eight a cold winter day but the Sun was
still bright and shining I was in a
store a shoe store on broadway in new
york city i had not entered a shoe store
in over a year and had forgotten how
effective retail therapy can be i felt
like a little girl in a candy shop
overwhelmed with options struggling to
decide between four pairs of shoes so i
bought them all I assured myself that I
would be back to return at least two
pairs Yeah right as i finished my
purchase and got ready to depart the
store i tapped my jacket pockets i
typically don’t carry a handbag and
prefer to stuff my pockets instead so i
took inventory phone check keys check
credit card check i walked out of the
store with for oversized bags this was a
moment to make a statement to be the
fashionable woman walking down broadway
carrying shopping bags on a right angle
arm hold two bags in each arm i walked i
had walked about three blocks when i
heard a man screaming man ma’am your mam
everyone was slowly turning to see the
man waving his hand in the air his final
shout came as ma’am you forgot your baby
in the store in a short second i thought
who would do something like that
irresponsible people and then a quick
nanosecond later I thought that’s my
baby oh my god I forgot my first born in
a shoe store in a panic I ran back there
she was safe in her bassinet wrapped in
her blanket all of three and a half
months old who forgets their baby in a
store who does that I did and I
guarantee you that one day you will too
or
at least come close to a similar
experience if you like me have a family
and are launching a venture-backed
first-to-market platform and a mostly
single parenting and working more hours
than who we can afford and have build
larger than your bank account to pay and
are dealing with endless doctor
appointments for your newborns rare
medical condition that led to an
emergency craniotomy at the tender age
of seven months and well you get the
point this talk is not about being
superhuman nor is it about garnering
empathy it is about the real life fact
that there is no such thing as achieving
perfect balance repeat after me you
cannot have it all with balance you can
have it all with that balance it’s
either or this conversation about
work-life balance and having it all has
garnered so much interest even a simple
quick Google search for work-life
balance yields over 82 million results
all the books you can read tricks you
can follow and talks you may have heard
from accomplished expert on the topic of
work-life balance are simply not
realistic they do not account for real
life which at best is unpredictable
especially for working women and men who
have to straddle both work and home
responsibilities there are several
societal changes we can point to that
highlight this reality first very few
industries if any still abide by a
40-hour workweek most people are working
odd hours constantly accessible and
on-call through this device we carry in
our pockets in India over
fifty five percent of managers who work
more than 40 hours a week in the u.s.
that number is fifty-eight percent and
the higher up you on your career that
reality increases dramatically in the US
women comprise nearly of half the labor
force and in more than sixty percent of
households with children all adults are
working in India women make up
twenty-five percent of the workforce
India is the hope to the world’s second
largest population aged 60 years and
above yet less than fifteen percent of
elderly population is covered by a
pension system which offers as little as
a dollar fifty a month putting the
entire financial burden of eldercare on
the adults and working families a recent
catalyst study in India showed that for
more than eighty percent of both men and
women in India the existing flexibility
policies provided by the organization
did not meet their work life needs yet
it was flexible only twelve percent of
private-sector workers have access to
paid family leave through the employer a
concept unheard of in India may be some
of these policies or norms will change
over the next decade but in the meantime
we need to stop harping on work-life
balance in the face of all of this and
instead focus on juggling let’s just be
honest juggling is an art but you knew
that a skilled juggler is able to create
a steady rhythm anticipating and
preparing for the addition of new
objects to the cycle without disruption
juggling is also a science did you know
that there’s a formula to determine the
probability of risk with each ball being
added to the cycle
I can break the formula down in detail
explaining the correlation between
probability and risk but the simple
logic is this as you increase the number
of balls you’re juggling the probability
that you drop one also increases in
relation to achieving the elusive
work-life balance the more
responsibilities you’re juggling the
more likely you are to metaphorically
drop the ball it is important to
continuously add responsibilities
without unloading others all while
maintaining balance and stability
juggling is not only about sequencing of
balls it’s also about swapping your
sequences for example what is the
probability that i’ll forget my child
from school or to pick her up from
school I know this is making me seem
like a highly forgetful person or
suggesting I have early onset of amnesia
but I assure you that it’s neither on
Monday my probability is high I have a
packed schedule and I have to pick her
up from her after-school program late in
the day other days it’s zero the school
bus drops her home recognizing the
assign probability of risk allows for
the human mind to do two things one be
more alert and aware this helps
psychologically reduce the risk to be
more accepting certain things are just
not in your direct control it’s
important to focus on the things that
you’re able to effectively change and
address with time experience and age
comes a peaceful sense of security and
comfort in your own skin with this comes
an understanding and an acceptance that
things will go wrong especially when
you’re juggling professional personal
and family responsibilities here are six
things worth spreading that will help
you master
the responsibilities in your life while
still achieving success and maintaining
sanity one will happen accept it
but don’t wait for it to honestly
acknowledge when you’ve made a mess and
be quick to take ownership and say sorry
three have the humility to ask for help
a lot of it take a step back to
prioritize and be realistic about what
you take on there are people willing to
help if you just ask for be humble there
is no need to blow your own trumpet
unfortunately we in today’s hashtag
selfie world don’t recognize that five
be transparent and real when
communicating with others whether it’s
talking apologizing accepting advising
or presenting six most importantly laugh
at yourself and don’t forget your smile
there is strength in finding the humor
in even the worst circumstances
embracing humor and laughter reduces
stress so here I am a working mother who
wants just once forgot her daughter in a
shoe store I learned a lot about the art
and science of juggling since then but I
also know that I’ll continuously drop
balls now and then and it’s okay this
talk is an example of my daily juggle
while I would have loved to be there
with all of you today i currently have
several balls in the air that are
keeping me from joining you in person
I’m flying to California for a wedding
planning a company-wide meeting and just
being mom in juggling all of these
things I continually remind myself
of the six steps will happen my
flight may get delayed a new product
will have bugs and so long as I stay
humble communicate ask for help and
laugh at myself it will be okay remember
so long as you don’t work everyday to
strike some sort of a mythical
unachievable balance it’ll all be okay
so I leave you with this learn to juggle
and when a ball drops pick it up and keep going