the world we’re living in is in a pretty
interesting place perhaps we should say
it’s in a pretty difficult place it’s
never faced such big challenges as it’s
facing right now climate change the fear
of nuclear war fake news extremism of
all kinds a lot of our certainties of
the past are ending even Game of Thrones
is ending this can all be very
destabilizing now don’t get me wrong the
world we live in is an amazingly
beautiful place but I think we can all
admit that our one or two things that we
can improve upon but how we often feel
so stuck so powerless against all these
big problems and how do we go and get
out of this stuckness is there an
unstuck button can we pay for change
with a cryptocurrency can we move
forward in any other way that we haven’t
thought of yet and if we knew how to get
out of this how to go beyond our limits
which is the right way in my own work
and in the volunteer work that I do I do
a lot of workshops and training with
young people and not so young people and
I do it in different parts of the world
as well as in Geneva and at the co forum
which is a conference center there’s
some summer conferences just above
Montreux and every workshop I work on is
about inviting people to find meaning in
their life to be the change and to go
beyond their limits and in my own
journey I’ve realized that there are
great many things that I cannot change
but of the few things that I can control
that I can change they all are in me
there are two tools in particular that
have helped me navigate this complex
world and go beyond at least my own
limits and the limits in the world
around me and those two are silence and
that’s it it’s really that simple just
put a little more silence a little more
love you’ll go beyond anything you’ll be
happier the world we better and good
luck do I get a prize for cheap quickest
TED talk ever
no okay can I just drop this mic
dramatically and walk offstage well
since this time ticker here has some
time left we might as well keep going
and what I can offer you is a tell a few
stories offer a few models and perhaps
ask a few questions that you’ll have to
answer yourself so first question what
is beyond anyway I would say it’s
something just out of our reach just out
of sight we have a hint or a hunch of
where it is or where we think it should
be but a lot of it remains unknown and
what do we do when we face any not
unknown nowaday we take out our
smartphone of course and what is every
smartphone need no matter what version
you have Wi-Fi and energy I would argue
that we are a lot like smartphones not
because we can practically live without
these things anymore but because we also
need connection and energy I would say
Wi-Fi is or silence more or less is like
a secret password to an amazing Wi-Fi or
another way you could say like silence
is like getting your phone in the right
position for that Wi-Fi connection to
get through and energy as you guess it
there’s a lot like love it’s something
that runs the whole program but also
needs to be charged from time to time so
why don’t we explore these two together
because I think together they make the
best navigational tool for going beyond
for going beyond your own limits and
those of all the problems we’ve been
talking about so far why don’t we start
with the first point silence now Who am
I to talk about silence can we even talk
about silence maybe the best thing to do
about silence is just shut up
but if you read anything either online
or in those written things called books
that you kind of still use sometimes at
school I think it’s not on the computer
these paper things if you read anything
nowadays you’ll see that silence there’s
a lot you can say it about silence you
find business journal psychological
journals even everyday newspapers are
talking about silence how it can be
useful in your everyday life how to deal
with stress how to find meaning how to
deal with your memory loss
it’s basically good for everything there
are more and more retreats offered even
by businesses on mindfulness on silence
on how to be more efficient at work you
even have hotels out there that are
willing to lock up your phone for you
you pay for it that they take away for
you so that you can finally be
disconnected or better put connected
with yourself with the present moment
with nature I was doing a workshop
recently for some humanitarians they
came from some of the very difficult
parts of the world crises wars of all
kinds and in the middle of our training
what I told them to do was drop
everything leave your phone and we went
out for a walk 15 minutes in silence and
just looked at the mountains in a
beautiful lake when we came back I asked
him how was it you know what the
response was it was too short another
one said I run so much and I listen to
everyone else and I never listen to
myself listening to yourself probably
one of the hardest people to listen to
probably why we need to practice it I
would say that silence can help with
that silence and listening go together
quite well and I say silence like Wi-Fi
can be understood on three levels if you
recognize the images I would say one is
downloading two is communicating and
three is upgrading so first of all
silence can be super useful for
downloading throughout your day you are
running you are dealing with so many
different issues a brief little moment
of silence
can be a little check-in can be like a
pause button can be even a reset button
see where you’re at
ask yourself what are you feeling what
are you thinking allow all those
attachments that you have been receiving
to be downloaded integrated try it
you’ll see if it works
second I know it might seem logical but
to listen it takes someone to be silent
so for communicating anyone who’s ever
had a bad Skype call which should be
