hi so I am going to cover free things
today I am going to tell you why
research says that this man will outlive
this man just by looking at his picture
I am going to share with you the most
humiliating moment in my career and I’ll
let you know why that has to do with
Jennifer Aniston yep I’m also going to
tell you what is better for you than
eating broccoli and kissing first I
should introduce myself Brooklyn Decker
model turned actor turned want to be
techy and about a year and a half ago I
became a mom it’s funny that I should be
here on this day February 11 2017
because it was this weekend seven years
ago when everything changed for me
professionally now I should backtrack a
little bit when I was 18 years old
I moved to New York to become a model
and Madeleine goes in trends right so I
was modeling at a time when having a
personality smiling really speaking in
general was not very encouraged I
remember one person telling me that I
shouldn’t smile because smiling didn’t
make me look cool and I wouldn’t get
hired if I didn’t look cool turns out
they were right didn’t work very much
but there was something different out
there the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit
Issue
now Sports Illustrated has been doing
for years something that magazines have
only recently caught on to they would do
profiles on the models in the magazine
which shockingly was groundbreaking
twelve years ago they wanted to know who
you were now si aside I was feeling very
frustrated in my career and it was very
clear at that time that my brand of self
was not in style all of my friends were
in college and I really miss studying so
my manager said to me why don’t you
study acting turns out I had a little
experience acting my first major role
was pink bunny in Winnie the Pooh
that’s rabbits niece but she didn’t know
that character existed did ya yeah well
I racked the heck out of that
non-speaking role and the reason I’m
telling you this is because it brings us
through that big important weekend seven
years ago so I found out that I had
gotten a cover of the highly coveted
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and
nabbed my first co-starring role in a
major feature film starring guess who
Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler I was
like why I am so talented my future is
gonna be huge
oh to have that 22 year old optimism
again unfortunately for me the reviews
for my performance came out one critic
said quote the cinematically curvaceous
though not particularly good at acting
Brooklyn Decker dot I don’t even
remember what the rest of the sentence
said because I sort of blacked out if
you can believe it I actually got hired
again and to that performance a critic
said quote Decker’s eyes toggled between
blank and very blank which was so
awesome to hear yeah yeah when my eyes
finally got some life back into them I
thought to myself well that’s really
weird I thought I was really good at
this how can this be the reviews were
downright mean and let’s be honest being
mean can be seen as cool I felt like a
loser and in those early years when I
was ready to throw in the towel I just
stopped and asked myself why are people
hiring me I mean this is Hollywood right
there are plenty of people blonder
prettier smarter better connected and as
far as the critics were concerned it
clearly wasn’t for my talent and the
reason I’m telling you all of this is
because I want you to know that what I’m
about to say is not a humble brag I am
NOT being self-deprecating for the sake
of being self-deprecating people who get
paid to watch movies and critique
performances said that I sucked
repeatedly so you might be wondering
like I was for so long why did this girl
get her big break well I’m about to tell
you I’m about to share the secret to my
success wait for it wait for it I’m nice
yep that’s it that’s all I am nice to
people yeah thanks no thank you
ain’t gettin in again thank you now some
of you might be thinking nice that’s
that’s it that’s her big secret to
success trust me I had a similar
reaction a friend of mine was talking to
me recently and she said I met one of
your co-workers they said you were so
nice and I just would have thought
they’re nice nice that’s it not funny
not hard-working not intelligent but
nice
I had a visceral reaction to the word
did you know that nice is actually
derived from the Latin word meaning
ignorant or unaware and I kind of step
with me I was like wait a second nice is
a seemingly decent word why would I have
such a negative reaction to it well I’ll
tell you why we are living in this
wonderfully progressive movement right
but with that has come the rejection of
nice I’ve read articles where the
subject is I will not teach my kids to
be nice I’ve read studies where the main
takeaway is nice guys finish last
I’ve listened to my feminist icons
telling me to not compromise to act like
a man in the workplace sorry guys guess
that means that you’re not nice
sorry I’ve listened to them telling me
that nice will be perceived as a
weakness and people will take advantage
of me and I can understand where they’re
coming from right because they’re just
advocating for independence for taking
your power back for taking ownership
over your contributions but nice has
become a four-letter word well you know
how Justin Timberlake brought sexy back
well I am bringing a nice back mm-hmm
but with a lot less swagger obviously I
want to give nice its power back now
nice is the deliberate practice of
charitable actions right through the
