[Applause]
I first saw Michaela standing upright
and silent in the back of a classroom
while a group of male soldiers told
stories about fighting in the Iraq war
struck by her youth and posture I asked
if she had been a soldier – oh yes she
said I was a gunner every night I was
shot at but when I say I was in a war
nobody believes me and you know why
because I’m a female but what was it
like being a woman in combat I asked she
looked at me
well she said the first thing you’ve got
to understand is that if you’re a girl
in the military the guys only let you be
one of three things a bitch a poor or a
dyke you’re a bitch if you won’t sleep
with them you’re a whore if you’ve got
even one boyfriend and you’re a dyke if
they don’t like you so you can’t win yes
sir the young woman who was standing
beside her that’s how it was for me I
was shocked at the time I knew nothing
about soldiers but I did know that more
American women had served in Iraq than
in any war since World War two and that
many had been wounded had lost limbs and
some had even been killed could what
these young women were telling me be
true and if so what did that say about
the progress of women in my country in
general I decided to find out so I spent
the next three years traveling the u.s.
listening to some 40 women who had
served in Iraq or Afghanistan I learned
a lot from them
I learned about endurance and resilience
and terrible suffering but I also
learned about courage some of the women
I met told me they were proud of their
service others were not but almost all
Michaela’s words and told me they had
felt painfully alone in Iraq because
they were so outnumbered by men my
company consisted of 1,500 men and only
18 women one told me I was fresh meat to
the hungry men there the mortar rounds
that came in daily did less damage to me
than the men who shared my food sadly
her experience was not unusual at the
time some 90% of women in the US
military were reporting being sexually
harassed while serving and between a
quarter and a third said they were raped
not by the enemy but by the men on their
own side was sexual persecution
considered a disease these rates would
be an epidemic and even though the
military has been instigating reformists
lately these these numbers have not
decreased this isn’t only an American
problem
Canada Britain France Italy South Korea
Israel have all reported sexual assault
of women in their militaries and women
are not the only targets in the u.s.
some 2 percent of men in the military
are also sexually assaulted usually by
groups of other men or of someone of a
higher rank the reason men rape men is
the same reason men rape women not out
of out of control lust as is commonly
assumed but as a way to degrade
humiliate and terrorize yes there are
rapists who are sexual sadists but by
far the most are venting rage and
resentment or trying to punish people
they see as threats or Outsiders the
same is true of sexual harassment and
bullying in the military which is why
military assailants tend to target those
who have traditionally been
considered outliers women anyone who’s
not white men they see as weak or gay
and lately Muslims let me talk a minute
about military culture there is probably
no institution that gives ordinary
people so much power over others as the
military with its chain of command
structure and insistence on
unquestioning obedience unfortunately
this leads easily to abuse last July
the New York Times revealed that certain
drill sergeants in the US Marine Corps
were treating their recruits so badly so
cruelly tormenting them torturing and
beating them that several died and some
committed suicide yet had those recruits
tried to fight back or report the
attacks they probably would have been
made to suffer even more
this tradition of blind obedience and
extreme punishment exists to some extent
in all the military branches officer
academies included because it’s seen as
a way to build a disciplined fighting
force but when it’s combined with the
misogyny so deeply embedded in military
culture it creates an atmosphere ripe
for sexual persecution and rape of
course sexual predation exists in
civilian life too but there are
differences in the military that in many
ways make it worse your comrades could
your or your your superiors could be
insulting you all day long mocking you
threatening you grabbing you but you can
never escape them to go home to the
comfort of friends and family you have
to live with these people 24 hours a day
for months sometimes even four years the
same is true even if you’ve been
sexually assaulted a sexual assault can
feel like an attempt
murder and indeed assailants do often
threaten to kill or maim their victims
but in the military you might have to
live with that assailant day and night
and even obey his every order of he’s
your superior and rank all the while
afraid that he might attack you again
and then because a soldier is supposed
to be able to defend herself and never
complain even if you do report the abuse
you are likely to be treated as weak a
failure and liar and a snitch to be
bitch to be blamed and ostracized and
maybe even punished victim blaming and
retaliation are so rife in the US
military that an average of 80 percent
of victims never report the assaults at
all moreover because you’ve been trained
to see your comrades as family the
trauma of an assault is exacerbated by a
devastating sense of betrayal and the
knowledge that the very people who are
supposed to watch your back in battle
are threatening you instead this might
be why a woman who’s been sexually
assaulted in the US military is six
times more likely to kill herself than
any other veterans it is not only
military women who suffer this sort of
retribution for trying to be equal to
men women have almost always been
punished when they first enter all-male
domains you might know women
firefighters or women police officers or
others who were facing this now and look
at the scandals to have come out of the
Silicon Valley recently about the way
women are being treated in the tech
industry back when women first sought
the vote it was not unusual for them to
