[Applause]
if I were to ask you to name all the
things you love how long would it take
for you to name yourself when I first
sat down to think about what I wanted to
talk about my immediate thought was the
world crisis in Middle Eastern countries
such as in Syria and in Yemen and while
that was a deep and sensitive issue for
me as a middle-eastern myself I wanted
to talk about something that perhaps
some people in the audience and viewers
at home could relate to keeping our
stimulus making connections in mind I
thought well what’s the most important
connection someone can have in their
life metaphorically speaking of course
and immediately the theme of self love
and appreciation came to my mind because
you need the strong connection with
yourself in order to be able to make new
ones with others right well you see that
we don’t really pay much attention to
self-worth because we don’t think it’s
something that’s important or it’s
anything there is something that won’t
get us anywhere in life when the fact
it’s the only kind of love that we
cannot live without and it’s it’s like
your question why why can we not live
without self love and if you think about
it this is your life any kind of
difficulties or hardships you will face
you will face them alone as much as you
have people telling you oh I’m always by
your side I’m always going to be there
for you at the end of the day you will
be affected the most by any difficulties
you will face now imagine you have all
these people supporting you but you
don’t support yourself how does that
work it’s like saying your parents will
need to have a well-paid job but you
don’t care you just want any job right
now you won’t just automatically get an
amazing job that pays you well just
because your parents wish for it if you
don’t want you receive the best you
won’t get it you have to want you have
to want to thrive for success you need
to want to have your own happiness all
right or else it will never come your
way
now something I’ve noticed a lot on
social media and within my friendship
groups and even with my family at home
is that we are never satisfied with
anything that we do and that can be
because of pressure from our family or
because we’re afraid that we’re not
going to meet expectations that society
has from us and whenever we do actually
achieve something and everyone says oh
you did so well we still criticize
ourselves and we say well I could have
done this differently and I could have
done this better and while at first that
may help help you and
your weaknesses and you know it can let
you become better in the future
if weaknesses is all we’re looking for
then that can quickly lead to a toxic
mindset of I am never good enough and or
I don’t have any to do it and if you
think about it it’s a really it’s a
really big issue that’s rooted deep
within us and quite surprisingly
disliking yourself is a natural feeling
so if you ever hate yourselves I don’t
want to live anymore it’s a natural
feeling but you know I’m not surprised
anyways because as humans you can be
dumb at times so of course we struggle
with something as simple as loving
ourselves right but it’s no use to know
that we are born to dislike ourselves we
have to know why that is and we have to
try and stop this negative attitude we
have towards ourselves because how are
you supposed to help someone if you know
okay yourself now there is no official
guide that helps you love yourself
because it takes time and patience and
there will be many relapses along the
way but there are some steps that you
can follow that can help you know just
push you towards the right direction now
the first step is forgiving a lot of us
are too caught up in the past and we
keep on you know we are always strict
with ourselves because we keep on
thinking about the mistakes that we have
done and said in the past and we have to
forgive ourselves for these mistakes
that we have made because we will true
we will never truly be able to move on
and grow as a person if we keep thinking
about our faults whatever might have
happened happened and there’s nothing
you can do to change that you know that
we the only thing we can change is our
attitude towards our mistakes and say
well okay I messed up here but this is
what I can do to fix it and that way I
won’t do the same mistake in the future
right now the more you think about them
the most stress you’re putting yourself
under and the more time you’re wasting
your life you’re busy anyways now
another important thing that we have to
do is accept where you are in life right
now
life is unpredictable and everything is
constantly changing and we need to
master the ability to accept whatever
comes our way
make the choices and decisions you are
proud of and embrace whatever
destination they take you to enjoy you
are now until you get where you want to
be and fair enough if you don’t like
where you are right now in life and
you’re trying to change it you’re
determined to change it then good for
you because you’re doing something about
it but if all you’re doing is you know
sit on the couch and say
this I don’t like that then first of all
shut up and second of all do something
this is your life no one will change it
for you you literally only wasting your
own time complaining and I get it
sometimes you know the situation is out
of your control you physically can’t do