little things so opening a door for
someone or saying thank you at the
grocery store or saying yes when your
classmate or your parent needs help
these tiny little acts lead to a kinder
human being and they’ve been
scientifically proven to be contagious
both in yourself
and in those around you now you might be
asking me well how do you find the
balance between being nice and not
getting walked all over honestly that’s
something I’m still trying to figure out
myself but here’s the good news
science has our backs studies say that
once we witness an altruistic act right
so once we just see someone being nice
to someone else
both our parasympathetic nervous system
and our sympathetic nervous system are
activated in our bodies now what that
means is that we experience the
fight-or-flight response at the same
time that we experience an overwhelming
sense of ease and calm this is a highly
unusual combination okay and the result
is that people felt the need to pay it
forward think about that your body and
your mind are functioning at their
highest level when you are being nice
it’s the same physiological response we
get from things like sex and parenting
and trust me as a new mom it is so much
easier to be nice than to be a parent
now the theory of indirect reciprocity
sounds really fancy but it’s super-easy
it’s Jimmy being nice to Sally so if
Sally is nice to Susie what it says is
that if you are on the receiving end of
kindness you then want to be nice
yourself now think about that in the
workplace
right let’s say you have a boss who
takes you for granted or let’s just say
there’s a really really really annoying
person who just cut you in line if you
treat them nicely you subliminally
motivate them to treat you nicely now I
think it’s really important to note here
that being nice doesn’t mean squashing
one’s own feelings of anger it doesn’t
mean that you need to be disingenuous it
doesn’t mean you need to avoid a
conflict to be nice sometimes one of the
nicest things you can do is to approach
a situation or a conflict head-on and
handle it with kindness with simplicity
with honesty not only are you racking up
the good karma but you’re actually
changing your environment into a more
positive one now this brings me back to
the reason that I keep getting hired
if being nice is contagious and if being
nice boosts morale in the workplace why
would you not want to hire nice people
studies show the CEOs who lead with
niceness over competence actually gain
the trust of their employees more easily
and they have a higher retention rate so
think about that employees who have nice
bosses they want to stick around what
that tells us is that niceness over
competence actually reign supreme
which is why I keep getting hired even
though my eyes toggle from blank to very
blank yep now let’s say you’re not ready
for this yet so you’re like oh nice not
really feeling that that’s cool you go
out with your bad self but I encourage
you to do one thing one small little
thing smile more yep
smiling can actually add years to your
life there was a study where they wanted
to see if people who smiled on baseball
cards versus those who didn’t actually
had a longer life what they found is
that those who smiled lived on average 7
years longer than those who didn’t seven
years think about that now I was
thinking when I read the study wait a
second are people smiling because
they’re healthier they live a
stress-free life therefore they live
longer
maybe but here’s the kicker smiling can
be learned and practiced yep so if you
are regularly sporting a frown you can
actually practice smiling in the mirror
and you will add time to your life now
who tends to smile more on average and
who tends to live a longer healthier
life women yeah
so feminists unite the next time a man
will walking down the street you tells
you to smile go for it you’ll see who
gets the last laugh
now I feel like we’re living in a time
on the heels of that when snark and
cynicism reign supreme and oh do I love
myself some snark but I can’t help it to
feel that it spur me
every aspect of our culture parents are
being taught that they shouldn’t tell
their kids to be nice kids are being
taught that if you’re nice it can be
perceived as weak or even worse fake
we’re being told to resist to stand up
to rise up and while all of this is
significant and especially right now
hugely hugely important we can’t forget
that which makes us kind and nice and
compassionate I know that I wouldn’t be
here today still working with a career
that I am proud of I can tell you from
personal experience that being nice will
cause people to take advantage of you
because they’ll think that they can
control you that you’re this malleable
thing but listen to this being nice
putting one’s own needs aside to
accommodate someone else’s that takes
strength that takes patience that gives
you a quiet lasting power and maybe even
a longer life we live in a world where
we go into a grocery store or coffee
shop
and we’re checking Instagram we’re
looking at what our friends are doing
we’re looking at what our adversaries
are doing we go to pay for the thing at
the checkout thing with our phone and we
get our coffee we post a picture we
start our day well what happened to the
person who made your coffee did you even
notice they were there I challenge you
to connect with that person I encourage
you to smile in a world when we need it
most being nice is the simplest most
surface-level action one can take to
change yourself to help each other and
hopefully to change the world
