everything in life is a lesson but it’s
our perception of these lessons that
actually create your life failure we
have all done it simply sending the text
to the wrong person saying that silly
thing in that all-important interview
but what about success what does that
mean to you is it as simple as waking up
in the morning and making your bed or is
it more about winning a competition or
what about how much money you make
for the past 47 years I’ve been involved
in the dance industry in one way or
another I was born with a clubfoot and
my parents were told if they put me in
ballet it will turn up my foot naturally
and it did but by the time I was nine
years old I knew dance was more than
just a hobby for me it became my passion
I love to dance
every year I would take a ballet exam
and my friends all told me you get your
results in the mail and if you see a red
corner that meant you failed so every
year I would take my exam and I would
rip open that envelope and hold that
letter up I’m so excited when I would
see no red corner in my pre-professional
year my lastic ballet exam before I
became a dancer I opened that letter and
they’re staring in front of me was the
red corner it might have wellis just
said you fail in bright red writing what
did I do when I got that I did what any
young artist would do I told myself I
was worthless
I created this whole image of myself as
a failure in an embarrassment to
everyone 12 years I had trained five six
seven days a week and I was gonna give
it all up the next day I went to school
and you know what happened nothing
nothing happened I was the exact same me
as I was the day before I went to and to
school the day before and then I went to
my ballet class that night six out of
ten kids had failed their exam and my
ballet teacher told me that she failed
this exam when she was my age but that’s
not what I told myself I told myself I
was the only one this was super
confusing to me because I I was a
failure so what what was this so I
started writing I wrote down everything
I wrote down my emotions how people
treated me my expectations and I wrote
down success any piece of paper without
a red corner I realized two really
important things one I was actually
taking my egg ballet exam just not to
fail rather than to pass and to my idea
of what success and failure were we’re
totally wrong success feels amazing it’s
exhilarating and it gives you a sense of
pride failure embarrassing and shameful
well that’s what I told myself that’s
what I was taught to believe but I
didn’t understand how this worked we
make a lot of choices in life based on
love or fear I believe we make a lot of
choices in life on if we’re gonna
succeed or if we’re gonna fail it’s a
perception of these things that actually
create events in our life perception is
reality you believe it’s real it’s real
you think you’re happy you’re happy so
it’s our perception that was wrong
I started red cornering events in my
life putting things and healthy true
honest perspective there are so many
people in life who have accomplished
great things after failure Oprah Walt
Disney we’ve all heard of those I
remember the ballerina misty Copeland
she was only 13 years old when she
started dancing and she’s African
American which is how many African
American ballerinas have you seen not
many
she was so poor that her and her five
brothers and sisters would fight for a
space on a motel room floor when they
had no
to live yet she is the prima ballerina
right now in 2015 and still is today for
the American Ballet Theatre and she’s
the first african-american to do it and
she is also one of the 100 most
influential people of the world right
now people like Lady gaga
she lost her record deal after only
three months her first first record deal
and yet she’s a music icon of today the
developer of Instagram took 12 years to
get to that to market but we don’t hear
about that I make the rules I get to
decide what success and failure mean and
you do too so stop letting other people
do it and you decide you take control of
that when I did that I changed I started
putting my love of adventure creativity
and helping others ahead of failures or
successes I have got to teach my passion
of Dance for over 30 years and I’ve even
won dad’s Teacher of the Year four times
and not only that I’m an at-risk youth
worker here in our communities and I
volunteer helping kids who can’t find
their place addictions and all these
things they’re finding their places cuz
I get to do that through volunteering
how wonderful is that
an adventure I have traveled the world
following adventure
I have swam with sharks in South Africa
I have kayak glaciers in Alaska I even
entered a cooking competition against
real chefs and I won all because I put
my love at learning and growing ahead of
any success or failure or any fear of
failure I loved it I watched as this
grew and grew
I watched my students I was teaching but
over and over you know what my students
who failed the most we’re still
succeeding the most I remembered reading
this book called
art and fear in this books it was a
ceramics class in this ceramics class
they broke the surround his class into
two groups group a was gonna be marked
on how many pots they could make Group B
was told they’re gonna be marked
on one pot the best pot they could make
group a had to make 50 pots together day
44 a/b and so on they went right to work
