let me tell you something about my
family I come from a very fun-loving
family have this lovely mother who is I
stiffly this can’t be but super powerful
on the inside but wouldn’t hurt a fly
and I have a father who’s extremely
dynamic but very very funny and he has
these little jokes that he cracks and I
want to share with you one that he did
and how it transcended so I had the
opportunity to study in America in
college and I had a lot of friends come
visit but one of my buddies my roommates
from college very close friend of mine
came to visit India if I’m home and
after but he came to visit and this was
his first time leaving the country he
had never left the u.s. before white guy
had come to India for the first time
came in and I remember it was dinnertime
but my father came home from office my
father came home were sitting on the
dining table and my as I said he’s a
funny man so he came in and he said
can’t don’t worry I’ll make the food
today I’ve cooked everything I hope you
like it because if you don’t my wife
beats me and this one of those things
will be be my fear well I do catch all
of us a laughing were you know having
airBaltic my friend did say I’m gonna go
back to my room at about midnight he
walks in knocks gently comes in and he
says yes you know that your father is
going through please let me go bullshit
chokes don’t answer you know once I was
yet shopping for logistics conference in
China and I was there in India we have
this culture where we touch so much free
but we meet someone out of respect so I
have I grew up with that so I was at
China this man was an incredible
businessman elderly fellow must be 70 75
he came in and instinctively I bowed
down to touch his feet I bowed down if
he takes a karate move he just straight
he thought I was going for his feet he
wanted to hear
me at this point that we had absolutely
no connect gestures don’t transcend have
you guys ever wondered why this room is
filled with us you could be not monk
you’re monkeys but not lions or not
cheetahs or not elephants
what are they ball that we did and by
the way for a lot of you we did not
evolve from monkeys we evolved from a
type of monkey monkeys have common
ancestry with us but the
Australopithecus and then the Australia
habilis the Australia the the the and
the talus is that the Homo sapiens you
know we evolved and no other species did
I always wonder why the hell was it that
we evolved that the answer to this
question is we evolved as human beings
only and only because of one difference
that we have that no one else did and
that what difference was human
connection now what difference was our
ability to cooperate reciprocate and
connect with each other that led to our
so since that was the one thing that led
us to evolve one more slide please
since that was the one thing that led us
to evolve I wonder what would happen to
the world now because here’s my big fat
plate for today my claim is that all of
us as human beings are evolved because
of human connection and we are getting
worse at it in the new age of technology
etc that we’re growing the next
generation is not going to be able to
connect as we do it’s not going to be
able to influence as we do what is it
that we can do to change the course of
the future and I want to share with you
a few things that have really affected
me now here’s the story that I haven’t
shared with many so will come as a
surprise but anyways the most excited I
have ever been in my life was when I had
the opportunity to go study abroad for
the first time ever at the University of
California and Los Angeles so I got him
to call it and I was super excited but
the best moment of my life was when I
boarded that plane from off the butt to
Dubai and the Bible Los Angeles I was so
happy I mean I was going to go live my
dream I was going to go get an education
that no one else that people could only
dream off and I was just all all the
things I had seen heard about college
they were all going to come to life and
super excited I get that we reach Los
Angeles in the American education system
is super it’s super because they really
ensure that all of us you know get to
mingle if we get to know each other so
the first three days is something called
the freshman orientation and in that
freshman orientation they have all these
structured programs where we get to
interact talk you know mingle with each
other so the first day during the day
was unplanned
they made us sit around tables away the
state they made us play games and I
thought I was doing well I connected
until about 8:00 p.m. they opened out
the entire forum they said hey guys open
party open party
it should have been fun and the
instructors and the volunteers everyone
left it was just a bunch of freshmen
first year college students first day of
their lives
and UCLA we were left in this
with dark dark lights of music and
allowed to party and I thought oh my god
I’ve already made so many friends I’ve
gotta go out and connect so I started to
go and try to talk to people I tried
no connect I tried being funny
no connect I tried to be smart no
connect I tried telling stories no
connect there was nothing that I could
do which would make someone have a long
conversation with me and I had
absolutely no way to connect with anyone
in that hall and I felt like absolute
shit at about 2:00 a.m. in the morning I
found myself in the bathroom of that
Club area that we were in in tears and I
was shattered because not just was every