everyone knows how important connection
is if you don’t have a good connection
the communication is going to be off and
how many times have I listened to
someone with a sort of pseudo silence or
I was actually really thinking of
something else or perhaps trying to plan
what I was going to say that the
connection didn’t pass and they didn’t
feel listened to and I didn’t have
anything of value to say one image that
might help that I heard once is how can
I be a blank page in front of others so
that they can write everything that they
have inside to say and only at the end
of our conversation can they read it
back to themselves also give that a try
lastly upgrading all of you know that
every once in a while this thing slows
down and you need to upgrade the system
ask yourselves do you have a deeper
moment of silence a long hike in the
woods a retreat do you guys know what
John mone did one of the godfathers of
our continent right before he proposed
his big plan on Europe he went hiking
for two weeks in the Alps to clear his
head what he was dealing with was so
important and so urgent that he paused
for two weeks you can try to tell your
professor next time you have a big paper
that you need two weeks of hiking good
luck with that so if any of you out
there thinks you have enough silence in
your life Bravo
usually the answer is not enough but ask
yourself if there isn’t enough or can I
put more now that your silence experts
let’s move on to love in a world
craving for likes and basically
inundated with hard emojis we can all
admit that probably were in a bit of a
love deficit but what is love well I
think it’s a lot of things what holds
families together what friendships are
made of all of our concepts of romance
and even just the common interactions of
human decency that we have everyday I
would say you could also use the word
compassion
perhaps for French you could say
bienvenidos for me it’s something more
than an emotion it takes effort but it
can be as simple as a smile I think love
is something that we all know can help
us go beyond because that’s exactly what
it does it takes you beyond yourself and
connects you to someone else and to
something greater to tell to give this a
little more explanation I’ll tell you a
story about 1215 years ago I went to
Colombia with my brothers and we visited
the second largest city midi gene and
there were some friends who are there
who are doing some volunteer work at
night they were giving out tea and
biscuits to some poor parts of the
neighborhood some Barrios and they
invite us to come with him
and for the first time in my life I saw
children street children sniffing glue
to survive I say young girls who were 12
or 13 years old prostituting themselves
and I was struck by the complete
unfairness of the situation I was also
struck by the tremendous joy they had in
meeting us now of course we were giving
out something that they were happy to
have but they were more happy about the
connection the interaction the fact that
we recognized our shared common humanity
and I realized that doing something with
the intention of love doesn’t mean it’s
a handout doesn’t put you above the
other person it create love always seeks
equality it seeks reciprocity it builds
community perhaps I can explain this
also with a model I call it the love
triangle
now I don’t mean a love triangle that
you might have heard of in Netflix or
Hollywood this love tracking is a little
different bear with me love I think
always has three aspects to it it starts
with me it goes to another and it goes
beyond now I made this beyond is
difficult to define you can put other
words there you can put whole you can
put universe you can put humanity for
those of a religious background you can
put God if you wish I think it all fits
but the important thing is that there’s
a flow you cannot love someone else
without in some sense also feeling that
you have something of value to give in
other words you cannot love someone else
without also loving yourself you cannot
love humanity without loving the people
next to you and loving yourself they all
kind of flow into each other there kind
of root and branch of each other and if
they don’t flow into each other there
might be a problem if you’re always
focused on loving other people and never
charge your batteries take care of
yourself you won’t be able to love them
nor yourself nor humanity at all here
comes some questions that might be able
to be asked in a moment of silence you
can ask yourself what does my love
triangle look like this one not the
Hollywood version and ask yourself does
it flow ask yourself in situations that
I’m dealing with not what’s the right
thing to do or what should I do
but how can I love in this situation
what does love look like in my job what
kind of career can I choose that would
allow me to love myself love others and
love humanity go beyond you know another
tough question ask yourself which one of
the three points is the hardest if
you’re anything like me it’s the one on
top
loving yourself is a lifelong project I
admit but from someone who’s tried a lot
I can also say that any step you can
make no matter how small of accepting
yourself of not comparing yourself to
others will only free you up to love and
find love more easily and more freedom
again if you’re anything like me you
might spend a lot of time in front of a
computer screen and you could ask
yourself where’s the love their love is
not work just what you for you find it
it’s where you put it it’s in the
intention that you put so in my little
moment of silence at the beginning of
the day when I center myself I ask
myself how can I put love at everything
I do and the smiles that I have for my
colleagues and even in my email even if
it’s email 147 can I put love in it
not easy but it’s worth the effort and
that is important that you should always
ask yourself why you do things the
philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said he
who has a strong enough Y can bear
almost any how love can strengthen the
why of whatever you do in whatever field
you are la love can be the reason you
get up in the morning the reason you go
to bed at a reasonable hour
so you charge those batteries to go out
and love yourself the world and others
again it can be why the career you
choose it can be why you smile on a
difficult day it can be why you take up
some courage get on stage and give a TED
talk even though you’re nervous as hell
love is a great Y and silence is a great
place to ask that Y to check it to make
sure it’s still on course so don’t start
pressuring yourself now and feeling that
by tomorrow you need to be able to sit
in silent meditation for 3 hours and be
little mother teresa’s it doesn’t have
to go that fast like every journey it’s
one step at a time just ask yourself how
can I put a little more love and a
little more silence today you know what
let’s give it a try right now we still
have some time
let’s take 30 seconds and just ask
yourselves sit with the question where
did I find love today and if there
wasn’t where I wanted it to be how can I
is that that hard I saw some people
cheating back there by the way and for
the online version if you didn’t pause
if you paused and you didn’t do this
properly you better take the 30 seconds
like everyone else so to tie this all
together I could go back to our our
phone it has another good example
besides being able to have a hundred
different apps and be able to make
telephone calls which is quite amazing
it also has a thing called GPS and we
often I like the model of a GPS because
we often put this pressure on ourselves
saying we need to take the right next
step in our career or to save the world
and how do we know it’s the right one
it’ll be wrong and I’ll ruin everything
when in fact the GPS when you turn right
or you turn left
it just recalculates love and silence
have this tremendous retrospective
capacity of making sense out of what
you’ve gone through they help you learn
I would say quite boldly that love makes
sense it makes sense not just because
it’s the smartest thing you can do for
yourself for others and for the world
but it makes sense because it can make
sense that of what you go through
it can give meaning to your life you
know supposedly we use this thing about
a hundred times a day imagine if we put
just even a fraction of that effort into
love and silence so what have we learned
you learned a new definition for the
love triangle you learn the importance
of connection on various levels and you
learned the importance of both using and
charging your energy all that’s left for
you to do is enjoy your journey beyond
one way yes [Applause]
interesting place perhaps we should say
it’s in a pretty difficult place it’s
never faced such big challenges as it’s
facing right now climate change the fear
of nuclear war fake news extremism of
all kinds a lot of our certainties of
the past are ending even Game of Thrones
is ending this can all be very
destabilizing now don’t get me wrong the
world we live in is an amazingly
beautiful place but I think we can all
admit that our one or two things that we
can improve upon but how we often feel
so stuck so powerless against all these
big problems and how do we go and get
out of this stuckness is there an
unstuck button can we pay for change
with a cryptocurrency can we move
forward in any other way that we haven’t
thought of yet and if we knew how to get
out of this how to go beyond our limits
which is the right way in my own work
and in the volunteer work that I do I do
a lot of workshops and training with
young people and not so young people and
I do it in different parts of the world
as well as in Geneva and at the co forum
which is a conference center there’s
some summer conferences just above
Montreux and every workshop I work on is
about inviting people to find meaning in
their life to be the change and to go
beyond their limits and in my own
journey I’ve realized that there are
great many things that I cannot change
but of the few things that I can control
that I can change they all are in me
there are two tools in particular that
have helped me navigate this complex
world and go beyond at least my own
limits and the limits in the world
around me and those two are silence and
that’s it it’s really that simple just
put a little more silence a little more
love you’ll go beyond anything you’ll be
happier the world we better and good
luck do I get a prize for cheap quickest
TED talk ever
no okay can I just drop this mic
dramatically and walk offstage well
since this time ticker here has some
time left we might as well keep going
and what I can offer you is a tell a few
stories offer a few models and perhaps
ask a few questions that you’ll have to
answer yourself so first question what
is beyond anyway I would say it’s
something just out of our reach just out
of sight we have a hint or a hunch of
where it is or where we think it should
be but a lot of it remains unknown and
what do we do when we face any not
unknown nowaday we take out our
smartphone of course and what is every
smartphone need no matter what version
you have Wi-Fi and energy I would argue
that we are a lot like smartphones not
because we can practically live without
these things anymore but because we also
need connection and energy I would say
Wi-Fi is or silence more or less is like
a secret password to an amazing Wi-Fi or
another way you could say like silence
is like getting your phone in the right
position for that Wi-Fi connection to
get through and energy as you guess it
there’s a lot like love it’s something
that runs the whole program but also
needs to be charged from time to time so
why don’t we explore these two together
because I think together they make the
best navigational tool for going beyond
for going beyond your own limits and
those of all the problems we’ve been
talking about so far why don’t we start
with the first point silence now Who am
I to talk about silence can we even talk
about silence maybe the best thing to do
about silence is just shut up
but if you read anything either online
or in those written things called books
that you kind of still use sometimes at
school I think it’s not on the computer
these paper things if you read anything
nowadays you’ll see that silence there’s
a lot you can say it about silence you
find business journal psychological
journals even everyday newspapers are
talking about silence how it can be
useful in your everyday life how to deal
with stress how to find meaning how to
deal with your memory loss
it’s basically good for everything there
are more and more retreats offered even
by businesses on mindfulness on silence
on how to be more efficient at work you
even have hotels out there that are
willing to lock up your phone for you
you pay for it that they take away for
you so that you can finally be
disconnected or better put connected
with yourself with the present moment
with nature I was doing a workshop
recently for some humanitarians they
came from some of the very difficult
parts of the world crises wars of all
kinds and in the middle of our training
what I told them to do was drop
everything leave your phone and we went
out for a walk 15 minutes in silence and
just looked at the mountains in a
beautiful lake when we came back I asked
him how was it you know what the
response was it was too short another
one said I run so much and I listen to
everyone else and I never listen to
myself listening to yourself probably
one of the hardest people to listen to
probably why we need to practice it I
would say that silence can help with
that silence and listening go together
quite well and I say silence like Wi-Fi
can be understood on three levels if you
recognize the images I would say one is
downloading two is communicating and
three is upgrading so first of all
silence can be super useful for
downloading throughout your day you are
running you are dealing with so many
different issues a brief little moment
of silence
can be a little check-in can be like a
pause button can be even a reset button
see where you’re at
ask yourself what are you feeling what
are you thinking allow all those
attachments that you have been receiving
to be downloaded integrated try it
you’ll see if it works
second I know it might seem logical but
to listen it takes someone to be silent
so for communicating anyone who’s ever
had a bad Skype call which should be
everyone knows how important connection
is if you don’t have a good connection
the communication is going to be off and
how many times have I listened to
someone with a sort of pseudo silence or
I was actually really thinking of
something else or perhaps trying to plan
what I was going to say that the
connection didn’t pass and they didn’t
feel listened to and I didn’t have
anything of value to say one image that
might help that I heard once is how can
I be a blank page in front of others so
that they can write everything that they
have inside to say and only at the end
of our conversation can they read it
back to themselves also give that a try
lastly upgrading all of you know that
every once in a while this thing slows
down and you need to upgrade the system
ask yourselves do you have a deeper
moment of silence a long hike in the
woods a retreat do you guys know what
John mone did one of the godfathers of
our continent right before he proposed
his big plan on Europe he went hiking
for two weeks in the Alps to clear his
head what he was dealing with was so
important and so urgent that he paused
for two weeks you can try to tell your
professor next time you have a big paper
that you need two weeks of hiking good
luck with that so if any of you out
there thinks you have enough silence in
your life Bravo
usually the answer is not enough but ask
yourself if there isn’t enough or can I
put more now that your silence experts
let’s move on to love in a world
craving for likes and basically
inundated with hard emojis we can all
admit that probably were in a bit of a
love deficit but what is love well I
think it’s a lot of things what holds
families together what friendships are
made of all of our concepts of romance
and even just the common interactions of
human decency that we have everyday I
would say you could also use the word
compassion
perhaps for French you could say
bienvenidos for me it’s something more
than an emotion it takes effort but it
can be as simple as a smile I think love
is something that we all know can help
us go beyond because that’s exactly what
it does it takes you beyond yourself and
connects you to someone else and to
something greater to tell to give this a
little more explanation I’ll tell you a
story about 1215 years ago I went to
Colombia with my brothers and we visited
the second largest city midi gene and
there were some friends who are there
who are doing some volunteer work at
night they were giving out tea and
biscuits to some poor parts of the
neighborhood some Barrios and they
invite us to come with him
and for the first time in my life I saw
children street children sniffing glue
to survive I say young girls who were 12
or 13 years old prostituting themselves
and I was struck by the complete
unfairness of the situation I was also
struck by the tremendous joy they had in
meeting us now of course we were giving
out something that they were happy to
have but they were more happy about the
connection the interaction the fact that
we recognized our shared common humanity
and I realized that doing something with
the intention of love doesn’t mean it’s
a handout doesn’t put you above the
other person it create love always seeks
equality it seeks reciprocity it builds
community perhaps I can explain this
also with a model I call it the love
triangle
now I don’t mean a love triangle that
you might have heard of in Netflix or
Hollywood this love tracking is a little
different bear with me love I think
always has three aspects to it it starts
with me it goes to another and it goes
beyond now I made this beyond is
difficult to define you can put other
words there you can put whole you can
put universe you can put humanity for
those of a religious background you can
put God if you wish I think it all fits
but the important thing is that there’s
a flow you cannot love someone else
without in some sense also feeling that
you have something of value to give in
other words you cannot love someone else
without also loving yourself you cannot
love humanity without loving the people
next to you and loving yourself they all
kind of flow into each other there kind
of root and branch of each other and if
they don’t flow into each other there
might be a problem if you’re always
focused on loving other people and never
charge your batteries take care of
yourself you won’t be able to love them
nor yourself nor humanity at all here
comes some questions that might be able
to be asked in a moment of silence you
can ask yourself what does my love
triangle look like this one not the
Hollywood version and ask yourself does
it flow ask yourself in situations that
I’m dealing with not what’s the right
thing to do or what should I do
but how can I love in this situation
what does love look like in my job what
kind of career can I choose that would
allow me to love myself love others and
love humanity go beyond you know another
tough question ask yourself which one of
the three points is the hardest if
you’re anything like me it’s the one on
top
loving yourself is a lifelong project I
admit but from someone who’s tried a lot
I can also say that any step you can
make no matter how small of accepting
yourself of not comparing yourself to
others will only free you up to love and
find love more easily and more freedom
again if you’re anything like me you
might spend a lot of time in front of a
computer screen and you could ask
yourself where’s the love their love is
not work just what you for you find it
it’s where you put it it’s in the
intention that you put so in my little
moment of silence at the beginning of
the day when I center myself I ask
myself how can I put love at everything
I do and the smiles that I have for my
colleagues and even in my email even if
it’s email 147 can I put love in it
not easy but it’s worth the effort and
that is important that you should always
ask yourself why you do things the
philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said he
who has a strong enough Y can bear
almost any how love can strengthen the
why of whatever you do in whatever field
you are la love can be the reason you
get up in the morning the reason you go
to bed at a reasonable hour
so you charge those batteries to go out
and love yourself the world and others
again it can be why the career you
choose it can be why you smile on a
difficult day it can be why you take up
some courage get on stage and give a TED
talk even though you’re nervous as hell
love is a great Y and silence is a great
place to ask that Y to check it to make
sure it’s still on course so don’t start
pressuring yourself now and feeling that
by tomorrow you need to be able to sit
in silent meditation for 3 hours and be
little mother teresa’s it doesn’t have
to go that fast like every journey it’s
one step at a time just ask yourself how
can I put a little more love and a
little more silence today you know what
let’s give it a try right now we still
have some time
let’s take 30 seconds and just ask
yourselves sit with the question where
did I find love today and if there
wasn’t where I wanted it to be how can I
is that that hard I saw some people
cheating back there by the way and for
the online version if you didn’t pause
if you paused and you didn’t do this
properly you better take the 30 seconds
like everyone else so to tie this all
together I could go back to our our
phone it has another good example
besides being able to have a hundred
different apps and be able to make
telephone calls which is quite amazing
it also has a thing called GPS and we
often I like the model of a GPS because
we often put this pressure on ourselves
saying we need to take the right next
step in our career or to save the world
and how do we know it’s the right one
it’ll be wrong and I’ll ruin everything
when in fact the GPS when you turn right
or you turn left
it just recalculates love and silence
have this tremendous retrospective
capacity of making sense out of what
you’ve gone through they help you learn
I would say quite boldly that love makes
sense it makes sense not just because
it’s the smartest thing you can do for
yourself for others and for the world
but it makes sense because it can make
sense that of what you go through
it can give meaning to your life you
know supposedly we use this thing about
a hundred times a day imagine if we put
just even a fraction of that effort into
love and silence so what have we learned
you learned a new definition for the
love triangle you learn the importance
of connection on various levels and you
learned the importance of both using and
charging your energy all that’s left for
you to do is enjoy your journey beyond
one way yes [Applause]
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