making as many pots as they could group
B took their time slowly created this
one beautiful pot to hand in to be great
it just on the quality of that pot the
results surprised everyone every single
person in Group A also had the better
quality pots practice makes better pots
you could also say those who failed the
most succeed the most but I don’t know
there are so many talks about success
and failures all the time I remember
sitting my nine-year-old daughter down
and talking to her about what success
and failure meant
failures oh man she could come up with
failure after failure no problem but
when it came to success she had a hard
time talking about what success meant to
her I was kind of sad about that and
then she told me something she told me
that a tiger symbolizes success to her
okay she told me how they’re powerful
and strong and how even if they’re
fighting for prey and they don’t get it
they just move on and go to the next
thing wow I thought this was great so I
told her let’s talk about this at school
get your favorite stuffed animal tiger
bring it down and share this with people
so it’s not just about failures all the
time she said to me mom I want to bring
a real tiger to school of course what
else would a nine-year-old say but
within one week she found an animal
conservationist
someone who talks about endangered
animals and she had a 350 pound Siberian
tiger at her elementary school for
show-and-tell
success to a nine-year-old bringing a
tiger to school she’s an adult now and I
love that she uses a success story
something really positive in her life to
help her through hard times and she has
had hard times she has had lows and
failures but she uses these success
stories I love that it’s time we reboot
our minds we red corner put things in
honest true perspectives so that we too
can grow I say
reboot not remove somehow to society
today has decided that removing failures
from our children’s lives is what we
need know as a dancer I grew up going in
dance competitions let’s say there were
16 kids in a dance competition well I
would place somewhere between 1st and
16th place nowadays gold silver or
bronze every single child will get a
medal wasn’t enough they removed the
bronze medal the silver medal every
single one of my dancers who compete now
will get a gold medal that dancer who
comes one hour a week whenever they feel
like it and that dancer who trains and
gives up their birthday parties and
everything are getting the same medal
this is confusing for our children and
it is not okay but it’s not just in
dance my friend’s daughter was in a
soccer tournament last weekend she got a
trophy before the tournament began she
hadn’t even stepped on the field and
she’s 13 she’s not a little baby 13
years old she hadn’t even started she
too already received a trophy I have
talked to teachers and educators they’re
telling me they’re not even allowed to
read X or make mistakes on their
students works at school or put
deadlines on assignments this is not
okay it is setting up our children for
failure they are not seeing the real
picture they are not getting what
success and even failures do to help us
get to the next level this is
detrimental to our children nowadays
they’re living in this in-between world
you know what you’re right they’re not
getting those lows they’re not getting
those highs they are not understanding
how to cope with things but they are
also not understanding how wonderful it
is to succeed and work so hard for
something that you actually get it this
in-between world is not okay rock
bottom’s a solid foundation to build
ourselves up from sometimes doors are
gonna open and close all the time why
are we writing false Wikipedia pages in
our heads and believing it to be true
when your goal is to gain experience in
knowledge your perspective changes
failures no longer possible you want to
call it failure call it failure then
fail
fail and fail again because that’s how
we evolve as humans but do not stop the
process did you know that Mental Health
Commission of Canada says 63 percent of
our youth aged 15 to 25 are at risk for
mental health issues 63 percent they
studied children who had a false sense
of failure and success as children these
children are having trouble coping as
adults they can’t even make simple calls
to doctors or a dentist’s office for an
appointment
they can’t even open up bank accounts
these kids are young adults and they
can’t find their way not only that they
found these kids are so easily offended
with everything we say they’ve lived in
this world here and if it doesn’t fit in
there they’re offended and they’re
becoming socially unaware of themselves
others and the world around them some of
these kids can’t even leave their houses
anymore their anxiety and depression is
so high I want you right now to think of
a time in your life where you two had an
unhealthy perspective when it was
actually just a step to get where you
are today
were you actually trying to even get to
success or were you like me just trying
to avoid failure or was your
anticipation of failure actually greater
than the failure itself what if I told
you you actually never fail at all you
just don’t meet your own expectations of
what you believe the outcome is supposed
to be I’ll say it again when your goal
is to gain experience and knowledge your
perspective changes and you can no
longer fail thank you
[Applause] you