dream of mine shattered I was shattered
because I was worthless
I was so worthless that not one person
in that room wanted to have a
conversation with me and it was not just
as big as me not being good enough at
something I do I just wasn’t good enough
for anyone today not many years since I
got invited around the world to speak
about building human connection and
networking hell I run an organization
that strives on building connections and
networking and hence doing business and
growing ourselves and that shift that
happen in my life is a shift that
happened because of something that I
think I’ve mastered and I was able to
master that and I want to share it with
us because nothing is more important
than the value of human connection when
I put it in thought when I think about
how I came about this journey it
happened because I was watching again in
the u.s. now I have to drive for the
first time in my life and it was a crazy
story I’m not going to tell you all of
it before the first time I’m driving a
1986 Corolla and I’m supposed to go from
Los Angeles to Las Vegas and the guys
who were supposed to be driving had one
too many and they could have drive
anymore I was the only one no driver’s
license nothing I sit on the driver’s
seat and I had to drive so I started
driving on the streets no problem I’ve
driven in India and then I got on the
freeway I get on the freeway and about
20 seconds in I almost had a panic
attack I don’t
what the hell was going on it was too
fast for me and pulled over on the
shoulder i sat there and I looked to my
left and I looked at the cars going I
looked and I looked and I looked all I
did was I observed I observed have they
show their indicator observe how they
take over someone I observe the speed
they’re going at when they break when
they don’t and about five minutes in I
was on the road and I was driving and I
made plus Los Angeles Las Vegas in under
three and a half hours that’s like 95
kilometers and have a very very illegal
but was incredible because the one thing
that I learned to do was observe and
hence I came up with this thing that I
call the Holy Trinity and I want to
share that with you the Holy Trinity
looks like this keep going keep going
okay the Holy Trinity looks like this
you observe you find common ground and
you adapt and let me tell you about all
three of these things the first one was
observed but I’ve shared with you what
observation man but I want to tell you I
love it I want to share a story about
finding common ground because this one
really got me and I forget you too so
once I had the opportunity so while I
was I was part of the startup and I was
looking for funds one of my friends said
her husband had just received six
thousand crores for a land deal that he
had closed in Gujarat and he lives in
the UK he’s coming down after years to
India and he would like to discuss
certain investment opportunities now six
thousand is a billion dollars that’s a
lot of money said oh my god whatever
happens I have to go so I happened to go
meet him in his apartment and I was
wearing a suit because I just come out
of a B and I’m meeting one of the things
that I’m wearing a suit I Drive a German
car I didn’t think much of it I go Park
in his log and I go into his living room
I go inside and in my head I had this
image of a British person sitting there
British Indian right but I go in and
there’s a man-eating pond wearing a
white kurta which is a long Indian thing
wearing that long white coat I’m just
sitting there and I walked in and here’s
the first thing he told me he said the
British left put too much holy shit this
is not how I expected to start a six
thousand crore deal and I’m sitting
there he says why do you drive that car
this is why don’t you use two
and all these Indian maids why are you
wearing a suit why the hell do you have
a phone that’s not made here why my
money yep
I mean he hated me and he kept putting
me down the whole time and I tried to
argue you know I’m usually very good
with people at this time so I’m trying
to tell him that he looked I you know I
want to make India great that’s why
we’re starting this company and all
kinds of stuff for no connect and I
don’t know what happened
but for some reason the conversation
came to me saying well my family is from
poor wonder which is in goodra
and he said oh really my family’s from
for wonder – I was born there that’s her
captive
he said yeah and I could not tell you
why I said it but I said one of my
oldest memories from childhood is this
guy on the streets who used to pop a
goatee in a bottle that marble goes in
and the soda comes out and he’d make a
masala soda
he said Raju you know Raju I don’t know
Raju I said yeah I got you my god raju
is such a great guy he makes the best
booty soda in the world and as soon as
he spoke about Raju there’s a smile on
his face twinkle in his eyes puts his
arm around my shoulder tells his wife –
oh shit we’ve been friends ever since
because sometimes all we need to find is
common ground
one little piece of information will
take you through miles and mild yourself
you never know
and the third lesson was a lesson that I
call a dad but that is actually from MLP
if some of you know NLP and I love it is
matching and mirroring but let me talk
to you about adaption so I had the
opportunity to be in Europe for the past
50 days of 2018 and I was there for
about 40 days and I visited Ukraine and
if you go to Ukraine as an Indian
citizen you get a visa on arrival but
there’s a process you need to fill out a
form and the form has to be printed and
ready with you
unfortunately someone messed up on my
team and I did not have the visa
application but I thought curling it
along now if you bring to Ukraine
Ukraine is a lot like our country huh a
lot of things can happen but I did not
expect this so I go to Ukraine our land
and care when I get out of the
come inside I remember crossing there’s
a small smoking room on the right it
goes straight there’s a sign that says
visa on arrival said great I walk in
there and there’s a Chinese man and his
wife standing there and there’s it only
two so I went up I said how long have
you been waving he said dude we’ve been
here for about 10 15 minutes I said okay
great I’ll wait we waited and no one
showed up so but plenty minutes in I see
the Chinese man go speak to one of the
security guards and the security guards
points in the direction of a door that
says consular services so Chinese man’s
walking so I said walking behind him I
didn’t want to be left out so what
behind them and I see him open the door
and peek his head in this room that says
consular services and he fixes and as
soon as he picks his head in all I hear
is get out I said oh my god what the
hell does happens right turn around and
I see the Chinese man running behind me
and he’s red in the face he comes to me
the Chinese man said that guy’s crazy
and there’s a guy in a red shirt and
blue jeans it walks out of that door
with a gun in his hand and says who you
call crazy who me crazy I go crazy you
were crazy you sleep an airport tonight
all of you sleep an airport that he’ll
just happen and he was shot the guys
with the security team they’re also just
standing there they don’t know what to
say they look at us and say crazy we
can’t do anything different apartment I
didn’t want to sleep in Ukraine’s
airport for I don’t know how many days
without a visa so I walk out and I’m
still taking the same when I see the guy
in the red come out from the corner of
my eye I see him walk around and I saw
that he’s going through the smoking-room
said oh great so I start following him
and while he’s going I like cut forward
and I go inside the room first and why
he enters I put my hand up and I say hey
now when you say hey to someone what’s
gonna happen I expected him to say here
but he just looks around and he says you
say hey to me I said yeah
so why you don’t know me I said and
immediately I knew I needed to adapt so
I look at him and I said yeah I don’t
know you but you look like a man who can
say hi to a stranger and his dog and he
suddenly takes a step back and he nods
and he points to the seat so I said I
sit down I put my phone on the seat and
he picks up the phone and starts to play
with my phone he’s trying to open it
with his eyes and do
the stuff takes out the cover I thought
I’m done
this guy’s gonna take my phone now put
my hand out and he puts my phone back in
my hand and I said look these are my
documents I know it’s a little screwed
up can he help me
he said not even God can help you but I
can help you if you give me a hundred
bucks $100 and I looked at him I said
well look I’ll give you $100 but I will
not give you a single piece of document
you have to stamp it and no one can do
that so he like looks at me was this
smile and he says okay you come so I go
to the visa on arrival counter I go sit
stand there and he the Chinese man
standing there and he says China out
India in okay I go in and I say so he
says well you know I used to live in
Delhi I said oh great and I was
connecting with this guy says really a
born and he said I was born and Delhi
said you were born and Delhi had a very
very white man what are you doing in
Delhi and he looked at me and he said
why I can’t be from Delhi I said no it’s
a great place you you kind of look
Indian you know a little bit he doesn’t
and he says well my family were
missionaries in Delhi in India I said oh
you know I also follow the you know as
Betty would say I followed the light of
God and you know I love it and God is
amazing he says no no I think you don’t
understand my English they were
mercenaries in Delhi they used to kill
people for a living and immediately I
say well you know and it’s sometimes you
gotta kill people many of you killing
people is what there is and we connect
on this point and the man you will not
believe it the man made me step down on
his computer wrote down my Sh
took the print out took his digital
camera took my photo put it in prints it
out goes inside comes back out with my
passport it says that’ll be one hundred
and three dollars for the visa which was
the cost and I had $100 bills so I knew
that other 100 wasn’t coming back I gave
him two hundred lo and behold and I
couldn’t make this up if I wanted to
about three minutes later he comes back
with my passport I received and he
returns 97 dollars to me gives me a hug
and says if you’re ever back at the
airport
love to connect now what happened here
was all we needed to do was match
someone’s personality mirror what he was
doing adapt with who you are because
these are things I want to share with
you in terms of what can happen in the
law a larger scope of getting to know
people of forming a real connection but
while I tell you this I do want to tell
you something that I strongly believe in
I strongly believe that it isn’t about
you just you just learning these things
and going out there and using them but I
call I call this the WTF cycle and if
you master the WTF cycle everything will
fall in place because guys this world
isn’t just about learning how to connect
but is about becoming someone who people
want to connect with and I alleged you
first to be your own you back in the
middle because people don’t like people
who want to be someone else people like
people who are like that become you and
we are like each other so the first step
is the W in the WTF which is working on
yourself welcome yourself build yourself
make yourself into the man that people
want to connect with the woman that
people want to sit next to will work out
I mean look at all the people that have
spoken go spend some time on your body
feed your mind read some books feed your
body with the right kind of food look
the way you want to look look the way
you think you want to meet people to
look become that person second and the
most important to me is tell stories and
work on your stories I know you you’re
sitting here thinking gosh you have some
great stories how did this guy come up
with these stories but I’m telling you
each one of you sitting here each one of
you listening has stories beyond measure
you have some extraordinary stories in
your life the only thing is you don’t
know you have these stories and you
never remember them I urge you to please
just here’s a tip that I use open
Evernote there’s an app called Evernote
or notes on your phone start typing your
stories put them there and remember them
and go back and remember them and here’s
an add-on sometimes when you’re having a
horrible time when you’re having the
worst day of your life
an airport you’re stuck in the middle of
a very very bad day catch yourself and
tell yourself you’re in the middle of a
story three months down the line or six
months down the line you’re gonna be
sharing this story with someone and
suddenly your perception on life will
change instead of fear and become
curiosity because it’s just a story
remember your stories tell them and
master them will get you connect like
never before and finally follow through
we have the opportunity to really build
our lives resume resume if you made a
commitment follow through with it follow
through people like authenticity genuine
andyb that and finally I want to end by
saying that I meet some great people in
the world who are who are so and grow so
engrossed and being they have everything
they want in the world they have all the
money they have all the riches but
they’re still bored thoroughly bored
would love and I study them and I look
at them and here’s what I found I found
that they’re still bored because a lot
of us spent too much time of our lives
being interesting imagine how great
would this world be if we spent just a
little bit of time being interested
thank you [Applause]
family I come from a very fun-loving
family have this lovely mother who is I
stiffly this can’t be but super powerful
on the inside but wouldn’t hurt a fly
and I have a father who’s extremely
dynamic but very very funny and he has
these little jokes that he cracks and I
want to share with you one that he did
and how it transcended so I had the
opportunity to study in America in
college and I had a lot of friends come
visit but one of my buddies my roommates
from college very close friend of mine
came to visit India if I’m home and
after but he came to visit and this was
his first time leaving the country he
had never left the u.s. before white guy
had come to India for the first time
came in and I remember it was dinnertime
but my father came home from office my
father came home were sitting on the
dining table and my as I said he’s a
funny man so he came in and he said
can’t don’t worry I’ll make the food
today I’ve cooked everything I hope you
like it because if you don’t my wife
beats me and this one of those things
will be be my fear well I do catch all
of us a laughing were you know having
airBaltic my friend did say I’m gonna go
back to my room at about midnight he
walks in knocks gently comes in and he
says yes you know that your father is
going through please let me go bullshit
chokes don’t answer you know once I was
yet shopping for logistics conference in
China and I was there in India we have
this culture where we touch so much free
but we meet someone out of respect so I
have I grew up with that so I was at
China this man was an incredible
businessman elderly fellow must be 70 75
he came in and instinctively I bowed
down to touch his feet I bowed down if
he takes a karate move he just straight
he thought I was going for his feet he
wanted to hear
me at this point that we had absolutely
no connect gestures don’t transcend have
you guys ever wondered why this room is
filled with us you could be not monk
you’re monkeys but not lions or not
cheetahs or not elephants
what are they ball that we did and by
the way for a lot of you we did not
evolve from monkeys we evolved from a
type of monkey monkeys have common
ancestry with us but the
Australopithecus and then the Australia
habilis the Australia the the the and
the talus is that the Homo sapiens you
know we evolved and no other species did
I always wonder why the hell was it that
we evolved that the answer to this
question is we evolved as human beings
only and only because of one difference
that we have that no one else did and
that what difference was human
connection now what difference was our
ability to cooperate reciprocate and
connect with each other that led to our
so since that was the one thing that led
us to evolve one more slide please