anything about it but if that’s the case
then shouldn’t you be seeing things in a
more positive view and say all right
then maybe the situation is like that
because it’s supposed to be like that
and things will be better eventually and
you know that things will actually
change we know that nothing is permanent
and we just have to get used to there
and be a bit more optimistic and see
things in a better light because that
way we will always benefit from you
you’ve never gain anything from
stressing put your hands up if you ever
gain anything from stressing no it can’t
see everything we have to the thing that
allows us to gain self-love is how we
deal the issues in a healthy manner and
we move more towards solving rather than
complaining now another crucial thing to
keep in mind when wanting to gain
self-worth is that we have to be
realistic and we have to know what kind
of love it is we’re looking for for
those of you who aren’t at the stage yet
and don’t know what kind of self of
they’re looking for like first do your
researches that were it self love and
you find cold such as knowing your Worth
will always make you happy you can take
this whole concept as a joke because you
know that’s not realistic you can’t be
happy all the time right but well I’m
just talking about these unrealistic
things I’d like to touch on some
self-love myths that I unfortunately
didn’t come up with because I wrote the
speech last minute but I would just like
to clear up these misconceptions and I
want you guys to know that that this
applies to both girls and boys number
one and this is becoming a lot more
common on social media nowadays and that
is self-love is all about pampering
yourself how many times have you seen on
like Instagram Facebook Twitter like how
to love yourself threads you know how to
love yourself 101 and the only thing you
see is like this is the best path form
you should buy and this is the best make
of you know make a brand and stuff and
you’re like wait this is all about
appearance and this actually shows how
much attention will be paid to looks and
it’s actually not that easy so love is
not just oh I look good that’s it it’s a
lot deeper than that and I must admit I
have hated my appearance for quite a
while and that was very insecure for you
know
most of my teenage years because I
always wanted to change the shape of my
nose and change my jaw and I wanted to
look like her and not be like that but I
could make I could have made a lot
better use of those hours I spent
looking in the mirror judging myself but
I guess it takes experience to truly
recognize the foolishness in it and
number two a lot of people think that
self-love is selfish now all I has do
itself in it if it’s practiced correctly
it’s anything but selfish you can think
of it like this if you can’t fill
yourself up with love first how are you
supposed to give any to others and it’s
for those of you there’s always someone
that’s trying to argue with you you know
they say oh but helping loving others
helps me love myself how long does that
really last and is it really reliable
and for those of you who say this want a
relationship what happens once you break
up like do you just stop loving yourself
because the person’s gone you can’t
depend on someone else for you to love
yourself this is a thing between you and
you someone else shouldn’t be the reason
why you appreciate yourself and if you
think about it like this once you start
looking after yourself mentally and
physically and spiritually your thoughts
will slowly be positively affected and
that also affects people around you in a
positive way so how is that selfish if
anything people should be glad that
you’re loving yourself but that doesn’t
mean you only love yourself weaker so
that other people can be affected
positively by it I don’t know if that
makes sense but I created a simple
diagram to show you
you know that’s how you do it now this
one is not a misconception that I’m
trying to explain but this is something
I can’t stress enough and I hope that
you will always keep this in mind be
careful who you surround yourself with
the people you hang around with can
either make or break you and it is so
vital that you surround yourself with
people have the same belief as you and I
don’t mean this religion wise like I’m a
Muslim and I don’t just don’t just
around myself with people who are like
the headscarf
I mean like moral wise how did how do
your friends treat other people and what
did they think of it like you know how
did they speak to elderlies I don’t know
what how do they think of kids if you
for example are around people who drink
and smoke and they like to talk bad
stuff about other people and you know
about that life why are you with those
people what did you gain from that bad
friendships has been has been causing so
many issues for people and can in the
most common and extreme cases kind of
involve death it sounds extreme but it
always thoughts with a group of people
taking advantage of the odd one out and
they say oh if you really want to be one
of us then smoke one drink one why don’t
you stop fight with that one and then
eventually and you know they say one
stop that guy there and then you’ll be
part of us it sounds very extreme but it
has unfortunately as it has happened
before so please don’t don’t let
yourself fall into this dumbness and the