our perception of these lessons that
actually create your life failure we
have all done it simply sending the text
to the wrong person saying that silly
thing in that all-important interview
but what about success what does that
mean to you is it as simple as waking up
in the morning and making your bed or is
it more about winning a competition or
what about how much money you make
for the past 47 years I’ve been involved
in the dance industry in one way or
another I was born with a clubfoot and
my parents were told if they put me in
ballet it will turn up my foot naturally
and it did but by the time I was nine
years old I knew dance was more than
just a hobby for me it became my passion
I love to dance
every year I would take a ballet exam
and my friends all told me you get your
results in the mail and if you see a red
corner that meant you failed so every
year I would take my exam and I would
rip open that envelope and hold that
letter up I’m so excited when I would
see no red corner in my pre-professional
year my lastic ballet exam before I
became a dancer I opened that letter and
they’re staring in front of me was the
red corner it might have wellis just
said you fail in bright red writing what
did I do when I got that I did what any
young artist would do I told myself I
was worthless
I created this whole image of myself as
a failure in an embarrassment to
everyone 12 years I had trained five six
seven days a week and I was gonna give
it all up the next day I went to school
and you know what happened nothing
nothing happened I was the exact same me
as I was the day before I went to and to
school the day before and then I went to
my ballet class that night six out of
ten kids had failed their exam and my
ballet teacher told me that she failed
this exam when she was my age but that’s
not what I told myself I told myself I
was the only one this was super
confusing to me because I I was a
failure so what what was this so I
started writing I wrote down everything
I wrote down my emotions how people
treated me my expectations and I wrote
down success any piece of paper without
a red corner I realized two really
important things one I was actually
taking my egg ballet exam just not to
fail rather than to pass and to my idea
of what success and failure were we’re
totally wrong success feels amazing it’s
exhilarating and it gives you a sense of
pride failure embarrassing and shameful
well that’s what I told myself that’s
what I was taught to believe but I
didn’t understand how this worked we
make a lot of choices in life based on
love or fear I believe we make a lot of
choices in life on if we’re gonna
succeed or if we’re gonna fail it’s a
perception of these things that actually
create events in our life perception is
reality you believe it’s real it’s real
you think you’re happy you’re happy so
it’s our perception that was wrong
I started red cornering events in my
life putting things and healthy true
honest perspective there are so many
people in life who have accomplished
great things after failure Oprah Walt
Disney we’ve all heard of those I
remember the ballerina misty Copeland
she was only 13 years old when she
started dancing and she’s African
American which is how many African
American ballerinas have you seen not
many
she was so poor that her and her five
brothers and sisters would fight for a
space on a motel room floor when they
had no
to live yet she is the prima ballerina
right now in 2015 and still is today for
the American Ballet Theatre and she’s
the first african-american to do it and
she is also one of the 100 most
influential people of the world right
now people like Lady gaga
she lost her record deal after only
three months her first first record deal
and yet she’s a music icon of today the
developer of Instagram took 12 years to
get to that to market but we don’t hear
about that I make the rules I get to
decide what success and failure mean and
you do too so stop letting other people
do it and you decide you take control of
that when I did that I changed I started
putting my love of adventure creativity
and helping others ahead of failures or
successes I have got to teach my passion
of Dance for over 30 years and I’ve even
won dad’s Teacher of the Year four times
and not only that I’m an at-risk youth
worker here in our communities and I
volunteer helping kids who can’t find
their place addictions and all these
things they’re finding their places cuz
I get to do that through volunteering
how wonderful is that
an adventure I have traveled the world
following adventure
I have swam with sharks in South Africa
I have kayak glaciers in Alaska I even
entered a cooking competition against
real chefs and I won all because I put
my love at learning and growing ahead of
any success or failure or any fear of
failure I loved it I watched as this
grew and grew
I watched my students I was teaching but
over and over you know what my students
who failed the most we’re still
succeeding the most I remembered reading
this book called
art and fear in this books it was a
ceramics class in this ceramics class
they broke the surround his class into
two groups group a was gonna be marked
on how many pots they could make Group B
was told they’re gonna be marked
on one pot the best pot they could make
group a had to make 50 pots together day
44 a/b and so on they went right to work
making as many pots as they could group
