[Music]
[Applause]
there is an anger across this nation we
choose not to acknowledge it’s an anger
that is fueled by racism prejudice
discrimination and poverty a distressed
discontent that is growing not just here
but around the world but under anger is
always grief but through listening deep
listening we can help heal that grief
all Aboriginal languages have words for
listening they have slightly different
meanings but they all are part of the
way that we have communicated on this
land we now called Australia in paedon
Jarrah Collini
wanting to listen needing to listen in
Bunge alone Ghana in Gamila Roy winning
gallery and on the North Shore here the
Mongol Canberra run hunger and then
there is da/dt in a deep listening and
quiet still awareness miramos Hungama
Bauman a senior custodian knowledge
holder leader school principal from now
you in the Daly River of the Northern
Territory sister duty is our most unique
gift it is perhaps the greatest gift we
can give to the rest of Australia as I
embarked on my PhD fieldwork trying to
understand the context the way that we
communicate with each other through
violence I knew it was these principles
I needed to learn and to use to listen
in reciprocal relationships with no
judgment just to try to understand I
invite you now to
sit with me for a while as I tell some
stories to show you what I learned as I
listened in 1987 I was working with the
aboriginal Coordinating Council in North
Queensland sitting in long meetings with
council members and government
authorities long discussions about
policies and programs but in the
evenings I’d go out and I’d sit under a
mango tree and listen to elders and as
we talked I started to come to an
understanding that they actually were
talking and thinking about something
slightly different
caring for country making sure country
would help was healthy worried about
their children what’s happening with our
youth and what is this violence in our
families I needed to find a way to
understand that violence to understand
where it was coming from why it was
happening and more particularly what we
could do about it I came back down to my
own country when my dad was born the
country where his people had moved to
after the Hornet Bank Massacre up from
the upper dorsen moving in cross the
Fitzroy base in Rockhampton
that was going to be the site of my
fieldwork my understanding of violence
transformed as I listened to the stories
of multi-layered grief and trauma
intergenerational complex compounded
some years into my PhD I got a call from
a doctor in her surgery in town and he
said can you come down here I have a
woman here in my surgeon I just don’t
know what to do so I left my office and
I went down to his surgeon walked in and
there was a woman sitting there and she
was frozen solid just staring at the
wall they were two children against the
world intensely looking at her I think
wondering themselves what was happening
with their mum I didn’t know what to do
either so I walked overnight I said at
her feet and I put my hand out to touch
one of her fate and tentatively I said I
haven’t seen you around town before
have you just come where have you come
from and she said by train I’ve just
come down from Cannes so what were you
doing attendance I was in yoga Oh in
Yoruba you know have you got relatives
there why are you there and like a
floodgate this story swirled and
cascaded over me she had just buried a
daughter who had been killed in a
domestic assault
she had come there just after she had
buried his son in Mount Iser who had
suicided she had another son sitting in
a prison who was on suicide watch in a
trance State she taught winding back
just winding back through her childhood
removed as a child placed in a
children’s home abused leaving when she
was in her early teens living on the
streets years sexual violence violence
on the streets even in a watch house she
got together with the first man who
showed her some kindness seven children
years and years of domestic and sexual
violence for me time Stood Still
I listened listened trying to quietly
myself just to hold and to witness her
story knowing that I was crying but
unable to stop as I came to hear and
understand the multiplicity of the grief
in the complex trauma of her life
finally she came back to the room saw me
in the doctor’s surgery sitting in front
of her and she reached out and wiped a
tear from my cheek took a deep breath
and said thank you I’ve never told this
story to anyone before thank you for
listening then we finished we sat down
together we worked out what we could do
for her put her into a place where she
and her daughters could sleep for the
night what we could do in the next few
days before we could get her back on the
train to Sydney to Redfern where I knew
by that time there would be community
members that would support it
this is the beginning of healing these
are the stories that are pushed down and
the stories that that a need to be told
and we need to listen to them but with
listening comes a responsibility it
forces us to listen to ourself I was
asked to work with a family in Northwest
Australia two young men had suicided in
the family taken their lives we were
working on sacred ground and during the
week the grandfather of those two young
men a 96 year old elder custodian lawmen
directed us and where we could walk what
we could do in the activities of our
healing grieving the loss of these two
lives at one stage this law man this
elder said I can’t you can’t stop them
we couldn’t stop the white man when they
came with their guns we can’t we can’t
stop these young ones from doing what
they’re doing now I could feel the
generational despair in him in his words
the felt sense of powerlessness some
painful distressing stories came from
the group and some powerful healing work
happened over the five days of the
