who here has ever been on a really cool
vacation in another country awesome now
who here has spent time in another
country other than a vacation Wow lots
of hands alright last question who here
has ever lived in the Kannada country
not just for a week and not just for
maybe a year for a while significantly
fewer hands now those of you who did
raise your hands I can empathize because
I lived in other countries my entire
life I spoke the language I had friends
family a life and it was home but one
day my entire reality everything I had
ever known changed like that so let’s
talk a bit about my experience abroad to
start with the first time my family
moved to broad I was only two years old
we moved to Bahrain not for those of you
who don’t know Bahrain is a very small
desert country in the Middle East we
lived there for about two-and-a-half
years my mother homeschooled my brother
and I and we had lots of friends it’s a
really cool place and we felt very very
at home there even though we didn’t live
there for very long it felt very
familiar to us because we were so young
but this was pretty much our first
experience in the world that we remember
then when I was five we moved to Germany
now Germany is a whole different game
than Bahrain but in a way it was very
similar in Germany we had lots of
friends we had lots of people who felt
like family my brother and I went to a
lovely school we lived like locals
because we were outside of the military
and we just felt so at home here
especially since we spent my brother and
I the majority of our lives here
everything was great and we were very
happy until one day in March of 2015
we got a phone call and that phone call
said that we had three months to pack up
our entire lives and move to the one
place in the whole world that was most
unfamiliar to us America now some of you
may be thinking wait a minute how is
this the most unfamiliar place in the
world to them all these pictures look
very familiar to me well think about it
my brother and I were abroad from such a
young age that we had very little
exposure to American culture and what
America was like so all of this was
incredibly foreign to us at first I was
shocked I couldn’t breathe I couldn’t
speak I couldn’t move I couldn’t think I
couldn’t even wrap my head around the
fact that my higher reality was going to
change forever
I had moved it for I knew the drill you
leave behind a house friends in a
comfortable situation but this was not
your typical move now I’d like to talk
to you about something that I like to
call the phases of adjusting to a new
situation
phase 1 confidence you feel good the
situation hasn’t coming up they just
know you’re gonna be fine now I like to
think of adjusting to a new situation as
like your first day at a new school so
this point in time would be first day of
school is a couple weeks away and you’ve
seen the pictures you may be even gone
and visited the school everything looks
great and you’re excited face to
uncertainty you have arrived at your new
situation and you’re not quite sure how
you feel about it yet maybe your first
couple minutes your new school you don’t
have enough exposure to know if you like
it or not phase three panic what did I
get myself into I could be back in my
own situation right now probably the
point in your school there you start
realizing wait
I don’t know anybody I don’t know where
to go what time is it what schedule to
have what period what I do what I do I
do I do
phase four adjustment you start seeing
both the pros and cons of your new
situation and begin to come to terms
with them and finally phase five closure
you’ve accepted the situation as your
new life and you move on now the phases
of adjustment are part of a bigger
concept I like to call the big change
the big change is
thing that we all experience in our
lifetime it’s one event that changes
either you or your path and life forever
now naturally the big change is
different for everyone as you might have
seen earlier with Avery up signs talk
maybe the big change from her was losing
her grandmother for me it was our move
to America but even though this is
different for everybody
there is one thing besides adjusting to
a new situation that we all go through
and that is grief
now naturally this will take different
forms depending on what the big change
is for you so if you lose a loved one or
someone really close to you not sure
you’ll feel traditional grief but maybe
you could grieve your old life where you
could grieve what you used to know to be
true so let’s talk about grief a little
bit by talking about the stages of grief
stage one denial this can’t be happening
I refuse to accept I refuse to accept
that my life has changed forever phase
two anger why did the universe have to
do this me what its fate hate me so why
does everything have to change stage
three bargaining now I realize that some
of you may be a little confused about
this but think about it let’s say you
used to live in Washington and now you
moved to Florida and that’s where you
live now maybe in this case bargaining
for you could be you ask your mom if you
can go spend a week with your friends
back in Washington and maybe you can ask
if you can go to your old school for a
couple days you try to spend as much
time in your old situation as possible
because it’s still tough to accept face
for depression why did things have to
change why does this have to suck so
much why did everything that used to be
have to be no more I was happy why did
this have to happen
and finally Stage five acceptance now if
one of you asked me to put myself in the
phases of adjustment or grief I’m not
sure I’d know where to put myself I
probably be between phase four and a
five phase five and stage four and stage
five because I am not depressed or sad
in my new life
I don’t know if I’ll ever accept it it
fully but I know that I am happy and I
am alright and I am surrounded by people
who love me and support me and that’s
what’s important so if you feel like
this if you are going through the big
change and this is where you’re at or
you know someone who’s close to you who
is also going through this there are
lots of things you can do to help if you
are going through the big change don’t
alienate yourself don’t let yourself be
alone and if you know someone going
through the big change don’t let them
push you away stay close to them spend
time with them make sure that they know
that they are loved supported and they
are okay one way I like to deal with it
is swimming cooking crafting my hobbies
we’re spending time with friends that
makes me feel good about my new life so
remember when you go through the big
change whether you’ve experienced
already or you know it’s coming remember
you have friends you have family you are
always surrounded by people who love you
and people who support you and people
who always will be there for you so I’d
like you to leave my talk today knowing
you are loved you are cherished and most importantly you are not alone
vacation in another country awesome now
who here has spent time in another
country other than a vacation Wow lots
of hands alright last question who here
has ever lived in the Kannada country
not just for a week and not just for
maybe a year for a while significantly
fewer hands now those of you who did
raise your hands I can empathize because
I lived in other countries my entire
life I spoke the language I had friends
family a life and it was home but one
day my entire reality everything I had
ever known changed like that so let’s
talk a bit about my experience abroad to
start with the first time my family
moved to broad I was only two years old
we moved to Bahrain not for those of you
who don’t know Bahrain is a very small
desert country in the Middle East we
lived there for about two-and-a-half
years my mother homeschooled my brother
and I and we had lots of friends it’s a
really cool place and we felt very very
at home there even though we didn’t live
there for very long it felt very
familiar to us because we were so young
but this was pretty much our first
experience in the world that we remember
then when I was five we moved to Germany
now Germany is a whole different game
than Bahrain but in a way it was very
similar in Germany we had lots of
friends we had lots of people who felt
like family my brother and I went to a
lovely school we lived like locals
because we were outside of the military
and we just felt so at home here
especially since we spent my brother and
I the majority of our lives here
everything was great and we were very
happy until one day in March of 2015
we got a phone call and that phone call
said that we had three months to pack up
our entire lives and move to the one
place in the whole world that was most
unfamiliar to us America now some of you
may be thinking wait a minute how is
this the most unfamiliar place in the
world to them all these pictures look
very familiar to me well think about it
my brother and I were abroad from such a
young age that we had very little
exposure to American culture and what
America was like so all of this was
incredibly foreign to us at first I was
shocked I couldn’t breathe I couldn’t
speak I couldn’t move I couldn’t think I
couldn’t even wrap my head around the
fact that my higher reality was going to
change forever
I had moved it for I knew the drill you
leave behind a house friends in a
comfortable situation but this was not
your typical move now I’d like to talk
to you about something that I like to
call the phases of adjusting to a new
situation
phase 1 confidence you feel good the
situation hasn’t coming up they just
know you’re gonna be fine now I like to
think of adjusting to a new situation as
like your first day at a new school so
this point in time would be first day of
school is a couple weeks away and you’ve
seen the pictures you may be even gone
and visited the school everything looks
great and you’re excited face to
uncertainty you have arrived at your new
situation and you’re not quite sure how
you feel about it yet maybe your first
couple minutes your new school you don’t
have enough exposure to know if you like
it or not phase three panic what did I
get myself into I could be back in my
own situation right now probably the
point in your school there you start
realizing wait
I don’t know anybody I don’t know where
to go what time is it what schedule to
have what period what I do what I do I
do I do
phase four adjustment you start seeing
both the pros and cons of your new
situation and begin to come to terms
with them and finally phase five closure
you’ve accepted the situation as your
new life and you move on now the phases
of adjustment are part of a bigger
concept I like to call the big change
the big change is
thing that we all experience in our
lifetime it’s one event that changes
either you or your path and life forever
now naturally the big change is
different for everyone as you might have
seen earlier with Avery up signs talk
maybe the big change from her was losing
her grandmother for me it was our move
to America but even though this is
different for everybody
there is one thing besides adjusting to
a new situation that we all go through
and that is grief
now naturally this will take different
forms depending on what the big change
is for you so if you lose a loved one or
someone really close to you not sure
you’ll feel traditional grief but maybe
you could grieve your old life where you
could grieve what you used to know to be
true so let’s talk about grief a little
bit by talking about the stages of grief
stage one denial this can’t be happening
I refuse to accept I refuse to accept
that my life has changed forever phase
two anger why did the universe have to
do this me what its fate hate me so why
does everything have to change stage
three bargaining now I realize that some
of you may be a little confused about
this but think about it let’s say you
used to live in Washington and now you
moved to Florida and that’s where you
live now maybe in this case bargaining
for you could be you ask your mom if you
can go spend a week with your friends
back in Washington and maybe you can ask
if you can go to your old school for a
couple days you try to spend as much
time in your old situation as possible
because it’s still tough to accept face
for depression why did things have to
change why does this have to suck so
much why did everything that used to be
have to be no more I was happy why did
this have to happen
and finally Stage five acceptance now if
one of you asked me to put myself in the
phases of adjustment or grief I’m not
sure I’d know where to put myself I
probably be between phase four and a
five phase five and stage four and stage
five because I am not depressed or sad
in my new life
I don’t know if I’ll ever accept it it
fully but I know that I am happy and I
am alright and I am surrounded by people
who love me and support me and that’s
what’s important so if you feel like
this if you are going through the big
change and this is where you’re at or
you know someone who’s close to you who
is also going through this there are
lots of things you can do to help if you
are going through the big change don’t
alienate yourself don’t let yourself be
alone and if you know someone going
through the big change don’t let them
push you away stay close to them spend
time with them make sure that they know
that they are loved supported and they
are okay one way I like to deal with it
is swimming cooking crafting my hobbies
we’re spending time with friends that
makes me feel good about my new life so
remember when you go through the big
change whether you’ve experienced
already or you know it’s coming remember
you have friends you have family you are
always surrounded by people who love you
and people who support you and people
who always will be there for you so I’d
like you to leave my talk today knowing
you are loved you are cherished and most importantly you are not alone
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