we said I’m a social worker with over
some now 30 plus years of experience
serving children and family and Who I am
today is that what it was but I
graduated not even more was five years
ago and I hope who I am five years from
now is that who I am today because only
did people are standing still of time
and I don’t never to be one of those
that at least not anytime soon I’ve
learned the lessons along the way in my
training like Jenny social workers we
learn the importance of cognitive
knowledge learning about the professions
skills that we would need to do this
work to serve others and while the area
that I focused on initially was
gerontology I quickly realized that
whenever the needs of people as they
came in the door worth I had to prepare
myself so besides my professional
learning had to have continuous ongoing
education one of the areas that I did
not plan to work on was addiction and
the topic today is the resurgence of
hope with addiction from a personal
perspective as well as from the people
that I serve I grew up like many social
workers learning that if you had an
addiction alcohol or drugs even like a
alcoholic anonymous or he went to
narcotics anonymous and some type of
complaint and we’re sent in that little
box but things happen you know like the
bumper sticker as you move along their
life and I was one of its fun event that
happened in my life that but I got an
aha moment was a an award 0
that the National Association of Social
Workers was getting me and I brought up
my mom she blew up here from Texas and
my staff was there we had a big table of
the Children’s Hospital and everybody
was very happy and my mom was there
interacting with folks and in walks this
gentleman with long hair Oh young boy
died and my mother like she forgot who
were she just speaks insist look at that
man for that long care who I was there
earth to swallow me you know and I
simply um well and she was looking good
that he’s put his hearing the fun for
this event and so I knowing my mom I
quickly reframed everything and kind of
changed the topic and I said well I’ve
got to go up to the podium so I move up
to the stage and lo and behold here
comes this gentleman the long hair and
sits right next to me so I introduced
myself and I said oh are you a social or
better any system are you getting an
award tonight two egos yes and I go oh
but what is your water kitties that I
might for the Hells Angels that was
interesting what is your work with the
Hells Angels and then he told me his
story and he’s a recovering addict and
that he goes with them writing so that
maybe that one day one of them wants to
change their lifestyle that hopefully
they can learn something from him and I
go through the same challenging steps
that he went through so I upon youngest
brother is at it and we certainly had
our struggles in our family with family
and so I said he could ask you a
personal question because we still have
time of there and I said how did she
finally stopped cuz my brother says it
is very hard and he says
me because your body begins to hurt to
have so much pain and you just wanted to
stop and so you go in to a sinner and
then they begin asking you a lot of
questions and telling you a lot of
things what you got to do and I’m
listening and feeling things you know
myself as a social worker s he’s talking
I’m seeing it remembering things and he
says and and then I try to do what they
told me I try to do everything they say
but then I had a setback and then I
would go back to what I knew my family
would reject me they would get mad at me
they tell me I was lying I just wanted
to trick them to give more money from
them and I go to what I know and then I
go to that point in and then I would go
into another place the same thing I
would go again and after World these
people at these dinners would say you
know what you’re not a real candidate
for this program you know your urine
successful you’re not serious about this
and we need to save our bids for the
good clients and as he’s talking and
telling me this like real quick I am
getting so emotional I can hardly even
concentrate why were there and he’s
going on and he said but finally one day
I went into this place and these young
little gift even have been like maybe
twenty two of you graduate I guess he
didn’t know the program yet for the
protocol was for him to do and he asked
me something nobody had ever asked him
he has employed if you like to do man
and I thought I’m going to tell it
because you know what he’s probably not
even gonna take me and I told him I
would like to tear down my hardest
engine and put it back together his
motorcycle engine and and advise it wow
that is really cool you know that takes
a lot of intelligence do you think that
you may want to teach some of the other
guys here how to do that because you can
have a life with that that is really
special and he said to me and I was
liking this so much i thought i might
even
this to my hair and he said no man
unless you want to and he said and that
is the place that I yield myself and I
couldn’t wait to go in the car and talk
to my mom have a good meeting you know
not just scold her but to tell her mom
we have been part of this problem of my
brother with aids addiction I said we
have been part of this problem because I
have always said practice for people’s
strengths are doing try to tell them how
to change what’s wrong look at what’s
right going with them right now and if
the only thing is that they had the
courage to come in it has for help the
next that’s where you start you took a
lot of courage to walk in here and ask
for help and even if you have a setback
we can tell the person like till my
brother look you unclean for two weeks
don’t get down on yourself we’re here
for you maybe next time to leave two