retreat on the last day we formed a
circle of all the people that were there
and I realized because I stood beside
him that the man I was standing beside
the father of those two boys had not
spoken a word in those five days I could
feel within me his body trembling his
spirit moving I said to him uncle I need
your help I have this pain so big here I
need to bring it out before I leave your
country can you help me please
he nodded this was his country I could
not leave his country carrying the pain
that was there because I would spread it
elsewhere let me show you how I said to
him as I went to him to the ground and I
brought this up and
came out his whaling through my throat
can you do this with me I said and he
nodded so we went down together in the
first moment nothing came and I said
uncle I need some I hope it’s still here
can we do it again please so we went
down again and this time I could feel
the trembling coming from him and just a
slight movement of noise and in the
third time I said uncle I still have
this here I need your help
again and we went down and this time as
he came up there was a wailing that came
from him that froze us all we stopped to
hold that wailing for that moment and
then we set him in the sand together as
he cried and cried and then he started
to talk and this I was told later was
the first time he had spoken since he
had cut down the body of his last son
sacred aground allows healing to happen
across generations and it happens in the
right way and in the right time and in
the right places
if we enter our own deep listening we
sometimes find within us an intolerance
of our own inherited assumptions
judgements prejudices our own resistance
to feel our own pain because we all have
it all of us both individually and as a
nation I have learned my impatience
might need the action and I’m an action
person is not a virtue when healing has
to happen it takes time and it is heard
hard work I want to give honor to the
artists of these paintings Chris Edwards
Eames who is not here today this is the
life story that belongs to him we were
sitting together in my back yard as he
made this stick just burnt it out of the
things there in my yard and it gives me
a permission to talk to you today
I was listening as I talked about his
life journey removal as a child from his
mother’s arms she had previously been
removed and a lifting put him under
girls home she said she was sitting
beside the grave of his father her
husband as they took him from her arms
his placement in foster care
near busy experienced which took him on
the pathway to juvenile detention at old
prison we’re so worried about our prison
populations their juvenile detention
populations but only listening I heard a
question as a small child how did he
survive this loss
disappears this pain was harmed his body
stood for a moment as his mind went back
to focus on at that time in his life
when things got really bad I would go
out into the paddock and curl up under
the long grass and get warm from the Sun
on me nobody could find me and sometimes
I would climb a tree in my crib tree and
I would go to sleep in the branches of
that tree
i sat transfixed when I could speak I
said to him you knew what to do you’ve
found your mother’s womb in the cocoon
of that long grass and the warmth of the
Sun in your body
and you found in the branches of that
tree that told you the strength of her
arms around you what an amazing child
your work he cried he had never thought
of his deep intuition his survival
instincts his capacity to self heal as a
strength and then because he was there
with me I said right we’re here to do
the anger work go in find it and he went
in and he came back out and said it’s
not there Judy okay
go back inside tell me what’s there and
he came back out and said it’s brief and
I said good we’ll work with the grief go
in and let’s get into it and he came
back out and said now if I go enter into
that grief I would split into a thousand
pieces and you’d never be able to put me
back together again he’s not here today
and he was my guest because this morning
about three o’clock he had more heart
pain he’s had three heart attacks
it’s the residue of childhood harm the
ace study shows us that we’re not
listening we’re not learning from the
research that’s been done there is a
truth in this country we must confront
as we move into maturity grief the grief
of separation and loss of shame of pain
deep and unresolved a woundedness that
is much more than the commemoration of
the Anzacs
and much much more than the celebration
partying and boozing that we have on
Australia Day this country is more than
that it has to be it holds the trauma of
many people across many generations
indigenous the invaders the immigrants
all seeking refuge from pain and
disorder that we humans are so good at
creating in this world it is time we
started the work of deep listening we
all together the eyes coming to we
working with each other for
transformation listening listening
deeply to one another in contemplative
reciprocal relationships a mindfulness
to the multiple stories embedded in the
lands we call home her place Australia
Maryam Rose said Diddy is the original
gift to this nation a gift that we all
have been waiting for it is this gift of
listening if you accept this
as a nation we can all grow together but
it comes with a warning
and I guess Mandela in South Africa has
taught us this as well that if we do not
put our mind to growing leaders leaders
who can listen with compassion with
understanding if we do not understand
that is our duty now once we understand
and upset this fist if to act in the
lesson from South Africa with all the
goodwill we may have the leaders that
come after us will not be able to grow
the future for our children thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
there is an anger across this nation we
choose not to acknowledge it’s an anger
that is fueled by racism prejudice
discrimination and poverty a distressed
discontent that is growing not just here
but around the world but under anger is
always grief but through listening deep
listening we can help heal that grief
all Aboriginal languages have words for
listening they have slightly different
meanings but they all are part of the
way that we have communicated on this
land we now called Australia in paedon
Jarrah Collini
wanting to listen needing to listen in
Bunge alone Ghana in Gamila Roy winning
gallery and on the North Shore here the
Mongol Canberra run hunger and then
there is da/dt in a deep listening and
quiet still awareness miramos Hungama
Bauman a senior custodian knowledge
holder leader school principal from now
you in the Daly River of the Northern
Territory sister duty is our most unique
gift it is perhaps the greatest gift we
can give to the rest of Australia as I
embarked on my PhD fieldwork trying to
understand the context the way that we
communicate with each other through
violence I knew it was these principles
I needed to learn and to use to listen
in reciprocal relationships with no
judgment just to try to understand I
invite you now to
sit with me for a while as I tell some
stories to show you what I learned as I
listened in 1987 I was working with the
aboriginal Coordinating Council in North
Queensland sitting in long meetings with
council members and government
authorities long discussions about
policies and programs but in the
evenings I’d go out and I’d sit under a
mango tree and listen to elders and as
we talked I started to come to an
understanding that they actually were
talking and thinking about something
slightly different
caring for country making sure country
would help was healthy worried about
their children what’s happening with our
youth and what is this violence in our
families I needed to find a way to
understand that violence to understand
where it was coming from why it was
happening and more particularly what we
could do about it I came back down to my
own country when my dad was born the
country where his people had moved to
after the Hornet Bank Massacre up from
the upper dorsen moving in cross the
Fitzroy base in Rockhampton
that was going to be the site of my
fieldwork my understanding of violence
transformed as I listened to the stories
of multi-layered grief and trauma
intergenerational complex compounded
some years into my PhD I got a call from
a doctor in her surgery in town and he
said can you come down here I have a
woman here in my surgeon I just don’t
know what to do so I left my office and
I went down to his surgeon walked in and
there was a woman sitting there and she
was frozen solid just staring at the
wall they were two children against the
world intensely looking at her I think
wondering themselves what was happening
with their mum I didn’t know what to do
either so I walked overnight I said at
her feet and I put my hand out to touch
one of her fate and tentatively I said I
haven’t seen you around town before
have you just come where have you come
from and she said by train I’ve just
come down from Cannes so what were you
doing attendance I was in yoga Oh in
Yoruba you know have you got relatives
there why are you there and like a
floodgate this story swirled and
cascaded over me she had just buried a
daughter who had been killed in a
domestic assault
she had come there just after she had
buried his son in Mount Iser who had
suicided she had another son sitting in
a prison who was on suicide watch in a
trance State she taught winding back
just winding back through her childhood
removed as a child placed in a
children’s home abused leaving when she
was in her early teens living on the
streets years sexual violence violence
on the streets even in a watch house she
got together with the first man who
showed her some kindness seven children
years and years of domestic and sexual
violence for me time Stood Still
I listened listened trying to quietly
myself just to hold and to witness her
story knowing that I was crying but
unable to stop as I came to hear and
understand the multiplicity of the grief
in the complex trauma of her life
finally she came back to the room saw me
in the doctor’s surgery sitting in front
of her and she reached out and wiped a
tear from my cheek took a deep breath
and said thank you I’ve never told this
story to anyone before thank you for
listening then we finished we sat down
together we worked out what we could do
for her put her into a place where she
and her daughters could sleep for the
night what we could do in the next few
days before we could get her back on the
train to Sydney to Redfern where I knew
by that time there would be community
members that would support it
this is the beginning of healing these
are the stories that are pushed down and
the stories that that a need to be told
and we need to listen to them but with
listening comes a responsibility it
forces us to listen to ourself I was
asked to work with a family in Northwest
Australia two young men had suicided in
the family taken their lives we were
working on sacred ground and during the
week the grandfather of those two young
men a 96 year old elder custodian lawmen
directed us and where we could walk what
we could do in the activities of our
healing grieving the loss of these two
lives at one stage this law man this
elder said I can’t you can’t stop them
we couldn’t stop the white man when they
came with their guns we can’t we can’t
stop these young ones from doing what
they’re doing now I could feel the
generational despair in him in his words
the felt sense of powerlessness some
painful distressing stories came from
the group and some powerful healing work
happened over the five days of the
retreat on the last day we formed a
