[Applause]
everyone in this room knows what an M&M
is right can I see a show of hands how
many of you like eating M&Ms or just
chocolate in general then you probably
remember the time when we were a kid and
we just want to have some chocolate
right so we go up to our parents beg
them for that extra piece of chocolate
but they just put their foot down and
say no did you say no shutting down our
chance at that extra piece of M&M we
were probably mad back then but to think
about it we can’t possibly eat M&Ms all
day right
so our parents saying no to us was a
good thing but only to a certain point
as we grow older hearing our parents
voices of saying no starts making us say
no our selves and we never realized that
the word know starts building a frame
around us and we don’t really know how
to get out think of it like this imagine
your life as an open book when we say no
over and over again it’s just like
reading the same paragraph over and over
again and we’re just stuck but tonight
I’m here to tell you a secret a secret
that will move you from this paragraph
to enter the next unpredictable chapters
in your life but first let me tell you a
story this is Larry before you graduate
high school he went to a university tour
at Stanford and his tour buddy was named
Sergey since the moment they met they
would argue about nearly everything
because they found each other obnoxious
for example they would argue about the
values to various approaches of urban
planning whatever that even means but
all they said was no until one day they
finally said yes let’s work together and
start a project in our dorm room had
they kept saying no to each other
this wouldn’t be present today and
juniors we wouldn’t have been able to
search up what to do in a TED talk
and get answers within two seconds had
they not say yes to the risk that
they’re willing to take
they wouldn’t have unlocked the door to
new beginnings and opportunities I know
it’s all just because of one word it may
not seem like a big word but I Elina
Chan will show you that this word can
help you paint your pictures this word
can help you write your chapters in your
open book some of you may already be
thinking but you can’t say yes to
everything like if someone asks you to
do something dangerous like hey you want
to jump off a cliff you’re obviously not
gonna go yes of course it’s do it up for
the challenge you’re not you’re gonna
say no which is what no is for but I am
talking about the reasonable things that
we say no to and make up are very
creative excuses and think about this it
might seem a little cliche but if we
keep saying no to what we’re
uncomfortable with how will we ever
become comfortable with it how will we
ever start flipping the pages in our
book and of course like I said before we
can’t possibly say yes to everything as
well which is why this topic is in black
and white there are times where no is a
better answer than yes but always
defaulting to no means that you’re
always closing your doors according to
an article from The Huffington Post they
say that whenever we say no we reject
more than the opportunity we reject the
fun it brings what it teaches us and the
possible gifts that could unfold if we
just allow the initial yes let me give
you some examples an example of
opportunity would be the Google story
fun it could be saying yes new
friendships and finding things to laugh
about with them and lessons which would
be this right here tonight I’m gonna be
honest I am really afraid of public
speaking and when I got the very
unexpected confirmation email that I
would be speaking here tonight I really
wanted to reply back no way I’m out so I
was just too scared but then I start
back and thought 1 my topic is about
saying yes
so it’d be really weird and ironic if I
said no second I thought about the
lessons that I could learn through this
experience to help me conquer my fears
of public speaking and trust me I’ve
learned a lot and gifts it could be
saying yes to an activity and finding
your passion through it any of these
scenarios can help you write your story
in your open book and think about this
when we’re making decisions the no
outcome is connected to regret somehow
and sometimes regret is the biggest risk
of all but why do we even care we care
because saying yes is all about
opportunities opportunities to conquer
your fears opportunities to get better
at something or maybe just opportunities
to start stepping out of your comfort
zone you can see that your comfort zone
is pretty small compared to all the area
that’s around you and sometimes we’re
just stuck there and we don’t know how
to get out but trust me once you start
stepping out of your comfort zone it
becomes easier to step out of it each
time according to a study conducted by
two psychologists they showed that when
we’re in our comfort zones we perform at
moderate levels of productivity but in
order to increase or maximize those
productivity levels the participants had