B took their time slowly created this
one beautiful pot to hand in to be great
it just on the quality of that pot the
results surprised everyone every single
person in Group A also had the better
quality pots practice makes better pots
you could also say those who failed the
most succeed the most but I don’t know
there are so many talks about success
and failures all the time I remember
sitting my nine-year-old daughter down
and talking to her about what success
and failure meant
failures oh man she could come up with
failure after failure no problem but
when it came to success she had a hard
time talking about what success meant to
her I was kind of sad about that and
then she told me something she told me
that a tiger symbolizes success to her
okay she told me how they’re powerful
and strong and how even if they’re
fighting for prey and they don’t get it
they just move on and go to the next
thing wow I thought this was great so I
told her let’s talk about this at school
get your favorite stuffed animal tiger
bring it down and share this with people
so it’s not just about failures all the
time she said to me mom I want to bring
a real tiger to school of course what
else would a nine-year-old say but
within one week she found an animal
conservationist
someone who talks about endangered
animals and she had a 350 pound Siberian
tiger at her elementary school for
show-and-tell
success to a nine-year-old bringing a
tiger to school she’s an adult now and I
love that she uses a success story
something really positive in her life to
help her through hard times and she has
had hard times she has had lows and
failures but she uses these success
stories I love that it’s time we reboot
our minds we red corner put things in
honest true perspectives so that we too
can grow I say
reboot not remove somehow to society
today has decided that removing failures
from our children’s lives is what we
need know as a dancer I grew up going in
dance competitions let’s say there were
16 kids in a dance competition well I
would place somewhere between 1st and
16th place nowadays gold silver or
bronze every single child will get a
medal wasn’t enough they removed the
bronze medal the silver medal every
single one of my dancers who compete now
will get a gold medal that dancer who
comes one hour a week whenever they feel
like it and that dancer who trains and
gives up their birthday parties and
everything are getting the same medal
this is confusing for our children and
it is not okay but it’s not just in
dance my friend’s daughter was in a
soccer tournament last weekend she got a
trophy before the tournament began she
hadn’t even stepped on the field and
she’s 13 she’s not a little baby 13
years old she hadn’t even started she
too already received a trophy I have
talked to teachers and educators they’re
telling me they’re not even allowed to
read X or make mistakes on their
students works at school or put
deadlines on assignments this is not
okay it is setting up our children for
failure they are not seeing the real
picture they are not getting what
success and even failures do to help us
get to the next level this is
detrimental to our children nowadays
they’re living in this in-between world
you know what you’re right they’re not
getting those lows they’re not getting
those highs they are not understanding
how to cope with things but they are
also not understanding how wonderful it
is to succeed and work so hard for
something that you actually get it this
in-between world is not okay rock
bottom’s a solid foundation to build
ourselves up from sometimes doors are
gonna open and close all the time why
are we writing false Wikipedia pages in
our heads and believing it to be true
when your goal is to gain experience in
knowledge your perspective changes
failures no longer possible you want to
call it failure call it failure then
fail
fail and fail again because that’s how
we evolve as humans but do not stop the
process did you know that Mental Health
Commission of Canada says 63 percent of
our youth aged 15 to 25 are at risk for
mental health issues 63 percent they
studied children who had a false sense
of failure and success as children these
children are having trouble coping as
adults they can’t even make simple calls
to doctors or a dentist’s office for an
appointment
they can’t even open up bank accounts
these kids are young adults and they
can’t find their way not only that they
found these kids are so easily offended
with everything we say they’ve lived in
this world here and if it doesn’t fit in
there they’re offended and they’re
becoming socially unaware of themselves
others and the world around them some of
these kids can’t even leave their houses
anymore their anxiety and depression is
so high I want you right now to think of
a time in your life where you two had an
unhealthy perspective when it was
actually just a step to get where you
are today
were you actually trying to even get to
success or were you like me just trying
to avoid failure or was your
anticipation of failure actually greater
than the failure itself what if I told
you you actually never fail at all you
just don’t meet your own expectations of
what you believe the outcome is supposed
to be I’ll say it again when your goal
is to gain experience and knowledge your
perspective changes and you can no
longer fail thank you
[Applause] you
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