thing do the people you hang around with
really reflect that you love yourself if
if you know that the people talk bad
behind your back but sweet when you went
there with you then think do I really
love myself if I know that they’re bad
to me why would I willingly like no
one’s forcing me to be with them but I
still choose to be with them why did you
do that it’s because you’re afraid
you’re afraid to be alone and you’re
afraid that people will you know say Oh
Louise I look at you you by yourself but
you cannot expect your day or your month
or even your year to be filled with
positivity and good vibes if they’re
filled with dysfunctional and ignorant
people it’s like you know when we’re
watching a movie and the main character
is like Sarah it’s like it’s always
friends with these evil guys this that
they only use them all because he has a
car I don’t know they making him do
stuff that they don’t want to do and the
whole time I’m watching the movie were
like why are you doing go away like who
cares if you’re alone you know we
the characters afraid to be alone but
they don’t leave right the same applies
to us in real life if you know if you
don’t like the people you around with
leave them by yourself at lunch once or
twice I’ve done that so many times and I
reflected on life trust me with a few
tears but it helps we have to understand
that we are not we don’t owe anyone we
went we weren’t born with like in depth
you know we can’t say oh I ought to be
with you I’m gonna be with you yeah you
have the right to walk away from anyone
that you don’t want to be don’t want to
be with remember that bad friends can be
like chains attached to your ankles and
the more you have of those the more
they’ll drag you down they’ll stop you
from moving forward and at some point
though the chains would be so I you
can’t even move forward anymore but let
it gets at this stage and I’ll stop
acting like I know everything cuz I know
your boy but I’ll tell you a quick story
I was supposed to be revising for maths
once but I think I was daydreaming in my
mind was somewhere else I don’t know and
I came up with this quote that I think
can kind of wrap this whole speech up
and it was seven billion people in this
world and you choose to hate yourself
and no I know it might sound a bit
poetic and Eve at first but then I
realized I kind of spread the wrong
message because I’m saying like as long
you can hate anyone from those 7 billion
people as long as it’s not you it’s a
good quote bozo forget about you know I
really hope that this speech inspired
you to make some healthy changes in your
life and I hope that you will start
living life comfortably and remember
that no one is better than you and
you’re not better than anyone else and I
created this as well to show you we’re
all equal you can do whatever you want
you just have to be more confident and
less fearful and here’s an actual quote
from someone way smarter than me a dr.
Seuss actually and is you have brains in
your head and feet in your shoes you can
steer yourself in any way you can steer
yourself in any direction you choose and
while I know this speech may not have
changed your mind immediately or it may
not or it may not have made any impact
on your own I repeat again if I were to
ask you to name all the things you love
how long would it take for you to name
hey just three o’clock this morning
seemed a long time ago yeah yeah just a
bit I like your approach to counsel he’s
like come on it’s okay you’ll be all
yeah to what extent do you feel parents
and teachers can influence our feelings
of self loving children well I think it
kind of depends what ethnicity of our
hands are like something ethnicity yeah
like Middle Eastern like you’re using
Middle East and Asians we are because we
have these high standards will old get
over you can because it’s something
you’re like it’s a mental thing where I
start off with something mentally and
they say you can get over a like just
don’t like the let it bother you but I
think nowadays we are parents and
teachers are getting more aware of the
big issues that lack of self can have on
people and we see around the school as
well we have posters that say oh not
confident come here do this is that
nothing but I think we’re starting to
move towards progress so self love is
the same regardless of ethnicity whereas
the impact we should all have just some
parents the approach might be different
yeah yeah and what about social media do
you feel that is having an social media
or there’s general media social medias
up making it worse or social media
because the thing is we see all these
influences on Instagram and Twitter and
Facebook and sometimes you see them with
like these badass curves and you see
them with the rib party and you say I
want to be like that any kind of can you
know nag away your self esteem and
sometimes I don’t know it’s hard like
it’s you can’t just say oh I’m not gonna
compare myself because you will
eventually okay something you can’t stop
and then you see people on anonymous
accounts giving confessions like oh I
hate myself I don’t know what to do I
don’t want to do this and it’s okay it’s
an endless cycle of sadness and it can
be broken it can’t be broken very easily
actually and I think you get the prize
for the best the best illustrations
today so to sum it up thank you very
much County
[Applause] [Music]
if I were to ask you to name all the
things you love how long would it take
for you to name yourself when I first
sat down to think about what I wanted to
talk about my immediate thought was the
world crisis in Middle Eastern countries
such as in Syria and in Yemen and while
that was a deep and sensitive issue for
me as a middle-eastern myself I wanted
to talk about something that perhaps
some people in the audience and viewers
at home could relate to keeping our
stimulus making connections in mind I
thought well what’s the most important
connection someone can have in their
life metaphorically speaking of course
and immediately the theme of self love
and appreciation came to my mind because
you need the strong connection with
yourself in order to be able to make new
ones with others right well you see that
we don’t really pay much attention to
self-worth because we don’t think it’s
something that’s important or it’s
anything there is something that won’t
get us anywhere in life when the fact
it’s the only kind of love that we
cannot live without and it’s it’s like
your question why why can we not live
without self love and if you think about
it this is your life any kind of
difficulties or hardships you will face
you will face them alone as much as you
have people telling you oh I’m always by
your side I’m always going to be there
for you at the end of the day you will
be affected the most by any difficulties
you will face now imagine you have all
these people supporting you but you
don’t support yourself how does that
work it’s like saying your parents will
need to have a well-paid job but you
don’t care you just want any job right
now you won’t just automatically get an
amazing job that pays you well just
because your parents wish for it if you
don’t want you receive the best you
won’t get it you have to want you have
to want to thrive for success you need
to want to have your own happiness all
right or else it will never come your
way
now something I’ve noticed a lot on
social media and within my friendship
groups and even with my family at home
is that we are never satisfied with
anything that we do and that can be
because of pressure from our family or
because we’re afraid that we’re not
going to meet expectations that society
has from us and whenever we do actually
achieve something and everyone says oh
you did so well we still criticize
ourselves and we say well I could have
done this differently and I could have
done this better and while at first that
may help help you and
your weaknesses and you know it can let
you become better in the future
if weaknesses is all we’re looking for
then that can quickly lead to a toxic
mindset of I am never good enough and or
I don’t have any to do it and if you
think about it it’s a really it’s a
really big issue that’s rooted deep
within us and quite surprisingly
disliking yourself is a natural feeling
so if you ever hate yourselves I don’t
want to live anymore it’s a natural
feeling but you know I’m not surprised
anyways because as humans you can be
dumb at times so of course we struggle
with something as simple as loving
ourselves right but it’s no use to know
that we are born to dislike ourselves we
have to know why that is and we have to
try and stop this negative attitude we
have towards ourselves because how are
you supposed to help someone if you know
okay yourself now there is no official
guide that helps you love yourself
because it takes time and patience and
there will be many relapses along the
way but there are some steps that you
can follow that can help you know just
push you towards the right direction now
the first step is forgiving a lot of us
are too caught up in the past and we
keep on you know we are always strict
with ourselves because we keep on
thinking about the mistakes that we have
done and said in the past and we have to
forgive ourselves for these mistakes
that we have made because we will true
we will never truly be able to move on
and grow as a person if we keep thinking
about our faults whatever might have
happened happened and there’s nothing
you can do to change that you know that
we the only thing we can change is our
attitude towards our mistakes and say
well okay I messed up here but this is
what I can do to fix it and that way I
won’t do the same mistake in the future
right now the more you think about them
the most stress you’re putting yourself
under and the more time you’re wasting
your life you’re busy anyways now
another important thing that we have to
do is accept where you are in life right
now
life is unpredictable and everything is
constantly changing and we need to
master the ability to accept whatever
comes our way
make the choices and decisions you are
proud of and embrace whatever
destination they take you to enjoy you
are now until you get where you want to
be and fair enough if you don’t like
where you are right now in life and
you’re trying to change it you’re
determined to change it then good for
you because you’re doing something about
it but if all you’re doing is you know
sit on the couch and say
this I don’t like that then first of all
shut up and second of all do something
this is your life no one will change it
for you you literally only wasting your
own time complaining and I get it
sometimes you know the situation is out
of your control you physically can’t do
anything about it but if that’s the case
then shouldn’t you be seeing things in a
more positive view and say all right
then maybe the situation is like that
because it’s supposed to be like that
and things will be better eventually and
you know that things will actually
change we know that nothing is permanent
and we just have to get used to there
and be a bit more optimistic and see
things in a better light because that
way we will always benefit from you
you’ve never gain anything from
stressing put your hands up if you ever
gain anything from stressing no it can’t
see everything we have to the thing that
allows us to gain self-love is how we
deal the issues in a healthy manner and
we move more towards solving rather than
complaining now another crucial thing to
keep in mind when wanting to gain
self-worth is that we have to be
realistic and we have to know what kind
of love it is we’re looking for for
those of you who aren’t at the stage yet
and don’t know what kind of self of
they’re looking for like first do your
researches that were it self love and
you find cold such as knowing your Worth
will always make you happy you can take
this whole concept as a joke because you
know that’s not realistic you can’t be
happy all the time right but well I’m
just talking about these unrealistic
things I’d like to touch on some
self-love myths that I unfortunately
didn’t come up with because I wrote the
speech last minute but I would just like
to clear up these misconceptions and I
want you guys to know that that this
applies to both girls and boys number
one and this is becoming a lot more
common on social media nowadays and that
is self-love is all about pampering
yourself how many times have you seen on
like Instagram Facebook Twitter like how
to love yourself threads you know how to
love yourself 101 and the only thing you
see is like this is the best path form
you should buy and this is the best make
of you know make a brand and stuff and
you’re like wait this is all about
appearance and this actually shows how
much attention will be paid to looks and
it’s actually not that easy so love is
not just oh I look good that’s it it’s a
lot deeper than that and I must admit I
have hated my appearance for quite a
while and that was very insecure for you
know
most of my teenage years because I
always wanted to change the shape of my
nose and change my jaw and I wanted to
look like her and not be like that but I
could make I could have made a lot
better use of those hours I spent
looking in the mirror judging myself but
I guess it takes experience to truly
recognize the foolishness in it and
number two a lot of people think that
self-love is selfish now all I has do
itself in it if it’s practiced correctly
it’s anything but selfish you can think
of it like this if you can’t fill
yourself up with love first how are you
supposed to give any to others and it’s
for those of you there’s always someone
that’s trying to argue with you you know
they say oh but helping loving others
helps me love myself how long does that
really last and is it really reliable
and for those of you who say this want a
relationship what happens once you break
up like do you just stop loving yourself
because the person’s gone you can’t
depend on someone else for you to love
yourself this is a thing between you and
you someone else shouldn’t be the reason
why you appreciate yourself and if you
think about it like this once you start
looking after yourself mentally and
physically and spiritually your thoughts
will slowly be positively affected and
that also affects people around you in a
positive way so how is that selfish if
anything people should be glad that
you’re loving yourself but that doesn’t
mean you only love yourself weaker so
that other people can be affected
positively by it I don’t know if that
makes sense but I created a simple
diagram to show you
you know that’s how you do it now this
one is not a misconception that I’m
trying to explain but this is something
I can’t stress enough and I hope that
you will always keep this in mind be
careful who you surround yourself with
the people you hang around with can
either make or break you and it is so
vital that you surround yourself with
people have the same belief as you and I
don’t mean this religion wise like I’m a
Muslim and I don’t just don’t just
around myself with people who are like
the headscarf
I mean like moral wise how did how do
your friends treat other people and what
did they think of it like you know how
did they speak to elderlies I don’t know
what how do they think of kids if you
for example are around people who drink
and smoke and they like to talk bad
stuff about other people and you know
about that life why are you with those
people what did you gain from that bad
friendships has been has been causing so
many issues for people and can in the
most common and extreme cases kind of
involve death it sounds extreme but it
always thoughts with a group of people
taking advantage of the odd one out and
they say oh if you really want to be one
of us then smoke one drink one why don’t
you stop fight with that one and then
eventually and you know they say one
stop that guy there and then you’ll be
part of us it sounds very extreme but it
has unfortunately as it has happened
before so please don’t don’t let
yourself fall into this dumbness and the
thing do the people you hang around with