months this problem of addiction is
everywhere it’s that I have many many
friends and almost all of them know
somebody that has a problem with
addiction and the current problem naaa
hasn’t always one for everybody what
does what does resonate with that is
that you have to have a belief that you
are worthy of something that you can’t
do something that you do have a purpose
and that’s where my brother Renee comes
in and so there began a change for our
family how we related to him by this
time she disappeared for five years
because he felt shamed because he wanted
to change and hear all of us are always
on about why we should do this why can’t
you do this go to this place you know
and and it was very happy state nothing
happens by accident but that Christmas
my mother was visiting you Detroit and
the phenix came with two big packages
there were two beautiful beacons oil
paintings my brother had started writing
and told us he was in prison for crimes
related to drugs strike it drugs like
many of the people that are addicts wind
up with in jail for small property
crimes well anyway he tells us he’s
peeking both my mother and I were the
process after someone hurts you is you
don’t immediately just bury yourself
you’re afraid that you’re going to be
hurt again so it’s normal that at the
beginning you’re not giving in but when
we saw those paintings this is how close
we were both of us did at the same time
to those he just decided ripest and an
amenity synapses remaining hi another
mini if you have been there you know
because as I talk about the country
people tell me its oh that’s how I was
or that’s how I am and so our that was
December around worry I won’t put one
night and I got only Club what does it
matter what if he didn’t paint those
paintings what if didn’t write those
beautiful letters and these he cared
enough to do that for me I will start at
that point and begin to write to him and
their develop a beautiful relationship
because we come from the same parents
but you know what it’s like these five
fingers they come from this hand but
look how different they are and so
sometimes because we’re related by blood
we think we know each other when we live
on other sides of the country we don’t
know each other they don’t know where we
are we merely know who we are and so you
have to talk with each other but the
beauty of winding letters back and forth
was that when he wrote me something I
couldn’t right away to stop him and say
although you know you didn’t do that no
you did this no I had to read the letter
in the context that he wrote it and then
I would respond to him and he shared
with me because I wanted to know how did
this happen that you begin
paint and when he started to Pete he
painted things that were collected the
process of self-awareness of dealing
with those painful memories like he did
this painting of himself a self-portrait
where he is in jail and you see the men
in the back chain it’s like chained by
guilt and my mom the mother always in
the background the paint that they must
have caused their mom and then he
painted conflict among generations where
you see the elders there dressed in
black because they’re grieving the youth
they don’t know what to do how to reach
the magine the flame symbolize of HIV
early conservation teen pregnancy
dropout from school and what comes with
it and so it was this process of my
trying to look back at where he had come
from and then to a later stage where he
began with pride to pay good things in
our culture like Selena and many other
paintings that I will show you in a
little bit but it was like a process and
accepting of how did you do this I had
no idea and he said to me you know I met
a man here in jail Larry loss of Black
Muslim and everybody knew his story he
had been accused of killing a police
officer which he did not do and a lot of
people in the community were writing
letters but there we had no rage or
anger and my brother was always angry
and he said it I would cause it if they
were wrong you’re stupid you know blah
blah blah and he would always stay with
me buddy why don’t you just come to the
craft shop you know let me show you this
art it will help you because art is like
a religion it helps you to cleanse
yourself to paint the pain away or to
help you to get in touch with things
that you shove down and he said and as I
I went posted because I like being
wrong Larry it was a piece about him and
I wanted that but I didn’t know that at
the time but I like to be about him he
said and they’re in a crash-up I started
to paint and I liked it and I started to
read like 30,000 hours of reading the
great masters and then the guys would
savor any you’re not like the rest of us
you have a get ready to have a good he
said I would just say oh they’re just
yet he said but at night I would think
what if the person that I always thought
I was that people told me I was what if
that’s not really like and what if the
real person is this one and he said I
realized that I could be this person
right here in jail that I could live my
authentic life right here and do things
that I was supposed to do so he started
to work for the warden to paint things
first he would just paint buildings or
eight rooms and things and then other
people as they see the consistent
behavior started inviting him Renee the
high school is going to have a prom
theme of Hawaii if we want to campus
could you do this and they would work
with him if he do it for religious
leaders would compensate listen could
you plead this lesson virgin or Jesus
and he would do it you know and he said
then I realize I’m living my life it
doesn’t matter if I’m here or out there
but I’m the night and through the heart
I have helped other people here to
decide not to kill themselves they