be imprisoned beaten fired from jobs
sometimes even forced to be to give up
their children the story of women’s
fight for equality is the story of the
fight for civil rights against resistant
all over the world that is why I see
military women today as fighting for
sexual equality for us all they have
gone to the most extreme citadel of
maleness the military with its age-old
macho traditions and said I am taking my
place not behind you not beneath you but
beside you and more and more women are
succeeding men are accepting this and
things are evening out but resistance
from some in the Citadel remains strong
only two years ago Human Rights Watch
released statistics showing that a woman
who reports a sexual assault in the US
military is 12 times more likely to be
punished than a man who commits 1 6 out
of 10 women who reported assaults were
retaliated against and one out of 3 was
pushed out of the military altogether
meanwhile not one of those retaliate
errs or even face charges and the
conviction rates for rape in the US
military has been actually declining at
this point you might well wonder why a
woman would want to join the military at
all if women are treated this badly you
may well be thinking maybe they should
just stay out but women are treated
badly in civilian life 2 in the u.s.
domestic violence is the leading cause
of injury to women but we can’t expect
half the world’s population to hide
itself away no misogyny is not the fault
of a woman and she should not be
punished for it it is the fault of men
who have yet to face up to reality
speaking of reality over the years I’ve
heard a lot of objections to women
joining the military
look I confess I’ve made some myself
but they all depend on
types stuck in the past some of those
stereotypes are sentimental a woman is
built to nurture not fight and is better
suited to promoting peace than war
this is appealing but it’s not true of
all women some of the stereotypes are
insulting women are too physically weak
and emotionally volatile to depend upon
in a crisis
well military women and world leaders
have long proven that one false some of
the stereotypes are absurd women will
ruin the camaraderie of all-male units
and chivalry will make men more inclined
to protect women in a battle than to
fight I find this last one particularly
laughable in the light of the most under
chivalrous rates of sexual assault in
the military these were the same sorts
of arguments that were used to prevent
women from voting from inheriting
property from choosing their own
destinies from going to university from
becoming doctors or scientists
politicians or presidents and every one
of these arguments has been proven
specious now a woman should be able to
choose for herself who and what to be
certainly not all women are suited to
the military but then nor are all men
that is a decision that should be up to
the individual not you or me or a bunch
of all boys in the government with this
in mind I have a suggestion to measure
how women are doing in your country take
a look at how your military is treating
them do they have the same job
opportunities as men how many women
holds the highest ranks what are the
rates of sexual assault and harassment
in your military and what is your
military doing about it are women even
allowed in your military at all and if
not why not now take a look at the women
you know
at school at work at home among your
friends are they being held back from
opportunities can they speak up about
their rights are they listened to with
the same respect as men are they paid
and promoted at the same rapes as men
and if you’re a woman are you and if not
what are you gonna do about it you don’t
have to be in the military to fight for
what’s right
remember Michaela standing so silently
in the back of that classroom she didn’t
stay silent for long she spoke out on
behalf of military women not only to me
for my book but on television and now
she holds an important job in government
helping veterans and this brings me to
my earlier point about courage a lot of
the women I met are fighting back now
they’ve overcome the self blame and
shame they learned in the military and
are speaking out about sexual assault
and discrimination to help others and
demand reform but this entails taking
risks because military whistleblowers
are seen by many as disloyal or even
treacherous these women know better
some have joined lawsuits some have
testified to Congress some have appeared
in documentaries and some have written
books after all a soldier’s courage
doesn’t have to be defined by saving or
killing people on a battlefield it can
be the kind of courage it takes to speak
out against injustice even in the face
of threats and that is the kind of
courage we can all use military and
civilian alike that’s the kind of
courage that gives us hope thank you
[Applause]
[Applause]
I first saw Michaela standing upright
and silent in the back of a classroom
while a group of male soldiers told
stories about fighting in the Iraq war
struck by her youth and posture I asked
if she had been a soldier – oh yes she
said I was a gunner every night I was
shot at but when I say I was in a war
nobody believes me and you know why
because I’m a female but what was it
like being a woman in combat I asked she
looked at me
well she said the first thing you’ve got
to understand is that if you’re a girl
in the military the guys only let you be
one of three things a bitch a poor or a
dyke you’re a bitch if you won’t sleep
with them you’re a whore if you’ve got
even one boyfriend and you’re a dyke if
they don’t like you so you can’t win yes
sir the young woman who was standing
beside her that’s how it was for me I
was shocked at the time I knew nothing
about soldiers but I did know that more
American women had served in Iraq than
in any war since World War two and that
many had been wounded had lost limbs and
some had even been killed could what
these young women were telling me be
true and if so what did that say about
the progress of women in my country in
general I decided to find out so I spent
the next three years traveling the u.s.
listening to some 40 women who had
served in Iraq or Afghanistan I learned
a lot from them
I learned about endurance and resilience
and terrible suffering but I also
learned about courage some of the women
I met told me they were proud of their
service others were not but almost all
Michaela’s words and told me they had
felt painfully alone in Iraq because
they were so outnumbered by men my
company consisted of 1,500 men and only
18 women one told me I was fresh meat to
the hungry men there the mortar rounds
that came in daily did less damage to me
than the men who shared my food sadly
her experience was not unusual at the
time some 90% of women in the US
military were reporting being sexually
harassed while serving and between a
quarter and a third said they were raped
not by the enemy but by the men on their
own side was sexual persecution
considered a disease these rates would
be an epidemic and even though the
military has been instigating reformists
lately these these numbers have not
decreased this isn’t only an American
problem
Canada Britain France Italy South Korea
Israel have all reported sexual assault
of women in their militaries and women
are not the only targets in the u.s.
some 2 percent of men in the military
are also sexually assaulted usually by
groups of other men or of someone of a
higher rank the reason men rape men is
the same reason men rape women not out
of out of control lust as is commonly
assumed but as a way to degrade
humiliate and terrorize yes there are
rapists who are sexual sadists but by
far the most are venting rage and
resentment or trying to punish people
they see as threats or Outsiders the
same is true of sexual harassment and
bullying in the military which is why
military assailants tend to target those
who have traditionally been
considered outliers women anyone who’s
not white men they see as weak or gay
and lately Muslims let me talk a minute
about military culture there is probably
no institution that gives ordinary
people so much power over others as the
military with its chain of command
structure and insistence on
unquestioning obedience unfortunately
this leads easily to abuse last July
the New York Times revealed that certain
drill sergeants in the US Marine Corps
were treating their recruits so badly so
cruelly tormenting them torturing and
beating them that several died and some
committed suicide yet had those recruits
tried to fight back or report the
attacks they probably would have been
made to suffer even more
this tradition of blind obedience and
extreme punishment exists to some extent
in all the military branches officer
academies included because it’s seen as
a way to build a disciplined fighting
force but when it’s combined with the
misogyny so deeply embedded in military
culture it creates an atmosphere ripe
for sexual persecution and rape of
course sexual predation exists in
civilian life too but there are
differences in the military that in many
ways make it worse your comrades could
your or your your superiors could be
insulting you all day long mocking you
threatening you grabbing you but you can
never escape them to go home to the
comfort of friends and family you have
to live with these people 24 hours a day
for months sometimes even four years the
same is true even if you’ve been
sexually assaulted a sexual assault can
feel like an attempt
murder and indeed assailants do often
threaten to kill or maim their victims
but in the military you might have to
live with that assailant day and night
and even obey his every order of he’s
your superior and rank all the while
afraid that he might attack you again
and then because a soldier is supposed
to be able to defend herself and never
complain even if you do report the abuse
you are likely to be treated as weak a
failure and liar and a snitch to be
bitch to be blamed and ostracized and
maybe even punished victim blaming and
retaliation are so rife in the US
military that an average of 80 percent
of victims never report the assaults at
all moreover because you’ve been trained
to see your comrades as family the
trauma of an assault is exacerbated by a
devastating sense of betrayal and the
knowledge that the very people who are
supposed to watch your back in battle
are threatening you instead this might
be why a woman who’s been sexually
assaulted in the US military is six
times more likely to kill herself than
any other veterans it is not only
military women who suffer this sort of
retribution for trying to be equal to
men women have almost always been
punished when they first enter all-male
domains you might know women
firefighters or women police officers or
others who were facing this now and look
at the scandals to have come out of the
Silicon Valley recently about the way
women are being treated in the tech
industry back when women first sought
the vote it was not unusual for them to
be imprisoned beaten fired from jobs
sometimes even forced to be to give up
their children the story of women’s
fight for equality is the story of the
fight for civil rights against resistant
all over the world that is why I see
military women today as fighting for
sexual equality for us all they have
gone to the most extreme citadel of
maleness the military with its age-old
macho traditions and said I am taking my
place not behind you not beneath you but
beside you and more and more women are
succeeding men are accepting this and
things are evening out but resistance
from some in the Citadel remains strong
only two years ago Human Rights Watch
released statistics showing that a woman
who reports a sexual assault in the US
military is 12 times more likely to be
punished than a man who commits 1 6 out
of 10 women who reported assaults were
retaliated against and one out of 3 was
pushed out of the military altogether
meanwhile not one of those retaliate
errs or even face charges and the
conviction rates for rape in the US
military has been actually declining at
this point you might well wonder why a
woman would want to join the military at
all if women are treated this badly you
may well be thinking maybe they should
just stay out but women are treated
badly in civilian life 2 in the u.s.
domestic violence is the leading cause
of injury to women but we can’t expect
half the world’s population to hide
itself away no misogyny is not the fault
of a woman and she should not be
punished for it it is the fault of men
who have yet to face up to reality
speaking of reality over the years I’ve
heard a lot of objections to women
joining the military
look I confess I’ve made some myself
but they all depend on
types stuck in the past some of those
stereotypes are sentimental a woman is
built to nurture not fight and is better
suited to promoting peace than war
this is appealing but it’s not true of
all women some of the stereotypes are
insulting women are too physically weak
and emotionally volatile to depend upon
in a crisis
well military women and world leaders
have long proven that one false some of
the stereotypes are absurd women will
ruin the camaraderie of all-male units
and chivalry will make men more inclined
to protect women in a battle than to
fight I find this last one particularly
laughable in the light of the most under
chivalrous rates of sexual assault in
the military these were the same sorts
of arguments that were used to prevent
women from voting from inheriting
property from choosing their own
destinies from going to university from
becoming doctors or scientists
politicians or presidents and every one
of these arguments has been proven
specious now a woman should be able to
choose for herself who and what to be
certainly not all women are suited to
the military but then nor are all men
that is a decision that should be up to
the individual not you or me or a bunch
of all boys in the government with this
in mind I have a suggestion to measure
how women are doing in your country take
a look at how your military is treating
them do they have the same job
opportunities as men how many women
holds the highest ranks what are the
rates of sexual assault and harassment
in your military and what is your
military doing about it are women even
allowed in your military at all and if
not why not now take a look at the women
you know
at school at work at home among your
friends are they being held back from
opportunities can they speak up about
their rights are they listened to with
the same respect as men are they paid
and promoted at the same rapes as men
and if you’re a woman are you and if not
what are you gonna do about it you don’t
have to be in the military to fight for
what’s right
remember Michaela standing so silently
in the back of that classroom she didn’t
stay silent for long she spoke out on
behalf of military women not only to me
for my book but on television and now
she holds an important job in government
helping veterans and this brings me to
my earlier point about courage a lot of
the women I met are fighting back now
they’ve overcome the self blame and
shame they learned in the military and
are speaking out about sexual assault
and discrimination to help others and
demand reform but this entails taking
risks because military whistleblowers
are seen by many as disloyal or even
treacherous these women know better
some have joined lawsuits some have
testified to Congress some have appeared
in documentaries and some have written
books after all a soldier’s courage
doesn’t have to be defined by saving or
killing people on a battlefield it can
be the kind of courage it takes to speak
out against injustice even in the face
of threats and that is the kind of
courage we can all use military and
civilian alike that’s the kind of
courage that gives us hope thank you
[Applause]
[Applause]
Please follow and like us: