makeup
or what society expects of us I could
talk about all of these things but we
don’t have all day you’ve all been very
patient with me so far so I’m gonna talk
about exactly one word and that word is
they so talking about the word they I’m
talking about they as a pronoun
specifically they as a singular
gender-neutral pronoun so not they as in
well that crowd at TEDx U and B all of
those individuals they look so good not
like that
we’re talking about wow that individual
on stage at TEDx knew and be vey sure
look good thank you I appreciate that
we use the singular they all the time
it’s already very much a part of how we
speak we say you know someone told me a
joke the other day what is their Twitter
handle all jokes happen on Twitter for
me apparently someone left you a package
every day where did they leave it we use
the singular way all the time
even when we are arguing against using
the singular they
I don’t recognize another person’s right
to determine what pronouns I use to
address them this is super awkward but
the singular gender-neutral day is
already very much a part of our lexicon
it’s already very much a part of what we
say and so when you don’t use the
singular they for someone who has asked
you to use the singular they it’s like
dehumanizing absolutely it’s kind of
saying like I know your life better than
you know your life but it’s also just
rude really it’s like if you met a new
person and you were like hi nice to meet
you and they said hi my name is Steven
and he said hey Stevie what’s up and
they were like oh like no worries but I
actually prefer that I actually prefer
Steven and you go okay well like steven
is just a lot for me to like get my
mouth around and it’s just really
inconvenient for me and it makes me kind
of uncomfortable and so I’m just gonna
go ahead and call you Stevie you’re
you’re cool with that right another
argument that I hear about the singular
they is that it’s grammatically
incorrect I have a English degree from
the University of New Brunswick woo and
so I’m actually super willing to argue
with you about this I’m desperate to put
so a couple of grammatical arguments one
is that we have been using the singular
they for a lot longer than we kind of
arbitrarily decided that we should stop
using it
the other thing is that language shifts
and changes and grows language is
designed to be descriptive not
prescriptive that means things exist in
the world and we find language to
describe them not we are limiting what
exists in the world based on what
language we have the other thing is is
that whether or not something is
grammatically correct
is never going to be as important as
whether a phrase recognizes the dignity
of another human being like I’m sorry
I’m sure there was another point I was
gonna make and now I forget what it is
so we’re here to talk about disruption
so I want to talk about disrupting the
language that we use
oh I remembered what I was gonna say so
a little story about grammar I know you
were all super excited about grammar so
a little story about grammar I one time
went to lunch with this um with this
professor an older woman who spent a
good amount of time talking about how
when she was younger she used ms instead
of Miss or mrs. back before it was kind
of a popular thing to do and she said
you know what it’s no one’s business
whether or not I’m married and in my
mind I thought yes language is political
the way that we describe ourselves makes
a political difference absolutely and I
thought it really made sense about how
these binaries continue to do a
disservice to so many people and then
she spent the next half of the lunch
talking about how she doesn’t accept
singular they on any of the assignments
that her students pass in so you might
yeah Twitter loved that joke so we’re
here to talk about disruption so I want
to talk about disrupting the language
that we use I want to talk about using
language as a tool to disrupt oppressive
systems in our society because using
different language might seem like a
really simple thing but language is a
political language is important and
language is powerful if it wasn’t
political important and powerful people
would not get so mad when you ask them
to use different words so language is
one tool that we have at our disposal to
start disrupting these systems so when
you use the singular they when you use
they pronouns for someone who asks you
to use they pronouns for them you’re
recognizing that person’s humanity you
are not giving us humanity for what it’s
worth um we already have that humanity
we get it by being born human but you’re
recognizing another person’s humanity
and when you recognize another person’s
humanity and I mean recognizing everyone
else’s humanity
regardless of how much you know about
the whole gender thing as it’s often
called regardless of whether or not you
can name LGBTQ regardless of how you
feel about those things when you
recognize another person’s humanity
their innate humanity that’s gonna be a
big disruption and that disruption just
might make the world a better place at
the very least it’s worth a shot that’s
my presentation thank you all so much [Applause]
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