since that was the one thing that led us
to evolve I wonder what would happen to
the world now because here’s my big fat
plate for today my claim is that all of
us as human beings are evolved because
of human connection and we are getting
worse at it in the new age of technology
etc that we’re growing the next
generation is not going to be able to
connect as we do it’s not going to be
able to influence as we do what is it
that we can do to change the course of
the future and I want to share with you
a few things that have really affected
me now here’s the story that I haven’t
shared with many so will come as a
surprise but anyways the most excited I
have ever been in my life was when I had
the opportunity to go study abroad for
the first time ever at the University of
California and Los Angeles so I got him
to call it and I was super excited but
the best moment of my life was when I
boarded that plane from off the butt to
Dubai and the Bible Los Angeles I was so
happy I mean I was going to go live my
dream I was going to go get an education
that no one else that people could only
dream off and I was just all all the
things I had seen heard about college
they were all going to come to life and
super excited I get that we reach Los
Angeles in the American education system
is super it’s super because they really
ensure that all of us you know get to
mingle if we get to know each other so
the first three days is something called
the freshman orientation and in that
freshman orientation they have all these
structured programs where we get to
interact talk you know mingle with each
other so the first day during the day
was unplanned
they made us sit around tables away the
state they made us play games and I
thought I was doing well I connected
until about 8:00 p.m. they opened out
the entire forum they said hey guys open
party open party
it should have been fun and the
instructors and the volunteers everyone
left it was just a bunch of freshmen
first year college students first day of
their lives
and UCLA we were left in this
with dark dark lights of music and
allowed to party and I thought oh my god
I’ve already made so many friends I’ve
gotta go out and connect so I started to
go and try to talk to people I tried
no connect I tried being funny
no connect I tried to be smart no
connect I tried telling stories no
connect there was nothing that I could
do which would make someone have a long
conversation with me and I had
absolutely no way to connect with anyone
in that hall and I felt like absolute
shit at about 2:00 a.m. in the morning I
found myself in the bathroom of that
Club area that we were in in tears and I
was shattered because not just was every
dream of mine shattered I was shattered
because I was worthless
I was so worthless that not one person
in that room wanted to have a
conversation with me and it was not just
as big as me not being good enough at
something I do I just wasn’t good enough
for anyone today not many years since I
got invited around the world to speak
about building human connection and
networking hell I run an organization
that strives on building connections and
networking and hence doing business and
growing ourselves and that shift that
happen in my life is a shift that
happened because of something that I
think I’ve mastered and I was able to
master that and I want to share it with
us because nothing is more important
than the value of human connection when
I put it in thought when I think about
how I came about this journey it
happened because I was watching again in
the u.s. now I have to drive for the
first time in my life and it was a crazy
story I’m not going to tell you all of
it before the first time I’m driving a
1986 Corolla and I’m supposed to go from
Los Angeles to Las Vegas and the guys
who were supposed to be driving had one
too many and they could have drive
anymore I was the only one no driver’s
license nothing I sit on the driver’s
seat and I had to drive so I started
driving on the streets no problem I’ve
driven in India and then I got on the
freeway I get on the freeway and about
20 seconds in I almost had a panic
attack I don’t
what the hell was going on it was too
fast for me and pulled over on the
shoulder i sat there and I looked to my
left and I looked at the cars going I
looked and I looked and I looked all I
did was I observed I observed have they
show their indicator observe how they
take over someone I observe the speed
they’re going at when they break when
they don’t and about five minutes in I
was on the road and I was driving and I
made plus Los Angeles Las Vegas in under
three and a half hours that’s like 95
kilometers and have a very very illegal
but was incredible because the one thing
that I learned to do was observe and
hence I came up with this thing that I
call the Holy Trinity and I want to
share that with you the Holy Trinity
looks like this keep going keep going
okay the Holy Trinity looks like this
you observe you find common ground and
you adapt and let me tell you about all
three of these things the first one was
observed but I’ve shared with you what
observation man but I want to tell you I
love it I want to share a story about
finding common ground because this one
really got me and I forget you too so
once I had the opportunity so while I
was I was part of the startup and I was
looking for funds one of my friends said
her husband had just received six
thousand crores for a land deal that he
had closed in Gujarat and he lives in
the UK he’s coming down after years to
India and he would like to discuss
certain investment opportunities now six
thousand is a billion dollars that’s a
lot of money said oh my god whatever
happens I have to go so I happened to go
meet him in his apartment and I was
wearing a suit because I just come out
of a B and I’m meeting one of the things
that I’m wearing a suit I Drive a German
car I didn’t think much of it I go Park
in his log and I go into his living room
I go inside and in my head I had this
image of a British person sitting there
British Indian right but I go in and
there’s a man-eating pond wearing a
white kurta which is a long Indian thing
wearing that long white coat I’m just
sitting there and I walked in and here’s
the first thing he told me he said the
British left put too much holy shit this
is not how I expected to start a six
thousand crore deal and I’m sitting
there he says why do you drive that car
this is why don’t you use two
and all these Indian maids why are you
wearing a suit why the hell do you have
a phone that’s not made here why my
money yep
I mean he hated me and he kept putting
me down the whole time and I tried to
argue you know I’m usually very good
with people at this time so I’m trying
to tell him that he looked I you know I
want to make India great that’s why
we’re starting this company and all
kinds of stuff for no connect and I
don’t know what happened
but for some reason the conversation
came to me saying well my family is from
poor wonder which is in goodra
and he said oh really my family’s from
for wonder – I was born there that’s her
captive
he said yeah and I could not tell you
why I said it but I said one of my
oldest memories from childhood is this
guy on the streets who used to pop a
goatee in a bottle that marble goes in
and the soda comes out and he’d make a
masala soda
he said Raju you know Raju I don’t know
Raju I said yeah I got you my god raju
is such a great guy he makes the best
booty soda in the world and as soon as
he spoke about Raju there’s a smile on
his face twinkle in his eyes puts his
arm around my shoulder tells his wife –
oh shit we’ve been friends ever since
because sometimes all we need to find is
common ground
one little piece of information will
take you through miles and mild yourself
you never know
and the third lesson was a lesson that I
call a dad but that is actually from MLP
if some of you know NLP and I love it is
matching and mirroring but let me talk
to you about adaption so I had the
opportunity to be in Europe for the past
50 days of 2018 and I was there for
about 40 days and I visited Ukraine and
if you go to Ukraine as an Indian
citizen you get a visa on arrival but
there’s a process you need to fill out a
form and the form has to be printed and
ready with you
unfortunately someone messed up on my
team and I did not have the visa
application but I thought curling it
along now if you bring to Ukraine
Ukraine is a lot like our country huh a
lot of things can happen but I did not
expect this so I go to Ukraine our land
and care when I get out of the
come inside I remember crossing there’s
a small smoking room on the right it
goes straight there’s a sign that says
visa on arrival said great I walk in
there and there’s a Chinese man and his
wife standing there and there’s it only
two so I went up I said how long have
you been waving he said dude we’ve been
here for about 10 15 minutes I said okay
great I’ll wait we waited and no one
showed up so but plenty minutes in I see
the Chinese man go speak to one of the
security guards and the security guards
points in the direction of a door that
says consular services so Chinese man’s
walking so I said walking behind him I
didn’t want to be left out so what
behind them and I see him open the door
and peek his head in this room that says
consular services and he fixes and as
soon as he picks his head in all I hear
is get out I said oh my god what the
hell does happens right turn around and
I see the Chinese man running behind me
and he’s red in the face he comes to me
the Chinese man said that guy’s crazy
and there’s a guy in a red shirt and
blue jeans it walks out of that door
with a gun in his hand and says who you
call crazy who me crazy I go crazy you
were crazy you sleep an airport tonight
all of you sleep an airport that he’ll
just happen and he was shot the guys
with the security team they’re also just
standing there they don’t know what to
say they look at us and say crazy we
can’t do anything different apartment I
didn’t want to sleep in Ukraine’s
airport for I don’t know how many days
without a visa so I walk out and I’m
still taking the same when I see the guy
in the red come out from the corner of
my eye I see him walk around and I saw
that he’s going through the smoking-room
said oh great so I start following him
and while he’s going I like cut forward
and I go inside the room first and why
he enters I put my hand up and I say hey
now when you say hey to someone what’s
gonna happen I expected him to say here
but he just looks around and he says you
say hey to me I said yeah
so why you don’t know me I said and
immediately I knew I needed to adapt so
I look at him and I said yeah I don’t
know you but you look like a man who can
say hi to a stranger and his dog and he
suddenly takes a step back and he nods
and he points to the seat so I said I
sit down I put my phone on the seat and
he picks up the phone and starts to play
with my phone he’s trying to open it
with his eyes and do