[Applause]
today I am going to tell you why
research says that this man will outlive
this man just by looking at his picture
I am going to share with you the most
humiliating moment in my career and I’ll
let you know why that has to do with
Jennifer Aniston yep I’m also going to
tell you what is better for you than
eating broccoli and kissing first I
should introduce myself Brooklyn Decker
model turned actor turned want to be
techy and about a year and a half ago I
became a mom it’s funny that I should be
here on this day February 11 2017
because it was this weekend seven years
ago when everything changed for me
professionally now I should backtrack a
little bit when I was 18 years old
I moved to New York to become a model
and Madeleine goes in trends right so I
was modeling at a time when having a
personality smiling really speaking in
general was not very encouraged I
remember one person telling me that I
shouldn’t smile because smiling didn’t
make me look cool and I wouldn’t get
hired if I didn’t look cool turns out
they were right didn’t work very much
but there was something different out
there the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit
Issue
now Sports Illustrated has been doing
for years something that magazines have
only recently caught on to they would do
profiles on the models in the magazine
which shockingly was groundbreaking
twelve years ago they wanted to know who
you were now si aside I was feeling very
frustrated in my career and it was very
clear at that time that my brand of self
was not in style all of my friends were
in college and I really miss studying so
my manager said to me why don’t you
study acting turns out I had a little
experience acting my first major role
was pink bunny in Winnie the Pooh
that’s rabbits niece but she didn’t know
that character existed did ya yeah well
I racked the heck out of that
non-speaking role and the reason I’m
telling you this is because it brings us
through that big important weekend seven
years ago so I found out that I had
gotten a cover of the highly coveted
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and
nabbed my first co-starring role in a
major feature film starring guess who
Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler I was
like why I am so talented my future is
gonna be huge
oh to have that 22 year old optimism
again unfortunately for me the reviews
for my performance came out one critic
said quote the cinematically curvaceous
though not particularly good at acting
Brooklyn Decker dot I don’t even
remember what the rest of the sentence
said because I sort of blacked out if
you can believe it I actually got hired
again and to that performance a critic
said quote Decker’s eyes toggled between
blank and very blank which was so
awesome to hear yeah yeah when my eyes
finally got some life back into them I
thought to myself well that’s really
weird I thought I was really good at
this how can this be the reviews were
downright mean and let’s be honest being
mean can be seen as cool I felt like a
loser and in those early years when I
was ready to throw in the towel I just
stopped and asked myself why are people
hiring me I mean this is Hollywood right
there are plenty of people blonder
prettier smarter better connected and as
far as the critics were concerned it
clearly wasn’t for my talent and the
reason I’m telling you all of this is
because I want you to know that what I’m
about to say is not a humble brag I am
NOT being self-deprecating for the sake
of being self-deprecating people who get
paid to watch movies and critique
performances said that I sucked
repeatedly so you might be wondering
like I was for so long why did this girl
get her big break well I’m about to tell
you I’m about to share the secret to my
success wait for it wait for it I’m nice
yep that’s it that’s all I am nice to
people yeah thanks no thank you
ain’t gettin in again thank you now some
of you might be thinking nice that’s
that’s it that’s her big secret to
success trust me I had a similar
reaction a friend of mine was talking to
me recently and she said I met one of
your co-workers they said you were so
nice and I just would have thought
they’re nice nice that’s it not funny
not hard-working not intelligent but
nice
I had a visceral reaction to the word
did you know that nice is actually
derived from the Latin word meaning
ignorant or unaware and I kind of step
with me I was like wait a second nice is
a seemingly decent word why would I have
such a negative reaction to it well I’ll
tell you why we are living in this
wonderfully progressive movement right
but with that has come the rejection of
nice I’ve read articles where the
subject is I will not teach my kids to
be nice I’ve read studies where the main
takeaway is nice guys finish last
I’ve listened to my feminist icons
telling me to not compromise to act like
a man in the workplace sorry guys guess
that means that you’re not nice
sorry I’ve listened to them telling me
that nice will be perceived as a
weakness and people will take advantage
of me and I can understand where they’re
coming from right because they’re just
advocating for independence for taking
your power back for taking ownership
over your contributions but nice has
become a four-letter word well you know
how Justin Timberlake brought sexy back
well I am bringing a nice back mm-hmm
but with a lot less swagger obviously I
want to give nice its power back now
nice is the deliberate practice of
charitable actions right through the
little things so opening a door for
