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Showing Up Broken | Cate Readling | TEDxOakParkWomen


[Music]
thank you
I am in awe to be in the company of all
the people that are here tonight the
people that are giving their
presentations and everyone that’s here
in the building thank you I’m going to
ask you to listen from a place of utmost
Vanar ability because what I’m going to
share with you is going to require an
open mind and an open heart I know
that’s a lot to ask but I’m asking
anyway let’s talk about showing up
showing up is a lot of things showing up
is a podcast showing up is the name of a
racehorse showing up is a social justice
group we do a lot of showing up we show
up for the protest we show up for the
circle group we show up to volunteer at
the school at the hospital at the food
pantry we show up for teacher
conferences we show up for our parents
we show up for our kids we show up for
our jobs it goes on and on and on
showing up is being present making an
effort to be somewhere I propose to you
that showing up broken showing up with
all that we are is the only way to have
true and lasting life in community our
immediate community all the way out to
the widest possible sense of community
so remember that I asked you to listen
with vulnerability and that means that
someone has to go first someone has to
give you the opportunity to recognize
and embrace and protect their
vulnerability I am here to do that
I propose a concept called vulnerability
amnesty vulnerability is exposure
amnesty is forgiveness vulnerability
amnesty is giving ourselves permission
to share our stories especially those
it can be painful so think of it this
way we show up as the individuals that
we are I show up here as a woman but
then as I revealed to you that I am a
woman who is a biracial Latina woman the
only child of divorced parents and an
alcoholic stepfather I am a woman who
has had an abortion and three
miscarriages and the D in college
accounting I am a woman who has been
chased around a desk and cornered in an
elevator by an employer who was a friend
of my parents I’ve had a boot on my car
and I’ve been in a relationship that
scared me I’ve battled depression and
I’ve posted pictures online that made it
look like I was winning so as I share
these broken parts of me and you find
places that match that now we are
connected I just gave myself amnesty to
be vulnerable
instead of tolerating the punishment of
isolation a warning you will get hurt
but the price of your own isolation is
giving up the opportunity for making
those connections deep and lasting
connections that can take us everywhere
that we want to go so
try this with me think of that thing
that you think is broken about you now I
want to share this amnesty with you and
here’s why vulnerability amnesty will
lead us to showing up stronger together
I know that sounds contrived and cliche
but it is crucial because vulnerability
is the way that we keep showing up and
we get more of us to show up so I’ve had
an abortion and three miscarriages and
every time I’ve shared that story I have
found calm and peace and support through
identify as a brown girl with white
privilege and while I can walk through
the store and open a bag of chips I also
recognize the subtle racist comments
like where are you from I don’t think of
you as Hispanic all lives matter and
when I share my own shortcomings my own
prejudices my own racist reaction when I
react to someone based on their
appearance I have been embarrassed I’ve
been taken to task but I have also been
invite you to try this with me
vulnerability amnesty is the way that we
it is in our unseen experiences our
broken pieces that we keep hidden from
others that shapes the way that we
brokenness may dictate how you show up
but you can decide when to forgive
yourself and share your brokenness and
we find those places where our broken
pieces fit together and we can all show
up stronger together
thank you
[Applause] [Music]
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