to be in a state of optimal anxiety or
in English productive discomfort which
means that we actually become more
productive when we’re uncomfortable in
addition a study conducted by a post
doctoral from UC Berkeley found that we
needed to be in a certain amount of
stress in order to achieve the state of
optimal alertness or achieve higher
levels of productivity but if we already
know about the positives of stepping out
of our comfort zones why is it that we
still can’t do it is it because we’re
too lazy is it because we’re
uncomfortable or is it because we don’t
have the courage to fail
take a woman and read this quote
Bill Gates is telling us that if you
succeed good but if you fail even better
it’s more important to learn from our
lessons of failure and if we said yes to
a doubtful idea and it didn’t go as we
expected it’s fine it’s good it’s
important that you gave yourself a
chance and it became an opportunity for
you to learn from that we never learned
to move out of our comfort zones until
we can overcome our fear of failure this
topic is really personal to me because
I’m gonna admit I have I found it hard
to say yes to many things like if a
friend asked me to go have lunch with
them if I was too lazy I didn’t feel
like it I would just say no and make up
some excuse and end up regretting those
moments but I never realized that for
almost all the times I got myself to say
yes I never ended up regretting any of
them in fact those moments became really
precious to me so let me ask you have
you heard of the saying life’s an open
book if you said yes it means you’ve
been listening to me since the very
beginning but if you said no it means
you haven’t been listening to me at all
and it also means that you’re already a
page behind those who sent yes because
our lives are basically an open book and
you write the story as you go if all
you’re doing is saying no to the
opportunity that your pen is giving you
to write then you’re just gonna be stuck
in your same boring comfort zone
rereading the same paragraph over and
over again while others who are saying
yes they’re actually writing paragraphs
they’re actually exploring the pages
finishing the chapters and ready to move
on I’d rather have my life be of
multiple chapters filled with ups and
downs then on life story as a one-page
summary with no content in it at all
because my life it’s not just an
autobiography it’s a mystery
thank you
you
[Applause]
everyone in this room knows what an M&M
is right can I see a show of hands how
many of you like eating M&Ms or just
chocolate in general then you probably
remember the time when we were a kid and
we just want to have some chocolate
right so we go up to our parents beg
them for that extra piece of chocolate
but they just put their foot down and
say no did you say no shutting down our
chance at that extra piece of M&M we
were probably mad back then but to think
about it we can’t possibly eat M&Ms all
day right
so our parents saying no to us was a
good thing but only to a certain point
as we grow older hearing our parents
voices of saying no starts making us say
no our selves and we never realized that
the word know starts building a frame
around us and we don’t really know how
to get out think of it like this imagine
your life as an open book when we say no
over and over again it’s just like
reading the same paragraph over and over
again and we’re just stuck but tonight
I’m here to tell you a secret a secret
that will move you from this paragraph
to enter the next unpredictable chapters
in your life but first let me tell you a
story this is Larry before you graduate
high school he went to a university tour
at Stanford and his tour buddy was named
Sergey since the moment they met they
would argue about nearly everything
because they found each other obnoxious
for example they would argue about the
values to various approaches of urban
planning whatever that even means but
all they said was no until one day they
finally said yes let’s work together and
start a project in our dorm room had
they kept saying no to each other
this wouldn’t be present today and
juniors we wouldn’t have been able to
search up what to do in a TED talk
and get answers within two seconds had
they not say yes to the risk that
they’re willing to take
they wouldn’t have unlocked the door to
new beginnings and opportunities I know
it’s all just because of one word it may
not seem like a big word but I Elina
Chan will show you that this word can
help you paint your pictures this word
can help you write your chapters in your
open book some of you may already be
thinking but you can’t say yes to
everything like if someone asks you to
do something dangerous like hey you want
to jump off a cliff you’re obviously not
gonna go yes of course it’s do it up for
the challenge you’re not you’re gonna
say no which is what no is for but I am
talking about the reasonable things that
we say no to and make up are very