really reflect that you love yourself if
if you know that the people talk bad
behind your back but sweet when you went
there with you then think do I really
love myself if I know that they’re bad
to me why would I willingly like no
one’s forcing me to be with them but I
still choose to be with them why did you
do that it’s because you’re afraid
you’re afraid to be alone and you’re
afraid that people will you know say Oh
Louise I look at you you by yourself but
you cannot expect your day or your month
or even your year to be filled with
positivity and good vibes if they’re
filled with dysfunctional and ignorant
people it’s like you know when we’re
watching a movie and the main character
is like Sarah it’s like it’s always
friends with these evil guys this that
they only use them all because he has a
car I don’t know they making him do
stuff that they don’t want to do and the
whole time I’m watching the movie were
like why are you doing go away like who
cares if you’re alone you know we
the characters afraid to be alone but
they don’t leave right the same applies
to us in real life if you know if you
don’t like the people you around with
leave them by yourself at lunch once or
twice I’ve done that so many times and I
reflected on life trust me with a few
tears but it helps we have to understand
that we are not we don’t owe anyone we
went we weren’t born with like in depth
you know we can’t say oh I ought to be
with you I’m gonna be with you yeah you
have the right to walk away from anyone
that you don’t want to be don’t want to
be with remember that bad friends can be
like chains attached to your ankles and
the more you have of those the more
they’ll drag you down they’ll stop you
from moving forward and at some point
though the chains would be so I you
can’t even move forward anymore but let
it gets at this stage and I’ll stop
acting like I know everything cuz I know
your boy but I’ll tell you a quick story
I was supposed to be revising for maths
once but I think I was daydreaming in my
mind was somewhere else I don’t know and
I came up with this quote that I think
can kind of wrap this whole speech up
and it was seven billion people in this
world and you choose to hate yourself
and no I know it might sound a bit
poetic and Eve at first but then I
realized I kind of spread the wrong
message because I’m saying like as long
you can hate anyone from those 7 billion
people as long as it’s not you it’s a
good quote bozo forget about you know I
really hope that this speech inspired
you to make some healthy changes in your
life and I hope that you will start
living life comfortably and remember
that no one is better than you and
you’re not better than anyone else and I
created this as well to show you we’re
all equal you can do whatever you want
you just have to be more confident and
less fearful and here’s an actual quote
from someone way smarter than me a dr.
Seuss actually and is you have brains in
your head and feet in your shoes you can
steer yourself in any way you can steer
yourself in any direction you choose and
while I know this speech may not have
changed your mind immediately or it may
not or it may not have made any impact
on your own I repeat again if I were to
ask you to name all the things you love
how long would it take for you to name
hey just three o’clock this morning
seemed a long time ago yeah yeah just a
bit I like your approach to counsel he’s
like come on it’s okay you’ll be all
yeah to what extent do you feel parents
and teachers can influence our feelings
of self loving children well I think it
kind of depends what ethnicity of our
hands are like something ethnicity yeah
like Middle Eastern like you’re using
Middle East and Asians we are because we
have these high standards will old get
over you can because it’s something
you’re like it’s a mental thing where I
start off with something mentally and
they say you can get over a like just
don’t like the let it bother you but I
think nowadays we are parents and
teachers are getting more aware of the
big issues that lack of self can have on
people and we see around the school as
well we have posters that say oh not
confident come here do this is that
nothing but I think we’re starting to
move towards progress so self love is
the same regardless of ethnicity whereas
the impact we should all have just some
parents the approach might be different
yeah yeah and what about social media do
you feel that is having an social media
or there’s general media social medias
up making it worse or social media
because the thing is we see all these
influences on Instagram and Twitter and
Facebook and sometimes you see them with
like these badass curves and you see
them with the rib party and you say I
want to be like that any kind of can you
know nag away your self esteem and
sometimes I don’t know it’s hard like
it’s you can’t just say oh I’m not gonna
compare myself because you will
eventually okay something you can’t stop
and then you see people on anonymous
accounts giving confessions like oh I
hate myself I don’t know what to do I
don’t want to do this and it’s okay it’s
an endless cycle of sadness and it can
be broken it can’t be broken very easily
actually and I think you get the prize
for the best the best illustrations
today so to sum it up thank you very
much County
[Applause] [Music]
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