the stuff takes out the cover I thought
I’m done
this guy’s gonna take my phone now put
my hand out and he puts my phone back in
my hand and I said look these are my
documents I know it’s a little screwed
up can he help me
he said not even God can help you but I
can help you if you give me a hundred
bucks $100 and I looked at him I said
well look I’ll give you $100 but I will
not give you a single piece of document
you have to stamp it and no one can do
that so he like looks at me was this
smile and he says okay you come so I go
to the visa on arrival counter I go sit
stand there and he the Chinese man
standing there and he says China out
India in okay I go in and I say so he
says well you know I used to live in
Delhi I said oh great and I was
connecting with this guy says really a
born and he said I was born and Delhi
said you were born and Delhi had a very
very white man what are you doing in
Delhi and he looked at me and he said
why I can’t be from Delhi I said no it’s
a great place you you kind of look
Indian you know a little bit he doesn’t
and he says well my family were
missionaries in Delhi in India I said oh
you know I also follow the you know as
Betty would say I followed the light of
God and you know I love it and God is
amazing he says no no I think you don’t
understand my English they were
mercenaries in Delhi they used to kill
people for a living and immediately I
say well you know and it’s sometimes you
gotta kill people many of you killing
people is what there is and we connect
on this point and the man you will not
believe it the man made me step down on
his computer wrote down my Sh
took the print out took his digital
camera took my photo put it in prints it
out goes inside comes back out with my
passport it says that’ll be one hundred
and three dollars for the visa which was
the cost and I had $100 bills so I knew
that other 100 wasn’t coming back I gave
him two hundred lo and behold and I
couldn’t make this up if I wanted to
about three minutes later he comes back
with my passport I received and he
returns 97 dollars to me gives me a hug
and says if you’re ever back at the
airport
love to connect now what happened here
was all we needed to do was match
someone’s personality mirror what he was
doing adapt with who you are because
these are things I want to share with
you in terms of what can happen in the
law a larger scope of getting to know
people of forming a real connection but
while I tell you this I do want to tell
you something that I strongly believe in
I strongly believe that it isn’t about
you just you just learning these things
and going out there and using them but I
call I call this the WTF cycle and if
you master the WTF cycle everything will
fall in place because guys this world
isn’t just about learning how to connect
but is about becoming someone who people
want to connect with and I alleged you
first to be your own you back in the
middle because people don’t like people
who want to be someone else people like
people who are like that become you and
we are like each other so the first step
is the W in the WTF which is working on
yourself welcome yourself build yourself
make yourself into the man that people
want to connect with the woman that
people want to sit next to will work out
I mean look at all the people that have
spoken go spend some time on your body
feed your mind read some books feed your
body with the right kind of food look
the way you want to look look the way
you think you want to meet people to
look become that person second and the
most important to me is tell stories and
work on your stories I know you you’re
sitting here thinking gosh you have some
great stories how did this guy come up
with these stories but I’m telling you
each one of you sitting here each one of
you listening has stories beyond measure
you have some extraordinary stories in
your life the only thing is you don’t
know you have these stories and you
never remember them I urge you to please
just here’s a tip that I use open
Evernote there’s an app called Evernote
or notes on your phone start typing your
stories put them there and remember them
and go back and remember them and here’s
an add-on sometimes when you’re having a
horrible time when you’re having the
worst day of your life
an airport you’re stuck in the middle of
a very very bad day catch yourself and
tell yourself you’re in the middle of a
story three months down the line or six
months down the line you’re gonna be
sharing this story with someone and
suddenly your perception on life will
change instead of fear and become
curiosity because it’s just a story
remember your stories tell them and
master them will get you connect like
never before and finally follow through
we have the opportunity to really build
our lives resume resume if you made a
commitment follow through with it follow
through people like authenticity genuine
andyb that and finally I want to end by
saying that I meet some great people in
the world who are who are so and grow so
engrossed and being they have everything
they want in the world they have all the
money they have all the riches but
they’re still bored thoroughly bored
would love and I study them and I look
at them and here’s what I found I found
that they’re still bored because a lot
of us spent too much time of our lives
being interesting imagine how great
would this world be if we spent just a
little bit of time being interested
thank you [Applause]
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