wanted they were suicidal before and
they decided not to do it and it goes
back to that people can heal themselves
we don’t heal them but a big part of it
is service that’s not just you put
service for others from the heart and
also that part of that healing is a
belief that you are worthy of love now
look how far the guy with the long hair
I don’t remember his name anymore what
good
stud I told my mother that story and a
lot changed that our relationship and
our family with grenade unfortunately he
doesn’t do drugs he used to do them
right there in the jail because I know
you know you can get grunts at the gym
but he has been clean for a very long
time and I was invited by a psychologist
to talk to a group of what I thought
were grieving parents of nearly lost
children and when i get there was a very
different group of older couples of
single and single women and I thought
wow this is not like my regular children
hospital had a group so then when he
introduced me he sends a very grandiose
things and I felt in fairies i thought i
don’t want these people that they don’t
know everything I’m going to tell them
how I am a student like them and I told
them the story of my brother how I have
rejected him because he had heard us and
how I had to forgive myself and have a
talk with myself that you know what this
is not happy this is about her name and
that if I forgive him and if he has a
setback it’s still okay it’s not about
he didn’t do it to me he didn’t make a
fool out of eat he is a human who is
struggling with an illness and so I told
him that story and this man there this
is many years back 25 years exactly now
this man Fabian was in the group and he
is up after I talk if he said I am going
to be honest with you he said I did not
want to come to this group today for
this lady and he pointed to the baby he
walked in with an older lady who said it
another place but where he said he said
she comes about twice a week with her
Bible to talk to me about the Bible and
she brings some sandwiches and today it
was snowing and she had me would I
please accompany her because she was
afraid to drive all the way up here to
cancer
from Detroit and I really thought about
staying no because I had plans to get
drugged tonight but I heard then I won’t
have poop because you know that is their
priorities the drug said they often know
at boot and he said so I thought well I
can still party afterwards and it was
very moving and he said but you know I
feel that this was meant to be and I
can’t believe that you very fine
professional people have allowed me in
your house but we had done something
extraordinary and he said that you’ve
allowed me to sit here and then you
didn’t even let me take my shoes off
that you let me walk in here and sit
down with my shoes on he said I want to
promise you all tonight that I will
never do drugs the end and i am going to
work to help other people and to try to
bring my family back to join me from
California because the Wyatt other two
children here in California well i have
to tell you if I had I thought oh he’s
just inspired tonight but by tomorrow
you’ll forget of the supposed to end a
this is not going to work that’s what a
ticket in my head being honest but guess
what 25 years later this man did not go
to ma or a 8 and he is sober he is a
leader in his community walking the
streets like that lady helping other
people through telling his story so the
same player through service and finding
that he was worthy and that he could
love and then it might take time and
maybe his family was not accepted but
then he would go forth in honesty and so
this gentleman today is a very important
member of the community here in Detroit
and so I say to you that it is important
not to label people because we’re human
beings all of us bombed out and all of
us yeah but the problem is that all of
us are a different
of that road of getting to know
ourselves of finding out who we are of
learning to be kind and loving to
ourselves to be able to forgive
ourselves I want to show with you just
some of the paintings that my brother
now has done he’s even painted famous
people as well or alive but this is
coming from a little boy that started as
a child scribbling just like doodling is
what my mom would call it and we didn’t
be any attention to it because when I
think that why did I think that was
useless I didn’t even know how to draw a
stick figure okay how why did I think
the best stuff Oh something good and I
think that the importance is that we
have to stop tearing people down and we
need to start focusing on what is good
about the person building up those
things that they show interest in just
like the guy with the long hair who said
since he was little his parents always
told that because he was drawn to bikes
you’re going to grow up and be nobody
but the Hells Angel doing no good and
why did that have to be a Hells Angel
because they have been in there ended if
you’re going to like bicycles it must be
related to that because we’re like
slaves in the pedia everything that is
out there were just incorporated without
thinking that no look at what he’s doing
at home he is a counselor and uses his
love of bikes to work with youth and
teach a very good skin so the importance
is to look at people and look at where
are they drawn to where do they want to
spend the majority of their time so I
will leave you with that that life is a
journey and then if you have made
mistakes in the past the most important
thing is to go back and try to correct
them and then to go forward entom and to
live your life authentically with
feelings and not as if it’s going to be
bored where we try to push it down and
to try to look
because it doesn’t work I’ll just
telling them thank you so much
[Applause] [Music]