circle of all the people that were there
and I realized because I stood beside
him that the man I was standing beside
the father of those two boys had not
spoken a word in those five days I could
feel within me his body trembling his
spirit moving I said to him uncle I need
your help I have this pain so big here I
need to bring it out before I leave your
country can you help me please
he nodded this was his country I could
not leave his country carrying the pain
that was there because I would spread it
elsewhere let me show you how I said to
him as I went to him to the ground and I
brought this up and
came out his whaling through my throat
can you do this with me I said and he
nodded so we went down together in the
first moment nothing came and I said
uncle I need some I hope it’s still here
can we do it again please so we went
down again and this time I could feel
the trembling coming from him and just a
slight movement of noise and in the
third time I said uncle I still have
this here I need your help
again and we went down and this time as
he came up there was a wailing that came
from him that froze us all we stopped to
hold that wailing for that moment and
then we set him in the sand together as
he cried and cried and then he started
to talk and this I was told later was
the first time he had spoken since he
had cut down the body of his last son
sacred aground allows healing to happen
across generations and it happens in the
right way and in the right time and in
the right places
if we enter our own deep listening we
sometimes find within us an intolerance
of our own inherited assumptions
judgements prejudices our own resistance
to feel our own pain because we all have
it all of us both individually and as a
nation I have learned my impatience
might need the action and I’m an action
person is not a virtue when healing has
to happen it takes time and it is heard
hard work I want to give honor to the
artists of these paintings Chris Edwards
Eames who is not here today this is the
life story that belongs to him we were
sitting together in my back yard as he
made this stick just burnt it out of the
things there in my yard and it gives me
a permission to talk to you today
I was listening as I talked about his
life journey removal as a child from his
mother’s arms she had previously been
removed and a lifting put him under
girls home she said she was sitting
beside the grave of his father her
husband as they took him from her arms
his placement in foster care
near busy experienced which took him on
the pathway to juvenile detention at old
prison we’re so worried about our prison
populations their juvenile detention
populations but only listening I heard a
question as a small child how did he
survive this loss
disappears this pain was harmed his body
stood for a moment as his mind went back
to focus on at that time in his life
when things got really bad I would go
out into the paddock and curl up under
the long grass and get warm from the Sun
on me nobody could find me and sometimes
I would climb a tree in my crib tree and
I would go to sleep in the branches of
that tree
i sat transfixed when I could speak I
said to him you knew what to do you’ve
found your mother’s womb in the cocoon
of that long grass and the warmth of the
Sun in your body
and you found in the branches of that
tree that told you the strength of her
arms around you what an amazing child
your work he cried he had never thought
of his deep intuition his survival
instincts his capacity to self heal as a
strength and then because he was there
with me I said right we’re here to do
the anger work go in find it and he went
in and he came back out and said it’s
not there Judy okay
go back inside tell me what’s there and
he came back out and said it’s brief and
I said good we’ll work with the grief go
in and let’s get into it and he came
back out and said now if I go enter into
that grief I would split into a thousand
pieces and you’d never be able to put me
back together again he’s not here today
and he was my guest because this morning
about three o’clock he had more heart
pain he’s had three heart attacks
it’s the residue of childhood harm the
ace study shows us that we’re not
listening we’re not learning from the
research that’s been done there is a
truth in this country we must confront
as we move into maturity grief the grief
of separation and loss of shame of pain
deep and unresolved a woundedness that
is much more than the commemoration of
the Anzacs
and much much more than the celebration
partying and boozing that we have on
Australia Day this country is more than
that it has to be it holds the trauma of
many people across many generations
indigenous the invaders the immigrants
all seeking refuge from pain and
disorder that we humans are so good at
creating in this world it is time we
started the work of deep listening we
all together the eyes coming to we
working with each other for
transformation listening listening
deeply to one another in contemplative
reciprocal relationships a mindfulness
to the multiple stories embedded in the
lands we call home her place Australia
Maryam Rose said Diddy is the original
gift to this nation a gift that we all
have been waiting for it is this gift of
listening if you accept this
as a nation we can all grow together but
it comes with a warning
and I guess Mandela in South Africa has
taught us this as well that if we do not
put our mind to growing leaders leaders
who can listen with compassion with
understanding if we do not understand
that is our duty now once we understand
and upset this fist if to act in the
lesson from South Africa with all the
goodwill we may have the leaders that
come after us will not be able to grow
the future for our children thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
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