creative excuses and think about this it
might seem a little cliche but if we
keep saying no to what we’re
uncomfortable with how will we ever
become comfortable with it how will we
ever start flipping the pages in our
book and of course like I said before we
can’t possibly say yes to everything as
well which is why this topic is in black
and white there are times where no is a
better answer than yes but always
defaulting to no means that you’re
always closing your doors according to
an article from The Huffington Post they
say that whenever we say no we reject
more than the opportunity we reject the
fun it brings what it teaches us and the
possible gifts that could unfold if we
just allow the initial yes let me give
you some examples an example of
opportunity would be the Google story
fun it could be saying yes new
friendships and finding things to laugh
about with them and lessons which would
be this right here tonight I’m gonna be
honest I am really afraid of public
speaking and when I got the very
unexpected confirmation email that I
would be speaking here tonight I really
wanted to reply back no way I’m out so I
was just too scared but then I start
back and thought 1 my topic is about
saying yes
so it’d be really weird and ironic if I
said no second I thought about the
lessons that I could learn through this
experience to help me conquer my fears
of public speaking and trust me I’ve
learned a lot and gifts it could be
saying yes to an activity and finding
your passion through it any of these
scenarios can help you write your story
in your open book and think about this
when we’re making decisions the no
outcome is connected to regret somehow
and sometimes regret is the biggest risk
of all but why do we even care we care
because saying yes is all about
opportunities opportunities to conquer
your fears opportunities to get better
at something or maybe just opportunities
to start stepping out of your comfort
zone you can see that your comfort zone
is pretty small compared to all the area
that’s around you and sometimes we’re
just stuck there and we don’t know how
to get out but trust me once you start
stepping out of your comfort zone it
becomes easier to step out of it each
time according to a study conducted by
two psychologists they showed that when
we’re in our comfort zones we perform at
moderate levels of productivity but in
order to increase or maximize those
productivity levels the participants had
to be in a state of optimal anxiety or
in English productive discomfort which
means that we actually become more
productive when we’re uncomfortable in
addition a study conducted by a post
doctoral from UC Berkeley found that we
needed to be in a certain amount of
stress in order to achieve the state of
optimal alertness or achieve higher
levels of productivity but if we already
know about the positives of stepping out
of our comfort zones why is it that we
still can’t do it is it because we’re
too lazy is it because we’re
uncomfortable or is it because we don’t
have the courage to fail
take a woman and read this quote
Bill Gates is telling us that if you
succeed good but if you fail even better
it’s more important to learn from our
lessons of failure and if we said yes to
a doubtful idea and it didn’t go as we
expected it’s fine it’s good it’s
important that you gave yourself a
chance and it became an opportunity for
you to learn from that we never learned
to move out of our comfort zones until
we can overcome our fear of failure this
topic is really personal to me because
I’m gonna admit I have I found it hard
to say yes to many things like if a
friend asked me to go have lunch with
them if I was too lazy I didn’t feel
like it I would just say no and make up
some excuse and end up regretting those
moments but I never realized that for
almost all the times I got myself to say
yes I never ended up regretting any of
them in fact those moments became really
precious to me so let me ask you have
you heard of the saying life’s an open
book if you said yes it means you’ve
been listening to me since the very
beginning but if you said no it means
you haven’t been listening to me at all
and it also means that you’re already a
page behind those who sent yes because
our lives are basically an open book and
you write the story as you go if all
you’re doing is saying no to the
opportunity that your pen is giving you
to write then you’re just gonna be stuck
in your same boring comfort zone
rereading the same paragraph over and
over again while others who are saying
yes they’re actually writing paragraphs
they’re actually exploring the pages
finishing the chapters and ready to move
on I’d rather have my life be of
multiple chapters filled with ups and
downs then on life story as a one-page
summary with no content in it at all
because my life it’s not just an
autobiography it’s a mystery
thank you
you
[Applause]
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