someone or saying thank you at the
grocery store or saying yes when your
classmate or your parent needs help
these tiny little acts lead to a kinder
human being and they’ve been
scientifically proven to be contagious
both in yourself
and in those around you now you might be
asking me well how do you find the
balance between being nice and not
getting walked all over honestly that’s
something I’m still trying to figure out
myself but here’s the good news
science has our backs studies say that
once we witness an altruistic act right
so once we just see someone being nice
to someone else
both our parasympathetic nervous system
and our sympathetic nervous system are
activated in our bodies now what that
means is that we experience the
fight-or-flight response at the same
time that we experience an overwhelming
sense of ease and calm this is a highly
unusual combination okay and the result
is that people felt the need to pay it
forward think about that your body and
your mind are functioning at their
highest level when you are being nice
it’s the same physiological response we
get from things like sex and parenting
and trust me as a new mom it is so much
easier to be nice than to be a parent
now the theory of indirect reciprocity
sounds really fancy but it’s super-easy
it’s Jimmy being nice to Sally so if
Sally is nice to Susie what it says is
that if you are on the receiving end of
kindness you then want to be nice
yourself now think about that in the
workplace
right let’s say you have a boss who
takes you for granted or let’s just say
there’s a really really really annoying
person who just cut you in line if you
treat them nicely you subliminally
motivate them to treat you nicely now I
think it’s really important to note here
that being nice doesn’t mean squashing
one’s own feelings of anger it doesn’t
mean that you need to be disingenuous it
doesn’t mean you need to avoid a
conflict to be nice sometimes one of the
nicest things you can do is to approach
a situation or a conflict head-on and
handle it with kindness with simplicity
with honesty not only are you racking up
the good karma but you’re actually
changing your environment into a more
positive one now this brings me back to
the reason that I keep getting hired
if being nice is contagious and if being
nice boosts morale in the workplace why
would you not want to hire nice people
studies show the CEOs who lead with
niceness over competence actually gain
the trust of their employees more easily
and they have a higher retention rate so
think about that employees who have nice
bosses they want to stick around what
that tells us is that niceness over
competence actually reign supreme
which is why I keep getting hired even
though my eyes toggle from blank to very
blank yep now let’s say you’re not ready
for this yet so you’re like oh nice not
really feeling that that’s cool you go
out with your bad self but I encourage
you to do one thing one small little
thing smile more yep
smiling can actually add years to your
life there was a study where they wanted
to see if people who smiled on baseball
cards versus those who didn’t actually
had a longer life what they found is
that those who smiled lived on average 7
years longer than those who didn’t seven
years think about that now I was
thinking when I read the study wait a
second are people smiling because
they’re healthier they live a
stress-free life therefore they live
longer
maybe but here’s the kicker smiling can
be learned and practiced yep so if you
are regularly sporting a frown you can
actually practice smiling in the mirror
and you will add time to your life now
who tends to smile more on average and
who tends to live a longer healthier
life women yeah
so feminists unite the next time a man
will walking down the street you tells
you to smile go for it you’ll see who
gets the last laugh
now I feel like we’re living in a time
on the heels of that when snark and
cynicism reign supreme and oh do I love
myself some snark but I can’t help it to
feel that it spur me
every aspect of our culture parents are
being taught that they shouldn’t tell
their kids to be nice kids are being
taught that if you’re nice it can be
perceived as weak or even worse fake
we’re being told to resist to stand up
to rise up and while all of this is
significant and especially right now
hugely hugely important we can’t forget
that which makes us kind and nice and
compassionate I know that I wouldn’t be
here today still working with a career
that I am proud of I can tell you from
personal experience that being nice will
cause people to take advantage of you
because they’ll think that they can
control you that you’re this malleable
thing but listen to this being nice
putting one’s own needs aside to
accommodate someone else’s that takes
strength that takes patience that gives
you a quiet lasting power and maybe even
a longer life we live in a world where
we go into a grocery store or coffee
shop
and we’re checking Instagram we’re
looking at what our friends are doing
we’re looking at what our adversaries
are doing we go to pay for the thing at
the checkout thing with our phone and we
get our coffee we post a picture we
start our day well what happened to the
person who made your coffee did you even
notice they were there I challenge you
to connect with that person I encourage
you to smile in a world when we need it
most being nice is the simplest most
surface-level action one can take to
change yourself to help each other and
hopefully to change the world
[Applause]
Please follow and like us: