because my older sister took French and
I figured that if I ever needed help she
would be available overall the
experience was pretty boring except on
the day when Stacey entered the room she
didn’t take French Stacey was a
statuesque brunette with a loved
coloureds gift she was gorgeous and I
would just stare it to this day I have
no idea what her voice sounds like
because I never had the guts to just get
out of my seat and talk to her it didn’t
stop there there was another girl named
Morin who actually flirted with me I
know I was surprised too I was
completely unaware about what it is that
she actually meant and so I just failed
to seize that opportunity I failed to
just take a chance and that’s what I’m
here to tell you to do and it’s not a
new message
carpe diem life in every breath Yolo
regardless of the language or the
culture from which these messages
originated their meaning is essentially
the same make the most out of every
opportunity and live life to the fullest
life is wondrous and beautiful and it’s
amazingly complex to the point where it
seems almost like a hodgepodge of chaos
and in order to make more sense out of
this chaos we often create daily
routines everything from as simple as
eating our meals at about the same time
to setting alarms to more complicated
ones like say a business plan or a
vacation itinerary over time these
routines start to become habits and they
define our lives through their
ality and that’s kind of the problem
with them they become comfortable a
comfort zone is its regular it’s safe
its ordinary and maybe at first it makes
us very happy
because we feel protected but according
to the law of diminishing returns it’s
not going to keep us at that same level
of happiness for very long
I like having eggs for breakfast but if
you told me that I would have to have
eggs every day for breakfast for the
rest of my life I can assure you that
I’d be less than enthused after a few
weeks let alone a few days or a few
years rather if you don’t want to make
any changes in your life you’re probably
saying one of these things to yourself
right now
and what you’re really saying if you
translate these phrases is that I feel
comfortable I feel safe it’s like waking
up in a really comfortable bed the alarm
goes off you hit the snooze bar and you
roll back over and go to sleep
you don’t want to get up the problem is
if you don’t get up you don’t get
anything done and that’s the problem
with the comfort zone it makes us feel
complacent we stop seeking to achieve
more and just protect what we have and
that may not seem too bad right now
until you realize that what it means is
that right now this very moment if the
most that you will ever have and the
best that your life will ever be take a
really long look at your life right now
and tell yourself that for the next 5 10
or 20 years nothing is going to get
substantially better now ask yourself
are you okay with that then again
they’re going to be those among us who
just feel a little bit scared about
taking risks we don’t really want to
venture outside that comfort zone
research shows us that this comes from a
variety of different places whether or
not we see some of those opportunities
that experie
we just have a hunch that it’s gonna
turn out wrong or maybe it’s based on a
previous experience that we’ve had or
maybe we’re just concerned about what
our decisions or choices and how they’re
going to affect other people ultimately
all of these things boil down to one
really root cause fear we’re afraid of
the unknown and so we avoid risks and
I’d like to talk about a couple of the
rationalizations that we tell ourselves
in order to make avoiding those risks
seem okay the first of which is a thing
called ambiguity aversion we’re faced
with a couple of different options and
we choose the one that seems familiar we
know exactly what’s going to happen
we willfully blind ourselves to the new
options and instead focus on only what
we’ve already seen and already
experienced and tell ourself it’s
probably the better source the a great
effect is very similar after we’ve made
that initial choice even when things
don’t seem to be going as well as we
might have anticipated them we’re
reluctant to change and choose the other
choice or switch our directions because
we rationalize that any change in
direction is already a loss and
therefore not the best outcome to give
you an example of this risk-averse
behavior I often play a very simple game
with my students that’s based on the
game show let’s make a deal
I show them three cards and only one of
them is a winning outcome then I ask
them of course to pick a card any card
after the student in question has made
their decisions I show them one of the
cards that they didn’t pick which of
course is a losing option and then I ask
them would you like to change your
original choice now the map is very
clear on this because we’ve got more
information now it’s actually in your
best interest to switch but you’d be
surprised just how many students say no
thanks
I’m going to stick with the
picked in the very beginning taking
risks and making changes can be a scary
proposition though alright and innately
takes us out of our comfort zone and
places in new situations and new
scenarios in order to mitigate the fear
that we might associate with those new
situations it’s important for us to kind
of break down the kinds of events or
choices that we might face in our daily
lives the first of which is these things
called known knowns these are situations
that we’ve been in time and again we
pretty much know exactly what’s going to
happen it’s very easy for us to make
predictions about them the second one
are slightly more unfamiliar we know
about them because we’ve seen other
people do these things maybe we’ve read
about them or we heard about how people
handle this type of situation
we’ve never been in that situation
ourselves so we could kind of create a
model that would help us to make that
predictive choice but we have actually
experienced it yet
the last one is something that’s
completely unfamiliar to us maybe we
lack the imagination to conceive of
those actually being options or maybe we
just don’t have enough information to
provide us with all of the available
choices and so it’s virtually impossible
for us to make predictions about how
that’s going to turn out that last
category that I mentioned is by far the
biggest there’s always going to be
things that we simply don’t know and in
this larger category are also events
known as Black Swan effects think of
something as terrible and say a natural
disaster like a hurricane by earthquake
or something similarly that would uproot
nearly every facet of your life when we
start to fixate on these kind of
horrible event it maybe terrifies us and
it causes us to shrink back into our
comfort zone and just to maintain the
status quo and so the last
rationalization
to talk about its the status quo bias as
you can imagine the status quo box is
one where we seek to just maintain
what’s going on right now if we’re faced
with a choice we’re going to pick the
same one that we’ve always been we’d
rather handle the mistakes that we’ve
made in the past rather than make new
mistakes it’s easier for us to plan for
what those decisions are going to end up
in and if they do happen to me the
slightly wrong path or even once a
result in slightly just favorable
outcomes we know how to mitigate those
results in order to lead us in the right
direction we avoid making new mistakes
because what we’re really afraid of is
failure nobody wants to be seen as a
failure or even as being wrong but I
would argue that even failures that we
make today are seeing is just temporary
setbacks in the long run on the road to
future success to give you an example
when I was younger my mom would often
try her hand and making a banana cream
pie now if you’ve never tried this it’s
like a mousse like consistency that has
freshly cut bananas in it warm flaky
crust maybe there’s even whipped cream
on top with her meringue it’s delicious
I highly recommend you try this however
my mother was terrible at this and she
failed virtually every single time but I
can tell you right now that she has made
some of the best banana cream soup ever
to further submit my point I would say
that taking that risk whatever it is is
actually the net positive then we’re
looking for in the long run
why well even when we do fail we end up
learning new things about ourselves and
the world around us which would
ultimately lead to something more
successful in the long run even in
failure we learn to give you a real
world example I’d like to take a look at
these two gentlemen unsatisfied with the
business that they had in the bicycle
world they sought to do something that
nobody else had ever accomplished before
there was no blueprint for them to
follow
there was no steps for them to pursue
they simply had to figure it out as they
went along now
not every attempt that they made was
successful but they took what they learn
from each of those failures and they
applied them and eventually found an
environment in North Carolina that
worked out and that’s why I’m talking to
you in China even though I wasn’t born
here despite what you might be thinking
at this point I’m not advocating that
you take every single risk that’s
available to you that would be lunacy
instead what you need to do is actually
map out how it is that you’re going to
achieve the little goals or larger goals
that we set forth for ourselves in our
life we need to have a strategy first we
need to examine specific aspects of our
life that we’d like to improve and ask
ourselves why do we want to improve that
maybe you’re not being challenged enough
in your job or in school and so you need
to achieve that that challenge where
that environment that does push you so
that you grow with both a person or a
teacher you need to determine what kind
of comfort
we have with the goal as well is a very
small improvement going to be something
that satisfies food or do you need
something much larger if you’re not
being challenged in your current job
maybe you’re considering that you need
to start calling your vocation in which
case you’d have to basically remove
everything that you have now and
completely start over but if you achieve
the challenge that you’re looking for
perhaps that’s actually the best course
of action after you decide to take that
chance you need to make yourself aware
of indicators of success or failure if
you’re on the right track if you can
identify things that would actually
encourage you it’s going to just push
you forward
conversely if you’re on the wrong path
and you can recognize that well perhaps
you can make an adjustment and steer
yourself in the right direction or worst
case scenario you establish hey maybe
this isn’t the right time for me to be
making this risk maybe you’ll come back
to it later but even so you have
achieved new information which can help
you in that pursuit you need to be aware
of the impact that your decision or your
choices have on other people to some
extent depending on what risk you’re
looking at this may be more or less
important if you’re married and you
decide you need a whole new job you
might want to consult that other person
I’m standing here today because I made a
very similar choice about 20 years ago I
was on the fast track to becoming a
prosecutor it was everything that I
thought I wanted to be at that time
until I sat for the LSAT and I was doing
a reasonably good job I had plenty
extra time and unfortunately that extra
time allowed me to contemplate just what
my life could be like and I hated it
luckily at that time I had just started
a part-time job where I was teaching and
I realized that this is exactly what I
wanted now it cost me all of my life
savings at that time the girlfriend that
I had thought it was a terrible decision
and she recommended my father thought it
was horrible and to this day probably
thinks that it’s a terrible mistake but
I still think of it as the best decision
I’ve ever made and that’s the exact kind
of philosophy that I’m encouraging you
and that you need to have here after you
decide that you’re going to make that
risk you need to embrace it you need to
be happy with whatever happens good or
bad because ultimately it’s your life
and by taking that risk you’re taking
control of your life and you’ll realize
that after you make this decision that
it’s the only way that you’re going to
learn and grow as a person because how
else can you expect things to get better
if you don’t try something different I
guess what I’m really trying to get at
here is that after you make all these
risks and you’re able to kind of grow as
a person you’ll find that your comfort
zone will start to slowly expand not
only with the new experiences that you
can gauge but also the way that it
shaped you and the people around you so
I’m encouraging you in your daily life
to make all of those risks that you
think are necessary to step out of your
comfort zone to keep pushing yourself
forward and in the end maybe you’re
enough with the decision that you think
was the best one that you’ve ever made
also thank you [Applause]